Date: Mon, 30 Aug 1999 14:02:02 EDT From: D LS Subject: Brian & Me Parts 40-44 Okay, first things first. This story is a complete work of fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about anyone. While some of the characters may be loosely based on real people that I know, none are meant to actually represent anyone, particularly any of the members of the Backstreet Boys. We may wish that they were gay, and maybe some of them even are, but I'm certainly not about to say that they are. :) As usual, if you are offended or made uncomfortable by material concerning sexual relations between consenting adult men, lighten up or go somewhere else. Also, if it is in any way illegal for you to be reading this type of thing, please don't. Or do, just don't get caught and feel *very* guilty. ;) If any of the BSB happen to be reading this (hey, we can dream can't we?), feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you think. ***Thanks to Tyler, Jeff, Lauren, Lukas, Matty, Brian, Yuli, Jake, Matt (author of Search & Rescue), and everyone else who has taken the time to write, for their extra-nice comments. It makes it much easier to sit down and write with people like you to encourage me. ***Special thanks also to JB and EG (author of Adam, Zach and BSB), both of whom read over what you are about to read, either in whole or in part, and offered their opinions. There is no doubt that the story is better than it would have been without them. Drop me a line at DLS_stories@hotmail.com and let me know what you think Enjoy! PART 40 Looking up, my breath caught in my throat, making me cough again. Nothing came out of my mouth when I tried to reply. Clearing my throat, and removing the cigarette, I started again. "Mr. Littrell. How are you sir?" "Nate, I thought I told you to call me Harold," he said, looking down at me. "Under the circumstances, I think it's best that I stick with Mr. Littrell," I said with a frown. The expression on his face softened as he spoke. "I see," he said sadly. "I was afraid of this. May I sit and talk with you for a few minutes, Nate?" I nodded and indicated the chair opposite me. Folding the screen of the computer down most of the way, I set it aside so that there was nothing between us. "Those things'll kill you, you know," he said, pointing to the cigarette sticking out of my hand. I blushed a little and put it out. "You working on the new book?" he asked as he sat, indicating the computer and my folder of notes. "Yeah. It's coming along pretty well." "Good, good." Mr. Littrell said, smiling a little. "Glad to hear it." "Look, sir, we both know that you didn't come here to talk about my new book, or the state of my lungs. Let's get to the point. I'm not going to leave Brian, and if you're here to argue with him about this, you can stop right here. You won't see him," I said. "I don't mean to be rude, but he really doesn't need that right now." "You're right, I'm not here to discuss your book. I came to talk to you and Brian." He put his hand up to stop me as I was about to interrupt him. "Just to talk." "Well, I don't know if he's up to talking with you," I said honestly. "But I can't decide that. If you like, I'll go and tell him that you're here, and see what he decides." I started to get up from the table, but he reached over and put his hand on my shoulder, pushing me back into my seat. "Can we talk for a few minutes, Nate? Before I go to see Brian? I don't want to argue." I sat back down in my seat and gave him a shrewd look. "I guess so. What did you want to talk about, specifically?" "Well, it occurs to me that you know my son much better then either his mother or I do. At least in some areas of his life." I nodded for him to continue. "I was hoping that you could help me understand all of this." "I'm not sure if I understand what I can do for you," I said, looking him in the eye. "Tell me about how you and Brian met. All of it," he replied. The apparent change of direction confused me, but he seemed to really want to know. With a sigh, I told him about our first meeting after their concert in LA, and about going for coffee with Brian and Nick afterward. "So when you told them that you were gay, Brian made Nick leave?" "Yeah," I answered. "As soon as he found out, all expression fell from his face and he insisted that they go back to the hotel." Mr. Littrell seemed distressed at this. "When it happened, I thought that it was just that Brian was so closed-minded that he didn't want to be around someone who was gay." "But that wasn't it, was it?" "No. When we met again a little over a month ago, he tried to apologise and tell me what had happened, but I wouldn't listen. I argued with him and left him crying at the studio." Mr. Littrell looked up at me. "You just left him there?" I nodded. "Look, I'm not proud of it. But after the way I thought he had treated me at the diner, I wasn't in any mood to talk with him. It wasn't until Nick came to see me later that I finally found out what Brian had been trying to tell me." "That he was gay," he said, looking down at the table. "Well, that and more. Apparently Brian had known for some time that he was gay, and meeting me brought up a lot of things for him. That's why he left so suddenly that night. After Nick explained that to me, I spoke with Brian." "And you started dating? Just like that?" "No sir. We started hanging out. That's all either one of us intended. Just to be friends. After we spent some time with each other, we discovered that it was more." Mr. Littrell nodded sadly. "So how long had Brian known?" "I don't exactly know. We don't really talk about that. It's enough for us to know that we're both happy now. Together. If you're looking for an answer to that, you'll have to ask him." "We never even suspected," he said, shaking his head. "How could we not have known?" "Sir, with all due respect, it's not like a tattoo. Lots of people go through their entire lives without realising it themselves, let alone other people guessing." "Nate, do you think Brian will talk with me?" "Honestly? I don't know. He's really hurting. I don't know how much your wife told you about what happened, but it wasn't good. About the only thing that I can think of that you have going for you is that she isn't here with you," I answered. He nodded. "Jackie's having a really hard time dealing with all of this. Hell, so am I. We never expected this." "I understand that it may not have been on your list of wishes for your son, but it's a fact, and you're both going to have to start dealing with it." "I know we will, Nate. But it's not an easy thing to deal with." "Mr. Littrell, let me ask you something. If you and your wife are having this much trouble dealing with Brian being gay, how do you think he's been feeling all this time? He knew you wouldn't react well." He sighed and looked up. I could see that he was near tears. "I'm sorry for the way Jackie acted," he said, wiping at his eyes. "I know that she said some very nasty things about you and Brian both." Nodding, I put my hand briefly to my cheek, where she had slapped me in the hall as we were leaving. Seeing this, Mr. Littrell's face grew more grave. "She told me about that too," he said sadly. "I'm sorry Nate. She had no right to hit you, or speak to you that way. I want you to know that we don't both feel that way." I looked him in the eye, searching for a lie. With a nod, I answered him. "Thank you, sir." "Can you please start calling me Harold?" he asked softly. I thought for a moment, then nodded my agreement. "God. When you showed up with him, we certainly never expected you to be his boyfriend," he said, letting out a soft, nervous laugh as he did so. "Well sir, that's one thing we have in common. I never expected to be his boyfriend either," I said, smiling for the first time. "Surprised to fall for a Backstreet Boy?" he said, returning the smile, if a slightly lesser version. "Mr. Littrell, I need you to understand something. I didn't fall for a Backstreet Boy. I fell in love with Brian. It just so happens that he is a Backstreet Boy. I don't want you thinking that I'm just with him because of the group." "Thank you Nate. Thank you for being there for him when we weren't. I can't promise that his mother will come to her senses, but I can see that you really do care about him. I'll do my best to help Jackie see that." "So you're okay with Brian and I being together?" "It's going to take some getting used to," he said. "And I can't speak for Jackie, but welcome to the family," he said, extending his hand. "Do you want to go and see Brian now?" I asked, shaking his hand with a smile. "If you think he'll see me, I would love to see my son," he said, looking at me hopefully. I started to pack up my computer and notes. The writing would have to wait for another day. "I'll see what I can do," I said. PART 41 "Brian?" I called as I opened the door. "Nate!" he said excitedly, running over from the TV where he and Nick were sitting. "I thought you were going to be a couple of hours with your writing. Did you hit a block or something?" The gave me a kiss on the cheek and took my computer bag from me, setting it down on the desk. "No, no block," I smiled. "Something more important came up." "What?" he said, taking my hand. "Ahem," Harold said from the doorway. Brian's hand clenched in my own as he caught sight of his father. "Brian, it's alright," I said comfortingly, wrenching my hand out of his and putting my arms around him. Nick came over to see what was happening, and I heard him gasp when he saw Harold. I turned Brian around so that his back was to his father and placed my hands to the side of his head. I pushed it out from my shoulder so that I could look him in the eyes. There were tears starting there already. The fearful expression he had on his face terrified me, and for a moment I felt a sliver of doubt slip into my heart. Gathering my resolve, I banished the feeling and made Brian look at me. "Brian," I said again. "It's okay. He just wants to talk. He's not going to yell. Please, talk with him. He just wants to understand." I pulled him back into a hug, and he immediately clung to me. "I can't," he whispered. "Please Nate. I can't." "Brian. You have to talk sometime. It may as well be now. Please? For me?" Pulling away from me, he looked at my face. "For you?" I nodded and smiled for him. "Please?" "Will you stay with me?" he asked, his lip trembling. "Of course," I comforted, rubbing his back. "Of course I will." Brian nodded his head against me. "Okay. If you'll be here, okay." I looked over at Nick. "I'll be in our room," he said quietly, heading for the door. Harold moved inside another step to let him by. "Nice to see you again, Nick," he said with smile, extending his hand. "That remains to be seen, sir," Nick said, ignoring his hand and shutting the door behind him. Harold looked sadly to me and I waved him further into the room. "Brian," he started, then stopped as he saw him tighten his hold on me. "Brian," he repeated, coming another few feet closer. "I'm not here to fight about anything. I just want to talk to you. Please?" There was a moment of quiet as Brian gathered himself. Slowly, he released me and pulled away, keeping one hand in mine. "No yelling?" he asked. "No yelling. I promise, son," Harold said. There was a single tear working its way down his cheek. "Okay," Brian agreed, still not looking at his father. "But Nate's staying." "That's fine, Brian," Harold agreed. "Let's sit down," I suggested, pulling Brian by the hand and leading him to the couch. Harold followed behind and sat in a chair opposite us. Brian was still looking down, avoiding his father. "Brian, please look at me?" Harold pleaded. Brian continued to study the carpet. "Brian. We have to talk about this." "Mom didn't want to talk about it," Brian said quietly. If it hadn't been so quiet in the room, I would have had trouble hearing him. "No, she didn't," Harold conceded. "But I'm not your mother." He gave me a look, asking for my help. I just shrugged and waited for Brian to answer. "What do you want? Do you want Nate and I to break up? Do you want me to tell you it's not true? I can't do that. I don't know what more you want from me," Brian cried, putting his head in his hands. "Brian..." "I tried!" he shouted, looking up suddenly at his father. "I tried for years. I knew you and mom would hate me! Don't you think I would have changed it if I could?" The sudden outburst had shocked me as much as his father. Harold jumped in his seat, then slumped back into the chair. The tears that had been threatening since he had joined me in the cafe started to fall freely now. "Brian, we don't hate you," he said softly. "We could never hate you." "Mom does!" he said vehemently. "No, she doesn't. She's not thinking clearly right now, but I can tell you that she doesn't hate you." "She does," he sobbed. "Let's not talk about her, okay? She's not here. It's just you, Nate, and me. I want you to help me understand this, Brian. I want to understand." "You can't," Brian wailed. "Don't you see that? You can't understand it." "Brian," I said, laying my hand on his shoulder. "He wants to try. Please, give him a chance. He wouldn't be here if he wasn't serious about this." Brian just shook his head. "I'm sorry Brian," Harold said, finally breaking down. "I'm sorry for the way your mother reacted. I'm sorry that you had to feel like you couldn't tell us. I'm sorry about a lot of things. Please, don't shut me out." "What do you want to know?" Brian asked, the tears falling from the tip of his nose as he hung his head in his hands again. "What is there to talk about?" "Everything," Harold said. "Everything that you've been hiding from me for all this time. I want - no, I need - you to tell me what you went through." "What difference will it make? You'll still think it's wrong." "Brian, please talk to me. I've talked with Nate, and I know that he loves you. I can see from the way you look at him that you love him too. That's not wrong. It can't be. It's not the way I expected it to happen, but it's not wrong." Harold leaned over slowly and let his hand settle on Brian's slumped shoulder. Brian jumped a little, but made no move to shake his father's hand away. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Brian. If that's with Nate, then so be it." "Really?" Brian said, looking up at Harold and wiping the tears away from his eyes. "Really," Harold nodded. Brian practically leapt from the couch and into his father's arms. Harold hugged him tightly and stood up, enveloping his son. "Will you tell me Brian?" he asked softly. Brian nodded against Harold's shoulder. Looking at them, I couldn't help but smile. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my heart, and I fell back into the couch with a sigh. "Why did you come here?" Brian asked suddenly, pulling away from his father. "If you've only been talking to mom, you should have been angry, like she was. What made you come here?" Harold reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "This. I didn't just talk to your mother about it. I talked to Kevin and AJ last night, and they left this at the house. After I read it, I had to know for sure," he said, handing it to Brian. Brian opened the paper and read what was written there, then turned to me. "You wrote this?" he asked quietly, holding the paper out to me. I could see my handwriting on it. I stood up and took Brian in my arms. "I couldn't just let things stay the way they were," I said, feeling the tears fall. "Every time I looked at you, my heart broke. I had to do something, and that was all I could think of." "Thank you," Brian said, hugging me tightly. "Brian, I should be thanking you," I said, returning the hug. "What are you talking about?" "The only reason you told your mom was because she was being unfair to me. Do you know how that makes me feel? You were willing to take all of this on your shoulders just to defend me," I said, kissing his temple. "So thank you." Brian turned his head to mine and kissed me. Our hands came to our sides and joined, so that the only thing holding us together was the kiss. "Ahem," Harold coughed quietly. Breaking the kiss, I saw Brian blush slightly and I smiled. "Sorry Harold," I said with a smile. Harold looked from Brian to me and then back to Brian. "I guess that's something we're going to have to get used to, huh?" he said with a laugh. "Look, I'm going to leave you two alone for a while to talk," I said, removing my hands from Brian's. "No Nate, don't go," Brian said. "Please stay?" "Nate, don't go on my account," Harold said, walking over to us. "No, you guys need to talk about some things that I don't need to be here for. This is father/son stuff," I argued. Catching the look on Brian's face, I almost lost my resolve to leave them. "Okay," I said with a sigh, noting a hint of a smile on Brian's face. The little bugger knew I was going to cave. "Okay," I said again. "Tell you what. I'll take my computer and get a little work done out on the balcony. If you need me," I said to Brian, "come and get me." Brian looked to his father, then smiled back at me. "Alright," he nodded his agreement. I smiled and kissed him briefly again, then grabbed my computer bag from the table that Brian had set it on and headed for the balcony. Shutting the door behind me, I sat down in one of the lounge chairs and took out my laptop. While they are called laptops, the top of your lap is certainly not the most convenient place to use them. Unfortunately, lacking a table outside, it was the only option that I was left with. I sat down with a sigh and turned on the computer. While I waited for it to warm up, I turned and glanced briefly through a crack in the curtains to find Brian and Harold sitting together on the couch, talking. While Brian still looked a little nervous, he seemed much better than he had since we had left his house the day before. The computer beeped and I typed in the password, then clicked on the program that I wanted. A few minutes later, I was busy writing a brief sketch of the idea that I had had at the movies earlier, and planning where it was going to be incorporated into the book. Lost in thought, I didn't hear the balcony door slide open an hour or so later. "Nate?" Brian said quietly, not wanting to interrupt me. "Hmmmm?" I said dazedly, looking up as my fingers continued to type. Brian laughed. "Um, you can come inside now, if you want. Dad wants to say goodbye." "Oh, okay," I said, looking back to the screen briefly. "One minute?" "Sure," he said with a smile, coming to sit at the foot of the lounge chair. I quickly finished the thought that I had been working on and saved the file, happy with what I had accomplished. I hoped that Carrie would be as happy with the idea. Shutting down the computer, I slid it back into its case and looked up at Brian. The first thing that I noticed was that the grin was back. Whatever Harold had said or done, he had brought back the old Brian, or at least a reasonable facsimile. Smiling back, I reached out and cupped the side of his face in my hand. The light of the moon was streaming in through the railing of the balcony, throwing bars of shadow across both of our forms. I ran my thumb along one such bar, running up his cheek and across his right eye. It gave him the most incredible look. One eye was in shadow, and the other was in the full light of the moon, making it shine. "You're absolutely beautiful," I said, watching my reflection in his left eye. "And you're absolutely wonderful," he responded, pulling my face toward his. I continued to watch my reflection in his eye until our lips met, then I closed my eyes and concentrated on being with Brian. I felt his hand come up and stroke my chin as we finished the kiss, and opened my eyes again to find him smiling at me. "That was nice," he said. "That was beyond nice," I laughed. "No, beyond nice would be if you could tell me why my mouth tastes like an ashtray now." I laughed. "Just one of the little things that you need to find out about me, I guess." Brian frowned in confusion and moved toward me again, but I held him back. "Um, Brian? What about your dad?" "You kiss him," he grinned, before stealing another quick peck on the lips. "But yeah, let's go say goodnight." Grabbing my hand, he led me back through the sliding door. "Nate," Harold said, crossing the room to meet us. "I have to thank you. What you did here tonight showed more than anything else that you really do love Brian." "Yes sir, I do," I said, shaking his hand. "You two worked everything out?" Harold nodded and smiled at Brian, who smiled back. "Things are fine now, Nate. As long as you and Brian are happy, so am I." "What about Jackie?" I asked, knowing it was going to be a downer. The smile stayed on Harold's face, but it did slip a little. "I don't know Nate. I'll try my best to make her see reason, and understand that you're in love, but I can't promise that it will work." I nodded and felt Brian wrap his arms around me from behind. Harold smiled. "But I think more than anything else, she needs time. Once she realises that this isn't just a phase, or that Brian isn't going to come back and tell her what she wants to hear, I'm hoping that she'll come around." "Me too," Brian muttered against my neck. "But Brian tells me that you'll all be leaving in the morning, so I wanted to say goodbye now," Harold said, changing the subject. He reached out and shook my hand again. "It was really nice to have met you Nate," he said with a warm smile. "Same here Harold." I returned the smile and the handshake and felt Brian kiss the back of my neck. "Brian," Harold said as Brian released me and stepped out toward his father. "Call, alright? Call me at the office if you want. You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to." Brian nodded and gave his father a hug. "Thanks dad. For coming, and for wanting to understand." "No problem, Brian," Harold whispered. "I'll talk to your brother before your mother does, and try to make sure he knows what is going on." Brian nodded and released Harold. "Tell him to come and see a concert soon, if he still wants to." "I will," Harold said, heading for the door. "I'll be talking to you both soon." I smiled and waved as I sat down on the couch and Brian followed his father. They shared another, more private, goodbye at the door, then Harold was gone. PART 42 Brian smiled lovingly at me as he turned from the door and started to walk back to the couch. He sat down on my lap facing me, with his knees on the couch on either side of me. Leaning in, he kissed me. "I could get used to that," I said happily as I left a trail of brief kisses across his cheek and down his neck. "You better," he grinned, grabbing my head and pressing his lips to mine. Once he had my attention, his hands released the sides of my head and started to run through my hair and stroke my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and joined my hands, resting them in the small of his back as his tongue met mine. "Brian, are you..." Kevin burst through the door. Seeing us, the words died in his throat. "Oh, sorry," he stammered. "No, it's alright," Brian laughed as he looked over at Kevin from his perch on my lap. "He needs to brush his teeth anyway," he said as he fell to the side, landing on his back on the couch and throwing his legs across me. "So you're okay?" Kevin asked, noting the change in Brian's demeanour. "Better than I was," he answered with a smile. "Nick said that your dad was here," Kevin said, looking around the room. Looking past Kevin, I could make out several more forms in the hall. "He was," I said with a smile. "He just left a few minutes ago." "And?" I looked to Brian and saw his grin expand. It could now officially be classed as blinding. Looking back to Kevin's face, I could see that it was answer enough. A slow smile appeared on Kevin's lips as he came further into the room, followed by Nick, AJ, Howie, and Carrie. Seeing Brian's expression, they were all soon smiling as well. "So tell us already," Nick urged, sitting down. I told them about my surprise talk with Harold downstairs in the cafe, and about how he had wanted to straighten things out with Brian. Then Brian took over an related his conversation with his father for them. I listened more closely when he came to the part that I had missed. "He wanted to know how long I had known, and he apologised for not being the kind of father who I felt I could come to with it," he said with a grin. The change in his manner was astounding. Even his speech seemed imbued with a vitality that had been missing earlier in the evening. "We talked about what it was like, and how I was handling it," he continued. "And then we talked about what a wonderful boyfriend I have," he smiled at me. "You talked about me?" I asked, surprised. "What did you talk about?" "He told me that you had discussed how we met while you were downstairs, and that he could see how much you cared about me. I told him how incredible you were, and how much I loved you," he shrugged. "So he's okay with your relationship?" Nick asked hesitantly. "He says he is," Brian nodded. "It's going to take him some time to adjust to it, but he's really trying." "What about your mom?" AJ asked quietly. "Nothing yet," Brian sighed. "But dad seems optimistic. He thinks she'll accept it when she has time to absorb it and realise that I'm not kidding." "What's this?" Howie asked, picking up the letter that I had written to Brian's parents. "Nothing," I made an attempt to grab the letter, but Brian's legs kept me from getting up. "It's a letter that Nate wrote to mom and dad, trying to get them to see reason," Brian said proudly, smiling over at me. "Apparently Kevin and AJ played messenger last night without mentioning it." Kevin and AJ looked at each other. "We tried to talk to them for you, but your mom didn't really want to listen to what we had to say," AJ said. "All we could do was give her that and make her promise to read it." "Well, they both read it," Brian said. "That's what finally convinced my dad to come and talk about it." Howie finished the letter and passed it back to me, but Nick intercepted it. Reading it, he passed it on. Soon, everyone in the room had read it, and I was blushing. "Nate, that's beautiful," Carrie said, passing the letter back to me. I folded it and pushed it into a pocket without answering. Noting my embarrassment, Kevin changed the subject. "So, you're okay?" he asked Brian. "Well, I would be better if I could say goodbye to my mother without it becoming a yelling match," he said. "But yeah, I'm okay now. I've got a good feeling about things." "Me too," I said, laying my hands on Brian's shins. "Of course, I have *no* feeling below the knees anymore," I laughed. Brian grinned and removed his legs, swinging them around and sitting up beside me. "Baby." "But I'm your baby," I smirked, drawing another kiss from him. Brian grimaced a little and dug in his pockets. Finding a piece of gum, he popped it into his mouth and chewed for a few second, while everyone watched. Leaning over, he kissed me again, pushing the gum into my mouth with his tongue as he did so. "That's better," he grinned as he leaned back. "Give 'em to me." he said, holding his hand out. "Give what to you?" Nick asked, looking from me to Brian. "Someone's been smoking," Brian scolded, still holding out his hand. With an exaggerated sigh, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pack of cigarettes I had purchased earlier. Brian took them and put them in his shirt pocket. "Now, enough about me. How was the date?" he asked, turning his grin on Kevin and Carrie. They looked at each other with such a comical expression that the rest of us couldn't help but laugh. "It was great," Carrie finally said, smiling at Kevin. "I had a wonderful time." "Me too," he agreed, smiling back. "So where did he take you?" AJ asked. "To a very nice little French restaurant," Carrie said. "Very romantic." "Oooooh!" Nick said with a laugh. "Do I detect the hum of Cupid's bowstring?" Kevin laughed and punched Nick in the shoulder. "You're coming very close to besmirching the lady's honour," he grinned. "My hero," Carrie laughed, clasping her hands together at her breast. "So?" I asked. "I don't want to be nosy, but..." "But you're going to be anyway?" Carrie finished for me. "Yeah," I said with a smile. "Are you two going to start dating?" "Well," Kevin said reluctantly. "We haven't really discussed it yet..." "But I'd like to give it a try," Carrie said. Kevin looked to her and grinned. "Me too," he agreed. "Awwww," AJ and Howie said together, drawing laughs from all of us. "Cut it out," Kevin said with a smile. "It's not like we're engaged. We don't even know how much we can see of each other. We're on the road, and Carrie does have a job in New York that she has to get back to." Carrie nodded. "Yeah. We'll see what happens. I have to fly out in the morning. I don't know when it will be before I can get away again." "Well I still say awwwww," AJ laughed. Brian smiled at me and put his arm around my shoulder. I grinned back and then blew a bubble with the gum he had given me. He laughed and popped it with his finger. "Promise me one thing, though?" Kevin asked Carrie with a grin. "What's that?" "No matter what, we'll never be as sickeningly sweet as those two," he said with a laugh, pointing to Brian and I. "Jealousy is such an ugly emotion," I said to Brian with a smile. "Very ugly," he giggled back. We were heading for another kiss when the pillow struck us both in the side of the head. Laughing, we looked around the room to find everyone pointing at Nick. "Wasn't me," he said, then noticed everyone pointing at him. "Thanks a lot guys," he sighed with a smile. "So should we all leave and let these guys get back to whatever they were doing?" Kevin grinned. "We were just talking," Brian protested. "Must be hard to understand you when your tongues are all tied together like that," AJ laughed. I smiled and threw Nick's pillow at him. "Actually, I've never had a problem understanding him," I said. "Me neither," Brian agreed. "We generally make our feelings clear." AJ rolled his eyes and stood up. "Whatever. I'm going to bed. You guys do whatever your little hearts desire," he laughed. Kevin stood and offered Carrie his hand to help her up. This, predictably, drew another chorus of noise from the room. Carrie just smiled and took the offered hand. "See you tomorrow?" she asked Brian and I before they left. "Yeah. What time do you fly out?" Brian asked as we stood as well. "Nine," she answered. "So I won't be joining you guys for breakfast." "Okay," I said. "Why don't you stop by the room before you go?" "Will do." She smiled. "Oh, by the way, when are the next pages going to be done?" "Always on the job," I laughed. "I'm hoping that my very understanding editor will take recent events into account and let me slide just the tiniest little bit," I said with a grin. "I think that would be alright. Just this once," she returned the grin. "Just make sure that he doesn't completely forget about the book, okay?" she asked Brian. "He'll work," he promised. "Good," she nodded. "I'll see you in the morning, then." "Goodnight," Brian and I said as she and Kevin walked out the door. "We're outta here too," AJ said, motioning to Howie and Nick. "You guys try to get some sleep, okay? I'm sure you both need it." "I don't think that will be a problem," I said. "I feel like I could sleep for days," Brian agreed. Howie, AJ and Nick all said goodnight, telling Brian again how glad they were that he and his father had straightened things out. Brian thanked them and promised to see them in the morning, then shut the door. With a sigh, he collapsed back on the couch. "You okay?" I asked, sitting with him. "Yeah, just a bit drained. Who would have thought that coming home would end up like this?" "Well, I think the worst is over. At least your dad is on your side." "Our side," he corrected me. "Okay, our side," I said. "And he promised to talk to your brother, so at least he's going to get a balanced viewpoint." Brian nodded. "Yeah. Now if only mom would come around." "Give her time," I said, rubbing his shoulders. "Nate?" "Yes dear?" I said with a grin. "Do you want to explain these?" Brian asked, pulling out the package of cigarettes. "What's to explain?" I said, not wanting to go into it. "Nate. You don't smoke." "You're right. I don't," I agreed. "Then what's going on?" I groaned and sat back on the couch. Brian turned and looked at me. "I'm worried about you, Nate." "Which is exactly why I didn't want to talk about it," I said. Brian just looked at me and waited for me to continue. "Fine, I'll tell you. When I was in university, there were two tried and tested remedies for stress: smoking or drinking. I chose to go with smoking because it didn't screw your head up, and I could still write." "So you were smoking tonight because of what's been happening the last couple of days," Brian concluded. I nodded. "With everything that you've been going through, the last thing that you needed to see was me losing it. When I went downstairs to write for a while, I needed to do something. I saw the cigarettes and bought them." "Why didn't you talk to Kev? Or Andrea?" he asked, looking at me. "I did. But you know how sometimes all the talking in the world just can't help?" "I know," he agreed. "But these things will kill you," he laughed, holding up the package. "Which is why it's a good thing that my life is normally so stress-free," I grinned. "Normally, I can write the problem out. When I'm done there's no guarantee that I can use what I've written, but at least it's not in my head anymore." "Is that why you were so insistent on writing tonight?" "Yeah. I could feel all the tension building, and I knew that I couldn't afford to fall apart in front of you. I was hoping that getting some work done, combined with the cigarette, would help me get it together again." Brian crumpled the package of cigarettes and threw it at the garbage basket in the corner. "Okay," he said. "Now how about you and I go to bed?" "Sounds remarkably like a plan," I agreed, taking his hand. PART 43 I pulled Brian into the bedroom and started undressing him. When he was down to his boxers, I pushed him onto the bed so that he was laying on his stomach. Pulling off my own shirt and pants, I climbed on top of him and straddled his hips. "How's this?" I asked as I started to knead the muscles of his shoulders. As my fingers brushed along the silky skin of his back, I could feel the knots of tension. "That feels wonderful," Brian moaned, turning his head to the side and closing his eyes. "Sure does," I agreed with a laugh, enjoying the texture of his skin. I stopped massaging him and just stroked his back for a moment, making him laugh. "And that tickles," he smiled, squirming under me. I grinned and went back to rubbing his shoulders. With the tension I found there, I was surprised Brian had been able to move. "You're really tense, Brian," I commented as I tried to loosen his muscles. He flexed his back briefly, bunching the muscles at his shoulder blades. "You're telling me," he laughed. "It's been a rough couple of days. I was already uptight just having you stay with me at the house. With everything else that happened, it just built up." I nodded, not that he could see me with his eyes closed, and moved my hands down to his arms. "Check this out," I said with a smile. I moved my hands to the very edge of his shoulders and made fists out of them. Applying pressure with my knuckles, I raked a curve in to the centre of his back, down across his shoulder blades and back out just above his waist. "Oh my God!" Brian said, arching his back. "Whatever you just did, do it again!" I laughed and repeated the move, making him groan again. "Like it?" "Where did you learn to do that?" he asked, opening his eyes and trying to turn his head enough to look at me. "That felt incredible." "Andrea taught me that in university. She was terrific to have around come exam time," I grinned. "I don't know where she learned it." "Remind me to thank her," he smiled. "Did she teach you anything else?" "Well, I give a mean foot rub," I laughed. "But we'll save that for another time." Leaning down, I kissed Brian between the shoulders. "Mmmm. That felt good too," he grinned. I sat back up and attacked his muscles again. After a few minutes, they were loosening up and starting to feel a little more normal. Brian jumped a little as my phone rang. Opening his eyes, Brian threw a glance up at me. "Don't stop," he said, reaching over the edge of the bed and grabbing my pantleg. He pulled my pants over close enough for him to fish out the phone and flipped it open. "Nate's phone," he said. "He's a little busy at the moment. Can I take a message?" I tried not to laugh and went back to working on Brian's back. "Oh hi Andrea," Brian said happily. "We were just talking about you... Yes, it was all good," he laughed. "Yeah, he's here but he's rubbing my back, and it feels too good to let him stop to talk... He showed me alright. It felt terrific..." I smiled to myself and moved my hands to the small of his back. Pushing a little, I heard a series of slight pops and Brian moaned quietly again, then laughed. "No, Andrea. He really is just rubbing my back. He's being a perfect gentleman." I laughed and yelled toward the phone. "Get your mind out of the gutter, sweetie!" "I don't know, let me check," Brian grinned, then he flexed his back and moved around a little bit. "Okay, I guess he's done for now," he laughed. "I'll talk to you later, Andrea." He handed me the phone. "It's your girlfriend," he said with a smile. "Ewww," I said, loud enough for her to hear. I took the phone and crawled off of Brian. He immediately sat up and pushed me down on my stomach. "Hey you. I was going to call you tomorrow," I said into the phone as Brian sat on my legs. Feeling his hands fall on my shoulders, I sighed. "Sounds like you're having fun," she laughed. "Bri's just returning the favour," I explained. "What's up?" "I was just about to ask you that same question," she said. "When we talked yesterday you sounded terrible, and you said that Brian wasn't doing so hot either. Now you're laughing. What's the deal?" "Brian's father came by tonight," I said. "And?" "And, we talked, then they talked. He's really being great, Andy. He wants to understand what is happening, and he feels really bad about the way Jackie reacted." "But she still hasn't said anything?" Andrea asked. "No, but I'm hoping it's only a matter of time," I said. "At least Harold's coming to terms with our relationship. That's one ally we've got in that house. He promised to talk to Brian's brother and help him see that it's okay as well." "Sounds like a pretty great guy," she commented. "Yeah. I'm coming to like him," I laughed. "I think things are going to be okay." "That's good to hear. Brian sounds happy, anyway. That's a step in the right direction." "Yeah," I agreed, feeling Brian's fists coming to rest on my shoulders. "ACK!" I yelled as he ran his knuckles across my back. "Um, Brian? A little less pressure the next time," I said, trying to smile and flex my wounded back at the same time. "Unless you want a boyfriend in a back brace." Andrea laughed as Brian apologised sheepishly and went back to rubbing my back. "Remember the first time you tried that one?" she asked, still laughing a little bit. "I thought you were tearing my spine out." "Well, now I know how you felt," I laughed along with her. "How did things go with the newspapers?" "Excellent," she chirped. "You wouldn't believe how eager they were to talk to anyone who could give them some inside information on you and Nick." "Oh, I think I'd believe it," I grinned. "So they believed you?" "Oh yeah. I made them refer to me as 'an inside source' and leaked Erron's name. As long as he holds up his end of it, you should be free and clear. Of course, now you're going to have all of our Toronto friends wondering why you and Erron didn't tell them anything about it," she laughed. "We'll deal with that later," I smiled, thinking of all of my friends trying to figure out what was going on. "The important thing right now is that they think I'm happily involved." Brian slapped me on the shoulder. "You *are* happily involved," he laughed. "Correction: happily involved with Erron," I grinned, flicking my leg back to kick Brian in the ass. "Well, unless they're psychic, I don't think they'll see past this one. It's pretty convincing." "That's the idea," I agreed. "Carrie had the PR guys in New York get on it as well. With that many inside sources and private information, it'll take them awhile to get things sorted out." "You hope," she amended. "That's right," I conceded. "But I think it's going to work. I feel a little sorry for Erron, though. I mean, here I am on tour with the guys, and pretty much protected from the worst of the hounding by the media. He's fending for himself. They could be camping on our doorstep at the moment, waiting to snap a picture of him as he picks up the mail or anything." "Nate. You remember Erron, right?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "Erron lives for attention," she laughed. "He's going to be having a field day. If it gets to be too much for him, if that's possible, I'm sure he'll tell you." Picturing Erron in my head, I had to agree with her. "I suppose so, but I don't like putting him through this." "I know you don't, but there's not a whole lot of choice here. He knows that, and he's going to do whatever he can to help you and Brian. We all will." "What did I do to deserve you?" I asked. "I'm not sure," she laughed. "Maybe you were a saint in another life. You must have had an awful lot of good karma built up to get paired with me." "Please," I grinned. "And please don't make me think of pairing with you. You're making me queasy," I laughed. Brian pressed a little harder on my shoulder, finally loosening the knot that he had been working on. "Ahhh," I sighed. "Well, I can hear that you two are busy," Andrea laughed. "So I'm going to hang up now before I start hearing noises I don't want to hear." "No no no, *out* of the gutter," I chuckled. "But okay. I'll call you in a couple of days, alright?" "Sure, if I don't call you first. I miss you, you know." "I miss you too, hun," I smiled. "Wanna say bye to Brian?" "Yeah, put him back on for a minute." "Okay, bye," I said, handing the phone back up to Brian. One of his hands stayed on my back, stroking it softly as his other hand held the phone to his ear. "Hey," he said, then listened for a few minutes. "Thanks, Andrea. Yeah, I'm more than relieved... He's been perfect... I know... okay, bye." Brian tossed the phone back down on the floor and returned to my back. "She said to remember that you're special," he cooed, leaning over and pressing his chest to my back. "She doesn't know the half of it," he whispered into my ear. Sitting back up, he placed his knuckles to my shoulders again. "I'm going to try this again," he warned. He applied a little pressure and started to slowly move his hands to the centre of my back. "That's good," I sighed. He brought his fists together and ran them around, completing the curve. "Mmmmmm..." I moaned as I arched my back a little. "That was pretty much perfect." "Are you all loosened up now?" he asked, getting off of me and lying down beside me. "Much better than I was," I said, rolling over and throwing an arm over is midsection. I cuddled up beside him and rested my cheek beside his. "Thank you," I said, kissing him. "Thank you," he answered, kissing me back. "But you've still got to brush those teeth," he laughed. I slapped him playfully on the stomach and rolled off of the bed. Standing, I walked to the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush. "You ready for bed now?" I grinned as I returned to the room and found Brian already under the covers. "Not quite," he said with a smile. "There's something missing." He folded the blankets back and patted the mattress beside him. I grinned and slid into the bed with him, wrapping him in my arms. "Better?" "Much," he agreed, resting his head on my chest. His right hand came to rest on my stomach as he hugged himself to me. "I love you," he said quietly. "Who doesn't?" I laughed, earning a light slap from Brian. "I love you too." "Goodnight sweetie," he smiled up at me. "Goodnight." PART 44 I woke up sometime in the middle of the night with a scream locked behind my lips. Sitting upright in the bed, I looked quickly to Brian, and found him still sleeping. We had separated a little in the night, and my sudden movement hadn't disturbed him. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I found that it was three in the morning. Taking a deep breath, I slid out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. Closing the door, I flicked on the light switch. Wincing as the light pierced my eyes, I put a hand to my face and groped for the sink. I stood there in front of the counter for a few minutes, letting myself gradually adjust to the light. Finally, I opened my eyes fully and looked at my reflection. My eyes were too wide, and there were streaks running down my face from the tears. My cheeks were flushed and there was sweat on my brow. "Hey beautiful," I muttered, turning on the cold water tap. Bending over, I splashed my face. When I stood up again, I looked a little better. The colour had diminished in my cheeks, anyway, and my eyes were looking a little more normal. I grabbed a towel and dried my face, but didn't move from the mirror. "What the hell was that all about?" I asked myself softly, but got no answer. I didn't know what it was about. I had no idea what I had been dreaming about, and no idea what had made me react the way I had. Perhaps the scariest thing was, I had a feeling that I *could* know, if I really wanted to. But I didn't. The last thing I wanted to do was dwell on the nightmare. I didn't know what it was, and I didn't want to. I stood there, looking at myself, until I had gathered my senses and brought my heartbeat under control again. With a sigh, I turned off the light and opened the door. I stumbled back to the bedside, now blind, and slid back in beside Brian. He moaned and rolled over, coming to rest on my shoulder. "You okay?" he mumbled, squinting at me. He was still more asleep than awake. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Just had to pee." "Too much information," he laughed a little and closed his eyes again. Soon, his breathing had evened out and he was asleep again. It took me considerably longer to drift off. "Nate," Brian said, prodding me in the ribs. "Nate." "Poke me again and you better mean it," I laughed quietly before rolling away from him and resting my head on the pillow again. "Would you get up?" Brian laughed. "Carrie's here to say goodbye." "Tell her to keep in touch," I mumbled, still trying desperately to convince myself that I was dreaming. Brian ripped the covers off of the bed. "Get up!" he laughed, throwing me my pants. "Put these on and come say goodbye." I groaned and sat up, rubbing my eyes. "Alright, I'm coming," I said, swivelling so that my legs hung over the side of the bed. "But whoever schedules flights before noon should be shot." "My, we're grumpy in the morning," he laughed. Now get up!" I pulled the pants on over my legs, then put my hand out for Brian to help me off the bed. He grinned and pulled my hand until I was standing, then he bent down and pulled my pants up for me, buttoning them. "There. Now come on!" he urged, pulling my hand again and leading me out into the main room. Carrie laughed as she saw me being dragged in with my eyes still mostly shut. "Oh, did I interrupt your beauty sleep?" "Uh," I said, trying to force my eyes to open further. When they finally did, I found Carrie standing in front of me with her bags at her side. "Oh, hey Carrie," I said groggily. Brian laughed and slid his arm around me, as if he was afraid that I would tip over. "He's not much of a morning person," he smiled. "Hey, I'm much sunnier after my first cup of coffee," I protested with a grin. "So you're off for New York again?" I asked Carrie. "Work to be done, I'm afraid," she nodded. "I can't be like you and follow my boyfriend all around the continent," she laughed. "Boyfriend?" Brian asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Sounds to me like something happened last night that we weren't privy to," I smiled, perking up a bit. "Not what you're thinking about, you dirty boys," she grinned. "Kevin and I sat up all night talking. Just talking," she repeated, seeing that I was about to make a smart-ass comment. "I didn't realise that Kevin was so sweet," Brian laughed. "Well he is," she defended him. "We talked about everything. What we did when we were kids, what we wanted to be when we grew up, everything. It was very romantic to just sit and get to know him." "And nothing else happened?" I said sceptically. "Well..." "Yes?" Brian said, getting interested. "We were sitting up on the roof, talking, and he suddenly leaned in and kissed me. Not a passionate one, but a romantic one. It was nice." "Nice? Just nice?" I prodded. "Nathaniel Healy, do I look like the type of girl who would kiss and tell?" she laughed. "Yeah," Brian agreed with a smile. "Just because you're that type of girl doesn't mean that she is." I smacked him in the shoulder while they laughed at me. "So we're going to be seeing you again, then?" Brian asked her. "I think it's pretty likely," she agreed. "Kevin's going to come to New York when you guys get another few days off, and I'll come visit when I can." "That's great," I said, smiling at her. "Well, I got to keep an eye on my star writer, don't I?" "I think I could handle that for you," Brian laughed. "He's not hard to look at." Sensing another smart-ass comment coming from me, Carrie spoke first. "Well, I really do have to get going. Kevin has the limo waiting for me downstairs." "Is he going with you to the airport?" "No. He wanted to, but I made him go to bed instead," she said with a smile. "Okay, well then, I guess we'll be seeing you around," Brian said, giving Carrie a hug. "And don't worry. I'll make sure he gets down to work." Carrie nodded and grinned, then released Brian and grabbed me. "And you take care of him," she whispered as we hugged. "I will," I promised. "And I'll be talking to you over the next few days. I have a couple of ideas that I want to run by you." "Okay," she agreed. She grabbed her bags and turned for the door. "You two behave," she laughed as she walked out into the hall. "We promise to try," I said happily, putting my arm around Brian's waist. "See you later, Carrie." Carrie waved and headed for the elevator, and Brian and I closed the door after she got on. I immediately turned for the bedroom. Unbuttoning my pants, I let them fall to the floor and stepped out of them on my way, leaving them in a pile on the floor outside the bedroom door. I could hear Brian chuckling to himself as I lay back down and pulled the covers up over me. "You're something else," he laughed, standing in the doorway. "How can you just go back to bed like that?" "Well, it would be easier if there were someone here to keep me warm, but it's really not all that difficult," I smiled back at him. 'Especially when you wake up in the middle of the night and are afraid to go back to sleep again,' I added in my head. Brian came over and sat beside me on the bed, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "Do you want to skip breakfast?" he asked. "And miss the chance to pester Kevin about last night?" I asked with an evil grin. "No way. It's not time for breakfast already, is it?" "No, not for a while," he soothed me with a smile. "I'll wake you up when it's time to go." "You're not coming back to bed?" "Not now. I'm already awake. I'll just watch some TV or something," he said. Bending over to kiss me, he smiled. "You get some more sleep." "Okie," I said, resting my head on the pillow and closing my eyes. "Thanks." "No problem," he said quietly as he got up and walked to the door. "Sweet dreams." My heart skipped a beat at that, but I kept the smile on my face. I heard Brian move out into the other room and close the door softly. It seemed like he was immediately back at my side. "Nate," he said, shaking me a little. "It's time to get up." "Are you sure?" I asked, opening one eye and looking at him. "Yes, I'm sure," he laughed. "I thought you wanted to make fun of Kevin." I perked up a little at that. "Oh yeah," I said, a smile slowly spreading across my face. I slid out of the bed and stood up beside Brian. "Go get ready. You've got ten minutes," he said. I nodded and walked to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I decided that a shave, while needed, was going to have to wait. I washed my face and brushed my hair and teeth, then stepped back out into the room, where Brian had laid some of my clothes out on the bed. I smiled at his thoughtfulness and slipped on the chinos and the dark t-shirt he had put out. Walking out into the room, I found him standing out on the balcony, looking out at the city below. I walked out an joined him, putting my hands on his waist. "Looking good," he grinned, seeing me. "I have a boyfriend with good taste," I laughed. "You ready?" "Yep. Just saying goodbye," he said, turning and walking into the room with me right behind him. We opened the door just as Nick was walking past, apparently on his way to breakfast as well. "Hey guys," he said with a smile. "Hey Nick. Sorry about disrupting your date with Brian last night," I grinned. "Like I'd date him," Brian laughed. "Whatever," Nick shook his head. "Don't worry about it Nate. I'm just glad Harold came by." "That makes three of us," I agreed, putting my arm around Brian. "Now come on, I smell coffee." Brian and Nick laughed and the three of us walked toward Kevin's room. Finding the door closed, Nick knocked and called Kevin. AJ poked his head out of the door to his room. "Hey guys! Breakfast is in my room this morning. Kevin needed a bit more time to get ready." I laughed and Brian jabbed me in the ribs. "What?" Nick asked, noticing. "Nothing," Brian said, giving me a warning look. "Never mind." Nick shrugged and followed us down to AJ's room. There was an enormous amount of food, much more than I had seen at breakfast before. It was obvious that AJ wasn't used to ordering for the group. Brian, Nick and I said good morning to AJ and Howie, who was already there, and then headed for the table. I passed them each a plate and then took one for myself. Taking a slice of toast and a couple of pieces of cantaloupe, I poured myself a cup of coffee and turned to find a place to sit. Grabbing my arm, Brian turned me back around and placed a couple of slices of bacon, as well as another piece of toast and several strawberries on my plate. "For me?" he said sweetly, batting his eyelashes. Wishing again for an ugly boyfriend, I sighed and walked to the couch, balancing the plate precariously on my knee as I sipped the coffee. As is slid down my throat, warming me from inside out, I immediately started to feel more awake. "Shove over," Brian laughed, coming over to join me. I picked up my plate again and slid along the couch so that there was room for him to sit beside me. The movement almost made me spill my coffee, but I managed to stabilise it. I picked at the bacon, putting the end in my mouth and biting it. I saw Brian smiling at me as I chewed, so I turned and stuck my tongue out at him, complete with the little pile of chewed up bacon on it. "Ugh, Nate," Brian laughed. "Is this the thanks I get for making sure you eat properly?" "I eat fine," I protested. "I'm just not hungry." I popped a strawberry in my mouth. "Okay," Brian backed off. "I get the hint." "Brian," I said, afraid I had hurt his feelings. "Look, It's great that you want to make sure that I'm eating. I love that you care. But if I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry." "I know. I just want to take care of you," he said, looking up from his plate. "Well, you can. You just have to pick your battles," I grinned. "Okay. No more harping on your eating habits," he agreed with a smile. "But you've got to wear sweatpants." "I can safely say that will never happen. Ever," I laughed. "Never say never," Nick warned, sitting down with us. "I will NEVER wear sweatpants," I said directly to Nick. "Never," I repeated with a laugh. "For me?" Brian said again, giving me the puppy-dog eyes. "You know what? You used up about a month's worth of 'for me' last night with the broccoli," I smiled. Brian mumbled something under his breath, drawing a laugh from Nick. "What was that?" I asked. "Nothing, sweetie," he grinned. Nick just smiled and continued eating. In order to appease Brian a bit, I made sure to eat everything that he had put on my plate. I left my own selections. Setting my plate aside, I determined to pester Brian for a little while. I waited until he was about to take a bite out of his toast, then leaned over and blew gently into his ear, running my hand through his hair. Brian laughed, almost choking on the toast, and turned to me. "Something you need?" he asked. Nick started to laugh at that, and we both glared at him. "Nope," I said, turning my attention back to Brian. "Just having some fun." "Uh huh," he smiled at me. "I bet." I leaned in and gently sucked on his neck as he tried to finish his breakfast. Fearing that I would give him a hickey, I backed away and started to nibble on his ear lobe instead. "Sweetie? That's a little distracting," Brian laughed as he pulled his head away. "Really? I was having no trouble concentrating," I grinned. "I could tell," he laughed. "I don't know what's gotten into... Holy shit Kev, you look like hell," he laughed. I turned to see Kevin come into the room. Even if Brian and I hadn't known, it would have been obvious that he hadn't had much sleep. "Thanks," he said sarcastically as he walked toward the food. Bypassing it, he went straight for the coffee. "Long night?" Nick asked innocently, sending Brian and I into cackles of laughter. "What's with you two?" AJ asked with a smile. "Oh nothing," Brian managed, still laughing. "Just thinking about something Carrie said before she left." Kevin's face immediately went several shades of red. Sensing that there was a story here, Nick shifted closer to me. "Nate, what's going on?" "Sorry man, I can't tell you. It's not mine to tell," I said, laying my hand on his shoulder. "If you two freaks are done," Kevin growled, sitting down. "I'd like to try and get this coffee into me and wake up a little." I laughed and raised my hands in submission. "Okay, okay. You do that." "What the hell happened?" AJ asked. "Nothing happened," Kevin said quickly. "Nothing." "Did you and Carrie..." "No!" Kevin hissed. "Of course not. We just stayed up late talking." "Stayed up all night talking," Brian said with a grin. "All night?" Nick said, getting into the story. "You must really like her, Kev." Kevin nodded and sipped his coffee. "Yeah, I really do. She's really great." "That's pretty much what she said about you," I commented, sitting back in the seat. "Really?" Kevin sat forward. "Whoa," Brian laughed. "Calm down boy. Yeah, she really had a great time with you." Kevin smiled and sat back. After a moment, he got up and started to load a plate. "Geez AJ, you got enough food to feed a small army," he commented, looking at the trays. "Well, if someone hadn't been up all night chatting with their girlfriend, they could have ordered it themselves," AJ protested. "Besides, with all the relationships springing up around here, you never know who will have worked up an appetite." Brian spit his juice out all over the front of his shirt. I laughed and almost did the same thing with my coffee. After a brief struggle, I managed to swallow it. "Trouble sweetie?" I asked with a smile. "You could say that," Brian said, holding the front of his shirt out from his body. "I'm gonna go change," he said, standing up. "You might want to think about going with something sans-jus," I laughed. "Funny guy," Brian said, giving me an evil look as he walked out the door. "Touchy subject?" AJ asked with concern. I gave him a smile and shook my head. "Not that I know of," I said. "Just caught him off guard, I think." AJ nodded and started to laugh. "I was trying to get Kevin," he confessed with a grin. "There's obviously something he's not telling about last night." "It's really not that big," I said. Kevin looked up. "She told you about that too?" he asked. "Kev, please." I laughed. "You know Brian and I well enough to know that we *never* stop at half a story." He started to grin, and soon was chuckling. "She told you what?" Nick asked, nosing in. "Carrie and I kissed. That's it," Kevin said, throwing his hands up. "You know, sometimes I think it would be nice to have a secret that really stayed secret," he laughed. "Well, you're helping keep me and Brian a secret," I said. "But we all know about it," he added. "Okay, well, you haven't told anyone about Nick's little inflatable friend," I laughed, nudging Nick. "That's it!" Nick yelled, tackling me on the couch. He pinned me down and started lightly punching me in the middle of the chest repeatedly. "Is this supposed to hurt?" I asked with a grin. "Give it time," he promised. "Nick, why are you riding my boyfriend?" Brian asked from the doorway. I burst out laughing as Nick leapt off of me and vaulted over the back of the couch, his face going red. Brian was standing there with his shirt still unbuttoned and a huge grin on his face. Kevin, AJ, and Howie all started laughing as Nick quietly sat down on the couch opposite me. "I swear," Brian laughed, coming to sit with me again. "Is there anyone in this room that you couldn't sleep with?" Instantly four hands shot up. Looking around, I couldn't help but laugh. "You know you all want me," I grinned. Leaning my head on Brian's shoulder, I whispered to him. "They sure know how to make a guy feel desirable." Brian laughed and put his arm around me. In doing so, he caused the front of his shirt to open, revealing his chest and stomach. "Hmmmm," I said, laying my hand on his stomach. "This is nice." "Yeah?" Brian asked, leaning down to kiss me. "Oh yeah," I nodded as our lips met. I moved my hand around under his shirt and pulled him to me, making sure that the kiss lasted. "Feeling more desirable?" Brian smiled a moment later. "Oh yeah," I said again with a laugh. Kevin was smiling at us. "Sorry Nate, but I don't think I'm about to throw Carrie over and try to steal my cousin's boyfriend." "That's okay, Kev," I sighed. "You don't know what you're missing though." "I'll take my chances," he laughed. "And you know I'd snap you up in a second," AJ grinned as he stood from the table. "But you're seeing Brian, and I don't want to tread on his turf." "Sure, I understand," I smiled. "Hey, in the meantime, why don't you just date girls?" I asked with a laugh. AJ pretended to consider it. "Sounds good," he agreed. "Boy the tabloids would pay a fortune to get a conversation like that on tape," Nick laughed. "Please, don't mention the tabloids," Kevin groaned, draining his cup. "I've had enough of dealing with them to last me for a little while. I want you and Nate to promise to tone down your love affair until the hype dies down," he said with a grin. "Well, it'll be hard to keep my hands off of Nick, but I think I know what I can do to keep them busy," I grinned, playing with Brian's hair again. Brian laughed and kissed my cheek. "I'll do whatever I can to help," he said. "I thought you would," Kevin grinned. "So what's the plan today?" Howie said, bringing us back to business. "We fly out for Santa Fe at eleven, so we have to be out of the hotel by quarter after ten at the latest," Kevin said, checking his watch. "Which gives us half an hour. We should get packing." I stood from the couch and pulled Brian up with me. Kevin put his plate back on the cart with the food and walked to his room, making us all promise to be ready. Nick followed him, and Brian, Howie and I left together. "Nate?" Howie said as we walked out into the hall. "Yeah?" I asked, turning around to face him. "Can we talk for a minute? Alone?" To Be Continued... Thanks for reading everyone! :) As always, comments are certainly welcome! DLS dls_stories@hotmail.com