Date: Thu, 29 Mar 2001 17:11:07 EST
From: Cazbyrnefeehily@aol.com
Subject: Every Little Thing You Do Part 3 (gay/boybands)

cabyrnefeehily@aol.com
Every little thing you do 3

DISCLAIMER:  I don't know Westlife, this is purely fictional. Please don't
read anything into this, as it's 100% fiction


*Two weeks later*

Nicky had avoided telling Shane anything, in fact he had taken to treating
him as nothing more than an acquantaince
Shane wasn't as bothered as he was earlier, because he was having a hard time
coming to terms with his feelings, it felt easier if he didn't have to talk
to Nicky like he used to do.
Kian was the one who felt in the middle, he had to contend with both Nicky
and Shane pouring their hearts out to him, and he'd had enough. He falt like
banging their heads together. Nicky wouldn't tell Shane for the sole reason
that he knew Shane didn't love him, it was all lust to Shane. Kian knew
better though. He thought back to last night's conversation with Shane.

Kian fell back on his bed, and sighed. How many more times did he have to
hear this. Shane just kept going on about Nicky, Kian had managed to get him
to confess that he was gay. He was very private about revealing that side of
himself, and even told Kian he was been ridiculous. He wasn't gay. He just
admired Nicky.
Kian laughed at that, when it was so obvious that was not the case. Shane
eventually admitted the truth, and he was so afraid of what Kian would say.
Afraid he'd lose the friendship.
>From that day on, Shane had used Kian as someone to sound out his feelings.
While Kian was grateful that he could be there for him, he knew that the only
person who needed to hear all this was Nicky.
"But I love him Kian"  Shane said for about the tenth time that night.
Kian let out a long sigh  "I know. You tell me often enough!"
Shane frowned  "Well I'm sorry if my problem's are too much for you!"
"That's just it Shane, you don't have a problem"
"Err..Hello. I love Nicky!"  Shane snapped
Kian wanted to tell him that Nicky felt the same, stop this awkwardness
between them, but Nicky had sworn him to secrecy. So he had to listen to
Shane go on and on, Kian closed his eyes and felt himself drift off, he kept
waking himself up, as he heard the soft sound of Shane crying. Immediately he
felt guilt wash over him, he sat up and wrapped an arm around Shane.
He never realised it was affecting him this much, he knew that he cared for
Nicky, but he'd never seen him shed a tear over him. Kian said nothing, just
held Shane, not understanding how it could hurt this much, never experienced
love, only short relationships that don't mean much to him. He knew that he
had to get them talking, if not for their sakes, for the band's sake

Nicky lay in his bed, all alone, he noticed that Shane was spending most of
his time with Kian on a night. While he was glad that he didn't have to be
around him, it still upset him, knowing that Shane would rather be with Kian
than with him. He knew that Kian wasn't gay, and that he had no need to
worry, but he wanted to know what Kian had that he didn't.
Bryan tapped on his door. Kian wasn't the only one who had noticed a change
in Nicky. He himself hadn't spotted anything, it was Kerry who noticed. She
was quite close to Nicky, and had seen how low he seemed, at first she
thought it had something to do with Georgina, but on closer inspection she
noticed the lack of communication between Nicky and Shane.
Nicky opened his door, Bryan held a bottle of wine up, Nicky smiled and let
him in.
Bryan poured the drinks and started discussing day to day things, cracking
jokes to cheer Nicky up, but nothing seemed to work.
Realising he had to just come straight out with it, or he'd be here all
night.  "Err...Nic, about Shane"
Nicky looked up at the mere mention of his name  "What about him?"
"Well, the air has been quite.....How can I put it? Frosty"
"No it hasn't!"  Nicky snapped, he didn't want Bryan to pick up on anything
that had happened or hadn't happened.
"Come on Nic. I'm not blind. What's going on?"
Nicky sighed  "Okay, I'll tell you, but if you tell anyone else, I'll kill
you"
"I won't tell anyone, I promise Nic"
"You know that Shane and I have had problems, well the reason for that
is...."  Nicky paused, sipping his wine   "I love him"
Bryan almost spat out the wine that he'd just drank  "You did say love? You
love him? Shane?"
"Yes! Is this so hard for you to take in? You knew about Justin, you know
that I'm bi"
"Yeah, but Shane. He's straight!"
Nicky laughed  "No he isn't"
"Don't tell me you......"  Bryan stared at him wide-eyed.
"No. Let's just say that I know that he's gay"
"Woah! Shane's gay? Well if he's gay, what's the problem?"
Nicky sighed  "Shane isn't in love with me"
"And how do you know that?"
"I just do. He told me he fancied me, but as for love?"
"Come off it Nix, Shane isn't the type of guy to love them and leave them."
"Maybe he's not, but I've already been hurt by G. I can't risk getting hurt
again"
"I would have thought, seeing as you feel so strongly, that it was worth the
risk"

Kian sighed, remembering how Shane cried on him for most of the night. It was
getting to him now, he couldn't handle this. He needed them to sort it out,
but it was hopeless.
He looked up from his breakfast as Bryan sat opposite him. Nicky wasn't that
far behind. Kian nodded at Nicky, he smiled sadly.
"Look Nic, can we talk?"  Kian asked under his breath
"What about?"  Nicky asked as he fumbled with the tablecloth
"I think you know"
"Well if it's about Shane, just say what you want to say here"
Kian glanced at Bryan nervously. Bryan frowned  "You know?"
Kian looked at him surprised  "Yeah, when did you find out?"
"I told him last night"  Nicky said
Kian felt an enormous wave of relief overcome him, knowing he wasn't alone
now.
"Well, Bry. Don't you think he should speak to Shane?"
Bryan nodded  "Yeah, seeing as he feels the same, you've nothing to lose Nix!"
Nicky groaned  "You two just don't listen do you!?"
Kian looked at him puzzled by his outburst  "Listen? Nic, I've done nothing
but listen to you!"
"Well, if you were paying attention, you'd understand just why I can't tell
him!"
Mark patted Nicky on the back  "Tell who what mate?"
"God Mark! Don't do that!"  Nicky stood up, anger set on his pale features.
Mark backed away sheepishly  "Sorry Nic, didn't mean to startle you"  Mark
sat down without another word leaving his lips.
Bryan looked up at Nicky, his eyes still exuded anger, or was it fear? He
wasn't sure, but something was freaking him out.  "Nic, what's wrong!"
Nicky wasn't listening, he was only focused on one thing, or rather one
person.
Shane walked towards the table, not meeting Nicky's eye, it made Nicky feel
dejected to know that Shane couldn't return the feelings of love that burned
deep inside of him.
Bryan pulled Nicky back to his seat, the atmosphere was so icy, no one dare
speak, Nicky's heart was beating so fast, he was sure everyone at the table
could tell how unbelievably anxious he was.
Breakfast was ate in silence. Mark knew something had happened, and he felt
in the dark. When everyone had finished their breakfast, he nudged Kian
"What gives?"
Kian looked at him nervously  "I'll tell you later"  He exchanged glances
with Bryan. Mark wasn't impressed with his answer.
"God dammit Kian, tell me now!"
Bryan glared at Mark, he was been impossible, the last thing that any of them
needed was a public outing at the breakfast table.
Shane looked at Kian and sighed, knowing exactly what Mark's problem was.
Shane placed his hand on Mark's arm.  "I'll tell you Mark, but not here, not
in front of everyone"
Nicky who had been staring at Shane intently, knew it meant in front of him.
"Why won't you tell him here Shane?"  Nicky asked quietly
Shane merely ignored him "Come on, I'll tell you upstairs"
Mark hesitated. Part of him wanted to go with Shane, to find out what the big
secret was, but another part of him wanted to know what was eating Nicky
Shane pulled Mark to his feet, Nicky couldn't believe he was treating him
like he wasn't even there.  "Don't go with him Mark"
Mark stopped, which produced a long winded sigh from Shane  "Why not Nic?"
"Look Mark, if you need to know what the problem is, I'll tell you"
Shane met Nicky's gaze, and held it. Pleading with him not to say that he was
gay. The words were on the tip of Nicky's tongue, but they just wouldn't come.
"Well, will someone please tell me!"  Mark said, feeling slightly pissed off
with everyone's attitude
Kian walked towards them. "I'll tell you, that's if no one has any
objections?"  He looked to Nicky, and then to Shane, they merely smiled,
allowing Kian to talk with Mark alone.
Bryan picked up on the chemistry that was hanging in the air, and slowly
walked away. Nicky was still staring at Shane, it was making him feel uneasy,
his cheeks turned a deep shade of red, Nicky realised he was making him feel
uncomfortable and sat down. Shane turned away, but not before seeing the
anguish set on Nicky's face. He almost stayed, he wanted to take him in his
arms, ease his worries, but the last time he was that close to him, he made a
complete fool of himself.

Kian smiled uneasily at Mark, unsure how he'd take the news that two of his
friends were gay. It didn't bother Kian, because like Nicky he was bisexual,
but no one knew, but he'd never been attracted to Shane or Nicky.
"So, come on Ki. What's the big secret?"
"Erm...Well, the thing is, it's about Shane...."
"And Nicky, right?"
"Yeah.....How do I put this without you freaking out?"
"Tell me Ki. Is it bad?"
"Define bad. I think it's great, but you may not think so"
Mark stared at Kian, totally puzzled with what he was saying  "Well.....If
you think it's great, then so will I"
Kian smiled  "You don't even know what it is yet"
"I know, but I trust your judgement Ki"
"Okay, well here goes. Shane is gay"
Mark's face fell  "He's gay? Oh god."
Kian instantly regretted telling him   "Mark? Do you have a problem with
that?"
"Not really.....Erm.....What's Nicky got to do with this?"  Mark said, trying
not to annoy Kian
"Well, if you're not okay with Shane been gay, which I can tell you're not,
you won't be okay with the next bit of news"
"Oh god, not Nicky as well!"
"Yeah. Why does this bother you so much Mark? Never had you down as
homophobic!"
Mark sank down on the bed  "This is just too much, too much"  Tears streamed
down his face
"What is it Mark?"  Kian asked with genuine concern
"I can't tell you. Louis will have a fit"
Kian scratched his head in confusion  "Louis? Are we still on about Shane and
Nicky here?"
Mark nodded  "Two members in the band, maybe he could handle, but not three.
Not three"
"Three?"  Kian said, then sighed  Oh god. He knows about me! But I've never
told him, never given him any indication!
"Yes, Kian. Three"
"H...How did you find out?"
"I guess I've always known, I just kept it to myself for so long, dated
models, kept up the pretense"
Kian's face turned white. Shit! He's talking about himself.  "It's okay Mark,
you're not alone"
"But I am alone Ki. I have no one. You're the only one who knows, you won't
tell anyone will you?"  Mark looked up at him with fearful eyes, as Kian
smiled and wrapped an arm around him
"Of course I won't tell"  He pulled him close, letting his hand trail up and
down Mark's arm. Mark pulled away  "Stop Kian"
"I don't want to stop Mark"  He said as he gazed into Mark's deep blue eyes,
producing a blush to spread on his already rosy cheeks. Kian pressed his lips
against Mark's full cherry lips, parting them with his tongue. Mark showed no
resistance as Kian pushed him back on the bed, letting his tongue lick around
his chin, down to his neck, gently biting his skin, Mark moaned which Kian
muffled with a hot kiss

Bryan smiled as he spoke to Kerry on his phone, his smile quickly vanished
when he saw Shane walk into his room, quickly ending the call, he approached
him.
"Hey. Thought you were talking to Nicky"
Shane shook his head  "I had nothing to say to him"
"He's your best friend, he misses you mate!"
"Did he say that?"  Shane enquired
Bryan hesitated  "He said a few things"   He didn't want to be the one to
tell Shane how intensely Nicky spoke of him
"Oh"  Shane sighed, he looked up at Bryan  "I bet he was fast to tell you
about the real me"
"The real you?"  Bryan raised an eyebrow inquisitively
"Yes Bry. I expect that Kian told Mark, so you're really the only one who
doesn't know"
"I know"  Bryan replied softly. Shane inhaled sharply  "So, I was right, he
couldn't wait to have a good laugh at my expense!"
"No one's laughing at you Shane"  Bryan took in the unshed tears threatening
to spill down Shane's cheeks
"Oh no? Well, why do I feel as if everyone is judging me?"
"No one is judging you! I haven't, Kian hasn't and Nicky certainly hasn't"
"How can you be so sure of that Bry?"
Bryan sighed  "I just know okay, I can't say anymore okay?"
Tears streamed down Shane's face as he advanced on Bryan  "I need to know
Bry! Tell me!"
"It's not my place Shane!"  He placed his hand on Shane's chest, to keep him
from hurting him
"If you were my friend, if you gave a damn about me, then you'd tell me!"
Shane collapsed on the bed, his body trembling with sobs, Bryan immediately
felt waves of guilt wash over him, he knew that three little words would be
all it takes for Shane to stop crying, his words failed him, so he merely
wrapped his arms around him, holding him until the tension and worry left
him. Bryan hated to see his best mates like this, he knew what he had to do,
talk to Nicky again. Sort this mess out, or he could kiss goodbye to his
career and more importantly, see friendship's ripped apart.
I won't let that happen. He thought

TBC