Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 02:32:52 EDT From: MrClean290@aol.com Subject: Destiny 15 Destiny Disclaimer: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned in this story, nor do I know about their sexual orientations. This is purely a work of fiction, its just stuff that came to my imagination. If homosexual themes and acts offend you, male or female then don't read! If you are younger than 18 and/or shouldnt be reading this, don't! wow, havent written an official disclaimer in awahile, its always good to re-iterate once in a while! Anyway, i didnt hear from many people on the last chapter. so i dont know if that was b/c of what i did to Nick, b/c no one is reading,or b/c yall r lazy! lol i'm gonna hope its the latter. PLEASE, please please send me something to know that someone is readin! thanks Feedback, comments, question, mail of anysort----> MrClean290@aol.com Chapter 15 Jas sat quietly in the lobby sipping her coffee. Ever since Nick told everyone, everything, two weeks ago, she felt terribly out of place. The entire tour was in hysterics, and she didn't want to add to the problems. She had taken to leaving her room early and returning late. She didn't want to chance running into anyone. She didn't even bother trying to see how BJ was taking all of this. Jas sat in the lobby day in and day out. Occasionally she took walks, but nothing seemed to calm her nerves. After two week of tears and talking, the tour decided to continue. Jas didn't know if she should go along with them. Everyone needed to deal with this his or her own way, and she had her own issues to deal with. Jas lay in her bed, in the late parts of the afternoon of February 13th, for the first time in along time. She just didn't have the strength to get up. She had cried herself to sleep the night before, and had woken up crying. She didn't dare leave her room. She took out her copy of Teen magazine, on the front, Leslie Bibb and Carly Pope. She felt the tears roll down her face as she looked at Carly's face. She had to do something about this whole her and Carly situation, she just didn't know what that was yet. For the first time in weeks, AJ and Brian lay in bed and did nothing. There was nothing to do. The tour would start up again in a few days, and they would go back to planning their wedding. Brian looked at AJ sleeping, and he had to fight to hold back his tears. " I don't want to lose you Alex, but I don't know what else to do." Brian whispered to his sleeping lover. " Bri?" AJ asked keeping his eyes closed as he slowly woke up. " Yes?" " You don't know what else to do about what?" " What?" " You just said you didn't know what else to do, and that you don't want to lose me, what was that about?" Brian got out of the bed and walked to the window. He could bring himself to tell the man he loved so much that he was leaving him. Brian turned back to AJ and sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up AJ's hands and held them tight. " What?" AJ tried to look into Brian's eyes, but Brian refused to meet AJ's stare. " I don't know how to say this." " Just say it." " You know I love you, I always will, but I cant be with you anymore." Brian stood quickly and walked back to the window. " What?" AJ whispered in disbelief. " I cant be the reason you and your mother never speak again, I won't do that to a family." " But you are my family, Brian, don't do this." Brian winced at the sound of his name. AJ only called him Brian when he was being dead serious. " I'm sorry AJ, but I'm leaving you." This time it was AJ's turn to wince. Brian had only called AJ, AJ once before, when he met him. After they met, and fell in love, it was Alex, J, Xander if Brian was in a cutesy mood or Alexander if Brian was mad, or wanted to be serious with him. AJ turned his head away. AJ couldn't lose Brian. If he didn't he didn't know ifhe could go on. " Please Brian, please don't do this. After everything that has happened, with Nicky and Lance's relationship, please don't leave me." " Don't throw Nick's illness in my face like that!" " I'm not! Please, I'm begging you, don't leave me, please BriTom." Brian whipped his head around to look at AJ. He was crying hysterically on the floor. AJ had come up with the name BriTom one night after the two had made love. Brian had all these names for AJ but AJ only had Bri, and Bri Bear. So, he came up with BriTom, and he only used it once in a blue moon " Don't call me that." " Why not?" " Because I love it when you call me that." " I'm sorry. No! Why should I be sorry? I love you Brian, you are the only one for me, don't turn your back on me. I can work things out with my mom. And maybe I don't want to. She hurt me and you, physically and emotionally, if I chose not to talk to her it's because of her, not you." " I don't want to cause you pain." " BriTom, I love you, you could never hurt me." " I'm sorry Alex." " I know." " Marry me?" " Of course." AJ laughed. AJ and Brian crawled back into bed and AJ fell asleep his head on Brian's chest. Brian fought off sleep. He locked up the idea of leaving AJ deep inside his heart and head. As Brian watched AJ's head rise and fall with the movement of his chest, he started to relax and soon fell asleep. Howie and Kevin sat at the edge of pool and just kicked their feet aimlessly. Instead of the usual afternoon nap, they had taken to the pool these past few weeks. The water seemed to relax the two of them. " Kev?" " Yeah?" " Are we ok?" " Why would you ask such a thing?" " I worry that's all." " Howard. I love you. I'm just so worried about Nick. I can't even try to imagine what he, Lance and BJ are going through." " I know, me too. I just don't want you too worry so much that you forget me." " Forget you? How could I ever do that?" " I don't know." Howie said quietly. He was ashamed for even bringing it up. " Howard?" " Yes?" " Come with me, I have something for you." " Now?" " Yes." Howie followed Kevin to their room. They walked in and Howie took a seat on the couch. " I was saving this for tomorrow, but seeing as how things are, right now seems like a perfect time as any." " What do you mean?" Kevin got down on his knees in front of Howie and took out a purple velvet box. " Boo?" " Howard. Ever since I met you, you have changed my life in so many ways. You make me the person that I am. And as corny and non-original, you complete me. Le amo. Te casaras? " Oh Kev. I love you too, and yes, I'll marry you." Kevin slipped the ring onto Howie's finger and the two just looked at each other. Chris and Tessa had taken the past couple of weeks to start preparing for their own marriage and baby. JC and Joey, seeing how much pain was tearing apart Nick and Lance, and BJ and Justin, promised each other that they would always be truthful, and would always be there for each other. Tessa wanted to take the same path as JC and Joey, but she was so frightened of losing Chris, she didn't tell Chris the most important thing about her pregnancy. Every morning as she woke up and sick, every night as she cried herself to sleep, she still kept her secret inside. Chris didn't seem to notice Tessa's changing, and if he did, he didn't bring it up. Mandy felt bad about Nick, but she didn't know how to help him or her friend BJ. Scott and she talked almost every moment they could. As far as happy couples go, this candy girl and Canadian rocker were the closest thing to the perfect couple. Scott's brothers didn't care for love, they were happy being kids. The men of 98* tried to concentrate on their music as much as possible. They didn't want to upset the tour anymore than it was, or at least LA, JJ, and Jeff didn't want to. Drew didn't seem to have a heart. Al he wanted was sex, and he didn't care how he got it. Jeff tried to convince him to find himself an easy fuck somewhere else, but Drew was headset on taking Kevin. Jeff just watched as his friend drove himself crazy with thoughts of Kevin Richardson. The more time Jeff thought about Drew and his crazy ideas, the more Jeff wanted to be near Drew. The main reason jeff agreed to his crazy plan in the first place was his hopes that Drew would realize that love was right infront of him. But Drew didn't see that, and Jeff was beginning to wonder if he ever would. Jess and Katie spent most of their time together. Jess didn't know how she could help the situation, so she stayed out of it. She didn't notice that Jas never talked to anyone, at all. But occasionally she talked to Katie, and Jess wondered why, of all people on tour, she would talk to her girlfriend. Katie and Jas walked around the track at the hotel gym. The two had become quite chummy over the past few weeks. Katie thanked her for bring her back to Jess, she wanted to repay her somehow, so when Jas came to her, wanting to know about Carly, it was the least she could do. " What do you want to know?" " Everything! Sorry, I only know what she was like when we were twelve or thirteen. She's nineteen now, I want to know everything about her." " I understand. She's a very private person. I was surprised when she talked to TP, she likes to keep her personal life personal. But she's a wonderful person. Very sweet. She loves to laugh." " Me too." Katie smiled at Jas's simple statement. " She is the youngest on the show, but she loves the cast as if they were a second family. Leslie Bibb and she are the best of friends. She, Tamara, and Sarah are like sisters. She loves what she does." " That's good. Katie?" " Yes?" " Nothing. Never mind." " What? Tell me." " How do I find her? She comes back into my life to give me this cross and then leaves. What do I do?" " I'll help you." " You will?" " Yes. Come on, lets get back to the room and I'll giver her a call." " Katie? Thanks." " You're welcome." Britney and Christina used those weeks to relax. They had no problems in their relationship. They tried to be useful to anyone who needed to talk. Christina stayed up nights while Justin and Britney talked. Justin seemed to only turn to Brit when he was upset. This didn't bother Chris that much. But she started to wonder where her girlfriend was. Christina tried to reach out to BJ but BJ wasn't letting anyone close to her. BJ sat on Lance's bed and waited for him to get dressed. He walked out of the bathroom smiling. " Hey Beej." " Hey yourself. How are you today?" " Good." " Why is that?" " I don't know, I'm just tired of moping around, waiting for Nick to do something. I love him, but this is ridiculous." BJ stopped smiling. Lance was lying to her. Nick had not left his room in two weeks. Lance didn't even try to comfort him. BJ thought at first it was because the two were scared of where this left their relationship, but over time BJ realized that Lance wanted nothing to do with a man that he could not make love to, and Nick knew it too. As Lance pulled away from Nick, Nick pulled away from everything and everyone. Nick sat on his bed and stared out the window. He saw no reason to live anymore. He thought that soon enough he would be dead so why bother. He started to pack his bags. If he was going to die, he wanted it to happen at home. ( Christopher Gorham will go by CG, and Leslie Bibb will go by Lessy.) Carly sat with her friends in between takes. She laughed along with them inside she was hurting, for Jas and Katie. Katie had been calling her every night with updates from the tour and about Jas. She had told Carly about Nick. Carly couldn't believe that one of the Backstreet Boys was sick. Katie also told Carly that Jas wanted to find her. " Hey Car, what's up babe?" " Oh, uh nothing. I should go rehears, see you later Lessy." " Wait I'll come with you." The two girls walked slowly to the set. Lessy looked at her friend and wondered what was troubling her. Carly was usually full of life, and bouncing with laughter, but lately, Leslie and Bryce were lucky if they got a smile out of her. " Car, its none of my business what you and Bryce do, but are you two having trouble?" " No." " Then what is it? Don't you love him anymore?" " I think I do, its just that." " It's just that what?" " I found Jas again. I want her back Leslie." " Shit. I don't know what to tell you." " I know." " Does Bryce know?" " No." " Tell him, he loves you." " I know." " Please Carly, you're worrying me." " Why?" " You never smile anymore and on camera it's forced and looks fake." " I'm sorry. It's just that, I love this job. I do. I love you Lessy, you're my best friend, but my heart has been missing a piece for so long. And I think that if I had Jas back or at least talked to her than I would be whole again." " Then you need to talk to her." " I know, I guess I'll try to work something out next time Katie calls." " Katie? As in Holmes?" " Yes." " This involves a lot of people doesn't it?" " More than you know." " How many?" " Have you read the latest issue of TP?" " No, why?" " I have a few copies in my dressing room, take one and read it and then you'll understand how incredibly fucked up this situation is." " I'll do that now, you sire you're ok?" " I'm fine, I'm gonna go talk to Bryce now. Les? Thanks." " No problem hun. Anytime." Les walked off to Carly's room and Carly to Bryce's room. When she came to the door, she knocked. Usually she walked right in, but today, she was nervous. Bryce was her boyfriend. She loved him very much, but inside she felt as if she was lying to him by not telling him about her bisexuality. She looked up at the name placard on the door: Bryce Johnson. Carly could feel the tears swell up in her eyes. Not wanting to cry she quickly rapped her knuckles against the door. " Come in." " Hey Bry." " Carly, sweetheart, what's wrong?" " I need to talk to you." " Okay, lets sit. What's on tour mind?" Carly looked at her boyfriend. He had so much love, for her, inside his heart; she could see it in his eyes. She didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't keep lying to him either. " Bry, I've keeping something from you." "What is it?" Bryce took her hand in his and rubbed it gently. " Oh g-d, I don't deserve you!" " How can you say that?" " I think I love someone else." Bryce dropped her hand for a second but picked it up again. " What?" " Bry, I love you, I do, but there's so much about me you don't know." " Like what?" " I'm bi." " You're what?" " Bisexual, and there's this girl-." " No, stop, wait, go back. I don't understand." " Look I don't know how to explain this all to you." " Just tell me everything, form the beginning." " When I was eleven, I was depressed. My parents sent me to a clinic for depressed kids. It was like magic, I got there, and I started to get better. My second year, I met a girl named Jasmine. She was like an angel. I didn't have many friends, but when Jas came into my life, everything got better. We were attached at the hip. We were in love. We were so young that we didn't exactly know what love meant but over the years that we were together, I think it was a year and a half that we were together, we were as in love as two young girls could get. When she was about thirteen, she left the clinic to go live with another family. A few months after her release my parents came and got me. I continued to live my life. I went to school. Even got into college. Then suddenly I find myself in Hollywood and acting on this wonderful show and falling in love with you. But Jas was always on my mind and in my heart. I just didn't know who she was anymore. I didn't even know if that was her name. I went by Dani when I was in the clinic. I was ashamed that I had let my family down, so I didn't want anyone to know who I was. So I used a name I had always loved. Danielle. So maybe Jas was using an alias too. But after years of wondering, a nurse from the clinic contacted me and wanted to know if I would make a statement to Teen People about a Jasmine Bass. At first I was confused why they wanted me, then I realized that the girl they were doing a feature on, was my Jas. I found out so many things about her, and I made a small statement to the magazine, in hopes of finding her. I found out where she was staying a few weeks ago, I went to Vegas, gave her a small gift, a cross, and then came back here. Now, Katie is calling me and telling me more and more about her. I need to go to her. I need to find out about her. I don't think my heart will feel whole until I do." " I see." " Bryce?" " I don't quite understand-." Just then, Lessy rushed into the room. " Holy Shit Les, don't you knock?" " Sorry Bryce, Car, you didn't tell me how fucking fucked up this magazine would be." " I know, I am sorry." " Don't be sorry, I'm just confused as hell." " So am I." " You told him? " You knew all this?" " Yes, I told him, and yes she knew." " Ok well we can argue about his later, but I finished reading, Kathy is gonna kill me for ruining all the work she did on my face, but anyway, Kat's on the phone, she sounded urgent, line 3." Carly picked up the telephone and hoped for the best. " Hello? Katie?" " Hey what's wrong?" " Nothing, Les said it was urgent." " Not really." " I'm gonna kill her, but later, what up?" " She wants to see you. I've told as much as I know." " I want to see her too." " She knows about Bryce I had to tell her, does he know?" " He does now." " Oh. Well can you come out here?" " When?" " I was thinking tomorrow, it could be a Valentine's gift." " Cute, I like it, I think I can get the time off. Great, we're at the Hilton in Vegas, yeah we haven't left, its starting to look like home around here. Anyway, come to my room, it's 543 ok? Tonight tomorrow whenever just come as soon as possible." " I will, thanks." " Don't think about it. Just come!" Carly hung up and turned back to Bryce and Lessy who were now joined by Ron, Tamara, Tammy, Sarah, Leslie, and Christopher. They all looked at her with worried faces. " Y'all shouldn't worry so much, I'm fine." " Carly, you're from Canada, what with the y'all?" Ron laughed at her. " I think it's cute." " Sure it is." " Shut up CG, let her smile, it's a nice change." Tammy smiled at her. " Thanks Tam. Now if only Nicole could be as sweet as you." " Aww shush you." " Look, I'm gonna be leaving tonight for Vegas, we have a few days off, so if any of you wanna come with me, pack your bags we leave tonight." " Vegas, yeah baby!" " CG, what are you thinking?" " I'm thinking about the perfect gift for Anel." " You are not eloping in Vegas, I won't see it." Tamara tried to keep a straight face while talking to CG but couldn't and busted up laughing. " What's so funny Mello?" " I'm trying to imagine the look on Anel's face when she hears about her fiancee's plan." Everyone else thought for a bit and started to laugh as well. " It's not that funny." " No of course not. Look I don't know about the rest of y'all, like that Car? But I'm gonna go and pack, Vegas here I come." Tammy said proudly. " Vegas watch out, here she comes." Ron said under his breath. " I heard that!" Carly watched as her friends left the room to pack up, and pack some things for their trip. She turned back to see if Lessy was still there, she wasnt, but Bryce was. She walked to him, they were standing nose to nose. They bent their heads together, their foreheads touching. " If you need to find this girl to be happy than I'll help you. And if you need to love and be with this girl than I'm behind you. I love you Carly, and I only want what's best for you." " I love you too. And thank you. I don't know if anything will come of this, nor do I know if I want anything to. But I need to give it the chance." " I understand, now come one lets get packed." " Thank you Bry. I love you." " I know." Carly watched as her boyfriend walked out of his room and to the set to wrap up shooting. She sat on his couch and wondered what she doing. She was sure that once she got to Vegas, she was going to be responsible for hurting someone, and Carly hated hurt. But she didn't know what else to do. She went to her room and got her things ready. Nick couldn't bring himself to pack. He wasn't sick yet. He had pills to take every day; the pills could keep him healthy for years. He was in great shape and he rarely got sick. But this time the sickness was not physical, but emotional. His heart was breaking and he didn't know how to stop it from doing so. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well? it gets better, i promise, well i think its good now, but to each thier own. Please tell what you think, more to come soon! Thanks! ~Elisheva MrClean290@aol.com