Classification: RPS AU
Catergory: Drama
Part: 2/4
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jeff/Drew from 98 Degrees
Copyright: © 2002 Jasper Jeff
Author Notes: mmm... lots of 'F' word... a rare thing for me... Please also note that this story is under a different name "Second Chance" on my website.
Summary: What shouldn't have happened was about to end.

Breaking Apart

Sharon came to the door seconds after I rang her bell.

"You look pretty stunning, girl." It was not a lie what I had just told her. She was really a beautiful woman. I could recognize a female's beauty when I saw it, and I would admire her. But never got her naked in my bed. It would only make me puke.

"Drew! You look... great yourself!" Sharon half exclaimed. She grinned and commented in somewhat a whisper, "And sexy too!"

At least Sharon thought I looked good. That not only brought a triumphant grin to my face, but also got my ego going.

When we got to the hotel holding the dinner, Sharon and I went our separate ways to mingle with other co-workers. I didn't see Jeff around.

As dinner was about to start, I met up with Sharon again so we could go to our designated seats. Jeff was supposed to be at the same table with us, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

While I was starting to estimate the possibilities of Jeff playing hooky with this dinner thing, his voice rose behind us. "Hey Sharon. And Drew! Did I miss anything?"

Jeff was late - a rare thing for him. I turned and saw him dressed in all black - together with a beautiful woman looping her right arm around Jeff's left.

She was an inch or two taller than Jeff. I guessed if she had her heels off, she would be about the same height with him. Black gown. Long, brown wavy hair. Sparkling blue eyes. Adorable face. Slim, but with a very womanly figure. She could be the fantasy girl for many straight men - probably Jeff's too. I disliked her instantly. They looked too good together.

"Drew, this is Jamie. Jamie, Drew. This is Drew's date for the night, Sharon." Jeff was introducing his date, too formally.

"My pleasure for finally having the chance to meet you. I've heard so much about you," Jamie said to me as she smiled. I hated to admit that was a sincere smile.

So, she's a sweet and sincere person. It wouldn't change the fact that I didn't like her. And meeting me at last? She obviously heard about me from Jeff. How long has she known him? Did she know my relations with Jeff were more than merely co-workers and friends?

Okay... I was starting to act like a jealous bitch. But I couldn't help it. For years, I'd had a thing for Jeff. Now that he and I had fucked, it became something more to me.

There was something in the way Jeff was looking at Jamie that had my stomach tied in knots. I didn't like the feeling. It was almost like having your boyfriend cheating on you right in your face.

Who was I kidding anyway? I was nothing but a hole that Jeff fucked. He didn't even consider that sex!

Over the course of dinner, I was trying to be nice and civilized. And I learned something about this 'Jamie' woman.

Jamie was new in town - she's only been in the city for several months. She ran into Jeff at the laundromat the second day she had moved in to their neighborhood. He asked her out the next day. And before they knew it, they had been dating for almost four months now.

So what did that all mean to me? Jeff and I only started this fucking thing no more than half a year ago!

Jeff's been dating stably with a girl, but he was still coming to me for sex. Should I be angry? Or should I be happy? Shouldn't Jeff have told me about seeing someone and stopped coming to my bed? It was his horny idea to have sex while we were both not seeing anyone. Shouldn't it had stopped when he had met someone?

I felt cheap and used.

I was pouring myself glass after glass of wine. I was mad and the company was paying for the beverages, so I didn't care. I didn't have a clear idea of what I was so mad about or whom I was so mad at. That was plain franticness in me.

And what happened next? I didn't care.

I woke with a start, and a severe headache was there to greet me. Damn! I shouldn't have drunk that much. It was one of the worst hangovers I ever had.

Getting up, I headed for the bathroom hoping to find some aspirin. As sharply as I had woken up, I stopped in my path. I was naked - but I never slept naked. Looking at my surroundings, I realized I wasn't in my apartment. Glancing back on the bed, there was Sharon's naked form sleeping with a smirk on her face.

Fuck!!! What the fuck have I done?!

I was getting sick at the thought of what I had possibly done with Sharon the night before. Frantically, I searched for my clothing. Rushing out of the apartment, I barely had my pants back on when I got in the elevator. I found my car right outside of the apartment building and drove back to my place. I was pretty sure that I had broken some speeding regulations on my way home.

Hardly had I gotten into the living room, my stomach was rolling up towards my throat.

After throwing up all I've eaten the night before, I was numb and exhausted. Too weak and sick to change, I fell asleep at the foot of my bed when I got in my bedroom.

The door bell rang, again and again. I dragged my tired, half-waken ass to answer the door. It was Jeff on the other side.

"How're you doing, man? You sure drank a lot last night." Jeff was genuinely concerned.

I was still feeling really sick. And I was still mad at him for not telling me about Jamie any earlier. Automatically, my bitch mood kicked in.

"Oh, and you care? You let Sharon drag the drunken me away. And now you come to me and play the Mr. Good-Nature-Caring-Guy? Screw you!"

"What did you expect then? She was your date and she offered to take care of you." He seemed a little uneasy with the venting I just gave him.

"She dragged me to her bed! I woke up with her next to me in bed - naked! And you know what that does to me? You don't know how sick it makes me feel."

Yeah, I was being unreasonable. But who would be reasonable when that someone was as pissed as I was?

"I'm sorry, Drew. I really am. But what did you want me to do? I was with Jamie last night. She's tired and wanted to go home. I couldn't drive both of you home with Jamie tagging along."

If I was starting to feel sorry for letting out my temper on Jeff, I stopped when he mentioned Jamie.

"Oh, and Jamie. Why're you still fucking me when you're already going steady with her? Am I just a piece of willing tight ass for your own fucking pleasure? I was a slut that you figured you didn't need to at least respect a little?"

Jeff winced at my accusation. "No, I don't mean it like that. You're my best friend."

"A straight best friend doesn't fuck his gay best friend." I was bitter. Hell! I was worse than bitter.

"I thought you enjoyed what we did. I only want my best friend to be happy."

"So you gave me your charity fuck, huh? I don't need you to pity me, damn it!" I said falling down on the floor next to the couch.

Jeff stood there, didn't quite knowing what to do. "I'm sorry, Drew... I never ..."

"You've said enough. Go back to your Jamie and play your role of a straight boyfriend," I said, stopping Jeff's apology. "That is, if you still insist on being straight when you enjoy fucking my ass so much."

I guessed I did it with that comment. Jeff dropped his head looking down at his feet and turned for the door to leave in silence. Hearing the door closing behing Jeff, a tear, which I'd been holding back, fell down.

These several months, I was living in a dream that one day Jeff would realize he could be with a man. And maybe he would see me in a way more than just a friend and fuck buddy. And just maybe I could live the happy ending of some fairy tale and be with Jeff for the rest of my life.

That dream ended when Jamie came into the picture.

Saturday night, I did nothing but lie on my bed, wearing nothing but the pants from the night before, thinking about Jeff. For the three years or so I've known him, we had never had any serious argument. Of course, I lusted over him from the beginning. But throughout the years, I had gotten to know him and gradually the feelings grew. Our relationship went to a forbidden territory when I gave in to my lust and let him fuck me.

Now, all of this was about to end.

Sunday, my stomach started complaining for lack of food. Moving out to the kitchen, I passed the living room. Suddenly I recalled all the times Jeff spent his evening here when we would watch a game on TV or simply chill out. The memory brought pain in my chest. I could hardly breathe.

And there was also the memory of him fucking me the first time on the couch.

The memories and feelings for Jeff were killing me. I needed to get away.

I had to get away from Jeff.

From the author:
Yeah, I'm an attention-sucker. Write to me with your comments and ideas!

Copyright © by Jasper Jeff
http://jasperjeff.no-ip.org/