Date: Tue, 5 Oct 1999 22:49:12 -0700 From: Chris Subject: Everything I Own, Part 5 "Everything I Own" By Chris DISCLAIMER: Same as usual. Don't read if you are underage or don't like reading about gay romance. I want to thank everyone that is reading my story and liking it. I especially want to thank David at the Nifty Archive for his hard work in keeping up the best erotica story site on the net and giving authors such as myself a place to display their work. You are the best, David! No, there still is no sex in this chapter. It will come, sometime in the near future. I'm sorry for the looong delay, but between work, working out, and theater volunteering, I have very little free time. I actually am writing a lot of this in free hand during breaks and lunch at work. CHAPTER FIVE The room grew quiet when the doctor walked in. Everyone's heart almost stopped, scared of what the doctor was going to say. He was very calm, showing no emotions, like doctors are often trained to do. Somehow, Mark wasn't scared. He felt the news was going to be good. He smiled and the rest of the guys looked at him like he was crazy. "Don't worry, guys. He's going to be fine." Mark said. Chris was not as optimistic as Mark. "How do you know that for sure?" Mark replied, "I know it in my heart. Yes, I don't know him, but I still feel that he will be OK." JC looked at the doctor. "Doc?" The doctor said to JC, "He's still in a coma, but doing a little bit better." Joey had felt a little of Mark's optimism, but frowned again when he heard what the doctor said. "Is there anything that can be done to bring him back?" "Right now, it's up to him. He has to want to come back. He should have been out of the coma by now. It's like he doesn't want to live. Do any of you know any unusual stress he went through before he got sick?" Everyone shook their heads. "Maybe if you all sang to him, he would feel what he would lose if he didn't come out of the coma." Upon that, the doctor left, leaving them to decide what to do. Mark spoke first. "That sounds like a great idea! Can I come in and listen?" JC replied, "No, Mark." Mark was devastated. Did he say something wrong? He knew he had been crying way too much lately, both of happiness and sorrow. He decided to not cry, but to be calm. "OK. I'll stay out here. If you want me to leave, then I will." "God, Mark!" Joey said. "We are gonna have to get you to feel better about yourself." Mark replied, "I can see how you feel I don't love myself. I really do." Lance added, "I could see how Joey can feel that, too. Why are you so down on yourself?" Mark said, "I will tell you everything you want to know about myself later on. What's important right now is do anything we can to get Justin back to you guys." Lance responded, "Mark is right. I saw we do 'Everything I Own'." Everyone else agreed. Mark asked, "So, are you guys gonna do it with one solo or two or what?" Lance looked at the rest of the group, who gave him an agreeing nod. "Just one solo, Mark." Mark asked, "Who?" JC responded, "You, Mark." Mark was shocked. "Me? Why me?" Lance replied, "Baby, you sounded so wonderful doing the song on Rosie's show." Mark conceded, "I know I sounded great, but I am not a friend of his. I still cannot believe I am friends with you all and that you love me, Lance, but I know I am not friends with him." JC added, "What Lance is trying to say is that you are part of our family now. I know we barely know you, but we all can see why he loves you." Mark was very happy. He looked at the other guys and tried not to cry, but started anyway. Lance hugged him tightly. Mark started to say, "But..." Lance looked at Mark's back. "Yes, love. You do have a sexy butt." Chris jokingly asked, "Are you guys always going to act like that?" Lance and Mark both shouted, "Yes!" Everyone laughed and walked inside Justin's room. Mark gasped. JC couldn't look at Justin. Lance had some tears in his eyes. Joey and Chris had looks of fear in their eyes. Mark said, "Remember, we have to act positive. He will feed off of that and then realize how much you all need him. So, are we all ready?" Everyone else agreed with Mark. The five of them formed a half circle around Justin's bed. They start to sing the song, with Mark as the lead. At the end of the song, Justin's eyes slowly open. He looks at JC and weakly asked, "Where...am...I?" Everyone is thrilled that Justin woke up. JC jumped up and down, Chris and Joey hug, and Lance grabbed Mark and passionately kissed him. "I'll get the doctor!" Mark said, once he broke the kiss. He ran out of the room. "Lance, who is that guy?" Justin asked. Lance blushed deeply. "His name is Mark Johnson. He sang in your place on Rosie's show." Justin asked, "Where did you find him?" Lance explained how Mark was in the audience initially and how Lance came up with the idea that Mark sing with them after hearing them. Justin was amazed at Lance's story. "How did he do?" He asked. Lance responded, "We only had time to do Gloria's song. Joey did your part and Mark and I did hers. He was great!" JC said to Lance, "You guys are great together and I'm not just talking about singing." Justin could not believe what he heard. "What is this? Do you like him, Scoop?" Lance replied, "I think I am in love with him. I do know what you are thinking, however, J." Justin was concerned for his friend. "How well do you know him?" "I know him well enough to know that I love him." "Do you trust him?" "I trust him completely. He won't tell anyone that I am gay, that JC is gay also, or that Joey..." Lance stopped suddenly. Justin was puzzled. "What about Joey?" "Gee, thanks, Lance!" Joey said sarcastically then hit him on the back of his head. "Curly, I am bisexual." Justin was flabbergasted. "You are? Really? I never suspected a thing!" "Yes. I came out to them before the show. I let it slip that I thought Mark was cute." Joey replied. Justin was amazed at what had been happening lately. "I cannot believe that of all of us, only Chris is totally straight!" Joey laughed. "Well, maybe I can bring him over to our side." JC and Lance joined in the laughter. "Come on, guys! That ain't funny!" Chris said. Joey saw the look of confusing on Justin's face. "Curly, I joked earlier to Chris after I came out that I was in love with him." Justin laughed hard. "Chris, you don't think that you'll make it five for five?" Chris responded, "No, Justin. It won't happen." Lance laughed. "Oh, we'll see about that!" He grabs Chris' head and kisses him hard. At the same time, Mark walked back into the room with the doctor and saw Lance and Chris kissing. Mark was destroyed. In front of him, he saw the love of his life passionately kissing one of his best friends. He didn't know what to think, so he did what he does best, crying and running back out of the room, screaming, "Lance! How could you?" Lance started to go after him, but Chris stopped him. "I'll talk to him, Scoop." "No! I fucked up and it should be me!" Lance said in desperation. JC said to Lance, "No, James. It shouldn't be you. I don't think he would want to talk with you right now. Go, Chris." Chris ran out of the room, only to see Mark sitting right outside of the room, still crying hard. "Mark?" He asked. Mark responded, "You know what's really funny? I have never cried as much in my whole life as I have today, both for joy and sorrow." "He loves you, Mark. I'm only a friend, a brother to him." Chris said, in hopes that Mark would believe him. "I know he loves me. Why did he kiss you then?" "It was just a joke." Chris replied. "Four of us in the group are either gay or bi. He was just trying to get me to be on your side." "Did he succeed?" Chris didn't answer Mark for a long time, eventually saying, "I don't know. He may have." Mark was stunned. Could all of 'N Sync be gay or bi? "What? Are you sure about that?" "No, I don't know. Can you help me?" Chris was very confused. "Of course I can. Let me apologize to Lance and bring Joey over here." "Why do you need Joey?" "Because you need more advice than just from me. Joe knows you a lot better, and because he loves you." "I know he loves me. What does..." Mark interrupted. "Chris, Joey is in love with you." "He's not. I know that. He did joke that he was earlier, but it was just a joke." Chris responded, unable to face his crush on Joey, whch lay hidden for years, only to resurface again now. "No, Chris. I know I just met you all today. However, I usually can read people well. I am rarely wrong. Joey is in love with you, or at least has deep feelings for you to go past friendship or family. I also can tell that you are attracted to him, too, but are scared to act on them. Like JC told me earlier, tell him how you feel." "Mark, I can't do that to him until I realize how I feel myself. I don't want to hurt him in the small chance that you are right that he likes me that way. What if all I want to do is experiment?" "You're right, of course. I just don't want to see you having a one night stand with some stranger. It was easy for me to realize I was gay, but it still took me a few years for me to believe and accept it." "Did you have feelings for girls also when you were growing up?" Chris asked. "It's a long story, but yes." Mark started to respond. "I was het until I was about sixteen. Then when I realized I was attracted to guys also, I became bi, although most of my crushes were on guy friends. The last time I was attracted to a girl was when I was eighteen. It ended up being a very serious relationship." Chris had a lot of difficulties sorting through his feelings, yet he didn't want to pry too much into Mark's personal life. "Mark, if anything is too personal to talk about, please tell me. It's OK." Mark smiled. "Chris, you are confused about what you are feeling. I want to help you in any way I can. I want to be your friend. I never thought I would end up meeting you guys, so I want this to last. My life is an open book, and you can ask anything you want." Chris hugged Mark. "Lance has got to be the luckiest man there is to have you love him." "No, Chris. I am the lucky one. I can't stop thinking how stunned I am that this is happening. I am in love with Lance and he loves me, too." Chris laughed. "Please don't cry again, Mark. I just might need a rowboat soon!" Mark responded, "I just am so happy. I am so lucky I now have you all in my..." Mark stopped talking all of a sudden and started to walk away. Chris didn't know what was going on. "MARK!" Mark didn't respond to Chris, so he ran up to him. "Mark, what's wrong?" Mark sighed deeply. "I just realized that I am leaving in four days. Everything will end then." He solemnly replied. Chris understood what Mark was feeling. "Oh. Don;t worry, Mark. Before we leave, I can guarantee that he will ask you to come with us. If he doesn't, then either right before or right after we leave, we will ask you to come because he is so depressed." Mark was nervous after hearing that. "Chris, have you been through this before? It certainly sounded it." Chris replied, "Not with Lance, but with the rest of us." "Why not Lance?" Mark inquired. Chris answered, "It's not my place to say, but he hasn't been even minimally interested in a guy in about a year. His last relationship ended badly." "What happened?" Chris was upset at himself for saying what he did, but felt that Mark should know. "The bastard cheated on him from the day we left to go to Europe. It was the first guy he liked after coming out." Mark knew all too well how that felt. His last lover had cheated on him for months. When Mark found out and confronted him, he was savagely beated and left to die. "Poor guy. I know how that feels. It's so hard when the guy you are so much in love with does that to you. Chris replied, "Lance never loved him. He was close to being in love, but I don't think he had fallen yet." Mark could not believe what Chris was saying. Could he be Lance's first love? He thought Chris was lying. It was hard for him to fathom in the first place that he even met Lance and the rest of the guys let alone that Lance loved him. "Are you trying to tell me that I am Lance's first love?" he asked, almost scared to know the answer. "Yes, Mark. You are his first love. That is one of the reasons why we seem to be a little wary of all of this. It has nothing to do with you. We all really like you." "Well, there's always Justin. He could always hate me." Chris thought about that comment for a minute. He strongly felt that that wouldn't happen, because Justin seems to like everyone he meets. Chris has always been worried that Justin could get hurt beause he seems to trust people too much. He told Mark a lot about Justin, that he doubted Justin could ever hate him. Mark was still worried. There was nothing Chris could say that would calm him down. Things were going way too good, in his opinion. When was he going to mess up? He remembered all of the mistakes he made with Joel, and he never dated Joel. Mark knew how it felt to have your heart broken so badly from someone you thought cared about you. His last laver had cheated on him for months. When Mark found out and confronted him, he was savagely beated and left to die. "Poor guy! I know how that feels." Chris was concerned for Mark and felt bad for him. "You've been throught that too?" Mark explained his situation. After he was beaten, he was in the hospital for weeks. After being released, he went th rough counseling to make him strong enough emotionally to file charges and go through a long and hard trial. During that trial, the defense attorney tried to get the jury to believe it was self defense, that his ex feared for his life. "That was really hard for me to hear, that I would ever kill someone I loved." Mark started to speak, but was also fighting off tears. Unknown to either Mark or Chris, Joel was standing outside the door, listening to Mark tell the story. He walked into the room, startling both of them. "I'm sorry, guys. I was about to come in when Mark was talking about that asshole John." Mark sighed loudly. "You would think that I would be over him by now." Joel replied, "Mark, you know it's going to take some time. You've come so far already. Being able to truly love Lance and let him love you back is a huge step." He paused, reliving that part of Mark's life. He immediately started feeling very guilty that he could not prevent any of what happened. "Mark, I am so sorry I couldn't have..." Mark interrupted Joel. "Joel, you couldn't have done anything. There was absolutely no sign that he would react that way when I confronted him." Joel was not able to feel better. "I know, but I am your friend. I should have protected you." Mark answered, "I can't tell you how much that means to me. I would not be alive if it weren't for you. I would never have been able to get through the trial without you in my life. I would have offed myself for sure." "I do love you, Mark, and I promise from now on to do anything and everything I can to make sure you never have to go through anything bad again." "I promise to same to you. You know that already. I..." Mark stopped suddenly when he realized what Joel said. "Joel, what did you just say? I must be hearing things." Joel also realized what he said. It was the first time he actually told Mark how he felt. "You heard me right, Mark." Mark was so unprepared to hear Joel tell him he loved him that he almost started to hyperventilate. "I don't want to sound like Sally Field, but you love me? You really love me?" Chris and Joel cracked up laughing. "Yes, Sally... uh... Mark. I do love you. I thought you knew that." After hearing it for the second time, Mark was at a loss for words. Joel continued laughing seeing that, knowing how hard it was to shut Mark up. Mark loved to talk. He could talk for hours about anything and everything... and nothing. Chris shouted, "Lance! Get your butt in here and calm your boyfriend down!" Lance immediately came into the room. He saw mark, hugged him tightly and passionately kissed him. It took several minutes of kissing to get Mark more cognizant of where he was. "Are you OK, Mark?" Lance asked, lovingly. Mark breathed in and out for a little bit then said to Lance, "I'll probably die from too much passion, but what away to go! I will be OK, baby." Lance was worried about Mark. "What happened in here?" Mark explained to Lance had happened with him with his lover. As he was talking, Lance started to cry. As Mark told more of the story, the harder Lance cried. Eventually, JC and Joey came in and heard the end of the story. When Mark was done, he looked at everyone. He saw the looks of concern in their eyes. "I'm OK, guys. I'm more than OK. I am in love with James and he loves me, too." JC was very angry, "If that asshole ever gets near you again, I will kill that fucker!" Lance, Joey, and Chris looked at JC very stunned. "You better believe him, Mark. He never uses language like that unless he is really angry." Joey said. JC replied, "Of course I am angry. I knew something had to have happened to him to cause him to have those feelings that we saw. I just never thought that it would be that bad!" Mark saw Lance was crying very hard. He rushed to him and hugged him tight. "Baby, don't cry! I am so sorry!" Lance looked deep in Mark's eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's all his fault. I wish he was dead!" All of a sudden there is the sound of a cell phone ringing. Everyone checks their phone, but it was Mark's phone that was ringing. He answers the phone. "Hello?" It was Scott, an old friend of Mark's who was also his lawyer for the trial. "Hey, Mark! How you doing?" "Scott, I am great! I have a lot to tell you!" He was almost giggling when he said that. Scott answered back, "The news can't be as great as mine is." Mark had his curiosity peaked. "What is the news that is that huge?" "There was a murder today in prison. Guess who died?" he hinted. "No way! Him?" Mark said, hoping he was right. Scott confirmed his suspicisions. John, the man who was Mark's lover but ended up gravely beaitng him, was stabbed by another convict and died after being in the prison medical ward for a couple of weeks. He died in a lot of pain. Mark looked at Lance then said to Scott, "Can I call you back? I need to tell some friends about this." Scott asked Mark where he was. Mark told him he was at the hospital because a friend of his was sick. He didn't say that the friend was Justin Timberlake. He hung up the phone. Lance was confused. "What was that all about?" Mark replied, "That was Scott, my lawyer. Lance, can you wish I won the lottery?" Lance was now even more confused than before. "What are you talking about?" Mark answered, "Apparently your wishes come true. Scott told me that John was stabbed a couple of weeks ago and died today." JC yelled, "Oh my God!" Joey, Chris, and JC were celebrating. Joel was stunned. Mark didn't know what to think. Yes, the guy who beat him was dead, but he still did love him at one time. Lance felt guilty that he said he wised John was dead and now that wish came true. Lance meekly said, "I'm sorry, Mark. Maybe I shouldn't be in your life after all." He walked away, slowly. He didn't want this relationship to end so soon, but he felt he was doing more harm to Mark than good. "Lance! Don't go!" Mark said with compassion. When Lance heard that, he ran off. "God, we definitely are made for each other, running away from their problems. We'll be back." He runs off, in search of Lance. TO BE CONTINUED Author's Note: Yes, no sex again, but it really IS coming. I admit I am a little scared to write a sex scene, but when I do, I hope you all love it. Please e-mail me with comments and suggestions! I need them! The address is at the top.