Date: Mon, 21 Oct 2002 02:53:56 -0400 From: Herald Buchanan Subject: Why Men Bond Bonding is a uniting of two elements based upon initial contact between the two, that special attraction much like opposite ends of a magnet, a first and lasting impression between mother and offspring at birth. It also incorporates other one-on-one numerous variances extending as far as binding and/or physical restraint of one living human or animal by another for reasons ranging from jealousy to fear, and including not always defined hate or resentments based on jealousy carefully kept hidden by attempts to conceal the truth. What can be worse than someone pretending to be a friend only to discover the real truth that he is your enemy robed in garments of fake pretensions and a false smile to conceal his ready to strike fangs! In my lengthy and devoted struggling to find that special someone needed for a bonding I never knew as a child, perhaps the beginning of my plight was right under my nose without my knowing it. An egg remaining in a nest of a domesticated chicken after all the other eggs had hatched and become baby chicks may be completely incubated using other sources as wrapping the piped egg in a soft towel and placing both in the warm sun. My personal experience came when my maternal grandmother presented me with the same task and with instructions for carrying it out. Shortly after the chirping little puffy yellow covered chick became a living part of the world as he made his way from the shell, he was looking to me as the source for food and survival based on an affection that always accompanies an element of love and/or variations of affection. After naming the new chick 'Pip,' because of the way nature left him in the shell after all his siblings followed their mother's every move she made, the bonding began to demonstrate itself. Pip watched and followed my hand to lead him to food. Rather than find his way under a mother hen when frightened, needing refuge from prevailing weather, or a warm place to rest or sleep, Pip traveled up the leg of my jeans. This special affection continued well after the chick had become an adult rooster and learning to crow. It was then when the only parent Chip ever knew had to decide between a chance for material gain or providing a more appropriate place for an orphaned creature to call home. The final decision was to sell the atypical pet to a neighbor to make into a salad for a party for a sum of money to add to my cache for acquiring later a more appropriate living friend. One day after I became a man, I would move to a different location even if I needed to hitchhike to get there to find that ideal object for real male bonding! Regardless of the many variations presented while the newly born has no choice, whatever the binding, there always remains an unalterable permanent and emotionally operative personality complex. If an older sister or brother shows more affection to the little boy, he begins to substitute this caring attitude as his true biological mother and sometimes father. Then when the day comes and his surrogate parent decides it is time to tell the little boy the truth, the many varied influences this finding can make on the child's life are only in the beginning stages as a first act in a life-long drama. While this sort of bonding comes easier when a bottle is substituted for the natural source, a mother's breast, it is also the reason the boy continues to suck on his thumb after the bottle is taken away. Then after constant harassment for reasons ranging from 'you'll ruin the shape of your teeth' to 'big boys don't suck their thumbs,' the slowly shaping young man begins to search for another source for bonding. From a game of marbles in the sand to his first chance to play in a competitive sport, join other boys in scouts, the YMCA, church and/or school sponsored activities, it is always that element of bonding that really forces a young man to make his decisions concerning male bonding. But by the age of puberty when other decisive factors of male bonding begin to come along as very influential components of the decision-making process, his true friends are now more limited with other boys with things in common like in school related sports, a friendship that began at the gym, or that one boy who didn't laugh when his friend made an error. What can be better than getting reacquainted with that older brother long after he and you have become an adult and begin to bind again but in different ways? The new friend sharing many things in common besides age, physical maturity, sports, fitness, athletic skills, scholastic aptitude, among so many other decisive factors that are a part of this bonding process become and usually unintentionally planned that true element that serves to bind two men eternally. As initial bonding leads to a closer relationship between two male friends who now share more and/or other than the common interests as was true for their past, the two men will find a way to make their relationship remain alive and preferably by sharing the same location to call home. His name is that common one shared by many other men in as many various locations as slight variations of that name. But since upon first meeting it was more than names, faces, places of origin, or anything remotely associated with a man's either given or family name that suggested reasons for wishing to bond with him, my initial meeting with James Edward Jones was that persuasive device. I was just getting ready to enter the door to a too long delayed visit to Have It Your Way Gym and Fitness Center when Jim, he later asked me to call him, asked it was all right for him to come in just for a place to relax and to get his head back on his shoulders while deciding what he must do next. Since I failed to recognize Jim as any acquaintance from the past and at the same time attempting to understand his true meaning with "what he must do next," I invited him to come inside with me even if that meant that I would be held responsible for paying the fee. Good friend and operator, Charlie, far more a real man in many ways than his common name might suggest, told me it was all right to bring in a friend before I had time to ask. And to make that exciting news transpire into something far more beautiful than getting to meet a complete stranger with very apparent common interests, the real surprise began when Jim decided to join in the workout but failed to have the usual proper clothes for the purpose. Shoes, socks, shorts, shirt, jock strap meant nothing since Jim and I decided on the stream room followed by a shower over preferences of the weight room, calisthenics, mechanical exercise equipment, or the added charge for a massage by a noted masseuse. While there is nothing truly atypical about one man's noticing another man's naked body, especially in doing it he notes that the other man is doing the same to him, this time it was very different since Jim and I were the only men in the steam room when we decided to go in. The more he explained why he was standing there when I arrived at the fitness center the more I had no control over a need to bond with him. Jim was neither an image of a past caring brother, a surrogate father, nor the first young man that became a good friend. And although his naked body represented a perfection mine would never match, and his sexual endowment was reason to make any man take a more intense and lasting than typical or the usual look, it was that inability to understand that was deciding for me a reason I needed to bond with James Edward Jones, better known as plain Jim. Jim had landed in town in search of a more promising job when he discovered that he had lost his wallet. And since the first likely place for finding a likely solution to the job hunt handed him parked near the entrance to the fitness center, not knowing what else to do or where to go next, that's the way I found him standing there when I arrived to go inside. Then as each of us sat naked on a shared towel in the steam room since Jim didn't feel free to take his own from the table because his visit is free, the stories he chose to tell about his past had be thinking his need to bond with another man was coming close to my own. After all, is that not a very important part of the bonding process, the need to it? Jim's father was the sheriff of the county in Alabama where he and his son, Jim were born, died when Jim was only a young and impressionable boy. Arriving home one evening much later than usual, his wife, Jim's mother mistook the noise from Sheriff Jones' climbing the back entrance steps as a potential robber and shot him in self-defense. That never to erase permanent mental indentation or indelible stamp remained a fixed reason for Jim's constant search for a security known only by men with common identities. Was it destiny that brought us two men together as unexpectedly and the way we just happened to meet? My Navy career really ended before I was eligible for honorable discharge with the sudden and unexpected death of my best sailor friend. Is it that special something that comes along much later than past dreams sought, optimistic hopes, and/or the seemingly never-ending searching begins to end? The man needed a place to stay while he tries to correct the reasons conflicting with his search for work. Without any financial support for acquiring a hotel room to rent and only a car for transportation until the fuel runs out, what better way for a man to try to ascertain if this represented male bonding upon first meeting than to ask the new friend if he might consider sharing the living quarters with the new friend he seems interested in bonding with? Like a young boy getting his first bicycle rather than a bigger tricycle, the wide smile on Jim's face came very close to matching one of the primary reasons for my considering both to invite him to stay at my place and a better chance for male bonding if this was where this first meeting was leading. Any man who insists that sex has nothing to do with male bonding is either failing to tell the complete truth or he has fallen victim to the effects of the absence of that much needed bonding at birth. Is it the game itself that persuades a man to attend a game or a chance to visit the locker room after the game and see more of the players out of uniform? Is a contact sport more appealing than a swim meet or bicycle race because of the many ways the players choose to make the contacts? Perhaps the greatest reason a man fails to find his true identity or to discovery that very necessary male bonding is simply his fabricated excuses for failure to investigate the likely possibilities. Too, this lack of male bonding based on a lack of truthfulness to one's self reflects in the relationship between brothers in the Garden of Eden and unknowing why he did it at the time or that he was marrying his own mother, Jocasta in tale of the sphinx in Greek drama, "Oedipus." Evidence more than suggests that had he had a choice, the choice would have been his father, King Laius, wherein a lack of father-son bonding seemed lacking. While sibling rivalry may extend well into a man's adult life and serve as a reason for failure to bond with another man in many situations ranging from a shared job situation to which all-male fraternity or gym to join, failure to weight the true reasons incorporated with male bonding brings problems with marriage, inability for father and son to bond properly as well as a very likely reason why some men have problems with boss and employee relationships. While the coach at the gym is likely to comment, "if Amid Ben Aden had a cock up his ass hole he might learn to understand other men rather try to destroy them," this writer insists upon maintaining the dignity this subject deserves. Of course, considering reasons why Coach never married and why he chose to share an apartment with another coach might say more than his displaced remark about a terrorist social derelict with no better way for allocation of his inherited wealth. If a reader fails to see or to understand a very basic reason for the necessity of male bonding after viewing James Edward Jones in the nude, then he is too hung up on past discrepancies with understanding this basic need as he considers another man no more than simplicity suggested from a name inherited at birth. And while there is often truth in "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder," how will any man ever learn the truth about his own male bonding if he never meets another man in the nude? Like nature provides with no excuses, man in his natural state will never be substituted as any likely alternative to man-made bonding as attempts to replace the real, natural, and virgin quality of life, itself! Part II- When Choosing to Share Becomes the Real Turning Point in the Lives of Two Men On a perfect day in June, a welcoming sunrise adds that special appreciation for life and living. Then knowing that one man wishes to share moments like these with another man finds that other man sleeping a very short distance away is like still believing a dream might come true when it just did! The only reason I stopped checking on Jim before I succumbed to inevitable sleep was the simple reason that I saw his bed empty with his frequent trips to the bathroom that would bring him by my door both on his way there and on his way back to his room. While very difficult circumstances in the steam room at the gym were close to irresistible, both of us naked again and as close as the hallway physically separating us had me weighing why did I invite Jim here, why did he agree to come here, and why are we not sharing the same bed? Sex and physical contact promotes interest in contact sports as much as does the need for male bonding promotes a perfect atmosphere for its successful existence. While a perfect beginning of a promising day and that day free from any outside inferences, a man was in one room unable to sleep from watching a naked friend passing his bedroom door to and from the bathroom while the man passing by showed all indications that he was ready and willing to share the same room and bed if only he could hear welcoming words like, "why don't you come in here with me so both of us can help solve our pressing problems?" The task of trying to wake up was followed with breakfast in the nude and one man looking across a table at his new friend as devotedly as the man across from him repeat the gesture like looking into a mirror. Reflections of true life filled the area more than aromas from freshly brewed coffee, toasted bread, and the freshness of a dewy breeze filter in though an open window. A simple meal within a natural setting was saying it's all right to end the contemplation by permitting the actions of true male bonding to happen with no reservations and in so doing prove why two men who were a short while ago complete strangers wanted to be together from first meeting. Some elements of society frown at the idea of two men sharing their lives together while the truth in a man's soul agrees with the probability and his hesitations still lie in the missing male bonding since birth. I felt no more guilt should Joe not push me away in my efforts to place my mouth to meet the reproduction appendage once hanging before me in a steam room and now hidden beneath the table where we attempted to bring nourishment to our bodies while denying our sexual needs. Knowing that Joe had other important issued on his mind than the more selfish ones predominating my ability to refocus mine is comparable to or in analogy with why does a man attending a game of contact sports or go to the gym instead of yielding to all the natural tendencies that persuaded him to go there? And while this might appear redundant with the close to frequent repetitions, what man ever accepts one opportunity for experiencing a great sexual encounter without anxiously anticipating the next? I took up on Joe's offer to clean up the kitchen after breakfast for an excuse to get way for a few moments, and temporarily to deter my determination to get to know him in a more intimate way. Going outside for the newspaper was my excuse for searching areas of his car I thought Jim might have missed in his search for the lost wallet. And while that seemed as if I was infringing on his personal privacy not to mention that freedom inherent to all men's enjoyment with a democracy, what I found in addition to the lost wallet, I placed back close to where I found them, planning never to mention them unless Jim introduced the subject later. Rushing to create a believable excuse that my time outside was for no more than fetching the newspaper became as stupid and impractical as not telling Jim I had found his wallet. But since so many unnecessary maneuverings were attempting to hide the real truth, I did need to persuade myself to inform him about finding the wallet and thinking very seriously about adding the photos I just happened to see when looking under the seat in search for his lost wallet. When I returned to the kitchen, not only did Jim have it looking like new again, he had poured fresh coffee for both us and asked if he might share part of the paper with the want ads to aid in his search for a job. While my handing him the once lost wallet was like an invitation to go to bed with me from way he reacted at the new and most welcomed news, I was surprised when his having to know I had searched his car to find it, instead on my mentioning the pictures, Jim asked out of the clear blue shy, "you didn't happen to find some pictures I must have lost at the same time I first missed the wallet in my back pocket. Did you?" Sure the photos show Jim and another man standing as close together as their choice of clothing is to nude. I saw no resemblance to suggest biological brothers or no signs of any pretentious clandestine methods for concealing two men in love as a likely substitute for commonly accepted male bonding. When Jim took them from my hand and after a quick look placed them beside his cup of coffee before returned to the want ads in the newspaper, all suspicion with very heavy elements of pure jealousy fled my selfish thinking as my foot went up to park in the chair across the table as if Jim was not seated there. Before I could tell him not to worry about finding a job, that I could aligned align him with a position where I work, Jim was heading down the hall to a bedroom, pulling me behind with his hand on my object of his affection. Part III - A Free Day without Obligations Is Like a Vacation with Pay and Not Needing to Leave Home Saturday morning off to a later start, and any man who has been here before understands why. That is not either to imply or to state to my place for a visit or over night, save a relative once in a rare time. That is those multiplicative variations of two men's experiencing a mutual gratification of a long and suppressed desire until that decisions comes most unexpectedly and begins to change their lives perhaps forever. While I used to thing I heard Jim talking in his sleep only to discover that he was just mumbling on his way to the bathroom, it had to be that he was sleepwalking most of the night. I did know that was the reason for sleeping later than usual on Saturday morning. As I did try very hard not to mention this once Joe showed for what was now brunch instead of breakfast or an early lunch, his first words over our first cup of coffee suggested that there was more to my assumption than simply walking in his sleep. But like the snapshots I found near his lost wallet, I would never mention it to him unless he brought up the subject. After a cup of two of hot strong coffee, I had planned to invite him out to the unbelievable brunch buffet at a local hotel. But when I saw that different than I had ever seen before expression on his face, I interpreted it as his wondering why there was no food with our coffee. Little was I to know at the time that his mind was as far away from breakfast as my assumption about what caused his sleepwalking. Is he worried about the possibility of finding a job? Does he prefer eating in as opposed to say a brunch at a hotel dining room? Or where there secrets that Joe had not yet decided to tell me about himself? However, should he decide to tell me about the sleeping problem the way he did about why all his trips to the bathroom, perhaps it was better that I wait instead of asking questions. Then in an atmosphere of silence save the sounds from the coffeemaker, a cup being lifted from a saucer, or a spoon for sugar or to stir either one in, Jim began to speak. I though he might be ready to ask about the newspaper and had I had difficulty with finding it when I went outside for it. Damn! All the things a man wants to learn about another man that he feels sure now is close to a becoming a lasting bond! While impatience was my major problem, Joe's hesitation was beginning to drive me up the wall he kept staring at instead of my body or my face. This time we were not naked but each of us was wearing boxer underwear with no closure on the fly. His legs were spread wide as usual, making it easy for me to see a part of what I experienced the night before. And although this time we were seated on barstools at the counter rather the table, Jim showed no indications of trying to look over at the fly on my boxers as if he is no longer interested. As my impatience along with Jim's procrastination had me ready to speak first in an effort to break the ice, here came the first words from Joe more than twenty minutes from the time we sat down for the coffee. "Did I disturb your sleep last night?" Jim calmly and politely asked. "Why do you ask, Jim?" I attempted to substitute modesty for any overanxious effort toward prying into anything personal that Jim was not ready to share. "Don't pretend to be so ignorant or trying to cover over the way you really feel," Jim went on. "After all, we did sleep together last night. And if I left the bed for any reason, you would have known." Thinking at first that his conscience was recalling his childhood when his mother accidentally killed his father, I decided to continue as if I had no idea what he was getting ready to tell me. I was both right but not completely right with this assumption. But perhaps the best way to learn was to wait until Jim willingly volunteered the information and when he decided to do it. The new but frightening look on his face as he looked toward the open window as it the answer to his problem was outside or the message he was trying to share with me was as difficult to bring out as travelling into space without an appropriate vehicle. As he turned on the barstool facing me, I did likewise and faced him with our legs touching, his inside mine and my instant problem with any readiness to listen went with the instant erection that brought another visitor though the door to my boxer underwear. If sexual desire could stay out of the way long enough to permit one man to share a story about his life with another, I would already know what Jim is trying to tell me. But on the other hand, without that natural blessing, there would no male bonding. "No more hesitations!" Jim announced rather bluntly. "There's something I need to get off my mind and there's no reason to keep putting it off!" Of all the many moods that Jim's presence, general actions, body language, or doing what I wished for without my having to suggest so far, this time I failed to describe it as well as did I feel completely shocked when he decided to end the suspense. Almost in tears until he decided to look into my eyes again and for the first time this atypical day, those difficult word to say finally came out. "Shortly after my mother discovered that she had murdered my dad, she tried to take her own life before calling for help." There was this closer to complete silence, an absolute and unqualified void I had never experienced before. As Jim reached closer to me and began to force me into an embrace, he lifted my body with it, placing the two of us standing, facing one another with everything touching from our knees to the lips with his first kiss. I could already detect that there was more to his story than the last thing he chose to add about his past life as a boy, growing up in Alabama. However, that could wait even if it meant requiring longer than the time to tell me. How could any man afford to interrupt that first real show of male bonding? Suspense was stale bread to be fed to the birds. Impatience became something that women do when a husband refused to jump every time she speaks. And this kind of silence needs nothing added since a closeness of two men with confirmed affection one for the other demands nothing more! From the first time I saw Jim and before he removed his clothes, I knew he is stronger than I am. But when he lifted me entirely and began to carry me down the hall and back to bed, nothing more remained to add! The moment we were near the bed, rather than drop my body to the surface somewhat like a dad might do with his young son, he lowered me like an unhatched egg to a the hard floor. As I felt my body touch the bed's surface as that placed me on my back, here came a big difference as Jim joined me. Each of his legs rested on the outside of each of mine as his bent and raise knees supported his suspended frame. Gently permitting his body to lower slowly brought yet another difficult to describe sensation of complete ecstasy. As our bodies began to meet from his lips near mine, chest touching chest, the lower portion of Jim's trunk met that part of mine as each man's genitalia sealed against the other's. As automatic erections pressed one firmer against and the full length and thickness of the other, two pairs of testicles kept tempo with the action as two celebrating heroic heads on inflated and expanded shafts fired signal after signal to announce the greatest male bonding in the entire history of mankind. Within minutes, Jim began to push his body upward somewhat like he had done earlier when he placed me down. As some of the pleasant sensations left momentarily with a slight separation of one phallus from the other, I found my entire body pressing against Jim's again as we now lay side by side. It was like a greedy feeling with after having won a lottery and still wanting more. I was the boy that finished one cone of ice cream and wanting one more, when an understanding gentleman nearby and knowing the boy didn't need another but gave the money to buy a second one for reasons he need not explain. It was no second cone of ice cream, nor new bicycle instead of a bigger tricycle, or breakfast in bed while skipping whatever might follow the hot coffee. What was beginning to resemble some sort of glue binding those parts of our bodies together instantly transformed into that ideal lubricant that forces a stubborn bolt into a tight joint. The sphincter that once guarded the entrance sprang open like a remote control on a garage door upon the touch to a small button. Where the energy came from with both of us missing breakfast after a long and very busy night was far less a concern than the mind-blowing indescribable ecstasy following. As the very soothing and gratifying spasms of convulsive moments entered my emotionally responding body in seemingly unending eruptions of excrusiating fulfillment, that very similar part of my own reproductive instrument became much more than ice cream cones, a bicycle to replace a little boy's toy, waiting for breakfast, or not giving a damn who walks and/or talks in his sleep. And it also had nothing in common with getting fucked by a job assignment at work! Meeting on the street, followed by a grander introduction while naked in the steam room of a gym, or that first gentlemen's agreement about a place to sleep for the night were now comparable with the necessity to dress before leaving for work or locking doors before falling asleep at night. And if it's really true that the best things in life are free, why the hell did it take so long for two grown men to find their fortune? After a long needed sleep for recuperation while the last true expression of male bonding remained much like a part of my own anatomy, Jim and I decided to shower separately for reasons needing no explanations before going out for whatever meal we might choose to call it. While that mutually agreed act was another example of true male bonding, the visit to the hotel restaurant became that first test of a man's true devotion to another man. Much like Jim had already described as a major problem while his growing up with the many comments about his mature body at a young age and more a nuisance with other males noting the more advanced growth of his male identifying genitalia, I seemed more resentful than Jim when a waiter asked if he was a body builder instructor or a star in a recently released movie about the world's most perfectly built men. But refusing to permit any hint of jealousy or any other sign of selfishness get in the way of an otherwise perfect union known as male bonding, I chose to change the subject rather to dwell on any distracting deviations. The restaurant coffee matched the wine in perfection as did the homemade rolls far exceed the quality of a commercial bakery. But it was when Jim needed to visit the men's room while I did not feel the need that I was forced to decide between going with him and faking it or try to remain composed and wait at the table. Finally, a combination of curiosity and that damnable innate male trait of jealousy had me in the men's room and standing at the urinal immediately beside the one where Jim was sanding with his pants and boxer underwear down below his knees while that same waiter stood close by as if waiting to use the same urinal once Jim had finished. The games some men try to play, I was saying to myself as I gave the young waiter a frown instead of any hint of a smile as I made my way next to Jim and began to drop my pants and boxer underwear the same as he had done with his. Was it somewhat like a public place like a steam room at a gym and chancing that no other man might come in or wanting to touch another man on his private parts when first meeting on a public street sidewalk? Unable to control myself longer, as soon as the waiter left the men's room, I dropped to my knees and not to retrieve any lost wallet. Any personal feelings of absurdity or admitting a lack of self-control fled with the first sign of acceptance from Jim as if nothing atypical was taking place. Then immediately after Jim served me the treat I was seeking, both of us composed ourselves, washed our hands at the lavatory, and went back to our seats as if nothing more than usual had ever taken place. Do tell, Grandpa; is this what you meant when you told me, "a man's gotta do what I man's gotta do?" Once on the way back home and denying myself another opportunity to reach the very short distance between where Jim was seated and where I sat to drive, we did arrive safely and fully clothed until we were back inside the house. It was like newlyweds making love and having sex all over the place, including window facings, tabletops, and one can't sit on a commode seat or shower without the other's close presence! While sex remained an obsession, that very deep and never to change bonding between two compatible men was that innate special male humane mental attribute that persuaded us to allow time for considering other important issues. A sinking sun signaled the close of another day, Sunday, with Monday and needing to return to work the following morning more than suggested the need for retiring earlier for the night as well as using more of the time in bed for demanding rest and sleep. Not sharing the same bed would be less a mutual agreement than Jim's permitting me to save time by skipping breakfast when he is very capable for creating a meal from past experience as a part-time job at a diner while a student in high school and as a bachelor living alone after the deaths of his parents. But it was when we two agreed to go to bed shortly after a small snack and a glass of milk to compensate for the excessive calories consumed at the hotel buffet feast that one more truth about Jim surfaced at the same moment I felt ready to share my body with his. The stumbling and the many hesitations were signs that Jim both wanted to tell me something but also was undecided as to how much or was this the proper time. While we attempted to discuss his driving his car to work with me to enable him to explore a possible job at the place where I was already employed, our lying very close in bed and head-to-head became like army sleeping regulation with a man's having to sleep in the opposite direction to the man near his bed, head to feet and feet to head. Worse than trying to talk or laugh with food or drink in the mouth, when both of us reacted instantaneously with the fruits of love in each other's throats, issues relating to Jim's finding employment seemed as unimportant as what he might wear to make a good impression at the job interview. But since this instantaneous reaction was that sleeping pill that ended any further chances for sharing ideas about Jim's employment, I hoped the alarm clock would awaked me on Monday morning in time to make it to work on time and hopefully a chance for Jim to get ready to accompany me there. The necessities that must go with life and living must include things like a source for making a living, housing, food, transportation, utilities, taxes and more taxes, with pleasures like sexual relief at the end of the unending list, we two were still faced with the first one regarding Jim's present status. Jim's interview ended before my first break to discover that his car was no longer parked in the company garage. Did that mean he got the job and went for a change of clothes before starting it? Did he fail to get a job and got lost in disappointment by returning to the same spot where we first met? I had reservations with my inquiring at the employment office or asking another employee more acquainted with company hiring procedures and/or practices than I am? For once in a very long time, I decided to try and make it home and back for lunch instead of the usual company cafeteria. Jim's car was parked to the same spot he left it when I left the house a few seconds before he followed closely behind to avoid getting lost in an unfamiliar town. But once I had parked and make my way inside, the place seemed as empty as it did before Jim agreed to move in. Had he cast his pearls among swine with me as a greedy pig? Had he decided to end it all like his mother before him? After desperately searching throughout the place, checking every room, the basement, the less frequently used den and back room used for storage in the absence of an attic, I was ready to give up, skip lunch, and prepare to return to work on time. That was the moment when while enjoying modern conveniences, the noises that can produces makes a man willing to do without them. As soon as the air conditioner went off when the house reached the temperature set on the thermostat, that enabled me to hear the falling water in the shower down in the guest room where Jim decided to pass on with his desire to sleep with me. There was not enough time remaining before I had to be back at work for asking how his job interview went, telling where he could locate something for his own lunch, or saying hello and a quick goodbye while allowing sufficient time to get through heavy traffic and back on the job in the one hours allotted for lunch break. In spite of all odds and risking a chance to remain a few minutes more, my selfish and always inquisitive nature persuaded me to open the bathroom door in hopes of finding Jim totally nude again. Think of all the times when a man is tempted to call in to work and claim he is too ill to come in when in reality he has better things in mind than working all day. The fact that Jim as if he was back at the gym that had no door, this time in the shower he failed to close the door to the shower here at the house while he was using it presented less concern for a need to clean up the bathroom later than this one more opportunity to see Jim full naked again and this time sporting an erection that only he might know why. No, I did not call in to say that some unavoidable circumstance like an accident with my car, finding the house on fire when I arrived home for lunch although the temptations was trying to persuade against my better judgement. After I managed to tear myself away from this very tempting scene, my greater problem upon returning to work would be to try and explain why the erection in the crotch of my pants. At this stage of meeting that man created for true male bonding, managing to go back to work while leaving Jim behind is like giving a woman only a tube of her less than favorite lipstick when she is getting ready to attend a celebrity ball! The four hours remaining compared to a little boy's impatience while waiting for Santa to come. But worse than that before my work day finally ended, everything I had ever wanted for any birthday, holiday celebration, or big meal at Thanksgiving was already only an hour's drive away and waiting at my house for me to return. First complaint was the unavoidable heavy traffic making an hour's drive stretch into close to two. A friend at work needing a ride home and that taking me out of my usual way added more reasons why I couldn't make it home fast enough. Add to that, most of the traffic lights on red when I approached an intersection, having to stop three times to let emergency vehicles have the right of way, and now not seeing Jim's car when I pulled into the drive at home. However, after forcing myself not to jump to conclusions again, I waited until I was inside, stripped down to my boxer underwear shorts again and comfortable before deciding what to do next. Leaving all my clothes behind in the bedroom and using the bath on the hall before finding my way to the kitchen for something to drink, the note Jim left on the bathroom mirror did explain that his car was being serviced, but it failed to account for his absence. That's the one moment in all my twenty-eight years when I was forced to accept things like true devotions like male bonding will never suffer defeat regardless of any outside influences. How Jim knew the date of my birthday seemed less important than the way he chose for celebrating it. Regardless of what past training and/or experience he might have had as a cook, Jim was too busy with trying to bake a cake for my birthday that he failed to see me or to hear when I came in. While watching every movement that was more like a lost drunk naked man searching for his lost clothes than any cook or chef at any sort of eating establishment. When he bent to retrieve a dropped item off the floor, one of my hands went for his balls, while my other supported my weights as I rimmed his most inviting hair-encircles glory hole. Then like rushing to the oven thinking that the cake had fallen are ready to burn up, when Jim turned around facing me, instantly, I began to swallow the better than any ingredient for making any damn cake! The only reason I took my mouth away is when Jim began to move as if he needed to do one more thing about baking the cake and I began tasting more than the familiar manliness of his true male identity and bonding mechanism. That's when Jim chuckled and the same time I was forced to laugh. In the hurry between getting his car in for servicing, finding a ride back home, and trying to get my birthday cake finished before got home, he had dropped some of the chocolate icing and trying to locate it on the floor to clean it up before I got home. In the process, he had dropped some of it on himself rather than all of it to the floor. In other words some had landed on the head of his penis since it was now most evident that he prefers cooking in the nude as well as staying that when inside a proper place for taking that freedom. Beneath the unavoidable laughter, I was thinking that if his cake with the chocolate frosting tasted anywhere close to this indescribable added gourmet delicacy of his natural ingredient, we two could forget about usual and typical jobs and open our own Male Bonding Bakery! Jim called to learn when his car would be ready for pickup. And since the news from that phone call meant that he had a couple of hours to relax before leaving to pick it up, it also meant that I was free, thinking that Jim assumed that I would drive him there to get it. First that landed us two back in the familiar bed for celebrating my birthday before cutting his homemade cake. While Jim lighted another giant candle up my toaster oven, one to replace the number of smaller ones representing the years I just turned in age, I was still craving that special chocolate-covered head on his natural tasty dessert. Instead of "you can't have your cake and eat it, too," it was "what goes around comes around," when I turned off my oven with his cake still inside while proving to Jim that I was a better chef. Call it stirring up batter, beating eggs before adding to the other ingredients, or shoving it into the oven before it's ready or before the oven has reached the proper temperature. Entering his dark tunnel was as easy as finding him naked in the shower with the door standing open when I came home for lunch. His reactions were like our discovering the icing that failed to reach the cake. That part of him devoured all I could manage to produce. But the moment Jim sensed that I had completed my business inside him, it was like party games when he tossed me around like no more than a box of confection sugar and became winner of the prize for being first to pin the tail on the donkey. From the toil and aggravation with my day on the job demanded a little rest before taking him to pick up his car, Jim was out like the short lasting lighted candle on the birthday cake when the one celebrating his birthday gets a chance to blow all of them out with one try. As if settling in for the night after hours of entertainment before falling asleep all that awakened two well-bonded men was another ring from the phone. One more outside interference, but like so many necessary others, we had no choice but to get out of bed, dress, and drive to pick up Jim's car. Part IV - It Doesn't Take Columbus to Discover a New World I waited outside while Jim went in to pay the bill for the service and for him to come back out driving his car while I would drive behind him on the way home or he chose to follow me. Here Jim came behind the wheel and ready to move. But instead of the same used car he took in, his was driving a new one as if he owned it. While my first idea that his car was not ready for pickup so they let Jim use one at the dealer while he waited for his own to be serviced, the way the salesman kept waving and smiling as we two drove away said otherwise. I followed closely behind as Jim led the way, even tough I wasn't sure that he had learned his way around yet in a town new to him. Not only did he prove me wrong with that assumption, I stopped when he did and that was at a very famous and expensive restaurant, one that I carefully avoided because of my limited salary. Once inside and seated, pouring over the menu and trying to decide what to order, over a cup of hot gourmet coffee, Jim began to explain about his new car before I felt at liberty to inquire. But how was I to know upon learning Jim's feeling free to share more of the personal things about him that the story to follow was a blend of true confessions, his attitude about working at the same location as I do, plus a few things many men do not care to share? Jim began with the boss's office where most employee/management disputes are settled. While I already knew that the only female employee is the butch-type who serves as receptionist immediately outside the boss's small cubicle with one desk, one chair for the complainant, plus the pretentious family photo near the back of the desk and close to that wall, and door that was always closed and locked during these disputes. I was finding out why Jim kept advancing at the plant without the supporting performance rating and in record time before his true confession included his frequent trips to Mr. Dupe's private office. But after looking around the restaurant's dinning area to make sure no one else might hear, when Jim chose not to omit many of the very detailed descriptions of Mr. Dupe's expressions of appreciation for a job well done, a hint of jealousy got in my way as an attentive audience when my knee moved under the table separating him from me with a gentle touch to his now swelled crotch. So what? I assured myself. How many men find themselves playing around off the screen while watching a dramatic X-rated movie in a dark theater up on the silver background? And before the waiter arrived to take our order, in walked the boss, himself and asked if Jim and I would like to share his table in one of the restaurant's private rooms. While both Jim and I ordered the same smallest and less fattening item on the menu, the big boss was looking for a double serving not listed on the menu. Perhaps in the past Mr. Dupe had insisted upon interviewing one man at a time, procedures changed quickly when he was enjoying his favorite entree before the orders arrived and his choices were between the legs of two of his favorite employees. I sensed no resentment or other atypical emotions from myself while Jim's reaction appeared void of any sign of commitment and surely nothing in common with true male bonding. Perhaps it was the very different feeling of two in one receptacle at the same time that prevented any negation. But when Jim and I presented at the same time this special favor to our sexually insatiable boss, he was enjoying the rise in his own crotch as much as the one in pay we two probably could expect to follow. As soon as Mr. Dupe returned from the men's room for other than the usual purpose both Jim and I agreed, the rest of the meal went very close to normal, and there was neither any discussion of the latex manufacturing business nor any of its employees. As soon and we were ready to leave and waiting for the boss to pay the bill, he handed a handsome tip to the waiter and added, "I hope to see you two men again soon either here at this fine restaurant or in my office at the same time!" It was then upon leaving the place and telling Mr. Dupe good bye, when Jim suggested that we find a more private place before he shared more of his adventures during his very short career at Dupe's Protective Prophylactics. And since the mutual agreement landed us back at the house we share, what better area for discussion than the total feel of a freedom than only nudity can provide along with the complete privacy alone in the same bed! Jim shared his experiences in Mr. Dupe's office while I took my share of his better source for communicating below. And with every chance I could work in with my own encounters alone with Mr. Dupe in his private office, Jim picked up my conversation the same way I did with his. And if that failed in any way to pave an excuse for sharing other man-to-man sexual encounters before Jim and I met the first time, we two were still missing no intimate details when we both succumbed to deep sleep. Deep where I dare not share! Part V - Similar Backgrounds Give Impetus to Present True Male Bonding That day when Jim was already home when I arrived from work was not only another turning point in our shared lives, it was the time Jim chose to share a very special very likely part of a future we two were probably to share from that day on. I had already seen the envelope addressed to Jim that arrived in the mail a day earlier. Since a lack of any curiosity or ever before felt a need for meddling into another man's personal business, I left it on the table beside the entrance door the same as Jim and I always did with the other's personal mail. And to be honest, especially with myself, I couldn't help but notice the return address on this particular one. However, this time home after a day at work was very different from all the past ones when Jim failed to welcome me home since he arrived home before I did. And rather than me making up for that intimacy by reversing roles with my touching Jim in all the erogenous places, I had to wait sine Jim was now holding that same envelope but now open and the contents he chose to share with me not out yet. "Rather than shocking you with what I thought you might think as bad news first," Jim began, "by stating that I quit my job today," and I continued to wait as impatiently as did Jim seem anxious to share his other news. "I must share this with you." That's all he said before starting to read from the pages he pulled from the envelope that arrived in yesterday's mail. A close to perfect specimen of a real man, standing near me in the complete nude, the man I had shared my life with for more than three months, and the one who shared a dinner with our boss and secrets about our visits in his private office ready to share the greatest secret of his life when I could not concentrate on his reading for staying glued to certain body features of the reader. Perhaps "you can't have your cake and eat it, too" might be better stated now as a complete opposite of any truth to, "two many cooks spoil the broth!" But since suspense on my part was matching the determination for Jim to share more than his body with me, I did manage to listen without dropping to my knees to worship the oral presenter. "After many years that date back to the time when I was only a boy at ten years of age, finally here comes the good news I have been waiting for more than eighteen long years." Jim paused long enough for me to calculate his age I never learned before, twenty-eight, the indescribable and exhilarating thrill of my love for mature men caused any anxiety for the news he tried to share with me far less important than learning some more very appealing facts about his personal anatomical very masculine self! Jim was the older brother I never had, the dad that died at a time when I needed a father image more than ever before in my entire life, and now a definitely bonded life-long male friend. Add to that a physically perfect male anatomy, the absolute and undeniable appendage identifying him as a mature man, the only thing that could lend any negation to Jim's deciding to quit his job and stay home was that he was in no position to walk away from mine or Mr. Dupe's private session in his private office, with the many fringe benefits that entails. "After years if negotiating between lawyers, politicians, and insurance company claims adjusters," and Jim paused before adding, "and can you believe? I won!" I had felt like a winner since the day Jim and I just happened to meet and that led to his moving in with me. If he chose to stay home while I worked and had this place more conducive to giving a perfect male bonding any more impetus, I had always managed well on my own income and realized no big difference since Jim moved in. But at the moment material wealth demanded consideration for him than the better things that go with a great living mean for to me, the least I could do was to be patent and hear him out. One insurance company was forced to pay for the suicidal death of Jim's mother. Since murder of a spouse was not permitted as legitimate cause in a case in court, another insurer was forced to pay the benefits stated on his dad's life insurance policy. The house where Jim lived until he was forced to move out and live with a relative until the case in court was completely settled, making an increase in real estate value and the monetary funds from its sale made payable to Jim. I had never been materialistic before, never placed simple pleasure above true love, and for sure never, never confusing anything evidentially authentic with false impressions, fake pretensions, or dressing like a real man when there's little proof under the outside costume. But Jim seemed determined to continue to share with adding the sum of each settlement until the amount exceeded the value of my home and car when both were new. Then the figures exceeded more than the cost for a special resort home just for the two of us and/or loners on some remote island without the worries that accompany so-called civilized living in an established town. Jim dreamed. I tried to remain practical. Jim took his clothes off to relax while weighing the many possibilities. And I was still observing the many benefits we already have with the better ones very close by. Why should a man wait for opportunity to knock at his door when it has already moved in months ago? I had a few more months to work before I might realize any appreciable retirement income. Jim no longer needed to work for a living. So, if we two had no problems with bonding upon first meeting, why change anything, including where to live, refuse to wait a little longer before making any crucial decisions, or doing anything different that might alter in any way what seems to be a perfect example of real male bonding? While my general disposition had me performing with a behavior usually associated with a more mature man, Jim seemed to stay busy with counting his material blessing while I remained devoted to the superior natural satisfactions of daily living with him. Suggesting that a shared shower might be that one thing to help bring us two back to reality, Jim's immediate agreement suggested that he had more in mind than material wealth, moving out any time soon, or persuading me to change my mind about staying on longer with my job. "Judge no man by the way he looks" went out of style shortly after the self-claimed philosopher stated it. Evidently that hermit replica of a Plato or Nostradamus had never before seen a man like Jim in the nude. "Give and take" is often suggested advice for newlyweds. But if Jim could just understand that it was not his material assets I needed but the ones that had materialized into much better natural assets over the years. Were we two planing a honeymoon to consummate this true male bonding? There's better honey than in a bee's comb and two moons rising at the same time and location beats the hell out of a trip to a distance pretentious paradise where real devotion is tested with artificial infatuations! Part V- The Day the Sun Came Up but Two Bonded Men Failed to Rise Early Now that Jim had quit his job and I had a few month remaining before I could make the same decision, Jim asked if I could get off for a few days to help him move his things from Anniston, Alabama to the house we now share in Grand Nirvana Hills, Mississippi. Partial inventory: [1) An upright piano, 2) a large private library with all the works of Shakespeare, 3) a family-centered and travel photographs from before Jim was born up until shortly before he left Alabama in search for what he claimed a better job opportunity when deep down, like myself, he was seeking a real male bonding, 4) and everything from his first pair of outdoor shoes, his first jock strap for physical education at school, and a secret strongbox that belonged to his dad he found when the old home was being readied for sale. (Jim's greater assets)