This is my first story, and yet I think the hardest thing to write so far has been this header. I’ll say it simply: if you’re reading this and you aren’t supposed to, then just don’t get caught. If I told you not to read it I’d be a hypocrite, because that’s exactly what I’d do in your position, and I can hardly blame you for being curious at the very least. But be warned-this story contains sexual innuendo concerning innocent acts between two boys: myself and Zachary Hanson. None of it actually happened, or indeed ever will, I’m sure, but hey, I can dream can’t I? No slight intended on Mr. Hanson, of course, for whom I have the utmost respect and regard.


I think I'd also like to take the time now to dedicate this whole damn mess to Jarod-again.  Without him, none of this would have been possible, or even highly probable.  In fact, our meeting was nothing less than an infinite improbability, and our love is one in a gazillion.  He makes every light golden, and every sight seem new.   -DSR

Bastian and Hanson:  "Inner Demons Awake"  (b/b celeb)

"Sebastian, get in the car."

"But I want to ride with Zac!"

"Now, Sebastian. We’re just going to the house. You’ll see your friend again when we get there and then for the rest of the week. Now get in the car."

"Go on," Zac said, "he’s right. You really should spend some time with your family. My dad’s done the same thing before, too." I looked at him helplessly and crawled into the back of the Rover. It was just me, Mr. Masterson, and Cathy and Elizabeth, Taran’s sister who was Cathy’s age. She was the oldest. Obviously this was some kind of plan, with Taran in the other car with his other two sisters and Jonathan. This way they all got to hear about Hanson. Maybe Taran’s parents were trying to keep them from making fools of themselves at the dinner table or something. I dunno. But it was annoying as hell having two randy girls breathing down your neck asking questions about someone else. Yuch.

I have to say, though, that it’s only fair I guess. Taran and I got the chance to stay with the boys these girls were madly infatuated with and it was only right (and prudent) to answer some of their questions. I’d heard them arguing earlier about us getting special treatment, but that was a load of crap I thought. But load of crap or not, they still had the capacity to make Taran’s parents’ lives hell. So I, at least, obliged.

"How big are his feet?"


"Taylor’s, idiot!"

"Oh, about the size of your nose."

"What’s he like?"



"Aside from having delusional fantasies about neo-nazi world domination, he’s quite nice once you get to know him."

"What does he brush his teeth with?" This time I didn’t ask who.

"A toothbrush."

"But what kind of toothpaste?"

"I dunno. Big-Toe Brand, I guess."

"What’s the best part about them?"

"Morning breath. Definitely the morning breath."

"Okay, so what’s the worst part about them?"

"I wish they could just bathe every other day at least. This once-a-week thing is killing me."


"Just tell them what they want to know, Sebastian."

"I would if they could ask me some real-life questions. How would I know how big Tay’s feet are?" I got an amused chuckle for that one. From the front of the Rover, anyway.

"Okay, okay, I’ll come clean. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just no more stupid questions."

"Alright then, so what do they like to do?"

"Let’s see," I said, thinking, "they like to swim, rollerblade, at least Zac does, Ike likes to fiddle with his guitar, and Tay and Dean like video games, but I guess Zac does, too, cuz we played some before the concert. And Zac likes Austin Powers a lot, too, and burnt hamburgers and he gave me a friendship bracelet," I said, holding it out for them to see. I was careful to keep the gold one hidden. That would take some uncomfortable explaining eventually, but not now. To their credit they didn’t try to rip my arm off. They just looked. And looked. And looked. I pulled my arm back when I thought I saw drool.

"Oh, and their bodyguard, Jim, he’s pretty cool, too. He went swimming with us and we all ganged up on him and he was real cool about it. He raced with Zac and me and he won, but then when Zac and me went through the bushes and fell into the ditch he came after us to see if we were ok. We were, so we went back to the hotel and he bought us cokes." If you couldn’t tell, I went off-Hanson because I knew it would piss them off. I could see the pygmies were about to revolt again, so I switched back.

"Okay, really, they’re nice. Zac’s cool and we’re friends, and Dean’s Tay’s friend, and he’s cool, too. Tay’s spent more time with Tay than I have, so you’ll have to ask him about Tay. Ike’s been kind of quiet, but he and Tay gave us these ties for tonight because we forgot to go out and get some." Of course they had to finger the tie-the tie that was brand new but nevertheless held the stigma: Taylor Hanson might have worn or might wear this tie.

"So do they really call each other by their names or do they use nicknames all the time?"

"Well, we haven’t really hung out together that much yet. People think they do everything together, but they don’t. They get sick of each other just like we do, and they tend to keep to themselves a lot of the time. I mean, it’s not like they have to hang out together all the time just because they sing together or because they’re brothers. And it’s not like they all have the same personality. Zac is nothing like Ike or Tay, and just because you know a lot about Tay it doesn’t mean you really know him or anything." That was saying a lot, and they had no idea.

"So does Zac have a girlfriend?’

"Naw." Oops. "I mean, why would he want one? It’s not like he has time for it or anything." As soon as I said it my blood froze. He didn’t have time for it. He wouldn’t have time for me. Oh no, I thought. At the end of the week, it’s over. No more. It’s not like he could keep coming to see me, and it wasn’t even thinkable that I could go see him in Oklahoma. It was over. And it hadn’t even started. I rubbed the bracelet, holding back the tears that threatened to give everything away.

And I really liked him, too. I kissed him. That has to count for something. Zac was someone important, and I was nothing. I was just some kid who liked the music he and his brothers played. No, that couldn’t be true. The bracelet, and the coming-out party in the closet. I just couldn’t figure out how it was going to work.

"Hey, Sebastian, are you going to get out or not?" Mr. Masterson asked, holding the door open.

"What? Oh, yeah." I crawled out and went inside. Mrs. Masterson pulled up behind the Rover just as the door shut.

"Don’t change, kids. Wait until after dinner!" Mr. Masterson yelled after us. I ran up to my room to grab some things I might need for the rest of the week. The girls just stood at the windows to wait, having been forced inside. Mr. Masterson didn’t want to overload the Hansons with too many people at once, as if that was possible. Then it was down to the kitchen to grab some cokes and then out to the living room, where coats were being hung and stars were being gawked over. Tay took the initiative after the Hansons had been introduced.

"So you must be Elizabeth," Tay said. Elizabeth didn’t say anything.

"And you must be Cathy," he said, moving on. He was smooth, at least. You could tell he’d done this one-way greeting before.

"Sebastian’s told us all about you. Don’t worry, we didn’t believe any of it."

"Girls, aren’t you going to say hello to our guests?" This from Mrs. Masterson. They adopted blank stares of incomprehension-it was wonderful.

"Um, uh............hi," Cathy managed. Then she blushed as she realized how dumb she sounded.

"Hello," Elizabeth managed.

"Look, girls, I’m going to go into the kitchen to get dinner started. Why don’t you show our guests to the living room so they can sit down and you can talk to them," Mrs. Masterson said, with emphasis on talk. I could tell she was flustered about cooking for celebrities. Dinner should be great, if it didn’t burn while she worried over it. But then I almost laughed when I thought of what she’d say to Zac’s favorite of burnt burgers. Instead I took the opportunity to toss cokes to Hansons and Dean.

"Um, oh yeah, would you like something to drink?" Elizabeth asked.

"That’s okay, we’re set," Ike said, smiling slightly. Elizabeth succeeded in looking extremely stupid. What is it about girls that makes them so dumb sometimes? No, really, I want to know why they lose the capability for rational thought at the times it would do them the most good.

"Here, let me help you with that Catherine," Zac’s mom said, walking off to join Mrs. Masterson in the kitchen. And so it was the Hanson clan and the Masterson-Ryan clan faced off in the den, not too sure of what to do next. Perfect, I thought. A situation to take advantage of.

"Hey, Mr. Masterson, is it alright if Zac and I go outside until dinner?" Mr. Masterson looked around, as if an answer were going to be found lying on the ground. I’d never seen him so indecisive before.

"Well, I suppose it should be fine, that is if you don’t have any objections to it, Walker?"

"Oh, no, it’s fine with me. Just so long as they’re back in time for dinner. No tardiness, Zac." He ordered.

"And keep your clothes clean. Don’t go out of earshot so we can call you when it’s time to eat," Mr. Masterson said, making sure the leash was too tight as always. "And don’t go into the forest."

"Okay, okay. It’s not like we’re trying to run away or anything," I said, rolling my eyes at him. He grinned, and everything was okay. This was perfect. There was no way I could sit in a room with Hanson clan and Masterson-Ryan clan of girls and not kill one of them. Jonathan and Mackie had already disappeared with Jessica and Avie upstairs to the game room to play N64.

"Sure dad," Zac said, grabbing my hand and pulling me bodily through the house in search of the back door.

"I said no forest, boys!" Mr. Masterson yelled. Zac pulled up short and we went out the front door. The backyard, if it could be called that, was really just the edge of a small forest. Going out the back meant going into the forest. Zac didn’t know this, though. That’s okay, though: I explained it to him later.

We broke out the front door in a dead run, eager to get away from the slavering girls. Church sucks, and we had too much energy to burn. I went to pick up a ball of some kind, I think it was of the soccer variety, but Zac just whacked it out of my hands and yanked me around to the side of the house.

"But Zac, he said we couldn’t go back there."

"Shut up," he said, and he pinned me to the side of the house with his body, his erection pressed tightly against me, my member suddenly warming to the idea. This was dangerous, and I knew we shouldn’t be doing this, but my dick had other plans. I was caught in his eyes.

"What is it about choirboys that makes them so damn hot?" He demanded, as if I might possibly know. Before I got the chance to answer him, though, he mashed his lips into mine with all the ferocity of a whisper on the wind. Then, gaining momentum, he continued in earnest. I skipped the warmups and went straight for those gentle blood-red curves of soft flesh. I could kiss those lips for hours on end, days even, without stopping. Let me die, I thought. Better that than to breath and break that most sensual, and yet painfully briefest of touches. Somehow I’d awakened a demon inside this god, as powerful as the demon taking over my own body, and I welcomed it. I encouraged it.

I wanted it.

Steam swirled around us, coming out of our noses like we were fire-breathing dragons in heat, burning in the lust we shared. We were so hot our bodies began smoking, and soon we would have to quench the fire with our aqua vitae. The pinnacle approached, the peak of life itself, from whose elevation life shrinks into a single moment of the penultimate ecstasy that only boys on the edge of puberty can know in their still-simple world, like a single drop of water threatening to drown you for all eternity. It was a raw moment, and our separate loves reached out to the other with evanescent fingertips, finding only slippery handholds. Our emotions touched only briefly, and at that breaking point we felt the flood break the dam, washing over us, drowning us at the bottom of a new sea of emotion. It was like standing at the bottom of a valley while watching the waters come raging, knowing that death-only death-lay ahead-and not being scared. And then the clouds parted and the sky cleared and the sun shone through the mist and I smiled.

Zac had leaned his head against the wall next to mine. We stood silent for a while, catching our breath. Our breath fogged in the chilly air, and the sweat on our foreheads was still warm. I’ve never felt more spent, more emotionally clean. Only Zac could do that for me. Only Zac.

If you like this story, you can ring me at  If you don't like it, it’s not my fault. But you can still ring me up and tell me why it disagreed with you. If you’re interested in the whole thing, it can be found at under "Dominick".