Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 18:12:09 EDT From: MATRIX3311@aol.com Subject: Crash with fame 7 Legal Formalities-Do not read this story if you are below the age of 18 or offended by m/m relationships. Also I have no idea about the sexuality about any members of the Backstreet Boys and this is purely fantasy, not meant to imply anything about their sexuality. I know that it is long awaited and the time is finally here. As always if you have any questions or comments e-mail me at matrix3311@aol.com, ICQ me at 33110864, or YAHOO PAGE me at matrix3311. I hope you like it sorry it took so long. Now on for the story. Crash with Fame-7 Written by Neo I am writing this chapter after a great loss in my life. I know that this is not up to my usual standards but I needed to releave some of the stress that I have and I do that through typing. So please enjoy this chapter. "Cheer up, you are going home now," my mother said to me. I ignored her and continued to look out the window. Howie's house was almost completely out of view when suddenly I saw Kevin's car pass us in the opposite direction. I sunk down in my seat trying to hide myself from view. I was just sitting up as I saw Kevin's car racing around the corner. He was speeding but there were not that many people on the road. I pushed myself even lower in my seat which was hard to do with the cast on. I made sure that I was still able to see the car from the side view mirror. They started to try to pass us but my mother blocked them every time. This came of cat and mouse went on for another couple of minutes until Kevin found an opening and started to go next to us. I got as low in my seat as I could when I felt the car sharply cut into their path sending them out of control. I saw Kevin lose control as his car headed for the side of the road. I sat up just as it started to go off. They went into a ditch and came out of it rolling onto their side. Mother was starting to slow down but started back up again when the doors opened. I looked out the mirror and saw Nick, Kevin, AJ, and Brian all standing there but no Howie when the car burst into flames sending the guys running. "Noooooooo!" I screamed bolting up. I did not know where I was or what happened. I felt extremely weird and disoriented. I heard faint sounds in the background but nothing else. The room was dark except for a crack of light from under the door. I started to get out of bed when I felt something keeping me down. My waist was strapped to the bed. I soon realized that I was in a hospital room. I lay back on the bed and tried to focus my eyes in the dark. I groped the wall behind me for a string to turn the lights on and soon found it. I pulled it and the room was suddenly illuminated. My eyes hurt from the bright change in lighting. I started to look around the room. I saw that I was in a private suite that had a small sitting area blocked off by a half wall. I looked around for a call button and found it on the table next to my bed. I pushed it and almost instantly two nurses and a doctor came barging into the room. One of the nurses headed into the sitting room while the other one followed the doctor over to me. "Glad you finally decided to wake up," the doctor joked to me. I still had no idea what was going on so I just gave him a dumb look. He was about to say something when Howie came running our of the sitting area to my side. The doctor backed away when Howie came up next to me. Howie looked at him for a minute and the doctor soon left with the two nurses. Immediately his lips locked with mine in a deep but one-sided kiss. He soon straightened back up and started to stroke my head. No words were said for the first couple of minutes while we stared at each other. "Baby? Are you okay?" Howie asked. "What happened?" I asked in return. "When you fell out of the tree...do you remember that?" he asked. "Yeah, I think so, I am not sure if it is a dream or not," I said sheepishly. "Well anyway, when you fell out of the tree you hit your head pretty hard. You have been out of it for almost two weeks now," Howie answered. He was smiling at me but I could tell that he was going to cry. I soon saw a tear roll down his cheek. I started to reach up to give him a hug when he threw himself down on me. He buried his head in my shoulder and started to sob. "I was so scared, I did not know what I would have done if..." he continued. "Baby, calm down, I am okay," I said wrapping my arms around him. He continued to sob on my shoulder while I rubbed his back. He finally stopped crying and straightened himself up. He pulled a chair over next to the bed and sat down next to me. He grabbed my hand and laid back in the chair. He was soon sound asleep. I could tell that he had not gotten a lot of sleep. I reached for the string on the light and pulled it. The room was engulfed in darkness and I was soon asleep. I awoke the next morning to the sun streaming into my room. Howie was still sound asleep in the chair next to me and his arm was laying on my bed. I reached down and grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. I then reached for the call button for the nurse and pressed it. Soon a lady in a white gown came into the room carrying a tray. She set the tray down on the little sliding table and started to check my vital signs. She was soon done and pushed the food up to me. I lifted the cover off of it and looked down at a plate of eggs and toast with a small glass of milk. I started to eat the eggs but they tasted like all hospital food does, like rubber. I drank the glass of milk and pushed the tray away. I then laid back in the bed thinking about everything that had seemed so real. Everything was going so slow. I tried to watch TV but nothing seemed appealing. I just wanted out of there and to go home, with Howie. I was dozing in and out of sleep when the doctor came in. "Good morning," he said to me. I mumbled a greeting. "Feeling all right today?" "I guess so," I said melancholy. Howie was still sound asleep in the chair. "Your friend over there has not slept in two weeks," the doctor said motioning to Howie. "When can I get out of here?" I asked him bluntly. "Well, that all depends on how everything goes today, we are going to have to perform a few tests and if they all come out okay you can go home tomorrow," he said. I laid back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. The doctor took my vitals just as the nurse did and soon left the room. I went back to the TV and started to flip channels. I stopped on E! When the host mentioned something about a "Backstreet Boy scandal" then went to a commercial break. When the show came back on I listened intently. "Wow, do we have a piece of gossip for you today," the blonde hair announcer said rapidly. "This man has been seen on a daily basis entering and exiting the Dorough residents. No one has been able to ask Mr. Dorough or the unknown man about why he is always there. We also know that for the last two weeks Mr. Dorough has been staying over night at this downtown hospital where the masked man is staying after an accident." The reporter continued. My jaw had dropped to my knees. I reached over and shook Howie vigorously. "Baby, wake up, you have to see this," I said as Howie was waking up. "What is it?" he asked alarmed. "On the TV," I said gesturing to the television. "Nobody has given any information as to why this stranger has been seen with Mr. Dorough so much, but we also have photographs of the young man staying at the same hotel and leaving at the same time as the Backstreet Boys..." she continued. Howie snatched the remote control out of my hand and shut the TV off. There was an uneasy silence in the room. "Don't worry about it baby," Howie said unenthusiastically. "What is going to happen?" I asked him. "Don't worry about it, no one ever pays attention to those things anyway," he said forcing a smile. I could tell the he was trying to convince himself more than me so I just let it go. He leaned down and gave me a kiss. He had just broke it as the doctor came into the room. Howie tried to look like he had not been doing anything but it just made him seem guiltier. "Chris, we are going to take you for a CATSCAN now," the doctor said to me. "The test after it is going to require a sedative so we are going to give it to you know and you will be asleep before the scan," he finished. I looked at Howie and he just smiled down at me. I nodded in agreement and the doctor took a needle from a tray he was carrying and stuck it in my IV line. It was a strong sedative and I soon felt it taking effect. I took one last look at Howie before I was out again. I do not remember anything else that happened until long after all my tests were over. I awoke just as it was getting dark. I looked around the room and saw five heads over the wall in the sitting area. I could not make out any forms and everything was till very blurry. I could not sit up because the room was spinning. I flopped back on the bed and shut my eyes. I waited until the room stopped spinning and slowly opened my eyes. I saw Howie standing over me once again. The guys were standing behind him. I still felt disoriented but the room was not spinning anymore. "Good morning," Howie said jokingly. I just smiled up at him. He started to sit down in the chair next to me but I stopped him and slid over on the bed. I motioned for him to sit down. Howie looked at Kevin awkwardly and Kevin just nodded his head. Howie laid down on the bed next to me and put his arm around my back and started to stroke my side. I rested my head on his shoulder as Brian went over to the door. "Kevin was telling me that management is not worried about the new report," Howie told me. Nick was going to say something but was stopped by Kevin giving him a sharp blow to the side. I knew what that was about but did not press the issue. "When can I get out of here?" I asked Howie. "I don't know, I have not seen the doctor since this morning," he replied. "I'll go get him," Nick said stepping towards the door. Howie started to get out of the bed but I grabbed his shirt. He looked down at me and gave me an apologetic look. I let him go and he sat down in the chair next to me. Kevin and Brian both pulled up a chair and sat down next to me. We sat there in silence for a minute. Kevin was about to say something when someone came barging in the room. Everyone turned expecting to see Nick, but instead we saw a man with a camera taking pictures. There was a smaller man behind him writing down something in a steno book. Kevin jumped up and started for the men. They just pushed past him and over to me in the bed. They started to speak loudly and swiftly that it was making the room start to spin again. I slammed my eyes shut and did not open them until they stopped talking. I slowly opened my eyes to see two uniformed security guards escorting them out of the room. Kevin was pulling something out of his hand and it was trailing down to the floor. It looked like a roll of film. Nick soon came in the room followed by the doctor. Nick had stepped to the side and the doctor kept coming towards me reading my chart. He was about to say something when Howie jumped out of his chair. "How the hell did those reporters get in here?" Howie yelled at him. "I don't know," the doctor said modestly. "Well this is a private room and Chris does not need to be hounded by reporters. If it happens again..." Howie lowered his voice and I could not hear what was said. The doctor pushed past Howie and to me. "When can I go home?" I asked "Well, all of your tests have come out okay, so you can go home tomorrow if there will be someone to be there with you day and night for about a week," the doctor told me. I looked at Howie and he smiled at me. "It will be taken care of," I said harshly. I knew that I was still under the effect of the sedative and that it was still in my system but I was fighting it off with all that I could. The doctor soon left and Howie laid back in the bed next to me. I felt the room start to spin again and shut my eyes. That was the last thing that I remebered. I awoke the next morning to find Howie was sound asleep in the bed with his arm wrapped around my back. I tried to push him off of me so that I could sit up but it would not work so I had to wake him up. I wondered how he got the doctor to let him stay there. "Hey," he said giving me a kiss. I kissed him back and started to sit up. He pushed me back down and placed his hand firmly on my chest. "Don't get up, just lay there," he continued. "Baby, I HAVE to get up," I told him, emphasizing on the have. He realized what I meant and let me get up. I soon came out of the bathroom and laid back down on the bed. Howie had gotten up and was sitting in the chair next to my bed. Howie had his arm resting on the side of my bed and his head resting on his hand. He just kept staring at me. "What?" I asked him. "Nothing, it is just I am so glad that you are here, I was so worried." He said, I could tell that he was holding back tears so I started to stroke his head. He finally broke down and started to sob. I took him in my arms as best as I could from the position that he was in and laid his head on my shoulder. He cried for what seemed like hours. It made me realize just how deep Howie's feelings for me are. He had just stopped crying when the doctor came in. "Well, I guess that this is check-out time...If you will just sign these release forms you can be on your way," the doctor said cheerily. This news immediately brightened Howie up. He was smiling from ear to ear as I was signing the papers on the clipboard. The doctor rambled on for a few more minutes then left. Howie ran over to a small closet like thing and pulled out an overnight bag. He threw some clothes at me and told me to get dressed. I did as I was told and in a few minutes we were heading out of the hospital. Everything seemed weird and unfamiliar at first and it was kind of creepy. I was feeling exceptionally well and had no serious injuries, so when Howie started to head home I stopped him. "What?" he asked. "Let's go spend time with the guys or something," I suggested. "Are you sure that you are up to it?" he asked me. "YES, I am fine," I said eagerly. Howie shrugged his shoulders and changed direction so that we were heading towards the guy's apartment building. It was a short trip from the hospital and we got there quickly. We headed for the elevator and to the floor that the guys occupied. The elevator doors were just opening as Nick and Brian was heading into Kevin's apartment. We tried to stop them but could not get out of the elevator in time. We headed for Kevin's door and Howie just pushed it open. We stepped in and saw Nick, Brian, and Kevin busy in the kitchen cooking breakfast. "What we were not invited?" I asked out loud. They instantly stopped what they were doing and ran into the living room. I got a hug from each one of the except for AJ. We all sat down for a minute and made brief small talk before I asked where AJ was. "I guess that he is still asleep, he went out clubbing last night so he is probably still passed out," Brain said. "Yeah, but somebody should go wake him up," Kevin intervened. "I'll do it," I said just wanting to get up and move around. Howie threw me his keys. "AJ's is the one with the A carved in it," he said as I headed out the door. I went next door and inserted the key in the deadbolt lock and turned it. I then proceeded to push the door open. I was met with total darkness. The blinds were all shut and not a single light was on in the entire place. I looked around for AJ but did not see him. I headed over to the window and opened the blinds. Sunlight streamed into the room. I then walked down the short hallway and peeked in the master bedroom. It was just as dark in there so I opened the blinds. I once again did not see AJ. I was heading out the door to check the other bedroom when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. There was light coming from under the bathroom door. I slowly crept over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "AJ?" I asked as I knocked. I got no answer so I knocked harder. "AJ?" this time I yelled it. Still no answer. I put my ear to the door to listen for running water but there was none. I grabbed the door handle and started to turn it but it was locked. I listened to the door again I did not hear running water but I did hear something. I am not sure what it was but I knew that it was not good. I was starting to get worried and I had no idea what to do. I went over to the phone and dialed Howie's cell phone. It was picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" Howie asked. "Howie?" I asked. "Yeah, who is this?" he answered. "Don't make a scene or say my name but this is Chris, find some way to excuse yourself and get over to AJ's apartment. I think that there is something wrong with him," I told him with a hint of urgency in my voice. "Ok," he replied and hung up the phone. I did the same and walked to the front door and unlocked it. I was just heading to the bedroom when Howie burst in the door. "Chris?" he said. "Howie, AJ is locked in the bathroom and there is something wrong. He will not answer me and when I came in here this place looked like a morgue. There were no lights and the entire apartment was pitch black." I explained. Howie practically ran to the master bedroom. I saw him put his ear to the door and listen intently for a minute. His eyebrows just kept getting lower and lower. He stepped back and looked at the door. Without word he ran past me and into the kitchen. He returned with a butter knife and began to pull the pins out of the hinges. It seemed as if they had done this before. Once all the hinges were out he grabbed the door handle and yanked the door out of the frame. I heard a slight splintering of wood then hear a tremendous crash as Howie let go of the door. We both ran into the bathroom to see AJ curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth crying. His face was all red and puffy and he just kept rocking back and forth. "AJ!" Howie yelled. He just kept rocking back and forth and staring straight ahead with tears running down his face. Howie sank down next to him and put his arm around his back. He slowly started to rub his back. AJ finally seemed to notice that we were there. "AJ, what is wrong?" Howie asked quietly. "He...last night...dead..." AJ stuttered out. Howie and I both looked at each other. "AJ, calm down, what is wrong?" Howie asked. "Last night...driving...dead..." AJ answered. "AJ..." Howie started. "Don't bother, we have to get him calmed down before we ask him," I told Howie. He nodded at me and I sat down on the other side of AJ. I did the same as Howie and soon AJ's crying was slowing down a little. I stood up and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Howie asked. "To get the guys, they are probably wondering where the hell we are at," I told him. I headed over to Kevin's apartment and walked right in. The guys were sitting in the living room drinking a cup of coffee. "There you are, we were about to send a search party for you," Brian joked. "Guys, there is something wrong with AJ." I told them. They practically dropped their coffee and ran out the door and into AJ's apartment. I followed after them and we were all standing in the doorway to AJ's bathroom. The guys turned to me. "What happened?" Kevin asked me. "I don't know, when I got here everything was dark and AJ was locked in the bathroom. I called Howie and told him to get over here and he tore down the door and we found AJ in here like this," I told them. Kevin headed into the bathroom and sat down next to AJ where I was sitting a minute ago. He said something to Howie and they both stood up. They gently pulled AJ to his feet and out of the bathroom. I looked at Brian and he was completely pale. I looked to where he was looking and saw that the entire wall AJ was laying on was covered in blood. "Howie, Kevin, stop. AJ is bleeding." I said to them. AJ was still in a trance but Howie and Kevin instantly stopped. I walked over to them and pulled up AJ's shirt. There was a cut from one side of his lower back to the other. Brian looked as if he was going to pass out. "Get him to Kevin's apartment and lay him down on the couch," I instructed them. Howie picked him up under his knees and under his arms and gently carried him over to Kevin's apartment. Once there Howie laid him down on his stomach. "Now, go get all the gauze and gauze tape that you can find," I said out loud. Brian ran into the bathroom and soon emerged with three boxes of gauze and a roll of tape in one hand and Iodine in the other. I pulled AJ's shirt up again and started to look at his back. It looked as if a piece of metal slapped him across his back. The cut was not that deep and it looked as if it stopped bleeding a while ago so it was not that serious. I took the iodine from Brian and squeezed some out along AJ's cut. He seemed to have flinched a little, which was a good sign. I then took the gauze and laid them out across the cut. It took six entire packages to cover the entire thing. I tapped them down and started to look for any other cuts. There were a few little cuts but nothing to worry about. I stood up and turned to face the guys. They were all white. "He is going to be fine," I told them. "The cut was not deep and it looked as if it stopped bleeding quite some time ago." They all looked relived. "Now I want to know what the hell happened last night," I said to them. "Once you fell asleep at the hospital we all headed home. Nick, Brian, and AJ went out clubbing." Kevin started in. "We lost track of AJ about midnight and when we left at one his car was gone. We figured that he went home, but when we got here his car was not here." Brian interrupted. "So we figured that he went to a different club," Nick finished. "Is that it?" I asked them. "Up until you found him this morning," Brian told me. I just starred at AJ. I was starting to feel weak and tired. I think Howie noticed this because he put his arm around my back and lead me to one of the chairs. I sat down and the room started to spin. I slammed my eyes shut until I felt as if I could open them again. I slowly opened them and the room stopped spinning. Howie had pulled a chair over to me and had a hold of my hand. Kevin was sitting at the kitchen table as were Brian and Nick. I looked over at AJ and noticed that he was sleeping. I could see the rise and fall of his back Time drug on, minutes seemed like hours, no one spoke we just sat there waiting. "We were coming back from the club last night," a voice started. Everyone jumped and noticed that AJ was in a semi-sitting position. We all headed over to him. Kevin sat down next to him and put his arm around his shoulder and held him close. "The car came out from nowhere," AJ continued. He was starting to cry. "I tried to swerve out of the way, but the car smashed right into the side of us. I got out okay, but Jake..." was all AJ could get out. He started to sob all over again. Kevin was gently rubbing his back. I looked over at Howie. "Who is Jake?" I asked quietly. He shrugged his shoulders and had a puzzled look. In fact, everyone had a puzzled look except for Kevin. "Jake was AJ's..." Kevin trailed off. AJ looked up at him and had a puzzled look too. "You knew?" AJ asked in between tears. Kevin just nodded his head. AJ started to cry even harder. Kevin got him up and walked him into the spare bedroom. We all gave each other puzzled looks. None of us had any idea what was going on. Kevin soon emerged from the bedroom. "AJ, is asleep," Kevin announced. "Who the hell is Jake?" Brian demanded. Kevin stared at all of us then let out a sigh. "Jake is...was AJ's boyfriend," Kevin said slowly. Everyone's jaw dropped. This new caused everyone to get dumber looks on their faces than before. "Now, seeing as it is 8:00 I am going to get something to eat and go to bed." Kevin announced. "Why didn't he tell us?" Nick asked. "He was afraid. He was afraid that we would think less of him," Kevin said busying himself in the kitchen. "But, Howie, Nick and myself..." Brian started. "He was afraid that we would think less of him because of his personality, he always flirted and took women "home" etc." Kevin answered. No one seemed to have anymore questions. We all stood there for a minute. I do not think that anyone could move if they had to. Finally Brian stormed out of the room. Nick followed after him and Howie did too. So I followed after Howie. Nick ran into his and Brian's apartment and Howie ran down the stairs. I followed after Howie. We practically ran down the steps and out the door. Howie jumped in the car and started the engine before I could even catch up to him. I was just getting to the passenger side door when he sped out of the parking lot leaving me behind. I stood there dumbfounded for a minute before I got my bearings and headed back into the building. I rode the elevator up to the guy's floor and stepped out. I knocked on Kevin's door and he quickly answered it. "Hi," I said quietly. "Chris?" Kevin asked. "Howie left me behind, he sped out of here and never gave me a chance to get in the car," I said calmly. Kevin ushered me in the room and I sat down on the couch. He did not say anything but went into his bedroom and came out with a pillow and a blanket. I took them and laid out on the couch. I was soon sound asleep. I was suddenly awoken by the sound of a ringing telephone. I got up and went into the kitchen. I looked at the clock on the microwave and it said 3:30am. I quickly picked up the phone. "Hello?" I asked. "Um, yes, is Kevin home?" a strange voice asked. "Yeah, give me a minute, he is asleep," I said setting down the phone. I walked down the hall to Kevin's room and pushed open the door. I started to gently shake Kevin. "What?" he asked groggily. "Kevin, someone is on the phone for you," I told him. "What time is it?" he asked. "3:30 in the morning, expecting someone?" I asked him. He slowly got out of bed and headed into the kitchen. "Hello?" he asked into the phone. I only heard on side of the conversation. "Yes, Yes, Okay, I will be right there," and he hung up the phone. "What was that?" I asked him. "Howie is passed out at some bar," Kevin said sighing. He headed into the bedroom and quickly emerged fully dressed. It shocked me how fast the guy could change clothes. He grabbed his keys and headed out the door. I was right behind him. He pounded on Brian and Nick's door and Brian quickly opened it. "What?" "Stay with AJ, we have to go pick Howie up," Kevin told him. Brian nodded his head and ran across the hall to Kevin's apartment. We got into the elevator and Kevin finally stopped. "Do this often?" I asked him. "Yeah, but it is usually with AJ," he said. The elevator stopped on the ground floor and we got out. Kevin headed to his car and I followed him. We both got in and headed for whatever bar Howie was at. It seemed like we entered the twilight zone. The side of town that Howie was at did not seem friendly at all. Kevin pulled up to this little dilapidated building and parked the car. The bartender was waiting at the door for us. "He is in the back corner. I tried to wake him up but he is out cold," the bartender said. "Thanks, will you watch the car, we will go get him," Kevin told her. She nodded her head and stayed at the door. The inside of the bar was just like the outside. Dirty and dark. We saw Howie laying face first on the table. Kevin walked over to him and picked up the glass that was on the table. He sniffed it and rolled his eyes. I was standing next to Howie while Kevin went over to the bar. He walked behind it and grabbed an empty pitcher. He filled it with water and walked back over to the table Howie was at. He turned the pitcher upside down and its contents dumped all over Howie. Howie sat straight up. "Come on Howie, it is time to leave," Kevin told him. "Time to leave, the party is just beginning," he said. He was plastered. I knew that he would be paying for it in the morning. "Come on Howie, the lady is trying to close up to go home," I told him. "Naw...she can wait, I am having a good time," he said. He still refused to even stand if he could at all. "Howie, get up now, we have to go home," I said sternly. "Fuck you Chris, oh, wait, that's right, you never want to, the only time was on the beach...whoodedoo," Howie said sarcastically. I turned beet red. I knew that it was the alcohol but it still hurt. "Howie, get up now!" Kevin yelled at him. "Why should I?" he asked. His whole body was swaying back and forth. "Howie, baby, come on, get up, we have to go home." I pleaded. "Why, so you can say no to me again? I thought that you were going to be an easy fuck, guess that you proved me wrong...huh?" Howie smiled at me. "Howie, get your drunk ass up now," Kevin yelled at him pulling on his arm. I grabbed the other arm and we pulled him to his feet. He tried to sit back down but we held him up. We started to walk him to the car when he suddenly stopped and became dead weight. This threw Kevin and I off balance and all three of us toppled to the ground. I was just getting up when Howie grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. "Give me a kiss," he said pulling me closer to him. His breath was bad enough to kill a horse. "Howie, let go of me and get up," I yelled at him. "Nope." He said. Kevin grabbed Howie's arm and pulled it off of mine. I scrambled to my feet and pulled Howie to his. Together Kevin and I pulled him to the car and the bartender opened the back door. We set him in and almost instantly he passed out again. "Thanks Sarah, can you take his car home?" Kevin asked the bartender throwing her Howie's keys. "Sure thing, thanks for getting him out of here," Sarah said. I got in the car and so did Kevin. "Wow, I guess that you do go through this often," I said. "Not as much as before, but Sarah is understanding, it used to be on a weekly basis," Kevin said as we were heading down the street. "Come on back to our place," I told him. He nodded and headed for our house. I was surprised at how close to our house this bar was. We soon pulled into the driveway and Kevin opened the gates. He pulled up to the house and we pulled Howie out of the backseat. It was hell getting him up the few front steps but we managed. I opened the front door and we walked in. Kevin wanted to take him upstairs but I told him to just put him on the couch. We set him on the couch and Kevin took off his shoes. "Don't bother going home now," I told him. Kevin nodded and followed me upstairs. I set the alarm and headed into the master bedroom. Kevin headed into one of the other bedrooms and shut the door. I undressed for bed and pulled down the blanket. I slowly got in and laid there staring at myself on the ceiling. Howie's words still repeated themselves in my head. Every time I heard them it made me feel worse and worse. I ended up crying myself to sleep. I awoke late that morning. I glanced at the clock and it said 12:30. I heard noises downstairs so I got dressed and headed down. I walked into the kitchen and Kevin was making breakfast. Howie was emptying the last of a pot of coffee into his mug. "You did not have to make breakfast," I told him. "I know, but I felt like doing it, besides Nick. Brian and AJ are on their way over. "How is AJ doing?" I asked. "A hell of a lot better than Howie," Kevin answered. I turned to look at Howie and he looked like shit. His hair was all over the place and he reeked of alcohol. His clothes were all wrinkled and his eyes were bloodshot. "Go up and take a shower," I told him. "I was just going to," he said as he walked past me. Once he was out of earshot I turned to Kevin. "Does he know what he said last night?" I asked Kevin. "Yeah, I had a talk with him this morning about what happened last night," Kevin answered. "He does not seem to remorseful," I said to him. "I know, I think that you guys are going to need to have a long talk," Kevin said emphasizing on the long. "Once his hangover from hell goes away," I told him. "I think that you two should talk as soon as you can," he said hinting for me to go upstairs. I took the hint and headed upstairs. Howie was in the bedroom sprawled out on the bed crying. "Howie?" I asked quietly. "Chris, I am so sorry," he answered. I walked over to him and pulled him up to a sitting position. "Baby, I know, you were drunk and something obviously pissed you off," I said quietly. "No, I am sorry because I think I meant it," he said bluntly. This caught me totally off guard. "What the hell do you mean. You think you meant it?" I snapped. "I think, well, I am not sure that I am actually in love with you," he answered. "What made all this come up now?" I asked calmly. "I don't know, it is just all that has been happening," he answered crying. "I am so glad that you flew me across the country just to tell me that all you wanted was a one night stand," I said sarcastically. "No, that is not it, I mean, I love you, but I am just so confused now," he cried. I could not take it any more so I snapped. "You know what Howard Dorough. I totally upturned my life to be with you. I got my own mother arrested. I flew across the country, I gave my virginity to you, and all you wanted was a quick fling? I would have been better off homeless in New York." I screamed at him. He just stared at me. I jumped off of the bed and walked out the door. I headed downstairs and into the kitchen. I threw open the fridges door causing Kevin to jump. I took every can of beer out and opened them all then I dumped them down the sink. I then flew to the stairs and continued down them. I went to the bar and pushed it down. Barely and bottles in it broke and that caused me to get pissed off even more. I started to chuck the bottles at the wall. I knew that they would break. With every bottle that I threw I was getting madder and madder. Kevin came down the stairs and tried to stop me. I just kept getting madder and madder. Kevin grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me to the ground. I stared up at him and started to cry. "Chris, what is wrong?" Kevin asked me. "He said that he meant everything he said," I cried. Kevin sank to the ground and wrapped his arm around me. "He said that he did not love me," I continued. "Chris calm down," Kevin urged. But I could not, I just kept crying. At some point the guys joined us down there. Kevin stood up and faced them. "What happened?" Nick asked. "Chris and Howie had a fight," Kevin answered. "He said that he did not love me, he said that he wanted me for an easy fuck," I sobbed. They guys did not say anything but I could tell that they were genuinely concerned. I heard someone run up the stairs but I could not see anything. I felt another set of arms try to pull me to my feet. I let it and I felt myself being lead up the stairs. I was set down on the couch and a set of hands was still holding me. I was still crying. I really loved Howie and I thought that he loved me. I did not know what was going on anymore and I was scared. I was wondering if maybe I should have listened to my mother. I felt a second set of hands replace the first set and I slowly opened my eyes. I looked around and saw Howie holding me. I tried to move away but I was pretty well trapped. "Chris, I am sorry, I thought that I meant it, but AJ made me realize just how much I loved you," he started. I did not say anything. "I know that you are mad at me, but I am so sorry, I was mad at AJ because, well because, I had wanted him ever since we first met, and he made it clear that he was straight, then when I found out that he was gay it made me mad. I took it out on you and thought that I knew what I was talking about but I did not, Chris, you are the only one for me, and if I lost you I don't know what I would do. I could have killed myself for what I said to you. I understand if you want to leave, but I do not want you to," Howie cried. I looked at him. There was something in the way he said it and in his eyes that made me feel he was sincere. I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. He buried his head in my shoulder and kept on crying. That is when I noticed that AJ was crying too. Kevin was trying to keep AJ calm and I was trying to calm Howie down. That day we all spent at our house. Nick and Brian spent most of the day cleaning up the basement. Kevin tried his damnedest to keep AJ calm, which was not an easy thing to do. Howie and I pretty much talked all day long. We worked things out and everything went smoothly once again. AJ finally got the entire story out. Him and Jake were coming back from the club heading to AJ's apartment when a car came out of nowhere and smashed into them. AJ only had the cut on his back but the car smashed right into Jake's side of the car. Jake died instantly. The police brought AJ home and they had no idea that he was injured. He locked himself in the bathroom where we found him. The funeral was going to be in three days and AJ would not even be able to speak at it without giving away his relationship. That is why AJ was so distraught. The rest of the week went like that, until Thursday when the funeral came. We all went but sat in the back. AJ was trying not to cry but the tears won. I felt extremely bad for him and it caused me to start crying too. It was a quiet service and it was soon over. AJ went out to his car and got in back. He started to bawl once the door shut. Nobody knew what to do or say. It was a very weird time. The funeral procession headed to the cemetery. For some reason I glanced at my watch. It was Thursday August 19th. It suddenly clicked that today was my twentieth birthday. Everything had been so weird that I had totally forgotten about it. I did not say anything however. After the funeral we all went our separate ways. Howie and I went home. Kevin, Nick, Brian, and AJ all went back to their apartments. It was a cold rainy day and nobody felt all that right doing anything. I went downstairs and started to do a light workout. I was feeling really weird and lost track of all time. My muscles were extremely sore when Howie came downstairs. "Chris?" he asked. "Hey," I said as I was wiping the sweat off of the bench. "What's wrong? You seem depressed today," he said quietly sitting down on the bench and pulling me down on top of him. "I guess that it is just the funeral and everything," I lied. "Cheer up, AJ is going to be okay, besides dinner is ready," he said giving me a kiss on the lips. I stood up and we walked hand in hand to the dining room. Dinner was set out on our plates and we quickly ate. We then went into the living room. Howie turned on the TV and popped a video in the VCR. We laid down on the floor and started to watch whatever movie it was. I laid my head down on Howie's chest and was asleep before the previews ended. I awoke the next morning still laying on Howie's chest and still laying on the floor. I got up and went into the kitchen. I took last nights dishes out of the dishwasher and put a pot of coffee on. I was sore as hell. I walked over to the phone and dialed Kevin's number. "Hello?" Kevin answered. "Kevin, this is Chris, in about an hour I need you to come over and pick Howie up. Take him to a movie or something-just get him out of here. Also tell Nick, Brian, and AJ to come over here in an hour and a half. I am planning a party for Howie's birthday and I need help. Okay?" I said swiftly afraid that Howie was going to wake up. "Okay, I will, good luck, no one has been able to surprise Howie yet," Kevin chuckled hanging up the phone. I walked back into the living room and sat down next to Howie. I gave him a deep kiss on his lips and he slowly woke up. "Hey," he said sitting up. "Hey, Kevin is going to be over in about an hour, something about he needs to show you something or tell you something, I am not sure, but get up and get dressed." I urged. Howie jumped to his feet and ran upstairs. I went back to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee. I sat down in the living room thinking about what I should do for Howie's party. Howie soon came back downstairs his hair was still wet but he was fully dressed. He sat down next to me. "I love you," he whispered in my ear. I turned and gave him a deep kiss on his lips. We just broke the kiss as I heard the front door open. Howie turned expecting to see Kevin instead he saw a older woman and an older man standing in the doorway. He pushed me down on the couch and jumped up over it. "Mom, dad!" he yelled. I could not see anything but I had the feeling that they had come at an inopportune time. I heard the voices get lower and lower figuring that they were being ushered into the kitchen. Howie came running into the living room and hurdled over the couch again. "They don't know about us do they?" I asked him. "No, now go outside and ring the front door bell, I am going to introduce you as a friend to them." Howie said running back to the kitchen. I crept to the front door and slowly opened it. I got outside and rang the front door bell. I heard footsteps heading towards it and waited for it to be opened. It slowly opened and I looked inside. Howie's father was standing there. "Hello young man," he said to me. "Hello, is Howie home?" I asked him. "Yes he is, what is this about?" he asked me pleasantly. "Well, um, Howie lets me come over and use his mini-gym downstairs," I told him. He nodded his head and shut the door. I waited for it to be opened again and it soon was this time by Howie. I walked in the door and saw Howie's mom and dad standing next to him. "Hey Howie," I said to him. "Hey Chris, mom, dad, this is Chris, he is a friend of mine and he comes over every now and then to use the gym downstairs," Howie said. I wondered how he knew what I said. I said hello to them and headed downstairs. Howie followed after me. When we got downstairs I turned and looked at Howie. "Wouldn't it be easier to tell them about us?" I asked him. "NO! We can just keep it up like this." He said. "Howie, they brought suitcases. I think that they are going to be here for a while." I said to him. "If they are then you can stay with AJ or Kevin, or Nick and Brian," Howie said to me. "But I want to stay here with you," I pleaded. "They never stay long, they will be here up until Monday, the day after my birthday," Howie explained. "That is four days that I am going to be away from you," I said to him. "Relax, we can figure something out. But for now Kevin is going to be here in a minute so just come back upstairs and say that you are going to go with me and Kevin instead." Howie answered. "That is not going to work because Nick and Brian and AJ are going to be here in an hour and a half to pick me up," I said to him. "Then wait outside of the gate or Kevin can drop you off at their place and everything can be alright," Howie said. "Why don't you take your parents with you and Kevin?" I asked him. "That could work, look just stay down here and everything should be okay," he said kissing me on the forehead then running up the stairs. I waited down there and soon heard the door open. Kevin walked in and was soon pushed back out by a stressed Howie. I heard the door shut then I heard total silence. I headed up the stairs and slowly looked around. I did not see anybody there so I sat down in the living room sighing. Nick, Brian, and AJ soon pulled up and walked into the house. "Who's car is that outside?" Nick asked. "Howie's parents, who do not know that Howie and I are a couple, it has been an interesting morning," I said to him. All three of them seemed to get a kick out of the situation. "Sounds like fun," they said in unison. "Fuck you, well I do not know how long Kevin is going to keep Howie away so we need to get down to work." I instructed. We made a long list of things for Howie's birthday party. We were just finishing as Kevin pulled into the driveway. "By the way, I am moving in with you AJ for the next four days," I said as the door was opening. AJ had no time to object because everyone was walking in the door. "Chris, you are still here..." Howie said with a hint of urgency in his voice. "Well, just as I was leaving the guys came over to see you and you were not home. We got to talking and time just flew by," I explained to him. "Yeah, we were just going to give him a ride home," AJ answered. "Cool, well see you later Chris," Howie said as I was heading out the door. We walked to the guy's car. Once we were in I let out a sigh of relief. "I don't see why he could not just tell his parents the truth," I said out loud. "Hey, there has been a lot of that going on lately," Brian said sharply. I looked at Nick but Nick shook his head. I realized that he was talking about AJ. I rolled my eyes and sank back in my seat. I did not know what I was going to do about not being able to see Howie for four days. We soon pulled up to the guy's apartment building and got out of the car. We got to their floor and got out. I followed AJ to his apartment and followed him in. It was no longer dark in the place and that made me feel a little better. He showed me to the extra room and I went in. I laid down on the bed and was soon sound asleep. I did not realize that I had fallen asleep until I awoke the next morning to a pounding on the door. I got up and headed into the living room. I slowly opened the door and peaked out it. I saw Howie standing there. I threw open the door and Howie instantly greeted me in a hug. "Baby, I can't stand to be away from you," he said to me. "I can't either," I told him kissing him on the lips. "I am taking you home right now and I am going to tell my parents about me and about us," he said. "I thought that you already told them that you were gay," I said. "I know, I was going to, I wanted to, but I couldn't. I figured if you thought that my parents knew about me then it might make you feel better," Howie explained. I shrugged it off and followed him out the door. We ran down the stairs and into the car. Howie drove home and we got out of the car. When we got home Howie opened the door and we saw his parents sitting in the living room. "Howie, where did you go?" his mom asked. "Mom, dad, I have something that I need to tell you," he started. "What?" they asked in unison. "Mom dad, I am gay and Chris here is my boyfriend." Howie said bluntly. I saw them both jump to their feet. I saw Howie's father get an evil look in his eyes and come straight to me. I feared for the worst... TO BE CONTINUED... Hey, thought that I was going to end it didn't you. Well a lot of shit had been going down in my life and I really do not want to get into it. Hopefully the next chapter will not take as long. E-mail me at MATRIX3311@AOL.COM or ICQ me @ 33110864.