Classification: RPS AU
Pairing: Jeff/Drew from 98 Degrees
Copyright: © 2002 Jasper Jeff
Author Notes: yes, i didn't intend this one to be a long series. and yes again, i have two endings ready. write to me and let me know which one you want - the not-so-happy one or the happy one. Please also note that this story is under a different name "Second Chance" on my website.
Summary: It was different because it would be the last.
Monday, I knew it would be hell at work. Not because of the weekend break, but for what I knew what would be waiting for me in the office.
People would know I had slept with Sharon. But what they wouldn't know is that it was against my will.
She was exactly the type of female conqueror - she saw, she conquered and she bragged.
Before lunchtime was here, I was already getting stares from many female co-workers. News travelled fast. What they were thinking about wasn't hard to see, cause those were looks of desires they were giving me. Maybe, Jeff was right about girls from the company wanting to get me for themselves. Or maybe, Sharon had told them some really good things about me. Now the word was out, maybe they thought they could get to have a piece of me.
Yeah, liked it wouldn't have me throwing up everywhere had I been conscious.
And there was this conversation I overheard in the pantry -
"Sure. All the juicy details."
"What's he like?"
"Let's just say he's absolutely incredible. Sharon said it was nothing but hot and wild. And you can't tell he's hiding such a big thing on him."
"Too big to go in all the way."
"Sweet Jesus! No wonder Sharon keeps smiling funny all day."
"She's a lucky woman. Who would've thought he digs women too?"
"Are you saying he's not gay?"
"I guess he's more like bisexual."
Okay, I wasn't small. But the truth was being exaggerated. It just looked bigger than it really was cause I was short. Maybe it was a little out of proportion considering my height, but it was nothing like what they were saying.
And me being bisexual? Hell, they could dream on.
At twenty-five, I wasn't going to start panicking about my own sexuality over an accident.
I was avoiding Sharon. It made me sick to my stomach simply to think of her face and how she looked naked in bed.
I was avoiding Jeff too. I didn't know whether it was because the final realization of me living in an impossible dream, or the fact that he only considered me a convenient fuck. Hiding from him somehow seemed necessary to stop my heart from bleeding. I never knew it would hurt so much to want someone that I could not possibly have.
However, three years couldn't be considered a short time. Everything in my apartment and almost everywhere I went, it seemed to remind me of our time spent together. I was seeing and hearing him no matter where I hid.
I had to leave everything behind and start anew in order to bring peace back into my life - a life without Jeff.
The week went on and I was a walking zombie. I was trying to ignore all the gossip behind my back about Sharon and me. Also, I was trying to mend the damage on my emotional side caused by accepting the fact that Jeff would never be mine.
It was my fault in the first place. Never, ever, should I have fallen for a straight man - and my best friend too. And I never should've given in to have sex with him.
It was a boundary crossed with no way to head back.
Friday, I left work on time. It was the beginning of another weekend and frankly I didn't want to stay any longer in the office. So, I left the first minute I could and headed for the car park.
Hiding didn't work too long.
Jeff was there, leaning against the hood of my car, presumably waiting for me. He looked like he had something to say to me but he kept his silence. I sighed and motioned him to the passenger side. After unlocking the doors, we both got in with neither of us saying anything.
"What?" I asked, nervously after settling in the driver seat for several minutes.
"We need to talk. Your place?" I could tell he was nervous too.
I started the car and wheeled us out of the car park to my place. Everything was quiet in the car.
Jeff fell down on the couch first thing we got in the living room. He looked exhausted, emotionally.
"Would be great. Thanks."
It was different between us. We were best friends before and we bantered each other without second thoughts. That moment, we became courteous like we were only casual acquaintances.
I went to get us some coffee in the kitchen. Probably Jeff realized what we did was wrong. Probably he came to end it all. And most probably I would lose him as a friend altogether.
I was staring at the coffee maker, not really seeing it. My mind was elsewhere.
Suddenly, a pair of strong hands slipped around my waist and a wall of muscled flesh pressed against my back. I felt hot breathing against the back of my neck.
No lustful groping. No urgent rubbing. Strong fingers lazily traced the ridges of my abs beneath the clothes. Slow, deep breaths exhaled through the endings of hair on my neck. Body warmth built a closure around me.
This time, it wasn't about sex. It wasn't about getting off. I could feel the bulge between his legs pressing at my rear. But it wasn't even half-hard. It was a soothing embrace of human emotions.
This was what I had been waiting for three years. It was so surreal.
For several minutes, I let myself enjoy the luxury of the closeness with Jeff. I didn't know why he did it, but I wouldn't give up this first - and probably the last - chance of feeling home in his arms.
Slowly he turned me around. Facing him, I looked into his eyes. Confusion, indecision, desires, regrets and uncertainty were all in those soulful blue eyes. Opening my mouth trying to speak, he shook his head telling me not to.
Leaning into me, he extended his right hand behind me to switch off the coffee maker. I expected him to pull back, but he didn't. Instead, he leaned further into me, brushing my lips lightly with his. Tender, thin velvet lips that smelt good and probably tasted wonderful.
I didn't have to wonder any longer because he then pressed his lips fully onto mine. His right hand rose to hold the back of my head. His fingers finding their way through my hair. Pulling my lower lips gently, he opened my mouth. A tongue slipped in. Shyly testing the water before moving boldly in. He was trying to taste my mouth. Learning every slight curve of my mouth, every welcoming movement of my tongue and every satisfying sound coming uncontrollably from the depth of my being.
His tongue retreated slowly. Fighting to keep him in, mine wrestled with his. But his kept pulling away and mine kept following. Then mine was in his mouth. He was sucking me in. Back and forth, tongues were tangoing in our mouths.
Both of my hands reached up around his neck, holding his head in place for the tongue dance. I was breathing heavily through my nose, never wanting to give up the claim on his mouth. Those thin lips could kiss like no other men I had been with. If this was the only time to taste them, I would keep on going until suffocation.
Sensing my eagerness to continue, his right hand slowly traced my spine down to my butt while the other stayed put around my waist. We were pressing hard against each other.
I felt my belt being unbuckled and jeans unzipped. Cold air hit my legs as the jeans dropped to the floor. His hands grabbed the back of my thighs, pulled and sat me up on the kitchen's counter in one smooth motion without breaking the kiss. He slowly moved away from the kiss and looked at me in my eyes. Passions and desires ruled his eyes.
He pulled his shirt off then lifted my tee shirt over my head. His gaze never broke away from looking into my eyes. His strong hand came up to tenderly rub my chin. A finger drew the curve forming my cheekbone, which his eyes slowly followed. Then my Adam's apple, my shoulders and collarbone, the outer curve of my chest, the roundness of my nipples, the ridges defining my stomach, the proud bulge in my boxer and the tautness of skins on my thighs. He was trying to learn me - to remember me.
I then knew for sure this would be the last time with him.
From the author:
Yeah, I'm an attention-sucker. Write to me with your comments and ideas!
Copyright © by Jasper Jeff