Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2000 22:14:15 EDT From: MyKaHoLLy@aol.com Subject: Dirty Little Secrets 7 Author's Note: Hi everyone! What's up?! I got my voice back, finally. In case you didn't know, I had gone to an NSync concert and screamed the entire time. Then I threw my voice out singing the next day. I lost my voice. I just got it back. :) Disclaimer: NSync is not gay. This is not real. If you aren't suppsoed to read this, don't. NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!! * * * * * * Justin stood at the front gate of Universal Studios, awaiting JC's arrival. He paced nervously. He had no idea what he was going to tell JC. He didn't want JC to be mad at him, so he couldn't tell JC the truth. But if he lied to JC and JC found out, JC would be even angrier at him. He wanted to blame it on Lance but Lance hadn't done anything wrong. Justin had been the one putting all the moves on Lance. Justin was the one that cheated. Justin was the one to blame. Not Lance. Justin still didn't know who he wanted. JC was the one he loved most. No question about it. But JC didn't love him back. Lance loved him with all his heart. But JC had been there through all his problems. He had known JC longer. But Lance was... Lance. He was a great listener. He was nice to everyone. He was smart. But so was JC. JC was all those things and more. JC was hott. JC was good at basketball. Fuck! He was not going to hold that against Lance. Justin stopped his pacing as he saw JC walking towards him. He glanced towards Britney, who was arguing with Christina about who was hotter, Ryan Phillippe or Freddie Prinze Jr.. Justin sighed. He walked slowly towards JC. He was terrified of JC. JC would be the one to break him. JC would destroy him as soon as he found out about Lance. "Hi Josh," Justin said, scared. JC immediately noticed the fear in Justin's voice. He knew that something had happened. That much was obvious but what all had Justin and Lance done. Damnit! Lance was going to pay for this. "Hey Justin," he said. Justin forced a smile onto his face. "Ryan and TJ aren't here yet. They're apparently bringing Tate with them." he expained. He didn't want to talk to JC about Lance yet. Oh God! He loved JC so much. He didn't want to lose him. "JC," Christina cried running towards the brown haired man. She pulled JC into a hug. She pulled back from the hug and looked at JC. She looked at Justin quickly, seeing the sadness and confusion on his face. She grabbed JC's hand and led him away from Justin. "So, what have you been up to?..." Britney stood next to Justin. "Are you going to tell him?" she asked. Justin shrugged. "I know that I have to. I just don't want to lose him." he said, watching as JC sat on a bench next to Christina. He turned to Britney. "I'm so stupid! I should have never cheated on him. I should have been happy that I had him. But I don't really have him. He doesn't love me." Britney grasped Justin's hand, trying to comfort her friend. "I think he does. He just doesn't realize it, yet." she said. Justin nodded, unable to think of the words to say. He turned away from Britney, watching JC and Christina chat. He stared at JC and smiled. JC was so hott. "Justin! Britney!" a scream came from behind them. Justin spun around to see 3 figures running towards them. At first he thought they were fans but at a closer look he realized that they weren't. "Guys!" he shouted running towards the 3 men. He stopped a few feet from the guys, regaining his composure. "Hey." he said as cooly as he could. "So I see your still dating Britney." TJ said. "Actually, no. I'm not." Justin said. "Yea. Me date this loser?" Britney said pretending to be disgusted by the thought. "I got outta that phase a long time ago." Justin punched Britney playfully, not realizing his strength. Britney rubbed her arm. That had actually hurt. It wouldn't have hurt a guy but she was a girl. A very delicate girl that bruised easily. "So, anyways, do you want to go to Islands of Adventure or the normal park?" Justin asked, changing the subject. "Islands of Adventure." TJ, Ryan, Tate, and Christina said in unison. "I vote the normal park." JC said. "How about we go to both?" Justin suggested. He didn't want to disappoint JC or his MMC friends. "Sounds good to me," JC said. He wanted to ask Justin what he had done with Lance but he couldn't. Not yet. He would ask Justin when they were alone. Together, they headed toward Islands of Adventure. They paid their way in and walked into the park. Justin looked around at the various rides. "Hell yea!" he cried, running toward a rollercoaster with a very short line. He hated waiting but he had to if he didn't want to give his identity away. He wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with teeny boppers. * * * Justin walked through the gates, headed toward his car. It was late. The sky was dark and the park was closing. TJ, Ryan, and Tate had left at around 9. They had said they had to catch a plane early the next morning. Christina and Britney had left an hour later, leaving Justin and JC alone. Now the two boys were making their way to Justin's BMW. Justin hopped into the front seat and started up the car. He waited until JC was in, then took off through the nearly deserted parking garage. JC turned to Justin, placing his hand on Justin's thigh. "Are you gonna tell me?" he said. He was suddenly impatient. He didn't want to wait any longer to hear what Justin had done. He had to know. Justin looked at JC, sadly. He didn't want to tell JC. He wasn't ready. He knew that he had to tell JC now. He pulled into a Wal-mart parking lot and turned off his car. "Your suspicions were right." he said, looking away from JC. He couldn't look at JC. He would break down. JC sighed, closing his eyes. He felt his heart sinking. He was on the verge of tears. Justin had told JC he loved him but then he goes and cheats on JC. There was something wrong with that picture. If Justin had truly loved him he wouldn't have cheated on him. JC wondered why it hurt so much. It shouldn't have hurt that much. He finally realized why it hurt so much. He was in love with Justin. "Why?" he asked, struggling to hold back his tears. "I don't know. It was just too tempting. Lance was right there and I knew he wanted to kiss me, so we kissed and then it evolved from there." Justin said, truthfully. He didn't know why he had done it. "I am so sorry, Josh." he said pleading with his eyes for forgiveness. JC turned away from Justin. "Sometimes sorry is not good enough." he said. Justin fell forward, banging his head on the steering wheel. He sobbed loudly. Tears flowed down his cheeks. He didn't try to stop them. He let them flow freely. He felt terrible. He had ruined his relationship with JC. "I'M SORRY!" he screamed. JC wanted to take Justin into his arms and kiss away all his problems but he knew he had to be strong. He couldn't fall apart now. He looked away. He could see Justin's reflection in the window. He felt a tear fall from his eye. He quickly reached up and wiped it away. Justin grabbed onto JC, wrapping his arms around his now ex-lover. "I love you, Josh!" he cried out. "I love you!" JC looked down at Justin. He couldn't stop himself as his arms came up and wrapped around Justin's shaking body, holding the younger man close to him. He was so confused. He didn't want to let Justin go but he didn't know for sure that Justin would do it again. 'Oh God!' he thought. 'What am I going to do?' * * * * * I had no clue where to stop at so I just stopped here as soon as NSync came on TV. They rule in concert! Okay, anyways, if you want to see my 5th row concert tix go to http://www.gurlpages.com/writing/nsyncsecret/images/ Visit my webpage y'all! http://www.maxpages.com/nsyncsecrets/ E-mail me feedback at: Mykaholly@aol.com -or- myka_holly@ureach.com