DISCLAIMER: Story is fiction. None of it's true. Not even the imaginary lives I've created for the celebrities. So don't go running to the magazines to sell the story that Justin, Lance, Jc are really gay. It would be a lie. And we don't want you telling lies now do we. Besides, I would hate to sick Gabriel on all of you.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: LIKE A RITUAL
Times are changing We'd best beware The world is in the electric chair The state holds out it's loving cup Singing power to the people but the powers corrupt Burning crosses and secretly Carry swastikas and M16's Nevermind the pages of history Its just keeps repeating keeps repeating...R Beach
Most of the evening was a blur for Gabriel. When Lance had brought that second tray of shots, his memory became fuzzy. A few hours later, he vaguely remembered stumbling to the elevator. Lance had managed to drink himself unconscious and with Justin's help, they dragged him upstairs.
Joey and Chris were no help; they could barely walk themselves and were helping each other negotiate the hallway, laughing loudly. When the doors opened, Lonnie and Tommy were standing there, frowns on their faces.
"Don't start now Lonnie." Justin ordered, not in the mood for a lecture.
"Lonnie, what's up?" Lance screamed/slurred loudly, grinning madly.
"My god, he's wasted." Lonnie shook his head disapprovingly. "Do you need help with him?"
"Lonnie, have I ever told you how beautiful you are to me?" Joey asked, leaning on the big man.
"No." Lonnie stated, raising an eyebrow.
"Well you are." Joey declared, kissing the bodyguard on the cheek.
"Thanks." Lonnie said dryly. Looking at Tommy, he instructed, "Grab the other one and we'll get these two drunks to their beds."
The two bodyguards ushered Joey and Chris to their respective rooms while Justin and Gabriel proceeded to Lance's room where they deposited him unceremoniously on the bed.
Lance giggled when he hit the bed, sighing loudly. Looking at the two men who were frowning down on him he said, "Gabriel, told you about drinking didn't I?"
"Yes you did." Gabriel smiled at him, amused at the scene. It wasn't every day that he saw a celebrity rocked out of his mind; come to think of it, it wasn't everyday he slept with a celebrity either.
"Should we undress him?" Justin asked, looking over at the blond.
"Yes, undress me." Lance slurred, flinging his arms out from his sides. "Two sexy men undressing me."
"God, is he always like this?" Gabriel asked, reaching for Lance's foot.
"If you mean horny, yes." Justin replied, grabbing the other one. "And if you're implying about gay, he's that too."
"Is everyone in your band gay?" Gabriel teased, throwing the shoe on the floor.
"Yeah, touch me." Lance was mumbling.
"Shut up." Justin stated, smacking him on the thigh.
"I likes it rough." Giggled Lance.
Gabriel looked down on Lance and then back to Justin. "I think you better undo his pants. He looks a bit too happy for my tastes."
Justin looked down and saw Lance's erection, "Christ Lance, can't you ever get enough." Shaking his head, he quickly undid the pants.
"Juju, why didn't you tell me you were gay?" Lance asked as each of them grabbed a pant leg and ripped his pants down.
Throwing the expensive pants on the ground, Justin replied while he pulled Lance up, "Lance, I'm gay."
"Welcome to the club." Lance said dramatically before falling back down.
"Grab him will ya and hold him up so I can take off his coat and shirt." Justin asked Gabriel, his lips tight across his face.
Gabriel did as instructed and held him there while Justin undressed his friend. The whole time Lance continued babbling, "If only Joshie could admit it. Then my life would be perfect."
"Shut up Lance." Justin spat out, a touch of anger in his voice. "It's your own fault Josh is fucking that girl right now."
Gabriel shook his head sadly, even through the alcohol he could sympathize with Lance. He knew all to well about loving someone who couldn't love him back.
Finally Justin had stripped the singer until he was wearing just his boxers. Lance fell back against the bed, tears falling down his cheeks. "I know. I'm stupid sometimes."
"Only sometimes." Justin quipped, throwing the covers over his friend. "Go to sleep Lance. We've got a busy day tomorrow."
Gabriel had kept silent during the exchange, knowing that it was not his place to talk. He felt like he was intruding on a special bond between friends. He started walking towards the door when Justin turned to leave.
They had just made it to the door when Lance called out, "Justin, sing to me. Sing to me like you used to."
Justin gave Gabriel a crooked smile and walked back into the room. He sat down on the bed and brushed Lance's cheek. "Okay, only if you promise to go to sleep."
"I swear." Lance whispered, tears pooling on the bed.
Justin asked, "What do you want me to sing?"
"Anything. I just need to hear someone I love singing to me." Lance sobbed.
"Okay." Justin said and then began singing softly; "I'll be your dream. I'll be your wish. I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope I'll be your love. Be everything that you need. I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do. I will be strong I will be faithful `cause I'm counting on."
As Justin sang, Gabriel listened to the purity of his voice. A clear and strong voice that spoke of the love that he shared with his friend. As he watched him stroke Lance's cheek, he felt no jealousy. It was the single most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. The bond between the five friends was powerful, he saw that they were more than bandmates, more than friends, they had somehow managed to become family.
The look in Justin's eyes as he stared at his friend was as pure as the freshly fallen snow and Gabriel's heart sang that he had been allowed to see it in all it's glory.
His attention went back to the words Justin was singing, "I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to stay like this forever. Until the sky falls down on me."
His voice drifted off, Lance smiling contently in his sleep. Justin bent over and kissed his forehead gently and whispered, "Rest now, tomorrow we'll work it out somehow."
Switching off the light, they left the sleeping pop star snoring loudly. Once in the hall, Justin smiled weakly at Gabriel and stated, "I'm sorry about that. He's under a lot of strain at the moment."
"I understand." Gabriel said wistfully. "It must be hard for him to be in love with his best friend."
"You have no idea." Justin said with a grin, not a happy grin but a grin more out of pity. "It's getting late."
"That's right." Gabriel yawned loudly. "You have a busy day tomorrow don't you."
"Yeah, I should probably go to bed." Justin informed him, walking towards his room.
Gabriel stood in the hall in front of Lance's door, a longing look on his scarred face. He never thought that seeing Justin walk away from him would be so hard or so heart wrenching. But he was powerless to say anything.
When Justin opened his door, he looked back at Gabriel and said with a smile, "Aren't you coming?"
Smiling, Gabriel walked quickly over to Justin who greeted him with a kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other and tasted one another's lust.
For a moment they were lost in each other's embrace until Joey poked his head out of the hall and said, "Eww, Justin's kissing that damn director. Now we'll have to wear spandex."
They heard Chris answer from inside the room and then Joey slammed the door shut. Laughing, Justin stated, "We should probably move this inside."
Gabriel pulled him into the room. Justin slammed the door and headed towards the bedroom, Gabriel wasn't far behind.
They fell on the bed and Gabriel yelled out, "Ouch, that fucking hurt."
"What?" Justin asked, concern in his blue eyes.
Gabriel reached inside his jacket and pulled out his mobile. "This damn thing jabbed me in the ribs."
Justin grabbed it from his hand and turned off the power. Explaining, "I don't want any interruptions tonight."
Gabriel grinned and struggled out of his jacket. Both of them undressing hurriedly clothes flying all over the room. When Gabriel got down to his shirt, he stopped suddenly. Damn, I didn't want him to see my body he thought.
Justin continued and in no time he was down to his boxers, a questioning look on his face when he saw Gabriel's apprehension.
"Ah." Gabriel stammered. "Let me get the lights."
"No." Justin stated, reaching out for his arm. "I want to see you."
Giving in, Gabriel shucked off his pants and pushed Justin on the bed. Ripping off Justin's multi-colored boxers, he started kissing Justin's stomach.
Justin grabbed his head and said, "Tonight it's my turn."
He rolled Gabriel over on his back and straddled his stomach, his erection bobbing in front of him. "Tonight I want to give you the same pleasure you gave me."
Gabriel smiled and Justin bent down and kissed him passionately while he started undoing the buttons on his shirt. When they were all done, he pulled the fabric back and for the first time saw Gabriel's toned chest. The same chest he had caressed last night, the same chest he felt moving while they held each other close.
Smiling, he kissed Gabriel's neck before kissing his way down the smooth chest, taking time on each nipple. Wincing at the purplish bruise on his shoulder his eyes widened when he saw the bullet hole scar in Gabriel's left side but he continued down to the cloth-covered erection. Figuring those were questions for a later time.
Gabriel started moaning when Justin's hand stroked his erect member. The sensation from his body mixed with the alcohol and sent his head spinning, a falling feeling that he never wanted to stop. Raising his hips slightly, he allowed Justin to pull off his boxer briefs, exposing his lust for him to see.
Justin looked at him, his eyes glowing with a burning desire to pleasure an uncontrollable urge to consume him completely. Growling in the back of his throat, he opened his mouth and swallowed him completely in one fluid motion.
"Oh yeah." He groaned, playing with the curls on Justin's head. "That feels so good."
Keeping up the suction, he lightly massaged Gabriel's scrotum, enjoying the sounds his lover was making in the back of his throat. When he felt that Gabriel was getting close, he stopped, causing the blond to moan in disappointment.
"Not yet." He whispered, finding Gabriel's hot mouth again. "I've got other plans for you tonight."
Gabriel returned the kiss, clawing at Justin's back roughly. For a time they stayed like that, locked in each other's arms, kissing madly. Enjoying the torture they were inflecting on each other, controlling the growing lust that threatened to engulf them.
This was a new experience for Gabriel. Never before had he allowed someone else control, never before had he allowed himself to lose everything in a kiss. The emotion coursing through his mind exploded in thousands of tiny pricks on his marred skin, stimulating him until he lost all control.
With a loud yell he lost it, emptying himself between them. Justin stopped the kiss and looked at him, a knowing smile on his face.
Gabriel felt embarrassed, never had he experienced an orgasm without touching himself before. He shut his eyes from Justin's grin.
"Wow, I've never done that before." Justin said with a kiss. "I'm better than I thought."
"Believe me, I've never done that before either." Gabriel replied sheepishly. What is wrong with me? I can't let this happen. I can't.
Kissing him, he said, "I." Kiss. "Find." Kiss. "That." Kiss. "So." Kiss. "Hot." Kiss.
Gabriel felt his embarrassment slip away under the onslaught of Justin's kisses. It all left, his fear, his anguish at the loss of control. He accepted it for what it was and embraced it fully.
Justin moved down slightly, licking off the sticky cum from Gabriel's stomach before he grabbed his legs and lifted them onto his shoulders. Smiling down at him, Justin asked silently for permission.
Gabriel smiled at him and with his legs pulled Justin closer to him. Justin guided his dick to Gabriel's waiting hole, pushing slightly when he felt resistance.
Thrusting his hips forward, he slipped inside causing a moan to escape Gabriel's lips. His pink tongue darted to lick his lips as he moved his head to the side. Justin pushed all the way in and waited for Gabriel to adjust to the feeling. Their eyes met, blues eyes shining like orbs in a barren sea of white, reflecting their innermost desires.
Gabriel whispered, "Please."
Justin smiled and started slowly thrusting his hips, his eyes burning brightly. They stayed like that, joined in a way only lovers know. Complete.
Sweat ran like rivers off their bodies, soaking the mattress beneath them. Groaning loudly, Justin leaned down and tasted the sweat taste of Gabriel, invading his mouth with his tongue urgently. Gabriel could only hold tighter, all control was lost, and he was helpless to the sensation of Justin inside him. A slave to a master that he could not comprehend.
As Justin felt his own impending release, he started thrusting harder, faster. His hips moving in a blurry motion, the sound of flesh smacking flesh echoed around the room only to be re-enforced by Gabriel's whimpering as he clawed at the muscular back viciously.
Throwing back his head, his eyes shut tight, Justin screamed out as he buried himself deep inside of Gabriel, his release exploding out of him at a velocity that staggered his mind and left him with an euphoric high. Twitching involuntary, he collapsed onto Gabriel breathing heavily.
Gabriel stroked his back and kissed his sweaty head that rested on his toned chest. Justin mumbled, "Wow, I've never cum that hard before."
Gabriel smiled; words were not needed as he held his lover tightly to him. As Justin tried to regain his motor functions, Gabriel felt Justin's member twitching inside of him, a feeling that surprisingly felt right.
When Justin returned to consciousness, he kissed him tenderly. Trying to convey his emotions with a single lasting kiss. Slipping out of Gabriel, he rested on the hard body. Both men were smiling, content in the after glow of their lovemaking. Realizing that Gabriel was quite hard again, Justin moved his body up until he felt the now familiar feeling of something between his cheeks. Smiling wickedly, he rose up quickly and sat down.
Gabriel groaned loudly as Justin gasped at the new sensations rippling through his body. Slowly, methodically, Justin started riding Gabriel. Gabriel found the smooth chest, teasing the sensitive nipples, stroking the firm stomach that was Justin.
With a voyeuristic fascination, Gabriel watched Justin. His head was thrown back, his eyes shut tightly. His mouth was open slightly and every few seconds he would bite his lip. He wondered if that was how he had looked to Justin just a few minutes earlier, fulfilled. Reaching down between Justin's legs, he gripped the singer's erection, matching the rhythm perfectly.
His toes started to curl; his breath coming in short gasps as Justin instinctively knew the end was approaching and sped up to adjust accordingly. Screaming loudly, Gabriel exploded followed by a second orgasm from Justin. He felt the sticky warm substance hit his stomach right before Justin stopped his furious fucking. Breathing harder than before, Justin once again took his place on Gabriel's chest.
Forever they stayed like that locked together in passion. After a while, Justin stated, "I'm going to feel that in the morning."
Laughing Gabriel agreed, "Oh yeah, I won't be able to forget this night for awhile."
Justin stroked Gabriel's long sweaty hair before tracing the scar that adorned his face. Seeing Gabriel tense as he touched the scar, he kissed the cheek gently. "I love this. It makes you seem more real to me."
"What?" Gabriel asked, confusion on his face.
"This scar lets me know that your are real." Justin explained, continuing to trace the line down his cheek. "Not even in my wildest fantasies would I think to add this scar. When I see it, I know that what happened between is real and not a dream."
Gabriel couldn't help himself; tears came to his eyes unbidden, the first time he cried since he was a little kid in the hospital fighting for his life so many years ago. But this time it wasn't tears of fear. Fear he could overcome, fear he could will away and lock it somewhere deep down inside of him. But this was something that he had no control over. He felt his heart would burst with gladness.
Justin smiled lovingly as he wiped the tears away from his cheeks, "Don't cry."
"I can't help it." Gabriel sobbed. "I don't know what's happening to me."
"Its called feeling." Justin said softly.
Suddenly Gabriel understood. It was like being in a dark room and then someone turning on the light. For the first time he allowed his feelings to surface. The coldness he had wrapped himself around many years earlier vanished. The warmth of love covered him, burning away the frigid exterior that he had carefully constructed. Like an ocean wave covering him it washed him clean, leaving his body pink and healthy.
Then all was lost as the dam broke and Gabriel wept the tears of loneliness. Forever, Justin held him as he wept uncontrollably. Like a man bobbing in a storm tossed sea, Justin was his life preserver, the one that he clung to as the ocean inside him fought to take his life. Every time Justin whispered in his ear that everything was going to be all right, the seas lessened.
Then suddenly the sun came out and the sea was calm. Justin was still there holding him tightly, a slight smile on his face as he caressed his head. Gabriel smiled back at him weakly, embarrassed at his show of weakness but comfortable with the thought that it had been Justin to witness it.
Justin looked at him and asked, "Feel better?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry about that." Gabriel offered as he caressed Justin's arm. "I'm better now."
Kissing Justin's cheek he began to move, "I've got to go to the head."
Justin turned on his side, his head resting on his hand as he watched Gabriel walk into the bathroom. He could not remember being so happy, not even with Britney. Here was a person that could stimulate him on all levels. The one thing that he had been missing his whole life. Sighing, he finally felt complete.
Not only was Gabriel intelligent and strong but he had shown a softer side that Justin could not resist. After all his speculation on Gabriel's motives the last two days, he finally saw the real Gabriel. Lying there crying in his arms was a real man, not a lie or a fabrication of half-truths but the real man behind the mask.
Rubbing his stomach with his free hand, he yawned loudly. Hearing the door open, he smiled as Gabriel walked back into the room. His long hair hung about his shoulders like a cloak. He was still wearing his shirt, the bottom resting just above his thighs. It was no surprise that Justin's heart skipped a beat whenever he saw him.
Gabriel stood by the bed, taking in the sight of Justin's nude body on the sweat soaked bed. Like a model out of some kind of Roman tapestry, strong, the very image of vitality that the Roman's worshiped. My Roman god Gabriel thought.
"Aren't you coming back to bed?" Justin asked breathlessly, rubbing his chest seductively. "I'm getting chilly."
Stripping off his shirt, Gabriel turned the light off before slipping into bed. With Justin already facing him on his side, he turned around and pushed his body back into Justin's warmth. Instinctively Justin reached around pulled him closer, kissing his neck tenderly. Within moments the two men were fast asleep. Each lost in their own dreams. For Gabriel it was another night without nightmares, for tonight his Roman god was holding him, keeping him safe from his demons.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jc was sitting on the edge of his bed, a cigarette in one hand and a razor in the other. He was naked, his hair disheveled and matted against his head. The girl that had come up to his room was long gone. All that was left was the faint smell of her perfume and Jc's embarrassment.
Taking a deep drag from the cigarette, he wiped the tears from his eyes. It had not turned out the way he had hoped. Instead of forgetting about Lance, the girl only served as a reminder that he was hopelessly in love with the deep voiced singer.
Everything had been going great in the bar. She was attractive, maybe a bit old for his usual fare but still in the prime of beauty. She had been more than willing to go back to his room and fuck his brains out.
But when he got her back to the room, he found out that she could not arouse him. He had to give her an A for effort, she had tried everything. A sexy lap dance that involved crotch grinding. She even took the flaccid penis in her mouth, which only proved to him that nothing she could do would ever be enough.
Twenty minutes after she arrived in the room he had sent her away. Now, hours later he was sitting on the bed, contemplating the unthinkable. A part of him laughed at his silliness, how could kill yourself with a razor? But the other part of him was willing to try and find out.
I don't want this. What would my parents say? What would the world say? I want to change. I don't want to be in love with a man. Even if that man was Lance. Beautiful, kind, gentle, funny, caring, sexy Lance. Just at the mention of his name caused his penis to jump in anticipation. Absently toying with the bandages on his hands, he thought of Lance.
This only angered him more. Thinking of a guy should not arouse him. What kind of freak am I? Why can't god take this away from me?
Earlier today he had been willing to try. But that was before Lance decided to get a blowjob from the hotel staff. If only I could have seen this sooner. Don't think like that he argued with himself. God had shown me the error of my ways before I went down that path he reminded his own lust. He saved me.
Then way didn't he save you the first time you slept with him his mind mocked. You know you loved it. Your entire life has been a journey to find love. And what do you do when you find it? You run from it, scared, hiding in the dark.
How long have you prayed to God to send you someone to love? How long have you waited for that special someone? Would God answer your prayer with something that was wrong?
"Fuck." He screamed, throwing the razor across the room. "Leave me alone." He chastised himself.
He grabbed a pair of shorts and pulled them on. Grabbing his half-empty pack of cigarettes he left the room. Once in the hall he stopped. Where would he go?
Sighing he looked at Lance's door. Behind that door is everything you want.
Jc turned and saw Justin standing there, a disapproving frown on his face. He seemed to float in the hallway and Jc could swear that he was transparent.
"Remember what I said life is about the journey."
Jc shut his eyes and opened them again. "I must be seeing things."
But he could still hear Justin's voice echoing in his head, "Remember."
Jc opened the door and walked inside the room. He could hear Lance breathing loudly from the bedroom. Making sure he was silent, he crept into the room.
Lance was lying on his side gripping a pillow tightly to his body and was muttering in between loud breaths. The smell of vomit was strong in the room and Jc realized that Lance must have thrown up sometime in the night.
As he walked closer, the sight of Lance caused him to smile. His Lance. The one who held him and comforted him in the darkness. The one person who could make him smile no matter what kind of day he was having. Just being this close to him was enough to bring an inner peace to his tumultuous soul.
Pulling a chair close to the bed he sat down. Lance was in no condition to hear what he had to say right now but he was not going to lose the opportunity in the morning. He wouldn't give Lance a chance to fuck the next boy he saw. The next boy Lance fucked would be him.
He lit up a cigarette and waited. Patiently he watched his lover sleep, smoking cigarette after cigarette. Not again, not ever again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A siren caused Scott to stir. He opened his eyes and immediately regretted it. His head pounded, his throat was dry and he was stiff all over. Then a horrible smell assaulted his brain causing him to become nauseous.
Sitting up he found the cause of the smell. He was sitting in a dumpster. For a moment he tried to reason out why, then it all came rushing back to him. He had been on his way to get some food when he heard a noise behind him. Then the world went black.
Getting out of the dumpster was a chore; his limbs were having trouble moving properly. It was like he could think about moving them but somewhere in his body nothing was getting the information to move.
Groaning, he dropped to the ground. Immediately he bent over and emptied his stomach on the ground. Wiping his mouth, he figured that he had been hit with a powerful stun gun. That would explain the light-headedness and nausea.
"Fuck me." He stated as he searched his pockets. Everything was gone, his gun, wallet, keys, phone, everything. "Gabe is going to kill me."
He walked out of the alleyway and saw his car still there. "That's weird. They roll me and steal everything but they leave the car behind."
Looking up at the night sky he frowned. He had been out for hours. No telling what had went on in his absence. Walking to his car, he quickly checked it for boobytraps or any signs of tampering. Satisfied that all was well, he reached under the left rear tire well and retrieved the spare key he had hidden there.
Getting in his car, he sped off towards Gabriel's apartment. If someone wanted access to the apartment, they had everything they needed from his key ring. If that were the case, Gabriel would kill him for sure. He was happy with his life here and if Scott fucked it all up then there would be the devil to pay.
It didn't take him long to get back to the apartment. After parking his car, he took the service elevator up. When the doors opened he peered out into the hallway. All was clear.
When he got to the door he cursed loudly. How could he get in? He didn't have any keys. Going back downstairs to the doorman's office, he borrowed his phone.
After twenty rings he gave up. Something was wrong, Gabriel always answered his phone. It was never off. Suddenly becoming scared, he went back to his car. The only place left would be for him to go back to his place and wait to see if Gabriel contacted him. Either way, he felt it was time to cut and run.
On the twenty-minute drive to his house, he mentally went over his bank accounts. "Fuck me. My laptop is in the apartment." This was not turning out to be a very good evening at all. He had to find out what happened to Gabriel and fast. Everything he was, was on the laptop. And the laptop was in Gabriel's apartment that may or may not have been broken into.
"He's going to kill me for sure." Scott muttered.
To Be Continued
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