Fic: The Art of (Un)Subtlety II
The Art of (Un)subtlety
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Disclaimer: Inspired by true events, but sadly fiction nonetheless.
Rating: R bordering NC-17- let's say NC-17 to play it safe.
Summary: David takes notes from Michael's handbook of subtlety.
Author's Notes: I really need to pace my writings. That being said, I'm going to post this story in parts. This story as well as my other stories are posted at Castrofics. Otherwise, enjoy the story here and for visual aid, please check out Jason Castro Beautiful Slideshow.
Affiliates: Castrofics --a comprehensive Jason Castro fanfiction archive. Castrofics officially has forum, so stop by and check out the forum while you read old favorites and discovery new gems.
Jason Castro's Myspacec -not really mine, but do visit and play his music so the big wigs in the music industry can see the light and realize that Jason Castro can sell albums and tickets.
Jason Castro's Official Site --pretty boy's official website is just as pretty as its muse.
The Art of (Un)subtlety II
David is damn proud of himself these last couple of weeks, ignoring the boy with the prettiest blue eyes. He spends most of his free time in Michael's company away from Jason, forcing the boy to hang around the younger David instead or anyone else who doesn't mind looking like an onion next to him. And even though their rooms are next together, David makes an effort each time to return to his room late at night when he knows Jason would be out cold, which for the boy is usually a few minutes after the concert ends. When they all get together for their weekly dinner outings, David chooses to sit at the end of the table away from Jason and keeps his eyes away from Jason's end of the table even if it means that he has to stare at the blank wall in the restaurant. The incessant phone calls from The Powers That Be stop as well and now he can focus on recording his album. He still sees Jason in passing on the bus. He smiles at him when he sees him. He still says hi to him and makes small meaningless talks with him. He still gazes lovingly at him from afar, but David is getting much better at hiding his infatuation for the boy. He wears his sunglasses on the bus so he can just stare at the boy without anyone really noticing. That or everyone thinks he's a pretentious prude so they don't really associate with him anymore.
Life is alright now with David lusting after Jason from afar and everyone getting off his back for crushing over the boy since he's detached himself from the boy's right hip. Once David was fucking Kimberly Caldwell and for the first time he was enjoying ramming his cock in her while imagining it was Jason's ass he was plowing. Yes, life is well, again, until today.
David strolls into the bunk area in the back of the bus and finds Jason in his bunk, strumming away with his guitar. The boy is so lost in the music that he fails to notice David standing in the doorway, just gazing at him. When he looks up, David's smile disappears and his heart breaks. He has seen, studied, memorized Jason's beautiful blue eyes and today he sees something different swirling around in those oceanic blue eyes.
Jason Castro has the saddest blue eyes he has ever seen.
The boy barely acknowledges David. He offers David a small smile and continues to strum his guitar. The song of choice today is "So Fast," a haunting song the boy wrote after learning about a friend's suicide. He sings about why they weren't so kind. The pain is laced with every breath he takes. David slides down along the door. He crawls across the floor and stops in front of Jason. Carefully, he presses his fingers across the guitar strings and takes the guitar away from the boy. Jason sighs deeply, pulling up his knees. His knees press against his chest as he wraps his arms around his knees.
"We were so unkind to her." Jason whispers.
David sighs. He's heard this story before- the story behind "So Fast," written on the night before Jason's 19th birthday after having learned that one of his friends from high school had committed suicide earlier in the day.
"Jason," David looks up to see the tears stinging the boy's eyes. "They were unkind. You didn't do anything wrong. You were her friend."
"I was the worst of them all. I wasn't unkind to her, but I didn't show her that I loved her either when she needed my love most." Jason roughly wipes away the tears from his eyes and scurries to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
David is at a loss for words. He doesn't know what to say. He simply leans against the bathroom door. It breaks his heart when he hears the soft sniffles from the other side of the door. He only finds solace in knowing that Jason will not harm himself because God does not want him to do so. As he rests his head against the door, he contemplates on everything that has happened since the beginning of the tour. He takes it back. Actually, he contemplates on everything that has happened since the first day he looked into those baby blue eyes of Jason's. He ponders over what Michael had said earlier in the week about toning down his affection for the boy. And now, he finds himself with tears threatening to fall down his pale cheeks because what Jason needs more than anything is all the affection in the world. The boy was born to be loved and nothing less.
He spends the next few weeks, bridging the gap that he has created between him and Jason. Whenever possible, he lingers around the boy, gazes lovingly at the boy in spite of the condescending glares people are giving him. He sits in on the boy's rehearsals, whether he's invited or not. Listening to Jason's soothing voice lulls him to a peaceful surrender. He leaves Jason poetic haikus on his pillow. His favorite topic he covers with his prose is the beauty of Jason, both inside and outside. He takes the boy out shopping when the boy needs a new pair of jeans or shoelaces for his sneakers. The boy has a tendency to step all over his shoelaces. Once, he nearly tripped over his shoelaces had David not been behind him, catching his fall. He walks with the boy, side by side, as they leave the bus and meet the fans, never leaving the boy's side. He doesn't want to hear about another groping incident. Never too far, he returns to being Jason's shadow. Still, the boy is oblivious to his adoration. There is no longer tears of pain swimming in the boy's deep oceanic blue eyes though the twinkle of pure contentment hasn't returned to his eyes either. It will take time David surmises for Jason to come full circle.
David is planning another excursion with the boy. This time, he really wants to take Jason out to the golf course, where David can introduce Jason to his third favorite passion- after music and Jason, of course. He sneaks into Jason's room using a spare keycard that both he and Michael have to find the boy missing from his room. Alarmed, David rushes out of the room, colliding with little Archie in the hallway.
Never mind checking to see if the boy is alright, David takes Archie by his shoulders and shakes him violently.
"Do you know where Jason is?" David asks.
Archie scratches his head. "I thought he was hanging out with you today. He was waiting for you all day in his room."
"He didn't say where he was going?" David asks Archie, again, shaking the boy.
Archie shakes his head and the fear in his eyes does little to calm David down until Carly steps in between the two.
"David, get a hold of yourself. He says he doesn't know where Jason is." She reasons. She turns to Archie and tells him to leave them. "Go on." Once Archie is out of earshot, her focus returns to David. "What the hell was that all about?" She asks.
"I know what it was about." Carly interrupts his explanation. "You really want me to tell Michael about this incident, do you?"
Carly has become Michael's ears and eyes since the arrival of Stacey, reporting every relapse to Michael. This incident is no exception. David hangs his head low and walks away, moping.
"David." Carly calls out to him. He stops and turns around. "Jason's with his mother, sister, and girlfriend. Let me enunciate that last word to you so you can hear me loud and clear. Girlfriend."
"Fuck you, Carly." David mutters and walks away.
As pathetic as it seems, David waits for Jason in the lobby of the hotel. There is only one entrance to the hotel so eventually Jason will have to return. As the clock ticks away precious seconds and the hour hand is approaching midnight, David finds himself utterly depressed. He remembers vaguely Jason telling him that he wants to remain a virgin until marriage. Then why the hell isn't the boy back to the hotel? He waits awhile longer for the boy and just when he's ready to give up, Jason trudges inside with his eyes downcast. When the boy bumps into David, he feigns a smile and walks away. After living with Jason for this long, David knows a fake smile when he sees one and there is absolutely nothing genuine about the smile that he just saw. He catches up to the boy, grabbing his arm. The elevator doors open and Jason eyes the elevator. David releases his grip and follows Jason into the elevator shaft.
Silence consumes the atmosphere inside the boxed cubicle until David has the courage to break the silence.
"I take it you didn't have fun today."
Jason keeps his head down and digs his fingers further into his jeans' pockets.
"I realize today that I don't entirely believe Mandy loves me whole heartedly just for me." Jason admits. "No one ever does." The boy sighs, despondently, and walks out of the elevator, leaving David to his thoughts.
Only when the elevator doors closed, again, that David breaks from his reverie, cursing at himself for not going after the boy. He frantically pushes all the buttons in the elevator to stop the elevator from going up and when it stops, he pushes the open button. When the doors slide open, David darts out of the elevator shaft for the stairs. He flies up the stairs, taking several steps at a time. How the hell he manages to do so without tripping and tumbling to his premature death is beyond him. He rips open the door to the hotel in time to see Jason sliding his keycard, a pout fixed on the boy's face.
"I love you," David says, grabbing the boy's arm and turning him around to face him.
Jason shakes his head, forlornly. "That's what everyone says when they want to get in your pants and boast about it to everyone in Central Park."
And he disappears into his room just like that, again, leaving David to his thoughts. This time, however, David is more alert and he tiptoes back into his room literally seconds before Carly's door creaks open.
"David?" She whispers, quietly, and when she hears and sees nothing, she shuts her door.
Once safe inside, David crashes onto his bed. Tonight, he finds himself restless, unable to sleep. He keeps dreaming of Jason's baby blue eyes and the sadness embedded deep in those once sparkling orbs. He doesn't know how else to show the boy that he loves him, that he will die or even kill for his love. Jason is it for him and there is no one else he would rather be with. He muses over the possible declarations of love he can perform and the brainstorming ideas keep returning to his initial thought.
"Tomorrow the world will know that I love Jason Castro," he murmurs to himself right before dosing off to sleep. Surprisingly for the first time in months, David is able to sleep.
to be continued...