Date: Mon, 5 Jun 2000 14:46:13 -0700 (PDT) From: Clive Subject: First Impression 5 Comments:- Hi all... thanks for all the mail I got over the last chapter, sorry if I haven't writen back to all of you but I had so much over the three weeks I was away in Greece. I have added more stuff to my website and the addy can be found at the bottom of the story. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. Finally once again I would appreciate any comments (good or bad) to: bigc79_uk@yahoo.com Thanks and hope you enjoy the story :) Disclaimer:- This story is fiction and does not imply anything about the group * Nsync or any other person involved in full or in part. If you are under the legal age to read such material in your area please leave immediately. The author takes no responsibility for anyone's actions based upon this work of fiction. Previously:- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Mike... erm Michael, I was wondering if we could talk," JC stood waiting for an answer gazing in to the deep pools that were Michaels eyes hoping to see something there that he knew he felt. "I suppose you don't feel like talking." This time JC seemed disheartened and broken. Michael snapped out of his trance as JC shifted his gaze away and the contact with those blue idyllic eyes was lost. It was only now that Michael noticed that he had spaced out and that JC seemed... some what dishevelled and almost rejected... "I'm sorry Josh, what did you say?" Michael asked in a caring and enduring tone "I... don't worry... we can talk some other time." Was all JC said as he started to skulk off towards the end door where the rest of the guys were staying. "Josh, please." was all Michael need say. As the words reached JC they were almost hypnotic, JC's feed felt heavy and he felt the need to turn and move close towards the other... but how could he, they were so different. Weren't they? JC didn't turn he just felt his heart fall and he slowly broke down quietly feeling the need to be held, to hold, and to be loved. Of course he couldn't let anyone in the group see him like this so he turned with slow deliberate gate to his stance not looking up to the eyes of the man in front of him he moved forward once again. As he reached to Michael he slowly lifted his eyes to meet those pools of pure affection again. "Josh..." was all Michael said before he was silenced by JC's lips. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ First Impression Chapter Five: Explanations By Clive JC kept his lips in contact with Michaels for what seemed like an eternity but soon enough it had to end. The kiss wasn't complex it was simple... just lips on lips nothing more but then at the same time nothing less. During the connection Michael had closed his eyes in pleaser and revelled in the feeling that he was experiencing. As JC moved slowly away to break the kiss, he felt Michael move into it further and as he did his eyes drew open and it was the first time that both men had experienced the feeling of pure bliss. "Josh..." again Michael was silenced but this time not by JC's lips but his index finger. JC leaned into Michael and moving his hands down towards Michale's hips he slowly forced Michael to turn so he was once again facing the door to his room. Michael needed no other indication of JC's intentions and proceeded to the undo the door, and then both moved into the darkness that was the main reception room of the suit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hey Just... go and see what is keeping JC will ya?" Lance hollered from the corner of the main room. "K... one min" Justin responded as he made his way over to the door of the suit. What he saw took his breath away. Lance noticed Justin's withdrawn attention and started to speak to him, but it was as if he couldn't be heard. Justin carried on mumbling to him self over and over the same thing but it wasn't until Lance got close to Justin that he could audibly make out what it was he was saying. "I... no way... I mean... I knew that... but he can't be gay" "Who's gay Just?", Lance paused after saying the words as Justin's head whipped round to meet Lance's gaze. "I didn't mean to listen in... it's just you were looking kinda out of it. You know, how it is...", Lance was cut off as Justin turned his back to him and started to walk off to his room. Lance tried one last time to get Justin's attention and to apologise for his intrusion but again to no avail because by this time Justin had reached his room and firmly shut the door with a almighty slam sending shivers through Lance feet all the way up his spine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So there was something you wanted to tell me Josh?" Michael said with a smile beaming across his face. And even though it was dark in the room JC didn't need to see the smile on Michaels face, he could feel it. Not physically, it was unexplainable he could sense what the other man was feeling almost as if they were connected. Maybe it was the way that Michael had posed the question or maybe it was because of the tenderness that he had said it with. JC didn't know and nor did he care, instead he moved in for another kiss this time being more forceful and passionate not like the simple kiss the two had exchanged in the hallway earlier. This had equally the same amount of feeling as before but there was need behind this kiss pure passion and lust was taking over his body. Michael back away from the kiss as JC had done earlier, and he lifted his hand up to JC's face and caressed his cheek. "Josh... I can't. Not at the moment. I mean I want to, but it is to early. We've only known each other a day." Michael was speaking quietly and in short raspy breaths not wanting to discourage JC, but knowing that in all honesty they had only known each other a small amount of time and it wasn't like him to jump it to something like this without testing the water first. "Michael...", JC was now mimicking Michael's hand and caressing the others cheek with such tenderness that the feeling was almost mind blowing, "I don't want to rush things either. If you want to wait that is fine. But just because we can't do that stuff doesn't mean we can't do other stuff... any way I wanted to talk to you. About you." As JC finished he felt Michael's head tilt down and sensed that something was troubling him JC lifted Michael's head up again and by now both men's eyes had adjusted to the lack of light and JC looked Michael square on and with out saying anything Michael knew what JC was asking. "I'm sorry Josh, it's just that when I tell you, your views of me will change... like every one else." Michael said this with such sadness in his voice that JC wanted to reach out and hold him and take away all the pain, but he knew that that wouldn't solve the problem so instead JC pushed on. "Michael, isn't that up to me to make that decision, just like it is up to you whether you tell me or not. But I want you to know, that I have let you into my life. Do you know how hard it is to meet people? They are instantly after me either because of my fame or my money. People treat me as an object they can use. But you didn't. You don't treat me as JC from Nsync. You treat me as Josh... the real person." As JC said this, tears were forming in his eyes and Michael could make out the glazed over look that was appearing in his new found lovers eyes. "I'm sorry Josh... but trust me I know where you are coming from." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hey Lance did you find JC?" Joey questioned Lance unaware of the situation that had just arisen between Lance and Justin. "Ummm... nope, I wanted to go over some of the schedule with him... but I don't know where he's at. Sorry Joey." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "If I tell you..." Michael seemed to stop in mid thought and put his head down in a defeatist pose, "you got to promise me you won't leave, or act an differently towards me." Michael now looked up to meet JC's gaze and waited but JC seemed to be in deep though over this. "Promise me Josh.... please", and at this point Michael wasn't being the dominant and vivacious character he normally was. Instead he was childlike and the despair and pain could be plainly heard in the way that he had begged for JC's acceptance. JC tightened his eyes and slowly shook his head and look to Michael, with his hands he clasped Michael's and showed that no matter what it was Michael had to say it was obvious that JC wouldn't think any less of him. Michael turned and with JC in-toe moved over to the sofa. The room was still pitch black but since both had been in the room for so long their eyes had slowly adjusted to the lack of colour and each could clearly make our the other and the others features. "You know I got some bad news awhile back about a family member right?" Michael began and looking on towards JC to see if he did remember the incident involving the ice. JC didn't say anything but simply nodded his remembrance of the earlier incident. "As it happens my Grandfather died, he had been living his life with out ever tell his family, and most importantly his three daughters, my mother and her two sisters" Michael clarified for JC's benefit. things that he knew would split them apart. "My grandfather was a great man", Michael said this with such emotion to the level that he brought tears to his own eyes which were quickly brushed away by JC's left hand his thumb moving slowly and deliberately across Michaels cheek offering reassurance and showing his presence. At this Michael locked eyes with JC and continues, "He had foresight and a talent matched only by the size of his heart. When he was younger, and I mean along time ago... he took his monthly salary that he received from the Air Force and placed it into stocks, bonds and shares. Some did well some didn't. But those that did... well they continued to accumulate." Michael swallowed hard at the though of his grandfather and all that he had entrusted him with. "Any way, my grandfather past away November 17th two years ago..." again Michael began to get choked up, "he died of multiple brain cancers. He had know about them for some time and had set into action all his right and laws of will. In fact he knew about them for over fifteen years. The doctors said it was miraculous that he managed to stay with us till the end." "God, I'm sorry Michael, I didn't know..." this time it was JC who was choked up and the pain that he could see Michael going through, and just as JC had done Michael rubbed his lovers cheek in an attempt to brush away the pain he was now feeling. "Josh, you don't need to be sorry. I loved him he was the one constant in my life and I may have been lost with out him but I feel that I am found now that I am with you." As Michael reassured JC he tilted his head in and as he finished he placed a gentle kiss on JC's lips. Nothing powerful just enough to show love and ease the worried look JC was forming. "Any way, " Michael said as he sat back against the side arm of the sofa, "In my country you pay a lot of tax on death duty, in fact it you pay forty percent of all money and assets transferred from the deceased to the receiver. And like I say my grandfather wasn't a stupid man, the day he found out he was terminal he transferred all his capital to an concealed account that way cheating the system. That account was set up under my name." JC looked on in confusion as Michael explained it, not that he didn't understand the tax thingy just that he wasn't sure why Michael was telling him all this. "Josh, the whole reason I am telling you this is because my Grandfather left me with his whole estate, and assets. He left no one else in the family a penny. My aunties and their families contested the will and so did my own family, but at the end of the day there was no actual change in the will. The money was changed, like I say, fifteen years before hand." As Michael went on JC soon began to realise why his new lover had been so withdrawn about letting people in on the 'secret'. "I got to ask babe," JC again firmly grasped Michaels hands with his, "how much did you end up with?" Michael had been expecting this and looked down with a sad expression, "Six billion, two hundred million and seventy thousand after the small tax handle fee." JC's eyes almost bugged out and the figure. In fact he was in such dismay that he didn't realise that he had become like a stone figure and still holding on now ever tight to Michael's hands. Michael on the other hand looked up and seeing JC's face began to weep silently, but not quietly enough because this change in state brought JC back to the present and seeing his Michael's tears made him ache. In one motion JC pulled Michael in to the tightest embrace that he could muster. It wasn't one that forced air out of their lungs yet it was the most comforting feeling either of them had felt in a long time. "Now Josh, you see why I needed to know that you wouldn't leave me... you won't use me, the reason I want to be just me." Michael need say no more, JC would feel the guilt riding up in him. Only a short while ago he had used the same kind of words on Michael, for he could understand how people would want to use him for his money and his influence, and not see the real Michael. "Michael, is there more that you need to tell me?" "I suppose I owe it to you to let you know why I am here. Back home I spent near a year fighting legal battles with my blood, almost all my family tried to cash in on my new found wealth, but Grandpa had placed a clause in his will forbidding me from transferring any of the equity to any others. To this day I don't know why but I do know the reason he never told anybody about the money. I have lost all my friends, family and every one to date that I care for." "You'll never lose me babe, this I promise you. My first impression of you was one of a man who needed to be loved and I will always be here to love you as long as you are willing to love me back." "Josh... I... I don't know if I love you, but I want to see." Michael couldn't he smiling from ear to ear again for the second time. In fact it was a feeling that he had long ago forgotten, that feeling you get when you know you are truly loved because of you and not because of who or what you are. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lance had walked backwards and forwards constantly for 10 minutes trying to understand why Justin had flown of the handle with him and where the hell JC had gotton to. Thinking it was possible that JC had gone to see Michael, Lance thought to himself that it would be a good idea to go see if he could find him. He made a silent exit from the hotel suit of Nsync and made his way down to the only other room occupied on that floor. As he was about to rap on the door Lance could make out JC and Michaels voices through the not so thick partition. "You'll never lose me babe, this I promise you. My first impression of you was one of a man who needed to be loved and I will always be here to love you as long as you are willing to love me back." Lance's head was spinning... he thought he had just heard JC propose his love to another man but it couldn't be, "Josh... I... I don't know if I love you, but I want to see." But as Lance heard the joyous reply of Michael, Lance couldn't control himself he felt a mixture of emotions himself. TBC.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finally Contact info :) You can reach me by mail: bigc79_uk@yahoo.com ICQ me: #56762367 Visit my webpage: http://www.geocities.com/author_clive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~