Admitting the Truth

by Kenitra

Other Stories by Me!

(under College section)
(Posted Dec 16/00)

(All under boy-bands)
NEW! What If
(Posted May 29/01)

Millennium Love
(Last post July 1/01)
Blissful Tears
(Ended Jan 28/01)

First Anniversary
(Posted Oct 31/00)

Fates Reason
(Ended Feb 6/00)

Ice Storm
(Posted May 8/00)

Set You Free
(Ended Apr 11/00)

Ten Guys, One Night
(Posted Apr 7/00)

Well, did anyone expect to see me back again so soon with another one-time story? :-))

This story came to mind today and I wrote it in a few hours...a record for me I think. Now, most of the people reading stories in this section of Nifty have probably heard about the problems AJ McLean is having. This story is not intended to minimize his struggles. I personally think he's brave to admit he has a problem and to get help for it.

Heartfelt Thank Yous go out to my friends: Rune and Neo for encouraging me to post this little story. If people don't like it, I can blame you guys! *grin*

I don't know any of the Backstreet Boys. I have never met them and am extremely unlikely to have that kind of good fortune. Everything that happens in this story...aside from what's true, is fiction.

If you have any comments about this story, please email me at
I try to respond to every single email I get!

As always, thank you for reading!

I watched helplessly as the pattern continued, wondering when things would explode. Nick would drag his latest toy, male or female back to the hotel after the concert. AJ would watch with the most sorrowful expression on his face. Then the sadness would turn to anger and he would go out. We all knew where he was going; drowning his sorrows had become the norm on this tour. Yet none of us did anything about.

The blow-up came the weekend after the July 4th holiday. AJ finally reached the point where he couldn't take Nick's flaunting. So instead of getting drunk, he brought home his own toy that night. It was at that point that Nick realized his attempts to get a reaction from AJ, to make him jealous, had gone too far.

When Nick saw AJ and his male friend, Nick quietly left the room. I followed, worried about what he would do. I had reason to worry. He walked down to the hotel gym, but instead of working out his frustrations with a workout or a punching bag, he slammed his fist into the cement wall of the locker room.

"Oh fuck!" he screamed.

I ran over to him. "Jesus Nicky, what the hell?" I shouted. I carefully grasped his wrist so I could look at his hand. He was trembling violently and tears were pouring down his face. I knew he was in pain, but the tears were for more than just his hand.

"Damn it Nicky," I said softly. I led him to a bench and made him sit down. The commotion we had created caused a couple of people to come into the locker room. I looked up at them. "Could one of you find out if the hotel has a doctor on staff?" I asked politely. "My friend has injured his hand."

The two men nodded and thankfully both left.

I could tell from the way his hand was swelling that he had broken a few bones. He leaned back against the lockers behind him and closed his eyes. I carefully brushed some of his scraggily blond hair from his forehead.

"Was it worth it Nick?" I asked quietly.

Nick opened his eyes and looked at me sadly. "I just wanted him to need me the way I need him," he murmured.

We didn't get a chance to say anything else as the two men returned with an older man in tow.

The doctor took a look at Nick's hand and gave the verdict I feared. "I'm afraid there are broken bones. You need to go to the hospital for an x-ray and to get the hand wrapped," he said.

I nodded and thanked him before pulling out my cell phone. I called Kevin and he took over making arrangements. They would get a limo brought around then come and get Nick and I.

Nick remained quiet and I sat silently beside him, remembering how it started.

I was busy with Leighanne, Kevin with Kristin and Howie was focusing on his other business. That left AJ and Nick alone during much of our down time. I'm not sure exactly when things changed, but eventually I noticed how they behaved together. Simple things like sitting closer together, choosing to room together in hotels, going out to bars together. Kevin and Howie soon noticed. All five of us sat down and dealt with it. At least that's what we thought. But Nick had fallen for AJ while AJ maintained that it was just for fun. The result was Nick began to demand more from AJ, but AJ wasn't willing to give more. A few months after the relationship began, AJ broke it off complaining Nick was too clingy. The rest of us thought Nick would fall apart, but he didn't. Instead he began to pick up people, male or female, it didn't matter. We thought he was just trying to make AJ jealous. But AJ didn't react as Nick had hoped. Instead of fighting for Nick, he withdrew. Until today, when he decided to fight back.

The locker room door opened and Kevin, Howie and one of our assistants came in.

"Markus and a limo are waiting out the back door," Kevin said, taking a quick look at Nick and realizing now was not the time to talk.

I nodded and gently prodded Nick to get up. He held his hand carefully and barely noticed Kevin and Howie.

Howie came around the other side of Nick and put his arm around his for support. I let Howie lead Nick out and dropped back to talk to Kevin.

"Where's AJ?" I asked.

Kevin sighed and shook his head. "No idea. He and that guy left as soon as he changed his clothes."

"Damn," I swore softly. "We need to do something Kevin. We've been sitting and watching for too long."

Kevin nodded. "I know. Lets get Nick fixed up first, then we'll deal with everything. I need to call management and get a few concerts postponed though if Nick has broken his hand."

"Okay, you do that. D and I will go with Nick and try to keep things quiet. I'll call you when I know what's going on," I said as we reached the waiting car.

"Alright. I'll call you if anything changes here," he said and I nodded.

I climbed into the car and it quickly sped off. I found myself sitting beside Howie while Nick was on the other side sitting beside Markus, leaning back with his eyes closed.

Howie leaned over. "So what's the plan?" he asked softly, keeping an eye on Nick.

"Kev is calling management to postpone some concerts. He doesn't know where AJ is so we can't do anything about that until later," I explained quietly. Howie nodded.

The rest of the trip to the hospital was quiet. We pulled up outside the emergency. Markus got out first to make sure fans hadn't followed us. I roused Nick and gently pushed him out. I think he was starting to go into shock slightly so I kept my arm around him as we walked into the waiting room. Howie went to the desk and explained the situation. A nurse came around and led us back to a cubicle. Howie and Markus stayed in the waiting room since the cubicle was so small.

Nick laid down on the gurney gently resting his arm on his stomach. I sat in the hard chair beside him.

"I thought…I thought if I could make him jealous he would realize he loves me and needs me," Nick whispered. "I…I never thought," his breath hitched and he sniffled. "I never thought he would find someone else."

I gently touched his shoulder. "Oh Nicky. Of course he cares about you. Why do you think he goes out and gets drunk every time you bring someone new home? You just never gave him a chance to process his feelings. Instead he was faced with seeing you with other people constantly."

Nick opened his eyes and looked at me. "I never meant to hurt him Bri. I love him so much. Why can't he love me back?" he asked as tears began to fall again.

Before I could answer the curtain was pulled back and a doctor walked in. Things began to happen quickly then. The doctor ordered an x-ray. An orderly brought a wheelchair and wheeled Nick down to the x-ray department. I insisted on following, not wanting Nick to be alone. Back up in the ER, the doctor took a quick look at the x-ray to confirm his suspicions. Nick had broken two fingers and a couple of bones in the top of his hand. The fingers were splinted and the hand quickly wrapped.

In just over an hour from the time we arrived, we were leaving the hospital. Nick was groggy but pain free thanks to the drugs the doctor had given him. I had a prescription to fill in the morning for Tylenol(r) 3's to help control the pain.

Markus and Howie helped me get Nick back into the hotel and up to his room. We pulled off his shoes and jeans before he crashed onto the bed, sound asleep. I covered him with the blanket before turning out the light, closing the door and walking down the hall to Kevin's room.

I knocked on the door and walked in when Kevin called for me to enter. He was sitting on the bed talking on the phone. >From the tone of the conversation he was having trouble convincing people to postpone the tour.

"Listen to me!" he nearly shouted. "This is our decision. If it were one concert, I'd say okay. But I don't know how long Nick will miss. He's going to miss at least the next four dates. So there is no question about postponing them. We will re-evaluate the situation in a few days to decide about future dates." He listened to the person on the other phone. "Okay. Fly the doctor out and he can give you a complete medical report. Right. Bye." He hung up and looked at me. "So how is he?"

I sat down on the foot of the bed. "Two broken fingers and two other bones in his hand are broken. The fingers are in splints. The doctor gave him some painkillers at the hospital and a scrip for Tylenol(r) 3's. He's sleeping right now," I told Kevin. He stretched and looked at the clock. I was surprised to see that it was nearly 2:30 am. "Any sign of AJ?" I asked.

Kevin shook his head. "No. He slipped away from Greg, so who knows."

I frowned. That was more than stupid to lose his bodyguard. "I guess all we can do is wait till morning then." I stood up and walked towards the door. "Why don't we all get together for lunch tomorrow about 12:30 and try to deal with this?" I suggested.

"Sounds good, Bri. See you later," he said. I nodded and left the room. I paused outside Nick's room and listened. It sounded like he was still asleep.

I was tired, but too wired to go to bed. I made the decision to go down to the hotel lounge and get a drink, non-alcoholic. I pushed the button for the elevator and waited. The bell dinged and I stepped forward, only to come face to face with AJ. He was leaning heavily against the side of the elevator and the smell of smoke and liquor poured off of him.

"Hey, hey Bri!" he slurred. "How's it going buddy?"

I frowned. "Not bad now that Nick is back from the hospital," I said bluntly, deciding to try the shock factor on him.

It worked. His eyes popped opened. "Wha? What happened?" he demanded.

I grabbed his arm to steady him and walked back down the hall to his room. "Bri! Tell me!" he said loudly.

"Sshhh! AJ be quiet. I'll tell you when we get in the room," I said harshly.

He stumbled into the room and made his way to the bed where he sat on the end and looked at me.

I shook my head. "AJ are you even going to remember anything I say?"

"Tell me!" he said resting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands.

I sat down on one of the chairs. "Fine. When you came back with that guy, Nick got upset. He went down to the gym, and in frustration he punch a wall. He broke two fingers and a couple of other bones. The next few concerts are postponed and we're not sure how long he'll be out," I told him the facts.

"Shit," he said quietly.

"Yeah shit. He loves you AJ. He was trying to make you jealous, but you never reacted the way he wanted. He was so sure you loved him that it was quite a blow when you showed up with that guy," I explained. AJ didn't say anything. "AJ, you need to figure things out, soberly. If you honestly don't love Nick, tell him straight out so he will stop hoping. But if you do love him, then what the hell are you going to do about it? You need to deal with it, not hide behind a bottle."

"I wish my Grandma was here," he whispered. I knew he was missing her. She had passed away a month ago. AJ had always been close to her. I think he often talked to her about Nick and his feelings for Nick. Now that sounding board was gone and he couldn't cope.

I walked over to the bed and knelt in front of him. "AJ I know you miss her. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. But hurting yourself isn't going to make things better." I stood and pulled him to his feet. I hugged him tightly. "Try to get some sleep. We're going to have a group meeting at lunch. This has to be discussed and some kind of decision reached. Just remember AJ, we love you. You are our brother and no matter what, we are here for you and for Nick."

AJ pulled back and wiped a tear from his cheek. "Thanks Bri," he said softly. "I know things need to change. I guess I have some thinking to do," he added thoughtfully.

I smiled and nodded. "Good. But try to get some sleep first okay? Things will look a little better after some sleep and when you're sober," I said gently.

He smiled wanly. I walked over to the door and let myself out. A glance at my watch showed that it was 3 am. I decided against going down stair and walked to my room. I wanted to catch a few hours of sleep before we confronted everything. Once I was in bed I remembered about the prescription for Nick. I called down to reception. The man who answered promised to take care of it and deliver the medicine in the morning.

A loud buzzing sound woke me. I realized it was my alarm and reached over to turn it off. It was 11:45 and I had to be at Kevin's room by 12:30. I wondered what the day would bring as I rolled off the bed and into the bathroom for a quick shower.

I pulled on some old jeans and a sweatshirt before heading out the door. I stopped at Nick's room. I couldn't hear anything so I decided to make sure he was okay. I unlocked the door and walked in. I could see that Nick was still stretched out on the bed. I walked over and noticed a bottle of pills on the bedside table. The hotel had obviously delivered it. Gently, trying not to startle him, I shook his shoulder.

"Nick?" I said softly.

Nick groaned, but eventually opened his eyes. "Bri? What?" he asked groggily as he sat up careful of his hand.

"Hey. How's the hand?" I asked.

He grimaced. "Not bad. Someone from the hotel brought me the pills about 8. I took a couple of them and fell back asleep. The doctor said for the first couple of days to take them every four hours to keep the pain away. Only problem is they make me want to sleep," he murmured before yawning. He looked exhausted.

"Well we are planning a group meeting in about twenty minutes. Do you think you are up to it? It's just in Kevin's room," I said.

Nick looked over at the clock, then nodded. "Yeah, okay. I need to take more pills and grab a quick shower, then I'll be there," he said as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed. "I won't be too long," he promised. He walked slowly over to the bathroom, but turned back to me. "Thanks for everything you did last night Bri. I know I've been acting like an idiot. I'm sorry."

I smiled gently. "We'll figure it all out Nick. See you at Kev's," I said and left him to clean up.

I walked into Kevin's, shocked to find AJ already there. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept at all. But he had showered and changed. The two were deep in conversation when I arrived, but stopped talking when they saw me.

"Morning B," Kevin said quietly.

"Hi guys. What's up?" I asked curiously.

"Um can we wait till the others get here?" AJ said quietly, not quite willing to meet my eyes. He was remarkably subdued and I was a little concerned.

I nodded. "Sure. I imagine Howie will be here in a minute. Nick might be a little late. The pain pills really knock him out and I just got him up. But he said he would definitely be here." AJ nodded and walked back to the table where Kevin had a pot of coffee from room service. Once he had his coffee he walked over to the sliding glass doors. I poured myself a coffee and sat down beside Kevin. My cousin looked worried and I wondered what had happened.

Howie arrived at that moment, and greet the three of us. Kevin explained that we were going to wait for Nick because AJ had something he wanted to say to all of us. Howie nodded in agreement and got himself a drink.

The next knock at the door was five minutes later. I was surprised because I didn't think Nick could be ready that quickly. Kevin walked over to the door. I was completely shocked when Jeff, from our management team, walked in. I stood up to object because it was supposed to be a group meeting. Kevin stopped me.

"Just wait Bri. AJ asked me to invite Jeff. He's only staying for the first part of the meeting, to hear what AJ has to say," Kevin explained. I wasn't happy, but couldn't object if AJ wanted him there. I didn't have a problem with Jeff, but our group meetings normally only included the five of us so we could be completely honest with each other without the risk of people starting rumors or telling our personal business.

I nodded my acceptance and returned to my seat. The room remained quiet. AJ continued to stare out the window, while Howie sat on the floor watching the muted TV. Kevin and Jeff sat at the table silently.

About ten minutes later, the door opened and Nick walked in. He didn't look much better than AJ.

"Hey guys!" he greeted us, his usual exuberance missing. He paused when he saw Jeff. "Uh, hi Jeff," he said cautiously.

"Hi Nick," Jeff said and walked over to him. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Nick shrugged. "Honestly? I'm not feeling too much of anything right now. Once I cut back on the pills I imagine I'll feel like shit," he said with a slight grin.

I watched Nick and Jeff from the corner of my eye. My main focus was AJ. The moment Nick had walked in, AJ had tensed. He finally turned from the window, his expression carefully schooled.

"Um, can we start, please?" he pleaded quietly, making everyone turn to look at him. He remained by the window while the rest of us sat. "I really need to do this before I lose my nerve okay? So just let me speak then you guys can talk." We nodded but I don't think he noticed. "I know all of you have noticed that I've been acting different the last month or so. I don't have a simple reason for it. When Nick and I broke up, I was upset." AJ never noticed our shocked expressions as he revealed their hidden relationship to someone else.

Jeff just shrugged, obviously not overly concerned. AJ continued. "I may not have shown it, but I was. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking to my Grandmother about what I should do." He paused to take a deep breath. "Then she died." His voice began to quaver. "Since then, I've just felt lost, completely unconnected. I miss her so much I just don't know how to accept that she's gone. Everything has just become harder and harder. Losing myself in alcohol seemed so easy. Go out and get drunk, it numbed all the pain I was feeling. It numbed the fact that I had lost Nick." I continued to watch silently as tears began to spill down AJ's face. "I was so confused about my feelings, that I never realized that Nick really loved me; until last night. When I came back from the bar, I encountered Brian. He told me what happened to you, Nick. I'm sorry my own confusion and pain caused you injury, both physical and emotional," AJ said directly to Nick. He wiped his face and inhaled deeply trying to regroup.

He turned to look out the window. "What Brian said to me last night made me think. I took a long hard look at my actions and myself. I didn't sleep all night. I sat up staring out the window, wondering what I had become. That's when I realized something." He turned back to us. "I need help. I need help dealing with my Grandma's death. And I need help because I'm using alcohol as a crutch. I don't want it to take over my life. I want my life back," he cried as sobs began to wrack him.

That was it. I jumped up and rushed over to him, wrapping my arms around him. Soon, the others followed and we hugged him tightly, reminding him that we loved him and always would. I barely noticed as Jeff, then Kevin withdrew. I could hear them behind me talking quietly. Hard decisions needed to be made, immediately. Our number one priority was AJ. Whatever he needed to get back in control of his life, we would do.

"AJ?" Kevin asked from behind me. I pulled back, as did Howie and Nick, but all three of us continued to hold onto AJ. "What do you need us to do?" Kevin asked calmly.

AJ took a steadying breath. "I think I need some time off, Kev. I thought maybe a rehab facility where I can get the alcohol out of my system and maybe talk to someone about everything."

I was impressed. I could tell that he really had thought about the direction his life was taking, and realized he didn't like that direction.

Kevin nodded. "Ok AJ. Jeff and I will see what we can arrange and get back to you about options. Now, what about the fans?" he asked.

That was a tough question, and I looked back at AJ.

"You know the company is going to want you to bury this," Jeff commented. "But I'll support anything you decide."

AJ smiled his thanks. "I think we should be honest. I have a problem and I'm sure I'm not the only person dealing with this kind of thing. If we try to hide it from the fans, then it gets out," he shook his head. "Its not worth it. We are already postponing some concerts because of Nick's hand, right?" he asked, looking at me. I nodded. "Then why can't we postpone a few more? I don't want to cancel them. Our fans shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes," he added.

I was so proud of our boy! Kevin nodded and left the room with Jeff. I glanced at Nick and Howie and recognized the need for Nick and AJ to have a conversation. Howie must have seen the same thing because he stepped back at the same time I did. AJ looked up at Nick, meeting his eyes.

"Hey Nicky," he said softly.

"Hey J," Nick replied just as softly.

"Will you do something for me?" AJ asked. Nick nodded. "Will you give me a couple of days to process all this? I know we need to sit down and talk, but my thoughts are so chaotic right now that I just don't think I can deal with `us'," AJ said sincerely and waited for Nick's reaction.

I couldn't see Nick's expression but he finally nodded. "Okay, J. But just remember one thing," he said and leaned closer to AJ. "I love you," he whispered so quietly that I barely heard it. Nick kissed AJ's cheek and stepped back. He turned around and walked out of the room, not looking back.

I watched AJ smile to himself before he sat down. I looked at Howie and smiled. "I don't know about you two, but I'm starved. Want me to order some food?" I asked them.

Howie and AJ grinned and nodded. I found out what they wanted and picked up the phone. As we waited for the food we talked quietly.

"AJ, I have to tell you. I'm really proud of you," I finally said.

He looked at me in surprise and confusion. "Why? I've fucked up my life and could have taken you guys down with me," he said in self-disgust.

I smiled and shook my head. "No man. You realized you have a problem and are getting help before it destroys you. Most people would simply continue to fall until they kill themselves or some one else. It took guts for you to face us today. And I'm impressed."

AJ actually blushed. "I agree with Bri, AJ. You've done good. And in the end you'll come back stronger, so we will all be stronger," Howie said.

AJ changed the subject until the food arrived. We had just begun to eat when Kevin and Jeff came back. They joined us at the table but let us finish eating before the conversation turned serious again.

Jeff spoke first. "Okay AJ. We have postponed the dates during the rest of July and a couple in August. They'll be rescheduled for September. We've arranged for the others to be on just before TRL tomorrow with John Norris and make the announcement." He turned to look at Kevin.

"I've found a couple of centers that can take you immediately, as in later today, if you're willing. They both have thirty day programs available and extremely good privacy policies," Kevin said handing AJ a piece of paper with names on it. "AJ, have you talked to Denise yet?" he asked.

AJ nodded. "Yeah, I called her very early this morning and told her what I was going to do. She offered to come out and join me on tour, but I told her I needed something more professional. Thanks for getting this information Kevin. Which place did you like better?" he asked my cousin.

"Just from talking to the manager at each place, I think the first would be better, but it's your choice," Kevin replied.

AJ grinned. "I'll take your word. The first it is."

"Come on, I'll help you make arrangements," Kevin offered. They left for AJ's room.

"Well, I'm going to go deal with Jive and arrange for some PR people to be available. You guys may want to decide what you're going to say on TRL tomorrow," Jeff suggested.

"Thanks for all your help Jeff," Howie said. Jeff smiled and left. "Suppose we should track down Nick?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah. Make sure he's okay, and let him know what the plan is." We left Kevin's room and knocked on Nick's door. There was no answer so we decided to split up. Howie would check the restaurant and bar, while I went to the gym and pool.

I found Nick sitting on the bleachers watch people swim laps in the pool. I climbed up and sat beside him. I waited for him to speak, and finally he did.

"How's AJ?" he asked quietly, his eyes never leaving the pool.

"I think he'll be okay. Kevin and he are calling right now to book him into a rehab center. He'll leave today for a month. We're going to postpone the tour till August," I told him. Nick just nodded. "Jeff has us scheduled for TRL tomorrow to tell everyone," I added.

Nick looked at me in surprise. "We're going to tell the truth?" he asked.

I smiled. "Yeah. It was AJ's decision. Jeff supports it and so do Kevin, Howie and I. Do you?"

Nick was quiet for a minute. "Yeah, I support anything J wants to do. I don't know if I can talk about it though," he said softly. "Everything is so raw right now. I don't know where I stand with AJ. And my hand is bothering me," he said softly.

I put my arm around his shoulders. "Just come on the show with us. You don't have to say too much. Just being there will show you support AJ," I encouraged.

"Okay." That was all he said.

I sat with him for a while longer, then decided to head back upstairs to see how arrangements were going. "You going to come up with me?" I asked.

Nick shook his head. "No, you go ahead. I…I can't face him right now. Tell him to call me when he wants to talk and I'll be right there," he added.

I agreed and went back to our rooms. AJ's door was open and I looked in, finding he and Kevin packing, while Howie looked on.

"Need any help?" I offered.

Kevin and AJ looked at me and shook their heads. "Nah. We're just finishing. A car is coming in a few minutes to pick me up," AJ said as he closed and zipped his suitcase. "Did you find Nick?" he asked as he turned to me.

I nodded. "Yeah. He asked me to tell you that when you are ready to talk, call him and he'll come immediately," I said, relaying Nick's message.

AJ smiled sadly. "Is he okay?" he asked softly.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug. "He's fine AJ. Don't worry about him. You take care of yourself and we'll take care of Nick until you are ready to take care of each other," I said quietly.

"Thanks B," AJ whispered and hugged me tighter before releasing me. He grabbed his sunglasses and hat before checking the rest of the room. Nothing was left behind. He turned back to Kevin, Howie and I. "You guys be good on TRL tomorrow okay? I want to hear that you gave John a hard time," he added with a grin, making us all laugh quietly.

None of us wanted to say goodbye. AJ finally took the initiative and walked over to the door. He paused, but didn't look back. "I'll see you guys soon," he murmured and quickly left the room.

Nothing at MTV had changed since we'd last been there. We waited in the back room anxious for it to be over. No one but MTV people knew we were there. As far as anyone knew, we were still on tour moving on to our next concert. I wondered how our fans would react to the news. I hoped for AJ's sake that people were supportive. It wasn't an easy thing he was doing, and he didn't need anyone coming down on him.

I glanced at Nick who was sitting quietly on the couch. He had barely spoken to any of us since he came back to the rooms in the hotel after AJ left. He simply wandered around looking lost, and I couldn't tell how much of that was caused by the pain pills or by AJ's leaving.

The word finally came that we could go into the studio. The studio audience was shocked when Kevin made the announcement. We tried to answer questions as honestly as possible. I don't know as Nick said more than ten words the entire time. Fortunately, everyone's reaction seemed to be supportive. Fans sent best wishes to AJ for a speedy recovery, and I knew that would make him feel better. I just wished we could help Nick too.

Once back in the greenroom, Nick flopped down on the couch while the rest of us decided what to do next. I looked up as a cell phone rang. Nick reached into his pocket and pulled his out.

"Hello," he said tiredly. "Hi," he murmured as he sat up. "I miss you too.... I didn't know what to say. I was afraid I was going to start to cry," he admitted. I knew it was AJ on the phone. "No visitors for five days? Really?...Saturday? I can do that....Of course its not a problem J. I said I would be there and I meant it....I think one day at a time is a perfect idea, J....Okay, I hope the counselor helps. I'll see you on Saturday. Oh and AJ? I love you." I watched and waited and sighed with relief when I saw the broad smile cross Nick's face.

Thanks for reading! Kenitra:-)