Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 23:40:37 EST
From: WriterGray@aol.com
Subject: Don't Want You Back-Part 17 Out with the bad and in with the News

Warning! If you not old enough leave otherwise enjoy it, it's fiction!

Again, read the other great series' out there. There are a lot of them and
I am actually starting to catch up. But to the other authors I am
definitely fan of your work.

Feedback is welcome good or bad: writergray@aol.com

(Authors notes are now at the end)

Last time

The Explorer is still parked where they left it. There is flash from a
nearby car as they begin to make their way across the seemingly deserted
parking lot. Neither hesitates as they continue to walk towards the car
with the flashing camera bulb.


                      Don't Want You Back-Part 17
                'Out with the old and in with the news'
                          By Grayson S Vellar


"Maybe you would like a better picture," Kevin said as he turned to me. I
must admit that with everything that had happened for us today after we had
left the house I was confused. This was the outside world. We lived day to
day in this world.

"Kevin what are you doing?" I asked only to feel his index finger touch my
lips to hush me.

"I love you," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed me gently on my
quieted lips. I was shocked. I was elated. I was savoring his show of
love. This was what we needed this was about us. Another flash lit up our
world as the camera went off again. Kevin gently pulled me to him and
turned his face towards the camera as it went off again.

"Could you send me a copy of these please," Kevin said as we walked back
towards the car.

"We shouldn't have," I grinned.

"We did," Kevin said opening the passenger side door and ushering me
inside.

"We did," I said before he closed the door. He walked around to the other
side of the car and opened the door.

"I still want to talk about everything you know," Kevin said turning in the
seat to face me.

I began to pick the sand out of the grooves of my pants not wanting to
think about earlier.  "I want to too, but I am still not sure what to think
Kevin. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But,
you never told me about your relationship with her," I said and began to
wonder if this was the best place and time. Another flash went off at the
head of the car. Kevin turned his head towards the photographer.

"Give me a second baby," Kevin said stepping out of the car.

I watched as Kevin approached the man and they began to talk. Kevin soon
turned to face me waving me out of the car. I was wondering what was going
on. He was placing everything on hold and everything up in the air all at
once. Was this the best way to handle this man? I would have expected him
to take the camera, take it and pull the film out of the
camera. Reluctantly I stepped out of the car and the camera went off as I
smiled at Kevin.

'This is Frank, Michael I want to give him and interview and I want you
with me," Kevin said waving my attention to the man.

"Pleased to meet you Frank. So I take it this is a exclusive interview
Kevin?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Yes, I think it is time I tell the whole story Michael don't you," Kevin
asked and I smiled knowing what he was going to do would set us free but
also would open up a whole lot of other things. Like his relationship with
Kristin. It was around 8:00 in the evening now this was going to be another
long night.

"Well, where to start?" Kevin said laughing as we now set on the back of
the Explorer with Frank standing there waiting for him to start.

"How bout the beginning?" Frank asked and then continued with an idea. "How
'bout why you two are holding hands? Or rather how long you two have been
together?" Franks suggested and sat down in his folding chair he had pulled
from the trunk of his car.

"That is not the beginning but that would be a good jumping off point,"
Kevin said pausing long enough to look at me as if asking permission and I
nodded my head to him.

"Okay well as you know Mike here started working with us three no four day
ago. We have been on a roller coaster ever since," Kevin went on to tell
Frank about the last four days not telling him all of the details and
leaving out personal information on all the other guys. Which I found
interesting until he finished with the story of Kristin his long time on
again off again relationship.

"You see when I was working for Disney she was the one person I got to know
really well. It was kind of my cover for a long time. I mean when you have
a female friend and she thinks the world of you and she doesn't want you in
that way. Well, it makes things easier. But, fame set in and she started to
make moves. I tried to placate her with favors. I never admitted or denied
our relationship really. But people started to suspect and I got
scared. But then again, what was I supposed to do tell all the fans and my
family I was not interested in women. I just let her go on with her
life. Kristin has never really been part of the physical presence of my
life. It was phone calls and letters mostly and to make a long story short
she began to thinks we were together. I lead her on..." Kevin stopped as I
squeezed his hand and he looked at me for support to which I smiled at
him. I wasn't happy to know that this was their relationship but how could
I judge him.

"Everyone will judge me but lets face facts I love Mike not Kristin. I wish
things could be different but they aren't. I had a relationship a few years
ago with another guy and it was just as bad then. I don't want to hide any
more. I mean you should understand Frank.  How many nights do you stake out
a car or a house and wait for the people to show up so you can get a
story?" Kevin asked Frank. Frank shook his head smiling at Kevin. He
understood. I thought I saw a little bit of the compassion I would hope
someone would have in this situation.

"I love her as a person but as a woman I can't say she holds a candle to
Mike here. We wear our rings to show we are going to be together one way or
another. If the fans don't accept me then I leave the group and find
something else to do with my life," Kevin said kissing my cheek and Frank
smiled.

"Kevin why didn't you just tell people from the start. It is going to be a
much bigger shock now than lets say 4 years ago?" Frank asked and I
laughed.

"The reason he laughs is popularity. In another time perhaps ten years from
now it will be more publicly accepted. But 2 years ago never. The fans we
have are female. I may not be the most popular member of the group but I am
part of the group. They judge us as a group not as single members," Kevin
said looking down at the pavement.

"Maybe it's time to make a change and make them see you as individuals?"
Frank asked.

"I hope so. But, honestly Frank do you think a bunch of people realizing he
has been lying are going to stick by him. I hope they do I mean that would
be ideal but that most likely is not going to happen," I said causing Kevin
to look up at me and smile.

"So, why come out now," Frank asked.

"If I don't now, I won't be able to have a relationship with Michael,"
Kevin said openly.

"More importantly for your readers to know is if we don't open up like this
we are lying.  That puts a strain on our relationship, believe me. I know
it's not going to be easy to live openly either but at least we will be
able to do it together. I love him and he loves me.  Should we hide it or
not?" I asked Frank.

"No," Frank answered quickly.

"Can we go home now," Kevin asked.

"Yes, as soon as we are done figuring out when this going to print," I said
laughing.

"Tomorrow, probably special edition. Unless." Frank stopped.

"Unless what," I asked wondering what else there could be.

"Unless the other guys want to tell me what they think of all of this,"
Frank practically begged for interviews.

"After this comes out you contact me and we will work that out," I said
pausing as I handed him my business card. "I won't guarantee anything. But,
I will try and see what they say," I finished as he took the card.

"Wow, okay well this will be ready for you to look at tomorrow morning,"
Frank said looking at the card.

"No Frank just print it. And if you do this right I will make sure you get
the follow up," I said catching him off guard.

"Nothing like a little pressure Michael," Kevin said laughing. Frank
collected his notes and picked up the folding chair.

"Goodnight Frank see you soon," I said shaking his hand.

Kevin and I moved off the back of the Explorer and walked around to the
front to leave. I was relieved and concerned at the same time. Was this the
right thing to do? I climbed into the cab to find him already sitting and
waiting. I guess I had let my thoughts get away from me while walking. He
smiled at me holding out his hand to me as we began to pull away from the
small parking lot. I took hold of it eagerly taking satisfaction in the
thought; there was no need to hide how we feel.

"Michael she means so little to me. But, you have to understand that she
has been the one I have leaned on. It is not going to be easy to tell her
to keep her distance. To tell her what I just did will probably cause a lot
of shots to be fired," Kevin said making me wonder if he had planned far
enough ahead.

"What do you mean shots to be fired Kevin," I said shivering.

"Michael she has been my cover for a while now, I just blew that cover,"
Kevin said not taking his eyes off the road ahead of us.

"Do you regret doing it," I asked looking directly at him.

"No," Kevin suddenly answered with conviction he squeezed my hand. "I love
you and I want to be with you and only you. No one else. This was the only
way baby," Kevin said pulling into the driveway. He was almost pleading as
if he wanted to convince me.

"I know Kevin. I love you too, and you have done one of the most impressive
things to show me you love me," I said pausing looking down at our hands
still intertwined. "I just hope I'm worth it," I said letting a stray tear
escape my eye. I looked up just in time to see him reaching forwards. He
pulled my face close to his leaning in and kissing away the tear.

"I love you, your worth it," Kevin said leaning his forehead against mine.
We sat in silence just the two of us now. It was quieting outside almost
too quiet compared to recent events in our lives. It had been a long day
and the beach was just the thing to wash away all that had transpired
between the rest of the guys and us. I yawned lightly and he smiled at me
kissing my cheek once just before pulling away and reaching for the door
handle.

"We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow it would be a good idea if we went
in and got to bed," Kevin said opening the door. Both of us noticed a
cigarette lighter flicker to life on the front porch. There was an eerie
darkness about the rest of the house. No light could be seen from any of
the windows as Kevin walked around to meet me halfway out of the door.

"Did you see on the porch," I whispered as I leaned into him acting as if
to be more tired than I actually was.

"Yes," he answered into my ear hugging me close.

"Who is it," I asked.

"Don't know," he answered kissing me quickly before turning around and
heading towards the porch with me in tow.

"Too cute if you ask me?" a woman's voice sounded off from the darkness. I
recognized it.. It was Ann.

"Mom, glad to see you. I have to tell you something," Kevin started only to
stop when she rose and held up her hand to stop him.

"Kevin, I have been doing some thinking and I want to say this first." Ann
said.  I caught up to Kevin and stood at his side as Ann looked at me I
felt out of place, but Kevin only held my hand tighter. I knew then as I
know now Kevin needed me there he needed me to be there one way or another.

"Kevin, I'm your mother and you know I love you. This has been extremely
hard for me to come to. But, it's not my life to lead. You're my son. I
love you for you not for how you live your life behind closed doors. I
suppose what I am saying I accept that you're gay. I accept that you have
another life, one I would have never chosen for you. But either way it is
your life," Ann said stepping forwards and reaching out to him.

There was a silence a calming silence in the air. They stood there
rejoining for the first time after all the debating they had done. Kevin
was overjoyed I could feel it emanating from him as I watched them
closely. I wished silently to myself that my mother was still here for me
to share my love with. I wished I could reach out to the two of them, hug
them both, and tell them that it would be okay. But I was sure she would
never accept that. I was sure she was having a hard enough time dealing
with the fact that I was standing there watching them.

"So, who is the man that has filled your heart Kevin," Ann asked turning to
face me.  There was a sickeningly sweet sound in her voice. I could tell
she was really trying to be nice. I could tell this was still to hard for
her to deal with. But, she was strong-minded and I knew from personal
experience that she would have nothing of us trying to step away from the
subject.

"Mrs. Richardson, I'm Michael Valery," I replied holding out my hand to
her. She looked at me shocked as Kevin grinned standing behind her.

"Well, Michael first rule in this family no hand shaking," Ann said pulling
me into a hug.  She was shaking and I could tell this was hard. I could
tell this was probably the hardest thing she had gone through in a long
time. "I love him too," Ann said to me letting me go and pulling Kevin over
to us.

"Mom were are you staying at," Kevin asked, while taking my hand in his.

"Well, I was going to fly out this evening. However, I had to wait for you
to come home.

I wanted to tell you that everything was going to be okay," Ann said
looking down.

"Did you already check out of the Hotel," Kevin asked looking over to me.

"Look Ann stay the night here," I said stopping to see Kevin shaking his
head yes at me.

"There's plenty of room and we could always." Ann cut me off.

"Stop Michael, Brian went to stay with Keith for the evening. The two of
them seem to be getting along a lot better these days. I just hope Brian
knows what he is getting himself into," Ann said making Kevin and I both
stare at her in wonder.

"Don't look at me like that AJ and I talked out by the pool this
afternoon. Kevin you have done a wonderful job raising them all. I know
that sounds foolish but I can see where you have influenced all of them. I
only wish I had of took a better look the other night when I was here," Ann
said as the three of us began to head into the house for a long nights
sleep.

"By the way mom where did the lighter come from," Kevin asked as he closed
the front door.

"It was your fathers," Ann replied handing it to Kevin. "I use it from time
to time when I think of things that are really hard to decide. It reminds
me of how strong your father was," Ann said squeezing Kevin's hand

We all walked into the house and back towards the stairs to head off to
bed. There was not another word spoken about the lighter or the evening
events. All was calm for once and yet at the same time I knew it wouldn't
last. Tonight Kevin did something I knew was going to make life much more
interesting. I knew we would have to stand by one another to the end of the
roller coaster Frank would be starting. I knew we would have to fight. I
knew we would make it; I just had to make sure Kevin knew it too.

"Kevin how are you feeling about Frank?" I asked not knowing why I was
doing it now.  But here we were in the bedroom and all he would do was take
my hand and drag me into the bathroom. The tub stood empty as he reached
over and began to fill it with steaming hot water.

"Happier than I have ever felt in my life. But at the same time, I must
admit I am a little uneasy. Let's just relax in each others arms," Kevin
said unbuttoning my shirt for the second time tonight.

"Relax in each others arms it is then," I said placing both my free hands
on his hardened chest. It was the most amazing feeling reaching out and
touching his body. I must admit that it feels like magic every time I touch
him. His chest rises slightly with each breath every time he inhales as I
graze his nipples with my fingertips. The thin layer of cloth that
separates my fingers from his actual flesh must be removed as I reach for
the bottom edge of his shirt.  Kevin's eyes meet mine as I begin to raise
his tee shirt up. His smile is enough to let me know he is enjoying the
seductive motion as I slowly lift and pull it over his head and up
stretched arms. I drop the shirt to the floor and gently run my finger
across his biceps causing a shiver to run through him. I saw the look and
knew my attempts at arousing him were working as he closed his eyes and
lowly groaned.

The water rose quickly as we stepped into the tub. The scent of his flesh
caressed my senses as I leaned in close holding onto him for dear life. I
knew tomorrow would be our first day exposed. I knew his love and mine
would be tested. I knew that with us out in the open scrutiny would follow.

"Kevin, no matter what happens. I love you," I said running my finger tips
up his back to his hair. As I ran my finger through his hair he closed his
eyes and I gently lowered the two of us into the still running water.

"No matter what happens you are the one I want," Kevin said wrapping his
arms around me as we settled into the water.

The water washed away all hurt and pain that would come. We the two sat
silently holding one another in piece and quiet. Neither of us spoke again
of the things that were about to change. Neither of us spoke about how this
would affect the group. An hour had passed and the jets still moved the
water around us. I grabbed hold of his hands as I leaned my head back and
kissed him on the cheek.

"We should get some sleep baby we have to get up early tomorrow," I said
setting forwards to step out.

"Nah, let just stay here," Kevin said opening his already sleepy eyes.

"You already were asleep," I said as he smiled at me.

"Okay you win, but tomorrow night your all mine. No worries about the next
day, no worries about anything," Kevin said allowing me to step out as he
released his hold on me.

Sleep came quickly as the night air engulfed our bodies clad only in a
sheet. The night was warm. He laid his head on my chest for once. I
couldn't sleep for several hours as I thought about everything that had
happened.

There I lay remembering how we met. Fatima had agreed to come and work with
me.  Fatima had been the connection. She had agreed to meet me and here I
lay now in the arms of the love of my life. Hell's gates would open
tomorrow allowing all that chose to strike. It would be a long fight I
feared. But, what if they chose to allow us to be happy.

'What if?' I asked myself that question a thousand times in my life. It
must be the way I deal with everything really, always questioning the
things I already knew.. Here we lay happy in our lives and all I could do
was question. 'What if?'

Tomorrow would surely be a change of pace. But with the support of the guys
I was sure Kevin and I would survive. I was sure we would make it. Sure
there was a lot to do still and this was certainly not the end it was the
beginning in a long trip of life. We both were now allowed to be happy in
our lives. Especially now that we were together, everything made sense.

'What if?' I asked one more time before tripping off into a calm sleep sure
to be filled with Kevin and I in our own happiness.

New Day Dawning

Kevin wrapped me in his arms as he looked out at the new reporters. There
was no stopping this now. Everyone had read the morning edition paper
before we even had a chance to see it. I smiled at him as the first wave of
our lives began to crash. A sign became very evident in the back of the
crowd. It was a group of teenage girls hold the sign there each look like
death warmed over. They had been crying for quite some time.  An older
woman stood close to them holding a young boy she was point at the two of
us as she spoke into his ear.  I looked at the sign carefully and read the
one thing that would hurt the two of us the most Lies.

'Kevin stop! You love us, you said so!' Was printed in big bold letters on
the sign.

I looked at Kevin in terror as the woman headed to the front of the crowd
with her child still in her arms she was making head way past all the
reporters as Kevin turned to Keith who looked at him like we deserved what
we were getting. But, being the person he was he still went ahead to meet
the woman. Before I knew what was happening, she was brought closer to
us. Keith was smiling the entire time as she began to speak.

"Look Johnnie this is the man you idolized. He loves little boys and men
are you going to turn out like him?" she asked her son making Kevin and I
both cringe in fear.

"Michael wake up baby, your dreaming," Kevin's voice broke the dream in two
as I began to open my eyes I noticed that Ann was standing inside the room
next to him.

"What happened Kevin?" I asked.

"I left you to sleep and you were screaming no over and over again. We
heard you down stairs. Brian and Nick were the first to want to come up but
Mom and I stopped them. We think you may want to see this with us first."
Kevin said handing me a red file folder.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Johnnie Wright sent it over this morning. Apparently Frank is one of his
friends and talked to him first before going to print," Ann said just as AJ
and Brian entered the room.

To tell the truth I never wanted to wake up like this. All of these people
were staring at me like I had grown another head or something.

"As soon as we heard that something was up we all showed up this
morning. Michael. I just want to tell you that I understand what you two
are going through. We all got copies of that this morning they were sent to
each of our houses by courier," AJ said sitting on the foot of the
bed. Kevin sat down next to me and brushed my hair back from my eyes.
"Remind me to get that cut latter baby," I said opening the folder to find
the pictures of Kevin and I together.

"Can I have a few minutes to wake up and head down stairs, please," I asked
looking at everyone. "I'll be down in a minutes to talk to all of you, I
promise." They all started to head out until I realized I needed to talk to
Kevin and Brian quick.

"Kevin, Brian, could you two stay for a second?" the two of them remained
as I climbed out of bed.

I was still naked from the previous night as I walked to the dresser and
pulled out a pair of boxers. They were obviously Kevin's. In the last few
days I should have or normally would have picked up my own clothes. But,
for some reason or another, I had not. I mean I practically lived here yet
I had none of my own things.

"Kevin later we need to go to Glen's and pick up some of my things if
that's alright?" I asked still carrying the file around the room as I
pulled on a pair of cargo shorts and a tee shirt.

"Sure baby. I was actually thinking about that the day before yesterday but
with the way everything has gone lately it has been kind of hard to make
plans and keep them. By the way, JC and Justine are down stairs to support
us. The rest of N'Sync will be here later to help us make some plans that I
need to talk to you about alone," Kevin said placing emphasis on the last
part looking at Brian.

"Kevin lighten up he has already seen me without clothes on, remember you
sent him in here to wake me up before. I never wear anything to bed when I
sleep with you," I said setting back down on the bed between him and
Brian. Inside I was laughing my ass off at the fact that I had just let the
cat out of the bag, which we never mentioned before.  Outside I was
intently staring at the picture before me. It was a simple picture of Kevin
and I walking off the beach holding hands.

"So it begins with the truth I see," I said looking at the photo. Kevin
placed his arm around my shoulder as Brian looked at picture closely
smiling.

"Just read what he wrote," Kevin whispered into my ear.


The article.

In all the years, I have been a journalist and publishing stories this has
been the best and worst assignment of my career. I must say first that this
was all voluntary on Mr.  Richardson's part. That I guess is what makes
this story worth reading.

Kevin Richardson one of the famous Backstreet Boy's approached my car as I
staked out his location this last evening. He was cordial and pleasant over
all. I would from previous experience have expected far different opinions
of myself. But none the less, we had the talk you are about to read. In
all, honestly I have no idea why I am going to publish this other than the
fact that he honestly acted as if he wanted me too. I will consider the
pleasure mine to best tell of him as the man I now know.

Kevin Scott Richardson for the first time in his career has the ability to
be honest. He has the ability to be proud of himself; the people he works
with should feel the same pride in him for the honesty, and strength he is
showing here today.

Kevin is in love, true love, for the first time in his life. He wants to
share that love with the world. But as you will soon learn his love is not
something, all of us have the ability to understand. He is in love with a
man that stands tall above the rest. His honesty and love that he gives
Kevin are more than any of us in this world could ever hope for.

Kevin became a BSB member and had to hide everything and what he stood
for. He never had a chance to openly love another before today. Today he
sets the records straight and makes his headway in a life so filled with
previous lies that none of us even know him.

All of you probably reading this think that Kristin his long-term
girlfriend has to have some say in this. The truth is they are friends and
have been for years. When Kevin first dated her he was never dating her at
all. She received favors in their friendship that included jobs and
notoriety. In other words, she received friendship in return for the
security she provided Kevin. Kevin now feels like he has led her on in this
friendship, mainly because we as the public even still dictated their
relationship. We stated that they were together. Or was it in fact the
management and staff of the BSB that did this.

Johnnie Wright and I have been close as friends for quite some time now. He
and I spoke in detail as to how something like this could have happened. In
his own words, he told me the truth.

"In creating an image you must retain all the good qualities of the person
you are uplifting and disguise the ones you do not want to be known,"
Johnnie stated when asked what causes these boys to have to hid their
personal lives.

"When creating an image you can either help or hurt. Often times you really
don't know what the trends are going to be, but if you look closely at all
the groups that I have worked with you will see the pattern."

Well, I did just that and here are the common reactions I see.

All boyband members are looking for a certain qualities in a date or
relationship. No one ever directly asks: "What about the sex of the
recipient?"

All boyband members have to have a pet or an idea of what they want in a
pet.

All boyband members must have a favorite color, food, ice cream flavor,
car. so on and so forth. But no one knows who he or she really is.

So who are these performers really and has it ever mattered to any of you
reading this article. I fear the answers I would get on this subject. My
main consent here is that I got a chance to meet a concerned man whom is
for the first time in his life truly in love. My second concern was if I
send this to print that, none of you would understand that love knows no
color, shape or size. Do you love a person for life based on what they look
like or do you love them for the internal workings of the life they lead?

Kevin is in love and it is a true love. They have had a lot of anguish
lately and just like any other person out there, we should support him for
who he is not what he is and looks like. There is no set mold as to how a
person is to be. That concept is the sole responsibility of the morals that
each person reading this takes on. If you love another, is it to be limited
and who sets the limitations. Can a person love the same sex and still be a
person in the eyes of the people who assume they know them?

Kevin Scott Richardson and Michael Allen Valery are in love with one
another. It shows in their attitude and in their eyes. If you ever see them
standing by, greet them. If you ever see them look into their souls and be
proud of the fact that they love one another in a world filled with hate
for their type of love. And if you can not see it, you are at a
disadvantage. Maybe just maybe if you could see what they have you would
see what you are missing in your own lives. It doesn't matter that it is a
straight or a gay relationship.  What matters most is the happiness that
two people can share.

No detail, no words to be given on what they do behind closed doors. That
is their business as long as they are happy and healthy in their
relationship. Just understand that love is love no matter how you look at
it and please accept that they are happy. No they are not hurting you by
loving each other and Kevin is still the same man you all knew or thought
you knew. For the best, he finally fell in love with someone that makes him
truly happy.

"It's not what happens in life that matters, it's how we react to what
happens that makes all the difference"

Frank Paterson-Daily Grind 2000


(To Be Continued)

Authors Notes

If you all have any questions please feel free to ask. Hopefully this will
answer some of them for you.

1.) The story now has a ending I wont give it away at this point and yes a
sequel is probable.

2.) Yes it is a good story and I have contemplated continuing it past the
initial 20 installments.

3.) I want to thank all those of you who have written me and asked me to
continue. I was not sure what to do with the series until some of you
Kvn71, Jonathan, Blake, Fernie, Andy, Trevor, James.. Actually came up with
some great idea's for me. Thank you a million you are definitely worth it.

4.) I know the story has been a roller coaster and here is where I truly
want some more feedback.. Do you like the roller coaster atmosphere of this
story?]

Voting answer = Yes, you like the Roller Coaster! But you would like the
lows to be spread out more.

5.) Yes everyone is welcome to write me and if you ask around you will find
out I do answer mail to everyone.

6.) Things to look for... Wil is coming! Happier endings to
installments.. Any suggestions let me know.

Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com

Thanks,
Grayson S. Vellar