Well, it’s been about year since I last posted an update to the story, and what a year it’s been!

I apologize to all my fans about not being able to post another chapter until now. My life has been busier than ever before. Things have been going at the speed light. I don’t think I ever recall any other year in my life that has been as busy as this one has.

So many things have happened. Brian Litrell got married. I was shocked when I heard that, I had always hoped he was “on the other team,” but I suppose I knew better. Alas, all disappointment aside, I will make this short and sweet.

Thanks to everyone who has read the story and sent me an e-mail, it’s always meant a lot to me. I’m not making any promises as to when I’ll write another section, but hopefully, it’ll be sooner, rather than later.

As always, this story isn't meant to
imply anything about the sexuality of
any member of the Backstreet Boys.

I want to especially thank Matt, Todd, Brad, Justin, and of course Sher for being such good friends. A guy couldn’t ask for any better!



or take a look here:


Be With Me Brian Chapter 8

By Daniel

The hospital was a busy place. People were coming and going every waking second. Every so often a doctor would run by, obviously in a hurry, disregarding the people in his or her way.

Brian hated the hospital. It gave him an eerie, sickening feeling that he could not brush off. The cold, sterile, atmosphere was unsettling. The worst thing, Brian thought to himself, was the smell. He wasn’t sure what it could be compared to. It was an irreproducible scent that could only be found in a hospital.
Every doctor, nurse and person working in the hospital wore a bright cheerful lab coat; covered with flowers and roses. It was so odd. Brian had always equated the hospital with a place of loss and suffering. Why did everyone wear such “happy” attire? Were they trying to disillusion people?

The pay phones were extremely far away from Andy’s room; 14 floors. Brian debated in his head whether or not to go back to Andy’s room. He figured that Andy was more than likely asleep, and he didn’t want to disturb him. The evening was turning into night. It was 10 P.M., and the weather was extremely warm. Brian went outside and stood on the top floor of the gigantic parking ramp. Because of Brian’s fear of heights, he sat with his back to the edge of the parking ramp. Brian stared straight up to the sky. Sweat trickled down his back, face, and arms. It was extremely hot and humid. The bright moon shone its bright light on Brian. He kept a focus on the glowing sphere in amazement. It looked so cold, lifeless and lonely.

Brian returned his attention back to Earth. He pulled something out of his pocket. It was a pack of Newport cigarettes and a lighter. Not many people knew that Brian used to smoke. He had successfully quit when he was 19; only when something was bothering him tremendously, would he have a cigarette or two to calm his nerves.

Brian lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. As he exhaled the smoke, he drew a hand to his forehead and leaned on his arm. Almost suddenly he began crying. He knew Andy had made it through the surgery successfully, but the ordeal of the operation was not yet over. There would probably be a lengthy rehabilitation period, and Brian wasn’t sure how he would get time off from the Backstreet Boys to be with his young lover. Brian finished the cigarette and sat, still crying. The humidity had risen, and the sky was becoming cloudy.

Brian felt the wet droplets beginning to fall on his face. After a few moments, the droplets turned into a heavy downpour of rain. It was a thunderstorm, not uncommon weather for Florida. Lightening lit the sky as the rain fell, and the crackling thunder blocked out the sounds of the city below. Brian continued to sit as the rain soaked his entire body. The rain felt very refreshing. Brian shut his eyes and pointed his face towards the sky.

Howie entered his hotel room, and wanted to exit right away. The room obviously had the air-conditioning turned off; in fact, it felt as though the heat had been turned on. He began to sweat almost immediately.

“Man, its freakin’ hot in here,” Howie said to himself as he sat down on the sofa. He remembered Nick and went into the bedroom. Nick lay in his bed, his eyes barley open.

“Hi D,” Nick struggled to say as he lay in the bed, covered by several thick layers of blankets.

“Feeling any better?” Howie asked sincerely.

“I feel worse, and I’m still freezing. I know this sounds kind of corny, but I wish my mom were here right now,” Nick said in a slow, raspy voice. His throat was obviously dry.

The lights in the room went off momentarily, and thunder could be heard, vibrating the entire structure of the hotel.

“I hate storms,” Nick whispered softly.

“I’m so worn out after that rehearsal,” Howie yawned as he sat in a chair next to Nick’s bed.

“If its too warm in here, you could go sleep in Brian’s room; he won’t be in there tonight, and the air-conditioning is probably on” Nick suggested.

“No, that’s okay, I’ll stay here with you in case you need something,” Howie said as he pulled off his shoes and socks.

“Well, right now I could really use a drink of water,” Nick innocently requested.

“Sure,” Howie said as he stood to his feet and went to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water and pouring it in a glass.

After Nick took a long gulp of water, he put his head back on the pillow and smiled at Howie, who sat on the edge of the bed.

“What?” Howie raised an eyebrow; he was confused as to why Nick was smiling at him.

“Nothing,” Nick responded quickly, “well, actually...”

“Actually what?” Howie asked.

Nick hesitated.

“C’mon, tell me,” Howie persisted.

“Well.....have you ever thought about making love to another guy?” Nick asked timidly.

“Fuck no!” Howie made a disgusted face with his answer.

Nick lost his smile and looked down at the blue-and-white blanket that was covering him. He was embarrassed that he had even breached the topic. Howie knew what Nick was trying to say.

“Oh Jesus Nick! You’re gay too?!?” Howie asked in disbelief.

“I’m not gay....well...I’m not really sure what I am,” Nick struggled to explain, “I find women attractive, but I guess I could find a guy attractive too.”

“Well, I hope for Christ sake that ‘guy’ isn’t me!” Howie made a joke of Nick’s confession.

Nick didn’t see the humor and frowned.

“I’m gonna go to bed now. Would you like anything else before I go to sleep?” Howie asked as he stood and removed his shirt and pants, leaving only his boxers on.

“No,” Nick answered solemnly and turned over away from Howie. He was insulted because Howie brushed off his confession in such a rude way.

Howie turned off the light and got into his bed. It continued to rain outside. He fell asleep watching the spectacular lightning show that nature presented to him.

Brian was drenched from head to foot. The rain continued to fall as he sat outside in the parking ramp. His cigarette had long since fizzled out in the rain and he discarded it on the pavement. Only a few cars were parked on the top level of the ramp. He sat in a shallow puddle of water the rain had created. It was mixed with oil from perhaps a leaking car. He was still upset, but knew he had to be strong for Andy. It had been almost an hour since the rain began and Brian was afraid that Andy was worrying about where he was, or that he was lonely.

In lieu of taking the elevator back to Andy’s room, he took the stairs, which took a little longer, but gave him a sounder peace of mind, considering his fear for elevators. Brian entered Andy’s room only to discover that Andy wasn’t there. Brian immediately panicked. The bed was gone and Andy with it.

“Oh fuck,” Brian choked out through the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes as he rushed out into the hallway and down to the nurse’s desk.

“Where’s Andy?” Brian hollered at the middle-aged woman sitting at the blue and white desk, wearing thick glasses.

“You mean the young man in room 257?” she asked.

“Yeah, where is he?” Brian asked desperately?

“About twenty minutes ago he stopped breathing, and he was put on an emergency respirator and rushed to the intensive care unit.”

Before allowing the nurse to finish he immediately cut in and shouted “What floor?”

“Eight,” The nurse answered while staring at the visibly upset Brian.

Brian frantically turned around and ran as fast as he could to the nearest elevator. He pressed the “down” button repeatedly; in hopes it would make the elevator get there faster. The doors finally parted and Brian got on the elevator. He pressed floor eight and wiped the tears from his red eyes.
When the elevator arrived at floor eight, Brian exited and found himself in a large room with a large information desk with a single nurse sitting at it.

“Where is Andy?” Brian asked the nurse sitting and working on some paperwork.

“Are you referring to Mr. Moeller?” The nurse asked.

“Yes, where is he?” Brian asked with deep emotion.

“Are you a family member?” she questioned as she dropped the pen she was using on her desk and looked at Brian.

“Well, no, not exactly,” Brian answered.

“Then I’m sorry, you cannot see him. Only family members are allowed in the intensive care unit to visit patients,” The nurse continued, almost uncaringly.

“You don’t understand, I’m not just a friend,” Brian explained, crying.

“I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do. If you’re not a family member, you cannot see him. Its hospital policy, not my rule,” The nurse tried to sound friendly, even though she was being very cruel to Brian.

“I’ll find him myself,” Brian walked past her desk and looked down the hall to find which room Andy was in.

The nurse immediately picked up her telephone and called security. Brian didn’t care, he needed to find Andy. Brian saw two men behind him; both in blue T-shirts with the hospital logo on the front coming near him, fast. Brian saw Dr. Jeske exiting a room. He knew that it had to be Andy’s room. He ran towards the door, but as he did, he tripped and the two security men grabbed him and pulled him to his feet.

“What’s going on here?” Dr. Jeske demanded.

The nurse from the Intensive Care information desk stood behind the two men.

“This man came down this hall without clearance. He’s not a family member to Mr. Moeller, and I told him he wasn’t allowed to come back here, but he did anyway,” the nurse explained in a condescending tone.

The two security guards held Brian’s arms tightly.

“Let him go,” Dr. Jeske said in a quickly angering tone.

“But he’s not allowed to be back here,” the larger of the two guards stated.

“Who’s in charge here, you or I?” Dr. Jeske asserted his authority, “now let him go I said!”

The guards let him go and walked away, back down the long hall and around the corner.

“Wanda, you can go back to your desk,” Dr. Jeske said. She complied.

Brian began to walk forward and attempted to enter the room Andy was in, but Dr. Jeske blocked his way.

“I need to see Andy,” Brian said, begging to enter the room. Wet tears ran down his face spoke.

“Brian, that can wait. He’s asleep right now, and we need to talk about some things,” Dr. Jeske said as he turned and walked into a small room with a sofa, a chair and a box of tissue on a small coffee table.

Brian sat on the sofa and Dr. Jeske took a seat in the chair directly across from him.

“Now Brian, the situation has changed drastically. Andy quit breathing. I’m afraid I may or may not have punctured his lung during the surgery and caused him to have this episode,” Dr. Jeske explained in a fatherly tone, “I had to put a tube down his trachea into his lungs which allows him to breath. It will have to stay in for a while until I’m sure that he is well enough to breathe on his own.”

“What’s going to happen to him?” Brian asked sorrowfully.

“That depends on how things turn out. I can’t really say right now, we just have to give him a little time,” Dr. Jeske answered honestly.

“Let me see him at least,” Brian requested.

“He’s been ‘put under’ so to speak, and we won’t revive him until we know for sure what to do. I just want you to know that before you go in there that he won’t be conscious,” Dr. Jeske explained.

Brian solemnly nodded his head and stood.

“You can go sit with him if you like, I’ll make sure that no one asks you to leave,” Dr. Jeske said as he exited the room.

Brian cracked the door to Andy’s new room in the ICU and slowly entered. It was fairly dark, there was a small light originating in the corner of the room; a florescent light. Andy lay in a bed with at least a dozen different tubes and wires coming from his body. Above Andy was a computer monitor with some readings on it. There was a bar graph, a heart monitor, and a line in green that Brian couldn’t decide what exactly it was monitoring.

Beside the bed was a huge white machine, the size of a person with tubes coming out of it that went directly into Andy’s mouth. It was the respiration machine. Every time Andy inhaled and exhaled the machine made a soft beeping noise and showed a little graph on its LCD screen. The machine was very intimidating to look at.

The room was virtually empty except for the bed, the three machines, and a black, leather upholstered chair. Brian sat in the chair and gently touched Andy’s hand, which was black and blue and had an I.V. needle coming out of it. Andy’s hand looked so fragile and small compared to his own. It was too much to bear, as he did before he broke down and began crying again, this time more intensely. He was angry with himself; angry for leaving Andy to go outside and smoke a cigarette while Andy stopped breathing.

Brian scooted his chair closer to the bed, and gently laid his head next to Andy’s unconscious body. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.

“Feeling better?” Howie asked as he saw Nick emerge from the bedroom of their hotel suite.

“Yeah, a little,” Nick said, blushing slightly. He was still embarrassed about his ‘confession’ from the previous night, and felt very awkward around Howie.

Nick poured himself a glass of orange juice and sat down on a chair, opposite of Howie.

“I wonder how Andy and Brian are doing,” Howie mentioned, wanting to break the eerie silence in the room.

“Yeah, me too,” Nick said as he sipped the juice.

The room was silent for at least ten minutes, Howie pretended to look in a magazine and Nick stared at the carpet. A sense of awkwardness filled the room, but no one spoke up.

“Look, Nick,” Howie began, “If you’re bi, or gay, or whatever, that’s fine - just don’t hit on me, cuz I don’t swing it that way. I won’t tell the rest of the guys if you don’t want me too.”

Nick looked pissed all of a sudden, “Hit on you!!! What the fuck are you talking about! The only reason I told you is because you’re my friend, not because I want to fuck you!” Nick angrily got up and put his glass in the sink, almost breaking it.

Howie sat dumbfounded; he knew that he had really made Nick mad this time.

Nick came out of the bedroom dressed and with his cellphone in his right hand.

“Where are you going,” Howie asked Nick as he exited the room.

“Away from here, that’s for goddamned sure!” Nick rudely answered and slammed the door.

Howie was sorry that he had said anything at all.

Brian woke up and saw a nurse standing above him, pushing buttons on the computer screen above Andy. His cheek was in a pool of saliva that he had drooled on Andy’s blanket while he was asleep. The nurse turned around with her chart in hand, exiting the room, never realizing that Brian was in fact awake.

Brian sat up and looked at Andy to see if anything had changed, either for the better or worse. Nothing had. He looked the same as the previous night, his face pale and ghostly, his hair very messy.

Brian sat up further and noticed that Marie was in a chair on the other side of the bed, awake and looking at Andy. Though she was not crying, there were definite tears beginning to form in her eyes.

“Marie,” Brian said raspily, his throat was dry.

“Good morning Brian,” She said sadly, while in contrast trying to smile.

“Did you find Andy’s father?” Brian questioned.

“No, I’m afraid I didn’t. I called American Airlines, and he’s taken a flight back to our house,” Marie felt sick to her stomach.

“So, he’s gone?” Brian asked.

“Yes, he is,” she couldn’t hold back anymore and began to heavily sob, “I just don’ know what to do Brian; everything is collapsing around me. My husband left our son and me in a time of need, my son is gay and very ill. I don’t what else bad could possibly happen to my family.”

Brian watched as Marie sobbed into her hands, not knowing what he should do. He was glad Andy wasn’t awake to see his mother going to pieces. Tears began to form in his own eyes.

Brian drew his hand to his face and wiped away the tears. It was a sad scene. Both of them loved Andy very much, and both of them couldn’t do a thing to help him, except wait and see what would happen next. Brian didn’t care about his career, money, or even his own life, he just wanted Andy to wake up and smile at him.

Marie and Brian sat and watched over Andy for hours, not speaking to one another. There was a mutual silence that added to the uncomfortable atmosphere of the hospital.

“Brian, If you’ll excuse me, I have to use the restroom, I will be right back,” Marie got up and exited the room. Brian sat and continued to watch Andy; his chest slowly rising and falling. Marie reentered the room and sat down. She was no longer crying, but her eyes were red and bloodshot, indicating that she recently had been.

“Would you like a stick of gum?” Marie asked as she dug through her purse and found a pack of winterfresh gum.

“No thanks,” Brian answered politely.

Marie was tired of the silence and began a conversation.

“So, does your mother know about you and Andy? Or about you in general?” Marie asked.

“No, neither does my father for that matter.”

“Do you plan on telling her?”

“I know I’ll have to eventually, but I don’t know how she’ll take it. I hope she takes it as well as you have Mrs. Moeller. But like your husband, I think there is a good chance that my father would react the same way. He is a very “macho” type..and I think if he found out his son were gay he would be very upset. Its kind of hard to explain..”

“I know what you mean Brian,” Marie interjected, “My husband’s attitude towards gay people is probably similar to your father’s.”

“I just wish people were more accepting. Andy is a sweet, gentle person and I love him to death, it’s not just about sex! Our relationship is no different than any other person’s, except that we happen to be two guys.”

“You would make a good philosopher Brian,” Marie joked, “Its easy to see now that it is more than a physical relationship between you two. You just being here in Andy’s time of need proves that you truly do love him.”

Brian smiled at Marie.

Suddenly, without warning, Andy began to squirm in the bed, his eyes were open.

He kicked his legs and tried to move his arms. He thrashed his head wildly. Brian stood and walked over to Andy, as did Marie. Andy looked in pain and his eyes filled with tears. He was terrified with the tube that in his mouth and down his throat. He looked at Brian, almost as if he were begging for Brian to help him. He made a shrill noise as tears continued to run down his cheeks.

“Don’t try to talk,” Brian said as he grabbed Andy’s hand and held it tightly.

“Oh honey, don’t cry” Marie said, crying herself.

“I’m going to find a doctor,” Brian said and began to walk away, but Andy held his hand tighter, not allowing Brian to leave.

“I won’t go,” Brian said as he looked into Andy’s eyes.

Dr. Jeske entered and saw Brian and Marie standing on both sides of Andy.

“I see your awake Andy,” Dr. Jeske said as he walked over and stood next to Marie.

“Dr., can’t we take this respirator off of him? I think its hurting him,” Marie asked.

“I don’t know if he’d be able to breathe without the respirator on,” Dr. Jeske answered, “but we could do a little test to see if he is able to breathe without it.”

Dr. Jeske went over to the respiration machine and pressed a few buttons on it.

“I’m going to turn it off for a few seconds, and if he is able to take a breath on his own, we can safely remove the respiration tube,” Dr. Jeske explained.

“Alright,” Marie nodded.

Dr. Jeske pushed a button and the lights on the machine went off. Andy looked scared. Amazingly, Andy’s chest began to rise and fall. Brian sighed with relief.

“Well, it looks like you don’t need this machine,” Dr. Jeske beamed as he walked over to Andy, “I’ll remove the tube from your throat.”

Dr. Jeske grasped the tube, “Andy, on the count of three, I want you take a deep breath in and then blow out as hard as you can, okay?”

Andy meekly nodded that he understood.

“1, 2, 3” Dr Jeske said. He yanked the tube out of Andy’s throat as Andy blew out air. Andy began coughing heavily.

“Are you okay Andy?” Brian asked.

“I’m okay,” Andy’s voice sounded very raspy.

“You can probably be transferred out of Intensive care as long as your breathing has returned to normal. This is wonderful news, we were afraid that we were going to have to operate on you again to reconstruct your lung,” Dr. Jeske explained.

Dr. Jeske wrote some things on Andy’s chart and exited the room.

“He’s very odd; not saying anything before he exits a room, but nonetheless, a very good doctor,” Marie said.

“Could I get a drink of water?” Andy’s raspy voice spoke up.

“Of course,” Marie said. She took a small Dixie cup off the dispenser on the wall and filled it with water from the hand washbasin on the wall.

Andy drank greedily as his mother brought the cup to his lips. He was very thirsty.

“My throat hurts so bad,” Andy complained. The tears on his face had not yet dried, making him look very sad, “but I’m glad he took that tube out of my throat, you can’t imagine what its like not being able to scream or talk.”

Marie stroked her hand through Andy’s blonde hair, “How are you feeling honey?”

“My chest still really hurts, but beyond that, I’m okay,” Andy answered honestly.

“Did you bring dad with you?” Andy asked with wide eyes. Marie sighed and looked down at the floor for a moment, then returning her glance to Andy’s face.

“No, I’m sorry honey, he went back to Miami,” Marie Answered.

Andy turned his face away from his mother and closed his eyes, letting the tears began once again. His father’s actions were clearly hurting Andy inside very much.

“Oh,” Andy sighed sadly.

Nick sat and watched Matt Damon and Sandra Bullock kiss on the huge 50-foot screen. He really didn’t feel like shopping after his little fight with Howie, and decided to go and see a movie - it had been a while since he last saw one, and he heard that the particular one that he was watching was quite good.

Because it was dark, he took of his khaki hat and sunglasses. Nobody would notice who he was in the darkness of the theater.

When the movie finished, Nick put on the sunglasses and hat and exited. He didn’t want to go back to the hotel yet. He still had a lot of energy, so he decided he would go to a dance club.

Nick walked down the street and past this bar called, “Under the Rainbow.” A crowd of men was hanging around outside, some dressed in drag and some dressed in tight leather outfits. Nick figured, “what the hell” and went up to the door. Nick had never been in a gay club before.

The bouncer smiled at him and let him pass. Nick walked in and couldn’t believe how crowded it was inside. People were dancing everywhere, on tables, on the bar - everywhere. Dance and techno music was playing in the background as strobe lights pulsed in the charged atmosphere of the room. Nick sauntered his way to the bar, moving his body in sync with the beat of the dance music blaring through the speakers.

“What’ll it be cutie?” the obviously gay bartender asked in a feminine voice while flashing a seductive smile a Nick.

“I’ll just take a sprite and vodka on the rocks,” Nick answered while returning the smile. He was glad that no one had recognized him; luckily the hat and sunglasses concealed his identity very well.

The bartender quickly made Nick’s drink and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” Nick said. Nick paid and turned around to see the action in the bar. There were many, many gay men. Nick finished his drink and was just about to leave, deciding that stopping in the bar was a bad idea when a man approached him, smiling.

“Hey there,” the man said. He looked to be about the same age as Nick, short brown hair, brown eyes, and overall, extremely handsome.

“Hi,” Nick said cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

“I’m Jarrod,” he extended his hand for Nick to shake.


“Can I get you a drink Nick?” Jarrod asked as he sat down next to Nick at the bar.

“Um...sure,” Nick answered nervously.

Nick sipped on his drink while Jarrod sat next to him.

“Come here often?” Jarrod asked, trying to break the ice.

“Nope. My first time,” Nick answered.

“I come every once in a while myself. I haven’t been here in a while though; I just broke up with someone a couple of weeks ago, and haven’t been out on the town. We had been together since I graduated high school two years ago, and I found out he was cheating on me,” Jarrod explained.

“Sorry to hear that man,” Nick replied.

“Thanks. It’s okay though, I think I’ve gotten over him, for the most part,” Jarrod said solemnly.

“That good,” Nick said sincerely as he finished the last sip of his drink.

“Um...wanna dance?” Jarrod offered shyly.

“Sure,” Nick answered. They got up and made their way through the crowd to the main dance floor.

By the end of the night, Nick had drank 5 glasses of vodka and sprite, and 2 shots of hard liquor. He was usually not a big drinker; so needless to say, the alcohol had gotten him quite intoxicated. Jarrod, however, had not drunk as much, and was very much sober.

Nick was smiling and leaning on the bar, attempting not to fall on off his stool and onto the hard, cement floor.

“You are SOOOO cool man,” Nick chimed as he smiled at Jarrod, “I haven’t gotten this drunk in a long time!”

Jarrod smiled, “Thanks.”

“Well, I’d better be getting back to my hotel,” Nick slurred, unsteadily standing to his feet.

“You need a ride?” Jarrod asked.

“Yeah! That would be great!” Nick answered.

Jarrod and Nick went outside and walked to the parking lot, getting in Jarrod’s Chrysler Sebring convertible.

“Hot car,” Nick commented, getting in.

Jarrod put the top down and slowly drove out of the parking lot and onto the street. The cool breeze felt good flowing over Jarrod’s face.

“So, where you staying at?” Jarrod asked as he made a right turn. When Nick didn’t answer, he looked over and saw that Nick had either fallen asleep or passed out - Jarrod couldn’t decide which. It was almost 3 in the morning, and Jarrod was exhausted. He tried coaxing Nick awake, but Nick just groaned lightly. Jarrod gave up trying to wake Nick and decided to just go back to his apartment.

Jarrod pulled into his driveway of his apartment and got out. Jarrod helped Nick to his feet and walked him inside of his apartment. Jarrod nearly tripped over a box of stuff before turning on the lights and leading Nick over to the sofa.

Jarrod’s apartment was very much a slew of unpacked boxes; he had only moved in a few days ago, and had not yet been able to unpack most of his belongings.

Jarrod laid Nick’s body on the sofa. Jarrod put a pillow under Nick’s head and covered him with a blanket. As Jarrod pulled off Nick’s sunglasses, his jaw nearly dropped to the floor. NICK CARTER FROM THE BACKSTREET BOYS WAS LYING IN FRONT OF HIM!!!! Jarrod could not believe he didn’t notice who it was before.

A thought suddenly raced through Jarrod’s head, “They are going to think that I kidnapped him!”

Jarrod stood, still in disbelief, and went to his bedroom, shaking his head in worry about who was sleeping on the sofa in his living room. Jarrod turned the air conditioner as high as it would go, and peeled off his sticky clothes, leaving on only his boxer shorts. He was too tired to further contemplate what he was going to do about his houseguest. He decided he would straighten things out in the morning. He flopped on his unmade bed and immediately fell to sleep.

Brian sat in the comfortable chair the hospital staff had brought into Andy’s room for him to sit on, and began to think about an incident that happened back when he was in high school.

“Fucking fairy,” Jake laughed as he pushed Daniel to the ground, along with his books. Craig and Todd laughed along with Jake as they saw the boy crash to the ground, slamming his head into a locker.

“Oww!” Daniel winced in pain as he looked up at the three who had pushed him, all with smiles on their faces.

“Quit looking at us faggot!” Craig said as he kicked Daniel in the leg.

Brian walked toward his own locker to put his books away and go home. It had been a long day, and he wanted to get home to finish a big Spanish project he had, but noticed the small group near the end of the hall and someone laying on the ground. Brian went to investigate what was going on.

Brian saw Daniel, a kid everyone constantly picked on, and called “the fag,” crumpled up on the ground while Craig, the running back on the football team, kicked him in the stomach while Jake and Todd laughed.

“HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!” Brian screamed at the three boys, startling them with his presence.

“Fuck off Litrell, go bother someone else,” Jake said cockily.

“You’d better leave him alone, or else I’ll lay your ass out right here Jake,” Brian threatened.

Jake looked down at Daniel and then back at Brian.

“Fine, I’ll leave your little pansy-assed fairy alone - for now,” Jake smiled, and motioned for the other two to follow suit. Jake knew that Brian was much more popular and could make a lot of trouble for him if he were crossed. The three jocks walked away towards the exit of the school.

Brian knelt down and saw that Daniel was about to cry, but holding back.

“You okay?” Brian asked.

“I guess,” Daniel said solemnly, embarrassed by what had just happened with the three other young men.

Daniel got onto his knees and began to collect his papers and put them into his school bag. Brian tried to help by picking up a few papers himself.

“I’m really sorry that happened to you. Those guys are jerks, they’re dicks to everyone,” Brian said warmly.

Daniel didn’t answer, but just continued to shove papers into his school bag, pretending as if he hadn’t heard, although he had.

“Words aren’t antiques, you don’t’ have to hoard them,” Brian joked, commenting on Daniel’s silence.

Brian looked over at Daniel and could see that there were tears streaming down his face.

“I just don’t understand it. What have I ever done to anyone, why does everyone treat me like I’m the biggest loser that ever was?” Daniel was face was red with shame of crying in front of Brian, but he could no longer contain his emotion.

Daniel didn’t hold back his tears or frustration, and crammed his papers into his school bag frantically to escape the situation. Daniel stood and began to walk towards the doors at a brisk pace.

“Hey, wait,” Brian grabbed Daniel’s arm and stopped him.

“What?” Daniel asked semi-angrily, obviously wanting to leave.

“I’ll give you a ride home,” Brian stated, “I think we live kinda close to each other.”

“Um...okay” Daniel said cautiously, studying Brian’s face trying to figure out why he was being so nice to him.

The two got into Brian’s car and began the drive home.

“So, when did you move here?” Brian asked nonchalantly, trying to make conversation.

“This summer. I used to live in Colorado, but my dad was offered a much better job here,” Daniel answered, not making eye contact with Brian.

“I see,” Brian said, “Do you like it here?”

Daniel looked at Brian, raised an eyebrow and said sarcastically, “What do you think?”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Brian laughed slightly.

An awkward silence filled the car. Brian felt very odd. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. Daniel looked very nervous, he felt uncomfortable and fidgeted with his hands.

“Why don’t you just ask me what you’re thinking and get it over with,” Daniel finally said, annoyed.

“What would that be?” Brian pretended not to know what Daniel’s talking about.

Daniel sighed and said, “Ask me whether or not I’m a fag. I know that’s what you’re thinking. I can see it by the way you look at me. Isn’t that what everyone wants to know? Isn’t that what everyone already assumes I am, and treats me like shit for?”

Brian was speechless. He didn’t know if there was an appropriate response to what Daniel had just said, and if there was, he didn’t know how to word it.

Brian pulled the car to the side of the road and turned off the motor. Daniel was again red-faced.

“Daniel, I’m sorry about the shit you go through. I know it can’t be easy being different, but we don’t live in a perfect world,” Brian began, “You’ve gotta ignore guys like Todd, Craig, and Jake, they’re losers.”

Daniel bit his bottom lower lip and looked out the window.
Brian started the car and drove into Daniel’s driveway.

“Thanks for the ride,” Daniel said as he got out of the car.

“No problem, see you in school tomorrow,” Brian smiled.

“Yeah,” Daniel replied briskly as he walked toward his house.

Brian backed out of the driveway and went home.

The next day when he got to school, Brian learned that Daniel committed suicide that night; hanging himself in his basement because he was gay.

Well, that was chapter 8. I apologize about all the typos, no one was available to proofread it before I sent it in. IT WAS NOT THE END OF THE SERIES! Hehe. Even though I may not post an update for a long time, I want everyone to know that I’ll let you know when I’m finished writing the series. :-)

Hope you enjoyed it!



Please e-mail me. I’m sure you haven’t forgot how much I love it :-)


Also – take a quick look through the small, undeveloped site I made for the story..hehe