Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 21:29:19 EDT From: Lucas Thompson Subject: Because I Love You - 12 Author's Note: Well here goes nothing. This is my first story for all to read. Hopefully you'll find it interesting to say the least, and keep up with it. All of your comments and criticisms are appreciated. Please let me know what you think of the story. E-mail me at: rtstories@hotmail.com Well...Here it is folks...the beginning of the end of Part I to BILY...this is where all the excitement starts!!! The next few chapters should be out sooner than the previous ones. Shout out to Kelly who's going to be leaving for a while. Have a great time working at camp...and can't wait till you get back. Don't worry...I'll send you those care packages that will keep your addiction going!!! :) Legal Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction. It is purely derived from the mind of the author and in no way dictates the sexual orientation of any of the Back Street Boys. Only in my mind do I truly believe they're gay, and in love with me. Any similarity to real life, or to someone's life, is purely coincidental. It contains homosexual subject matter. If you're not into that, why not??? Gay porn/erotica is way hotter than heterosexual porn!!! Do not read any further if you are under the legal age for viewing this material in your country, state, province, city, town, suburb, home, shack, hole in the wall, cardboard box, van down by the river, trailer home, or room!!! End of Chapter Eleven ------------------------------- To: Nicky From: Ewan David McGovern Date: Monday, April 26, 1999 23:21:14 CST Subject: Beauty and the Beast Hey Beauty... You're Welcome!!! Just do me one favor. Stop thinking and just have fun with him!!! No...not that way. You know what I mean. Enjoy your day with the Beast...I mean Brian. I still don't get why you've fallen in love with that dwarf... While you're at it...try and stay away from the other seven dwarves while you're in Disney. I know how much short guys turn you on!!! Say Hi to Mickey for me!!! Always, Ewan ****************************************************************************** Because I Love You By: Lucas Chapter 12 "Nick...Nick...Are you up?" Brian whispered into the door of Nick's room, after knocking a few times. Unless the laws of physics had been significantly altered recently, there was no way Brian's voice could have been heard by Nick. That wasn't his concern though. It was Kevin's hearing that worried Brain. Just as he was about to knock again, Nick's door opened. Nick stood in the doorway and silently motioned for Brian to come in. As Brian walked passed him, Nick stuck his head out of the doorway, making certain no one had heard, or seen Brian. Satisfied that no one had been alerted, Nick closed the door and walked back into his room. "Did anyone see you?" Nick whispered as he made his way towards the bed. "No." Brian whispered in response. "Good." Nick bent down to put on his shoes. "Nick?" "Yeah?" "Why are we whispering?" Brian asked quietly. "I don't know. Why are you whispering?" "Cause you were whispering." "Okay. I guess we don't need to whisper then." Nick said, his voice returning to its normal volume. "I guess I'm just a little paranoid." "Yeah...me too. I thought about taking my shoes off as I walked down the hall, so no one would hear me. I don't think anyone could hear us in here though." Brian rambled on, failing to hide his nervousness. "Yeah, but we should still keep it down. Kev's right next door, and he's usually up this early." Nick took one last look at himself in the mirror before putting on his jacket. "You think he knows?" Brian asked. "Probably not, but we should get out of here soon before he calls to wake us up. When we don't answer the phone, you know he'll be over in a heartbeat." "Yeah. We should go then." Brian said with a chuckle, as he pictured the look on his cousin's face when he discovers that they've disappeared. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Nick asked with a growing smile on his face. "Yeah. He's gonna be pissed." "Yup. I'm glad we're not gonna be here when he finds out we're gone." Nick said, as he noticed an apprehensive look suddenly appear on Brian's face. "You sure you wanna do this? We can still back out if you want." "No way." Brian said, his conviction returning. "I hate going to those publicity meetings anyway." "Me too. Hey, don't get mad, but I told Howie where we're going today, and asked him to cover for us if he can." "Don't worry about it. I told A.J. last night. He's cool with it. He said that if he could talk D into it, they were gonna ditch today too." Brian said with a laugh. "Are you serious? Kev might be the only one at the meeting? Oh...He IS gonna be pissed then." Nick said, shaking his head and giggling. "It doesn't matter though. It's not like it's a really important meeting we're skipping out on. They just wanna plan publicity stuff for the new album anyway. Kev could handle that with his eyes closed. Besides, he's the only one who pays attention at those meetings anyway." Brian reasoned. "Yeah...Still, if we all ditch him...He's gonna be really, and I mean really, really pissed." Nick said, this time the hesitation registering on his face. "We could stay if you want." Brian said in consolation. A mischievous grin crept onto Nick's face. "Naaah. Let's go." Nick said, as he put on his sunglasses. Just as they were getting ready to walk out the door, the telephone rang. "Shit, that's him." Nick blurted out, as they rushed to open the door to make their way down the hall. They stood nervously, awaiting the arrival of the elevator. Brian continuously pushed the call button, while Nick looked back towards Kevin's room. The doors slid open, and they ran inside, laughing in relief. When the doors began to close, they leaned back and sighed. Just as they began to enjoy their daring escape, a hand slipped through the small slit between the elevator doors, causing them to slide open again. "Shit, he found out!!!" Nick said pensively to Brian, as he looked on in shock. To their surprise, as the doors fully opened, there stood A.J. and Howie. They hadn't noticed Nick and Brian in the elevator, because they were nervously looking back to make sure Kevin hadn't seen or heard them. Once they stepped inside, Howie quickly pushed the "Door Close" button, repeatedly saying, "Come on." When the doors finally closed, A.J. and Howie breathed in a sigh of relief. They had escaped. When Nick and Brian realized what was going on, they broke out into fits of laughter, alerting the other two truants of their presence. A.J. and Howie turned around as soon as they heard the noises. When they realized who it was that was in there with them, they too joined in the laughter. ****** Brian and Nick stepped out of the taxi they had taken to Disney World. They had both been there countless times with their families, and as a group, but never just the two of them. It was one of the perks of being based near "The Happiest Place on Earth." "How do you want to do this?" Brian asked. "I guess we could talk them into letting us in, and then we could use the whole 'BackStreet' thing to get an escort, in case we're noticed, and so we can get on the rides through the special entrances. That way, we don't have to wait in line then." Nick said. "Yeah, we could...but it wouldn't be as much fun. Waiting in line is part of the whole thrill of coming here. Plus, we have all day. I don't know about you, but I'm not really looking forward to seeing Kevin all pissy until tomorrow." "Okay, so we go in as normal people?" "I'll go in as a normal person," Brian said, "I don't know if they'll count you as 'normal' though." Brian joked. "Funny, little man...very funny...you think they'll give you a children's discount?" Nick asked. "You just might make the kids height requirement." "Oh, you'll pay for that one." Brian said as he moved towards Nick. "Bring it on." Nick said, along with the hand gesture, backing away from Brian's advances. "C'mon let's go. Last one in has to kiss Mickey!!!" Nick said excitedly, as he ran towards the ticket booth. ****** They were fortunate enough to choose a beautiful day for their little excursion. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the sun was shining bright, and surprisingly it wasn't unbearably hot. In a word...it was perfect. Brian was a bit apprehensive at first, because he still worried whether or not if Nick was still mad at him for what he had done last weekend. Since it happened, Brian beat himself up over it, chastising himself for even doing it. He was happy when Nick agreed to come with him to Disney World. He thought to himself how he'd have to thank Ewan personally for suggesting the idea. Ewan told Brian how much Nick loved it there, and so he used it as a way of apologizing to him, hoping that it would mend their friendship. Little did Brian know, but it did more than mend their friendship. As the day went on, Brian and Nick rode the rides, played the games, and watched the shows. They had both seen and done it all before, but for reasons unbeknownst to Brian, Nick took joy form all that they did. It seemed like he was experiencing all of it, for the first time, all over again. Every time they were ready to embark on a new ride, Nick would steal glances at Brian, who always sat next to him. Nick knew Brian wasn't fond of heights, in fact he was terrified. Nick was amazed at how Brian would put aside his fears, just to join him on the roller coasters and other off the ground rides he chose. In a way, Nick thought to himself, a part of him chose those specific rides to torture Brian for what he did, but a greater part of him did it because each time they rode a ride Brian deemed "scary," he'd hold Nick tightly, not letting go until the ride came to a complete stop. It was Nick's way of getting close, and being able to touch Brian, without alerting him of his feelings. The hardest part of the entire day, Nick thought, was that they had to wait on the lines. It was the only thing he worried about. He stressed over having to spend extended periods of time waiting with Brian, and only Brian. Nick reasoned he'd have the hardest time talking with him, while at the same time trying to keep his feelings hidden. He couldn't afford to let Brian know how he felt yet, and so having to wait in line with him proved to be one of the hardest tasks he'd ever faced. There were a few moments when Nick even wished they'd be recognized, just so Brian wouldn't have the chance to discover how madly in love he was with him. Nick let his worries rule his actions for the first few rides they waited for. With each passing ride, Nick felt more and more at ease. Whether it was his hidden feelings taking over his more practical side, or Brian's infectious wit and personality, combined with his soft smiles, Nick found that as the day went on, he grew more and more comfortable with the whole situation. Undeniably, their relationship as "Frick and Frack" overruled any doubts or concerns that were in Nick's mind. Eventually, Nick was at ease enough to forget every conflicting emotion within him, and just simply enjoyed being with Brian. His confidence grew in their friendship, bringing him closer and closer to being able to tell Brian that he was in love with him. To Nick, everything that happened that day, was perfect. Everything that Brian said or did, confirmed his feelings for him, making it more difficult to keep his true feelings from his best friend. ****** Some time during the day, Nick and Brian found themselves separated from each other. Nick took this opportunity to walk over to one of the souvenir stands he'd passed earlier in the day. Something had caught his eye that he knew he needed to buy for Brian. When Nick found the stand again, he walked over to one of the rows of many hats. He glanced over the large selection, and when he saw what he was looking for, a huge grin grew on his face. He quickly pulled down the black circular hat topped by huge Mickey Mouse ears, and brought it to the cashier. Nick asked if she could personalize it for him. She took the hat, and proceeded to fill in his request, allowing a small laugh escape, when Nick asked her to embroider "Frick" on the back of the hat. "Long story." Nick explained, while trying to contain his own laughter. He smiled, as he pictured Brian wearing the goofy hat. When she was done, Nick thanked her, and set off in search for Brian. After about an hour of searching, Nick finally gave up and decided to call his cell phone. On the other side of "The Magic Kingdom," Brian heard his cell phone ring, and checked the caller-id on it before answering. Kevin had tried to call earlier, but he managed to avert from answering, when Kevin's name flashed across the display. This time, it was Nick's name that flashed on the display. "Where are you?" Brian said into his phone. "Where am I? Where are you? I've been looking all over for you for the past hour. Where'd you disappear to?" "I didn't disappear, you did!!!" Brian said with a laugh. "Whatever. Where are you right now, so I can meet you." "Hold on." Brian said, trying to think of an excuse, not wanting Nick to know what he was up to. He covered the receiver on his phone, as he spoke to the saleswoman. "Ma'am. I'm sorry. How much longer?" "About five minutes. I just need to finish the back." She answered politely. "Thanks." "Nick?" Brian said into his cell phone. "Yeah?" "I'll meet you in front of the castle in ten minutes okay?" "Cool. I'll see you in ten." Nick answered, and closed the flap on his phone. As Brian put his phone back into his pocket, the saleswoman wrapped up what Brian was waiting for, and placed it in a bag for him. Brian thanked her, and set off to meet Nick. ****** Nick was standing in front of Cinderella's Castle, awaiting the arrival of his Prince Charming. Nick laughed inwardly at the thought, wondering when the day would come. when he would actually be able to say that. He looked out into the horizon at the setting sun, telling himself how perfect his day with Brian had been, and how lucky he was to have him in his life. As Nick lost himself in the image before him, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. Nick knew who it was, and smiled. "Who is it?" Nick asked jokingly, without turning around. Brian rolled his eyes, and shook his head at Nick's response. "I'll give you one guess." "Hmmm...Let me see...Is it Mickey?" Nick said excitedly. Brian laughed at Nick's joke, marveling at how refreshing Nick's innocent personality was at times. "Nope." Brian said. "It's your Prince Charming." Nick's smile faded, and he quickly turned around. "What'd you say?" Nick asked, as he stared at Brian through his sunglasses. "I said its Prince Charming." Brian uncomfortably repeated, not expecting Nick's response. "Don't you get it? We're at Cinderella's Castle, and I'm Prince Charming...which makes you Cinderella." Brian explained, trying to make a recovery. He gave Nick an awkward smile, unsure of what he was thinking. "Oh." Nick nervously said. "Did I say something wrong?" Nick quickly scrambled for something to say, before the atmosphere became any more awkward, and before their perfect day was ruined. "I was just disappointed, that's all." Nick said to Brian's confusion. "I thought you said Prince Charming, but when I turned around, all I saw was your goofy face." Nick joked, hoping Brian would forget their awkward moment. Brian didn't respond, he only continued to stare at Nick with a blank expression on his face. Nick began to worry. He was afraid he had offended Brian. Nick squirmed in his place, kicking himself for making that comment. He stared at the ground, as he always did, when he didn't know what to say. "Loser." Brian said, breaking the silence. Nick looked up at Brian's smiling eyes. He loved it when Brian smiled because it always looked like his eyes would disappear; leaving him with what Nick called "smiling eyes." He couldn't help the infectious nature of Brian's smile, and soon he found himself smiling too. "C'mon Cinderella, let's go. I'm getting hungry." Brian said as he put his arm around Nick's back, giving him a slight nudge, letting him know everything was okay. "So where to my Prince Charming?" Nick asked, only half jesting. "Well, I thought we'd head over to Epcot on the monorail. There's this restaurant over in Italy that D always talks about. I've never been there, but you know how he is about choosing restaurants. So, I figure it has to be good." "That's cool. I'm up for Italian. I don't think I've been there either." Nick said, as they walked up the ramp leading to the monorail. Nick and Brian stood in line for a few minutes, admiring the view, and talking aimlessly. A few minutes later, the monorail arrived, and they boarded the train that would take them to Epcot Center. There were some seats left by the time they got onto the monorail, but none together, so they opted to stand instead. As soon as everyone had boarded, they heard the familiar "Ding-Dong," and the doors closed. As soon as they started moving, a little boy sitting with what looked like his family, caught Nick's eye. He was staring straight at Nick, as if he was trying to place where he had seen him before. Nick tapped Brian, getting his attention, and nodded in the little boy's direction. When Brian turned around, the boys face lit up, as if he had just spotted Mickey Mouse himself. The two of them immediately recognized that look. The boy was about to burst, which wasn't a good sign because they also noticed his teenage sister who was sitting next to him. Nick and Brian immediately knew they were in trouble of being mobbed, if the boy alerted his sister of their presence. Nick quickly took control, and put his finger up to his lips. Brian took note of Nick's actions, and proceeded to place his palms together as if in prayer, signaling to the boy that they were begging him to keep quiet. Fortunately the boy understood, proud of the fact that he was sharing a secret with two of the BackStreet Boys, not to mention that his sister would be green with envy when he tells her later on that she had missed them. Nick and Brian smiled back at the boy, and they resumed their quiet ride to Epcot Center. After making a few stops, the monorail finally arrived at their destination. Nick and Brian stealthily exited the train and made their way down to the entrance. As soon as they were inside, and far away from the boy who had recognized them, Nick pulled Brian to the side. "That was way too close." Nick said, as he sighed in relief. "You're telling me. We would've been killed in there if he said anything." "Thank god he didn't, or else the guys would never let us hear the end of it." "Hey, that gives me an idea. I got you something that would probably disguise us better." Brian said, as he raised the bag he was holding in front of Nick. "Oooohhhh. A present? For me?" Nick asked. "Oh, I was gonna wait till later, but I got you something too." Nick said, lifting the bag he was carrying. "What'd you get me?" Brian asked, as he made an attempt at grabbing the bag from Nick. Nick pulled his arm, and the bag away from Brian. "Uh uh...I wanna see what you got me first." "Fine. How 'bout this. We exchange bags at the same time, and we look. Deal?" Brian asked. "Okay." Nick said, emphasizing it with an affirmative nod. As soon as the exchange was made, they quickly opened their respective bags, looking inside to see what the other had gotten for them. As soon as they realized what was inside the bag, they looked up at each other and burst into laughter. "You didn't!!!" They spoke at the same time. They reached into each of their bags, and pulled out identical hats. Nick inspected his, and realized it was exactly the same thing he had bought for Brian earlier, except his had the name "Frack" embroidered in the back. Brian looked at his, quickly turning it to the back, wondering if they both had the same thing in mind when they bought the hat. He was amazed when he saw that Nick had the name "Frick" embroidered in the same place he had his nickname for him embroidered. They looked at each other and smiled. "Guess we were thinking the same thing." Nick said. "As always, Frack." Brian said, melting Nick's heart. That funny feeling came over Nick again, this time causing him to blush. "Why are you blushing?" Brian asked. "No reason." Nick said, turning a deeper shade of red. "Put your hat on." He added, trying to take the attention off of him. "Okay, but you have to wear yours too." "Alright, fine." Nick said, as he removed the baseball cap he was wearing, replacing it with the hat Brian had given him. Brian did the same thing, and they looked at each other. They simultaneously burst into a laughing fit, at the site of each other wearing Mickey Mouse ears. "I hope I don't look as dumb as you do." Nick said. "Nope. You look dumber. After all, you're the blonde." Brian joked. Nick lunged at Brian, and placed him in a headlock. "You give?" Nick asked. "Okay...Okay...I give." Brian answered, as Nick loosened his grip, but not taking his hand from around Brian's neck. "Let's go. I'm hungry." "At least we won't be noticed now." Brian said with a smile. As they walked into Epcot Center, they passed the large sphere that was the park's trademark, and continued walking towards the "World Showcase" section of the park. After about fifteen minutes of walking, they made it to the first country, and decided to board one of the boats that would take them to Italy. Nick and Brian sat next to each other on the boat, just as the last of the sun's light illuminated the sky. They were looking out the window of the ferry, when all of the lights in the park turned on magnificently illuminating each city. Nick leaned over Brian to get a better look. Brian watched Nick, seeing the constant smile on his friend's face. He smiled, thinking to himself how cute Nick looked. Minutes later, the boat docked in Italy. They stepped off of the boat, and onto the dock. They walked towards the end of the city, to the restaurant Howie had suggested. As they walked up to the posh restaurant, Nick leaned into Brian and reminded him that this may be a good time for them to use their "I'm a BackStreet Boy" card to get a secluded table. They knew first hand exactly what it was like to be mobbed during a meal. Brian agreed, and as they stepped through the door, he approached the Maitre'd. "Good evenin', sir. How are you tonigh'?" Brian said, pouring every ounce of his southern charm into his words. "Very good, sir. I trust you're also well." The Maitre'd said, in a thick Italian accent, and in the typical "Happiest Place On Earth" fashion, Brian and Nick encountered all throughout Disney. "Would you like a table for two?" "Actually, yes. I'm not sure if you know who we are, but I'm Brian Littrell," Brian said nervously. He hated using their name for special favors. He was used to either Kevin or A.J. doing it for them, but they weren't here now. As Nick watched the whole exchange between Brian and the Maitre'd, he noticed the discomfort Brian was experiencing. Immediately, he stepped in for his friend. "And I'm Nick Carter. We're both in the band the 'BackStreet Boys,' and..." Nick tried to continue, but was cut off by the Maitre'd. "Ah, Jes. You're friends of Mr. Dorough. No?" The man said excitedly. "Yes. We are." Nick said, surprised that he knew Howie by name. "Yes, I understand then. Mr. Dorough...very good man. He dine with us many times. The waitresses all have crush on him." The Maitre'd said, causing Nick and Brian to chuckle. "You'll sit in his table then." He said, making Brian feel more comfortable. "The only thing, sirs...is I ask you to take off the hats of yours. We only let the bambinos wear them." Nick and Brian looked at each other, and laughed, realizing that they were still wearing their Mickey Mouse hats. Slightly embarrassed, they took off their hats, along with their sunglasses. They smiled sheepishly at the Maitre'd, and found him returning the smile. He informed them that their table would be ready in a few minutes, and was off inside the restaurant to have it set for them. "Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and clean up a bit before we sit down." Nick said to Brian. "Alright. I'll be at the table. I'll go to the bathroom when you get back." Moments later, the Maitre'd returned and led Brian into the dining area. Before he sat down, he thanked the Maitre'd, who informed Brian that the waiter would be there momentarily to take their order. Brian looked around and noticed that the restaurant was a cross between a typical family style restaurant, and a fancy one where you'd bring someone to celebrate an anniversary. It was typical of the "Disney" style, but mostly of "Sweet D's" style. There was a romantic quality to the place, Brian thought to himself, but not too fancy or uptight to the point of not being able to have fun. It was perfect. Brian continued to look around the candlelit restaurant, as the Italian music penetrated the air around him. The magic of the room took over his senses as he waited for Nick. 'If only I had someone to share all of this with...then it would be perfect.' Brian silently thought to himself, as he let out a small sigh. ****** Nick walked out of the restroom, his hair still slightly damp from the water he ran through it, in an attempt to fix his hat hair. He walked up to the Maitre'd who let him know Brian was already seated and waiting for him. He showed Nick the way to their table. When Nick spotted Brian, he stopped the Maitre'd, and told him he'd go the rest of the way. The man was slightly confused at Nick's request, but obliged nonetheless. He gave Nick a slight nod, and went on his way. Once the Maitre'd was gone, Nick moved off to a small, out of the way corner, where he was able to watch Brian without being noticed. He looked on, as Brian's small frame was illuminated in the darkness of the restaurant by the single candle burning at their table. On occasion, when the flame from the candle flickered in the right direction, and when Brian sat at a certain angle, Nick could perfectly see the angelic face of the object of his affection. Nick felt his heart race, his stomach tie up in knots, and his entire being shudder. It was in those moments he felt most alive, and knew that everything he went through was all worthwhile. He loved Brian with his heart, mind, and soul, and was constantly reminded of that fact whenever he was near him. Every time Brian spoke, sang, or even just laughed, Nick would feel a rush come over him. He always knew love would feel this way, but never did he think he'd fall in love with his best friend...with Brian. Nick drew in a sharp breath, shaking away his thoughts. He loved to watch Brian. If the world ended at that moment, Nick would have died happy, for his last vision would be of the love of his life. Nick was content with watching Brian forever, but he knew Brian was waiting for him to return. Taking one last look, Nick stepped out of the shadows, and walked towards the keeper of his heart. "What took you so long?" Brian said smiling, as Nick approached the table. "Sorry. I kinda got lost." Nick said, blushing at the excuse he gave Brian. He pulled out his seat and sat down. "I'm gonna go wash up." Brian said, as he stood from his chair. "The waiter came by, and I ordered us drinks. If he comes back while I'm gone, just order some appetizers, and ask him to come back." "Yes, Kev...I mean Brian. Sorry, bad habit." Nick said jokingly. Brian returned the smile, letting Nick know he got the joke. "What'd you get us to drink?" Nick asked, as Brian was about to leave. "I got a glass of wine, and I got you a coke." Brian said with a straight face. "A Coke? C'mon, Kev lets me have a glass of wine with dinner sometimes." Nick whined. "Well, I'm not Kevin. Besides, I told you I didn't want to get in the habit of buying you drinks." "It's not a drink. It's a glass of wine." "Same difference." Brian said with a smile, and walked away. Nick rolled his eyes knowing Brian was right, but not wanting to accept that fact. A few minutes later, the waiter came around with their drinks, setting Brian's glass of wine in place, and Nick's coke in front of him. Before the waiter had a chance to leave, Nick stopped him. "Excuse me." Nick said. "Yes, sir?" "I'm sorry, but my friend wanted me to tell you that he decided not to have the wine, and that he'd like a Sprite instead." Nick said with a smile. "Sure. No problem. I'll get that right away." The waiter said taking away the glass of wine, as Nick tried not to laugh. A few minutes later, the waiter returned, and placed a glass of Sprite on the table. He took Nick's appetizer order and left, just as Brian sat down. "Did you order?" Brian asked. "Yeah. I got some appetizers. He said he'd be back to take our dinner order." Nick said, as he took a sip from his Coke, trying not to laugh, as he kept his eyes on Brian. Brian saw Nick take his drink, and instinctively grabbed for his. He was looking for the wine glass, but didn't find it. "I thought I ordered wine." Brian said confused. Nick tried to contain his laughter, but could no longer hold out. Afraid that the sip of Coke he was taking would snort out of his nose, he swallowed, and let out a small giggle. "What?" Brian asked. "Nothing." "What'd you do?" "I told the waiter you didn't want the wine, but wanted Sprite instead." Nick said, awaiting Brian's scowl. "You are such a baby sometimes. Just cause you can't have any, you won't let me have any? That's so childish." Brian said, shaking his head and smiling. "Hey, I could have some. You just won't let me." "No. The state of Florida won't let you." Brian corrected. "Aw, C'mon. If you order it, they're not gonna say anything." "Naw, it's alright. I'll just stick with the Sprite then...Alchy." Brian added. "Fine. I'll have my Coke then." Nick said in a snotty, child like manner. He wasn't about to let Brian win, so he drew on what he knew would get Brian to submit for sure. Nick pouted, and gave Brian his puppy dog eyes. "Aw. C'mon...that's not fair, so don't even try it. It ain't gonna work anyway. That look only works with Kevin and Howie. I'm immune to it." Brian said confidently, but only received a bigger pout, and even sadder puppy dog eyes from Nick. Brian tried his hardest to shield himself from the effects of Nick's secret, and most powerful weapon. Nick wasn't about to lose, so he kept looking at Brian with that face, until the waiter came with their appetizers. Brian took one look at Nick, and broke down. "Can I order a bottle of red wine?" Brian asked the waiter. "Of course, sir." The waiter nodded, as a huge grin appeared on Nick's face. "Any particular kind?" "Yes. A bottle of Merlot will do." Brian said, still looking at Nick's victory grin. The waiter scribbled in his pad, and proceeded to take their dinner order, suggesting some dishes that would be complimented by the wine Brian chose. As soon as he had everything written down, he left the two to start on their appetizers. "Thanks Bri." Nick said. "Whatever, you dork. Just don't tell the guys how you quilted me into buying a bottle of wine. I'll never hear the end of it, and don't use that face with me again. I hate it when you do that." "Fine. I won't tell anyone, and I promise to just use the face on special occasions." Brian smiled, letting Nick know he wasn't mad, and Nick smiled back, feeling just a bit guilty for what he had done, but the overwhelming sense of victory overshadowed that guilt. They started on their appetizers, and were talking aimlessly about their day, and what Kevin's face would look like when they got back. They sat there and enjoyed each other's company, just as two friends ought to. ****** "Figures D would come here often." Brian said, picking up his wine glass, and taking a sip. He looked at Nick who was taking a bite from his food. "Yeah. I was thinking the same thing." Nick said, as he swallowed, and then picked up his wine glass to take a sip. "It's a real nice date place." "It is. I just wish I had a date to take here." Brian responded, looking directly at Nick. Nick almost choked on the sip of wine he just took, when he heard Brian say that. Immediately he became nervous, not knowing what Brian was implying by that statement. Perhaps, Nick thought to himself, he was reading into that statement too much, and distorting it, making it mean what he so badly wanted it to. Nick searched for a clever response, one that would possibly probe more into Brian's thoughts on the subject, and possibly on the prospect of dating another man. What he said here could possibly dictate the rest of his life. "Yeah. Me too." Was Nick's genius response. When he realized what he said wasn't as insightful as he hoped, he kicked himself mentally for his lame response. Brian let out a little laugh at Nick's comment. Nick tilted his head, and gave Brian a curious look. He wondered what Brian was trying to say with that laugh. "What? What's so funny?" Nick asked, as Brian continued to eat. "Mmmmm...Nothing. I was just thinking that you could bring anyone you wanted, to a place like this for a date. It's not like you're lacking any options." "Me?" Nick said surprised. "I could easily say the same thing about you." "Yeah, but you know why I don't. I don't really like to date around. I'm more of the settlin' kind." Brian explained. "You know...Find the one person in your life, and stick with them." "Like that girl at the club?" Nick asked sorely. "Alright...I'm sorry I ditched you for her. It was wrong of me, but I was really drunk." Nick just smiled, letting Brian know that it was okay, and that he didn't want to discuss it. Nick intently stared at Brian, as he thought back on what Brian had said earlier. He'd heard all this before, but anything Brian said, Nick gladly drunk in. He thought it sweet of Brian to think that way, especially since he was sure that "The One" person for him at least, was sitting right across the table. "So how do you expect to find this 'one' if you don't date? Do you expect them to just show up at your door one day?" Nick said, poking fun at Brian. "Yes. Exactly." "That's crazy. There's like a one and a billion chance of that happening." "That's exactly what I mean. Fate will bring us together, and when that happens, that's when I'll know." Brian stated plainly. "How are you gonna know that you love them, and that they love you? If someone just showed up tomorrow, and said, 'It's me. I'm the one. We're destined to be together, Brian.' You'll just automatically fall in love with them, and that's it? No questions asked? You'll just do it cause fate sent them to you?" Nick asked. "I didn't mean it literally, retard. What I meant was, if by chance someone pops into my life, and she's 'The One,' I'll know. Things happen for a reason, and so I believe fate WILL bring us together, and let me know it by showing signs." "Signs? Like What?" "I don' know." Brian said as he thought about an answer. He had never given much thought to this question, until now. Brian always believed that he'd just know when he had finally found the right person. "I guess like things happening at the right moment, like us saying things, or thinking things at the same instant. Then there's knowing what each other is thinking without saying a word." "That's not fate, that's coincidence. We do that all the time. It's just cause we know each other really well. You know what I'm thinking before I even know, and you can predict what I'm gonna do, just as well as I can predict what you're about to do." Nick argued. "I guess. Then look at it this way. I'll know when I've found the right person, when I can look back, and point out signs that say we were meant to be. Like Kevin meeting up with you guys, and he being my cousin, was fate's way of telling me, you and I were destined to be best friends." Nick's heart sank when Brian said "best friends." He wondered if that was all they were meant to be. He needed to find out, so he pressed on. "Don't you think you're reading too much into things then? If you really wanted to, you could basically distort anything that happens, and make it mean, or fit into whatever you wanted. It's like getting your Tarot cards read. The psychic is generally vague, leaving it up to you to fit the reading into your life the way you want it to." "Since when did you get all deep and philosophical?" Brian asked. Nick just shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I've just had a lot of time to think the past few months." He said quietly, as an uncomfortable silence fell between them. Brian was in deep thought, and Nick chastised himself for bringing up a subject, regarding their friendship, that he knew Brian was still sensitive about. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's kinda depressing to think that way, but I see your point." Brian said quietly. "Huh?" "About reading into things and distorting them to make it mean something it really doesn't, just cause you want it to." "Oh yeah." Nick said, still feeling uncomfortable. "But then, if you think that way all the time, it's like second guessing or doubting yourself, and that's not always good. You always end up miserable. You need to take things as they come, and not analyze it so much. If you think it's a sign, then chances are it is a sign. If you believe it, then it's most likely true. It's like when our teachers told us to always go with our first guess in multiple-choice questions. When you start over analyzing and reading into it, everything just gets confusing. Just choose one, and go with it." Brian explained endlessly, as Nick wondered where all of this was coming from. "So why beat yourself up? Just accept that what happens may be a sign, and go with the flow. That way, you have no regrets." Nick thought for a second, as he processed what Brian said. Nick wanted so badly to go with the flow Brian had mentioned, and tell him exactly how he felt. Nick thought to himself how everything that had happened today, right up to their dinner were all signs for him to just breakdown and tell Brian. He knew Brian was right, but the walls he built up as defenses, kept him from confessing his love for Brian. Nick took comfort in the hiding place those walls provided for him. More than anything, his mind refused to let him get hurt, but it was his heart that spoke the loudest at the moment. "Alright, so let's pretend here." Nick said nervously, as Brian continued to eat. Nick suddenly lost his appetite. He gulped down what remained in his wine glass, hoping it would calm his nerves. "Okay, so taking into account all that you've said, look back on everything that has happened since we met." Nick said in one breath, trying to will away all hesitation. 'This is it.' Nick told himself. He poured another glass of wine. The neck of the bottle clanked with the rim of his wine glass, as his hand shook. "You okay?" Brian asked. "Yeah. It just got cold all of a sudden." "You want my jacket?" 'What, so I can feel a part of you on my skin, and smell your scent, making me even more nervous? No thanks.' Nick thought to himself. "It's alright. It'll pass." Nick said to Brian, as he took another significant sip of wine. "Okay, like I was saying..." Nick continued. "If you look back since the day we met, couldn't you fit all of you're criteria for the "one," with me?" Nick finally said, as he looked straight into Brian's eyes. Usually he'd be able to read Brian's thoughts right then, but there was too much interference. All Nick saw was a blank stare on Brian's face. Nick thought to himself that either their "fate authored" psychic link had just been severed, or there were no thoughts running through Brian's mind at the moment. Either way, it wasn't good. "I mean...we know what each other is thinking, even before the other thinks it. We finish each other's sentences. We think of each other when one of us is going through a rough time..." Nick rambled on endlessly. It was like the gates that held back his private thoughts were suddenly opened, and he was practically revealing all of his feelings to Brian. Nothing held Nick back anymore. The only words missing now were an outward declaration of his love. "...and if you want signs..." Nick continued. "What about that thing with the hats today? I didn't even know you were gonna get that for me, and to top it off, we were thinking the exact same thing when we had it personalized." Nick said all at once, immediately beginning to regret opening Pandora's box. Once again, not being able to contain himself, Nick said it. "And now we're here in a romantic restaurant, having dinner, as if it were a date. What's fate trying to tell us here?" Once again, Nick looked into Brian's eyes, trying his hardest to break in, but had no luck. For the first time, Brian was shutting him out. "Are you serious?" Brian asked. This time, he was the one trying to read Nick. Nick didn't respond, but instead sank into his seat, and tried to look away, but it was too late. All of his cards were already on the table, and it was up to Brian to call his bluff or fold. "So who's reading into things too much right now?" Brian questioned, unsure where their conversation was headed. "Who's second guessing themselves, and who's not 'going with the flow,' and not accepting things that may be signs?" Nick retorted, referring to Brian's statement earlier. Once again they fell into an uncomfortable silence. By now, neither of them had an appetite, so pretending to eat provided no excuse. Nick reached for the wine bottle, when he realized his glass was empty, and that his throat was parched. As his hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle, he felt a hand wrap around his. He looked over and realized he and Brian were once again thinking the same thing. 'How many more signs do you need?!?!?' Nick wanted to scream, as he quickly pulled his hand from under Brian's. Brian took the wine bottle, and poured Nick a glass of wine. When it was full, he took the remaining contents and poured it into his glass. They sat in silence once again. This time, the only sound that filled the silence was from the violinist playing in the background. "I guess I'll just know when I've found "The One." Brian said, trying to break the silence. As much as Nick wanted an answer, he was glad Brian changed the subject. The silence was slowly eating away at him. "Yeah, I guess the same goes for me too." Nick said. "Well, what bout you? How will you know?" Brian asked. "I guess I'll just know." Nick answered, but all of a sudden felt an urge to tell Brian more. "I'll know when I've met "The One" when the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep, they're all I think about, and even as I sleep, they're still in my thoughts. I'll know, when my heart races every time I think of them, and when they're not near me, I count the minutes till we're together again. But most of all, I'll know when I stop looking for someone else. They're it, when I know everything in my world is perfect, and when I know there's no one else out there who could replace them." Nick said, describing all of the feelings he had for Brian, right to his face. "Wow. That's some pretty big shoes to fill." Brian said amazed at the passion behind Nick's words, "Don't you think you're looking for someone, or something a little too perfect? I don't think there's that many people out there who could do that for me. Just don't set your ideals too high, Nick. If you do, you may never find someone, or you'll set yourself up for a big fall. I don't want either of those things to happen to ya. "'Sides," Brian continued, "How do you even know if someone who can do all of that to you even exists?" "I guess the same way you know fate will send you your person." "Yeah, you're right. I just hope fate sends me someone pretty." Brian joked, causing Nick to laugh. "What if they're not pretty?" "If she's not pretty, it doesn't matter. If she's the one, I'll still love her." Brian answered confidently, as Nick rolled his eyes. "What if they have a hairy upper lip, and a unibrow?" Nick joked. "Doesn't matter, as long as we're meant to be together, I'll love her no matter what." "What if they pick their nose and eat it?" Nick asked. "Doesn't matter." Brian responded with a smile, determined to beat Nick's game. "What if they don't shave their arm pits or legs, and have smelly feet?" "Doesn't matter." "What if..." Nick began to say, as he tried to think of something that would get to Brian. "What if they look like Kevin?" Nick said, trying to keep a straight face. Brian conjured up the image in his mind, and shuddered at the thought. "Still doesn't matter." He said a bit more hesitantly, this time. "What if your family hates them?" "Still doesn't matter" Brian held on steadfastly. "What if we find them extremely annoying, and can't stand to be with the two of you?" "Doesn't matter." "What if they have fungus toes?" Nick giggled. "Doesn't matter." "What if they fart all the time?" "Doesn't matter." "What if they're a guy?" Nick asked this time. He was too caught up in the heat of the questioning, that he didn't have a chance to censor his thoughts as they formed words on his lips. Brian was about to give his standard answer, when he realized what Nick had just asked. Brian stared at Nick for a moment as the atmosphere around them filled with extreme awkwardness. He didn't have a chance to respond, because at the same time, the Maitre'd asked for everyone's attention. Brian's gaze was drawn to the middle of the room, and so was Nick's. Nick silently thanked the man for his distraction. The two of them looked on, as the Maitre'd and the musicians hovered around a table, with what looked like a couple, sitting in the middle of the room. "As everyone knows, right now you are all in the 'Happiest Place on Earth.' It is also a magical place, where fairytales often enough come true. Tonight, we have a couple who have decided to share their fairytale with us all. Jackson here asked me earlier if he could do something special for this beautiful lady sitting with him tonight, and when he told me what it was, I couldn't refuse. I am glad to help. So, Jackson..." Nick looked on wondering what was about to happen. From the look on the girl's face, she too had no idea what her boyfriend was about to do. The man known to everyone in the restaurant as Jackson, stood up. "Thanks," he nervously said to the Maitre'd. "Hi folks, as you know, my name is Jackson, and this is my beautiful girlfriend of four years, Melanie." At this time, Melanie gave everyone a small wave, and turned three shades of red from the attention that was now placed on her. Nick also noticed the violinist start to play a romantic melody, as Jackson spoke again. "Mel and I first met right here in Disney four years ago. We worked here at the park. I met her one day when I was walking around with Mickey, and she was walking around with Minnie. The moment our eyes met, I fell in love." Everyone in the restaurant awed at his story. "I had to do a lot of convincing to get her to go out with me." Jackson paused, as everyone laughed, once again embarrassing Melanie even more. "But eventually, I did convince her, and we had our first date right here in this restaurant. Right here is where our relationship began." Jackson said, as he stretched his hand out for Melanie's hand, and then clasped it with hers. If ever there was love, it ruled at that moment. "So, I brought her back here tonight to begin something new." Jackson said, as he used his free hand to search his pockets. When he found what he was looking for, without letting go of his girlfriend's hand, he kneeled down on one knee, and produced a black velvet box. At that point, everyone gasped, and then extreme silence filled the restaurant, as they waited for the drama to unfold before them. Everyone watched as Jackson let go of Melanie's hand, and opened the delicate box, revealing what was inside. "Melanie, you are truly my better half. You complete my mind, heart, and soul. I can't imagine my life without you. Will you do me the greatest honor, and be my wife? Will you marry me?" Jackson asked his now stunned girlfriend. She was overcome by her emotions, and lost all power to speak. She simply nodded her head in affirmation, probably managing an inaudible "yes." Jackson stood to his feet, bringing her up with him. They looked into each other's eyes, and shared a kiss in front of the entire restaurant. As Nick reveled in the moment, he noticed the other couples around the restaurant exchange a small kiss, or join hands across the table, reaffirming the love they felt for each other. Even loving couples that were with their families couldn't hold back their small forms of affection, much to the dismay of their children who were too young to understand the love they felt at that moment. Nick couldn't help but sigh at the scene before him. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to vomit in frustration at what had just happened, or embrace it in hopes that someday, he'd have his love returned, just like the other couples before him. The musicians began to play a jovial Italian tune on their instruments, as the Maitre'd prompted everyone to pick up their napkins, and twirl them in the air in honor of some Italian tradition. The children especially enjoyed this part, because after countless times of being reminded by their parents to behave in public, and especially at the dinner table, a grown up was actually giving them permission to play. Their parents didn't mind, because they were still too caught up in their significant other, to reprimand their children. Nick was twirling his napkin in the air, when he turned around to look back at Brian, for the first time since the Maitre'd interrupted them. Brian silently sat in his seat, blankly staring at Nick, very far away from the festivities that were taking place around him. The huge grin on Nick's face slowly faded, just as his napkin twirling slowly came to a grinding halt. He wondered how long Brian had been sitting there, oblivious to the world around him. Nick put his napkin down and hesitantly tapped Brian's arm, unsure of whether or not he wanted to rouse him from his thoughts. As soon as Nick made contact with his arm, Brian was jolted back into reality, just in time to hear everyone around them applauding, and beginning to settle down. He looked at Nick and saw the confusion on his face. Brian tried to ease his friend's mind, by flashing a fake smile at him. Nick caught on, and gave Brian a smile that rivaled the one he was being given. "I've gotta go to the bathroom." Nick said, trying to ease the tension in the atmosphere, and also wanting to escape the situation. Brian didn't answer, but just continued to stare. ****** Nick stepped into the bathroom, not really needing to do anything other than escape. He needed time to regroup, and retreat behind the safety of the walls he set up. This was the danger he feared whenever he was around Brian. For some reason, those walls were weakened whenever he was near him. It was like a double-edged sword. He needed Brian in his life, but at the same time he was also the one who also brought him to the brink of insanity. "Pull yourself together, Nick." He said to the reflection in the mirror. "You can't afford any slip ups like that. What the hell were you thinking?" Nick asked himself. Nick turned on the cold water, and cupped his hands under the steady flow. He watched as his hands filled with water, and eventually watched as it overflowed over the sides of his hand. He watched the water, mesmerized at its hypnotic flow. He brought his water filled hands up to his face, washing away the weakness he showed earlier. After repeating the action a few more times, he looked up into the mirror, hoping his poker face had returned. ****** "Hey, you ready to go?" Nick asked as he returned to the table. "Yeah. Do you want any dessert?" "Naw, I figure we could get some in Norway. There's this great little dessert place there." "Cool. Lemme just take care of the bill then." Brian said, as he looked for the waiter. "Too late. I took care of it while I was up front." Nick said with a smile. "After all, can't have my date paying." Nick joked. He realized that he slipped again, when Brian failed to respond. Nick noticed the blank stare reappear on Brian's face, and wondered why he retreated into that mode whenever he joked about that kind of stuff. "I was only kidding, Bri. I have better taste in choosing dates. If it makes you feel better, you can get dessert." "Uh...Yeah...okay." Brian stammered out, returning to reality. "Hey, maybe you should consider this a date...it's the closest you've ever come, or will ever come to a real date anyway." Brian said, as they made their way through the restaurant. Nick smiled at Brian's comment, happy that the awkward tension had passed. "Well, I'm the best date you'll ever have, so you better savor each minute." Nick joked back. "You wish. I've had better. You didn't bring me flowers." "Shutup retard." "Hey, watch your language. There's kids around." Brian mock scolded Nick. "Sorry." Nick said, as he rolled his eyes, and exited the restaurant. "Hat's?" Brian asked, as they stepped outside. Nick nodded in agreement, as they put on their matching "Frick" and "Frack," Mickey Mouse hats. ****** "Here you go." Brian said, as he handed Nick the ice cream cone he had bought at the dessert shop in Norway. "You said strawberry right?" "Duh...Do I ever get any other flavor?" Nick asked sarcastically. "That's what I thought." Brian said, and playfully slapped the back of Nick's head. "Smartass." He said with a laugh. "You know, you should learn to try new things. You may discover that you like it." Brian said as they continued on their walk. "Well...what flavor did you get?" Nick asked smartly. Brian took a second to think before he answered. He thought to himself how Nick knew him all too well. "Vanilla." Brian said quietly, feeling a bit sheepish after telling Nick that he should think about trying new things. "What was that Frick?" Nick asked, laughing and trying to suppress a grin of victory. "I said Vanilla." " 'Nuf said." Nick said triumphantly, putting his arm around Brian. "When you order something other than Vanilla...that's when I'll try something new." Nick said, looking directly at Brian, and grinning. Brian rolled his eyes in defeat, causing the both of them to laugh. After a few minutes of walking towards the lake in the middle of the park, Brian was silently fighting a battle within himself. When his resolve finally came through, he decided to settle things by asking Nick a question. "Nick?" "Yeah?" It took some time for Brian to say anything, so Nick immediately knew it was something serious. He stopped walking, and faced Brian. Brian finally looked up, and decided to just confront Nick. "Are you in love?" Brian finally asked. Nick looked at him in shock. He was speechless, and his heart started to race. He never pictured it this way. He never thought Brian would be the one to point out his longings. Brian looked directly at him, and when he realized Nick's hesitation, he scrambled for the right words to say. "I guess what I'm asking is, are you in love, or have ever been in love. Cause the way you were talking earlier, got me thinking. No one would know what they were looking for unless they experienced love beforehand. We never talked about it before, so I'm asking now. Have you met someone? Is that what the past few months were about? And is that how you know your "one" exists, and how you know exactly how they make you feel?" Nick stood dumbfounded. He wasn't sure how to answer Brian's question. "Maybe." Nick said sheepishly. Brian looked at him, tilted his head, and furrowed his brows together, probing Nick's depths. After a few moments of silence, Nick finally decided to speak. "We should hurry if we want to get a good spot for the fireworks." Nick said, quickly changing the subject. He pulled away from Brian, quickly changing his demeanor. He told himself, that now wasn't the time to confess his love, so with childish glee, Nick began a sprint for the waterfront. Brian took in Nick's enthusiasm, and just laughed. He was still confused, but he decided that it could wait. He didn't want it to ruin their day together. He was glad to see that Nick seemed truly happy. It was a dramatic change from his pent up and closed off self of the past few months. Brian was glad that things had returned to the way it was "supposed" to be. He hated change and disruption, but now all he felt was balance. He was glad to have "his" Nick back, and he told himself that if Frack was in love, he was happy for him. A smile appeared on Brian's face. It was a smile that told everyone who saw it, that everything was right with the world. Just as Brian finished his thoughts, he heard Nick call out to him, telling him to hurry up. Nick refused to miss a minute of the fireworks display. To him, it was the best and most magical part of coming to Disney. Brian looked on and saw Nick already lined up against the metal railing surrounding the great lake in the middle of Epcot Center. Brian noticed how funny Nick looked standing next to the smaller children who also crowded around the railing, hoping to get the best view of the show. Nick stood tall with his Mickey Mouse ears. Brian looked on, and continued to walk up to Nick who kept waving for him to hurry up. Brian couldn't help but smile at the childlike excitement on Nick's face. After all, it was one of the qualities he admired and loved about Nick. 'If he wasn't so tall,' Brian thought to himself, 'he'd fit right in with the other kids.' The minute Brian was behind Nick, the lights that illuminated the entire park ceased to exist, in preparation for the show. The only visible light was on the large spherical, silver ball that was the centerpiece of the entire theme park. Nick's heart raced in anticipation, as the announcer's voice echoed through the entire park. He felt like an eager fan awaiting the start of one of their concerts. As he looked around, he saw that everyone stood still, and focused their attention at the center of the lake. Just as the announcer's loud, booming voice finished welcoming everyone to Epcot Center's Millennial Celebration, the music began to blare throughout the entire area, and as if by magic, the whole lake came to life. There were gasps and choruses of "Oooohhh's" and "Ahhhhh's" from the crowd, as the show began. Nick smiled and bounced around in excitement, as it was difficult for him to contain the surge of adrenalin and energy within him. Brian looked on, and watched the show. He couldn't remember when it was, but at some point, he lost interest in the spectacle of light and sound that took place around him. He found his interest solely focused on his best friend. He reveled in the pure joy that emanated from Nick. He shut out everything around him, and only let the music penetrate his being. There was a lull in the show, where the fast paced trance slowed down. Brian thought how it was so much like the shift from their explosive opening numbers, to one of their slower ballads. He silently stood there listening to Eric Clapton's voice, as he sang "Wonderful Tonight." Brian allowed every word, and every musical note penetrate his soul. He continued to gaze upon Nick. Brian took note of the hint of blonde hair that peeked out from under the hat he had given him. He followed Nick's hair, noticing how it perfectly framed his beautiful face, and lightly touched the soft smooth skin of his cheeks. Even in the dark, Brian knew what Nick looked like, because of the many years they spent together. Every nuance of every feature, Brian had memorized. Had he been an artist, he could have painted Nick from memory. Brian stared at Nick's broad shoulders and strong back. He traced down Nick's long and lanky arms, taking in the slight hint of muscular definition. 'God...When did he grow up?' Brian asked himself. He felt a shiver run through his body as these thoughts filled his mind. Goosebumps covered his skin. The only question in Brian's mind was whether his body was reacting to the cool night air, or to other things. What he did know for certain, was how much he loved and cared for Nick. In his mind, he knew he'd do anything for his best friend. They shared a strong bond unlike any other. Brian's greatest fear was for that bond to break. He promised himself that at any cost, he'd do anything to protect and preserve what he and Nick shared. Brian took a look at the name on the back of Nick's hat, and said to himself... "He truly is my Frack." Just then a surge of light illuminated the background. Brian had forgotten that a part of the lightshow was the illumination of each city in the world showcase. They were standing in front of France, and all of the lights within the city were brighter than ever, almost resembling daytime. Nick was attentively watching the entire show, taking in every detail. When the city behind him was illuminated, Nick quickly turned around to watch the flickering of lights in its designated patterns. His intentions were forgotten, when he turned around and was met with Brian's gaze. Their eyes met only for an instant, as Nick smiled, making Brian blush and turn away. Brian chastised himself for allowing Nick to catch him staring. Immediately, Nick forgot about the show around him, and took in the sight before him. He stared at Brian's frame, smiling as he did so. 'I wish you knew how much I love you, Brian.' Nick thought to himself. 'I wish you knew how much I want to tell everyone how much I love you. I wish you knew how badly my heart aches for you. I wish you knew how badly I want to hold you in my arms, and feel your skin next to mine. I wish you knew how badly I want to kiss you.' Nick thought to himself, making a list of all the things he wanted to tell Brian. 'I wish you knew how much I miss you when you're not near me. Hardly a minute goes by without me thinking of you. I wish you knew how much every word you say means to me.' Nick continued to think to himself, wondering if he was trying to convince himself to tell Brian, or to just torture himself even more. 'But most of all...' Nick said to himself. 'I wish you knew how much I yearn to hear you say that you love me too.' Nick took in a deep breath and exhaled, trying to reign in his emotions. Disney World wasn't exactly the most ideal place to have an emotional breakdown. Nick was so engrossed in his thoughts, that he hadn't noticed the show around him had ended, until all of the lights in the park turned on again. Nick quickly smiled, not wanting Brian to see the inner turmoil he housed within himself. Brian turned around, and smiled back at Nick. "You ready to go Frack?" Nick nodded his response, still unsure of whether or not he had the power of speech. His heart raced, and his stomach was tied in knots, but he had this perma-grin on his face. That was the effect Brian had on Nick. Nick thought to himself if this was what falling for Brian felt like, then all of the doubt, worries, and uncertainties he felt was all worth it, just to be able to feel this way. It was an indescribable feeling, Nick thought. He always knew love would feel like this. Nick told himself it was true love, and was convinced that once he told Brian how he felt, in time everything would fall into place. ****** "Did you have fun today?" Brian asked just as the elevator doors closed. "Yeah. I had an awesome time. Thanks." Nick said as they rode up to the floor they occupied in the hotel. "So you still don't hate me then?" Brian asked sheepishly, staring at the ground. Nick looked over at Brian, and felt the pain he was experiencing. It broke his heart to see Brian hurting. He still blamed himself for what he had said last weekend. 'Typical Brian.' Nick thought. He wanted to reach out and hold Brian, showing him that he could never hate him. "I was angry..." Nick's voice trailed off, as he thought of the right words to say. "I could never hate you Bri." When Brian heard Nick's words, he turned his gaze from the floor to Nick's angelic face, and smiled. No words needed to be said. They each knew how the other felt. They had built a trust over they years...a trust that eliminated any doubt in the words they spoke to each other. The elevator doors opened onto their floor, and they stepped out. Brian followed Nick to his room in silence. Nick opened the door, and let Brian in. "What do you wanna do now?" Nick asked, as he took off his hat and shoes. "I don't know. Whatever you wanna do is fine. I just wanna take a shower first." Brian said, making himself comfortable. "Why don't we watch a movie? We can call room service and order some food to munch on." Nick suggested. "And I wanna take a shower too." "That's cool. You mind if I go first. I feel all Icky." "Yeah. That's fine. I'll just check my e-mail while I wait for you to get done." "I'm gonna borrow some clothes. I don't feel like walking over to my room." "Sure. You know where it is." Nick responded, as he began to set up his laptop. Just as Brian went into the bathroom, he yelled out to Nick. "If you write Ewan, tell him I said Hi, and Thanks." "Sure. Thanks for what though?" Nick asked filled with curiosity. "He'll know what I mean." Brian said with a mischievous grin, as he closed the door to the bathroom. 'Probably for telling you to take me out to Disney.' Nick thought to himself, and let out a small laugh. Just as Nick heard the shower begin to run, he was logged into his e-mail, and ready to write Ewan. ------------------------------- To: Ewan From: Nick Date: Tuesday, April 27, 1999 22:55:16 EST Subject: Guess what... I'm going to tell Brian everything tomorrow... Everything was so perfect today, and it told me that what I'm feeling can't be wrong. I love him Ewan, and I want to...No I need to tell him. I'll tell you everything that happened today when I see you. Brian and me are gonna watch a movie in a few, but everything was so perfect today...I just hope when I tell him tomorrow, it'll go just as perfect. I gotta go...Brian just finished his shower. He says to say "Hi" and "Thanks" for everything. THANK YOU TOO!!! You're the best. You'll be the first to know how everything goes. Wish me luck... Cross your fingers!!! Nicky ------------------------------- ****** Brian stepped out of the bathroom carrying his clothes, and wearing one of Nick's t-shirts and a pair of his shorts, which were too big on him. Nick looked over from his laptop, just as he shut it down, and smiled, thinking how cute Brian looked. "It's all yours." Brian said as he stepped from the bathroom. Nick walked over to his suitcase and picked out some clothes to change into. "I'll be out in fifteen." Nick said as he walked towards the bathroom. Brian laid down on Nick's bed, just as Nick closed the door to the bathroom. He grabbed the remote for the stereo system in the room, and turned on the radio to a local station. As soon as Brian settled on a station, he looked around for the hotel services book. He leaned over, grabbed it from the nightstand, and leafed through it, looking for a movie to watch. Nick stood underneath the showerhead, as the warm water beat down on his body. He closed his eyes and thought about the day he just spent with Brian. A smile grew on his face as he ran through the events, and pictured Brian in his mind. He felt a tingle run through his body, and straight to his center. His heart pounded in his chest, and he felt light headed as the blood from his body rushed to fill his loins. Nick felt himself grow hard, as he thought about Brian. Nick told himself that he wouldn't be able to survive sitting close to Brian, as they watched the movie, if he didn't allow himself this one pleasure. His hands ran down his body until it reached the hardness that only thoughts of Brian could produce. Nick's breathing became labored, as his hand worked at a feverish pace. He knew he had to keep quiet, but his mind ran into pleasure overload. All of a sudden, Nick felt the familiar surge travel through his body towards his pleasure spot. The sensations provided by the beads of water brought him closer and closer to ecstasy. His last thoughts were of Brian's naked form. 'I love you Brian' were the words that came from Nick's lips, just as his body went rigid. His eyes squeezed shut, and a low moan escaped his lips. What seemed like an eternity, was soon over, and Nick opened his eyes again. 'Woah.' Nick thought to himself, as he tried to catch his breath. He knew Brian was the only one who could do this to him, and he longed for the day he could give Brian the same pleasure, if not more. Nick turned off the shower, and stepped out of the bathtub. After toweling himself off and dressing, he opened the door, feeling the air-conditioned air as it hit his body. Nick shivered as he made his way into the room. "Hey Brian, did you order the video and food?" Nick asked as he dropped his dirty clothes near his suitcase, but received no response. "Brian?" Nick said, this time looking around the room for him. When his eyes settled on Brian's sleeping form, Nick couldn't help but smile. He thought to himself how cute Brian looked, as he lay asleep on his bed, still holding the hotel services book. Nick walked over to where he lay, and pulled the hotel services book out of Brian's grip. Nick didn't want to wake him, but he knew that if Brian slept on top of the covers, and in the position he was in, he'd wake up cold and with a painful kink in his neck. Nick contemplated the situation, and knew from past experiences, that if he timed it just right, he could get Brian to half wake up, stand, and slip under the covers, without him even noticing or remembering in the morning. Nick quickly went to work, and soon enough Brian was lying under the covers, sound asleep, with a grin on his face. Nick could only imagine what Brian was dreaming of. Feeling the exhaustion from the day set in, Nick heard sleep call his name. Before he moved over to the other bed, he knelt down in front of Brian, until their faces were almost touching. Nick watched Brian's sleeping frame, and basked in the peaceful glow radiating from his love's face. Nick's emotions got the better of his judgment, and he found himself lifting his hand up to Brian's face. He lightly brushed a few locks of hair from his face, and reveled in his angelic beauty. In a moment of passion, Nick leaned in and kissed Brian on the forehead. The next thing Nick knew, his forehead was touching Brian's. Nick closed his eyes, as he fought back the emotions and the tears, telling himself that he'd cried enough, and that it was time to tell Brian everything. In a sense, Nick knew it was time to let go of the reigns, and hope Brian would be there to catch him. He opened his eyes and stared directly at Brian again. Nick inhaled a deep breath of cool air, and let out a sigh. Whether it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of the possible impending doom, he didn't know. "Tomorrow...Tomorrow." Nick said, as his confidence grew. He stood up from his kneeling position, and turned off the light. The soft glow of the moon quickly replaced the harshness of the lamp, as Nick looked over towards Brian again. He didn't think it possible, but in the glow of the moonlight, an even stronger sense of serenity emanated from Brian. Nick pulled down the covers to his bed and crawled in. He laid his head on the pillow, facing Brian, and pulled the covers up to his chin. He laid there, and just like many nights before, watched Brian sleep. Nick suddenly realized that he forgot to shut off the radio, but it was too late. Sleep was slowly taking him away. The last thing he remembered was hearing Steven Tyler's voice fill the room, as he sang the words to "I Don't want to Miss a thing." Nick thought it ironic how perfectly that song described the situation. The last words that he remembered were from the chorus... "Don't wanna close my eyes..." ****************************************************************************** First I need to apologize for not replying to the e-mails that have been sent to me. These past few weeks have been really trying, but I'm working on them these next few nights, so if you've written, I will write back!!! So, what did you think? What do you think so far? So we're up to that point folks...what we've all been waiting for...Nick finally has the balls to tell Brian...Chapter 13... I wanna hear from all of ya reading this. I wanna know what you really think, and I'm kinda curious as to where you think the story is going, or where you'd like it to go. Or if you hate the story. Thanks You's: There's a new story out there y'all need to read!!! I told you about it before...it's by this amazing author!!! He's smart...he's funny...he's caring...and understanding!!! It's entitled "This Gift," so go check it out!!! New story recommendation...check out "Maverick." It's a sophisticated story dealing with the BSB and 'Nsync. It's written by Randy Maverson...a very insightful and perceptive guy, and an excellent friend!!! To Justin...the man who fuels my dreams, and the only guy who really knows how to keep me in line... You're a great friend, and I'm glad you're in my life. Just wanna give a special shout out to a certain someone in SJ who likes to wear shorts for not gagging. He's a great author and a great friend. He's not...I repeat NOT evil...so, check his story "Not Meant to Be" out. New Special Section: A Call to Arms to all Nicky Carter fans!!! Just recently I've received disturbing news about the lack of Nick Carter fans out there. I know that is so not true!!! We're out there...so come out of your closets and speak out!!! Check out these Nick friendly stories, and drop a note to the author's professing your love for the adorably cute Nicky Carter!!! Shout out to Carter who has his own story out on Nifty. I haven't forgotten about ya!!! It's called "Open Arms." Check it out!!! It's proving to be a good story. (I was only kidding about moving my mention up...but thanks anyway!!!) "Beneath It All" by the infamous Scotty T. "Some Kind of Bliss" by Braan "Brian and Me" by DLS - This focuses on Brian, but the part Nick plays is awesome and sweet...and most importantly he's gay!!! "Fixing the BackStreet Boys" by Kelly just finished. It's an awesome story, and Nick gets some in it!!! He's also starting a new "Kevin and Nick" story!!! I'll give you guys more details about it later. I know there's more of us out there...so here's your chance to speak out!!! I wanna hear from all the Nicky fans!!! Nicky fans UNITE!!! Lucas Out...till next time!!! rtstories@hotmail.com