Date: Tue, 4 Dec 2001 01:22:37 EST
From: Tnerb2U@aol.com
Subject: Chance and Brian Chapter 20 

Chance and Brian Chapter 20

I cannot believe that this has gone on this long.  I want to thank everyone
who has written me and stuck with the story..  even if I get no email
regarding the story.

Again to everyone that has written me about the story..  thank you..  its
always wonderful for writers to get feedback that is good or bad..  you
have to understand that it makes us want to write more..

and for the fun part....

 
Disclaimer..

I do not know any of the BSB....I do not know if they are gay or not..  and
I really dont care..  this story is a fun fictional fantasy story...  so
please take it as such..  If your to young to read this then dont..  if
your in a state that doesnt allow this kind of material then dont read it..
thanks

Ok on to the story..

and HEEEERRRREEEESSSSSS Chapter 20


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Brian hung his head and started crying..  my heart broke..  I was cussing
myself for lying..  how could I hurt him like this..  how could I have said
NO...  im such an idiot.

Brian spoke between sobs..  and said "If thats truly how you feel then I
have to accept your decision " and started walking towards the door. My
heart was breaking..  breaking for Brian and breaking for me..  I watched
him through tear filled eyes as he reached for the door handle..  I
screamed his name. "BRIAN!!!"  he turned and looked at me.  "Can you
forgive me?" I asked

"Forgive you for what.. being honest..  telling me how you feel..  what
your scared of..?"

"No.. Brian.."

"Then what Chance?"

"For Lying"

"What are you talking about ?"

"I lied to you...".  I paused...  "Brian I lied..  maybe im not good enough
for you..  maybe I feel insecure that you will find someone better than
me.. ..  but that doesnt change the fact that I lied to you."

"Chance... lied about what???" I could tell he was getting angry.

"About not wanting to be with you..  I want to be with you..  I want to be
with you forever..  I do choose you.. I had never not chosen you...  Brian
you are my choice you always have been and always will be .  Im sorry I
lied... I cant.".  breaking down I said "I couldnt watch you walk out that
door..  It would have killed me."

"Then why did you tell me NO Chance!!" he demanded.

"Because I was scared..... and you could do so much better than me.. hell
you could have anyone you want..  I still dont understand why you want me."

Brian walked back over to me and took my hands, he then leaned down and
kissed me and said "There is nothing better than you Chance... your all I
think of from morning until night I think about you.. I want no one else
but you ..  and as far as being good enough for me..  I have thought many
many times that maybe im not good enough for you..  and what happens if he
finds someone else he likes better. So you see your not the only one with
insecurities..  maybe next time we feel this way or we are having doubts we
should talk it out, instead of shutting each other out.  ...  like ive told
you many times Chance your the one I want, dont ever doubt that."

I sat and contemplated what Brian said and of course hes right..  Im so use
to working things out on my own that I didnt even think that I was shutting
him out, Im sure I made him feel like I didnt care what he wanted. I looked
up at him and said "Im truly sorry Brian, can you ever forgive me?"

"Baby...  there is nothing to forgive, next time just talk to me.. tell me
how you feel and what your thinking.... OK?" I smiled up at him and said "I
love you Brian..  Can I have a kiss now?"  He leaned down and kissed me...
its wasnt just a kiss that said "hey I like you." it was a kiss that said
"your mine and Im yours and I love you very much." I laid back down and
closed my eyes and sighed with satisfaction that maybe my life was going in
the right direction.

Brian laid down next to me and slowly snuggled up to my side..  "I love you
Brian."  he whispered back "I love you too baby, always and forever ."
 
He was soundly sleeping within minutes.  I sat there thinking about how
much my life was going to change.. but as they say change makes life
interesting, I guess I will be finding out just how much it was going to be
changing..  I twirled the ring Brian gave me on my finger...  and realized
that I needed to find a ring for Brian.. he has shown his devotion to me by
giving me the ring and I felt I needed to do the same thing for him, so I
decided that as soon as I get out of the hospital I would visit a jeweler
and have a ring made for him.  I laid there thinking about what tomorrow
would bring... and looked forward to it and the next day and the day after
that..  I see a future full of hope and love. I fell asleep with Brian
snuggled up to my side and loving every moment of it.

I awoke to Nate screaming....  "Daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Brian flew off the
bed from fright and landed on his butt I couldnt help but laugh..  I looked
down and said "Tig are you ok.???"  he glanced up at me with a dazed look
on his face and said "What the hell happened?"  I laughed even harder and
said "Ummm..  well Nate scared you..  and you ended up on the floor...  are
you going to sit down there or are you planning on getting up??"

Nate walked around the edge of the bed and looked at Brian like he was from
Pluto and said "Poppa, what are you doing on the floor.. did daddy push you
out of the bed??"  Brian burst into a fit of laughter and said "No...  I
fell out of the bed Pooh."

Nate cocked his head to the side and looked at Brian and then looked at me
concerned and said "Daddy..  I think we should get poppa some of the bumper
pads like I have on my bed..  so he wont fall out and hurt himself.."

I busted..  I couldnt help it as I was trying to breath from laughing so
hard..  I said "Nate.. that may be a good idea we will have to check into
that."

"Ha ha ha very funny.."  Brian said getting up and dusting himself off..

"Sweetie come here I think you missed a spot." he walked over to me and I
dusted off his upper legs..  and then reached up and dusted off his
butt... and then gently squeezed his left cheek.  He looked back at me, I
gave him a wink and said "Sorry...  that was a stubborn spot.. " and
smiled.

He rolled his eyes, smiled at me and sat on the edge of the bed again.
pooh ran over to the edge of the bed where Brian had sat down and tried to
climb up but couldnt make it.. Brian looked over at me and asked "Is it ok
if Nates gets on the bed with you..  I dont want him to hurt you."

"Tig it will be fine.. I cant wait to give him a hug.. I have missed him."
Brian looked down at Nate and said "Ok Pooh your dad had surgery so you
have to be very careful ok..  you dont want to hurt him."

"Ok poppa I promise, Please....... can I hug my daddy now."

"Of course you can."  Brian picked him up and sat him on the bed, Nate
crawled over to me and instead of getting up he laid next to me and very
slowly leaned over me and gave me a hug and kissed my cheek..  he whispered
in my ear "I love you daddy."  I whispered back in his ear.. "I love you
too Pooh" he then laid back down and didnt leave my side..  Brian moved up
and laid next to Nate so that all three of us were on the bed.  I looked
over and smiled and thought to myself..  I have my own family... a
wonderful son and a wonderful love. I am truly blessed.  The door to the
room came flying open with Nick looking like he was running a marathon..
"Nick whats wrong?" I asked

"Chance we cant find Nate.. he took off running and no one can find him.."
Nate peeked around me and said "Hi Nick" and waved at him.  You could tell
by the look on Nicks face that he wanted to throttle Nate but on the other
hand was glad that Nate was ok and with us.  I turned and looked at Nate
and said "Nate..  is that true that you ran off from Nick and Grandma?"
Nate hung his head and said "Yes" in such a small voice that I almost didnt
hear it.  Nick was at the side of the bed... I turned and looked at
Nick... you could see in his eyes that he was not happy with Nate..  I
turned back to Nate and said " What have I told you about running off??"
Nate didnt say anything. So again I said "What have I told you about
running off?" a little more forcefully this time.

"But dad.."

"Dont but dad me young man... what have I told you?!!!"

He sighed and said "That if I did it again that I would get a spankin"

"And what did you do??" I asked

"Ran off like I was told not too" I shook my head I was very disappointed
in him doing that.. someone could have taken him.. he could have gotten
lost or worse died.. so unfortunately I had no choice but to let him know
that he couldnt do it without consequences and since he was warned last
time..  this time was the consequence, I looked over at Nick and asked
"Nick could you leave us alone for a few minutes please?"  He shook his
head yes and walked over and out of the room..  I turned back to my defiant
son and said.. "Since you choose to keep running away from people you will
be punished Nate.. Do you understand that what you did was wrong and you
should never do that again?"

"Yes daddy.." he sobbed out..

"I warned you last time Nate and told you that if you did it again you
would get a spanking, and that is what your going to get." Nate and Brian
both looked over at me with shocked expressions on there faces.  You see
this will be the first time that I have had to spank Nate...  I have never
done it before... but I felt he needed to know this was a big time NO NO...

Brian said "Chance you cant do this..  you just had surgery... you will
only hurt yourself further."

"Brian he needs to know how serious this is and that he cant keep doing
this"

"I understand that Chance, but you cant give him a spanking since you just
had surgery."

"Well someone has to do it.. so its either me..  you.. or mom..  I guess
that leaves you or mom..  I will leave it up to you two then.." Brian
looked at me like he was going to puke..  I had to smile.. I said Brian we
can have mom do it since she was one of the people that he ran away from..
why dont you go get her and bring her in here and we can talk about it."

Brian got off the bed and said "No its ok.. I will take care of this..
after all I am his Poppa."  Brian looked from me to Nate and back to
me.... you could see it in his eyes that he didnt want to do this.. but
felt he needed too..  he looked back over to Nate and said "Nate come here
please." Nate crawled off of the bed and went over to Brian..  Brian sat
down on the only chair in the room and looked Nate in the eyes and said
"Nate what you did was wrong.. you should never run away from anyone.. as
your father said he told you last time that you would get a spanking if you
did it again.. and since your father is not well enough to give you that
spanking.. and I am your poppa.. that means I have too.. I want you to know
that I love you very much, but I also feel that you need to be punished for
running away..  do you understand that..??"

Nate wiped away a tear and said "Yes Poppa."

Brian pulled Nate over to him and said "Ok lean over my knee."  Nate did as
instructed.. and Brian gave him 3 quick hard smacks on the butt..  Nate
started crying harder immediately and started saying he was sorry and that
he would never do it again.. so after the fourth one I nodded to Brain that
he could stop.  Brian stood Nate back up and pulled him in for a hug and
kissed him on the forehead and said "I love you Nate and im sorry I had to
do that."  Nate hugged Brian back and said "Im sorry Poppa" and then choked
out "I promise I wont do it again."

"Thats good Nate....  now why dont you get up on the bed with your dad and
I will let everyone else know that they can come in now."  Nate crawled up
and onto the bed with Brians help..  Brian walked over and out of the
room..  Nate sat right next to me and looked up and into my eye's and said
"Daddy..  I promise I wont run away again."

"Good Nate im glad to hear that.. you know it scares me a lot when you do
that.  I do not want anyone running away with you or for you to get hurt,
thats why you were spanked, you need to know how serious running away from
someone is."

"Daddy I understand now.. and I promise that I wont do it again, I dont
want to get another spankin from Poppa...  it hurt."

"I know it did Pooh."  I tried with all my might not to laugh and leaned
over to Nate and kissed him on the top of the head.

Brian and the rest of the family walked into the room.. Did I just think
rest of the family..??  well I guess that is true to a certain point..
most of them were like family to me and would end up being family, since
Brian and I are engaged.  Mom walked over and kissed me on the cheek and
looked me over.. you know how moms do..  to make sure you are feeling ok.

"Mom im fine really... im in just a little pain but otherwise I feel pretty
good."

"Ok ok.. you know how I worry."

"Yeah I know mom." with that I started laughing.

"Dont get smart Chance." She said smiling..  I knew that I wasnt in any
trouble since she was smiling. But then again what could she do to me
except make me feel like crap..  but what mother doesnt when they are mad
at there children.

Nick and the guys came over and all kissed me on the check and asked how I
was doing and if they could get anything for me. "Guys im fine
really.. after I get some rest I will be back to my normal self."

Nick said "Oh god really!!!  I was hoping for someone better!!!"  I couldnt
help but laugh as did everyone else. "Nick..  you suck!!!" I said laughing
harder.. "And yes that has gotten out you have been told on..  and if your
nice to me I will tell you who told me, and if your not I will make sure
everyone knows that Nick Carter of the backdoor boys.... sucks!!!"  Nick
and everyone else started laughing.

Brian walked over and sat next to Nate.. I smiled and reached over and took
his hand and leaned over a little and kissed him and said "I love you
Brian" he smiled and said "I love you too baby."

We talked about (ok ok I talked about) how long they thought that I would
be in the hospital. Mom said that according to the doc for a few days.. but
if I did ok..  I could possibly get out tomorrow, but I shouldnt hold my
breath.

A thought just hit me like a ton of bricks so I said "Guys..  you have that
interview tomorrow morning dont you? and its really late.  You need to get
going.. and get some rest.. dont worry about me I am fine." Brian looked
over at me with those sad eyes.. you know that ones that say .. just a
little longer... please im not ready to go yet. I smiled and said "That
goes for you too Mr. Littrell, you need your rest too."

"I know Baby, Im going home with your mom and Nate."

"Brian you need rest... why dont you all go ahead and go.. and I will see
everyone tomorrow." Everyone slowly came over and gave me a hug and told me
that they were glad that I was ok...  except Brian... he didnt move from my
side with Nate. Brian picked Nate up and set him on the floor and told him
to go wait with Nick and Grandma.

Nate turned and said "I love you daddy"'

"I love you too Pooh." I said as he ran out the door.

After the door closed Brian came and sat by me again and said " I just
wanted a few more minutes of us time..  so that I could tell you how much I
love you Chance.. and how much you truly do mean to me." he paused
"Chance.. when I am out on the road with the band at times you may think
that I dont love you and that I dont call enough or see you enough..  but
you have to hold onto the Idea, thought and understanding that I love you
with all my heart.. and that you are the only man for me."

"Brian I know that at times it will be hard on me and you..  I know that
you love me and you know that I love you too.. and thats all I need. We
will keep in constant contact.. so that I know how you are doing and you
know how your little family is .. I love you Brian.. Please dont ever doubt
that..  and if I have ever made you doubt that.. I am truly sorry.  You
need to rest assured that you are the only man for me.... and I will always
be here for you."  Brian wiped away a tear that was starting to roll down
my face...  he then leaned over and kissed and hugged me.  I whispered "I
love you Brian always and forever."

"I love you too baby always and all the forevers in the world."

I started laughing.. Brian leaned back a little and said "and whats so
funny Mr. Archer?"

I laughed a little harder and said "you...  you are..  I thought I was the
biggest sap in the world Mr. Littrell but Im Thinking that you have me
beat." he looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and said "Is that a bad
thing?"

"Not at all Brian...  it just makes me love you more and more all the
time."

"Well good.. because im not going anywhere... well except on tour that
is.."

I started laughing.. hugged him and said..  "Go home and get some rest
Sweetie..  you look really tired."

"Ok Ok im going..." and with that he leaned over and gave me a kiss... then
got off the bed and walked out the door..

*******************************************************

Well im thinking this is enough for now..  as you have read they did not
break up..  but can they survive the upcoming tour..  ????  we will have to
wait and see..  Your more than welcome to email me with comments good bad
or otherwise.. the email addy is Tnerb2u@aol.com

Thanks for reading

Tnerb