Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 05:33:31 +0000 From: Nathan Wolf Subject: Blood Angel (Chapter 11, Part 1) OK, I'm back. I know it took a while but I had to figure out what to do with the whole war thing, and if I wanted anyone to die. I won't tell you if someone is going to die, but you might pick up things here and there from this chapter. I promise the next one will be out as soon as I can pull it off. I hope you like the way the story is going. BSB are (not) gay. Now on with the story. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Putting N'Sync in the same room with BSB proved to be not such a disastrous idea as it seemed in the first place. Justin sat next to Nick right away and started a conversation on their latest songs. He and Nick had always managed to get along smoothly, without a trace of competition and with absolute love for music. Lance and Kevin found a spot little further away from everyone and seemed to be discussing a life or death question, which, in that case, Justin knew was true. Brian was glued to Robby's side, and Robby didn't seem to mind at all. Chris, of course, was still bugging Derrick with unreasonable questions, while Joey found a comfortable couch and went back to his half-asleep stage. Howie didn't move since N'Sync came in, which Justin expected anyway; Howie was always the one firing up the already nonexistent competition. AJ and JC seemed to be sitting at the furthest possible distance from each other. JC looked as if he was barely managing to hold back tears and trying to grin at the same time, while the look of pain on AJ's face made Justin decide that he will find out what actually happened, if he has to torture both of them just to get the answers. After some fifteen minutes of discussion, Kevin and Lance joined Robby and Brian, and Derrick soon managed to shake off Chris and give them his piece of mind. Kevin's voice soon rose, and everyone quieted down, the way kids quiet down when their father is about to punish them: "The N'Sync guys... can any of you use any weapons?" JC sounded off first: "Knife... or a gun." Chris simply shrugged: "I don't like weapons that much actually... I can use my hands better than a gun." Kevin nodded, and gazed towards Joey: "What about you, sleeping beauty?" Joey actually grinned wide to that comment, which made everyone smile and the tension in the room reasonably lessen: "Of course I'm a beauty... there's nothing funny about that. Weapons? Um... well, give me a gun and I can fire it, but I can't guarantee that I can reload it." That actually received a couple of honest laughs, and even Derrick grinned Joey's response. Kevin smiled and rolled his eyes jokingly, but he kept up the line of questions: "Justin?" Justin blushed uncomfortably; all eyes seemed to be on him. He could feel Derrick's gaze traveling across his face, and that made his face considerably more flushed: "I... I can't really use anything. I'm kind of like Joey.. only I'm not sure if I can even fire a gun." That caused couple of laughs too, but Kevin moved on, nodding as if Justin had said that he can use every weapon invented. At that point, Justin would have kissed Kevin in gratitude. Before Kevin turned to Lance, Lance was already talking: "I can use staff and my hands... a gun if there is no other choice." That seemed to satisfy both Robby and Derrick. Robby positioned himself in the center of the room, and suddenly his voice seemed to be coming from everywhere. Voice full of fire, but in the same time so gentle... Justin could definitely understand what attracted Brian to Robby in the first place. His sentences flew smoothly: "We are all together now. You have agreed to help us, and now you are a target too... the only choice left is to fight. Before I met Brian I didn't have much trust in human reasoning and integrity. But he showed me just how brave and selfless a human being can be... and I hope I can find the same thing in all of you." He paused for a moment, and Justin caught Brian giving him an encouraging smile. Robby's face never changed, but his voice became stronger and more determined: "The ones who can and want to fight will come with Derrick and I... we have human troops supporting us in outer part of city, and all they are waiting for is our sign. We will hunt the Blood gang the way they hunt for humans... only until the leader is dead. When the leader dies, the war is over. "Of course, some of you will have to stay here... I'd suggest the ones with lesser fighting skills. They will be supplied with requested weapons just like the rest of you." When Robby seemed to be done with his speech, everyone nodded enthusiastically, and seemed to be ready to go on a vampire killing spree right away. However, Kevin's voice seemed to cut the commotion in half: "Joey, Chris, Nick and Justin will be staying here." Justin felt as if he was punched in the stomach. Stay inside, like a coward... or even worse, hide in his room, while Derrick will be on the streets, fighting for his life. He stood up right away: "I am not staying! There is no way I'll be sitting around and waiting to find out if you guys are dead or not." "Justin, that was the final decision. You can't defend yourself... We don't want to put you in unnecessary risk..." Justin refused to accept that: "No, I'm not staying... give me a gun and I'll defend myself." Kevin seemed to be running out of nerves, so Lance took over: "Justin you are staying here; and that's final." Justin wanted to scream. He could almost feel Derrick leaving... slipping away in darkness. He reached for Derrick and his mind swirled violently, making his knees weaken. Derrick's voice broke the spell and Justin took in a deep breath, feeling a pounding headache coming up. Then he actually understood what Derrick was saying: "Justin is coming with me." Lance frowned: "Be reasonable Derrick... it's not safe for him to be out there." Derrick's facial expression became slightly exasperated: "He's not a child and he can decide for himself. If he wants to go, he will go. Besides, I need him." Lance seemed to be waiting for explanation on Derrick's last sentence, but when it became obvious that he wasn't getting one, he tried to change Derrick's mind one last time: "He can't protect himself..." Derrick cut him off sharply: "He doesn't need to. I'll protect him... with my life." The silence that followed was heavy and dark. Justin didn't dare to look at Derrick, but he could clearly feel the warmth of his eyes... The butterflies in his stomach turned to something similar to flying cows or maybe even elephants. Derrick said he will protect Justin with his life... Why? Justin didn't understand why would Derrick even care where Justin ended up in that whole mess. The possible answers made the flying elephants turn into galloping ones, and Justin sat back down, some from the stomach pain, and some from the looks everyone kept giving him. He knew what they wanted to know; why would a vampire care enough for Justin to give his life for him? That was a question Justin himself wanted an answer to. However, everyone's attention soon shifted to Nick, who stood up just like Justin had done couple of minutes before: "I'm not staying either. No one even asked me if I can use a weapon... I know more about guns than most of you here." Kevin rubbed his forehead: "Nick, we can't risk everyone..." "We are all together in this... I'm going where Brian is going, not a step behind." Then Chris stood up, and was quickly followed by Joey who, to everyone's surprise, actually looked awake: "Joey and I are going too... I personally have no intention of hiding here like a coward." Justin peered towards Lance, and noticed a tired expression on his face. Lance had given up. Kevin just sighed deeply: "We're all going then... God help us." After that, the dead silence followed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Dom let her out of his famous bear hug, Colleen felt as if every single rib in her body had been seriously bruised. His voice always seemed comforting, when she could put a face to it: "You're looking good kid. This is not a fight for a women though, I have enough men to conquer the entire state. Say, have we talked about marrying you yet?" Colleen pressed her lips together for a second, then moved closer to Dom, so she stared him straight in the eyes: "I am going to fight. I have no intention of staying in and making dinner until you return. And I will marry when I decide to marry, and who I want to marry. I hope I made that clear." Dom actually laughed, his copper hair mixed with gray falling over his face: "Just like your mother. She was always the rebel... It'll be your way Colleen." "Of course it will, there was never any doubt about it. Now, let's go over the plans again... we have a while until sunset and I wanna use every minute of it." Dom just laughed again, but instead of making another comment, he pulled the map of the town out of his pocket and spread it on the table. While Colleen was following the routes of attack with her fingers, Dom did not stop smiling. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The breakfast passed in a hurry. Everyone was talking to everyone at once, and it seemed as if the competition between the two bands never existed. JC even noticed Howie having a conversation with Joey. About what, he couldn't begin to guess, but then again, he had no better explanation for Justin's odd behavior. Last time he talked with Justin, everything seemed fine and normal... then couple of hours later, they were in a war with vampires, and one of the good guys in the vampire war had simply and plainly stated that he 'needs' Justin and that he will protect Justin with his life. JC glanced at Derrick. Derrick was an odd type of a guy, even for a vampire. One minute you couldn't even look at him without having to shiver from fear, but a second later, Derrick looked like nothing more than a boy with large, sad eyes. At that moment, his eyes were on Justin, while Justin's face wore a flushed expression which hadn't left his face for the last two hours. If JC hadn't known better, he would have thought that Justin had a crush on the vampire. If he hadn't known better. Kevin, Lance, Robby and Brian had already left to discuss the best way of escaping the hotel security. That left Joey and Howie, Derrick and Justin, Chris, who was basically a vegetable after an enormous breakfast, Nick, who was still sitting next to Justin and having a one-sided conversation with him, and of course, AJ. AJ, who looked so gorgeous with his tough guy appearance and a beautiful, gentle soul that he tried so hard to hide. AJ, who told him that the honesty is the only thing he asked for in a friendship. AJ, who spent the night crying in JC's arms after his mom stayed at the hospital because of a car accident. AJ, who didn't say a word to him after JC exposed his heart and soul, and after he admitted his most terrifying and well kept secret. JC couldn't stand being in the same room with him any more. Quickly getting to his feet, he left the room without saying a word to anyone, and continued walking down the hallway towards his room. Before he reached the door he heard steps behind him, and then a well known voice: "JC..." The voice sent strong shivers up JC's spine and he closed his eyes for a second. How many nights had he spent dreaming of AJ's voice caressing him like that? How many more sleepless nights of trying to forget the sound of his voice, the softness of his hair and skin... How many nights crying for just one kind word... some type of sign that AJ doesn't hate him... JC had lost the count long time ago, and he had no intention to start counting again. He turned and looked at AJ, training his best no-emotion face: "What do you want AJ?" Was that a hurt expression on his face? JC couldn't understand why the hell would AJ feel hurt. JC definitely had no intention of feeling bad for him: "Well? I don't have a whole day." AJ took a deep breath as if he was about to go underwater: "I... we have to talk." "No we don't. I have nothing to say to you." JC turned around and grabbed the door knob, when he felt AJ's hand on his shoulder. He could smell AJ's cologne, the same cologne he had used all the time while they were still friends. CJ could picture AJ getting out of the shower and putting it on, even before he dries himself. Water drops would play hide and seek on AJ's skin, making it look soft and translucent... AJ's voice was edgy: "Please JC..." All the thoughts of the past rushed through JC's mind in a tenth of a second. Then he jumped back, away from AJ: "Do not touch me! I don't want you close to me... not now, not ever." AJ's eyes were clear and bright, full of tears that would roll down his smooth cheeks at any second. His voice started to crack slowly: "JC... just listen to me... please..." Composing himself, JC looked at him coldly. It took all his will strength not to throw himself at AJ's chest and forgive him everything... wipe his tears away, and gently kiss his eyes for hours. Even though those thoughts raged in his mind, his face stayed composed and his voice hard: "I don't wanna listen to anything you say. Not now or ever. Don't touch me, don't talk to me... don't even look at me. As far as I'm concerned, you don't exist." With that, JC calmly stepped into his room and closed the door. After two steps he was back on the floor, weeping. But even though he felt like screaming, he wept quietly into a pillow, not wanting to give AJ the satisfaction of hearing him cry. AJ stared at the door of JC's room until they became a blur. Tears rolled down his face like waterfalls, and his chest was so tight that he could barely breathe. He wanted to crash down the door and take JC in his arms... to hold him like he used to, to explain why he acted the way he did. He was so sure that JC would understand... he had never even considered the fact that JC might be so angry with him, that he would refuse to talk. JC's words echoed his head over and over again, 'Don't touch me... don't talk to me... I don't wanna listen to anything you say... I don't want you close to me, not now, not ever... you don't exist...' Those words stung furiously, like salt poured on an already opened and bloody wound. He started walking aimlessly; he wanted to be anywhere else but in front of JC's door, where his words seemed to still be echoing the walls. He didn't even notice that he was walking towards Kevin's room, but when his feet stopped in front of Kevin's door, he knew that was exactly where he needed to be. Knocking softly, he waited couple of seconds, then raised his hand to knock again. The door opened. Kevin's eyes widened at AJ's condition. AJ's throat was strangled, and the words coming out of his mouth were forced and cracked: "I have to talk to you." Kevin motioned for him to come in, but when he stepped in, AJ right away regretted coming there at all. Robby, Brian and Lance were sitting at the dining table and having a heated discussion which died as soon as the saw AJ's tear streaked face. Brian jumped up right away: "AJ? What's wrong? Are you OK?" Kevin saved AJ the trouble of answering: "He's OK, but AJ and I have to talk, so do you guys mind moving to Brian's room? I'll join you in a while." The tone of Kevin's voice allowed no further discussion. As soon as everyone besides Kevin was gone, he made sure that the door was closed, then motioned for AJ to sit at the table. Opening a miniature fridge in the corner, Kevin asked: "Do you want anything to drink." The calmness of his voice and relaxing manner in which he acted managed to put AJ on ease. He wanted to ask for beer, but instead, his words were: "I think I'm in love with JC." Kevin straightened: "Beer it is." Sitting across from AJ, Kevin pushed a beer in front of him and smiled encouragingly: "What made that happen?" "It's along story." "I have all the time in the world." Taking a swing of the beer, AJ took a deep breath: "I started hanging out with him some seven or eight months ago..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Although Justin was trying really hard to have a conversation with Nick, his mind kept drifting off so often, that Nick actually looked concerned: "Are you OK dude? You seem kind of out of it." "I'm fine... just tired I guess. I'm gonna go back to my room and get some sleep... gotta be wide awake tonight." Nick just nodded, and Justin got up to leave when Derrick joined him on the way out. As soon as they were back in the hallway, Derrick spoke: "I prefer to stay close to you. Just in case..." Justin didn't know what to say to that, so he decided that nodding would be the best answer. He still hadn't quite managed to get used to Derrick's voice. It was so harsh and cracked that it seemed almost incomprehensible, yet Justin could understand every word Derrick said. When they got to Justin's room, Justin curled up on the bed, trying to ignore the pain in his back which seemed to have grown worse. Derrick paced up and down for couple of minutes, then stopped and focused on Justin: "Your friend... the blond one..." Justin felt new surge of hate and unrecognizable pain spreading through his chest like fire. Derrick wanted to find out more about Lance... he was interested in Lance. Justin's voice was a whisper: "Lance." "Yes, Lance. You hated him... I smiled at him and it made you hate him... and there was something else, this feeling coming from you that I haven't felt in such a long time... jealousy." Justin didn't know what to say. His face was flushed and his heart beating fast, while Derrick's eyes seemed to be staring deep into his soul. Derrick stared at him as if expecting a reaction. When Justin just kept quiet, Derrick's voice lowered to harsh whisper: "Why?" Why... Justin couldn't understand why. He knew he could if he tried, but just a thought of his mind drifting in that direction was too painful and too embarrassing to bear. Looking at Derrick's expressionless face, he managed to force out an answer: "I don't know..." Derrick still stared at him: "You reached towards me when Kevin wanted you to stay here. Your desperation grasped my mind so forcefully, that you almost made us both faint... Why Justin? You didn't feel desperation towards the possibility of your friends getting hurt and you not being there... You grabbed on to me so quickly that I lost myself in you... I had never had that happen with a human... Why?" Justin's body tensed. He knew why... there was only one possible answer. Answer he couldn't give... an answer that would make Derrick hate Justin... just like his mother did, and like David did, and so many people that Justin had lost the count long time ago. Instead of answering, Justin just stared at Derrick with pained expression on his face. He was trapped... there was no other possible answer he could give, and the answer he had, he could not say if his life depended on it. Derrick stared at the blond boy in front of him. He could see that his questions were making Justin uncomfortable, but he had to know. The amount of jealousy that raced through Justin's body while Derrick talked with Lance, was something that Derrick had never felt before. There was something in that jealousy... something he couldn't put his finger on, just like he couldn't place his finger on the exact reason for that jealousy. Then there was Justin's outburst at being forced to stay behind. Derrick had no warning for what was about to happen. All of the sudden, Justin was in his mind so strongly, that Derrick lost all the control. Justin's need had gripped his whole body... need so painful and strong, that he couldn't ignore it. As soon as he had regained the control over himself, he had announced that Justin was coming with him. At that point he realized that he would sacrifice his own life for Justin... he would do anything for Justin... and that had scared him more than anything ever had. Now, he was standing in front of that beautiful, young human, and demanded to know what made Justin act the way he did. Although the possibility of an answer he had wanted to hear made his stomach knot up. Justin seemed so small, so gentle, and the world out there was cruel beyond reason. All Derrick wanted was to protect him and take care of him... while feelings that raged through him were something he had never expected to feel towards anyone. Justin moved, as if to change position, and his face contorted in pain. Derrick was next to him in seconds: "What's wrong?" "My back... I though it was fine but it really hurts now..." "Lay down on your stomach." Justin stared at him for a second, but obeyed. Getting on the bed next to him, Derrick started slowly massaging his lower back. At first, Justin was tense and nervous. As if he wanted to hold a complete control over himself no matter what happened. Derrick lowered his head, and whispered softly in Justin's ear: "Relax... I'm not gonna bite." He felt Justin's body shiver, and Justin took a deep breath, but soon his back was relaxed. Derrick knew what he was doing. It was a part of memory he kept from the past life... he couldn't remember whom he had given the back massages to, or at what point in his life had he done it, but his hands were sure as if he had been giving back massages for centuries. He could feel the heat of Justin's body through the shirt he was wearing, and that made his stomach knot up again. He could hear Justin's breath which seemed deeper and slower, but he could feel Justin's mind, and he knew that Justin was far from falling asleep. Moving up to massage Justin's shoulder blades, he had almost managed to relax too, when a small moan escaped Justin's lips. Derrick felt a heat rush through his body. Quickly, he stood up: "I have to... have to go over some things with Robby before tonight... I'll come back for you when it's time to move." Those words seemed so hard to say. The last thing he wanted to do is leave that room and the beautiful human that was staring at him with his eyes full of need. But it was too much... too much of the feelings Derrick didn't understand and couldn't remember. Feelings that could make him weak, although he knew that, in the last couple of hours, Justin had managed to destroy almost every wall Derrick had built around himself. Turning around, he left the room quickly before he changed his mind. Outside, he leaned on the door and took a deep breath. And he had thought that his afterlife couldn't have gotten more complicated. OK, well my hotmail thing is little messed up and it wanted me to end the chapter here, but I don't give up that easily. So this is the part one of the chapter 11 and the part two should be right behind it.