Date: Wed, 07 Jul 2004 22:21:56 -0400 From: Toby Barnum Subject: Ya Can't Get There From Here - 2 If you're annoyed by scrolling with your hands full, the sex is in parts 3 and 5. If you want to get the whole story, start here. Either way, I hope you enjoy. *************** PART 1 *************** Over the years the place had changed. They had moved the entrance and added a few more buildings, but the antiseptic odor and big overhead light brought him right back to his childhood. Todd's memories were good ones. He thought it was like coming home as he lifted his ass from the gurney to the table. He wasn't anxious, just curious and a little chilly. He'd been through enough surgery to know that he was supposed to be out of it by now. But he wasn't. He wanted to join the laughter that had stopped when the wheels on his gurney pushed through the double doors. By the time his doctor popped in a few moments later, he was ready to start some fun of his own. "Now Todd, remember what I told you in the office. This is a piece of cake. We're going to fix some of the muscles in your leg so you'll be walking around again. OK?" Todd nodded. He knew all that shit. Why was this guy treating him like a retard? Todd worked hard to maintain an attitude of fierce independence and any hint of condescension usually got a reaction. Unaware that he had entered the danger zone, the surgeon continued. "Todd, this is Dr. Wong. He's gonna put you to sleep and watch out for you during the operation." The amusement in Todd's eyes was the only thing that gave him away as he put on what he considered to be one of his finest "innocent" looks. "Dr. McGreggor, is this the guy you were talking about when you asked the nurse outside if they gave you the same goddamn incompetent gas passer you always got?." Wong burst out laughing with the rest of the room. "Busted, Shawn. You owe me big time for that one!" "Shut-up Mike, you're upsetting the patient." "Shawn, that quivering patient of yours has it together enough to dump all over you. You just don't want to admit you're no match for this guy even with his arms strapped down. You're losin' it, buddy." Todd worked a hand loose and attempted an uncoordinated high five. Shawn squeezed his shoulder, mustered as much dignity as he could under the circumstances and made for the door. Wong promised that Todd wouldn't remember any of it when he woke up. Shawn secretly hoped he would. This kid could use anything that came his way to brighten up his world. The drive back from Maine had been uneventful. In fact it was downright boring. Shawn was already missing the companionship and easy familiarity he found there. He had never made a connection between his marriage and Virginia Woolf. Now comparing it to the way he felt with Mark, he concluded that his efforts with Marsha had been a lifelong drain. He had a better use for the energy. Both Shawn and Mark knew they wanted to continue what they started. But not forcing it was important. Shawn sighed. That meant a return to his home and practice. "Shawn, we're ready for you now." Shawn automatically cleared his mind as he backed through the swinging door and prepared to begin. As he was slipping into his gloves, he turned to his resident. "Gary, would you fill us in on what's goin' on here with Todd?" Gary began, using the highly stylized form familiar to every first year med. "Todd is a 29 yr old white semi-invalid male who first presented...." The resident continued listing the specifics of Todd's condition and what Shawn planned to do about it. When he had finished, Shawn summed it up. "In other words, this guy hasn't been able to walk well since he was a little boy and we're gonna fix that. Any questions?" Shawn liked a relaxed atmosphere with his team and encouraged questions. That fact along with his reputation for succeeding where others had failed drew students to his cases. A 1st year resident spoke. "But, doctor, I've read the history. Isn't he gonna need a lot more work before he'll be able to get to independent living?" "Yes, Julie, he will. A whole lot. The plastics people are going to do their part and even the neuro boys are gonna get a crack at it. After that it'll be up to the physical therapists." "Neuro 'boys', doctor?" Julie's tone bore all the earmarks of a Marsha clone. Sean found himself remembering that Marsha had been surprisingly quick to agree that they go their separate ways when he returned. She had been named managing partner in her law practice the previous week and Shawn's absence from the scene confirmed her preference for complete independence. Shawn stayed for a few weeks to work out the details then moved to his own place before Thanksgiving. Since they were both over 18, the boys could make their own choices as to where to spend their vacation time. It was all very civilized and logical, like his entire married life. The sound of a pneumatic stocking inflating on Todd's leg brought Shawn back to the present and he grinned. "Yup, that's me. Nothing like a little male chauvinism from a Neanderthal misogynist to spice up the last case before Christmas Eve." Shawn's humor helped relieve the tension and the team got down to work. Shawn finished the procedure by 10:00 a.m., discharged a few patients for the holiday and headed for the office. He planned to wrap things up so he could arrive in Bangor by nightfall. He would spend the night there and get a fresh start early Christmas Eve for the rest of the trip. There was little to keep him in New York over the holidays. The boys were traveling with buddies and Marsha had her own plans. His partners' willingness to cover gave him a few extra days to be with Mark. Shawn was not satisfied with Ma Bell's idea of "reach out and touch". He wanted the real thing. This Christmas he decided to give Mark what he himself wanted most in return: his presence, companionship, affection - and a little surprise. *************** PART 2 *************** Mark spent the entire week getting ready to celebrate Christmas with Shawn. He hadn't really paid much attention to the holiday since Toby died. Now things were different. He tuned into a station that promised carols for the next 24 hrs and started hanging the roping. He began there so the smell of pine would have time to spread through the cabin before Shawn showed up. He prepared popcorn and berries for stringing into garlands and placed fat wax candles in all the windows. He was going all out to put together Christmas in the woods. Shawn was supposed to get in by noon to help him finish it up. By the time Shawn had reached Millinocket he was grateful for 4-wheel drive. Snow had been falling since I-95 and the accumulation was piling up. As he turned onto the final dirt road, Shawn breathed a sigh of relief when the announcer's voice interrupted Eminem's rendition of White Christmas. Seems there was a winter storm brewing in the area. Out the window, however, he saw that the local wind had slacked. Mammoth flakes were floating down instead of being driven into his windshield. The break in the white monotony allowed him to appreciate the wall of evergreens on either side of the road. Gaps in the trees revealed a fairyland dotted with blotches of grey and brown, little ponds and tiny rushes of water. Small clearings showed stray fir branches where the powder had piled up so carefully the height defied gravity. When the lodge came into view, it took Shawn's breath away. He was looking at a Stephen Lyman print. Clouds and snowfall had softened the blue-violet spectrum of a December morning into a lush moonscape. The smoke curling out of the chimney, the snow dusted logs and the more than yellow light from the windows displayed themselves with the vivid unreality of time-lapse photography. When he drew close enough to see the candles in the windows, he half expected an apple cheeked, snowy bearded Mark to appear in a homespun fur trimmed robe cinched at the waist with a rope. Santa Bear. After he reached the small lot, he parked his truck, grabbed his stuff and went to the door which was already in the process of being flung open wide. This particular Santa Bear looked like he just stepped out of Cabela's outfitters rather than a suburban mall. Shawn settled into the six feet four inches of wooly embrace that enveloped him and surrendered to its offer of warmth. 'Bout time ya got here. Work's almost done." He looked at his watch. "Same time ya got your butt outta bed your first day here." "Fuck you Hick Boy! For your information, there's a major storm blowing out there." "Major storm, my ass! If them flakes don't hurry up, they're not gonna hit the ground 'till summer." "I suppose that breathtaking demonstration of your mastery of meteorology comes straight from the creaks in your ancient joints, old man?" Mark slid into his "country hick" drawl. "Why, I'm pow'rful surprised, you bein' a man of science and all, to see ya putting any faith in them thar old wives tales. This here's a modern town, boy. We get gen-u-yne pree-dic-shuns from those smart fellers in the city." He paused . "Then we ignore em 'cause they're usually dead wrong....... Boy am I ever glad to see you. Let me look at ya." They both sat down on the couch to enjoy the warmth of the huge fire and their friendship. This was brandy weather and Mark was no miser in that area. They wasted time together with the prodigality of schoolboys on a Friday afternoon, sharing the recent details of their lives. Somewhere during the conversation Mark held up his hand. "There's something I haven't told you about yet, I wanted to save it 'till you got here." With that he stood, walked over to his room and opened the door. "Let me introduce you to my new partner, Wolf." Out bounded 180 pounds of shaggy coal black Newfoundland Retriever. He held his tail high as his nose took samples of the new object in his living room. The animal picked up on Mark's trust and immediately accepted Shaw as part of his new pack. He snorted, rubbed himself against Shawn and ran a snout underneath Shawn's hand until it rested between his ears. When Shawn took the hint and began stroking the animal's fur, Wolf sat down and chuffed out his approval. "Hmm", Shawn grinned. "No wonder he likes you. You're two of a kind. Don't leave a person in any doubt about what you want." "We only do that with city folk". Mark grinned back. "Seems to work, too! Now will you let me finish my story? "I ran into him a month ago when I went out back for wood. He was hanging around and followed me back to the door. He looked kind of hungry, so I took him inside and fed him. "After dinner he curled up at my feet and went to sleep. The way he kept looking at me, I didn't have the heart to put him back out in the cold. The only I.D. he had on him was a nametag, so I contacted the sheriff, local animal shelters and vets to get his picture out to folks in the area. Till somebody else comes to claim him, this is his home. "I wanted to make it a good Christmas for him so I picked up a few things." Mark pointed to a 4 foot pyramid of packages in the corner. At that particular moment, Shawn found himself overwhelmed by the appearance of his own shaggy dog. Mark and the dog both had the same combination of brute strength and warm eyes. "Ha - this dog's no fool. Got a good nose for character." Shawn made a show of sniffing Mark's arm. When he reached his shoulder, Mark lifted his chin and the warmth of his gaze drove out winter. Shawn buried his face in the smell of home. They held on to one another in the soft December morning light that competed with the fire and the silent snowfall. With a sudden burst of energy, Mark disentangled himself and stretched. "Up and at 'em city boy, your decorators from Macy's couldn't fit me in this year. It's up to you and me to finish making this place look like Christmas. And for that we gotta go outside and get ourselves a tree." "Hey Moose, since when did a good ol' mountain boy take to decorating?" "Since a certain wet-behind-the-ears street kid became a fugitive from the city, Slick. Things are different this year." He looked at Wolf. "I got family responsibilities. And ..." he grinned at Shawn "I finally got a kid my own size to play with." "Didn't your mama ever tell you, ya can't tell the size of the present by squeezing the package?" "Just call me Mr. Whipple. Anyway, who needs to know from decorating. It's Christmas. You can get as schmaltzy as ya like and yer friends put up with it. "Sasquatch, you still got friends?" "Cum'on Wolf, I think you just got insulted." As they bundled up, Mark explained that they were going out to cut down a tree that he has seen a few days ago. They walked side by side, brushing up against each other while Wolf hopped through the drifts ahead of them occasionally lowering his muzzle and flipping snow into the air. When they got too far behind, Wolf would turn and run circles around them trying to move them along. "I think he's part Border Collie" observed Mark when they stopped in front of a tree. "This it?" "Uh-Huh." "It's fuckin' perfect!" "As I recall, you do much better in that department." "Not only are you dyslexic, Moose, you're a fuckin' pree-vert! Nothing you can say is gonna spoil this. I usta dream about going out and doing this when I was a kid." "You dreamt about meeting dyslexic pervs in the woods when you were a kid? Slick, your nanny musta read to you from "Grimm's Weird Fairy Tales" during your misspent youth. "My favorite was always the Big Horned Wolf. Come to think of it, still is. And my youth wasn't misspent, just unoccupied." Mark's eyes softened and his expression looked like Wolf's. "I know, buddy. This Christmas we're gonna do every goddamn thing you never got to do, and I'm gonna be right next t' ya every step of the way. God, I love you so much it fuckin' hurts inside. I'm soo glad you're here, buddy. I been missin you." "Every fuckin' day, Mark. All day. All night. I never stopped thinking about you. Not once. Thinking about you and that fuck-it-all grin of yours is what got me through everything." "Was it tough, man, breaking up housekeeping after all these years?" "Not really, buddy. Marsha and I are still friends, probably better now. After last October home wasn't an address any more. It took on the shape of a 6'4" grizzly that answers to the name of Mark." Mark's brows, beard and stache were glistening with flakes as they embraced. Shawn and Mark spent the remainder of the afternoon and early evening trimming the tree with strings of berries and popcorn, along with apples and pears. Mark's only exceptions to home-made were the tiny multicolored lights they hid in its branches. Mark checked the oven every now and then to keep tabs on the turkey whose roasting provided an omnipresent olfactory overload. During breaks they warmed themselves with mugs of steaming coffee spiked with brandy. Outside a Nor'easter was blanketing the mountainside. As dinnertime got closer, the smell of fresh bread baking filled the lodge and Wolf collapsed in a puddle of saliva next to the oven. At last everything was ready. Candles burned in the windows, oil lamps shone from the walls, and a fire warmed the hearth. The radio playing in the background kept good it's 24 hr promise as dinner was served. There was adoration in his eyes when Wolf was presented with his own heaping plate. Man and beast alike settled in and began to feast. *************** PART 3 *************** After dinner, Wolf celebrated the ultimate in canine contentment by joining the other members of his family for a snooze in front of the fire. It was midnight when Shawn woke. As he got up to add another log, Mark opened his eyes and stretched. "Think Santa came already?" "Dunno about him, but I sure as hell hope you're still holdin it" grinned Shawn. "Ahem, I have a little surprise in that department." "Oh?" "It's kinda what I got you for Christmas." "You went and had it wrapped? Customer service up here sure beats what we get in the city." "No, horn-dog, better than that" "What could be better than that?" Mark put a finger to his lips. "Trust me." Mark walked over to Shawn and began to disrobe him. Off came the wool shirt followed by the jeans and t-shirt. Shawn felt rough hewn hands move over him. Mark left him standing in a pair of boxers that were inadequate to hide his growing interest. "Your turn." Shawn reciprocated taking it slowly, caressing each part of Mark's body until they were identically clothed. "Looks like we haven't lost our locker room etiquette" Shawn smiled pointing at the boxers. "I get hot starin' at you in your underwear. Doesn't look like it's getting in the way of anything - yet" Mark replied. They stood for a moment to admire each other surrounded by icons of the season. The hearth, the tree twinkling with lights, candles burning in front of frosted panes, it was a scene from Currier and Ives. Or would have been had those two guys ever gotten around to porn. They moved together and embraced. Shawn stepped back, reached inside and drew Mark out through his shorts. At its tip Mark's dick had a crystal bead sparkling red in the firelight just like an ornament. The slit in Shawn's boxers was almost too small for Mark's hand, but he managed to get Shawn out into the open. He slid Shawn's skin back to moisten his head. They took up their favorite position inside Mark's hood and got comfortable. Held together by Mark's beefy paw, they slid around pleasuring one another while their mouths touched until each man gave himself up to white hot desire. Mark took Shawn's hand and husked "Follow me". When they arrived at the back door, Shawn stopped. "I don't recall filling out an application for the polar bear club." "Just shut up and look outside." Shawn followed a pointing finger and saw a bubbling hot tub with steam rising above the snow. "I had it installed last week as a surprise for when you came up. With the weather and all I was afraid they wouldn't get it finished in time." "A hunting lodge with a hot tub. What are your regulars gonna think?" "I'm gonna change the name to Mark's Hunting Spa and Bait Boutique. Then I'm gonna triple the rates." "That ought to go over big time with the red necks" "Hey, watch it with the 'red neck', Slick." "Sorry Moose, I lost my head there. Refined red neck! - better?" "Much." They discarded their shorts, opened the door, ran and leapt into the tub sinking beneath the frothing waters. The sensation was incredible, crisp flinty air against the steaming bubbling water. The storm had passed and night was etched in frozen crystal over the forest. Wispy clouds relinquished the sky to the icy brilliance of stars. Mark turned to face Shawn. Like dolphins they slid over one another, their touches feather light with buoyancy. Stiff organs and sacs, floating with unaccustomed ease, teased each other in their own private ocean. They played, unsheathing each other in the surf. They touched and held, their bodies musky and warm. Like returning travelers, each revisited his favorite spot on the other's landscape and probed its depths. Need drew them together in the swirling water as they sought a union that physics denied them. Mouth pressed to mouth, tongue mating with tongue, chests compressed by encircling arms, their hips slid against one another in a Bolero rhythm. They whirled around each other's rising pleasure submitting with sweaty abandon. Just before the brass burst into the wild beat to signal the finale, Shawn drew back his head and whispered "My god I love you." Like salmon arriving at the apex of their journey, they released their sperm into the roiling water and rested. They allowed the water to flow over their bodies reviving them, bringing them back to awareness. "Let's continue this inside." *************** PART 4 *************** Back in the warmth of the firelight, they toweled one another. Wolf made amends for his initial sulk at being left inside by enthusiastically licking the water from their legs and feet. After roughing his fur, Mark led him to one of the vacant rooms and closed the door. "I don't want to embarrass him. After all he is from Maine. I think he's Presbyterian." They both stretched out in front of the fire, secure enough in one another's presence to remain silent for awhile. Then Shawn drew himself up on one elbow. "Hey Moose breath" "That's what I missed the most these past few weeks, the tender endearments." "Ok, Ok, so I saw the antlers and jumped to conclusions." Mark's large paw slid into the brush on Shawn's chest. "I wanna tell you about what I hope is a Christmas present." "You hope?" "Yeah. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it so I figured I'd ask first." "Shoot" "How would you feel about my opening a small clinic down the road from here?" "I'd bust something on purpose just to get in." "Hold on to that thought for later." Mark ignored the comment and pulled Shawn's head over to rest against his chest and encircled him with a paw. "You sure about this? I know I want you bad, but isn't it kinda soon to make such a big change in your life. It's not that having you close wouldn't make me onna the happiest guys in the world. I'm just scared that you'll regret it after doin all that work." "If I go ahead with this, it's gonna take a lot of planning and time before I make the move, so I wouldn't be rushing into it. I've been thinking about doing something like this for a number of years now. I'm not really happy with what I have to do to practice medicine in the city." Again, Shawn found it really easy to unload everything with Mark. He was like an older brother and best buddy all rolled up into one. He poured out his disillusionment and his hopes. Mark listened with a critical ear helping him test his plans against reality. "Mark, I'm certified in trauma and reconstructive surgery. I figure on a small trauma clinic. I think I can interest some of the local talent to help staff it. Besides offering services to the communities around here, we should be able to make ends meet with business from the hunting, hiking and skiing crowd in the wider area. I could still consult at the University Medical Center to keep my hand in, and probably provide a practicum for residents who either like the outdoors or plan to be ski bums." "Sounds like you got all angles covered, Slick. So when ya movin up?" "Actually I couldn't manage anything until a year from now at the earliest. Before I get into that, though, I need to get a local bear permit." "Bear permit?" "Permit from the bear I'm lying on. How do you feel about this?" Although he masked it with humor, Shawn had never put himself on the line like this for anyone before. His heart was pounding as he waited to hear what Mark would say. "Buddy, I got everything I ever wanted for Christmas and every other holiday on a mountain last October. I let you become a part of me. My life has never been happier. Wherever you go, I want to be with you, I want to help you, care for you and let you care for me. I want to let you in to see all of me, even my rough edges." "'till death do us part?" "I want to be with you even after that, buddy, even then." *************** PART 5 *************** As they moved to close the gap between them Mark spoke. "I got myself checked out. No STD's and I haven't been with anything but my hand for over ten years." "Same here. Everything's negative. Last time Marsha and I had sex was before Josh came along. Other than you, there hasn't been anybody else." "Great, 'cause I want to feel what you're like with nothing in between." Looking at Mark reflected in the red of the firelight, Shawn got playful. "Tonto, Kemosabe want red dick." "You got it, paleface" They came together now with a sense of familiarity as well as desire. They were slower, having shed the urgency they felt outside. This time it was not so much exploration as retracing favorite lines on a sculpture. They grew thick with musk and slick with excitement. This drug combination, concentrated oil of male, began to have potent effects. Measured breathing gave way to shallow panting. Urgent growls of rutting animals forced their way through tense vocal cords. "Me this time" escaped from Shawn as he lay on his back. Mark took himself in hand figuratively and literally. Tenderness broke through lust as he saw the deep pools in Shawn's eyes and plunged. He stroked himself and transferred what came out to Shawn. A liberally coated finger slid inside. "Marrrrk! ....fuck! ...... buddy!....... don't stop. That feels sooo good." Mark grinned in silence as he added another finger. This time it was Shawn's hand that harvested the slickness of Mark's efforts and transferred it to Mark's probing fingers. Mark added a third. Finally, Mark pulled his skin half way down and slathered his dick all around Shawn's entrance, pumping out more. Mark waited just outside Shawn for a second. Shawn responded by sliding his hand up the shaft and moving Mark inside. Supporting his weight with both hands and legs, Mark waited for Shawn to adjust and loosen. When Shawn nodded Mark began his slide. Shawn was babbling "Deep inside buddy.......ah shit! ... Fuuuck" Shawn was gripped and surrounded by Mark's power, his laborer's body, the force of his determination. Then he felt Mark touch a part of him that sent waves pulsing through his body. He started breathing in gasps as Mark's hand reached between them to stroke Shawn, sliding the slick skin in time with his piston moving inside. They lifted higher and higher and in a shuddering moment, like a wave cresting before it breaks, they gave themselves one to the other and released their seed in strength and terrible beauty. *************** PART 6 *************** At the end of the week, on the day he was leaving, Shawn got a call from Social Services at the hospital. His patient Todd was ready for discharge but had nowhere to go. His mother died during his stay. "You can't just throw him out into the street." "Medicaid won't cover another day here." He could feel his temper rising. This was one of the things he hated about practicing medicine. "OK Check the goddamn rulebook. You find me a pretty diagnosis that will buy us some more time and I'll sign it. Hell, if it comes to that, put it on my tab." "My job description does not include the practice of medicine, doctor" "Come off it, Carol. You know and I know this is the only choice we've got." "Just bustin' a few chops on my favorite chauvinist, Shawn. I'll do it. But one of these days we're gonna get caught." "You mean somebody else knows about you and me in the linen closet?" She hung up. "What was that all about?" Mark looked curious. "Patient on Medicaid. 29 yr old kid who was mauled as a child. Mark froze for a second. "Just like Toby." "Mark, this kid's name is Todd. He's lived in the Bronx all his life." "I know, I know. The similarity just caught me off guard. How old was this kid when it happened?" "All I know is that the injuries have been around for awhile. Problem is the fuckin' bureaucrats at Medicaid want him out now. And, wait till you hear this one. Kid's mother died while he was in there so he has no place to go. You think they fuckin' care? By the time we get through all the fuckin' red tape, this fuckin' kid will be living in a fuckin' cardboard box." Shawn pounded his fist against the wall in frustration. "Didn't you just buy more time?" "Yeah, but only a few days at most. The kid won't be on his own by then. He needs rehab and then more surgery." "What kind of rehab?" "Nothing complex. He could actually do some of the stuff at home, if he had one, and if he had someone who knew what he was doing to help. A whirlpool would be nice. Imagine getting fuckin Medicaid to pay for that?" Shawn snorted. "Hold on. What do you mean he needs somebody there who knows what he's doing? Like a doc?" "No, a Physical Therapist. He needs passive motion to keep him loose. And he needs to practice using the new setup of muscles I put together." "You mean like with weights and stuff?" "More like with pulleys - but yeah, that's the general idea." "Look Shawn, I know a guy who runs his own PT office not too far from here. He has the equipment and he owes me one. I can move the hot tub indoors. Todd could stay here. As long as you tell Pete, the therapist, what he needs, I'll make sure he gets there every day." "Mark, you've never met this kid. I happen to think he's pretty spunky for just surviving what he's been through, but this is a big commitment. I don't even know if he'd agree to come up. He's pretty big on independence." "Will you at least talk to Pete and see if it might work. Would you at least ask Todd? Please?" Shawn moved closer to Mark and held him. "Buddy, this could tear you up. It's not Toby. You need some emotional distance. And Todd needs it too. You attract strays, you big-hearted slob, not that you'll ever hear me complaining about that. I just don't want to see you come apart." "Shawn, how about this. Why not let us try it out for a week or so. That'll at least get him started. If it doesn't work out, it'll be like a short vacation for him. At the very least you'll get more time to work something in the city." "You really want this, don't you. You're like a dog with a bone." "Good point! Wolf can help too. Don't you docs know that animals speed up healing?" Shawn held up his hands laughing. "OK, OK. Let me run it by Social Services. Put me in touch with Pete. I'll try to put something together and present it to Todd. We can give it a try. But at the first sign this is not working, we pull the plug. No arguments. I don't want to lose a patient and a buddy at the same time." "Would you believe me if I told you you'll never regret this?" "The check is in the mail?" "Hey, I never came in your mouth!" "There's still time." Shawn grinned. ****************** Thanks for your comments! It's neat getting to interact with people who share similar fantasies. Toby