Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 19:23:10 -0700 (PDT) From: NCfan Subject: Boy bands/ Calming Waters 3 First off, I would like to say thanks to David and Nifty for putting up my story. I think this is an excellent web site with very wonderful and touching stories. Disclaimer: Well, this is my third installment. Again, this is purely a work of fiction. I do not know the orientation of any of the BSB or Nsync! *********** Within minutes, Nick was pushed onto the ground against his will. Nick tried to cry out for the kidnapper to stop, but his words were muffled by the kidnapper's tongue as it entered Nick's mouth. Nick fought to keep himself from biting the kidnapper's tongue as he struggled to push the kidnapper away from him. But the kidnapper seemed to be wrapped up in his own world as his hands roamed Nick's whole body. The man was twice as strong as Nick. Nick soon found himself pinned on the ground as the man reached for his boxers. Nick felt a little pressure and soon, the boxers were gone, flung elsewhere where Nick could not reach them. Nick panicked. The seemingly nice kidnapper was turning into a maniac right before his eyes. As time passed by, Nick struggled even harder, but that did not deter the kidnapper's lust. The man continued to press on Nick's body, rubbing and stroking Nick until Nick felt his skin burn from the friction. Never once did their lips part. Ten minutes seemed to pass before Nick began to give in to exhaustion. Unfortunately, the kidnapper interpreted Nick's suddenly yielding behavior as a sign of desire. He pushed his lips harder against Nick's, savoring the touch of Nick's gentle lips on his. His legs were completely wrapped around Nick's legs as he grinded his groins into Nick's. By now, Nick was completely naked while the kidnapper was still completely dressed. Gradually, the kidnapper decreased the force he used to pin Nick down. To his horror, he had pressed so hard on Nick's arms that once he lifted his hands, Nick's skin was slightly bruised. That was when the kidnapper felt the tears slipping down Nick's face one by one. That was when the man began to doubt his actions. The kidnapper looked, dumbfounded, not knowing whether they were tears of fear, of frustration or of anger. Immediately, as if struck by lightning, the man got off of Nick to give him some air. The moment his weight was removed, he saw Nick back away from him. The kidnapper's face turned a shade of crimson as the guilt began to gnaw at him. He looked around to see Nick's boxers beside him, and in an effort to show his repentance, he grabbed the boxers and went over to Nick. By now, Nick was shaking uncontrollably, his mind seemingly lost. The kidnapper knelt beside Nick and placed the boxers on Nick's legs, but the handsome young boy only whimpered at the touch. To the kidnapper, Nick seemed to be lost in another world. His wet eyes were a shade darker than they were an hour ago. When the kidnapper realized that Nick was not going to put on the boxers himself, the kidnapper grabbed them and started to thread Nick's legs through them. Nick's body remained immobile the whole time, which made the kidnapper even more disturbed. He cursed himself for letting his lust get out of hand like that. He had to control himself. It wasn't the right time, nor the right place. The kidnapper looked back at Nick's youthful face and raised his hand to lightly stroke it. Just as his fingers brushed Nick's cheeks, Nick suddenly came out of his trance and pushed the kidnapper away. With great effort, Nick stood up and ran wildly through the trees back to his safe haven. And all the while, the tears streamed down his face even more. The kidnapper was in pursuit, hoping to calm Nick down before he alarmed the others. Within a few hundred feet, the kidnapper grabbed Nick's arms as forcefully as he could without making Nick panic. He swirled Nick around and hugged him tightly, pushing Nick's face into his chest. To his surprise, Nick did not fight back. Nick's breaths were blowing into his chest rapidly. The kidnapper began to stroke the teenager's silk-like hair, something he used to do when he calmed down his pets back at home. Not that he thought of Nick as a pet, but he felt like they were of two different worlds. And the language barrier didn't help. He could totally understand English, but his tongue was not lucid enough to speak it. Once he was sure that Nick had recovered from the incident, he let his grip loosen. Nick's body slumped backwards a little with his eyes focused on the weeds on the ground. Without another word, Nick slowly walked back to the forest where Brian and Lance were waiting for them. The kidnapper did not hold him back this time. As the two walked side by side in the night, Nick couldn't help but feel the discomfort. The past few minutes had been a haze to him. In fact, the past week didn't seem real at all. He remembered how the night before, he had woken up in the middle of the night, crying. It was not the nightmare he had, but the memories triggered by the nightmare, that had aroused feelings of despair once again. He was afraid to tell anybody, especially Brian, mainly because he was ashamed. He didn't want to admit to Brian or Lance even though they were the two people that held him together at this moment. He didn't feel secure enough to tell them about his childhood, about how many men had paid his very own father so that they could 'play with his body'. He was ashamed to tell them about how poor his family had been, so poor to the point that his father would bargain with other men for nights out with Nick. These men were, on the most part, social outcasts who reveled in illicit sex. They would pay his father fifty dollars a night with Nick just to see Nick do anything and everything they desired--strip, have sex with one of them or have sex with groups of them at a time. Nick, at first, was scared. But after a while, he became used to that life. He became "professional" in these men's eyes. When Nick had finally joined the BSB, he was happy, hoping that the money he made would be enough so that his father didn't have to continue these cheap bargains. Well, that life was left behind, to Nick's relief. He had abstained from everything sexual in the past 7 years, which he had to admit, he was very proud of. He wasn't ready, not just yet. Otherwise, he would have accepted Justin's offer two nights ago. It had been tempting, but he didn't want to reduce their close friendship to sheer lust. Both groups knew of his orientation. He never kept it a secret from them. But he was still very shy about talking about his sexuality in front of them. If there was anybody he felt safe with, it would be Brian and Lance. Every time they looked at him, there was a hint of love in their eyes. Nick could sense it. They cared for him like a very close brother. He never would trade that in for anything. But some of the things they did was simply ludicrous; he thought back to the time they tried to find out that he was gay. Nick's thoughts drifted back to the present. He casted a sideways glance at the 6'6" blond man and shuddered. He was a little calmer than before, realizing that the kidnapper was not as irrational and psychotic as his actions suggested a while ago. But he was scared nevertheless--scared of what would have happened if the kidnapper had gone all the way with him. He wasn't ready, not yet. He felt that the kidnapper wasn't as evil as Brian and Lance thought. Nick could sense the goodness in him. But Nick couldn't really say that he had feelings for the man. In fact, Nick had been so comfortable with his sexual abstinence that he hadn't learned how to love in the past 7 years. He was afraid that with love came sex, and he was to scared to relive the memories. But even though he had refrained from thinking about it, Justin's proposal two nights ago had started a series of body memories in his mind. And they were memories of mental and physical pain. But when will he be ready? Or will he always be in limbo, waiting for a peace that will never come to him? As Nick thought of this, he began to shake again. He hugged himself, suddenly realizing that his clothes were not draped over him. Then he remembered-Lance, in his panic, had let his clothes drop into the flames! A feeling of panic began to take over Nick. He hated being exposed like this. It only took the kidnapper a few seconds to remove the rest of his clothes a few moments ago. That thought was scary. Nick looked over to the kidnapper who stared back with concern on his face. The kidnapper had seen Nick's shudder and took his shirt off. Nick made a motion for the kidnapper to stop, but the man continued removing his shirt and offering it to Nick. When Nick refused one more time, the man draped the shirt over Nick and Nick stopped fighting. The kidnapper smiled shyly and turned his attention back on the road. Nick felt grateful that the kidnapper was so considerate. In an effort to kill the silence, Nick said in a calm voice. "I don't even know your name yet." The kidnapper looked pleasantly surprised at Nick's remark and answered in a deep voice, "Moju." "Moju?" Nick repeated, his thoughts now focused on the kidnapper. "That's . . . um . . . interesting." The kidnapper had to smile at Nick's lack of words, but didn't offer a reply. Together they walked in silence, back to where Lance and Brian sat, waiting for their return. *********************** Brian laughed as Lance recovered from his traumatic experience. "You shrieked like there was no tomorrow!" Lance glared at him. "Well, if you saw that big . . . thing . . . you wouldn't blame me." "Woah Lance, you seem at a loss for words. And let me remind you that Nick was the one who was hanging onto that boa for dear life. Did you hear him scream?" Brian countered, having fun at Lance's expense. "Go ahead, be so unsupportive," Lance cried out. "I happened to be very scared of snakes. It's a phobia, a real illness!" Lance was not going to back away. "Besides, it nearly hurt Nick." At that, Brian stopped laughing. He looked to the bushes where the kidnapper and Nick had gone off. That was when he saw the dark ashes in the flames. "What's that?" Brian pointed to the burning clothes. "Wait, don't tell me. . . " Lance cut him off. "They're Nick's clothes." Lance replied nervously. "You took off his clothes?!!!!!" Now Brian flew into a fit of rage. "That's. . . that's . . underhanded. How dare you? I leave him with you for less than two hours and the next thing I know, you've taken advantage of him?" "Brian, please," Lance cried out. "You make it seem that I've raped him already. Of course I'm not that cruel. I took his clothes off to dry them. He was getting wet and cold!" Lance looked hurt that Brian would have so little trust in him. "I would never ever do anything to Nick against his will. Even if he's not my lover, he's my friend." With those words said, Brian looked down, slightly ashamed that he let his jealousy rage like that. "Sorry, I'm just a little anxious when it comes to Nick." Lance smiled weakly. "I think we both are, but . . . " "But what?" Brian asked, curious. "But what about him? Any man in his right mind would know that both of us like him a lot. Yet why does he act as if our emotions aren't there? Brian, I'm worried. I'm starting to feel that he doesn't really have anything for us." "Nonsense, we just need to give him time." Brian brushed off Lance's words, afraid to believe in them. "How much time? Another 2 years?" Lance blurted out before he knew the foolishness of his statement. "Look, I didn't mean it like that. I . . ." "Are you giving up?" Brian asked hopefully. Lance looked at the hope in Brian's eyes. He looked to the trees. "I don't know. I'm afraid to know how Nick feels about me. I'm afraid that he wouldn't return my love. And you know what Brian, he can't return both of our loves. One of us will ultimately get hurt." Brian's next words were barely a whisper, but Lance heard him loud and clear. "Or maybe, the both of us will come out hurt." Lance knew exactly what Brian was talking about--the kidnapper. "You think that Nick will fall for him?" Brian pondered the question. "It's a scary thought. I can't say that I know what Nick looks for in an ideal mate since he has always been so shy about that, but I sometimes think that he would go out for the really mysterious, romantic ones since he's so romantic and adventurous himself." Lance looked dejected. "Is that why he refused to date anybody these past years? None of us were good enough for him? None of us were the romantic, mysterious type?" Brian looked at Lance's sweet, but dejected face and felt a tightness around his chest. "I'm afraid. I don't want it to be, but he's so wild and carefree. I mean when he was young, he'd go all out when he played pranks. He had so much energy. And that's why we all loved him. Lance, he was a goofball, but he made us all laugh. He made everyone fall in love with him without even knowing it. And sometimes, I think that I don't have the same energy or spark as him. I would pray every night that something would make him change his mind or make him see me in a different light. But there's so much excitement in his world that I wonder whether he'll ever see me any different from the ten thousand other boring people that surround him." Lance looked at Brian, amazed at the way Brian described the situation. "You know, it takes courage to fall in love with someone, but it also takes courage to hold back and not force your love on that person as well." Brian looked at Lance and smiled. "You're gonna make me cry." Before Lance could reply, they heard the footsteps as the kidnapper and Nick walked back to their little haven. Brian and Lance jumped up for joy, knowing that Nick was safe, but both stopped in their tracks when they saw the two. Nick was wearing the man's shirt. Worse, there was dirt all over Nick's body and over the man's clothes, as if the two were goofing around on the ground. Not only that, their hair was disheveled. Brian and Lance looked at each other with thoughts and images running through their minds. "Umm, are you okay, Nick?" Lance asked. Nick looked at them shyly. "I, uh, we, uh, the snake was rather heavy so it took us a little extra effort to get it into the ditch." With that, Nick held onto the buttons of his shirt nervously. He looked down, trying to avert Brian's and Lance's gaze. "I, um, I'm a little tired. I just want to sleep." Before Brian and Lance could put in another word, Nick walked past them and laid down next to the fire with the kidnapper's shirt still draped over his body. The kidnapper followed, but slept on the other side of the flames. Brian and Lance stared in shock as they saw through Nick's lies. Both looked at Nick one more time only to see the evidence covering his whole body. The dirt completely covered his legs and both of them knew that his boxers had been off at one point in the past hour. It was simply an intuition, but a powerful one. Without saying a word, both of them walked over to the fire and laid down together, far from Nick and from the kidnapper, hurt by the revelations. Here they were, thinking of Nick day and night, and a total stranger takes Nick's virginity away in less than a day! Both Brian and Lance closed their eyes, willing for sleep to come, and soon it overtook them, taking their sadness and doubts away and casting a shadow of darkness over them. Both drifted off to a restless sleep as they fought hard to repress their feelings. ******************** The night seemed endless as Nick tried to count the stars to fall asleep. But he couldn't. He turned around to see where Brian and Lance slept only to see the two forms curled up against one another for warmth and comfort. The hurt hit Nick like a sharp dagger. Why didn't they want to sleep next to him? He stayed in that position, his eyes resting on Brian's and Lance's beautiful forms and a feeling of isolation tugged at his heart. He wished he didn't lie to them, but he was too shocked by the whole event to even bring it up. Plus, he didn't want to cause anymore discontent between Brian, Lance and Moju than there already was. But apparently, Brian and Lance were upset. Nick cursed himself for acting so clumsily. Rather than making things better, he had made them worse. He forced his eyes to close so that he could sleep, but he couldn't. He had too much on his mind. Plus, he was afraid to sleep. The night reminded him of the nights he slept with all those men. It made him sick. After trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep a few more times, Nick got up and walked into the woods, careful to remain silent so that he wouldn't wake the others up. He needed a breath of fresh air. He needed to rid of the suffocation that he felt was making it harder for him to breathe. Aimlessly, he walked into the night, following his heart which led him to a nearby stream where he sat all night thinking and reflecting.