Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2000 03:15:24 EST
From: WriterGray@aol.com
Subject: Don't Want You Back-Part 16

Warning! If you not old enough leave otherwise enjoy it, it's fiction!

Again, read the other great series' out there. There are a lot of them and
I am way behind myself. But to the other authors I know you all will
appreciate this I am a true fan of your work.

Feedback is welcome good or bad: writergray@aol.com

(Authors notes are now at the end)

Last time

"I love you Michael," Kevin whispered and I whispered back and before we
knew it, it was morning again.


                      Don't Want You Back-Part 16
                         'Breaking the bonds'
                          By Grayson S Vellar


"Guys!" I heard Brian's voice shout as he approached our closed bedroom
door.

"Yeah Brian, I'm awake," I heard Brian laugh at that as Kevin still lay
sound asleep next to me. "You can open the door we're both covered up" I
said back to the door.

As the door opened, I saw the most stunning thing I have ever seen in my
life. It was Brian but there was something different about him something he
was cleared of. Some kind of magical moment had happened for this beaming
face to be so bright. I was taken in by his very eyes he bright smile and
his hair out of place. There was something different about my friend this
morning some new.

"Brian what's up?" I asked breaking my own stare.

"Not much, I wanted to let you both know that Howie said Glen will be
released this morning. The cops are afraid to let him out of their site so
they are sending him home with a guard," I heard the words and immediately
a siren went off in my head.

"If a guard is with him all the time Brian then he and Howie won't." I was
cut off by the look on Brian's face as the urgency of his expression caused
me to stop.


"Michael, it will be alright. His brother will be watching out for him. No
stranger but Rorry," Brian said smiling again.

"Rorry?" Kevin asked sitting up next to me.

"Yes, Rorry," Brian said in a much lower voice as look of sadness crossed
through his eyes.

"Brian stay clear of him for you own good. At least until you know more
about him," Kevin said in stern voice and calming greatly as I reached over
and grabbed his arm.

"Brian, I know this is going to sound weird but what happened to you last
night," I asked and saw the look of hesitation on his face.

"I just figured out what I want and there are a lot of people who fit into
that mold right now," Brian said as the phone rang on the nightstand on my
side of the bed.

"Hello," I asked only to be shouted at.

"Kevin where the hell have you been?" A woman yelled into the phone
frantically. I immediately realized what I had done.

"I'm sorry this is Mike, Kevin's friend. Let me go up stairs and wake him
up," I said covering the mouthpiece of the phone. Kevin gave me a confused
look as I handed him the phone.

"Hello," Kevin said as cheerily as he could into the phone.

"Kevin where the hell are you?" I heard the woman scream. I looked up and
caught Brian with his mouth hanging open almost hitting the floor.

"Kristin?" Kevin asked into the phone and all the color in my face must
have drained out as I realized all the stories I had read about Kevin and
his mysterious girlfriend were true.

"Kristin? I whispered asking more myself than anyone else. Kevin looked
over at me as he saw the shock on my face he nearly dropped the phone.


Jive records.

"Jack we really need to get a handle on this whole boy out of control spin
you have set things into," Judy said setting herself down in the office
chair across from him.

"Judy it is already under control," Jack responded shocking even Tony with
how civil the two of them were acting.

"Tony, I understand you will be with us here at the company now. Welcome
aboard," Judy said extending out her hand to him. Tony was confused
completely now as he shook the hand of the woman that he knew hated him so
much right now.


Orlando General

"Now under normal circumstances you would not be out of my sight for at
least another 2 to 3 days. But, since this being so important to your own
safety and all. I think it would be best if you went and rested up at
home. No moving around, no staying awake for endless hours, you need your
rest and I will be checking in with Mr. Duroughs here to make sure you're
getting plenty of it," Dr. Jepson said while holding the release form in
his hand. He had taken over the case as soon as last evening when the
Hospital finally took into the consideration of the profile of the
situation. Wanting no more repercussions to befall them, they brought Mark
Jepson onto the scene.

"Thank you Mark," Howie said remembering him from the time Nick had been in
for stitches and had been seen by this very man.

"Howie it is my pleasure now get him into bed," Mark said turning to leave.

"I will," Howie replied to which the doctor turned immediately around and
faced him again.

"I mean it Howie rest and only rest. No fooling around, just rest," Howie
was flabbergasted at the comment. He had no idea the doctor was aware of
how delicate the situation really was.

"I will see to it that he rests," Howie said as Glen was wheeled passed him
by Rorry who was trying to do his best not to laugh as the whole scene.
Back at the House..

"Kristin? I whispered asking more myself than anyone else. Kevin looked
over at me as he saw the shock on my face he nearly dropped the phone.

"Kristin this is a really bad time.." I heard her she was screaming at
him. She was screaming at the man I loved. I was pissed I was livid as I
threw the bed covers off of myself and grabbed my pants pulling them on
without listening to anything else that was to be said. He would no doubt
tell me later what was going on... later. Was it all worth it? The closer
we got to each other there was always something in the way. Why would I
want to wait around to hear the verdict?

"Later" I said in a low voice as I searched the room for my keys.

"Michael!" Kevin shouted as I found them and grabbed my keys from the
dresser. I picked up my wallet and took one last look at him telling him to
speak. But nothing, nothing, came out of my mouth. 'It was to be me, it was
to be us!' I wanted to scream it. I wanted to make it clear that he just
blew it all. He had no excuse to tell me. I already knew all the
reasons. Second to a dream this was the best and worst I had ever lived.

'Why would it be real. I should be used to being used.'

"Stop Michael," Brian said to me as I stood facing him at the door. I shook
my head at him as I pushed past him and ran head long into Keith who had a
very sad and distraught look on his face.

"He should have told you. He should." Brian stepped out and watched as I
just held up my hand at him telling him to stop.

"You're right Keith. He should have but he didn't, his eyes did," I said
walking down the hallway to the top of the stairs.

"Tell him I said I should have known. Tell him things this real this sure
are never as they seem. Tell him I love him I always will," I said as Keith
approached me. I pushed him away as he attempted to pull me into his
arms. I couldn't let this happen, not here, not now. Why be the one needing
comfort. I pushed him harder than I intended and he stumbled backwards.

"Tell him yourself," he spat out at me and turned to walk back down the
hall to Kevin's room where he still talked into the phone no doubt to his
loving Kristin.

I headed down the stairs and across the living room. This house and all
things about it would always be ingrained into my mind. These rooms, where
I walked through to have a dream. The kitchen was alive with AJ and Nick
sitting talking to one another. I had hopped it would be a quick exit. But
no luck was on my side as I walked through with them close behind me.

"Tell him I said I should have known. Tell him things this real this sure
are never as they seem. Tell him I love him I always will," I said as
walked out the front door and stood facing the street just beyond. Nick
placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Tell him from your heart how you feel and he will listen," Nick said.

"I did," I said in a low voice as I took the small step off the porch and
headed over to my Explorer. A gentle breeze brushed the scent of the ocean
air through my nostrils as I reached for the handle of the door. I stood
taking in the moment one more time.

Jeff pulled up into the driveway stopping behind my car and stepped out
just as I stepped into mine. He was confused and I knew I would have to
explain this to him some time.  Being stabbed by Kevin was something I
would have never expected. Especially, since he claimed he loved me, it was
just another shock to my system I couldn't handle.

Glen had done these things to me to often, be it fair to judge Kevin on the
same grounds, be it fair for me to judge. I started the engine and hit play
on the stereo. This music, this music that had started all of this in
motion pumped out of the stereo. I locked the door and rested my head on
the steering wheel. If I was to leave him, I was to think about it. I was
to make up my mind and not look back. But he had to come to me he had to
make me feel and understand. I was stubborn when I was hurt. Would he come?
I never would have given it a thought before now. Everything had been too
perfect.

I stayed like that and concentrated on working it all out in my own way. I
could hear him calling me. I could hear him calling me, haunting me, and
making me want to let him in.  Wanting to make him true to my own
thoughts. Wanting to make him true to his heart and let me see what was
truly there. True, one thing was real and just... my own heart. I looked at
the ring on my finger and began to cry as I remembered what it had
meant. It meant everything that I had grown through in this life was worth
it although I could never completely tell him everything I had learned or
what it had meant.

I felt the elation from when he gave it to me. Although at the time I could
not describe it, I could clearly feel it now. Happiness, pure unadulterated
happiness from a man who claimed to be real. Could someone who had claimed
to be so happy with me honestly lie to me and make me think another was not
his. Had I let it all go to my head and was it real? Even more confused I
began to blame myself. I had wanted this so bad I had let my heart get
involved. I could hardly blame the man for falling into my arms when I was
pulling him into them the whole while.

The feelings I had the other night giving him the ring. It was all real
then, when had I fooled myself into believing this was real? When had that
mistake come into play? What had I done wrong to make all of this real in
my head. I was convinced it was my fault.  This was one of the flaws, Glen
had taught me to see; in my living with him, my self-suffocation was just a
dream. When I wanted something, I convinced myself I would have it.

"You may want to sit down for me," I said as a stool made its way behind
him it was all coming back to me as 'Show Me The Meaning' began to play in
the car stereo.

"I have been waiting a long time to do this properly and with the right
person. Your it, you know how I feel. But." I reached into my front pocket
feeling my father's wedding band.

"I also know what is right. I know from watching my parents and their love
what makes a happy couple. My father died several years ago, as most
everyone knows. Much like yours, he was a caring man with a heart so big no
one could believe he was gone. Kevin, Jeff can tell you what he meant to me
and what I felt the day he died. I never wanted to believe it I never could
believe it until." I started to let the tears fall down my cheeks as I
gripped the steering wheel. I knew it was real when I asked him; it still
was in my heart.  I could still feel it. What was I going to do? I loved
him?

"Until the day my mother gave me the one thing that meant so much to them
both. It was the sign of life for them. It was not just a ring. It was the
un-began beginning and the never-ending line that formed it into a
circle. It was the sign of unending love they shared with no beginning or
end. It was his ring," I said holding out palm up to him and I cried.

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I shouted slamming my fists into the dash. I had made
the first moves I had set all of this up. I had done this to myself. I
cried harder than I ever have in my entire life. My world was completely
shattered. Then my life changed again, all the moments after the initial
meeting changed my life.  Everything stopped as I remember the nervousness
the sweet dumb expression he had. He asked me latter in front of
everyone. He confessed his love for me to his friends. After a few days of
knowing each other and wanting each other and now we live as one. We had
shown everyone what we wanted. Not just me not just him. It was both of
us. As much as I had asked him first, he asked me still and I had no idea
he was going too. I cried even harder now never noticing the driver's side
door opening.

"God why do I love him and loss him to all the things. I meant what I said,
so why!" I asked not really asking anyone or expecting an answer. But the
door was open and there stood the one person I would have never expected to
care.

"I remember what you said to him. I know you and I know you meant it," Glen
said sending my mind back to the ring the scene and the things I had said
showing him my love. I showed him I loved him and I should have heard my
own words of wisdom.

"It was the sign of unending love, it was the sign of the times they shared
good and bad.  It was the bond that made it all work. Because love never
changes, only the days and times that surrounded it do," I felt my hands
tighten around the steering wheel as I began to wale at the thought of love
hurting so much and being so true.

"Scoot over," I heard him say.

"Come on Michael Scoot over. I shouldn't be standing here," I heard Glen's
voice. I was horrified that it was him. Honestly, this was the last person
I wanted to talk to now. I looked up, saw everyone standing near the front
of the car, and a tow truck driver standing there hold his tools as he had
just opened my door. Kevin was setting on the small porch leaning on Keith
as if in comfort.

"Keith wins," I said looking over at Glen as he now rested his hand on my
shoulder.

"No, that's your first problem though," Glen said giving me a shove.

"Either let me in or you get out. I should not even be standing. But, I
know this is my fault," Glen said as I began to slide across the car into
the other seat.

"No, it's mine," I said talking in a raspy voice as I settled into the
seat.

"Why is that?" Glen asked taking a bottle of water from Howie who stood
nearby.

"I think to much. I accept too easily. I expect people to be honest from
the start and continue to be, well after we are together." I said looking
at Kevin as he still sat motionless.

"You used to trust so easily and let people explain later. After me you
have a right to hesitate in accepting what people say."

"Don't take on my own insecurities here Glen. Sure you have a lot to do
with the way I think about things, but I know me well enough to know this
is my fault too."

"Just scoot over," Glen said and I allowed him to step into the car. "You
always were stubborn," Glen said wincing in pain as he stepped up.

"Look who talking your in pain and wont leave me the hell alone," I said
looking at him sharply as Howie came to the door pissed at my remark. Glen
reached over and closed it as soon as he could and locked the door.

"This is doing you no good too," Glen said turning off the stereo.

"Wait I kind of forgot it was playing," I said smiling at him to try and
break the ice between him and I.

"Wait? Forgot?" Glen asked and then continued. "If I didn't know any better
I would say your stalling," Glen said and leaned back into the seat a
little.

"So, how bad is the pain?" I asked changing the subject.

"Bad, and your not going to get away that easily," Glen replied.

"Okay I can see I am getting no where here," I said reaching for the handle
to leave.

"Don't even think about it the guys will stop you before you get down the
driveway," Glen said only making me want to run faster.

I opened the door and sat looking at him and when I noticed the guys
remaining at the head of the car I made a run for it. I only made it to the
end of the driveway before I felt the arms pull me back. There was no noise
from anyone as I was drug over the small lawn. I fell back onto who ever
was pulling me. I landed with a loud crack to my skull I must have hit
something as pain shot through out my head. There was plenty of shouting as
Glen began to yell from the front of the car and I was tackled completely
as someone landed on top of me. I could feel the back of my head throbbing.

"Let him go!" I heard Glen shout.

"No," a voice rang through my head. It was not Kevin; it was Keith who was
holding me.

I began to kick to pull away. "Get off of me!" I shouted at the top of my
lungs.

"Why?" I heard Brian shout back.

"Because I want to leave and none of you have a right to stop me," I said
calmly. I stopped fighting in Keith's arms. I stopped moving underneath the
pile of people.  But no one moved an inch.

"He's right," Jeff said walking up and I could barely make him out.

"No he is going to stop he hit his head pretty hard there on the sprinkler
head," Keith said still not letting go.

"I think I can take care of myself and the bump on my head. None of you
have a reason to care one way or another," I said trying to set up again.

"I do," Kevin said standing next to Jeff now.

"Care all you want Kevin it's to late now. You have Kristin you always had
Kristin. You should have had the balls to tell me about her!" I shouted
trying to break free.

"I should have told you myself about her," Kevin said in a low voice.

"Oh God what excuse can anyone come up with here. I made this happen. I
should have listened to Fatima from the beginning. She tried to tell me to
get to know you first. Hell I feel like I have lied to myself more than
anything else," I said standing up as Keith let me go. Kevin tried to help
me to my feet as he reached out to me. I took his hand not realizing what I
was doing. As much as I wanted to fight with him I couldn't I gently pulled
away and looked at him square in the face.

"I do love you and all of this is probably some big mistake that I just
can't deal with right now. I pushed this all to happen in my head. I wanted
you to love me and I gave you no outs Kevin. So go to her make her you
heart as you always claims she has been," I looked down at the shocked
faces that still lay in a pile on the ground. Glen made his way around my
car and closed the door with it still running.

"Glen if there is one thing you taught me it's that I deserve to be loved
for me and only me. There is no second guessing love. Either it is real or
it just isn't and you are living a lie. If he ever loved me he would have
told me the truth from the start." I turned and walked to the driver's side
of the car. He never said a single word. Kevin just stood there holding it
all together, as I knew he would. Once in private he would show his
emotions.  Once in the confines of his house he would release how he
felt. Then he did it he broke character he made his move.

"Stop Mike please for all we mean to each other stop!" Kevin shouted
huddling down on the ground. I stopped dead in my tracks of all the things
I knew about him; this was something new. This was something I would have
never expected out of Kevin.

"Why Kevin? Just tell me why?" I pleaded as I pounded my hands on the hood
of the car.

Several people had stopped on the street in this quiet little neighborhood.

"I love you and only you, can't you see it," Kevin asked.

"I can see that and this is not a test Kevin. I love you too, but I am
tired of being hurt and confused. I am tired of being scared everyday that
I am going to loss you in some way or another. If I have to fight another
day for my sanity then I can't go on. We have had nothing but drama and
dismay since we got together. This is life so be it. But, I keep feeling
like maybe, just maybe, if I wasn't here it would all go away," I said no
longer looking at him but now looking down at the hood where I had just
slammed my hands down. I had left a mark. I had scarred the car in a moment
of rage. Was this what life was to be like?

"Without you I have no sanity," Kevin said and the guilt began to creep
around my edges.

"Without me you live the life everyone thinks you have," I said taking hold
of the handle on the driver's side door.

"Please," Kevin said tears streaming down his face. "I love you Michael
what do you want me to do," Kevin asked as I stepped up in the car and
lowered the passenger window. Jeff looked at me with dismay in his
eyes. The guys all watched as I leaned over to the passenger side.

"Get in," I said to Kevin changing my plan changing my mind. I love him
want him I need him as much as he needs me. But to prove it we would have
to act.  Kevin eagerly climbed in, as everyone else looked completely
confused.

"I want the day with you. No phones no guys. No interruptions just us. If
you can prove to me that our lives are about us; then there is no turning
back Kevin," He smiled at me and tried to lean in to kiss me. At first, I
hesitated and then I leaned in to meet him. The kiss was soft and gentle
and there was no holding back. I knew he loved me and I certainly love
him. But we still had to prove it was about us and not some idea of us, I
wanted the real thing. It had to be just the two of us. Kevin threw his
cell phone to Keith who was smiling broadly.

We left the driveway and I headed immediately for the most private place I
could find.  The beach not the publicized over populated beach but the
beach. If we could be us there and no one would interrupt then we would
have our time our life. He would explain to me the reasons for lying but
not now. Not today, I wanted to know, but it seemed less important than any
of this we were about to do.


Outside views of us the two that afternoon and night.

The two walked along the rock-riddled shore all day and it soon passed to
night. There was no pretense, as the two knew why they had come here. Being
so far apart yet living in the same house had made their desires for one
another grow from the first day until this very moment. Neither of them
knew exactly what they were doing. But just being together brought on a
satisfaction, neither would have expected. Not a single person remained on
the beach other than them in their minds.

The hue's of orange and purple criss-crossed the sky bringing every shadow
and cloud to life as they marveled in the beauty both next to them and in
the sky. The sand was warm as it caressed their feet while they walked in
the comfort and splendor of this evening's setting sun. As they reached a
small cove neither hesitated nor said a word as each pulled the other into
an embrace.

Here they stand set away from the intrusive world of housemates, money and
power.  Neither wanted it to end as they reached for one another. A kiss so
gentle so pure set their lips and hearts on fire. A gentle stroke, a
sliding hand, searching for flesh in the chilled sea air. Searching out the
electric rush of another soul as the night air chills their skin slightly
as articles of clothing fall away. Gentle still in their endeavors as they
stare into the eyes of each other. Caught here in their silent blessings
and hidden prayers as they are answered finally. Love true to it's own
emotion. Love true to it's own accord.

One pulls the other to the waters edge. Neither clothed, neither worried,
as they walk hand and hand until they are engulfed in the water's
warmth. Smiles of the heart spread wide as they held to one another. The
night sky takes form above them. Clouds drift by as the love dance takes
shape and form. No more hesitation, no more self-denial, and no more
judgment. Just the two to act with no prying eyes and prying times. Love is
made in the peace with no thoughts to the eyes of the world beyond. No one
is to know it is just the two.

Love ever present and pure only hidden away from prying eyes as it has been
finally freed to the receiver. They dress without talking. They walk with
out hiding hands intertwined leading to hearts tied together without
another soul to interfere. An understanding has now been met as they begin
to walk back to the outside worldview.  They know the love they feel. They
know the world looks on to them. But, it is not about the world around them
it is about the two.

The Explorer is still parked where they left it. There is flash from a
nearby car as they begin to make their way across the seemingly deserted
parking lot. Neither hesitates as they continue to walk towards the car
with the flashing camera bulb.

To be continued...

Authors Notes

If you all have any questions please feel free to ask. Hopefully this will
answer some of them for you.

1.) The story has been pre-written up until installment 18 at this point...

2.) Yes it is a good story and I have made plans to continue it past the
initial 20 installments.

3.) I want to thank all those of you who have written me and asked me to
continue. I was not sure what to do with the series until some of you
Kvn71, Jonathan, Blake, Fernie, Andy, Trevor, James.. Actually came up with
some great idea's for me. Thank you a million you are definitely worth it.

4.) I know the story has been a roller coaster and here is where I truly
want some more feedback.. Do you like the roller coaster atmosphere of this
story?

5.) Yes everyone is welcome to write me and if you ask around you will find
out I do answer mail to everyone.

Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com

Thanks,
Grayson S. Vellar