Date: Wed, 9 Jul 2003 12:28:59 -0700 (PDT) From: JACK BROWN Subject: Brian and Jack / part 22/ A new day has come ********** Hi every body: I'm glad to be back here. During the past week I received tons of emails, I still haven't answered all of them, but I promise that I will. First of all I would like to thank all the people that read the story, because I write it for you. I would like to thank you for sending messages and comments. I love reading them all... Well, as you all can see, the past chapter was not the end, so Jack and Brian are back by popular request. I hope that this new part is as good as the last one. Ok, let's carry on to the story... ********** I opened my eyes slowly and I couldn't tell where I was. My head was killing me, it hurt so much. I pulled my hand up to my head and noticed that I had bandages all around my head. I looked down at myself and noticed that my legs were showing, since I was wearing some kind of gown. My left leg was plastered and I could hardly move it. My right leg was not plastered but it was all bruised. I realized then that I was in a hospital. My left hand had a little tube coming out if it. I followed the tube wondering where it lead and I noticed that it lead to some kind of liquid which looked like serum. I looked around the room and noticed that it didn't look that bad. I mean, to my right side there was a window where I could see the hospital's gardens. Between the bed and the window there was a small couch and a coffee table. On top of the table there were some flowers in a vase and some magazines. On my left hand side, there were some other couches. The couches were made out of brown leather and they actually looked quite good. There were some paintings up on the walls. Right on the wall in front of me, there was a tv and to the side there was a dvd player. The room itself was very comfortable and cozy. To the far left side of the room there was a small aisle and on one side of the aisle there was a door which I figured, must have been the bathroom. Right then, the door opened and John and Paul came in. "Jack!" Paul said as he got closer "you're awake! John call the doctor" "Right on" John replied as he ran out of the room "Are you ok Jack?!" Paul was very nervous and I wasn't sure why. "I've had better days" I told him smiling and he smiled too. The doctor then just walked in followed by John and a nurse. I was actually surprised to see that it was a male nurse. It was actually the first time I had seen a male nurse. He was quite tall, and good looking. "How are you feeling?" the doctor asked in a deep bass voice as he grabbed my hand and felt my pulse. "Not that bad" I replied "but my head and my leg are killing me" "That's normal" he said "the nurse will give you something to ease off the pain" "That would be great" "I'll check on you later on" the doctor said as he walked to the door "by for now" The nurse then put something into the serum that was going directly to my left arm. As soon as the liquid that she had introduced into the serum started going into my arm, the pain increased momentarily. A couple of minutes later, the pain started to go away, until my leg and head didn't hurt. The nurse left the room after she gave me the pain killer. John and Paul were standing beside my bed. I was happy that they were with me. They explained that I had been in hospital for two weeks. Because of the car crash, I had been in a coma for those two weeks. They were very worried "What were you thinking Jack?" Pal said in a serious tone "What do you mean?" I asked not knowing what he was saying "Why were you driving so fast" Paul asked again "The truck driver with whom you crashed said you were doing at least 90mph" John explained "what on earth made you drive so fast??!" I was silent thinking about what had happened that night. I tried very hard but I couldn't tell why I had been driving that fast. I usually drive fast, I but I had never driven at 80 mph, especially in the city centre. My mind was blurry and could not concentrate properly, there seemed to be something missing, I could remember the truck's lights coming towards me, but I couldn't remember what happened before that. Right then, a knock on the door snapped me back to reality. Paul walked over to the door and opened it. It was Brian. He was standing there holding a teddy bear and some flowers smiling. He came closer to me and kissed me. As soon as our lips met, flashbacks of what had happened that night started flooding my mind. I remembered perfectly what happened that night. I had gone to make up with Brian and I had discovered him with another guy having sex. "What are you doing here?" I said in a serious tone as I came back to reality "Well" John began "he has hardly left your side" "That's right, he's been next to you the whole two weeks" Paul said smiling "Could you guys leave us alone" I told my brothers and they left us alone. "We'll come to check on you tomorrow morning" Paul said as he closed the door behind them They closed the door behind them and we were silent for a second. None of us really wanted to talk and we did not know where to begin. "It's good that you're feeling better" "Listen Brian" I began "I want to break off" "What?" Brian said "why don't you sleep on it tonight and we'll talk about it in the morning?" "No, I want to end it now" "This is not the way I wanted for this to happen" he said lowly "Shut Brian!" I exploded hearing his lousy explanation "just shut up ok? Don't try to make yourself feel noble, you're no knight in shinning armor" "I know I'm not but I do what I can" "screw you Brian!, you were getting off easy here and you know it" I told him "you are just one guy whose grown tired of screwing the same guy over and over again" "That's not true" he protested "I care a lot about you" "Don't give me that bull shit now" I snapped "if you really cared about me you wouldn't have cheated on me" "I'm sorry but maybe it was for the best" he replied I just froze; I had never ever heard Brian speak in such a cold way. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Did you ever love me?" I asked He was just staring at the ceiling. Thorough the whole conversation he had not dared to look at me directly to my face. "That's how I know it's over" I said looking at him. It was the first time he raised his head to look at me "you didn't say a word in your defense, not one, and I deserve better then that". I was crying by then. At first I had tried to show my feelings, but I couldn't control them for long because it was very painful for me. He was the only person I had really loved and it hurt me so much to see that it wasn't likewise. "You're right" he said "you deserve better than that" "Please get out" I told him as I pointed to the door "I want to be alone. I wish I could figure out why all the men that I had loved don't love me back" "Oh, Jack" he said as he got closer to me. He was about to hug me but I stopped him by giving him a slap. "I don't want your pity Brian Littrell!!" I snapped. We stayed silent for a while and then I told him that he should leave. He didn't say a word again. He just got up from his seat and walked to the door, closing it behind him. As soon as he was gone, I cried even more. I knew I had done what I needed to do, but it was very painful for me. I wasn't sure if I would be able to get over him. Looking back now, I would have probably forgiven him back then, if he hadn't been such a prick. I began wondering if this was my entire fault, had I paid more attention to my work than to Brian? I couldn't figure out exactly what went wrong in our relationship. I had to admit that at first I wasn't that much in love with Brian, but as time went by, my love for him grew stronger. It was hard to believe that his love for me, on the other hand, hadn't. I raised my head and looked out of the window. It was already dark outside and I was very tired. My head started hurting again and a few minutes later the male nurse came to check on me. I wiped the tears away, but he realized that I had cried. He looked at me and smiled as he checked my blood pressure and things like that. He gave me some sedatives so that I could get some sleep. And he left my dinner on one side and told me that I could eat whenever I felt like it. I was not hungry at all; I just laid my head back on my pillow and tried to get some sleep. Unfortunately I couldn't, all I could think about was Brian. I closed my eyes and in my head I could see images of me and Brian. I remembered then, all the good times that we had shared together. I remembered the first time we met, I met him back at the airport and it was actually the most unusual way of meeting someone...I also remembered those long nights that we use to spend back home just staring at the sky making plans for the future. Right then, a tear escaped from the corner of my eye. I couldn't figure out what had gone wrong. I don't know at what time I fell asleep, but I knew that it was very late by then... The following day I woke up by the sound of someone coming in. It was the nurse. He had brought me breakfast I looked at him and he smiled. As usual, he checked my blood pressured and the other things. He started a small conversation. I didn't feel like chatting since I wasn't in a mood for anything, but he kept on talking. His name was Mike and he said that his usual job was not a nurse; he explained he used to work as a stuntman, but he wanted to get into medical school and he needed money. He took on the job as a stuntman and he had liked it. "You're actually the first male nurse I have seen" I said lowly "Am I?" he asked "well, I'm proud" I wasn't sure if he was making a lousy joke or he was being serious. I moved my head to the other side and looked out of the window. It was a cloudy day and it looked like it was going to rain. I heard the door close and I figured that the nurse, Mike, was gone. I knew I had behaved like a dick to him, but I didn't want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to be alone. Again, tears started forming in my eyes... My brothers arrived a few minutes later. "How are you feeling this morning?" Paul asked as he took off his coat and put in on the couch "Fine" I said still looking out the window. "Are you all right?" John asked as he got closer and looked down at my face "why are you crying?" "What happened smiley?" Paul said as he got closer too. John sat down on my bed next to me, "Brian and I broke off" I said lowly and then I started crying again. John immediately hugged me tight and I did the same. "Do you want to talk about it?" Paul asked as he hugged me too "Not now" I replied "maybe later" "Whenever you feel like it" John said We hugged for a few more minutes. I didn't want to let go. I felt so safe in my brother's arms. I cried some more until I was able to calm myself down. John and Paul were very understanding and realized that I didn't want to talk about the subject at that moment. I was glad that they were by my side. Paul noticed that I had not eaten anything and asked me to eat something. I wasn't hungry at all, but he insisted on me eating something. I ate something so that he would be happy. There was a silence in the room as I ate. I guess they were afraid of saying something they shouldn't. "What happened with the job?" I asked "Haven't we told you?!" they said in unison and I just nodded in a negative way "you got it!" "Did I?!" I exclaimed. It was actually the first good news that I had heard. "Yes you did" John explained "Daniel made the presentation on your behalf and the executives absolutely loved your designs" "That's amazing" I replied John continued telling me all about it. He explained that I had gotten a new office somewhere else in the city. He had already gone to see it and told me that I would absolutely love it. He said that it was the biggest office he had ever seen. John described in detail how the office was. It was very big and on one side of it, there was a huge fish tank embedded on the wall. By the way John described the office, it looked like a great office and I just couldn't wait to see it for myself. John told me that Daniel was taking care of the business while I was away, but as soon as I could, I would have to go back to work. I realized that Daniel would learn a lot from the job while I was away and I was happy to hear that he was taking care of it. I was eager to get back to work, but I knew I had to heal first, before I was able to carry on. Right then, there was a knock on the door and the doctor came in. "Hello Jack" he said as he got closer "Hi Dr..." "Crowter, Dr. Crowter" he said "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself yesterday" "No problem" I replied "How are you feeling?" "Well, my head is hurting just a bit and my leg doesn't hurt anymore" I explained "I see" he said "well, you're making slight progresses" The doctor checked my head and felt my leg. He said that he would check on me again that evening. I nodded and then he left the room. My brothers stayed with me the whole day and they put up with my moody face, and I thank them for it. In the evening, John turned the TV on to see what was on. It's sometimes a bit annoying to watch TV with him, because he has the bad habit of flipping channels without letting you see what is on. That really gets on my nerves, because he just flips the channels and he just goes `no, no, no, no, no' until he finds something that he likes. He usually likes watching MTV. I wasn't really into watching TV right then, so I didn't make a protest. I just laid back and started watching some videos. Paul, on the other hand, was having an argument with John because he doesn't like watching TV. Usually, when we are at home, it's such a problem, because John wants to watch MTV, Paul wants to watch the news and those boring programs and I want to watch a movie. This time, was no different, Paul and John were arguing on who was the one who'd decide what to watch. I looked at both of them and smiled. Even though they were older than me, they looked like little children. There was a knock on the door and we all turned to see who it was. Daniel was standing at the door smiling, holding some balloons. "Hello lazy boy" he said as he put the balloon son one side of the room. They were some big balloons that said `get well soon'. "Hi there" I told him as he sat down on the couch next to the bed. "So what's up with you?" he asked "are you feeling better?" "Yes actually" I replied "I'm feeling much better" "Well, I've got great news" he said excited "guess!" "That I got the job?" I asked smiling "How did you know?" he asked disappointed and then I pointed at John "Oh, I see, but he told you that the executives loved the designs?" "Yes" "Has he told you about the office?" "Yes" "Has he described it?" "Yes" "Has he told you about the new raise?" "Yes...no!" I replied "what raise?" "Ha, got you sucker!" he said looking at John "well Jack, you've got a new raise, actually, it's a big one" "Really?" I asked "yep, but you will know all about it when you get back to work" he explained "right now, I'm covering you, but I don't think I will be able to do it for a long time buddy" "Don't worry, I will be there soon" I told him and for the first time I smiled. Daniel stayed for a long time and we talked about many things. He explained more or less what he had been doing for those two weeks that I had been away. He informed me that the office was in a completely different building and he also said that we had a new secretary. Daniel was very excited about the whole new deal. The nurse, Mike, came in to check on me to see if I had eaten and then he took my tray away. Daniel kept staring at him and smiling. "The things I could teach that hottie" Daniel whispered as Mike closed the door behind him. "ewww!!" I said and laughed "I didn't want to know your sexual fantasies" "But it's true" he replied "Ok, let's change the subject" Daniel asked me about Brian and I just told him that we had broken up. I also said that I preferred not to talk about it at that time and he understood completely. My brothers were still there and they were arguing about the TV programs. Daniel left a few minutes later because he said he needed to get back to the office. I thanked him for visiting me and then he left the room. Paul said he had to work too, so he excused himself giving me a kiss on my forehead and then he left the room. Before he left, he said he would visit me that evening and that if needed something, I could call him and he'd be right there immediately. John said he didn't have to do much so he stayed with me. The rest of the day was more or less the same, we chatted about many things and we also watched TV. He was happy that I wasn't arguing about what we were gonna watch and he settled on MTV. Paul went to visit me that night to check on me and then he and John went home. I laid back on my pillow and then I drifted off to sleep... The next day, the guys from N*sync had gone to visit me. I was very happy to see that they had taken time out of their busy schedules to visit me. They had brought me some gifts and some chocolates. Justin was very happy to see me and kept on telling jokes. He was very good at telling jokes and I spent all the while laughing. I thanked him for trying to make me feel better. "I miss you" Justin said smiling "I mean we miss you" "I miss you too guys" I told them. "I'm glad to see that you're recovering" Jc said "Thanks Josh" "We'll see you shortly, won't we?" Lance asked and I nodded in an affirmative way. We talked for a long time about many things. They asked me about Brian and I wasn't sure what to tell them. I thought for a second and then I told them roughly what had happened with him. I didn't want to keep secrets from him since they were my friends. I didn't get into details, but I explained to them that we had broken up. They were silent and didn't ask anything else. Right then, Justin ran out of the room and then he came back a few minutes later with a guitar. "We're gonna sing a song for you Jack" Justin said smiling. I had no idea that he could play the guitar. The guys gathered around Justin who was on one side of my bed. When the visions around you Bring tears to your eyes And all that surround you Are secrets and lies I'll be your strength I'll give you hope Keeping your faith when it's gone The one you should call Was standing here all alone (Chorus) And I will take you in my arms And hold you right where you belong `Til the day my life is through This I promise you This I promise you I've loved you forever In lifetimes before And I promise you never Will you hurt anymore I give you my word I give you my heart This is a battle we've won And with this vow Forever has now begun Just close your eyes Each lovin' day And know this feeling won't go away `Til the day my life is through This I promise you This I promise you Over and over I fall When I hear you call Without you in my life, baby I just wouldn't be living at all (chorus) Just close your eyes Each lovin' day And know this feeling won't go away Every word I say is true This I promise you Every word I say is true This I promise you I promise you By the time they ended the song, I had tears in my eyes. I have no idea why, but I just did. Justin moved closer to me and hugged me "Whenever you need me" Justin said "I'll be there for you" "Thanks Justin" I simply told him and then we broke the hug. They realized that they had to go to a photo shoot. Justin didn't want to go, but he knew he had to, since it was his job. Before he left, he gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek. They completely took me by surprise but I had no time to say anything because he just ran out of my room. I put my hand up to my face and smiled. The guys smiled too and then they said goodbye. As days went by I became more and more desperate to get out of the hospital. I felt like I wasn't doing anything productive. The doctor had told me that I was almost ready to go home, as soon as he told me that, I got very excited and I started making plans about what I was going to do. First of all, I would go back to work so that my mind could be focused on something else. Even though I had not seen Brian at all, I kept on thinking about him and I couldn't get him neither out of my head nor my heart. I never thought it would be that hard to get over him. I knew that I had to and I wanted to, but I just couldn't find the way to do it, at least not yet... ********** well, that's' it for now, I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Remember that all the feedback is welcome and really appreciated. jack_ga_2002@yahoo.com Till the next one Your friend Jack "Enjoy life and always be yourself"