Date: Fri, 29 Jun 2001 22:07:15 -0500
From: Danni Bailey <dannibailey@hotmail.com>
Subject: No More Secrets - Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No, it's not real.  This story is purely fictional.  I don't
know them personally (unfortunately) and this story is not meant to imply
anything about their sexual preferences.  Yes, this story contains
homosexual themes, so if you are under legal age to read this type of
story, or if it offends you, please do not continue.

Just a bit of warning, if you are a HUGE Nick Carter fan, please allow me
to apologize. I'm not and it shows.  No, I don't know him either, but I
write them as I see them.

Thanks for the feedback. It really helps with my motivation.

Dara Lynn, you're NUTS.  You are the one with the talent!  I just happen to
be a Justin fanatic!


Chapter 3


Justin allowed his eyes a moment to adjust to the light before scanning the
crowd.  It was never very had to find Nick, even in a crowded club.  Look
for a huge group of women and Nick would be strategically placed in the
center.  Tonight was no different.

Nick's face lit up when he saw Justin approaching.  `Damn, he's 32 and
still one of the hottest guys I've even seen' Nick thought to himself.

"Hey, what's up?" Nick asked casually.

"Not much, but your timing was perfect.  I really needed to get out of the
house" Justin confided.

"What? Trouble in paradise?" Nick asked with more than a passing interest."

Justin nodded.  "Yeah, kinda.  Things haven't been going real good lately.
Gary doesn't understand that I need to forget about things once in a while.
He's concerned that I can't handle it.  When you called he, Josh and Danny
were trying to convince me that I needed to get some help.  That the
drinking is a problem."

"Gary's never gonna let you grow up" Nick said in a disgusted tone.  "I
can't believe you stayed with him this long."

"Nick, he's a great guy and I love him.  You never gave him a chance."

Nick had heard enough.  "Whatever.  Let's get you a drink."

They made there way to the bar with Nick's entourage in tow.

Justin had never been impressed with Nick's choice in women.  Grant it,
they were just a front anyway, but my god these girls looked like cheap
hookers.  Justin laughed to himself.  Hell, maybe they were.

Nick's taste in men was much better.  He had dated a lot of very good
looking men over the years but Justin had never known Nick to be in a
serious relationship.  Nick had a one-track mind.  Sex.  Pure and simple.

"What are you drinking?" Nick asked as they approached the bar.

"Scotch" Justin answered, somewhat distracted by the young blonde running
her hand along the inside of Nick's thigh.

"Scotch and what?"

"Just scotch.  Straight up."

Nick was surprised.  This was a first for Justin.  "Boy, someone is gonna
be nursing a hangover in the morning."

Justin shook his head.  "Nah, I'm not staying that long.  I told Gary, I'd
be home early."

Nick only grinned.  Justin wasn't going home early.  Not if he could help
it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Justin could feel the pain in his head before he was fully conscience.  It
was pounding.  Not an uncommon occurrence lately.  Your soft breathing put
him at ease.  Whatever had happened last night must not have been too bad.
Had the argument been ongoing when he got home, Justin felt sure he would
have remembered.  He rolled over to put his arm around your waist,
something that no matter how bad things got always seemed to comfort him.
He opened his eyes slowly, knowing that the impending light would only add
to his discomfort.

He was disoriented, maybe not even awake.  He wasn't sure which, but
something was wrong.  Very wrong.  Why was there staring back at him a set
of crystal blue eyes? Why was the smell of your cologne suddenly
unfamiliar?  Then the realization hit him and the sense of panic was
overwhelming.

"Nick, what the fuck is going on?"

Nick smiled mischievously "Nothing now."

"What do you mean `nothing now'?"

Nick sat up slowly, leaned toward Justin, and gently kissed his cheek.

Justin sat motionless, too shocked to move.  For the first time, he
realized both he and Nick were nude and the scenario was becoming all to
clear.  Justin could feel the churning in his stomach.  His body began to
tremble.

He could barely speak.  "Nick, you didn't?"

Nick face was now totally serious.  "No Justin, we did.

Justin's panic had now turned to rage.  "Are you out of your fucking mind?
How could you?

Nick remained calm.  "It's not like you didn't enjoy it."

"Nick I was drunk! I don't even remember leaving the club!  How could you
say I enjoyed it?  Was I even conscious?"

"Hell, yeah you were.  Come on Justin, even I have my standards."

"And your standards allow you to have sex with a married man?" Justin
screamed.

"If they're willing, why not?"

Justin's head was swimming.  He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Nick, I love Gary.  You know that."

"All I know is that last night you made love to me."

Justin was loosing control.  "No, Nick we didn't make love!  We had sex and
the thought of it makes me sick!

Nick would not let up.  "Call it what you want Justin.  All I can say
is...  you were worth the wait."

"Fuck you, Nick!"

With the sound of victory in his voice, Nick delivered the final blow "You
already did Justin"

Justin played the scenario over and over in his mind on the way home.  How
do you tell the man you love that your stupidity has destroyed what the two
of you worked 14 years to accomplish?  How do you tell him that you've
cheated in such a way that the pain you inflict is minimal?  How do you
say, "I love you", and make it sounds sincere.  He never found the answers
and as he unlocked the front door, he took a deep breath and wiped the last
of the tears from his face.

He found you sitting at the breakfast bar sipping on some juice as the
morning sun illuminated your face.  He could tell by looking at you that
your night had not been a pleasant one.

Softly, he spoke. "I guess we need to talk."

You were angry, but wanted badly to stay in control.  "You should have
called."

Justin nodded in agreement.  "I should have done a lot of things
differently last night."

"Do you have any idea what it was like sitting here wondering if you were
bleeding in a ditch somewhere?  Jumping every time the phone rang thinking
it might be the police or the hospital calling?  It was hell Justin, pure
hell!"

His voice was cracking "I'm sorry Gary.  I really am.  I never had any
intentions of staying out.  I planned on coming home early."

For the first time you looked closely at him.  His clothes looked as if he
had slept in them, his hair was uncombed and his eyes were swollen and red.
This was not the man you married, and the realization of how badly things
had become was becoming all too evident.

"Where the hell were you last night, Justin?"

"That's what we need to talk about Gary.  Nick took me back to his place.
I guess I was really drunk. I don't remember leaving the club.  I don't
remember anything."

"When are you gonna get it Justin?  Do you have any idea how stupid that
was?  Anything could have happened and you were totally out of control.
You don't even know how drunk Nick was and you let him drive you home!  You
guys could have been killed!"

Justin was loosing his nerve.  He needed to tell you now.

"Gary, I cheated on you last night."

You were sure you hadn't heard him correctly.  This was Justin talking;
your husband of over 12 years. Cheating was something you had never
concerned yourself with.  Justin had been hit on more times than you both
could remember, but whenever it had happened he just pulled you a bit
closer, smiled and said "Sorry, I'm taken."  It had become a joke to both
of you.  It was nothing that had ever been a consideration in your
marriage.  Until now.  You tried to breathe, but it felt like a huge weight
was on your chest.  Your head was swimming.  The only thing you could hear
was Justin's words over and over again.  "Gary, I cheated."  "Gary, I
cheated."  "Gary, I cheated."

Why it was important was beyond you, but you needed to know.  "Do I know
him?"

Tears were streaming down Justin's face.  "Gary, I'm so sorry.  I love
you."

"Who Justin?" you screamed.  "Who was so fucking important to you that you
could throw away our marriage?"

"Gary, please don't leave me" he pleaded "I need you."

"You didn't fucking need me last night! Answer the god damn question!"

He didn't say a word, but looked directly into your eyes with a pain that
reached to his very soul and you realized what he was trying to tell you.

"Oh my god Justin, no!  Please tell me it wasn't Nick!"

"Gary, I don't remember anything.  You know if I wasn't drunk that I'd
never cheat on you.  I love you, Gary!  Nick means nothing to me!

"And that's supposed to make it better? I don't want to hear your fucking
excuses Justin!  I promised myself that I'd never live with a drunk or a
cheat.  I'm married to both!"

You rushed past him wiping the tears from your face with the back of your
hand.  You couldn't stand to hear his voice.  You couldn't stand to look at
him.  You had to get out.

You grabbed an overnight bag from out of the closet and began to throw
whatever was in front of you into it.  Your mind was running wild. Flashing
through it was visions of you and Justin at your wedding, skiing in Tahoe
on one of your several vacations there and the look of Justin's innocent
face the first time Danni introduced him to you.  Intermingled was the
image of Nick and Justin.  There bodies intertwined and Nick caressing
Justin and kissing him passionately.  You could feel the pounding of your
heart, feeling like it would burst out of your chest in any moment.

You picked up your cell phone and hit the speed dial button.  Josh answered
on the first ring.

"Hello"

You tried to answer, even managed opened your mouth, but no sound came out.

"Justin?" he asked, recognizing the number from the caller id feature.

Finally, you took another deep breath and composed yourself enough to
speak.

"No, Josh its Gary.  I need a place to stay."

He picked up immediately that there was a serious problem "Gary, what the
hell is going on?  Where's Justin?"

"Josh, I need to come over...Now!"

"Okay, okay, no problem.  Do you need me or Danny to come get you?"

"No, I can't wait.  I'll be there in 5 minutes."  You hung up, never giving
JC a chance to say anything else.

As you opened the front door you saw Justin, sitting in the living room
with his head buried in his hands.  You could hear the sobs, but you had no
desire to comfort him.  For the first time ever, you wanted him to hurt.

For the next twelve days, your office at Marlake Entertainment became your
sanctuary.  You buried yourself in work even though working in the office
that you and Justin had shared for several years did little to take your
mind off of him.  It was a corner office, with floor to ceiling windows
overlooking one of Orlando's many lakes.  During the summer it was not
unusual for Justin to take some time off in the afternoon and grab his jet
ski and spend some time away from the constant barrage of business
decisions that were required on an almost daily basis.  As you looked out
now over the empty lake, you longed to see him once again.

The buzz of the intercom, interrupted your thoughts.

"Gary, Danni is on line 2.  Do you want to take the call?"

You could feel your heart accelerating.  She had news on Justin.  "Yeah,
Gretchen, put her through, please."

"Hi sweetheart" she said softly.  "How you doing today?"

"I'm hanging in there.  How about you?  Aren't you ever gonna give me my
niece?"

Danni laughed.  "Please don't remind me.  The doctor's been saying `any day
now' for over a week.  If I don't have her by Tuesday, then he'll induce,
so you'll have you're niece one way or the other by then."

"How's Chris holding up?"

"Oh my God, you would think this was our first baby.  He's driving me nuts.
Anyway, Chris isn't my main concern, Justin is."

You took a deep breath, hoping that today's update would be somewhat more
encouraging than the previous ones.  "How is he?"

"Not much change really.  I took him over dinner last night and he ate a
couple of bites, but just moved it around on his plate mostly.  He needs to
get out of the house, but I haven't had any luck there.

You weren't really surprised. "Justin tends to stay to himself when he's
upset.  I appreciate you checking on him."

"I love you both, Gary.  I just hope you two can work things out.  You guys
are miserable without each other."

She was right.  You missed him.  More than you ever thought possible, but
what had happened was out of your hands.

"Listen Danni, I have a meeting in a few minutes.  I should go."

"Sure sweetie, I'll let you go."  Then she continued with the real reason
for the call.  "Are you gonna be at the office all day?"

"Yes, I plan on working late, so if you decide that's its time for me to
meet my niece, just call me."

She laughed, knowing you had no idea the purpose of the question.

The meeting was as truly boring as you knew it would be.  Nothing but
forecasts and projections of what the second quarter financial statements
would show.  It was the side of business that you didn't enjoy, but knew it
was a necessary evil.  You found yourself doodling on the perfectly
designed report laying in front of you, filling in the lighter shaded areas
of the pie chart when you felt your phone vibrate, alerting you of an
incoming call.  You glanced quickly at the number, and not recognizing it,
allowed voice mail to pick it up.  You could get it later, even though at
this point being interrupted during the meeting could have been a welcomed
break.

Looking around the room you realized that a break is probably just what
this group needed.  Since your separation with Justin, you had spent the
majority of your time at work, coming in early and staying late. You had
expected your staff to do the same.  Why did the word `mutiny' suddenly
come to mind.  No one had complained, or even mentioned it for that matter,
but you know the long hours had to be getting to all of them.  Finally, the
last department had provided you with their in depth analysis and you were
free to retreat back to your office.

As you entered your office your hand automatically grabbed the remote and
pressed `play' allowing the cd player to determine what you would listen to
for the next few hours.  Your staff teased you constantly about listening
to "oldies", but it was the music that had surrounded you and Justin for
most of his career.  Somehow it was hard to think of your friends' music as
"oldies", but if that was the case, so be it.  Today's music was harsh and
loud, something you had never enjoyed even in your younger days.  A smile
came over you face as you heard Nick Lachey's voice, remembering times past
and friendships that had never been lost over the years.

You sat at your desk and began to sort the piles of paper that had somehow
magically appeared while you were in your meeting, when you remembered the
phone call.  You sat back in your chair and spun it around so you could
face the lake, relaxing for a few fleeting moments while you took the call.
The voice was somewhat familiar and the tone carried a sense of urgency.

"Mr. Martin, this is Mike Gilroy from the Department of Children's
Services.  This will be our last attempt to contact you.  We have left
three previous messages on your home phone that have gone unanswered, and
we are running out of time.  Kyle and Amanda are back in our custody,
permanently.  Currently, they are out of the state but will be flown back
to Orlando tomorrow.  Obviously, you and Mr. Timberlake were called first
since you have been foster parents to these two children before.  I need to
tell you that this is a permanent situation.  Under no circumstances will
Kyle and Amanda be returned to their natural parents.  If you are still
interested in children we will need to hear from you by no later than noon
tomorrow."

"Noon tomorrow" You looked at your watch.  You had 24 hours to make a
decision.

To be continued...

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