Legal Disclaimer: This story is fictional and not meant to imply anything abou the true sexual nature of any member of the Backstreet Boys or NSYNC. If you are under the age of 18, offended by homosexual material, or it is illegal to view in your area, you must leave now.
Notice of copyright: Copyright 1999 Mark Johnson, all rights reserved. This story may not be altered or reproduced in any way, without express written permission from the author, except for personal, non-commercial use. Permission to reproduce and electronically publish is granted to Nifty Erotic Stories Archive and its worldwide mirror sites. Permission may be requested from the author by emailing WWJustNDo@aol.com.
NSYNC, Backstreet Boys and B-Rok, Britney Spears, and LFO are registered trademarks and property of their respective owners; and Nifty is a trademark and property of the Nifty Erotic Stories Archive.
Author's Preface: Thanks for sticking with my story, I know that there are a lot of stories being posted on the Nifty Archive™. Please email all comments to WWJustNDo@aol.com.
Continuation of storyline: This is the next chapter of the bsb-and-nsync storyline. If you haven't already, please read the previous stories.
bsb and 'n sync
CHAPTER 3: When A Fire Burns Out
"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." — Aristotle
It rained. Water drenched the street. Pelting the pavement with so much force, yet accomplishing nothing. People quickly ran, trying to avoid the discomfort of the situation. Even as the rain slowed to a sprinkle, no sign of a rainbow appeared. In fact, the dark clouds looming above foreshadowed more rain.
Brian sat sadly, slouched in a chair, looking dismally out water streaked window. The rain had picked up again, how pelting the window in horizontal strings. Brian searched the horizon for a break in the clouds. Any glimmer of sunshine, he saw none. Only darkness that obstructed the glimmering sun.
Tears streamed down his own face. He was completely alone. Isolated from the whole world. Sadness consumed his whole heart and soul. Of all his wishes, he wanted nothing more than to have someone place their hand on his shoulder—comfort him in any way. He had tried to reach out, to make them understand. Instead, everyone had slapped his hands away and pushed them out of his life. Even his angel, Justin, had separated himself from Brian.
He blinked his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. His eyes began to burn with the salty water. Water so polluted, straight from his soul. Love, compassion and caring had all been expelled from his soul—leaving only a hollow sadness that consumed his entire body.
He had been there for so many people over the years; AJ, when he thought his girl friend was pregnant; Kevin, when he had thought seriously about leaving the group; Howie, about so many of his girl problems; and Nick, all the times he had screwed up, broken things, or forgotten appointments. And now, everyone it seemed, was abandoning him in his time of crisis.
Worse than everyone turning their back to Brian, was the sadness and heartache Brian felt for disappointing his own family and his religion. Though he had never discussed this issue with his family, he was sure they would not accept him. And about the latter, Brian a devout member of the Southern Baptist Church had been taught since such a young age that homosexuality was not only wrong and immoral but an abdomination in God's eyes.
Silence encompassed the room as Brian sat alone still, crying quietly. He couldn't take it anymore. He thought that with Justin by his side he could brave the storm, this was an impossibility he knew now. The world had closed Brian out, leaving him alone.
****
Justin roased in JC's strong, secure arms. Warmth comforted his body. He looked away from JC's angelic face towards the picturesque window. Rain poured down, washing away the past, leaving way for a beautiful and clean future. He slowly pulled himself away from JC's grasp, trying not to wake him. Everything said last night seemed like a distant dream, too hazy to recollect clearly. Justin's sadness had not only clouded his eyes, but also his memory and perception. His remembrance of the previous evening, was disappearing fast. However, the love, caring and understanding in JC's eyes, would always be remembered by Justin, cherished always in his heart.
Still, the insecutiry still ravaged in Justin's beating heart. Was he really gay? No one knew, and certainly he the least sure of them all. The answer was Brian, either way. An open door to a new life or the reality that Justin was merely confused about his own sexuality. But Justin was too scared to come forward and admit it either way. He decided he would rather live in a mask of ignorance than in the sharp, cutting pain of reality.
In fact, that is how he had lived his whole life. Never fully grasping the bitterness of reality. Always staying a child at heart. He had built up this defense mechonisim as a young child—when his parents divorced. The very thing that JC had said he cherished in Justin, was in fact, a lie. A disgraceful fear and timidness contained at the very root of Justin's core. The startling reality of discovering this self-repressed secret startled Justin more than the possibility of being a homosexual. This revelation left his body numb and deaded.
****
When clouds above you start
to pour
And all of your doubts rage like a storm
And you don't know who you are anymore
Let me help you find what you've been searching for
Somewhere there's a field
and a river
You can let your soul run free
Someday let me be the giver
Let me bring you peace
Somewhere there's a break in the weather
Where your heart and spirit go free
Someday it'll be for the better
Let me bring you peace
I know you think no one sees
The weight on your shoulders
But you can't fool me
And aren't you tired of standing so tall
Let me the one to catch you when you fall
Somewhere there's a field
and a river
You can let your soul run free
Someday let me be the giver
Let me bring you peace
Somewhere there's a break in the weather
Where your heart and spirit go free
Someday it'll be for the better
Let me bring you peace
Let me bring you joy, let me
bring you peace
Take the tears that you cry, trust them to me
Let me give you heart, and give you hope
Be the one constant love that you've never known...
Brian's heart listened to the song, grasping to hear every word. The song caused him only more sadness, a weight that seemed to collapse his heart. The song expressed his only hope at the time, yet he realized the hopelessness in his situation. Brian had hoped that Nick, and then Justin, would be his savior, unfortunetly both had deserted him. His heart dropped with an unbearable weight. A lump formed in his throat as his eyes began to tear again. His mood depressed more and more with each coming moment. How could he go on?
The two lights in his life, both Nick and Justin had both expelled him from their hearts, the sadness this caused suffacated the flame burning within his own heart. A flame that had once burned so brightly; shining so much light, showing so much promise now hindering on demise. A life blinded to the future and numbed from the past. Caught in the painful reality of present life. His eyes closed. Someone to hold him, that had been his one wish. Now this wish was transformed into something much more mortifying. Brian hoped now that his eyes would never open again. His heart never feel the burning pain of his life. That his soul never feel the emptiness that now consumed it. He could not endure it for one minute longer.
****
The truth sat in front of him, glaring at him. His arms were tightly tied as he struggled for freedom. He refused to lift his head, unsure of what would confront him if he did. Justin tried to scream, his voice unable to emit any noice. He was helpless in the world around him. Justin forced his neck down, his eyes tightly shut. Unwillingly however, his face lifted with no sign of an outside force. His eyes, were pressed shut were now beginning to open. Something that he had been ignoring his whole life overcame him; absorbed into his body. The image in front of him was familiar. Brian. There was no doubting it now. No repression, restraint of self-control could blind Justin to a simple fact. His body shook with terror. His greatest fear had birthed, reaking havoc on his body and mind. He was in fact, gay.
TO BE CONTINUED. . .
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Author’s Postscript:
I hope to have the next chapter posted by December 10th, 1999.
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