Date: Thu, 24 Nov 2005 15:52:28 -0800 (PST) From: T Chase McPhee Subject: 2006: A Space Oddity one The following story is a work of fan-fiction, set in the format of reality. Any resemblance to real people is entirely coincidental in nature, and is not meant to accurately reflect upon persons in towns, cities, or governmental areas, in which the story is staged. If a sexual scene involving male-to-male relationships offends you, then you should not read this story. Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age, in most state and countries, you are not allowed to read this story by law. This is fiction. Do not forget, in real life, to think about 'sexual safety matter'; got condom? "2006: A Space Oddity" one (John Crichton/Steve Austin/Jason Castle/Capt. Troy) wriTten by T. Chase McPhee % "C'mon Ben, be a good sport about this?" "I am, Phil. I'm trying, but what am I supposed to do, trying to be the halfbreed son of Steve Austin and that... that nimnut rap star can't act to save his father from the electric chair!" "Ben.. Ben... calm down now." "I can't help it Phil." "Listen, Lee Majors is a damn good actor." "I hear ya, Phil. He's good on the set, I have to admit, but..." "But what Ben?" With frustration, Browder reports, "He's tried hinting me for a blowjob at least twenty times, since we've started shooting, okay?" "So, why don't you humor the old man?" "What Phil? I don't fuckin' believe I'm hearing this!" "I was only kidding, Ben. Come on. Pull yourself together." "And that rapper, he calls `that' music? He's no better, mind you." "Ice Tray asked you for a blow job?" "Oh no. He has to get into this really fuckin' kinky stuff." "I'm almost afraid to ask, Ben." "Yeah, catch this... yesterday I'm sitting in my trailer and next to me all I hear is scream'n'bitchin'. I can't even concentrate on watching the Farscape reruns." "That's funny. I didn't hear anything." "Ear plugs?" "No. I only wear them at night, Ben." "This `was' at night, dammit!" "Did you find out what they were doing?" "Damn right! I go around the back and peek in. Oh, they don't know I'm looking, but I see these two guys. One is giving Ice Tray a sniff of poppers and the other is clamping clothespins on his balls!" "Owwch!" "Yeah, tell me about it, Phil." "I'd take a blowjob from Lee Majors any day!" "Blowjob from Majors? Try the other way around, but you think that's the only stunt he's pulled on me, Phil?" "Well, he `was' once the Fall Guy!" Ben rolled his eyes, putting his hands to his head, as Phil laughed his ass off. "You know you're not helping me any here, Phil." "Um, did I mention that BMW is allowing you to keep their prototype?" "Alright, I'll think about the blowjob with Majors, but I ain't becoming a clothesline for no rapper!" After Ben Browder's personal manager departed, he reached under the counter, pulling out a shot glass and bottle of JD. "Ooooh," Ben replied to himself, emptying it down his gullet. A second followed, then a third. "Ben, you in there?" "Oh shit!" Ben called out. He knew the lot rules forbidding anyone from drinking alcohol, on campus, let alone the set. Quickly he stashed the bottle and shot glass, in the cabinet. Taking a large bottle of Mintywash, he took it straight from the jug, swishing it around, spitting it out. "Oh, you are here, Ben?" "M#^%*@^&$".... Ben was thinking more than a garbled mouth full of wash, as Lee Majors invited himself in. After coughing, a bit more spitting and another cough, Ben says, "Just brushing.... Matter-of-factly, was almost ready to come over and see you myself, Steve." "Um, Lee?" "Oh yeah, Lee. I get so used to calling you by your script name." "Hey, I'm sure you're used to John Crichton, too, Ben." Actually, when it came to the babes, Ben knew how they called him! However, to conform to Phil's suggestion about being nice, he responded, "Oh sure. All the time, Lee." "Um, my manager, Doug, thought that you and I should have a talk, Ben." "A talk?" "Yeah, um mind if I sit?" "Suit yourself, um care for a..." forgetting and with his hospitable side kicked in,, he almost goofed, quickly changing the offer from a drink, to, "care for a seat?" Lee looked at Ben strangely. "Um, yeah. Thanks. Don't mind if I do... Ben." Rubbing his hands together, Ben remembered that he did have two Arizona's in the cube fridge. "Hey, care for an ice tea, Lee?" "Sure, would be swell, Ben." `Damn!' Lee said to his inner sanctum, `swell' went out in the 60's! Ben spun the cap to one, then went for the other Arizona, but it didn't budge. "Hmm... the first one turned with no sweat," he said out loud. "Here, let me try, why don't you, Ben?" Lee had to be about thirty years older, but Ben remembered what Phil said about being kinder to the elderly, so he offered Lee a turn at budging the cap. "Oh my! That sucker sure is stuck on there!" Through association, Ben couldn't help correlating the term `sucker', with Lee's hinting as of lately. Still trying to be kind, Ben says, "Why don't you plant your hands firmly on the bottle and I'll try the cap?" Lee agrees. However, as Ben stands in front of him, Lee's eyes are on a totally different prize! "Umm...ummmm..uuummmmphff!" Then the most strangest thing happens. Turning the top off the Arizona, it suddenly loosens. Such force did Ben sway with, that his whole body spun around. "Whooooooooa!" Ben shouts out, loosing his footing, his equilibrium now offset. "Oh!" Lee calls out, as Ben's ass does a turn around and plops right down on his lap. Lee, notices right away, `drinking!' "Oh, I'm terribly sorry there, Lee," Ben apologizes, jumping right to his feet, his face reddened. As if a psych reaction, he feels the back of his pants. "Hey, don't worry, Ben. I'm not even hard!" Ben laughs off the `not funny' joke, still trying to be congenial, but his patience was wearing thin. "Well, at least we got our ice tea's opened, Ben. How about a toast?" "Sure. Whatever's your pleasure, Lee." That didn't come out the way Ben thought about it and he hoped Lee didn't pick up on it, either. However, Lee Majors was way ahead of Ben, ever since he smelled the scent of Ben's favorite liquor on his breath. If he wanted to, Lee could have a `field day' with that tidbit of information. "Here's to the first season and may there be many more to follow!" All Ben could think about, as they clinked bottles, is the salary and the BMW prototype. "Hey guys, what's shakin'?" Lee and Ben look at each other. Ice Tray can tell right away that something is up, between the two. "Hey, I hear you're gay, bro... cool wit me!" He reports to Lee, holding out his hand for a cool five, which never transpires. "Yeah, cuhl," Lee mocks him. Ben gets the idea that Lee and Ice aren't getting along. "I guess it's not a secret. Both of you have heard the news?" Looking at the each other, Ice and Ben shrug shoulders. "The news is that, if we make it through the first season, in the ratings game, that Kent McCord will be reprising his role of Capt. Troy?" "Damn!" Ben replies, "Who are they bringing back next? Major Healy and that dame in the bottle?" Ice looked at Ben strangely, mouthing `Who's that?', as Lee laughed his ass off. "Good one, Ben," Lee called out, holding his hand out for a `cool five'. Ben lightly touched his palm. "I've never heard of these dude's names you're spelling out to me," Ice told them. It stuck in Lee's mind, the `light touch'. He wasn't being so forgiving this time. Then it sparked, like a flame to a match. "Hey, Ice?" "Yeah, bro?" He responded to Lee. "What do you do with your time, off the set?" Looking to Ben, made the actor cringe, thinking to himself, `what the fuck is Majors doing?' He knows he didn't mention anything to Lee, but if he knew something, like he knew something, like now was not the time to bring it out. "Would you believe I'm knitting a sweater?" He replied to Lee Majors. An interval of time of time passed. "Actually, I go over lyrics, too." Ben chided, "At least you don't have to do the music part, no offense." "Actually, Browder, I `do' take offense to that remark. At least I do something constructive with my time." "Oh sure," Ben slips, the effects of those three shots of JD, affecting him. "Oh? And what do you do with your time, Bennie?" "Don't fuckin' call me that!" "Whooooa... looks like Ice struck a raw nerve there!" Lee butts in. "Raw nerve, Lee?" Ben starts in on Lee. "What kind of nerve does it take, when you eat'em raw all the time?" "Browder, I'm warning you!" "Oh? Say, Ice, Lee here proposition you for a blowjob, yet?" "Told ya I'had no problem with you being a queer, Lee. Sure. I'll give you head anytime!" "Both of ya's are sicko's!" Then Lee pulls out his trump card, saying, "Bet `you' wouldn't mind giving either of us a blowjob, Ben?" "Lee get outta here before I fuckin' punch your lights out!" "Hey, don't get hot on the ole man. I like him!" Ice tries defending Lee. "Yeah... two of a kind, stick together! You two do that kinky clothespin stuff on the balls to each other too?" "That was `you' outside the window last night!" Ice accuses Ben's eyes of trespassing. Lee asks, "Kinky clothespins? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Ben?" "Isn't that what you were almost ready to spring on Ice, Lee?" "No, I was going to ask him about his knitting, but he already brought it up, mind you!" Ben stood there, red in the face. "But, while we're on the subject, Ben, what Ice does behind closed doors, is his business. If he enjoys having hot wax dripped on his nips, then that's his business!" "I didn't say that I saw hot wax dripping on his nips, Lee, so there!" "He's right, Lee. I didn't have hot wax dripped on my nips, but you into it, bro?" Shrinking back, Lee admits, "I've tried some S&M in my younger days." "Cool! Hey, my bro's are coming over later for some fun. You want to come play with us?" Ben can't believe the conversation that ensues, right here in his very own trailer. "Hey, if you want to do this asinine stuff, then take it outta here," he prods them, shooing them out with his hands. "Y'know, Ben sometimes you can be a real dick!" Ice tells him, as they both leave. `Whew!' Ben says, relieved. Bending over, he reaches into the bottom cupboard for his bottle and shot glass. % Continued.... Copyright 2005 T. Luke McPhee This story may not be sold or made part of any collection without prior written permission.