Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2000 10:11:49 -0700 (PDT) From: Jay Chords Subject: Deceiving Secrets - 12 Hi, sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. But da da da da here it is! yay! I hope it was worth the wait. Send any comments, questions or hateful letters to : chords4@yahoo.com or you can IM me on aol im : teDDybearkrU (it's gonna be changed soon i think) but anyways..here are some stories i'm addicted to : Justin's Dark Angel (this one is beyond amazing) Nsync Lance N JC Not Meant to Be Intimate Stranger/Kidnapped Lance in Shining Armour Brian and Me Forever Escape Busta Dream of a Guardian Angel Okay, I hope you take some time after you read this chapter to look at those stories if you haven't already. They're wonderfully written. And believe me, it's hard to get me addicted to a story, so these ones are my selected few of this chapter. Okay, here comes the boring stuff: Disclaimer : cut my life into pieces..this is my last resort..suffocation no breathing Nice disclaimer, huh? hehe what can I say? I'm addicted to music. Okay so you know how to reach me (check) you have MY disclaimer (check) and I've managed to make an ass out of myself (check) okay, I think we can get onto Chapter 12 now! *hugs to all* Please e-mail me!!!! Oh, and now I've begged (check). -Jay Chapter 12 AJ stood outside Brian's room. The door was left slightly ajar as he leaned against the frame watching Mica and Brian sleep. Deep inside it killed him. He thought that it was because they were happy and that they had each other to get through all of this but there was something else. AJ's eyes kept drawing him back to Brian's sleeping form. He smiled and watched the beautiful angel sleep. He was so innocent. Then it hit him. He was falling for Brian. His best friend. Jeremy was alone in the house. Howie, Brian, AJ, and Mica had gone off food shopping. He had wanted to stay home and collect his thoughts. They hadn't been gone for more than two hours when there was a knock on the door. He peaked through the peep hole and groaned. "Hello Kevin," he greeted him with as much of a smile as he could muster up. "Hi Jay, can I come in?" Jeremy opened the door wider. "Free world." Kevin took that invitation and stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Jeremy crossed his arms over his chest. "Look, Jay, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding earlier." "Misunderstanding? Misunderstanding?! Jesus Christ Kevin you were engaged to AJ!" "Okay, my stupidity. How about that?" "A bit better." "Listen, Jay, I want you back." Jeremy couldn't help but let out a guffaw. "YOU want ME back? Shouldn't you be saying this to AJ?" "To hell with AJ. I want you." Jeremy couldn't believe his ears. "It's not gonna happen, Kevin," he said with authority. "Why not? We were so good together," Kevin smiled and tried to put his arms around Jeremy's waist. He moved away from Kevin's towering form. "You cheated on AJ. How do I know you wouldn't cheat on me? Besides, I like Howie." "I've changed. How do you know Howie likes you back?" "Because we have a date tonight." Kevin mentally kicked himself. He was too late. 'Oh well. Plan B then,' he thought. "What can Howie give you that I can't?" "I don't know, Kevin. I don't know what you can give me but I'm damn sure that Howie can do it a thousand times better than you," he stared him down. "You don't understand Kevin. I don't want you back. You totally ruined any chance of me trusting you and I'm pretty sure AJ's going to have as much trouble trusting you as well." "I know that and that's why I'm here. I want to apologize for all the stupid things I've done." "Well you've apologized, so get out." "Jay," he half whispered. "Out!" Kevin didn't waste any time. He grabbed Jeremy by the hips and pulled him against his own muscular body. He stared into Jeremy's eyes for a second before pulling him into a long kiss. Jeremy tried to push Kevin away but his grasp was stronger than his own. "Oh my god!" came from behind them. Jeremy knew that voice. It was Howie. Jeremy continued to struggle and finally he pulled himself away from Kevin. Jeremy looked at Howie who ran up the stairs without another word. "Howie!" he called before trying to follow. Kevin grabbed his arm. "Come back to me, Jay. Please, I'm so much better for you than him." "How dare you," he glared and found his fist connecting with Kevin's jaw. "You stay the hell away from me," he demanded and ran up the stairs. 'Oh god I've lost him!' Jeremy thought. He knocked on Howie's door. "Go away," he yelled. Jeremy could hear the despair in his voice. "Please, Howie, let me in. It wasn't what it looked like. I don't love him. I don't even like him," he pleaded through the wood. He heard the door unlock as it opened a little. Jeremy squeezed through the crack. "I know you don't like him. It's just that it hurt so much. I felt my heart breaking, Jay." Jeremy pulled Howie close to him. He ran his fingers through his long black hair. "I'm sorry you had to see it." "You know who you remind me of?" he asked, bringing his gaze up to Jeremy's. "Who?" "Nick. The two of you with that long blonde hair." "Should I be worried that he might steal you away from me?" Howie laughed. "Not in a million years." "Well there's one less thing to worry about," Jeremy chuckled. "So is are date still on?" "Absolutely. Pick you up at around 7?" "Can't wait," Jeremy grinned. "See you then." "What was that?" Brian frowned at Kevin. He had seen the whole thing. "Lay off Brian." "No, we have every right to know," AJ appeared next to Brian, his arms folded over his chest. "AJ, honey." "Don't pull that 'honey' bull shit on me. Get out." "Ah, come on." "Get out," Brian commanded. Kevin looked from AJ to Brian and then to the stairs. He shook his head and left the house practically knocking Mica over. "Nice seeing you too," she glared. Howie and Jeremy peered from the stairs. "He gone?" Jeremy asked. "Yeah, it's safe to come out." The two emerged with an arm draped around the other's waist. "So you two kiss and make up?" they nodded and grinned at each other. "Well at least things for you are peachy," AJ spat out before running up the stairs and slamming his door. They all winced. "I'll go talk to him," Howie said. Jeremy stopped him. "It's my fault. I'll go talk to him." "You sure?" Jeremy nodded. "Yeah." Jeremy stood at the bottom of the stairs, they seemed to stretch on forever. Like a mountain waiting to be conquered. He sighed and climbed them. Uneasily, he knocked on AJ's bedroom door. No answer. "AJ?" Still no answer. He tried to doorknob, it turned easily under his grasp. He pushed the door open. AJ was lying face down on the bed. "AJ, please talk to me." AJ just sniffled and shook his head. "I'm sorry for whatever I did." "You didn't do anything," he heard from AJ's fluffy refuge. "It's Kevin. He was mine for three years and he wants you. He loves you. Not me. But you and Howie are in love. Where does that leave me? Little old AJ. I'm old news now." "Kevin's no good for either of us. You want commitment, I want commitment. He doesn't. You can find so many other men." "No, I can't. Don't you see," AJ finally lifted up his tear stained face. "If I tell the wrong person, my career is ruined! With Kevin, he was someone I knew, someone who I was around all the time. I didn't have to deal with a long distance relationship like the other guys did. Now, what am I gonna do?" "I don't know, AJ. I really don't know. I wish I could tell you but I can't. God works in mysterious ways. Maybe you and Kevin can still be together. Maybe this is just a pot hole." AJ shrugged. "Maybe," he sighed. "That's a big word." Kevin was driving through downtown Orlando. His mind was racing. Jeremy didn't want him. Jeremy wanted Howie. AJ. He didn't know what AJ wanted. He didn't even know what he, himself, wanted. He sighed and turned on the radio. "This song goes out to Emily from Adam. It's The Backstreet Boys 'The One'." Kevin listened to the words of his own song. He felt they should've brought some sort of reassurance to his current situation. Somehow, it just made things harder. "I have to get AJ back," he stated out loud. A cloud of steam followed Jeremy into his bedroom. He smiled as he routed through his wardrobe, trying to find something suitable to wear. Frustrated, he opened his door. "Mica!" he yelled, pulling on a shirt and track pants to cover his cuts. "What?" "I need you!" "Somehow that doesn't sound right," she yelled back. "Mica," he whined. "Fine, fine," she came running up the stairs. "What do you need?" "I can't find anything to wear." She laughed. "Come on, Brian's in there helping out your man with the same problem." "He's not 'my man'." "Oh whatever. I'll be surprised if y'all don't do it tonight." "Shut up and help me find something to wear, perv." "If you're gonna talk to me like that then you can find your own hideous outfit," she stuck her tongue out at him. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry just please help me!" She grinned and routed through the dresser. Jeremy watched in awe as she threw out a pair of khaki pants, a blue and white button down shirt and a tight wife beater. "These should show off that stomach of yours," she teased and tickled his sides. "Stop, stop," he giggled. "Thank you, Mica. You're the greatest." "I know. What would you do without me?" "I don't even wanna think about it." "Get dressed. Howie is 'picking you up' in about 15 minutes. Oh, and leave your hair down. Don't do something freaky, okay?" she pleaded. Jeremy couldn't help a chuckle. "I promise. Thanks again." She just grinned and left him to his task. She knocked on Howie's door. "Who is it?" "Mica." "Come in." she walked in to find Brian and Howie going through his closet. "Need any help?" "Are you implying that we're incapable of finding clothes?" Brian argued. "Geez. Just trying to help." "Sorry," he grumbled as a pair of jeans were tossed on the floor along with a green and white button down shirt. She picked up the two articles of clothing and smoothed them out on Howie's bed. Silently, she slipped from the room and walked down the stairs, laughing to herself. Twenty minutes later, Mica and Brian were standing in the living room, leaning against the back of the couch, waiting for Howie and Jeremy. They heard one door slam and Howie appeared, a shy smile on his lips. Mica smiled when she saw that he was clad in the outfit she had laid out for him. "Nice," she grinned as the second door closed. Jeremy timidly walked down the stairs. He felt like he was walking toward his prom date. "Hi," he whispered when he saw Howie. Nothing else mattered, just seeing Howie brought a smile to his face. "Hey," Howie offered his hand to Jeremy. A simple action that meant the world at that moment. Jeremy took it and they entwined fingers. "Now, I expect you to have him home at a decent hour, Howard," Brian said in a fatherly tone. "Yes sir, Mr. Littrell, sir," Howie grinned. "Mrs. Littrell." "Bye Mom bye Dad!" Jeremy giggled as they left. They both burst out laughing once they left the confines of the house. They climbed into Howie's car and pulled out of the driveway. "So where are you whisking me off to?" "You'll see," Howie grinned. Jeremy sat in anticipation of what Howie had in store for him. He stopped in front of a restaurant that looked closed. "Uh, Howie, is this place even open?" Howie just grinned and got out. Jeremy was about to do the same when Howie appeared and opened the door for him and held out his hand. Jeremy took it and hopped out. "A friend of mine owns this place and he agreed to close it for a few hours for us." Jeremy was rendered speechless for a second. "You really didn't have to do that," he tried to convince him. "I know but I wanted to. I wanted this to be our night." "If I don't watch myself, you'll have me on a plane to Paris," Jeremy laughed. "Plane trips are reserved for the second date," Howie grinned at him and guided Jeremy to the front entrance. He opened it for Jeremy a second time to the dimly lit restaurant as a man came out of the kitchen. "Howie," he grinned and hugged him. "Hey Mike thanks for letting us use the place tonight." "No problem. Anything for you, I'll show you to the table." Howie took Jeremy's hand as they followed Mike to a table near the back. It was away from any windows to escape prying eyes and it was open enough to feel real. That was the most perfect dinner of Jeremy's life. "So what's Ohio like?" Howie was asking Jeremy as they walked along a beach that night. Shoes in hand, the stars overhead, and two happy and connected hearts. "You've been there before." "Only for a few days. I've never really gotten to see what it was really like." "It's really flat," Jeremy laughed. "Nothing really happens. Except for the occasional drunk driver and a concert." "Nothing at all?" "Nope." They sunk into silence. Not an uncomfortable silence but one that put a smile on your face. Jeremy's hand found Howie's and gave it a light squeeze. They playfully bumped shoulders and continued walking, the sand sliding in between their toes. Howie brought the back of Jeremy's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Why Mr. Dorough, I do believe you're coming onto me," Jeremy grinned. "Would you blame me?" "There's something you should know, though." "And what would that be?" "I don't put out on the first date." Lisa lay in Nick's arms. His slow, steady breath met her neck every other moment. She traced his abdomen with the tip of her finger and smiled. "Just you wait, Nick Carter, one of these days your going to be all mine for the taking." Sorry the date wasn't very descriptive. It's 4: 51 am so my brain isn't fully functioning. :P You know how to contact me : chords4@yahoo.com