Date: Fri, 10 Nov 2000 00:28:34 -0800 (PST) From: Red Subject: Chances Are Part 10 -12 Title: Chances Are Author: Red (redfirewitch@yahoo.com) Disclaimer: This is just fiction and there isn't an ounce of truth about the sexuality of the Nsync boys in here. At least not as far as I know. If you're below 18 or if you don't want to read fiction about homosexuality, how did you get here? Dedication: My favourite, kick-ass authors, Wen, Dara, Ice, MO, AJ, Angel, Rick, Mel Mac, Tomilee, Tripnots, Jrok, Sophie, Adam, Suma, Regina! Note: Thanks David! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously on Chances Are: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin leaned towards JC and whispered in his ears. "How about a lunch date? Just me and you?" JC looked at him. "You mean ditch the guys?" "Yep." "Deal!" JC said with a grin. "But let's go back to the hotel first." "Let's make a move. I've got as hot date and I've got to..." Justin felt someone cover his eyes before he could finish his sentence. "Guess who?" Justin almost groaned as he recognised the voice. "Britney?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 10 Justin took a deep breath and turned around to see the smiling blonde. She was wearing tight, black capri pants and a white shirt that was almost see through. Despite her revealing attire, she had that girl-next-door grin that made her America's sweetheart. "Hi Justin! Hey guys! How's it going?" Britney said as she hugged Justin. Justin hugged her back, albeit uncomfortably. He looked at JC to check if he was okay with the hug. JC just smiled reassuringly, silently telling him that he didn't mind. "We just finished shooting the segment. What are you doing here?" Justin asked. He wasn't prepared to see Britney yet. He was still psyching himself to tell her over dinner that he was involved with JC. "Interview. I heard you guys were up here so I dropped by. So, if you are done, want to go for lunch?" Britney suggested, looking at Justin in particular. "Well, actually..." Justin stammered. "Justin, can I talk to you for a second?" Julian asked, as he had been listening in to the conversation. Justin frowned slightly but let Julian take him to a side. The others just exchanged confuse looks and remained where they were, asking Britney questions. "What?" Justin asked. "You were about to refuse, weren't you?" Julian asked, looking closely at Justin. "Yeah. So?" "Justin. I know that you and JC are...well...dating now but we still have to keep your image safe. Go with Britney." Julian ordered. Justin scowled at Julian. He couldn't believe the guy's nerve. "Stop telling me what to do. I'm not a kid who's going to follow every direction his manager gives him. Assistant manager at that." Julian rubbed his forehead, trying to be patient. "Justin. You don't get it! You're a singer in a band whose fan base is made up of girls who are dreaming of becoming Mrs. Timberlake and Mrs. Chasez. If there's even a hint that you and JC are gay, it's all over. The fact that you might be dating a successful pop star only adds to your popularity. It's the game. You're in it. So play it." Justin had heard this a million times and hearing it another time was not making him feel any more compliant. "Damn you, Julian! I'm dating JC now and I thought that would stop management from trying to pair me with Britney! It's not going to happen! I'm not a Ken doll! Stop trying to match-make me with Barbie!" "You are definitely trying everything you can to rebel against us. When are you going to see we're all on the same side? I wonder if this thing with JC is just a phase for you to show us that you can do whatever you want." "WHAT!?" Justin shouted but Julian continued what he was saying. "You can date a goat for all I care. But play the game!" Julian said and walked away. Scowling, Justin walked back to join the group. Used to Justin's mood swings, Britney hooked her arm through Justin's. "You guys don't mind if I borrow Justin for lunch, do you?" Britney asked the other guys. Lance, Chris and Joey automatically looked at JC. JC saw them staring at him and knew they were waiting for him to answer. He smiled and looked back at Justin, knowing that this would be a good opportunity for Justin to tell Britney about them. "I don't mind. Just be sure not to lose him." JC replied. "Kind of hard to, what with that hair of his." Britney laughed then turned to Justin. "So, ready?" "Er...hang on a second. JC, can I talk to you for a second?" Justin asked, his eyes flashing with anger as he walked away. "Ok, what is it with all these side meetings?" Joey asked no one in particular. JC shrugged and followed Justin. Justin stopped along the corridor which was relatively less crowded. People were still walking up and down so Justin had to whisper. "I don't want to go for lunch with Brit! We made a date." Justin hissed. "Justin, you can't avoid telling her forever. You have to tell her about us. Why not now?" JC suggested. "Because I'm not ready. Fuck, JC! I don't know if I can do this and you're forcing me to!" Justin exclaimed. JC stared at Justin in shock. "I'm forcing you? Are you telling me that you're never going to tell her? Britney already thinks that there is a chance that you two could hook up again. If you don't tell her, you'll be leading her on. Is that what you want?" However Justin was still fuming from his conversation with Julian and was not ready to listen to reason. "What I want is for you to stop telling me what to do. You're just as bad as Julian." "What? Where did that come from?" JC exclaimed. "Why can't everyone let me live my life the way I want to? I'm with you now. I thought that would settle it. Why do I still have to act like I'm with Britney!?" "I'm not asking you to do that. What are you talking about?" JC asked. Justin's words reverberated in his mind. 'I thought that would settle it'. Settle what? Settle the fact that management couldn't pair him with Britney any more? Was being with him just an act of rebellion on Justin's part? "I'm talking about the way you treat me like some fucking kid. You don't have to schedule my decisions, JC. I get enough of that shit from management!" Justin yelled, drawing the attention of people. JC fell silent. He didn't understand where this was coming from but he could guess. But what Justin was saying hurt for some reason. Not because Justin was yelling. Over the years they had known each other, Justin always yelled and took out his frustrations and mood swings on his best friend. JC was used and immune to it. Almost. But this rant had some underlying issues and JC thought he knew what it was. JC didn't look away from Justin's angry blue eyes. His own gaze showed hurt and uncertainty. JC spoke softly. "You have something to prove to everyone, Justin and I think you're using this...this thing between us to do it. Maybe this is wrong." It was Justin's turn to be taken aback. He vaguely realized that he had said something to make JC respond in this way but the haze of anger blinded him to that. He just narrowed in on JC's words. "This thing? You know what I think? I think you're a coward Joshua Scott Chasez! You're using this as an excuse because you are afraid. Fine. If you really want me to go with Britney, I'll go. Permanently. I'll fit the mold that everyone seems to have set up for me. And you can happily go back to being straight and stay in denial." "Justin..." JC called out but the blond was already walking away to join the group. "Let's go Britney." Justin said curtly and grabbed her hand. "I'll see you guys at the hotel for the press conference." JC was about to say something but Justin just looked blankly at him and away. For a good measure, he even kissed Britney on the cheeks before walking away. "Bye, guys. See you later." Britney managed to say before Justin pulled her away. JC just watched Justin leave without saying a word to him. The rest of guys looked at him, wondering what had happened. The ironic thing was that he was wondering the same thing. "JC, what..." Lance tried to ask. "I'm going back to the hotel." JC said and walked out of the studio. Joey shrugged and pushed Chris and Lanced forward to follow him. ** When they arrived back at the hotel, JC stalked off to his room without a word to the others. "Ok, another fight?" Chris asked. "Probably. Must be because of Brit." Lance said. "What? You think JC is jealous or something?" Joey asked. "Maybe although it didn't seem like that. Let's give them time to cool down and we can ask them what's wrong." Lance said. "Are you sure? They usually fix these things on their own." Chris replied. "The rules have changed, Chris. Besides, I just want to find out what happened." Lance said as he entered his room. Joey and Chris automatically followed him in. "What are you guys doing?" "Aren't we going to have lunch?" Joey asked as he settled himself on Lance's bed. "We might as well eat here and then go out later." "Together? I was hoping for a break from your ugly mugs." Lance said as he closed the door. "Daddy's mad so I want to stay with mom!" Chris said as he sucked on his thumb and hugged Lance. "Get off me!" Lance laughed and pushed Chris away. He then picked up the phone and called for room service. "Hey! If JC's dad and Lance's mom then who's Justin?" Joey asked. "He's Baby. Dad's having an incestuous relationship with Baby!" Chris cried out and started jumping on the bed. As Lance was finishing placing his order, he added "And a straitjacket for my hyper friend. Never mind. Thanks." Turning to face his roommates, one of whom was doing star jumps while the other was trying to trip him, Lance wondered how was it that he was still sane. ** JC had been lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling form the moment he entered his room. He was still trying to figure out what had happened. His mind was in a whirlwind. One moment Justin and he were happy together, planning their first real date. The next minute, they were breaking up. "Breaking up? How can we be breaking up so soon? Is three days all we can survive as a couple?" JC asked the empty room. It didn't give him any answers. He recalled Justin's words. 'I think you're a coward Joshua Scott Chasez! You're using this as an excuse because you are afraid.' Was he afraid? To answer it truthfully, he would say yes but that was natural. This was the first time he was in a relationship with a guy. He was still dealing with that although so far, he hadn't experienced any serious angst over it. Maybe that was because the other guy was Justin. His best friend. Someone he knew and trusted as much as he knew and trusted himself. And the fact that Justin was in the exact same position as him, made what they were discovering about themselves, that much more precious. There was another aspect to his fear. He was in a relationship with his best friend. What if it didn't work out? "WHAT IF? News flash, Chasez! It didn't work out!" JC again said to himself. Was this going to affect their friendship? He knew he loved Justin and even if he couldn't be with Justin the way he wanted, he didn't want to lose their friendship. JC didn't think he could function without Justin, without being able see his impish smile or hear his teasing jokes. But why did he have to? Why did they even have to break up? Was Justin right? Was he using any excuse he got to push Justin away? "Like hell! I didn't even think about it! He was the one who said it! Not me! And it wasn't any excuse! He really did sound as if he was just trying to prove something to everyone. I don't want him to make a mistake about us just because of that. I don't want him to hate me if down the road, he realizes that he was just confused. I don't want to take advantage of him and that's why I asked him that. I want him to be sure. Is that so wrong?" The room was silent. JC rubbed his face with his hands. He was really screwed up if he was talking to himself and asking questions to no one in particular. But then who can give him the answers? Justin probably but he was pissed at him and also JC didn't think that Justin himself understood what was going on with him. Then who can he ask? "Of course! The person who started this whole mess!" JC exclaimed and sat up. He tried to recall the phone number and reached for the phone. Just then, there was a knock on his door. Thinking that it was probably one of the guys, JC sighed and got up off the bed to open the door. The person standing outside was the very person he wanted to see. "Can I come in?" Julian asked. "Talk of the devil. I was just about to call you." JC said as he let Julian in and closed the door. "Oh? Why? What's up?" "It's about Justin." "Oh. Good. Actually that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." Julian said as he sat down on JC's bed. "JC, I'm worried about you two." "What?" JC asked, confused. "Why?" Julian hesitated but continued. "Are you serious about Justin or is this just an...an experiment?" JC frowned. "Listen, Julian. If our being gay goes against your belief systems, then I'm sorry but there's......" "Woah! Wait, JC! This is not about me. I don't have anything against homosexuality or bisexuality. If you and Justin are serious, then I'll be happy for you guys. It's just that...are you serious?" "I am or rather I was." JC said morosely. "Justin and I had a fight. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. What did you say to him? He mentioned something about you trying to force him to do something." Julian sighed. "It's the same old story. I told Justin to go on the date with Britney because now that you and he are together, he could use the cover. I was just trying to look out for you guys." JC didn't like Julian's suggestion but he understood. Just as he understood why Justin would get mad at that idea. Justin had always resented management's control over his personal life. He had it worse than any of the other guys and so he was always butting heads with Julian. "That's why he was mad." JC said to himself. "I don't know if that's why. JC, I came here to ask if you two were serious and I got my answer. At least about you. Which is why what I'm going to say may make you angry." "What do you mean?" Julian took a deep breath before continuing. "I wonder if Justin is as serious as you or if he's just using this as an excuse to rebel against the company." JC frown deepened as Julian had voiced out the very thoughts that he had had. "Why do you say that?" "It was the things Justin said. He said that now that you two were together, that maybe I should start trying to other ways to boost your popularity. He said that he knew that his being gay would not please management but it definitely pleased him to pull the strings for once. The way he spoke it was as if, he was just using you to prove a point." "Justin wouldn't use me in that way." JC said, angry that Julian would even suggest that. "Not purposely, JC. He's a nineteen years old kid. How sure were you of your motivations when you were his age? You trusted Lou. You thought you were doing the right thing, following his directions. You even steered Justin into trusting him because you wanted success so bad. Your motivations were pure to you then but can you honestly say that you didn't blind yourself to the obvious signs just so NSYNC could succeed with Lou's backing?" JC was silent. This was something he had mentioned to Johnny once. He had blamed himself for not seeing the signs from the beginning and felt guilty about it. Johnny had dismissed it as nonsense and told him that none of what had happened was his fault. That he was just a kid starting out in a crafty business and that there was no way he could have known. Had Johnny just been trying to placate him? Seeing JC's contemplative expression, Julian continued. "It's the same with Justin. He thinks he's really in love with you but he sounds as if he badly wants to control some aspect of his life and he has convinced himself that he's gay. But what if he's just confused JC? What would that do to him in the long run when he comes to his senses?" "He would hate me." JC whispered, more to himself. "I doubt that but I know you don't want to hurt him in that way, JC." Julian said. "Look, I think I've said too much already. I've just this to say. I heard about your fight and maybe this is a good thing. You should use the time apart to evaluate the situation. If Justin isn't confused then a little time apart isn't going to change his feelings. If it is meant to be, it will be." Julian said philosophically. JC was silent as he tried to sort out the jumble of thoughts on his mind. He wished that Justin was there and that they could talk this over but if what Julian was saying was true, then Justin was just as confused as he was. JC sighed. "I think I need some time alone to think." "Of course. I understand." Julian said and stood up to head for the door. He exited the room and turned to look at JC apologetically. "I'm sorry, JC but I had to tell you. The friendship between the two of you is truly inspirational and I don't want your friendship to be destroyed because of this. It would make me feel like shit as Justin was doing this because of management." JC just nodded. "I'm glad you told me, Julian. You may have saved both us from a lot of pain." JC said. "I'll see you later for the conference. Bye." "Bye." Julian replied. JC closed the door and slumped down in a chair. What Julian said only confirmed his own fears. That was probably why Justin made love to him. JC was his closest friend and Justin trusted him not to push him further than he was ready to take things. But he took advantage of Justin's confusion. He felt like a creep. He was older than Justin was and he should have known better. There was only one thing he could do to salvage their friendship and that was to tell Justin that it was just a mistake. Justin was probably thinking the same thing by now. A mistake. A mistake that really hurt. JC wiped away the tear that escaped onto his cheek. ** As the door closed, Julian's apologetic expression changed to a cunning smile. It has been easier than he had thought. Then again, he had a forked tongue. He knew JC's distressed state of mind and had managed to manipulate him. He knew about the fight that Justin and JC had. By playing on the older man's doubts, he had been able to convince JC that Justin was just using him. But of course JC, being JC, wouldn't believe that his sweet little angel would consciously hurt him. The mention of Lou Pearlman was ingenious. Julian had heard from Johnny about how JC blamed himself for how the group had been cheated and he had used it to his advantage. Julian had had to make it seem like Justin was confused and JC had to show some tough love in order to make Justin see sense. It was obvious that JC had already been thinking along those lines. He had just helped convince him. Who knows? Maybe it could even be true! Julian began to walk towards the elevator. With a little more luck, his plan would succeed and Justin and JC would be permanently broken apart. A successful cash cow like NSYNC did not need homosexuality to ruin what they had going. Julian was not about to let something stupid like 'love' ruin his career. He whistled as he entered the elevator. ** Chapter 11 "Ok, Justin what's going on?" the blonde pop star asked, exasperatedly. "What do you mean, Brit?" Justin replied, his attention still not on the girl beside him. Justin and Britney had arrived in disguise, at the quiet restaurant, with just their bodyguards. It wasn't very classy but it afforded them the privacy they needed and the food was good. However, Justin was not in the mood to eat. He was still a little pissed off, although now it was more at himself than at JC. He hated his temper and these moods he got into and always regretted them after the explosion. Usually JC would be there with him to make him smile and forgive the outburst. But not this time. And Justin didn't even want to think of the reason why JC wasn't there with him. All he knew was that it was his own fault and that made him sulk even more. "Oh I don't know. You fought with JC. You kissed me in public where there were cameras. You haven't answered one question of mine since we sat down to eat with more than a grunt. All that tells me that something isn't right in the Timberlake world. What happened?" "Nothing." Britney was silent for a while as she inwardly fumed. "Fine. Let's go," she said sharply. "Where?" Justin asked, confused by the sudden change of plans. "Back to the hotel. Obviously you're not in a very talkative place right now and I'm not in the mood to pander to your need to sulk. I'm got better things to do, starting with talking to JC." Britney said and stood up. Justin grabbed Britney's arm and pulled her back into her seat. "No, wait." Britney sat down and crossed her arms in front of her. "What's going on, Justin? Is this about us again? I'm sorry if all those reports are making you uncomfortable but I can't stop management from circulating all those lies either." "Do you want to?" Justin asked before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that..." "Yes you did." Britney interrupted, as she watched Justin. They shared an awkward silence. "Do you want to know the truth?" Britney asked, looking down into her glass of water. She waited, not really expecting a verbal answer but knowing it anyway. "The truth is that I wish it were all true. I wish you loved me the way I love you." She looked up and met Justin's eyes. "Yes, Justin. I still love you. I never stopped." Justin looked surprised. Even when they were together, they had never said the words seriously. At least not him. "I...I'm sorry, Brit. I didn't realize..." Britney smiled sadly. "I know you didn't realize, Justin. When we broke up, I went along with it because I knew you didn't feel about me the way I felt about you. I just hoped that maybe in the future, when we were older, someday we will get back together." Justin looked down in shame. JC had been right. By not telling Britney, he was leading her on. He couldn't fault the girl for thinking that there was still a possibility for them because if it wasn't for JC, that would have been his thoughts too. 'JC! Shit! I was pretty mean to him just now. He was trying to help me out and I just blew him off. Just as how I'm being a prick to Britney by not telling her everything. This has got to stop here.' Justin met Britney's sad gaze. "I'm so sorry, Brit. You are one of my closest friends. You've always been truthful with me and you've always been there for me when I need you. I'm sorry that I haven't been the same." "What do you mean?" Britney asked. A waiter stepped up to refill their water. Seeing that they didn't have enough privacy there, Justin reached into his pocket for his wallet. Removing a few tens, he placed it on the table and stood up. He held out his hand to Britney. "How about we take a walk in the park? I promise I'll tell you everything." Britney hesitated a moment and then took his hand. ** They were walking in the park. Their bodyguards were a few feet away, giving them the privacy they needed. Justin adjusted his sunglasses and took in the sights while Britney finished her phone call. After a moment she switched off her cell phone and put it away in her tiny sling pouch. "Sorry about that. So, ready to confess?" Britney asked, more than a little curious. Justin stopped and sat down on one of the benches as Britney followed suit. "I told you just now that you've always been there for me and I'm hoping that after I tell you this, that will not change." Britney looked worried and put her hand on Justin's. "You're scaring me, Justin but of course I will always be there for you no matter what." Justin smiled. "What I'm going to tell you, only the guys, Julian, Mike and Lonnie know." "That seems like everyone." Britney said, half-jokingly. "And Chrissy knows." "Chrissy knows?" Britney asked. Her expression showed that she was a little hurt that Justin told Christina before telling her. "It's not what you think. Chrissy found out by accident." Justin explained. Britney nodded. "Go on." "Britney, I'm...I...I'm...gay." The girl just stared at him. For a second. Ten seconds. Twenty seconds. Thirty... "Brit?" Justin called out. Britney came out of her daze. "Did you say you're gay?" "Yes." "But...but that's...that's impossible! You...and I...you like girls!" Britney accused. "Yeah, but I also like J..." Justin stopped before saying the name but Britney caught on. "J? JC? You like JC?!! Oh my god! Is he also...?!" Justin sighed. Might as well tell her everything. "JC and I are dating. The guys found out when we told them. Christina found out when we were making out. Julian, Lonnie and Mike found out kind of the same way too. And now I'm telling you." Britney stood up and started pacing in front of the bench. Justin was worried about her. It was a shock to the guys too but none of them had been in love with him so he could only imagine what Britney was going through. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Brit." Britney laughed harshly. "Not as much as I am, Justin. Trust me! I can't believe this! All this time I was worried that you will meet some girl and fall in love with her and marry her and I'll just be a memory. But the joke's on me because it's not a girl who stole you, it's a guy! And the doozy is, you don't have to fall in love! You already loved him! You've always loved him! Before we even got together!" Justin tried to grab Britney's arm to stop her pacing but she just pulled free. "I guess I should be happy. You won't get married to him. You can't! One out of three isn't that bad, huh?" Britney said, laughing mirthlessly. Justin cringed. "Britney, please..." Britney came to a sudden halt. Justin saw that her eyes were filled with tears that she was fighting to hold back. "How could this happen, Justin? I love you! Why did you have to be with the one person in this world with whom I can never compete for your love? If it was any other guy, I might have that tiny hope that someday you will come back to me. But why the hell did you have to choose JC?!" Justin felt his own eyes tear up. He just stood up and held open his arms. Britney sobbed and fell into his embrace. "I'm so sorry, Brit. I'm so sorry." The two teens stood there hugging each other. Their bodyguards hearing the girl's grief, wondered about their charges, while making sure that no one intruded upon them. ** "Where is he?" JC muttered to himself as he replaced the phone in its cradle. It was 7pm and the conference was in an hour's time. Johnny Wright, their manager, had called for a meeting before the press conference. JC knew that it was probably about him and Justin. He wished that he could have spoken to Justin before having to meet Johnny but the teenager had not returned to his room yet. Even when JC called his cell phone, there hadn't been an answer. "Must be some date." JC said, ignoring the gnawing pain in his heart. JC stood up looked at his reflection in the mirror. A sad young man stared back at him. He had spent the past few hours thinking about what Julian had said. The longer that Justin was away from him, the more he thought that Justin and he were not meant to be. But there was still that little flicker of hope in him. "I've got to talk to him." Making sure he had his room card key, JC left his room and headed down the corridor to Lance's room. The door was open and he stepped in. Joey and Chris were already there as were the stylists. The stylists had already visited his room earlier so JC was ready. As usual, Chris was giving them a hard time. "Ow! That hurts! Stop pulling my hair!" Chris complained. "I'm combing it, Chris." Keith, the hairstylist, said with a patient sigh. "I'm 28. I think I know how to comb my own hair." Chris replied. He then proceeded to flatten his hair until they formed bangs over his forehead. "There!" "Hey! You look like JC when we first met him! You know, with that bowl cut of his?" Joey said. Chris looked horrified and quickly handed the brush back Keith. "Help!" JC just rolled his eyes and went to sit down on bed. Lance was having his shirt altered by one of the assistant and looked over at JC. "You ok, C?" JC met the inquiring green eyes and nodded. Lance didn't buy it. "Where's Justin?" "I don't know." "He's going to be late." Lance stated. JC shrugged nonchalantly. "So is Britney then." Lance frowned. "They still aren't back from..." "No. I called her assistant. She said that Britney wasn't back yet." Lance shook his head. He didn't know exactly what was going on but he could make a guess. He just hoped that it wasn't serious. Soon they were all ready. But they still had to wait for Justin. "I think we better go and meet up with Johnny first. The press conference is only at 8 so Justin can still make it in time." Lance suggested. They all agreed and made their way down to the conference room. The press weren't allowed inside until later so the group and their management had the room to themselves. The moment they entered they saw their manager as well as their missing band member. Justin was standing with Britney and talking to Johnny and Julian. "There you are, Curly! We were waiting for you." Joey said as he took a seat at the table. Justin looked at his band mates apologetically. "Sorry guys. I had something important to take care of," he said, looking at Britney. Britney smiled back at him, silently telling him thanks and that she was ok. JC saw the look that Justin and Britney shared and looked down at the table, sadly. He had expected and feared this. But he told himself that it was for the best. Engrossed in his thoughts, he didn't see Justin trying to catch his eyes. Justin wanted to apologize to JC but this wasn't the time or place. Besides, he was too aware of Britney's pain. He didn't want to cause her more pain by flaunting his relationship with JC in front of her. She had taken a while to calm down and had to immediately put on a smile when a fan approached them for an autograph. Before they had come for the meeting, she had told him something that made him think that maybe things will be ok after all. "I'm not going to lie. This sucks for me, Justin. I might even hate JC a little. But I do want the both of you to be happy and if that is only possible if you both are together, then I'll try to be happy for you. Just give me time, ok?" Britney said. Time and understanding was all that Justin could give her so he had smiled and hugged her. "Now that everyone is here, we can start the meeting." Johnny said, gesturing for everyone to take a seat. "Both tours start tomorrow. There are no changes in the schedule given. As there are a couple of award shows occurring concurrently with your tours, everything is going to be busier than usual. Plus, NSYNC will have to shoot the video for It's Gonna Be Me and Britney will have to shoot the video for Lucky. You probably can guess but I'm going to say it anyway. It's going to be hell." "Ya ya. We know this, Johnny. Now what's really on your mind?" Chris asked. Johnny shook his head at Chris and smiled. "Fine. I'll get to the point. It's come to my attention that...that two of you are dating." "You can say their names, Johnny. They know who they are and we know who they are." Britney said. JC's head whipped up abruptly as he looked at Britney. She was staring straight at him. "Justin told me." Britney said softly. JC met Justin's eyes. He was pleased and relieved that Justin had told Britney but at the same time he was a little apprehensive. What should he do now? Should he still break it up with Justin? After all the issue wasn't really about telling Britney. It was about what Justin wanted and whether he even knew what he wanted. "All right. Since we all know, then we don't have to tiptoe around the issue." Johnny said. "What issue? Justin and JC are dating. They are smart guys and I'm sure they know that they have to be careful in public. I don't see a problem there." Lance said, speaking up for his friends. "It isn't that simple. They both still have to maintain a certain image." Julian replied. "Oh right. That image where we are all normal straight guys who like girls but aren't dating anyone because we want to save ourselves for a lucky fan whom we will end up falling for. No, can't hurt that image!" Joey said sarcastically. "Now Joey, no need for that tone. I'm not the enemy here. There is no enemy. It's just the business." Johnny said. "Justin, I'm sorry but we can't let there be even a hint of suspicion that you are gay. I hope you understand that." "I do, Johnny. But I hate it that you're using Brit this way. She can't date anyone without it making it seem like she's cheating on me or something. I can't do that to her." Justin said then looked at Britney. "Not anymore." Britney smiled and squeezed Justin's hand. JC looked away from the two of them. "I know this isn't fair to Britney but she's the only one who knows about you and JC, Justin. He can be around you two without it seeming suspicious or without you two having to hide your relationship." "I don't have to be in relationship to seem straight, Johnny. Joey's an example." "Joey's a flirt." Julian stated. "HEY!" Joey protested, then relented. "Oh fine." "Then I'll flirt a lot too. This is not negotiable, Johnny. I want you to stop promoting Britney and me as a couple. She deserves better." Justin said, putting an arm around her. Johnny seemed to consider it for a moment. "Ok. We'll stop sending out those pictures." He smiled. "I'm sorry if that means anything to the both of you. In a way I always figured that you two would really hook up. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for you and JC. But if you were straight, I would have bet good money that you both will get together." Justin almost winced. He could imagine how Britney felt hearing that since she had told him earlier that she had thought the very thing. But the fact was that he was not straight. He didn't know what he was but he knew that he loved JC and that was enough. JC was having thought to the contrary. He couldn't help but think that Johnny was right. If Justin wasn't gay or bisexual, if Justin was just fooling himself, then he should rightfully be with Britney. The two teenagers shared a close bond and they could have something that was right. They could have something that was normal. As he was lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the rest of conversations. Johnny concluded the meeting and told them to prepare for the press conference as he left to meet the reporters in the main conference room. Julian stayed behind for a while. "Looks like you've won another battle with us, Justin." Julian said lightly. He met JC's eyes and gave him a look that reminded the latter of their earlier conversation. "I hope you know what you're doing." Justin looked at Julian strangely, wondering what he was talking about. "Of course I know what I'm doing. I'm taking control of my life." "I know, Justin. I know control is important to you. I just hope you don't screw up your friendship because of it." "What are you talkin..." "We have to go now. Come on." Julian said and headed on to meet the reporters in the main conference room. Justin watched Julian go in confusion and turned back to see that JC was beside him, lost in thought. "Hey." Justin called out softly, placing his hand on JC's arm. The brunet jumped slightly, coming out of his thoughts. "Huh? What?" Justin grinned, then his smile turned apologetic. He wanted to badly hold JC's hand as he apologized for his earlier outburst but he didn't want to rub salt into Britney's wound. She needed more time to get used to the fact that he and JC were together and didn't need to see any physical show of affection right then. "We need to talk. Actually I need to talk to you." JC felt himself being drawn into those deep blue eyes but pulled himself free. Lowering his gaze, he nodded. "I have to talk to you too. But we can't do it now, so let's go." JC said and left the room to head to the main conference room. Justin watched him go and sighed. The others looked at him. "Ok, we didn't ask JC because he looked pretty pissed off. But you aren't getting away easy. What's going on?" Chris asked. "I said some things I shouldn't have and I guess he's still angry." Justin explained. "JC? Angry at YOU? Wow. I didn't even that was possible. You must have said something really bad!" Joey said. "Yeah I did." Justin said and followed JC out of the room with the rest in tow. ** Chapter 12 The press conference was over quickly with the usual questions about their tour, their opening acts, their movie, their side projects and their charity involvement. It was the same for Britney. Miraculously, it seemed to Justin, there weren't any questions about Britney and him. He just figured that even the press was getting sick and tired of the usual song and dance concerning them. Everyone had been led to an adjoining room where a buffet was set up. Johnny wanted everyone to stick around for pictures at least for a little while and then their time was their own until the next morning. They were leaving early in the morning, so guys just decide to hang out in their rooms and have an early night. Justin figured it would be a good opportunity for him to talk to JC. Justin looked around the crowd and saw JC talking to a reporter. A Gillian something or other from one of the teen magazines. He was about to go up to him but took a moment to look at his boyfriend. He knew that everyone thought that JC was very good-looking but Justin would rather describe him as beautiful. Just the way JC smiled or looked at him made him want to forget about everything else. His eyes just held so much love and care that it made the person they were gazing at feel very special. More special than they've ever felt before. Even though millions of girls looked at him with an adoring look, Justin never felt the way he did when JC was looking at him. JC just had a way to make him feel that everything would be all right. "I finally understand what they mean by 'love-struck'" Justin was startled out of his thoughts by Britney's voice. He turned to see her looking at him with a pensive smile. "What?" "The way you're looking at him, it shows what the love-struck gaze looks like." Justin smiled. "I'm that obvious?" "Yeah. Actually, you've always looked at him in that way. But before, I thought it was some brotherly love, admiration thing. Even then those words didn't fit the way you look at each other. I think love-struck is the best way to describe it." Britney stated. Justin looked back at JC, who smiling at something Gillian was saying. "I really do love him. It took me forever to admit it to myself." "Have you told him?" "No, too soon don't you think?" "I don't know. You may only have hooked up recently but you've known each other your whole life. You've been in love with him for as long as you've known him, Justin. As hard as it is for me to admit it, I have to say that." Britney replied. Justin looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you about..." "No it's ok. I'm your friend. I'm both your friend. I'm not going to hold you back expression how you feel. You're in love and you want to shout it out to everyone who would hear. But you can't do that with everyone. Only your friends. And I want to be one of those friends." Britney said, then smiled. "It's going to be difficult but I'll get over you, Timberlake. You're not THAT unforgettable." Justin grinned at Britney and pulled her into a hug. ** "Awww. Look at them. They are so cute together. They can deny it all they want but it's so obvious that they are meant for each other." Gillian gushed as she stood beside JC, and watched Justin and Britney hugging. JC had to force himself to smile and resist stalking over to the Britney and Justin and pulling them apart. 'Maybe I could even pull her hair for good measure. Would make a good bitch fight for the press, wouldn't it?' "So JC, come on and admit it. They are secretly dating, aren't they?" Gillian asked, lowering her voice conspiratorially. JC just smiled, painfully. He was so sick of this and he wasn't in the mood to humor her with their usual, rehearsed answer. "Excuse me, Gillian." With that he left the woman gaping and made his way out of the room. He walked pass Joey who was flirting with two giggling women. "Hey, C! Where are you going?" Joey called out but JC didn't even hear him. He just wanted to get out of there. Joey saw JC heading toward the hotel exit instead of the elevators and without security at that. He considered going after JC but when he felt the redhead he was with, touch his arm and smile, that thought flew out of his mind faster than a speeding train. After all, JC was a big boy and he could take care of himself. Right now he had two attractive women to take care off. ** Justin said good bye to Britney and promised to call her. He turned back to look at JC only to find him missing. Frowning he began to look around for the brunet. He found Lance and Chris instead. "Hey guys, where's JC?" Justin asked, still searching the room for any sign of his boyfriend. Chris started patting his pockets. "Nope, not in here." Justin just gave him a deadpan look. "I don't know, J. Maybe he went back to his room." Lance suggested. "Maybe he's with Joey. Joey's gone AWOL too." Chris noted. "Do we have to be here any longer?" Justin asked, eager to go look for JC. "I don't see why? We've mingled, rubbed shoulders and other unmentionable parts already. I think it's safe to say, we've secured our release." Chris replied and began to make his way out of the room, with Justin and Lance following behind him. After 30 minutes of saying goodbye to the media members waylaying them, the three NSYNCers managed to leave the conference area and head up to their room. As they reached their floor, they saw Mike and Lonnie standing along the corridor and talking. "Hey House, is JC in his room?" Justin immediately asked. "No. I thought he was with you guys." Lonnie replied. Justin frowned and reached for his cell phone. Lance saw that Justin was worried. "Maybe he and Joey went out for a ride or something." "Not possible. Joey's in Lance's room...with company." Mike said, with a sly smile. "Company? What...oh." Lance said, then added moodily. "It figures. Wait a minute! Why is he in MY room?" "Think about it, Scoop. Joey's room? That's messed up place? Is that somewhere you would take a girl to?" Chris asked. Justin flipped his phone off and scowled at everyone. "He's not answering his phone. Where the hell is JC?" "Are you sure, he's not still at the conference?" Lonnie asked. "Even Lance couldn't stand that place any longer, what makes you think JC could?" Justin asked. "I think there an insult about me somewhere in that sentence but I'm going to let it go." Lance said then headed for his room. "And I want Joey and his girl..." "Girls." Mike corrected. "Girls. Girls?" Lance questioned, raising his eyebrows. Mike stuck out three fingers in answer. "Woah! And I thought two was his limit!" Chris exclaimed, looking clearly impressed. Lance glowered at Chris and stomped over to his room. Banging on the door twice as a warning, he immediately took out his key card to open the door. They could all hear the sound of footsteps scrambling around and murmurs of voices. "I'm coming in!" Lance yelled and opened the door. Joey and the three girls were just sitting innocently on the couch and the bed, with drinks in their hands. None of them looked frazzled but all of them looked surprised. "We are not deaf, Lance. You don't have to yell." Joey said calmly. Lance looked embarrassed. Chris looked disappointed. Mike looked apologetic. Lonnie looked amused. Justin barely noticed as he was busily calling JC on his cell phone again. "Sorry, I just...er...this is my room!" Lance stated, not knowing what else say. "It's ok, Lance. We didn't touch any of your stuff." Joey said, looking Lance as if he was crazy. "Linda, here, used to go to high-school with me. And these are her friends, Yvonne and May. We wanted to talk some place quiet and nice, and that kind of rules out my room." "I'm sorry for intruding," Linda as all the three girls stood up. "Er, that's ok. I'm sorry I..." "That's fine. So Joey, remember to call me when you get back here again." Linda said and hugged Joey. "Sure thing. It was great to see you, Lin. Tell that brother of your that he still owes me one from that time I saved his butt from Rocco!" Joey said with a grin. "Will do. Bye." The other two girls said their good-byes too and left the room, leaving Chris shaking his head at Joey. "I've lost my respect for you, man! I was expecting an orgy and I get a high-school reunion! What happened, Joe!?" Chris asked. Joey grinned. "I can't mess with Linda. Her husband can make Mike Tyson look like a boy scout! Sorry about suing your room, Lance." "That's ok. I just thought..." "What? An orgy...in your bed?" Joey asked, grinning playfully. "Not without you, Scoop!" Lance blushed and turned away under the pretense of putting his key-card on the table. "ARGH! Why isn't he answering his fucking phone!?" Justin yelled. "Maybe he didn't take his phone," Lonnie suggested. "Who are we talking about?" Joey asked. "JC." Mike replied. "I saw him leaving the hotel." Joey said. "WHAT!" Mike, Lonnie and Justin all exclaimed at the same time. "Without security? Is he crazy? He's just asking for a mobbing!" Justin ranted. "Calm down, Curly. We'll go look for him. JC's smart. He wouldn't head out too far." Mike said and headed out the room with Lonnie in tow. Lonnie stopped right before leaving the room. "And I want you to stay put! Don't go searching for him on your own!" "Fine! Just find him and call me once you do." Justin said as he bodyguard disappeared out of sight. "Ok, why are you freaking out, J? What's going on? What exactly did you say to JC?" Lance asked. He wanted straightforward answers. "Yeah! Just yesterday, you two were attached at your hips and lips and by today, both of you are running away from each other. What's up with that? You have fight?" Joey asked. Justin was silent for a while. "Come on, Curly. Maybe we can help." Chris said. "We had a fight and I said something stupid." Justin muttered. "Like what?" Lance asked. "I might have inadvertently accused JC of running my life, called him a coward and told him that I want to break up." Justin mumbled not meeting their eyes. There a silence. "And I thought * I* was a relationship washout." Joey mused. ** JC sat morosely at the bar, angry and sad at the same time. Everything seemed messed up to him. He wished he had never spoken to Julian. Right now all he wanted to do was to talk to Justin make up with him. To hell with the consequences. But Julian's words made him reconsider that. He had always been protective of Justin and the last thing he wanted was to be the cause of Justin's future pain. What he wanted and what he needed were clashing and it left him confused. 'And I'm trying to get drunk. Smart move. Like that would help.' He had wondered out into the cold night, unaware of where he was heading. Surprised that no one had recognized him, he had ended up near a rather swanky but quiet club. Deciding to get out of the cold for a while, he entered only to find an almost empty place. The club was very small and more like a bar than a club. The blues played from the speakers. And it matched JC's mood so he stayed. That had been about half an hour and two beers ago. JC felt someone sit beside him. He didn't think much of it until he felt that the person was staring at him. Thinking it could be Justin, JC turned to look at him. But it wasn't Justin. The guy was a stranger. He had chiseled features and dark looks. With short black hair and piercing brown eyes, he was drop-dead gorgeous. Despite the fact that JC was now looking at him, the man continued to stare at JC. JC was getting a little uncomfortable with the way the man was staring at him. Normal fans, although this guy didn't fall under the category of 'normal fans', spoke up or screamed. Press people asked questions or just started clicking away on their cameras. This guy wasn't doing any of those things. "Can I help you?" JC asked, not in the mood to be polite. Those words brought the stranger out of his trance. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was staring." The stranger said, blushing slightly. JC just looked at him for a while, then back at his drink. He was considering walking back to his hotel room when the stranger spoke up. "I'm Caleb. Not that you would care but I just thought I would introduce myself anyway." JC looked at Caleb quizzically before smiling and holding out his hand. "I'm JC." "I know. You're from Nsync." JC's surprise was evident on his face. "Don't be surprised. Not all your fans are 12 year old girls." Caleb said, smiling. JC couldn't help but notice that Caleb had a beautiful smile and it only accentuated his good looks. 'What are you doing? You shouldn't be looking at this guy. What about Justin?' 'What about Justin? He's broken up with you. He just has something to prove to the world and he was just using you.' 'You can't believe that. It was just a fight. You know he won't hurt you.' 'Not intentionally. But he may not even realize that he's doing that.' JC felt like he was having Angel JC and Devil JC on each shoulder and both were whispering to him. Angel JC. 'You're just looking for an excuse to run. Justin was right. You're a coward.' Devil JC. 'Does it matter? He's probably just experimenting. He'll probably hook up with Britney. He'll be happy and normal while you can be screwed up.' Angel JC. 'You have to talk to Justin before doing something stupid!' Devil JC. 'Doing what? It's not like you are humping the guy! You're just talking to him.' "Hello? JC?" Caleb called out, waving his hand in front of JC's face. JC blinked and looked at him. "Sorry." "Serious thoughts?" "Yeah." "I'm guessing relationship problems." Caleb said as he took the drink that the bar-tender handed him. JC usually was rather close-mouthed about his personal life especially to strangers. But the events of the day coupled with the few drinks he had already had made him relax a little and open up. "Yeah. How did you guess?" "It's always love or career that drives men to drown their sorrows. And knowing who you are, it can't be career." Caleb stated. JC just remained quiet. "Wanna talk about it? You don't have to mention names." Caleb offered. JC looked at Caleb warily. Could he tell this strange guy his problem? Would it hurt any? Even if he went to the press with it, so what? Who would believe him? There were enough fake accounts out there of people having met the guys of Nsync and hanging out with them. This would become one of them. Besides, it couldn't make him feel worse than he already did. "Are you sure you want to hear this?" Caleb just smiled reassuringly. JC took another drink of his second glass of beer. "I think we broke up. Which is funny since we only got together about three days ago." "Wow. So what happened?" "I don't know. Everything was going great one minute and the next minute we were arguing about something that we had already decided on earlier. And now..." JC sighed, realising that he couldn't speak of Justin without using either his name or a pronouns. Both of which would be too risky to be revealed to a stranger. "It's too complicated." "Isn't it always?" Caleb replied and didn't push for more. They shared a comfortable silence before Caleb turned around and looked at the pool table in the corner of the club. "So, do you play pool?" JC turned around to look at the pool table. It seemed strange to him. Yet normal. Almost normal. Straight normal. Like he had just had a fight with his girlfriend instead of his boyfriend and that he was brooding about it over beer and now shooting pool with a guy pal to calm down. But this wasn't normal. He didn't just have a fight. He broke up with Justin. And the guy pal wasn't any of his best friends. No Chris, Joey or Lance. Strange. JC stood up and headed over to grab a cue stick. Caleb followed him, but not before telling the bar-tender to keep the drinks coming. ** tbc.....