Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 17:49:05 PDT From: keith lowell Subject: Brian and Keith -- 8 Here is the eight part of the story. Again, this story involves Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. Please remember that this is pure fantasy and absolutely nothing is implied about the sexualities of any of the characters in this story. All comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated at keithlowell@hotmail.com Thanks. With that said..........ENJOY.......... Brian and Keith -- 8 Keith hung up the phone and sighed. 'I wonder what he wanted,' he thought. There were several possibilities. Keith shuddered at that notion. He did not even want to think about them at this time. He had learned about Christopher's personality right on time, and he got himself out of a very dangerous situation. "Why do bad things all have to happen at what should be the happiest part of my life?" Keith screamed. Keith was starting to get nervous as he thought about Brian. He did not want this new thorn to stick it's ugly head into something very precious and special. He decided then and there that he would not tell Brian about Christopher and his past with this "thorn". 'I think that would be best for all concerned,' he thought. Keith was surprised as he heard the door open. He looked up and saw Brian enter with takeout and grocery bags. "Hi babe," Brian said as he entered the kitchen and deposited all the bags that he carried on the counter. "Hi Brian, how was rehearsal?" Keith asked snapping out of his daze. "Tiring," Brian answered as he made his way to Keith and kissed him. "Are you feeling better now," he asked as he gathered Keith in a hug. "Yes, I am much better now, thank you," Keith replied as he hugged Brian tighter. "Did you talk to Carol?" Brian asked as he ended the hug and withdrew slightly to look into Keith's eyes. "Yes, she is very impatient to meet you," Keith replied with a smile. "Oh oh, now I am going to be nervous all the time till I meet her," Brian said with a smile and a twinkle of laughter in his eyes. "Now, you have nothing to worry about, you just have to live up to your reputation," Keith said with as much laughter as Brian. "Now I am really worried," Brian said as he got up and went into the kitchen. "Where are all the guys?" Keith asked as he made his way into the kitchen. "Back at the hotel, they were tired and wanted to get some rest," Brian replied as he started to put away the groceries. "Oh! I just thought that since you were bringing dinner over, they would have joined you," Keith said as he grabbed the counter for support. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, I can call them for you if you want," Brian said as he grabbed the phone. "No, I was just kidding, I rather spend a quiet evening with you," Keith said as he grabbed the phone from Brian and returned it to it's home. "That's what I wanted to hear," Brian said with a huge smile. "So, what's with all the groceries?" Keith asked as he looked at the amount of groceries. They were pretty much breakfast foods, but the quantity looked like it was enough for about twenty people. "Oh, these, I invited the guys over for breakfast, and we needed something to feed them," Brian replied with a worried expression on his face. "That's a wonderful idea," Keith said as he smiled widely. Brian looked over and Keith and sighed. 'Boy, that's a relief,' he thought as he continued putting away groceries. He really wanted the guys over for breakfast and was glad that Keith agreed. "Oh! the takeout smells delicious," Keith exclaimed as the aroma from the food reached his nose. "Yes, it does," Brian replied with his typical smile. "Why don't you go and sit at the table, and I'll bring the food over," Brian suggested as he gestured for Keith to get out of the kitchen. "Okay," Keith said happily as he walked out of the kitchen. It had been such a long time for anyone to show that they liked taking care of Keith, that this little gesture sent Keith reeling. Keith sat at the table waiting for the food. His stomach was growling by now. He heard Brian open and shut a couple of cabinet doors and drawers. He did not bother saying anything since Brian had obviously found what he was looking for. Otherwise, he surely would have asked Keith for help. Soon Brian had all the takeout packets open and also a couple of plates and forks. He took all those things to the table where he saw Keith sitting and waiting patiently for his dinner. He set a plate down in front of Keith and put a fork on top of the plate. He layed a napkin next to the plate and then set up a similar place setting for himself across the table. He set the food containers in the middle of the table between the two of them. Once everything was at the table and he made sure that they had something to drink, Brian sat in his chair and smiled at Keith. Brian reached his arms over and took Keith's hands within his own. He said grace and a quick prayer before withdrawing his hands from his lover. "Okay babe, dig in," Brian said as he reached for the food. He took a serving spoon and took out some food and put it in his plate. He took some food from all the containers and soon his plate looked like a mosiac. The food mosiac consisted of chicken, beef, and shrimp dishes and vegetable rolls and ofcourse steamed rice. He glanced over at Keith's plate to notice a similar mosiac, only in different order. Both of them ate their food in silence. They were both more hungry than anything else. They certainly felt better with some food in their stomachs. Brian sighed with contentment and leaned back in his chair. He was about to yawn and stretch his arms over his head when he was stopped by Keith. "Stop Brian, don't yawn and stretch your arms at the table," Keith said quickly to stop his love. "Why?" Brian asked with shock as he quickly put his arms down. "Oh! I just grew up hearing that, I think it has something to do with respect for the food and God," Keith replied with a shrug. "That's strange, never heard of that before," Brian said as he sat up in his chair. "I always heard that from my nanny when I was growing up. She was a local, so I think it is probably something the people in that part of the world believe," Keith said as he got up from his chair. Keith grabbed Brian's plate and put it on top of his own. He grabbed some of the empty food containers and put them on the plates. He grabbed their forks and used napkins and to the kitchen. He was feeling much better now, and was able to move around freely. It's amazing what some food in your tummy will do if you are not feeling well. Keith discarded the trash and set the dishes in the sink. He started washing them when he saw Brian step inside the kitchen. Brian smiled at Keith as he set the empty glasses inside the sink and put the leftovers in the refrigerator. He stood next to Keith watching him wash the plates and glasses. Keith handed Brian a wash cloth and a wet plate. Brian took the wash cloth happily and started drying the dish. Soon the dishes were done and put away. "I liked doing that," Brian said as he sat on the sofa in the living room. "Doing what?" Keith asked curiously. "Cleaning and putting away the dishes," Brian replied as he smiled at Keith. "Why?" Keith asked surprised. Brian just shrugged and didn't reply. He wrapped his arms around Keith and hugged him lightly. It wasn't as though he was ignoring Keith's question, but he did not know the answer to that simple question himself, so he certainly could not explain it to Keith. Keith had forgotten what they were discussing as soon as Brian's arms went around him. He leaned back and enjoyed the feeling of Brian that close to him. He never wanted this feeling to end. He wanted nothing more to spend every evening in Brian's arms. But, then reality stuck again in letting Keith know that Brian will leave tomorrow after the concert. He straightened up while facing Brian. Brian felt Keith tense up, but did not really know the reason why. "Is something wrong?" Brian asked sincerely. "Yes," Keith sighed. Brian looked at Keith expectantly for an explanation. Keith did not say anything, instead he just sighed again and let the tears fall down his cheeks. Brian immediately took hold of Keith's hand after he saw the tears. Neither of them said anything, instead they communicated through their hands. Brian was rubbing Keith's hand soothingly while Keith just had a strong grip on Brian's hand not wanting to ever let go. Brian decided that he would just be supportive and patient for Keith to explain. "I have to tell you something," Keith said. "Okay, go ahead," Brian said as he wiped away some tears from Keith's cheeks with his free hand. "I am in love with you," Keith said as he looked down towards the floor. "Yes, I know, I love you too," Brian said as he raised Keith's face with his hand. "And you are leaving me after tomorrow's concert," Keith managed to say before he broke down and cried on Brian's shoulder. Brian let Keith cry out his frustration. He wanted to speak and let him know that he would not leave without Keith. He wanted to tell Keith that he planned to take him everywhere he went. But, nothing would come out of his mouth. He was so overwhelmed with emotion over how Keith was acting that he could not control himself. Soon tears were running down Brian's face also. He could not stand to see his love sob like that. Finally, he got enough courage to say something. "Babe, babe, listen to me," Brian said as he raised and held Keith's face within his hands. Keith's face was only inches away from Brian's, and Keith had finally stopped sobbing but tears still flowed down his face. "I am not leaving you, I will never leave you," Brian said while looking straight into Keith's eyes. "But you....," Keith tried to speak but was stopped by Brian's finger on his lips. "I mean it, I have already made plans to take you with me," Brian said. Keith's eyes opened wide when he heard those words. He could not believe his ears. He thought that he misheard Brian. Maybe he just heard what he wanted to hear from Brian. He looked at Brian trying to register what Brian had said to him seconds before. "Excuse me!" Keith exclaimed as he sighed heavily. "I am taking you with me, I will never ever go anywhere without you," Brian said calmly and slowly. He did not want to say it very fast because he needed Keith to understand and register what he said. He wanted to see a smile on Keith's face, hopefully soon. Just as Brian thought about the smile, Keith's lips turned upwards and formed a smile. It had finally dawned on Keith what Brian was trying to say. His dream had come true. He had found his knight and fell in love with him, and now he was going to spend the rest of his life with Brian. Nothing could ever compare with this moment. He genuinely felt happy and safe for the first time since he was kicked out of his home. "Now, have you finally calmed down for me to tell you what we are doing," Brian said as he leaned forward and lightly kissed Keith on the lips. It was just a quick kiss. A kiss that left Keith feeling deliriously happy. It was a kiss that promised many more to follow in the future. Keith did pout a little when Brian ended the kiss and pulled back. He wanted nothing more than for the kiss to continue, but he also wanted to listen to what Brian had been planning. "Yes, I want to listen now," Keith sighed as he also leaned back and got comfortable to hear Brian out. "Okay," Brian said as he smiled widely. "We are going on vacation for a week after this concert. The management had agreed to it about two months ago," Brian said. He paused for a second to see if Keith would be upset with him about not telling him this before. Keith just smiled and motioned for Brian to continue. "I was and am still planning to go home for the week. I want you to come with me because that way we both can talk to my parents. I did call them today and tell them to expect you," Brian said all in one go. He was not sure of how Keith would handle this news, he did not want to be disturbed before he said all he wanted to. Keith had tensed up when he heard Brian say the last part. He had not been prepared to hear those words yet. He felt nervous and uncomfortable at the thought of meeting Brian's family at this early stage. "Are you sure that you want to take me with you?" Keith finally asked ending the silence. "Yes, but why wouldn't I?" Brian answered Keith with a question of his own. "Because, we have just met and now you have me meeting your family already," Keith replied unsure of what he was saying himself. He knew how he felt, but he was not sure of how Brian felt. He knew that Brian loved him, but was not really sure about how Brian viewed the future of this relationship. He had a good idea with the things that had been said in the last couple of minutes, but he wanted Brian either to say it out flat, or form his opinion on the matter more concretely. "Yes, I want you to meet my family because I want us to start off on the right foot," Brian replied to Keith's inquiry. "Okay, then I will go with you and meet your family," Keith said happily. He was unsure of what Brian meant by his last comment, but he did know that Brian did see a future to this relationship. That's all he needed for now. "Great!" Brian shouted as he got up and ran around the room making what Keith could not hope were happy sounds. Keith looked at his love and laughed out loud. Brian was acting just like a kid at Christmas time. He was happy that he made Brian this giddy and excited. Brian finally stopped and calmed down. But, he never lost his smile. Sometimes it seemed that Brian just could not stop smiling, not that the smiling was a bad thing. He came and sat down next to Keith and took his hand in between his own. Brian squeezed gently as he rubbed his thumb over the back of Keith's hand. "I'm glad that you are coming with me, I didn't want to spend my vacation without you. Besides, this will give you a chance to rest up, and by the end of the week you will be good as new," Brian said as he looked and smiled at Keith. "Yes I must agree, getting away will do wonders for my condition," Keith answered and smiled back at his love. He sat there staring at how beautiful his love really was. Not just on the outside, but definitely on the inside as well. He felt proud to be in love with such a wonderful person. "Well! I can think of a couple of things to do about your condition," Brian said sexily as he looked deep in Keith's eyes. Keith just smiled and squeezed Brian's hand as he said, "Not now Brian, I am not ready." "I know, I was just trying to cheer you up and maybe see if we can move your recovery date up a couple of days," Brian said as he laughed out loud as his words came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I know that you have needs. I will try to if it will make you feel better," Keith said hesitantly. He did not feel really up to doing anything sexual just yet, but he did not want to disappoint Brian or even worse, he did not want to loose Brian. All the old inhibitions came back to his head as he sat there. Brian could not believe what he just heard. He could not possibly see how Keith would jump to that conclusion so fast about such a sensitive subject. "Listen Keith, I don't want to force you into anything. Yes, I have needs, but so do you. I am not going to leave you just because you are not ready to have sex right away. I am in love with you and nothing will change that. So, we have to wait for to make love, it will just make it much better and special when we do make it happen," Brian said as he looked into Keith's eyes. Keith could see only compassion and truthfulness in the eyes that stared into his own. He felt stupid and wrong to jump to that conclusion, but it had to be addressed. Better it is out of the way now, than to surface at a later time. "I'm sorry, I apologize," Keith said as he looked towards the floor once again. "Okay, now it's all better," Brian said as he once again sported that gorgeous smile. Keith looked at Brian and also smiled. He felt more comfortable now, but that comfort would be short-lived. Just then the phone rang. Brian got up and picked up the receiver in the kitchen. "Hello," Brian said. "Hello, who's this?" a man asked gruffly. "Excuse me," Brian replied. He was trying to figure out who would talk to a person in that manner. He was quite shocked to say the least, but did manage to keep his composure. "I need to speak to Keith," the man said. "Please hold," Brian said as he covered the mouthpiece on the phone and walked into the living room. "Babe, it's a man who wants to talk to you," Brian whispered as he handed the cordless to Keith. "I wonder who it could be?" Keith thought out loud as he took the phone from Brian and brought it to his ear. "Hello," he said. "Keith, I need to talk," the man said back. "Chris, I do not want to talk to you anymore. I am tired and recovering, and I don't need this aggravation right now," Keith said as he sighed out loud. Brian was trying not to listen to Keith's conversation. He had picked up a book that sat on top of the coffee table and began browsing through it. 'I never heard that name before,' he thought as he heard Keith say the name, Chris. "Keith listen, I want to get over this, I want us to be friends again. I have missed you since we went our separate ways, and I want things to be the way they were before, please," Chris said. "I'm sorry, but what you did really hurt and scared me. I don't think I will be getting over it anytime soon. I did enjoy being your friend, but you destroyed that. I don't think I can forgive you, at least not at this time. Maybe I will be able to do so in the future," Keith said a little sadly as he looked up to see Brian staring at him. Brian quickly averted his eyes down as Keith looked up towards his direction. Now his curiosity was at it's peak. He was a little worried about what he overheard. 'He said that he was hurt and scared by this guy. It must have been very bad for Keith to keep a grudge. I just hope that Keith tells me everything about this, so I don't have to keep guessing. I will come up with the most outrageous conclusions on my own,' he thought as he looked at the book as he rubbed the binding with his finger. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Is there anything that I can say or do to make you change your mind?" Chris asked sincerely. "Well, I can't change the way I feel right now. I don't think I will ever be able to trust you again. You can stop calling me. I promise you that I will call you once I have recovered from our little adventure. If you never hear from me, then assume that I have not forgiven you. Please stop calling because every phone call brings back all the hurt that I went through," Keith said calmly. "Okay, I guess I have no choice. I do hope that I hear from you sometime in the future," Chris said. "I do hope so too, Chris," Keith sighed. "Bye Keith, take care of yourself," Chris said sadly. "Bye Chris," Keith said as he ended the call. Keith put the cordless on the coffee table and sighed as he leaned back. 'I hope that I never hear from that guy ever again,' he thought as he felt Brian sit next to him. Brian was a little confused by the conversation that he just heard. 'What could have this Chris character ever done to Keith to make Keith that mad at him?' he thought as he got up and walked over to the sofa that Keith was sitting in. He sat down next to Keith waiting for an explanation. But, he was unsure if he will get what he wants. "I don't know where to start?" Keith said as he sat up and looked at Brian. "From the beginning," Brian offered. "I did not come out to my family right away after I figured out that I was gay. I planned on never telling them. I guess that I always knew that they would react the way that they did. One night I met Chris at a party that some friends of my dad were giving in his honor for being back in the country. I never knew how to act at those things, so I just pretty much kept to myself. Chris noticed this and came and sat besides me. Pretty soon, we were like old friends. Me and him just clicked instantly. It was like that we had known each other all of our lives. Anyway, we started spending more and more time with each other. My parents also liked him, so he spent the nights very often." Keith paused after saying the last statement. Brian looked at Keith to see that there were tears running down his face. He reached over and wiped the tears away. "You don't have to continue, I can wait," Brian said in a soothing tone. "Thank you, but I would like to continue. I just never had to say these things out loud before. But, I want to get these feelings out," Keith said as he leaned back again. "Anyway, on one of these overnight visits, Chris asked me if I was gay. I was shocked to say the least. I was speechless, and all of a sudden I just started balling. He comforted me, but I think he really want to have sex with me. When I finally calmed down, I noticed that I was practically sitting on his lap with his hand running up and down my thigh. I jumped off immediately, because I was really unsure of what was going to happen. Anyway, he got me to relax and then we just went to sleep. He even put pillows in between us at my request to make me more comfortable. I started trusting him right at that moment." Keith stopped and stared in space. It was like that he was in his own little world. Actually, he was thinking about the good times that he shared with Chris. Brian looked at Keith when he stopped. He was relieved not to see any tears on Keith's face, but was concerned when he noticed the far away look. He did not want to pressure Keith, but he was dying to find out what happened next in the saga of Keith and Chris. He reached over and put his hand on top of Keith's hand and squeezed gently. Keith snapped out of his daze when he felt Brian's hand. "Sorry," he managed to say. "That's okay, please go on," Brian said. Keith nodded and continued with his story. "When I trusted him, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I told him everything, all that I was feeling and all that I fantasized about. When he had enough stuff, he tried to use it against me. He proposed that in order for him not to tell my family, I would have to have sex with him. I got really disgusted when he suggested such a thing. I mean I was not attracted to him. I thought of him as a brother, I mean I could talk to him about stuff that I could not talk to my brother about. I told him to leave. I don't think I really cared if he went to my family or not. He was surprised by my reaction. I guess he thought that I would jump at any suggestion he made as long as he didn't tell my family. Anyway, he left telling me that he would give me until my birthday to come to my senses. As my birthday neared, I got really nervous because I did not want to ruin my special day with my family. Much to my horror, Chris came to the private celebration that I usually just spent with my family. He started acting stupid and dropping hints to my family. I got agitated and blurted out that I was gay to my family. I think he was more shocked than I, but he just pushed me to the edge. Well soon, my father asked Chris to leave and then the fireworks started. And then I got kicked out and here I am." Keith sighed as he finished his story. He hated telling that story because it brought back too many sad memories. Brian looked at Keith in shock. 'Boy, this guy certainly been through a lot,' he thought as he continued staring at Keith.' Keith looked up at Brian for his reaction. He was surprised to see the shocked expression. He expected something else, actually anything else. He did not think that Brian would have such a strong reaction. But, he knew that the questions had not ended with the story. "Before you ask, Chris got in touch with me after I got settled here. He wanted to get together and see where fate leads us. I screamed at him the first time he called. I told him in no uncertain terms, that I never wanted to hear from him ever again. I told him that friends don't use friends like that. But then I figured out that he never actually wanted to be my friend. He just wanted to sleep with me from the very beginning. When I realized that, I got even madder. Since then, he has been calling me every week or so to start over. He still thinks that I will forgive him and be "friends" with him. I scream at him every time he calls, but the message never sinks in his mind." Keith sighed as he explained his feelings to Brian. Keith was not upset that he had to explain all this to Brian because he trusted Brian completely. He was upset at the fact that all this was happening in the early stages of their relationship. He wanted to tell Brian all these things at a later stage, but he was forced to go through all this pain so early. He was starting to worry that Brian would decide that he was not ready to be involved with someone that had such a "colorful" past. But, atleast there were no more hidden skeletons in Keith's closet. All of them had been forced in plain view to see. Now Brian knew the bad Keith along with the good Keith. Brian looked at Keith and immediately hugged him. He had a feeling about what Keith was thinking, and he wanted to throw that thought out of Keith's mind. He was never going to leave Keith, and he wanted Keith to have no doubt about that fact. Keith reluctantly let go of Brian and looked in his eyes. "Are you really okay with this?" he asked seriously. "Yes, I am okay with it babe. There is no reason not to be," Brian replied using the same tone as Keith. "I love you," Keith gasped out loud as he hugged Brian very tightly. "I love you too babe," Brian managed to say before he felt the tight grip that Keith had on his body. Keith finally let go of Brian and kissed his lips. Brian accepted the kiss and opened his mouth in response. He felt Keith's tongue penetrate his mouth and touch his own tongue. This surprised Brian a little because in all the sexual contact that they had, Brian had always taken the lead. But, he was certainly not complaining. He kissed Keith back with a passion. They kissed for what seemed like forever, but infact it had only been about five minutes. Brian finally came up for air, leaving Keith's lips pouting at the lack of contact with Brian's lips. Just as Brian was going back to his delicious dessert, the phone rang. "Damn, who could it be now," Brian said in a frustrated tone. Keith snapped out of his daze as he heard the phone rang. He was not happy that he had to end his kissing session with Brian, but he did know that it was for the best. He knew that he was in no physical condition to continue. His heart and other places on his body told him to go ahead, but his mind told him to stop. In the end, his mind won over. He snapped out of his trance just in time to hear Brian talking to Kevin on the phone. "Hello," Brian said as he answered the phone. "Hi Brian, everything okay?" Kevin asked tentatively. "Yes Kevin, everything is peachy," Brian cheerfully replied. "Okay, listen, I was thinking that breakfast tomorrow over there is a bad idea. I mean Keith should not cooking for so many people in his condition," Kevin said in a serious tone. "Now, why do you automatically assume that Keith is the one who will be cooking," Brian snickered as he winked at Keith. "Because I know that you can't cook. Remember, I tried your experiment, or should I say disaster," Kevin said while snickering. "Hey, it wasn't that bad. Atleast, I tried, I didn't see any of you guys jumping up at the chance to try to cook," Brian defended his actions and his cooking. "Okay, okay, I will give you that, but seriously what are we going to do about tomorrow?" Kevin asked again in a serious tone. "It's okay Kevin, I will help Keith make breakfast," Brian replied in a similar tone that Kevin had used. "Okay, I know when I am beat, just make sure to call if it is too much, that way we can pick up something on our way," Kevin said giving up. "Will do, dad," Brian said jokingly. "Bye, wiseguy," Kevin said. "Bye," Brian said as he disconnected the phone call. Keith was looking at Brian cautiously. He was not sure what the conversation was really about, all he could gather was that it had something to do with breakfast tomorrow. He awaited an explanation cautiously. Brian explained the conversation to Keith. Keith found it very touching that Kevin would care about him from exerting himself. He did not have that for a while, and he really missed that. Now, he has a family to love and a family that would love him back, regardless of his sexual orientation. "Babe, I think that we should get to bed now since we have to get up and make breakfast," Brian said as he got up from the couch and made his way into the kitchen to put the phone back. "Yeah, I think you are right," Keith said happily. Brian walked back after locking the apartment door and turning off the extra lights in the kitchen. He grabbed Keith's hand as they made their way into the bedroom. They went into the bedroom hand in hand and sat on the bed. "I will go use the bathroom first, and then you can go," Brian said as he let go of Keith's hand and stood up. Keith nodded his agreement as he watched Brian walk out of the room. 'I don't think I deserve him,' he thought as he sighed. 'But then no one else does either, so I might as well take him,' he thought as his smile returned to his lips. TBC.......