Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 19:46:26 From: eric leung Subject: Darkness World Chapter 1 Disclaimer: This story is purely fiction, I don't know anyone in 98 degrees and I don't know their sexual orientation. If homosexuality offends you in then please leave. If you are too young to read this then please leave too. Chapter one: The first time I met him was during my first year in University. He was the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I was still in the closet and always very shy so I didn't have the courage to talk to him. His name is Raymond. He was a friend of my best friend. During one of our weekend parties, I was sitting on the sofa when I saw him walking towards me. Smiling at me, he took a seat next to me and we started talking. After three months, he was my boyfriend. He gave me the strength and courage to come out to my family. Luckily, my family accepted me. Things seemed to be going so well until the weekend before my graduation. "Why do you want to break up with me?" I asked. I was so angry that he couldn't tell me why he wanted to break up with me. "Sorry Steve. I know everything is my fault...I fell in love with another man." He finally told me the reason. "Ok." I sat down on the sofa. Suddenly I was so calm, I didn't k now why. "Sorry Steve." I didn't answer him. I walked in our room and closed the door. Fifteen minutes later, I had packed everything and prepared to leave. When he saw me prepare to leave, he stood up from the chair and pulled me toward him. "Sorry Steve." He whispered. He started to cry. I tried to push him away but he hugged me so hard that I couldn't "Ray, let me go. You don't love me anymore." "No! I still love you but..." "But you love him more, so Ray please let me go." "But the apartment is yours, I am the one who should leave." "Ray, where you can go? You were kicked out from home. You don't have place to stay. I can go home. I don't want to stay in this apartment anymore. It's full of the memories of you and me. You can stay here until you find a place." I said. He finally let me go and I kissed him goodbye. Then I left the apartment. I put my luggage into my car then drove back home. After I graduated, I found a job with a local computer company. The life was boring and lonely. I missed him. My best friend Betty was so angry after she found out that I broke up with Ray. She asked me why we broke up. I didn't tell her why at first but after 3 hours, I broke down and told her everything. When she heard what happened, she was furious. She ran out of my home and I follow her to my old apartment, the one that I left for Ray. Betty started to knock the door very hard. I tried to stop her but she pushed me to the floor and she kept knocking. I sat on the floor and looked at her. She seemed so strange to me suddenly. I didn't know what to do so I left the apartment. I ran down to the street and ran across the road. A car sped towards me and hit me very hard. I felt a sharp pain then nothing. When I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't see anything. The doctor said I lost my sight. I felt nothing after I heard that. Betty was crying beside me when she found out that I would lose my sight entirely. She kept saying that it was her fault. I told her it was an accident. I felt nothing after I knew I would lose my sight entirely. I thought that maybe it was a good thing for me. The world was so ugly and I didn't want to face it anymore. The driver who hit me came to visit me everyday. His name was Jeff Timmons. "I am so sorry, Steve." Jeff said. "Jeff, can you stop saying sorry to me? You've been saying that for the past week. I told you it's my fault, I shouldn't have ran out the road like that." I said. "But..." he said. "No but! Ok? I am fine! I feel so bored. Can you tell me something about yourself?" I said. "Hmm...sure..." He started to tell me something about his family, his job and his band mates. I enjoyed the time with him. After 2 days, I left the hospital. Jeff came to my home and visited me everyday. We became good friends. One day, when I was talking to Jeff, Betty came to visit me. We talked a little bit then Jeff said he needed to leave. "I think someone is falling in love." Betty said after Jeff left. "What are you talking about?" I asked her. "I said he's falling for you." "No way!" "When he was looking at you, his eyes shone. When I caught him staring at you, his face blushed deep red. I can tell you that he is totally falling in love with you." "Betty, I am not ready to love again." Betty didn't say anything. The next day, Jeff came to visit me again. He told me that he needed to go to tour tomorrow. "Can I touch your face?" I asked him. "Huh?" "I want to use my hands to SEE you. Can I?" "Ok." When touched his face, I felt the tears on his face. "Why you are crying Jeff? Did I hurt you?" I asked. He put his hands on my hands and moved my hands to touch his lips. Then he started to move toward me and kissed me gently. He threw his arms around me, hugging me tight. "What are you doing Jeff?" I asked. "I...I am so sorry Steve. Hmm...I need to go." He said, standing up. I caught his hand and said, "Jeff, don't go." Then I moved towards him and hugged him. "I think I've fallen in love to you, Steve." Jeff said. "Why me? I am only a blind guy. I don't need your pity." "No, I am so sure I am in love to you. You are so special, you are so strong when you know you will lose your sight forever. I admired you in the beginning. Then after I talking to you, I start to fall in love with you. I always think about you. You care about everyone's feeling and...and you treat me like a normal person. I love you Steve." He started to kiss me passionately. He hugged me so tight. Although I couldn't see him, I could feel his body heat, I could hear his heart beat, I could smell his cologne and I could taste the sweetness of his lips and I could feel his love too. That night we slept on my bed. We didn't have sex. I felt so warm and safe when I slept with him. The next day, he kissed me softly and left. Jeff started his tour, he phoned to me every day. I was so happy. I was in love again. A week after he left, I had a visitor. "Hi Steve." "Hi Ray. How are you?" I said "Hmm...Steve, I want to talk to you. It's very important." "Ok." I said. "I think I...want to be with you again..." "Why?" "I think I love you more." "Ray, stop the bullshit! Tell me the truth! I know you are lying." "I think you need me more." "Ray, I don't need your pity." "But..." "No but! I'm tired, please leave?" "Ok, I will come visit you tomorrow." Then he left. "Am I still in love with him?" I asked myself. tbc