Date: Thu, 04 Oct 2001 21:39:41 -0500 From: Subject: ...Being Lonely Chapter Six (Gay) (AJ/Kevin) Hi Everyone! This is my second attempt at a story. If you enjoy it, my other story is called 'Whispering Your Name'. It is a *NSYNC tale. I hope you enjoy both. Please send me an email and let me know what you think. Email at thumper1561@hotmail.com. Thanks for your feedback regarding this story, as a result, I've tried to broaden the story beyond AJ/Kevin to include the rest of Backstreet. Warning: This chapter contains more explicit slash than the previous ones. Legal Stuff This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives. A special thanks to "Hot Shots Part Deux" will you catch it? I do not know the true sexuality of any of the Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned in this story. If you are offended by homosexual material, then, this story isn't for you. And what in the world are you doing here in the first place!!!!!!! Chapter 6 by Thumper ...Being Lonely Richard's last week in rehab was not a good experience for him or AJ. AJ reverted to more sexually aggressive behavior and again it pushed Richard away. Doctor Goldman spoke to AJ about it but found himself unable to reach Alex. The only breakthrough he could record was that AJ had agreed to meet with Kevin. Doctor Goldman was unable to reach Kevin at the number he had been given so he was forced to wait until Kevin contacted him. It felt like playing hooky. Kevin had let Nick take charge. Nick was amazed at Kevin's agreeableness. They went to the San Diego Zoo and saw the animals. They took in the show at Sea World. They rented bikes and rode along the ocean. Every day, Nick dreamed up something new and Kevin enjoyed it all. Nick respected Kevin's limits. As a result, Kevin felt free to be more affectionate with Nick. They watched movies at night cuddling on the sofa with popcorn. But finally the day had to come, Nick had gone downstairs to pick up a paper and when he returned Kevin was sitting at the desk with his head in his hands. "What is it?" "I called the rehab center." "And?" "And AJ has agreed to see me. Doctor Goldman said he'd been trying to reach me for a couple of days. He only had the desert hotel number." "Oh." "I guess we better pack." "Okay." Nick dropped the paper and went to pick up his bag. He threw it on the bed and sat down. "So, what happens now?" "I talk to AJ.", Kevin said simply. "What are you gonna tell him?" "That I'm sorry for what I've done. That I'm sorry for hurting him. That I'm sorry about everything. That I want to do whatever I can to make it up to him." Nick felt a stab of fear. "What does that mean?" Kevin sat down next to Nick and took his hand. He intertwined their fingers and squeezed. "I'm not sure what's going to happen. AJ may not want anything from me at all." Nick took a breath. "What about you? Do you want to be with him?" "I don't know about want. I have an obligation..." Nick tried to pull away but Kevin put his arm around him. "This sucks.", Nick blurted out. "Yea, it does.", Kevin agreed. "You care about me." "Of course I do." "No, more than that. These last few days, I can tell. You care about me." "Yes I do. Nick I've watched you grow up. Maybe more in the last few days than the last few years, but you're still only 21. You have your whole life ahead. You want to be with me now, but who knows how long that might last?" "It might last forever if you let it." "Maybe, but maybe not. I don't want to hurt you Nick but I don't want to be hurt either. This has been an incredible time out but I'm afraid the real world is out there and we have to get back to it." "You're afraid, I get it. I suppose you have no real reason to trust me yet, but I told you I wasn't going to give up easily. I'm not giving up now. Go ahead and talk to AJ, but remember that life is more than just obligations. It's about being with the person you love. I love you Kevin and I know you love me. We better get packing, because the sooner we get this visit over, the sooner we're gonna end up together." "Nick...", Kevin warned. "I said get packing." Nick stood and started throwing his things in his bag. Kevin's heart ached as he watched the young blond fighting back tears. Nick dropped Kevin at the rehab center gate and promised to be back for him in two hours. Kevin waited apprehensively as Doctor Goldman ushered AJ into the room. He stood and gave AJ an awkward hug. "You look great." "Thanks, bro'." Kevin was a little taken aback at AJ's casualness. "How are you?" "Doin' fine." Kevin glanced at Doctor Goldman. He cleared his throat, "Uh, AJ, we're here to talk about your relationship with Kevin as it relates to your addictive behavior." "Sure." "Do you have anything to say to Kevin?" "Why are you here?" Kevin shrank in his chair. "I thought you wanted to see me." "Doc here told me, you wanted to see me. I'm curious. About what?" "Let's not be accusatory, AJ. That won't help." "Sorry Doc, forgot for a minute." Doctor Goldman sighed. AJ was clearly in control of this session. Kevin started. "I wanted to apologize to you, for everything. I know I hurt you and I know...I just...I screwed up and you got hurt. I can't change that but I am sorry for it." AJ sat silent for a moment before responding. "How's Kristin?" Doctor Goldman broke in, "We're here to discuss you and Kevin, nothing else." "I'd say she plays a part in it." "Not here, not now.", Doctor Goldman was firm. "What do you want to say to Kevin about his apology?" "Words are cheap." Kevin flinched. "That's enough AJ.", Doctor Goldman said sharply. "We discussed dealing with these issues in a positive manner. If you can't do that, we can end the session now." "No Doctor, please. Let him say what he needs to." He faced AJ, "You're right. Words are cheap. I didn't know what to expect when I came here. Maybe it was selfish of me to even come, but I need you to know I recognize I was an asshole. I said it. So, I want to give you the chance to say what you need to say to me. So say it, I can take it." "Did you ever love me?" "Yes, I did." "Then how could you have treated me that way?" "I have no excuses, AJ. I let myself be pushed into things that I didn't really want. It was my fault for not being strong enough to do what I wanted to do." "So you didn't want Kristin?" "It's not really about Kristin, AJ. I'm gay. I know that now. I knew it then, really, I just was too weak, and too scared, to fight." "Are you going to leave her?" Doctor Goldman interjected, "AJ?" Kevin answered. "I'm going to talk to her. We can't go on, I know that but I...I owe her. She deserves to be treated better than I treated you. I don't want to make the same mistakes twice." "What about us?", Alex had asked the big question, the one that had been hanging over him since Brian's visit. He made the mistake of looking into Kevin's eyes. They were glistening with tears and his long lashes were blinking rapidly to fight them off. "I don't have an answer for that right now. Can you understand?" "I understand all right." "AJ, please...I..." "Just leave Kevin. What we had was over long ago. You said what you came to say. Now do us both a favor and leave.", AJ stood and strode from the room. Kevin tried to grab him but he slipped by. Doctor Goldman stood to show Kevin out. "I'm sorry that was difficult. Sometimes these things don't go the way we would like, but it's better to get them out in the open in a safe environment." Kevin wiped his eyes and nodded. "I understand. Thank you, Doctor. This is my cell number. You can reach me if anything changes. I'll come back as soon as I can." "Of course." Kevin walked to the gate and lounged against a wall for a hour before Nick came. "Am I late?" "No, it ended early." "That good, huh?" "I can't talk about it right now." "Maybe it would help.", Nick took Kevin's hand. "I just can't." Nick dropped it. "Okay, where to?" "I'm going to find a hotel near here. I promised the Doctor I'd be close by in case I was needed again." "Any idea where?" "There has to be something close." Nick started the car and headed down the road. Sounding carefully neutral Kevin suggested, "If you want to go back to Orlando, that's okay." Nick pulled over again. "Are you sending me away?" "No, but if you want to go, I'd understand." "I'm not going." "Okay." Kevin stared ahead. "Christ, what happened in there anyway?" "Nicky please, not right now.", Kevin begged. Nick started the car again and drove off. Brian had run out of ideas and plans. He was holed up in his hotel room. He had avoided Leighanne's phone calls because he dreaded telling her what had happened. If he carefully censored the past few days, it would leave so many questions that she might go and try to find the answers. If he didn't censor it, how would she react to finding out about his past? Perhaps most important of all, how would he face her? He was furious at Nick for going with Kevin although a little voice inside him whispered he was really jealous. When Nick had dated women, Brian had never been upset or felt threatened. He felt threatened now, but he wasn't sure how to fight back without losing everything that he thought he had ever wanted. AJ rushed from the session not really knowing where he was going. His feet took him to Richard's room and he knocked on the door. Richard let him in. His bag was packed. AJ sat on the neatly made bed. "You're leaving?" "I'm getting picked up at four." "That's great.", AJ smiled weakly. Richard looked at his buddy. "What happened?" "Saw Kevin. Guess I wasn't really ready." Richard nodded. "I'm not sure I'm ready either." "For what?" "The world out there." "Then stay." "I can't. My insurance only covers these four weeks." "I'll pay. I've got plenty of money." "I know you do and I can't let you do that." "Why?" "Because it would be wrong. I'd feel...anyway, I just can't. I have to face my life again." "Who's coming to get you?" "A friend. Her name is Alex too." "Coincidence, huh?" "Yea." "I'm sorry, Richard." "For what?" "I've been a real ass sometimes." "So have I, that's what recovery is about isn't it?" "Maybe." "So no harm, no foul." "But there was harm." "How?" "I wanted to make love to you and never got too." Alex looked up at Richard with pleading eyes. Richard had never seen him so open, so begging before. He made a snap decision he knew he might regret later. "I've got an hour left." He pulled his white tee shirt over his head revealing his perfect six pac and his pumped up chest lightly covered with hair. "You can do a lot in an hour." Kevin and Nick found a motel several miles from the center. Nick checked them in while Kevin huddled in the car. They quietly carried their stuff into their room. Two double beds and working air-conditioning. Kevin flopped down on the closest bed, exhausted and strung out. "Wanna get something to eat?" Kevin shook his head. "They gotta pool." Kevin rolled over. Nick saw Kevin's strong shoulders shaking. "Hey, what is it?", Nick walked over to Kevin. He put his hand on Kevin's shoulder and realized that Kevin was crying. Nick couldn't have been more shocked if Kevin had put on a dress and danced to "Swan Lake". Cool, controlled Kevin, always in charge, always restrained, was crying like a child. Nick wrapped his arms around him to try to comfort him. Richard stood in front of Alex with his crotch at eye level. Alex didn't want to take his eyes off it, but slowly, he looked up Richard's body and met his smiling eyes. Richard started to unbutton his jeans and reveal his bush of black hair around his cock. He had a tattoo of a cartoon character on his pelvis. Alex leaned over and kissed it gently. He inhaled Richard's distinctive male scent. Richard moved back for a second to finish pulling off his jeans. His well-muscled back flexed as he turned around and bent over to give Alex a good look at his round bubble butt. He dropped his jeans on the floor and kicked off his sandals. Alex was treated to a view of the feathery dark hairs that lightly covered Richard's ass, growing thicker and darker as they disappeared into Richard's crack. Alex's cock was as hard as granite in his sweats. His pre-cum was leaking out and leaving a growing wet spot on the front of them. Richard turned back to give Alex the full frontal view. Richard's cock was fat, 'maybe even fatter than Kevin's', Alex thought briefly. It was long and uncut, just the way Alex liked his men. His balls were heavy, low hangers, not shaved but furry and proud, like a real man's. "So, how about it? You just gonna sit there? Go on, touch it. It's what you've wanted all along." Alex reached out and gently grasped the massive cock. It had to be at least 9-inches long and he could barely get his hand around it. It was hot and as Alex stroked the skin down over the head, it began to drip. Alex moaned and began to lick along the length of the cock. He swirled his tongue around the head, swallowing all the sweet pre-cum. Richard placed his hand behind Alex's head and so he opened his mouth as wide as possible and took the cock in deeper. Richard pushed his hips forward and slid his cock in as far as Alex could take it. Then he pulled completely out. "I want to see yours, now." Alex quickly stripped off the few clothes he had on and offered his tight muscled body up for Richard's inspection. Richard looked him up and down and noticed Alex's swollen cock leaking to the floor. He wiped it off with his hand and offered it up for Alex to eat. Alex ate his own pre-cum hungrily from Richard's hand and when he had finished, Richard's tongue invaded his mouth. His tongue searched every crevice in Alex's mouth and shared the taste of the fluid Alex had made. Alex felt Richard's arms wrap around him and felt Richard pushing him down on the bed. Alex dropped back and scooted up the bed until his head was resting on the pillows. Richard broke apart their kiss to look at him. "God, you're sexy." "So are you.", Alex leaned forward to kiss Richard again but Richard had other plans now. He licked and kissed his way down Alex's body. He licked his armpits and sucked his nipples. He left a saliva trail down Alex's belly as he headed for his goal. With one sudden movement, he took Alex's cock in his mouth and swallowed him to the root. Alex involuntarily jerked half- upright as Richard took his cock down his throat. 'This was a master.', Alex knew. He kept the pressure on and Alex knew his first orgasm was just seconds away. "Oh, God...please...no...oh God...yesssss...yessss...yessss." Alex blew the load he had been saving for weeks. Gallons of cum seemed to spurt from his cock but Richard never missed a drop, his tight throat muscles visibly expanding and retracting as he swallowed Alex's cum. Once his cock was reduced to a trickle, Richard eased off and nursed the last drops out with his tongue. "Damn." "I think you needed that.", Richard smiled. "Fuck, that was great!" "It gets even better." Richard moved up the bed to position himself over Alex's body. Capturing Alex's head between his massive, hairy thighs. He waved his cock over Alex's face. He slapped his cheeks with it and kept it just out of reach of Alex's straining tongue. His balls danced tantalizingly on Alex's chin. "You want this?" "Please." "Yea, you want it bad, don't ya?" "God, please, I need it.", Alex panted. Richard stopped teasing and fed Alex his thick cock. It had been a long time since Alex had had anything that big in his mouth and his gag reflex kicked in a few times before Richard could safely feed Alex his big dick. Finally his throat relaxed and his jaw widened, Alex allowed his face to be fucked by Richard. And a royal fucking it was! Richard rammed his cock deep inside Alex and rode him until he finally let out a cry like a wounded bear and Alex felt his cum streaming into him. Alex swallowed as best as he could, but some of Richard's cum escaped his mouth and dribbled down his chin. When Richard finished and pulled his cock out, he kissed Alex and licked up his own cum from his face. Then he shared it with Alex in a long, soulful kiss. He laid his body down on top of Alex and covered him. Alex rested under the warmth of Richard and gloried in his scent. Nick hadn't planned it. Kevin's tears had triggered something inside him. He wrapped Kevin in his arms as best as he could and let him cry himself out. He kissed him gently, around the eyes and forehead, trying to comfort him. His mouth moved south and he felt it brush the soft hair of Kevin's goatee. Their lips touched and they hungrily began to devour each other. Kevin knew it was mistake even as he gave in to his need to feel a male body pressed against his own. It had been so long. Nick was eager and rolled over so that he was on top of Kevin. Feeling Kevin's long body stretched under him, Nick continued searching Kevin's mouth with his tongue. Kevin's hands ran up and down Nick's back before resting on his ass and his fingers squeezed Nick's ass cheeks. Nick broke apart their kiss to sit up and take off his shirt. Kevin ran his fingers over Nick's smooth chest. He rubbed the nipples gently with a soft, circular motion. The feel of a man's body under his hands again was wonderful. Nick leaned over and kissed Kevin and began undoing his shirt. Kevin raised himself up and shrugged it off so that Nick could see his perfectly muscled smooth chest. Nick played with Kevin's nipples briefly before lowering himself to suck on them. Kevin arched his back to meet the hot wetness of Nick's mouth and gave himself up Nick's tonguing. He placed his hands behind Nick's head and held him down tightly. Nick kept moving lower as he sucked and licked his way down Kevin' taut six-pac. He unbuttoned Kevin's jeans, then unzipped him with his teeth revealing Kevin's dark green boxers. Kevin sat up and he and Nick broke apart just long to finish undressing. When they reconnected, Kevin laid his body down on top of Nick and kissed him, first on the mouth, then he moved on to Nick's ears. His tongue savored every bit of flesh, including the earlobes, driving Nick crazy. Kevin moved down, kissing and licking Nick's shoulders and neck. He lifted Nick's arms and pinned them behind his head to bury his face in Nick's armpit. His tongue tickled the blond wisps of Nick's hair. Finishing there, Kevin moved on to Nick's nipples. He couldn't get enough of Nick's sexy smooth body. He would suck on one while twisting the other. Not able to wait much longer, Kevin mouthed his way down the rest of Nick's body and kissed the head of his cock. He licked the side of it down until he reached his balls. He concentrated on one, then the other, getting them soaked and tight. Then he reached out and lifted Nick's legs up over his shoulders. He returned to the underside of Nick's balls but now continued under until he reached Nick's hole. He dampened the fine blond hairs of Nick's asscrack and then began working on the hole. He pushed his tongue in as far he could get it. "Oh, God, yes.!", Nick cried out. "Eat my ass, I love it!" His favorite thing in the world was to get his ass eaten before being properly fucked. Kevin's muffled moans indicated that he was enjoying it as much as Nick. "Fuck me, Kevin. Oh God, fuck me hard!" Kevin stopped his tonguing and raised up to look Nick in the eyes. "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Do you have any lube?" "All I need is your tongue.", Nick answered. Kevin lowered back down to wet Nick's hole as thoroughly as he could. Then he lowered Nick's ass and after spitting on his cock and wetting it, he positioned it at the entrance to Nick's hole. "Are you ready?" "Yea, man. Put it in there and fuck me hard!" Kevin began to slide into Nick's hole gently but Nick's urgency caused him to push out which swallowed half of Kevin's cock in one thrust. Kevin closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of a hot ass close around his cock for the first time in years. The heat drove Kevin to finish pushing his cock all the way into Nick's ass. Nick felt Kevin's bush rub against his ass cheeks and let out a moan of satisfaction. He had taken it all. Kevin rotated his cock around inside Nick's ass to get him warmed up and loose for the pounding he intended to give him. Nick urged him on with loud cries and Kevin began slowly pulling out only to ram it back in harder. Nick loved submitting to a big cock and he had never felt so full and dominated as now, with Kevin hammering his ass. Kevin pumped harder and faster until he couldn't take it anymore. "I'm close, baby." Nick's own orgasm was closing in thanks to Kevin's cock ramming his prostate. "Yea, give it to me! Please, cum inside me!" "Yea, you want my cum?", Kevin nodded, looking into Nick's eyes. "Oh, yea, Kevin please, give it to me, please." "I'm cumming, close..., so...now...ahhhh.!" Kevin unleashed a wave of cum into Nick's tight hole. The contractions of Nick's ass squeezed the fluid out of Kevin and provided the final stimulus for Nick's own orgasm. "Oh, God, yes....". Kevin watched as Nick's head thrashed against the pillow and his cock splattered cum all over his belly, chest and even face. Kevin leaned down to lick his own cum off of Nick's face, sharing the load with Nick in a passionate kiss. As he pulled back to slowly exit from Nick's ass, Nick grabbed him. "Don't." Kevin looked at him. "Fuck me again, now. You're still hard, I can tell." Kevin's cock thickened and he began slowly pumping into Nick's ass again. "So you need more?" "A lot more." Kevin grinned. "Well, I guess I'm just putty in your hands." Nick looked Kevin directly in the eyes. "In my hands, nothing turns to putty." Kevin rammed it all the home and Nick dropped back on the pillow to enjoy another round. After Richard's departure, Alex lay on the bed and enjoyed the smell of sex and sweat that they had left behind. He could still taste the cum in his mouth. Richard had left a number that he could call. He didn't know if he would ever use the number but he did know he would remember this moment for the rest of his life. Kevin and Nick made love four more times that night before finally collapsing in exhaustion. Kevin wrapped Nick in his arms and they fell asleep cuddling each other. Both knew they would remember this night forever. Brian slept alone, tortured by doubts and fears, and hoped he would never remember this night, ever... TBC... Please e-mail any feedback, good or bad to thumper1561@hotmail.com