Subject: Alexander the newest of the X-Men

Disclaimer: All of the standard disclaimers apply. The X-men are the property of Marvel, and I take no credit for the creation of their characters, only my own. This is a fan fiction, therefore anything discontinuous to the normal X-men universe, including sexuality of the characters, is the product of my imagination. Any similarities to real people or events is completely coincidental. This story contains male/male sex and romance. If you find either theme offensive, what are you doing reading nifty stories? And if you are underage or this story is illegal where you are reading, please leave.

Chapter 17- Evil Xander

( ) Personal Conversations

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Evil Xander: (I got up washed and got into my leather pants, I went through the clothes looking for some kind of hot shirt to wear, damn I really need to get some clothes. I find a decent enough shirt to wear, check myself one last time in the mirror, and make my way out the door. I follow the smell of food in the air. My walk is one of confidence, I'm hot as fuck, and like that people stare, so I walk the walk as well as talk the talk. I see groups of people entering a set of double doors, and know that's the door leading to food. I walk in and go straight over to the food, I'm going to feast, I haven't had a descent meal in I don't know how long. I look around for somewhere to sit, there are some hot people around here, but nothing that makes me weak in the knees, so I just pull up a chair alone and start chowing down my food. A few moments later a group of people come walking up to me.)

Jubilee: Hey what are you doing over here?

Evil Xander: Eating!

Kitty: We can see that! Why are you sitting here by yourself, and not at our usually table?

Evil Xander: Didn't know I sat at a particular table!

Josh: So you going to tell us what happened?

Evil Xander: With what?

Josh: What did Morgan do to you?

Evil Xander: She tried to turn me good!

Rogue: What turn you good, I don't understand?

Evil Xander: That's not what I meant, I mean she tried sending me to a world were I would be evil, as opposed to being good. Ya that's what she did!

Bobby: <Josh, what's up with him?>

Josh: <I don't know, I cant read him, its like he's mentally blocking me somehow!>

Evil Xander: So what do you guys do around here for fun?

Jubilee: In school or out of school?

Evil Xander: I doubt there would be a lot of fun inside the school, I mean out this place?

Kitty: On the weekend we go the club hot spot!

Evil Xander: I'm sure that's really exciting! (These people wouldn't know fun if it hit them in the face.)

Josh: Do you know who we are?

Evil Xander: Since you guys came to sit with me I'm assuming my friends!

Josh: Do you know our names?

Evil Xander: Is this the French inquisition? (Scott walks up)

Scott: Hey guys, Xander I've been looking all over for you!

Evil Xander: You found me!

Scott: I thought we were going to eat together?

Evil Xander: I was starved, couldn't wait! Hey do you know how to get a hold of my father?

Scott: Didn't he tell you to just call out his name and he would appear!

Evil Xander: That's right! FATHER! (In a puff of smoke Dr. Strange appears)

Dr. Strange: Alexander, are you ok?

Evil Xander: Ya, I just needed to ask you something, walk with me! (We set out walking)

Scott: Ok, is Xander acting strange to anyone else or is it just me?

Josh: No I think so too!

Evil Xander: I need some money, I want to buy some stuff!

Dr. Strange: No problem, is that the only reason you called me?

Evil Xander: (Act like you care about him) Well that and I wanted to see how you were doing?

Dr. Strange: You know you don't need an excuse to see me, I would love to just sit down and talk, maybe grab a bite to eat.

Evil Xander: I'll keep that in mind for next time! (He pulls out his wallet and hands me a thousand dollars. Score!) Thanks!

Dr. Strange: Are you sure your ok?

Evil Xander: Couldn't be better! Later pops! (I start to walk out of the cafeteria when one of the guys comes running after me.)

Bobby: Hey where you going?

Evil Xander: I was about to duck out of here and go get some real clothes!

Bobby: Your going to leave the school?

Evil Xander: Look, he just gave me some major cash, I'm going to buy some threads!

Bobby: (The others walk up to them) OH!

Evil Xander: Do we all do everything together?

Jubilee: Pretty much!

Evil Xander: Fine, I'm going into town, who's coming with?

Kitty: Your sneaking out?

Evil Xander: Are you guys a bunch of prudes?

Kitty: I'm down!

Jubilee: Me too!

Evil Xander: Well lets quit talking and get to stepping! Just to be sure everyone here, tell me your names again!

Kitty: I'm kitty, that's Jubilee, Rouge, Josh, Bobby, and Jamie!

Evil Xander: Right! (We leave)

Dr. Strange: Scott, something just isn't right with Alexander!

Scott: I know what you mean, I don't quite know, but he doesn't seem himself!

Dr. Strange: Keep an eye out, and let me know, I'm going to check something out! I'll get back to you if I find out anything!

Scott: Will do!

At the mall-

Evil Xander: (I buy a whole new wardrobe that is more my style. It would have been so much easier to super speed and rip these stores off, than having to wait in lines to pay. But with these geeks following me everywhere I go, I didn't want arouse unnecessary suspicion! We stopped to get drinks!) I'm going to the bathroom be right back!

Josh: I'll go with you!

Evil Xander: Do I look like I need someone holding my hand?

Josh: I'm not holding your hand, I have to go to!

Evil Xander: Whatever! (Talk about a shadow, no wonder I don't like friends! We go into the bathroom, and I walk up to a urinal, pull down my pants and start to take a leak, he stands at the next urinal and starts to piss, I notice he's checking out my dick.) See something you like!

Josh: Sorry, I couldn't help myself!

Evil Xander: You want to hold it for me?

Josh: Are you serious?

Evil Xander: Go ahead! (He grabs my cock as I continue to piss, as I finish he pulls on it releasing the last few drops.) Was that as fun for you as it was for me?

Josh: Xander you seem way different are you sure your ok?

Evil Xander: Just throwing you a bone, seen as how you like looking at it so much!

Josh: I'm not complaining, trust me, I've wanted it for a long time!

Evil Xander: Than stop all your talking and get to work! (I didn't have to ask him twice, he went straight down to his knees and started sucking my cock, I grabbed his head and started pounding my cock down his throat) Damn your pretty good at that! (I was getting close, its been a few days since I let a good load out. And just then Bobby comes in)

Bobby: What's taking you guys so long.

Evil Xander: What can I say he was hungry!

Josh: Bobby!

Bobby: I cant believe this!

Evil Xander: Its just a blow job, get over it!

Josh: Bobby, its not what you think!

Bobby: Really you just kneel in a public bathroom sucking cock for anyone!

Evil Xander: Oh, I get it, you two are together. Well luck you Rob he has a hot mouth!

Bobby: Fuck you Xander, I don't know what your problem is, and I don't give a fuck! You two can have each other!

Evil Xander: I don't want him, I was just getting some head!

Josh: Xander your not helping!

Evil Xander: I'm done with this soap opera! (I walk out leaving the love birds to fight. I walk over to the rest of them pick up my bags.) I'm ready to go!

Kitty: We have to wait for Bobby and Josh!

Evil Xander: They're having a lovers quarrel in the bathroom, I don't know how long they're going to be!

Kitty: A lovers quarrel?

Jubilee: Um, you know them always fighting about something!

Evil Xander: Oh, I see! (Must not be out to their friends!)

Alternate earth-

Scott: Xander, its not that bad here, maybe you could learn to like it here, with me?

Xander: Its not the same thing! Your great you really are!

Scott: But I'm not him!

Xander: Look, I don't even know if my Scott, likes me in that way, I don't even know if I like him in that way, but I was just starting to find out, and I want to know how that story ends!

Scott: I understand, I promise you I'll get you home, so you can find out how the story ends for you two!

Xander: I know you will, and thanks! (I lean in and kiss his cheek)

Jean: The X-men are attacking Muir Island, we have to go!

Back on real earth-

Evil Xander: (I brought up my stuff to my room, and using super speed changed my room around and fixed my clothes the way I wanted then put all of the other Xander's clothes in the bottom of the closet. I take off the clothes I'm wearing as there is a knock on my door) What!

Scott: What, that's how you answer a door, can I come in?

Evil Xander: Its open!

Scott: Whoa, twice in one day huh!

Evil Xander: Get used to it, I like being naked in MY ROOM!

Scott: No problem! Xander is something going on with you, your not acting yourself!

Evil Xander: it's the new me, and I like it! I'm tired of being weak!

Scott: I never thought you were weak!

Evil Xander: Trust me I saw the way he, I mean I saw the way I was, time for a change!

Scott: Is that why you left the school grounds today, because you've changed?

Evil Xander: I needed some clothes, my father gave me some money!

Scott: Xander, you know you cant leave the school grounds without one of us adults with you!

Evil Xander: I'm not a kid, and I can certainly take care of myself! Hey my eyes are up here, not down there!

Scott: Sorry its just flapping back and forth! Did I do something wrong, I mean are you mad at me or something?

Evil Xander: Oh I see, robbing the cradle, you go with your bad self!

Scott: You know your being a little asshole!

Evil Xander: Why for calling you out on checking out a minor?

Scott: This change of yours really sucks, I hope you enjoy it, cause your not going to have any friends left at this rate!

Evil Xander: Friends are an over rated commodity! Been taking care of myself for a long time, why stop now! And the door is right there, don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out! (He storms out slamming the door. Damn for older man he certainly is needy! I get dress and leave my room, lets see what trouble I can get myself into. I walk around the school, and make my way to a garage. Hmm lets see what's in here. There are a whole lot of different cars, and a sweet ass motorcycle, now this I like, I walk over to it and I'm checking it out, when this big dude comes walking up!)

Logan: What ya doing bub?

Evil Xander: This your ride?

Logan: You like?

Evil Xander: Fuck ya, can I take it for a ride?

Logan: Watch the language kid, and no you cant!

Evil Xander: Why I know how to ride!

Logan: No one rides my bike but me!

Evil Xander: (He's got attitude I like, I lean against it) So, why don't you take me for a ride?

Logan: And why would I do that?

Evil Xander: How often will you have the chance to have a real stud sitting on the back of your bike?

Logan: I'm more than enough of a stud, I don't need backup!

Evil Xander: Fine what do you want from me?

Logan: I don't want anything, you're the one that wants a ride!

Evil Xander: Fine, what can I do to get you to give me a ride?

Logan: I don't know, I can think of a lot of things, but I don't think Scott will like it to much if he were to fine out!

Evil Xander: That nerd, who cares what he thinks, this is about you, me and the bike!

Logan: Wow, that's a change, your usually attached to the hip of Scott!

Evil Xander: What can I say, I've just out grown him!

Logan: Then I guess you get yourself a ride!

Evil Xander: Sweet! He gets on and I sit behind him, I grab around his waist and let me tell you, his stomach feels amazing.)

Logan: Grab on tight!

Evil Xander: I wouldn't have it any other way! (He takes off, I lean my head against his back and tighten my grip around his waist, we make it through the front gates and start down the back road.) FASTER, FASTER!

Logan: YOU WANT FAST I'LL GIVE YOU FAST!

Evil Xander: NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! (He flies down the road, between the feel of the engine under me, and being next to this real man, I am on the most horniest high I have ever had. We rode to the top of a mountain side, and pulled over.) That was amazing!

Logan: Could of gone faster but I didn't want to scare you to much!

Evil Xander: I don't scare easily!

Logan: I'll keep that in mind!

Evil Xander: You're an animal man, I love it!

Logan: They don't call me wolverine for nothing bub!

Evil Xander: Wolverine huh, I like it, it suits you! So now that you got me here, what are you going to do with me?

Logan: You sure are acting different!

Evil Xander: Is that a good thing?

Logan: I've just never seen this side of you! Your very forward!

Evil Xander: Why beat around the bush, I hate games, I see, I want, I take! (With that I jump up and warp my legs around his waist and start kissing him)

Logan: Whoa, your just a kid!

Evil Xander: I'm not a kid! And that hard on of yours that's pushing up against my ass, tells me you like this kid! (He grabs my head and starts kissing me real hard, are hands going everywhere, I get down and undo his belt and zip down his zipper, he's free balling it, and his monster cock flies out and hits me in the face) Damn, finally a real man! (I grab it and start sucking hard on his cock, licking up and down the shaft, paying special attention to the head, I lick down the shaft and start to give his balls a good tongue bath, talk about bull balls, he grabs my head and shoves his cock back into my mouth)

Logan: That's it suck my dick, you want a real man, your going to get an animal!

Evil Xander: (He lifts me up and yanks down my pants, bends me over the motorcycle and spits on my ass, he rubs his cock back and forth over my hole, he leans on me, and grabs my nipples and starts to pinch them, while biting on my ear.) Fuck me, shove that cock inside!

Logan: This is going to hurt!

Evil Xander: (He just shoves it in, tarring apart my ass, I love it, he's so rough) Fuck ya, fuck me Wolverine! (I push back as he pushes forward, I meet him thrust for thrust, he's pounding my ass, balls smacking, animalistic sex, he grabs onto my shoulder and pulls all the way out and then all the way back in as hard as he can) Fuck ya, pound my ass, harder, I want to feel all of you, I need it harder, faster, give me that cock!

Logan: Fuck ya, your one hot fucking piece of ass, take this man cock, I'm going to fuck you so hard you wont be able to sit for a week, take my fucking cock!

Evil Xander: That's it your fucking unbelievable, I fucking love your cock, its fucking amazing, that's it fuck my ass, don't stop, harder, fuck me harder! (The man has stamina I'll give him that, we must have fucked for a half hour, before he was ready to shoot.)

Logan: Fuck, I'm about to shoot a giant load!

Evil Xander: (He grabs my cock and starts stroking it) Fuck, just a little longer, keep pounding my ass!

Logan: Your ass is so tight, I don't think I can hold back much longer!

Evil Xander: Fuck, I don't want it to stop, you feel so fucking great!

Logan: I'm cumming, I'm shooting my load, fuck, fuck, oh fuck ya!

Evil Xander: Fuck me too, I'm shooting, I'm fucking shooting my load! (I shot my load, I must have came so much.)

Logan: That was hot, I didn't think you had that in ya, bub! Hey you got some spunk on my ride, you better lick that up!

Evil Xander: My pleasure! (He grabs my head pushes me down as I lick the cum off his bike! I think I'm in love!)

Logan: I could have a lot of fun with you!

Evil Xander: So what's stopping you! I sure would love another bull ride!

Logan: I'll take you up on that offer, cowboy, but later, we need to get back!

Evil Xander: Are you afraid you might get in trouble?

Logan: I put the t in trouble bub!

Evil Xander: Then stop talking and start fucking!

Logan: Grrr!

Alternate earth-

Xander: Scott look out! (I ran at super speed and push Scott out of the way as the Incredible Hulk comes crashing down, I get hit instead and like a nail being driven into a wall, I'm hit into the ground!)

Hulk: Hulk smooch little man!

Xander: (I spin myself really fast out of the ground) It will take more than that to keep me down! (I start punching him in the face, and he punches and sends me flying back where I crash into a car, completely ripping off the top with the force of my body!) That's going to leave a mark! (I use my optic beam and hit him in the stomach, it only makes him angrier!)

Hulk: Little man make Hulk angry! Hulk crush you like bug!

Xander: Look you big green fighting machine, I have a better Idea, why don't I send you on a free trip?

Hulk: Hulk no go anywhere, Hulk stay here!

Xander: I don't think so big guy! (I fly at him grab his hand and spin him around as fast as I can and let him go flying through the air) That ought to keep him busy for a while!

Scott: Good job Xander, now give me some help with Ironman over here!

Xander: You got it!

Back on real earth-

Evil Xander: (After another hot fuck by this bad ass Wolverine, we headed back to the school We got into the garage and parked the bike, not knowing that Scott had just walked in) You are the hottest bad ass I have ever met! And trust me I have met a lot!

Logan: Well you certainly gave me a run for my money! Who know you were such a wild young buck!

Evil Xander: I still have a lot more tricks up my sleeve, you haven't seen anything yet!

Logan: What makes you think I'm going to give you a chance to show me?

Evil Xander: Because no one will ever be able to make your knees buckle, and your juices bubble, and pop you like a bottle of fine champagne the way I can! (I must have set the animal in him off, cause he grabbed me and threw me up against a car and started kissing me, it was so fucking hot.)

Scott: LOGAN, JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?

Logan: DAMN, sneak up on a person why don't you!

Scott: Xander, go to your room, Logan and I need to have a conversation!

Evil Xander: He didn't do anything wrong, there is nothing for you to talk about!

Logan: I can deal with this!

Evil Xander: No, he's just jealous that it was you and not him, kissing me right now, aren't you Scott?

Scott: Alexander, I have no idea where this attitude of yours has come from, but I've had enough, get to your room now, I wont ask you again!

Logan: Just go kid!

Evil Xander: Whatever!

Scott: Logan just what the hell where you thinking, he's just a kid, and he's been through to much bullshit for the past month!

Logan: He's no kid, he knows how to get what he wants. I didn't plan that he made it a little hard to resist!

Scott: He's only 17, and your old enough to be his grandfather! You should know better!

Logan: The kid was right you are jealous, if I would known you swung that way I would have had your ass a long time ago, we all know how much you need it!

Scott: Fuck you! (I punched him so hard in the face knocking him to the ground!) You stay away from Xander, I wont ask you again!

Logan: I'll let that go on account of you thought he was your brother, so I know you think your protecting him! But next time you get in my face, I will use these on you! (Let his claws come out)

Scott: (I turn around and walk out. What the hell is wrong with Xander, how could he do this, why would he do this. Its my fault I should have told him the way I feel, but now, knowing that Logan touched him, had him, I don't know if I can ever look at him the same way. Whatever the case may be he's getting out of control! I get to his room and walk in.) Xander, are you in here!

Evil Xander: I'll be right out! (I showered after my hot time with animal man, now I have to listen to whinny Scotty! To keep Wolverine out of trouble I'll play nice with Scott! I walk out naked.) Sorry I had to shower!

Scott: I'm sure you did! Xander what are you doing, what's going on with you, this isn't like you?

Evil Xander: (Ok I'm going for the Emmy award performance, bring on the water works, I let my eyes start to water.) I, I, you just don't know how hard its been, losing my memory, being sent to that hell dimension, it felt like I was there a life time, alone, scared, with no one to turn to, I just needed to feel something, anything, I forced myself on Wolverine, I know I should have, but I just need to feel, can you understand that, can you! (Crying harder)

Scott: Xander I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were going through all of this, Xander you know I'm here for you.

Evil Xander: I know, I'm sorry, I should have talked to you about it, I just feel like I've lost control, I'm doing things and not thinking of the consequences.

Scott: (I grab him and hug him to my body, although he's naked, I feel so bad, I never knew he was going through so much.) Xander, its alright buddy, I'm here for you, will get through this, I promise you, I told you before I'll always be here for you. I love you kid-o!

Evil Xander: (With my head on his shoulders I roll my eyes, secretly laughing at this fool, he's so easy) Thank you Scott, I love you too!

Alternate earth-

Xander: Get off of him you bastard! (Ironman is stepping on top of a face down Scott, pushing him into the ground, I fly at him hitting him in the back and flying straight into a wall. He uses his thrusters to push back on me, sending us flying backwards and sending me into a car.)

Scott: You need to hit his chest!

Xander: Now you tell me! (He flies upward and I fly after him, I grab his leg, and pull him down sending him into the ground, I flip him over and punch into his chest, he shoots an energy blast into my chest sending me flying into Scott.)

Scott: Ow, you need to lose some weight!

Xander: I do not!

Scott: I'm just kidding! Look he's flying away, you did it kid-o!

Xander: (For a moment when he called me kid-o, I felt like I was home with my Scott. I just started to cry, I couldn't help it, I don't understand the connection I have with my Scott, but its there nonetheless and I want him, I want to be with him.)

Scott: Don't cry, I didn't mean to call you fat!

Xander: That's not why I'm crying, I'm sorry!

Scott: Don't be sorry, Look at me, I will get you home if it's the last thing I ever do!

Xander: Its just hard being around you, your exactly like him, the way he cares about me, they way you look at me, the things you say, I almost get confused and think your really him!

Scott: I can tell why he loves you so much, you have an amazing spirit, you're here, stuck no less, and still you help us with are battles here, and you've open your heart to us and treat us with love. I wish that I could have met you before the other Scott did, cause I know that I've fallen in love with you in this short time that I have known you.

Xander: (He grabs my head and kisses my forehead) I don't even know if he likes me in that way, I don't know if he's gay, that's the saddest part, here I have you who actually is gay, and likes me, and all I can think about is him who I don't know if I even stand a chance!

Scott: Well if you change your mind I'd be more than happy to show you some sweet loving!

Xander: That's good to know, so if I ever get home and he doesn't want me I know where to fine you!

Back on real earth-

Scott: I don't know Jean, he must be having some sort of break down!

Jean: Can you blame him!

Scott: The way he's handling things, in all the time I've gotten to know him, its just not the way the Xander I know would handle things!

Jean: What are you saying?

Scott: Jean, this is going to sound crazy but I just don't think that's the Xander we know!

Jean: What? What do you mean?

Scott: Jean, I know it sounds out there, but I know Xander and that isn't him!

Jean: What do you think he's some kind of shape shifter like Mystique or something?

Scott: Cant you read his mind and find out, I mean if it were Mystique you wouldn't be able to read him, right?

Jean: Scott, are you sure we want to go down this path, I mean if it is him, and he were to find out, he would never forgive us!

Scott: And if its not him, my Xander is out there somewhere, and God only knows what's happening to him! Are you willing to take that chance?

Jean: Alright I'll do it!

Scott: Thank you Jean I owe you big time for this!

In the common room-

Evil Xander: (I walk around the school killing time waiting for it to get later, so I can have Wolverine again. As I walk into the common room I see Bobby and Josh, and the rest of the geek squad sitting around so I figure I would fuck with them.) Hey guys you look like your having so much fun!

Kitty: What's it to you?

Evil Xander: Something wrong?

Kitty: Ya your interrupting a privet get together!

Evil Xander: You guys cant still be mad about the mall?

Jubilee: We can and we are!

Evil Xander: I didn't mean to make you upset, my actions where wrong earlier today, and I'll understand if you never want to talk to me again! (I start walking away(

Kitty: Xander wait!

Evil Xander: Yes!

Jubilee: Whatever your damage is get over it, were suppose to be your friends, so act like it!

Evil Xander: You'll see a difference! I'm a changed man! Hey Bobby, could I talk to you for a minuet in my room?

Bobby: Sure!

Evil Xander: (We walk to my room) Bobby, I'm sorry about earlier I just, I have to be honest with you, I've wanted you for so long, and you and Josh together just got my blood boiling, that I felt like I had to make you angry so I did what I did knowing you would come into the bathroom and catch us.

Bobby: You did all that just to hurt me, if you had just said how you felt I would have never been with Josh! Its you I want, its you I've always wanted!

Evil Xander: Then please stop talking and kiss me! (He starts kissing me and I let my hands down and take and unzip my pants, and pull them down) Bobby, show me how much you want me, suck my cock like you've never sucked cock before! (He gets down on his knees and starts sucking my cock, damn he's pretty good. I grab my cock and start smacking his face with it) Come on now tell me how much you want my cock, beg me for it.

Bobby: Xander you don't know how much I've wanted to taste that cock of yours, your all I think about, your so fucking hot, I want you, I need your cock, please let me suck it!

Evil Xander: (I pound my cock back into his mouth and start fucking his face, and right on queue, Josh enters my room)

Josh: I knew it, you mother fucker, I knew it, the first chance you got you get down on your knees like a fucking dog and suck his cock!

Evil Xander: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, This is worth a million dollars just to see your faces!

Bobby: You mean you did this on purpose?

Evil Xander: Trust me I'm doing you guys a favor, if your both so willing to get on your knees for me, you have no business being together! Now get the fuck out of my room! Ha, ha, ha! (I fly out of my window and make my way over to now that I know his real name, Logan's room. I knock on the door)

Logan: Its open!

Evil Xander: Open for service I hope!

Logan: Didn't think you were coming!

Evil Xander: Wild horses couldn't keep me away!

Logan: Then what took you so long?

Evil Xander: Oh I had some unfinished business to attend too!

Logan: Hey kid!

Evil Xander: Ya!

Logan: Say goodnight!

Evil Xander: Goodnight? (That's when I feel a needle enter my neck and before I know it, I've fallen to the ground and blacked out)

Logan: Scott if your wrong about this, you're a dead man!

Scott: Logan for once in your life trust me!

Jean: Guys step aside! (I put my hands on his head, and I enter into his mind, I start to see all that has happened since he got back, so I move further back into his mind, and now I see the world in which he came from, I see the battle that took place at the home of Dr. Strange, I see the real Xander, and I see everything before that all the way to him standing next to the professor, trying to stop Xander from saving Scott) This isn't our Xander, he's a Xander from another world!

Scott: Oh no I knew it, the where the hell is our Xander!