Date: Sun, 16 Jan 2000 17:34:38 EST From: Kenitra Writer Subject: fates reason Part 2 NOTES: NEWBIE, NEWBIE, NEWBIE - There you have it! This is my first post so any comments would be appreciated. But please, if you can't be kind, at least be funny. : -)) Please let me know what you think at kenitra_canada@hotmail.com. Thanks for those who wrote after chapter one was posted. I wasn't expecting such a nice response! :-)) LEGALITIES: You know the drill. If you are under the legal age for whatever state, province or country you live in, don't read this story. If you are offended by material about homosexual relationships, DON'T READ IT. This is a complete work of fiction, as everyone should know. It is not intended to imply anything about any one of the Backstreet Boys or any one else. The characters and characterizations are completely invented. Hope you enjoy! Kenitra (P.S. Thought I'd let you know - I'm female. Hope you don't hold it against me! lol :)) Fate's Reason +++++++++++++ Part 2 ************************************** The sound of a door closing returned Mark to consciousness. "How long did I sleep?" he asked aloud. "I'm sorry Mark, did I wake you?" Brian apologized moving so Mark could see him. "Its okay." "You've been asleep for about two hours," Brian told him. "I ordered some food. I thought you might be hungry." Mark realized that he was hungry, but he also had to go to the bathroom. He began to swing his legs off the bed and Brian immediately rushed over. "What's wrong?" he asked anxiously. Mark looked up and smiled, "Nothing that a trip to the can won't take care of." "Oh." Brian helped Mark stand. He put Mark's arm around his shoulder while his own arm went around Mark's waist. Very slowly they walked to the bathroom. Once through the door, Mark leaned on the counter. "I can take it from here," he said to Brian. "Oh, yeah, of course," Brian stammered, blushing. "I'll wait outside." Mark closed the door and worked his way to the toilet. Once done, he moved back to the sink and looked up at his reflection in the mirror. "Oh My God!" he exclaimed, horrified. His straight blond hair was matted with dirt and dried blood. He had a cut above his right eye and both eyes were black and blue. His lips were swollen and cut. As his eyes moved lower, he saw that his hairless chest also had dried blood and some scrapes. His lower ribcage was a dark purplish-blue. Brian had heard his gasp and immediately opened the door. Mark looked at Brian in the mirror. "God, how can you tell that I'm even a man?" Mark whispered, close to tears. 'Very easily,' Brian wanted to say. Mark had expected it to be bad, but not that bad. He leaned heavily on the counter feeling suddenly weak. Brian helped him over to the closed toilet and made Mark sit. Then he turned the tap on and began filling the deep whirlpool tub with hot water. "What are you doing?" Mark asked, still shaken by his own appearance. Brian squatted down in front of him, wanting to comfort Mark, but not sure how. "You're going to take a hot bath Mark. We'll clean the dirt and blood off, and the heat will help the sore muscles and bruises," he explained gently. "Then we'll get you back into bed with some food. You'll feel better, I promise." The intensity of Brian's voice made Mark believe him. The tub filled quickly and Brian shut off the water. He helped Mark stand and take off his briefs. He helped Mark step up to the raised tub, then lower himself into the hot water. Mark leaned back against the tub and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the water immediately ease his sore muscles. Brian sat down on the step and wet a cloth. Ever so gently, he washed Mark's arms and chest. He noticed again, the long scar across Mark's chest, but didn't ask. Brian then softly patted the damp cloth on Mark's battered face removing the dirt and blood. Grabbing a glass off the counter he poured water over marks hair. Brian added shampoo, then poured more water to rinse. Mark remained immobile, lulled by the heat and the gentle caresses of Brian's hands. Mark moaned softly when Brian stopped. Everything went still; the only sound was the two men breathing. Suddenly Mark felt something soft at his temple; Brian's lips. Brian softly kissed down the side of Mark's face. Mark moaned and turned his head, his lips finding Brian's. The pain from his injured lips was nothing compared to the intense pleasure caused by the lips touching his. Brian suddenly realized what he was doing, and pulled back. Mark opened his eye. "I'm sorry," Brian whispered. "For what?" Mark asked. Brian just shook his head. He turned and grabbed a towel; his whole attitude changing. "We should get you out of there before the water cools down too much." He helped Mark stand and climb out, ignoring the aroused state of Mark's body. Brian wrapped the towel around Mark's shivering frame, then ran out into the bedroom to grab the clothes Nick had brought in earlier. He helped Mark into the jeans and shirt then led him back out to the bed. Once Mark was propped against the pillows, Brian brought the food over. "I wasn't sure what you'd like so I just ordered some soup and crackers and more juice." He set the tray on Mark's lap but refused to meet Mark's eyes. Brian returned to his chair and magazine. Mark sighed and began to slowly eat the hot chicken soup. It tasted wonderful and Mark quickly finished the bowl. "Brian, I'm sorry," Mark suddenly said, hating the awkward silence that had sprung up. Brian slowly put down the magazine and walked over to the bed. He looked at Mark. "What do you have to be sorry for?" he asked softly. "For whatever I did to make you angry," Mark whispered. Brian sighed and took the tray from Mark before sitting down on the side of the bed. "Mark," Brian said gently, "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just…" he searched for the right words. "You're hurt and vulnerable right now and I felt like I was taking advantage of that. I'm angry at myself Mark, not you." Mark reached out and touched Brian's arm, drawing his gaze up. "Brian, I got beat up last night and yes, I hurt like hell, but I'm not a child. I'm twenty-five years old," Mark told him softly. Brian couldn't take his eyes away from the gray eyes staring into his soul. Something about this man was drawing him like a magnet. Brian leaned forward; reaching out to gently touch the bruised cheek before his lips touched Mark's. Both of them savored the slow sweet kiss, gently exploring the lips of the other, but not demanding anything. The kiss continued until Brian's mouth touched a particularly painful spot and Mark gasped as the pain shot through him. Brian pulled back. Their eyes locked and before Brian could apologize, Mark put his fingers over Brian's lips, shaking his head. Since the opportunity was there, Brian pulled back so he could kiss those fingers, nibbling them gently. Mark giggled softly and ran his fingers along that incredible jaw, shaking his head slightly as he thought about who it was that was kissing his way up Mark's arm. Brian smiled. "What?" Mark couldn't help but smile back. "Well, last night I was in the Skydome, watching you sing on stage, thinking what an amazing show you put on despite being sick as dogs and now," he shrugged, "and now I'm here." "You didn't know I was gay?" Brian asked, not even thinking that he was revealing his biggest secret. Mark shook his head. "Not until you kissed me in the bathroom, and then I wasn't sure because of your reaction." Brian sighed, "I get so sick of pretending sometimes." Mark smiled ruefully. "I know what you mean." Brian looked at Mark thoughtfully. "You know, I get so wrapped up in protecting my own image that sometimes I forget what its like for someone in a regular job." "I've never really broached the issue with my bosses, but it's just a feeling I have." Mark shrugged. "I'd rather not know." He looked at Brian. "What about you? Would it really be that bad for you and the band if you came out publicly? Didn't that guy, Stephen Gately come out this year?" Brian nodded. "He did, but that’s because someone was going to *out* him. I thinks it's different in Europe than over here in North America." Brian looked away. "I've never had a reason to go public and until today, only four people knew for sure." He met Mark's gaze, "now there's five." Mark smiled, honored that Brian trusted him with the truth. There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," Brian called and four men filed in. "We thought we could hear voices and wanted to know how Mark was feeling," Kevin said. No one commented on the newly cleaned and dressed Mark, although all noticed. Mark looked at the four of them. "I'm feeling much better, thanks." Howie sat down on the end of the bed. "I was wondering if you'd tell us more about where you work?" he asked. "Sure." While Mark began talking about Forever's Child, Kevin got Brian's attention and the two walked out into the hall. "B. what's going on?" Kevin asked, concerned about his cousin. Brian shook his head. "I don't know Boo. Its hard to explain, but," Brian paused not wanting to continue, but he did. "I told him about me." "Oh Brian, you didn't?" Kevin exclaimed, not wanting to believe it. Brian looked down at the floor. "I kinda had to after I kissed him," he said softly. Kevin slammed his hand against the wall. "Shit, Brian. What are you trying to do?" Before Brian realized it, tears were streaming down his face. "I don't know Kevin." He slumped against the wall, sliding down to the floor. "I'm so sick of being someone I'm not. I hate that I have to lie to everyone, to my family." Kevin sat down beside his cousin. "I'm sorry B. I guess I forget how hard this is for you. You know that me and the guys will support you, no matter what. We've talked about this and we're behind you one hundred percent." Brian smiled weakly at Kevin. "I know Boo. I just don't think I can tell Mom. And I can't go public until I tell her." Kevin put his arm protectively around Brian. "Brian, I think you underestimate Aunt Jackie. But even if you're right, you can't keep living your life for her. Didn't she always teach you to be true to yourself?" Brian wiped the tears from his face. "I think we should go back inside before those guys tire Mark out," Brian said, changing the subject as he stood. Kevin let it go. "Okay, Brian." They went back in and found their three bandmates sitting on the end of the bed listening to Mark. "So what made you get into a job like that?" Nick asked. Mark looked down "I was born with a twin sister. Both of us had congenital heart defects. The only way we would live to grow up was with heart transplants. I was six when they found a donor for me." Tears began to roll down his cheeks. "My sister, Maria, lived till she was eight. They never found a donor for her." "I'm sorry," Nick whispered, regretting his question. Howie reached up and touched Mark's arm. "Sorry man, I know what it's like to lose a sister." Mark smiled weakly. "I remember reading about that. I'm sorry to dredge up painful memories for you." Howie shook his head. "Its okay." Brian coughed none too subtly. "Guys I really think Mark needs to get some more rest," he said when they all looked at him. "Okay." "Sure Brian." "Talk to you later Mark." "See ya later." Brian returned to his seat beside Mark and looked at him intently. "How are you really feeling, Mark?" Mark leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. "I'm tired, but," he stopped Brian from getting angry at his friends, "I'm really glad I had a chance to talk to the guys. They're all really cool and easy to talk to." Brian had to agree. There was a lull, then Mark spoke. "Are things okay between you and Kevin?" Brian nodded. "Yeah, we're cool." Brian looked around the room as he was thinking. "Ya know, you probably should take a few days off work to let yourself heal," he suggested. Mark looked at him and raised his eyebrows. "I probably should. But all I would be doing is sitting at home alone." "What about riding a bus?" Brian asked so softly that Mark almost didn't hear him. Mark smiled to himself, realizing what Brian was asking. "Well, I suppose I could ride a bus. It would depend on where the bus was going." Brian looked at Mark and smiled. Ottawa then Detroit," he said. "Ah, two fine cities I've been wanting to visit again." Mark grinned, "When do we leave?" "We leave tomorrow morning. Our concert is tomorrow night." Mark nodded. "I'll need to go to my apartment and get some things." Mark stopped to yawn. Brian crawled carefully over Mark's legs and up the other side of the bed. He slowly put his arm behind Mark's shoulders, replacing the pillows with his arm. He brushed some still damp hair off Mark's forehead. "You need some more sleep. It's only early afternoon, so we can get your stuff later." Mark relaxed against the warmth of Brian's chest and enjoyed the feel of Brian's hand resting over his own beating heart. In a matter of minutes, Mark was asleep. Brian joined him soon after. Sometime while they were asleep, Mark rolled over on his side. Brian curled up behind him, his arm around Mark's waist. Neither man heard the door open or woke up when the camera clicked and the flash went off. *********************** Just a little cliffhanger! ;) Kenitra