The Obligatory Stuff...

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having an intimate relationship and is FOR ADULTS ONLY. If you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or it's not true!!! Even if this story involved the Backstreet Boys and N SYNC, all that happens here is fictional... it's not true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but I hope it's true... hehehehe...

Words from the AUTHOR...

Hey guys.. and gals too!

This is my first ever celebrity story. I still write fiction but in another genre [--> plug: The New Things, Exchange of Hearts (Nifty-highschool)]. This is my first attempt to construct a story out of real people so bear with me. Sorry for the grammar errors and/or spelling errors because English is not my first tongue and I'm doing this very late at night.

Thank you for the loads of emails that I received from previous chapters, and hopefully you'll like this very special one. ALL emails that I receive are very much appreciated and just gives me the drive to write more of my stuff here in Nifty, and hopefully my site... but it's still under construction.

This is the CHRISTMAS CHAPTER of Crossed Paths and it's an extra special chapter. I really hope that everyone likes this one because I love this chapter and actually shed some tears as I reread the whole thing. This is quite long and hopefully not that boring.

Thanks to all who helped me with the lyrics of some of the songs here.

Comments and suggestions are not just welcomed, but ENCOURAGED!!! Drop me a note or something... please I beg of you (pretty pathetic, huh?). Email me your comments and suggestions in this NEW email...


Crossed Paths
Christmas in the Air

Justin's eyes shot open from his deep slumber. 'Again' was the only thought that came in his mind, he just had the same nightmare again. It has been one month since his nightmares started... just after the dreaded night of the Europe Music Awards. It's always the same scene, Brian realizing that he's the object of affection of Justin, and then he walks out saying nothing. In Justin's mind, there's only one reasonable explanation... Brian hates him. Every time Justin has this thought, tears quickly escapes his eyes due to the pain of being rejected by the person you love.

For the past month, the other N'SYNC members couldn't determine what's wrong with Justin. They really didn't know what's going on in Justin's mind; even JC is very much confused with the latest events that are happening with Justin. All Justin's charms were gone. The happy Justin everyone knew was gone but somehow replaced by this depressed Justin.

"JC, you are Justin's closest friend among all of us, you think you can flush the problem out of him?" Chris said as he sat at the sofa in the Timberlake household. Everyone looked at JC, waiting for his reply.

"I don't know. Justin really needs time to sort things out in his mind, and I don't want to pressure him or something." JC said as his head hung low. 'How long can I keep this lie?' JC thought. In JC's mind, it's his entire fault. JC remembered how he reacted when Justin told his secret in Stockholm. He remembered how he walked out of Justin's room. He remembered not sticking with his best friend... his love one.

"JC, for God's sake! It's been a month already. Good thing he's a professional in this business or we really could get hell with the media." Lance said. Indeed, Justin was a professional entertainer. He didn't let his dilemmas interfere in his career. Once he's out there with his fans, his happy self was back but once he reaches the dressing room, he'll just slump down to the sofa and cry.

"I'll see what I can do." JC said in defeat. JC walked up the stairs towards Justin's room thinking of how he could apologize again to Justin. JC knocked at the door, but there was no answer but silence. JC slowly opened the door and saw a sleeping Justin on bed. JC approached Justin and saw the angelic features in his face. The face that could bring JC to cloud nine... the face he truly loves.

The tearstains were pretty much obvious, and JC saw it. JC eyes began to water, feeling the guilt slowly eating him, especially when he saw Justin in this depressed state. JC quickly wiped the tears away and started to march out of the room when he saw a small piece of paper by the bed. The small paper was already crumpled and when he examined it, he knew what it was... it's Brian's number that he gave to Justin in the lobby of the hotel a month ago.

JC's mind began to work and did the most desperate act he could think of, call Brian and ask for his help in cheering up Justin. JC hid his despise towards Brian inside his mind in order to give Justin the happiness he truly deserved. JC opened the door and a blond woman stopped him on his tracks, Britney Spears.

With the amazing success of "Black and Blue", the Backstreet Boys were granted their holidays off. The five of them split up to visit their families and celebrate Christmas with them.

In an old house in Kentucky, a family was gathered to celebrate the much-awaited holiday of the year. All of them were present and were happy... almost all of them. Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys was still coping up with the thoughts that bothered him for the past weeks regarding Justin's confession.

"Brian, hon? Your parents said its time for dinner. Come on." A bitchy woman said to Brian. Brian's reverie was interrupted and a scowl traced his face as he stared coldly at the woman.

"Don't call me hon, Leighanne. The divorce papers will soon be finished and we are just doing this for my parents' sake, nothing else." Brian said with no emotions. Leighanne's hopes of rekindling their relationship again slumped down. Well, it was her fault that their relationship crumbled.

The two walked towards the dining room where they were met by three pairs of eyes. All were already seated in their respective places just waiting for the married couple to settle down. The two sat down and gave everyone a show of their affection.

"Brian, do you want to say the prayers?" Harold, Brian's father said. Brian nodded and bowed his head.

"Father in heaven, thank you for this wonderful evening that you have given us. Thank you for this wonderful meal, and this wonderful family. Grant them the happiness that they truly deserve. Amen." Brian solemnly prayed. Four 'Amen' followed Brian's lead and they ate heartily the dinner prepared for them.

"Britney? What are you doing here?" JC asked. Britney just smiled and looked in Justin's room. "He's sleeping. Come on! Give him the rest. Again, what are you doing here?" JC said as he pulled Britney from Justin's room.

"Why, can't I visit MY boyfriend?" Britney said as they walked down the flight of stairs.

"No, it's just... it's a surprise seeing you here being December 23 already. I thought you'd spend Christmas with your family. That's all." JC said. Lance and the others were still in the den talking about how they'll celebrate this Christmas.

"I'll be going back to Louisiana tomorrow. I just want to visit my Justin, that's all." Britney said with a giggle thinking of her relationship with Justin.

"Guys, will you make Britney at home while I'll call someone who could probably help Justin?" JC asked the three guys sitting comfortably. The three nodded and JC went to the kitchen to have a little private conversation with his rival, Brian Littrell.

JC's hands were trembling as he reached for the phone by the counter. JC dialed the number written in the little piece of paper and it rang. JC was hesitating if this was the most appropriate solution but the other line already answered.

"Hello?" A male voice answered.

"Um... Is this Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys?" JC asked politely. JC was sweating by the buckets. He really didn't know what to expect from this Backstreet Boy.

"Yeah. Who's this?" Brian answered.

"This is JC Chasez of N'SYNC." JC said shyly and with hesitation.

"Oh." Brian paused for a while wondering why on earth JC would call because the last time they met, JC want him out of his life... and Justin's. "What can I do for you?" Brian still showed the Southern politeness.

"Um... I have a problem actually, and I thought that you could possibly help me... us." JC stuttered.

"What problem?" Brian said as he sat by the fireplace embracing the warmth given off by the fire.

"Justin." JC said plainly. Brian was speechless as thoughts ran through his mind. "Justin is in depression right now and he don't want to open up to anybody. Bri, I'm worried about Justin. He's been having nightmares lately and he kept on saying 'why do you hate me?' while sleeping." JC explained Justin's situation. Brian was being eaten up by guilt slowly as he realized how his simple act caused great harm for Justin.

"What do you think I can do for Justin?" Brian asked nonchalantly, trying to hide the crackling voice that he's having as his eyes began to water and his chest began to tighten.

"Maybe talk to him or something. I saw what happened when you talked to him that night in Stockholm. Let's just say you have a certain effect in him." JC said not knowing that Brian already knew that Justin is in love with him and the last time they had a talk, he left Justin alone.

"I'll call him later, okay? I'll just settle some things so we can have a long talk." Brian said as he hung up the phone. Brian couldn't control the feeling of guilt inside. Tears streaked down his cheeks and he sobbed as he kept on repeating Justin's name.

"Bri, wanna talk about it?" A voice said behind Brian. Brian silenced the sobs he was making and slowly turned his head towards the source of the voice.

"Harold, I can't believe I did that to Justin." Brian said. Harold sat beside Brian by the fire and gave him an embrace.

"Tell me the whole story so I can understand." Harold said. Brian told Harold the story behind Justin. Brian told the events in the party with Justin and Leighanne, in the lobby of the hotel and the events in the Justin's room. Harold and Brian were very close that they could tell each other secrets about themselves without fearing that it will come out or they'll be judged. They shared a bond where they could tell their feelings and just put it out.

"Still trying to escape the past?" Harold said plainly. Brian shot him a stare, but not that cold, just telling that 'you've crossed the line'. "Bri, I know everything about it. You can't escape it... it's YOU. Even if you marry countless women, even if I count Leighanne the bitch, you'll still feel that way and you'll just cause harm to yourself and to others like Justin." Harold said.

"I didn't want to be like this. It's just so hard seeing and feeling the hate in this world." Brian said as tears began to fall again from his eyes and sobs escaped his mouth.

"And what you did is not an act of hate?" Brian's sob ceased and realized the gravity of his actions. "Brian, think about it. What will you feel if your love one did that to you?" Harold said.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I could inflict that much pain." Brian said.

"Bri, there's still time. Fix it." Harold said as he stood up and walked away. Brian remained seated thinking of his next actions. Thoughts battling whether what he was thinking was the best solution. Brian closed his eyes and made a decision.

"Mom! Dad! Harold! Leighanne!" Brian called out the people inside the house. They all walked in the den towards Brian who was trying to stand up. "I'm not gonna celebrate Christmas Eve here but I'll be here at Christmas. I just have to fix a major problem I've caused." Brian explained as he walked away from the four to pack up for a trip.

"Guys, is there something wrong with Justin?" Britney asked the three other N' SYNC members in the den. The three of them were speechless having no will to give the news to Britney.

"Justin is just fine." a voice shot out from the staircase. Four eyes gazed by the stairs and saw a grinning Justin.

"Justin, are you sure your fine?" Britney said as she approached Justin and gave him a kiss on the lips. Justin rolled his eyes seeing Britney kissing him. Justin softly pulled her away and walked to the seat beside Lance. "You are DEFINITELY not fine." Britney said with a frown on her face and walked towards the space beside Chris.

"I'm fine. I'm just tired with the series of concerts and everything." Justin said as he stretched his arms.

"Justin, the concerts ended weeks ago! So don't give me the 'tired from the concert' crap." Chris chastised him. Justin shot him a cold stare and shifted his eyes to Britney who was staring at him with love. Justin felt the guilt in his heart seeing Britney like this and at the end, they'll have to part ways because he didn't love her.

Justin was about to retaliate but he was interrupted by another voice. "Guys, let him be. Sooner or later, he'll come around with his problem. Trust me." JC said as he entered the den. All eyes were on him and he just gave him a smile. "I'll gonna go up and sleep now. See you later. Good night everyone." JC said as he hurriedly went up.

"NOW, what's going on with him?" Joey asked pointing upstairs. All of them just shrugged knowing that it's pointless to confront JC, similar to Justin.

"Britney, what are you doing here anyway?" Justin asked Britney with a hint of irritation. Britney still sported the frown from the manner Justin pulled him, and he could sense the coldness in Justin's voice.

"I thought I'll check on you and be with you this day and tomorrow 'coz it will be Christmas and all on Monday." Britney gave him a fake smile.

"So you'll be leaving soon?" Justin asked Britney.

"Yeah. I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon so I can meet my family before Christmas Eve." Britney said. "How about you guys, where are you spending the holidays?" Britney asked the other three who seemed to be very quiet.

"I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon to Mississippi to celebrate with my family." Lance said.

"Me, and Busta will gonna have one helluva night and probably go home to my family!" Chris said excitedly.

"I dunno yet." Loneliness was evident in Joey's voice. In fact, Joey will be celebrating Christmas alone.

"Hello? This is Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys and I'm wondering if you could book me the earliest possible trip to Florida." Brian talked on the phone while packing up a few clothes for his short trip.

"Sir. The earliest possible is tomorrow 3 in the afternoon. Are you interested?" The woman in the phone answered.

"Is there any earlier flight before that?" Brian inquired.

"Sorry sir but it's the holidays and all," the woman in the voice reasoned out. Brian couldn't do anything, there was nothing he could do but accept the offer.

"That's fine. I'll take the 3pm flight. Thank you." Brian said as he hung up the phone.

"Why are you leaving?" A woman's voice said from behind. Brian continued packing knowing the familiar bitchy voice that he heard.

"I don't owe you any explanation. I can go whenever and wherever I want." Brian said without looking at Leighanne. Brian just continued packing. "Leighanne, I want to be alone. I have to think." Brian said coldly.

Leighanne obeyed his 'husband' and left the room. A tear started forming in her eye seeing the hate and dejection that Brian was showing. "Justin, this is all your fault." Leighanne whispered to herself. Leighanne walked to the bathroom to freshen up and look the best for the family of Brian.

Inside Brian's room, tears too were filling his eyes as he slumped down to his bed. "I really fucked this up." Brian said to himself. Brian stared to the white ceiling, similar to the ceiling in the hotel room of Justin. Brian remembered the conversation that they shared. "Why did I leave that night?" Brian questioned himself.

Memories from the past flooded his mind. Brian remembered the bullying that Drew, his best friend, experienced in the 6th grade because of one slip of the tongue. Brian remembered the nights when Drew would call him and cry because of the pain that he was feeling everyday in school. Brian remembered the bruises that Drew has after a day in school. Brian remembered abandoning Drew in one of Drew's fights.

Brian began to cry again. "I'm a coward. How could I do it again?" Brian questioned himself. The words of his brother echoed in his mind, 'Bri, there's still time. Fix it'. Brian stood up from the bed and wiped his tears away ready to face Justin again.

In the room of JC, the night went on slower. It was one of the worst nights that JC has experienced. JC was still lying down on his bed and was trying to reassess the day he just had. Tears began to fall from his eyes feeling the guilt in his heart. JC didn't want to sleep again because the dreams would come back again. The night when he had the big fight with his Justin. The night when all secrets were told, well, not all.

JC immediately shut his eyes when he sensed the door opening. The person peered in the room and walked towards the 'sleeping' body of JC. He sat beside the sleeping figure and began to talk.

"I'm so sorry JC," a familiar voice said. The person stroked JC's face and he began to whimper. "I should have listened to you. I guess I'll be hearing a lot of 'I told you so's," the person said.

"I should be the one sorry, not you Justin." JC said nowhere. Justin froze realizing that JC was awake all the time. Justin took his hand and placed it on his lap.

"JC, I thought you're sleeping." Justin said.

"Just, I'm so sorry I left you that night. I shouldn't have left you. I should have supported your decision, it's your life and I think Brian is really good for you." JC spilled his hearts out.

"Don't be sorry, JC. I think I'm the one who owe you an apology. I should have listened to you that night." Justin said. JC was left confused with what Justin was saying.

"What did Brian do to you?" JC said as he stood up from the bed and sat beside Justin. Justin's tears began to fall again.

"It was so fine at first. We were talking like we were best friends. You know, like how we talk to each other. Then, my tongue slipped and he now know that I'm gay and I'm in love with him." Justin couldn't control the sobs and he just let it out. "Then... he le...left me." Justin stuttered out.

JC was shocked as well. "He did what!?" JC shouted out. JC couldn't think at the moment. 'What have I done?' JC thought. The guilt was slowly being eased but anger was clouding his mind. "How could he do that?" JC shouted again.

"I dunno. Maybe he hates me." Justin said. Tears continually fall from his eyes. JC wrapped his arms around Justin, giving him the warmth and care that he needed in that moment. Justin gladly returned the hug and cried on the shoulder of JC.

"Just, I'm so sorry." JC said. Inside his mind, he was happy of what Brian did to Justin. "What can I do to help you forget?" JC offered to Justin.

"I don't know. All is so confusing right now." Justin said as he walked towards the door. "We'll be leaving for the airport around 3pm and it's 12 already. You should freshen up." Justin said as he closed the door to my room.

"Thank you Brian." JC said to himself as he stood up and marched to the bathroom with a smile plastered on his face.

"Mom! Dad! Harold! I'm leaving now. Take care." Brian said as he walked out of their house. Brian walked to the cab that he called earlier to bring him to the airport.

Peeking from one of the windows, a woman eyed Brian's departure. Her eyes were burning with hate as she witnessed the man he married walked out to go to Florida for Justin. "Justin, you don't know who you're against." Leighanne said to herself.

Downstairs, the three also witnessed Brian's departure. The two parents were very much confused with the actions of their son.

"Harold, do you know any reason why on earth Brian left?" Harold inquired his son.

"Well, it's not my place to tell you everything but all I can say is that he has to fix a mistake that he made." Harold said to his parents.

"So I guess this is goodbye for now?" Britney said to her boyfriend as she gave him a tight embrace. Justin returned the embrace and gave her a smile that could keep her from calling for days.

"Merry Christmas Brit. Tell the family I said hi and Merry Christmas." Justin said as he broke the embrace. Britney looked at Justin and gave him a kiss. Justin just went with flow of events. 'I have to end this... soon.' Justin thought as he broke the kiss Britney and him were sharing.

"Sure do. Bye guys and Merry Christmas!" Britney waved to the other three who stood beside Justin. They all waved back and greeted her a 'Merry Christmas' too.

"Be careful Lance and have a wonderful Christmas." JC said to Lance. JC gave him a short embrace and let Lance make his goodbyes with the other guys.

Once all of them have said their goodbyes, they let the two walk away towards the inner area of the airport. Once Lance and Britney were out of sight, the four decided to head home and to start the preparations for the Christmas dinner later that night.

Justin excused himself to use the comfort room for a minute as the other guys walked outside of the airport. Justin walked towards the comfort room and did his thing. Once finished, he walked towards the exit just to be stopped by a pair of blue eyes.

"Justin?" Brian said shyly. Justin wanted to just walk out but he knew that he has to face Brian someday, and that someday would be in that instance.

"What do you want?" Justin said coldly. Brian was surprised with the different attitude that Justin was showing. Brian was speechless at the moment because of the difference in Justin. "Be quick about it. I have to leave." Justin said with no emotions.

"Oh. I just want to say I'm sorry about what happened the night in Stockholm. I wanna explain why..." Brian said trying not to cry in the public place.

"No explanations needed. Actions are better than words anyway." Justin interrupted Brian. "I just want you to fuck off and don't you ever talk to me again." Justin said as he walked past Brian.

"Justin, please? Just one minute?" Brian pleaded to Justin. Justin stopped on his track and looked at Brian with disgust.

"I don't wanna spend a minute with you." Justin said callously. Brian looked at him with disbelief. 'Who are you?' Brian thought.

"I thought you loved me?" Brian said. His head hung low to not let others see the tears that have formed in his eyes.

"I did but once you left me that night, it went away also." Justin said. It was all a lie, deep inside Justin, he still loved Brian but he was deeply hurt and seeing Brian also in pain just eased the painful load he was carrying.

"I'm here to explain why I left that night. So please lemme explain..." Brian started to speak up but again a very angry Justin interrupted him.

"Like I said, I don't want to hear your explanation. Goodbye and have a merry Christmas." Justin said sarcastically. Justin walked away from Brian. Tears were beginning to fill his eyes but he has to be strong.

Justin walked towards the limo. Three pairs of eyes looked at him as he entered the limo. Justin looked at them wondering why the sudden look at their faces. Justin felt a tear fall from his eyes and the next thing he knew, he was again crying his heart out and three voices were there, trying to sooth him.

Brian was left dumbfounded inside the airport standing. He was just there standing thinking of what he would do next. Everything was so overwhelming for him; he needed somebody to share this... Harold. Brian looked for his cell phone but he couldn't find it. 'Maybe I left it at home.' Brian thought as he walked to a payphone. Brian called home and the phone started ringing.

"Hello?" A male voice answered.

"Harold. It's Brian." Brian said trying to sound cheerful but it was impossible.

"What happened?" Harold asked Brian curiously. Harold knew something was wrong but he didn't want to be blunt about it.

"I think I left my cell phone there." Brian tried to change the subject trying to get away from the intuition of Harold. 'Why did I call him?' Brian asked himself.

"Yeah. It's right here. What happened?" Harold inquired again. Brian knew he was fighting a losing battle, so he told everything that happened in the airport. After his short narration, Brian was again crying.

"Brian? Listen to me. I want you to check in to a hotel and try not to look pathetic as you sound. I'll try to fix the mess you made." Harold said nonchalantly.

Brian agreed and hangs up the phone. Brian wiped away the tears that were streaking down his cheeks as he walked towards the exit to get a cab and obey his brother's orders.

The limo reached the Timberlake household. Chris and Joey went out first trying not to disturb the sleeping Justin. Justin's head was lying on JC's lap, so JC couldn't move either.

Justin's eyes fluttered trying to adjust to the light. JC looked at him with care in his eyes but as soon as the memories with Brian began to flood Justin's mind, anger was prevailing inside.

"Justin, are you okay now?" JC asked worriedly. Justin just looked at him and gave him a frown.

"Do I look okay?" Justin snapped. Justin walked out of the limo and went straight to his room and locked himself inside. Justin replayed the events in the airport. Honestly, seeing Brian hurt and inflicted in pain eased the hurt feeling of Justin but there was also a part of him that wanted to embrace him and let the pain go away. Soon, he was again engulfed in sleep.

In the den, the three were again debating in the sudden outburst of Justin. Like earlier, they were confused and dumbfounded with Justin's recent actions.

"JC? Do you know anything?" Chris asked JC. JC just shrugged knowing nothing of this latest development with Justin.

The phone rang. They all look at each other deciding who should pick up the phone. Inside, they were hoping that it's not Lynn Harliss, Justin's mother because she's known for as a worrier. Finally, JC decided to answer the phone.

"Hello?" JC said.

"Hello. Um, can I please speak with Justin Timberlake?" the voice in the phone said. JC searched his mind looking for the voice, but it was a stranger for him.

"He's sleeping right now. May I know who this is?" JC inquired. There was a long pause after the question.

"Tell him it's Harold and it's really important for him to call me." Harold said. JC was still oblivious with the person on the line.

"Okay, does he know your number?" JC asked Harold. Harold gave JC his number and hung up the phone. Two pairs of eyes looked at JC wondering who the person was.

"Don't look at me like that. I don't know anything." JC said as he motioned to go upstairs to check on Justin.

"Harold?" A voice said on the phone. It was evident that the voice just came from a heavy crying from the quality of the crackling voice.

"Brian, I talked to a guy in Justin's house, and he said Justin's sleeping so I left my number for him to call me." Harold told Brian what happened with the conversation. "Are you alright?" Harold asked with care.

"I really don't know." Brian said. Brian lay down to his bed. His mind was swimming in various thoughts on how he could patch this mess.

"Brian, can I ask you one important question?" Harold asked Brian. Brian agreed even though his mind was elsewhere. "How do you feel about Justin?" Harold's question shook Brian back to reality. Brian couldn't answer at the moment. "Brian? Stop overanalyzing things. Just search your heart, not your mind!" Harold snapped at Brian.

Brian closed his heart and thought of the night in Stockholm. He remembered Justin's laughter, Justin's voice... he remembered Justin. "I think I love him." Brian said as tears flowed out of his eyes. It was the first time he admitted his real self, there was no more mask but the sheer truth.

"Just what I wanted to hear. I'll call you later, okay? Why won't you rent a car so you can drive in the city and take things of your mind? By the way, buy a new mobile phone." Harold instructed Brian. Again, Brian agreed with the orders and went out of his room.

As Justin's eyes opened, another pair that belongs to a brunet met them. Justin squinted trying to adjust from the light because of his slumber. JC gave him a warm smile and stroke his face. Justin smiled too and tried to sit down so he could talk to JC better.

JC removed his hand from Justin's face. "A guy named Harold called earlier and he said that it's very important for you to call him." JC said as he handed a small piece of paper to Justin.

Justin searched his mind to remember the name 'Harold', but he couldn't. JC said it was important so, "I'll call him. Thanks JC." JC smiled at him warmly and left Justin's room. Justin said as he reached for the phone by his bed. Justin dialed the number written on the piece of paper and waited for the other line to answer.

"Hello?" The voice from the other line answered.

"Hello? Can I please talk to Harold?" Justin said politely to the phone as he lay down again on the bed.

"This is Harold. May I know who's on the line please?" Harold asked the voice in the phone.

"This is Justin. You called earlier?" Justin said.

"Oh Justin. This is Brian's brother." Harold said. Justin's eyes widened upon hearing the words 'Brian's brother'.

"What can I do for you then?" Justin said with a cold tone.

"Well, I called you to explain why my brother did what he did to you in Stockholm and why he came there to Orlando, and after you hear this, you'll see why he did what he did." Harold said confidently. Justin's mind began to wonder what Harold meant, but the only thing he could do was listen.

"Okay, I'm listening." Justin said as he opened the radio in his room. A song from Madison Avenue filled the room that gave the room a little jest of life.

Harold narrated almost the whole secret life of Brian Littrell. A past that Brian kept hidden in his mind. It was one of the most traumatic events in his life, living with the hate of the homophobes in school especially in such a young age. Harold explained how Drew, Brian's best friend suffered everything and Brian has to watch everything but couldn't do a thing. Harold told Justin what happened after the night in Stockholm, how Brian changed. How Brian fell into a depression and channeling his anger to everyone.

Justin was left awestrucked. Tears were streaking down due to what he just heard. The guilt was eating him slowly. He thought of the events in the airport, how Brian tried to change everything, and how he turned him down. Justin couldn't control the emotions inside him.

"Harold, I don't wanna be rude or anything but I gotta be alone with this and try to absorb everything you just revealed. I want to give you a big thank you for doing this for Brian and maybe for me too." Justin sniffled the words. Harold understood what Justin felt and hang up the phone for Justin.

Justin cried and cried in the dark. He kept cursing himself for being an insensitive asshole who didn't wanna listen to Brian's explanation. He just have to talk to Brian and patch this up.

"We have a special request for a certain Justin from Brian. Brian wanna tell you how sorry he was for everything he did and hopes that you'll let him show you the shape of his heart." The words from the radio announcer echoed inside Justin's room and Justin's mind. Justin stopped his sobbing and listened to the song that was being played.

Baby, please try to forgive me
Stay here don't put out the glow
Hold me now, don't bother
If every minute it makes me weaker
You can save me from the man that I've become
Oh yeah

Lookin' back on the things I've done
I was trying to be someone
Play my part & kept ya in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart

Sadness is beautiful
Loneliness is tragical
So help me, I can't win this war, oh no
Touch me now, don't bother
If every second it makes me weaker
You can save me from the man I've become

Lookin' back on the things I've done
I was trying to be someone
Play my part & kept ya in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart

I'm here with my confession
Got nothing to hide no more
I don't know where to start
But to show you the shape of my heart

I'm looking back on things I've done
I never wanna play the same old part
Keep you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart

When the song ended, Justin couldn't control his emotions and cried again. With no apparent reason, he stood up from his bed and went by the window to gaze the nightly skies. It was near Christmas and he was alone with this guilt eating his heart. When he looked across the street, a figure caught his attention. The figure was standing by a car looking at the window where Justin was, staring at him with tears cascading from his eyes.

Justin snapped from his shock and ran downstairs. Justin shouted something to the three persons seated on the couch who were singing Christmas carols to bring in the Christmas spirit. Three eyes looked at Justin confused as he went out of the house with just a wife beater and blue boxers. Justin stopped from his tracks as he stared directly at the person in front of him.

"I'm sorry." The figure by the car said. He looked at Justin then looked down to the ground.

"Brian, don't be. I should be sorry for not listening to you." Justin said as he approached Brian. Justin wiped away the tears from Brian's eyes and gave him a warm smile. Brian returned the smile and gave him an embrace.

"I wanna explain everything..." Brian started.

"Don't. Harold already said enough." Justin said as he broke the hug and again gave him a smile that everyone was wishing for.

A song from Justin's house broke the silence between Justin and Brian. Brian gave a confused look not remembering the song that was being played.

This is the time of year that we learn to give
And the greatest gift, is learning to forgive
And we will have the best time, that we ever knew
If you forgive me
And I forgive you

I don't wanna light a fire, unless it will warm your heart
Or playin no holiday songs, I need you to sing your part
And baby if I could have, just one wish come true
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you

It's so hard to believe we're staring at the end
When all we think about is starting up again
Whatever we lost, when we were apart
We'll find it all alone in the dark

I don't wanna light a fire, unless it will warm your heart
Or playin no holiday songs, I need you to sing your part
And baby if I could have, just one wish come true
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you

There's nothing more that I want from you, than to lie here together
And stay here forever with you
There's no one I ever knew
That I'd wanted to spend Christmas with
More than you...(More than you)

I don't wanna light a fire, unless it will warm your heart
Or playin no holiday songs, I need you to sing your part
And baby if I could have, just one wish come true
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you

I don't wanna light a fire, unless it will warm your heart
Or playin no holiday songs, I need you to sing your part
And baby if I could have, just one wish come true
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas
I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you

"Bri, I don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you." Justin sang the last line as tears rolled from his eyes. "God, I love you so much it hurts." Justin said as he embraced Brian again.

Brian broke the embrace and stared at him straight to the eye. Brian searched Justin's soul for the love that he was pledging. Brian gave him a warm smile and finally spoke. "I don't wanna spend any Christmas without you, Justin. I love you too much." Brian said as his lips touched Justin's for the first time.

Guys and gals, what do you think? Should I continue this or just end it here. Give me an email about what you think, okay?

This is the Christmas chapter and hopefully the next chapter comes out by early next year. I know it's quite long for you guys and gals but I have my own life to take care too. :-)

The songs included here are:

    Shape of My Heart by Backstreet Boys taken from their latest album, Black and Blue.

    I Don't Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You by N SYNC taken from the album, Platinum Christmas. 

Wanna wish all of you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!!!

AND Please do send your comments and suggestions regarding Crossed Paths or about anything! It's very much appreciated! Email me to this address: