Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2000 17:49:27 EDT
From: Kb79@aol.com
Subject: Fixing The Backstreet Boys, Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters
are completely fictional. This is not saying anything about the sexual
orientation of the Backstreet Boys.

WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. The sex will be
light, but it will be present. If this offends you, don't read. If you
are under 18 years of age, don't read. If reading this story causes you
to break any laws, don't read.

FEEDBACK: This is my first story. So if I'm doing a horrible job, or if
you love it, or if you just wanna say hi, email me at Kb79@aol.com and
we can chat. Thanks a bunch.

QUICK REMINDER: This is the end, my beautiful friend. This is the end. My
only friend. The end.


FIXING THE BACKSTREET BOYS
CHAPTER 12

There had been two sessions since that last session. They both went well,
short, despite the fact everyone was trying to ignore the whole thing
between Kevin and Aidan. But they knew that if anyone could work something
out, it was Aidan and Kevin.

The last session was today and if all went well they would be going home
tomorrow.

Aidan walked into the living to see everyone sitting together on couches.

As usual, AJ and Brian were right next to each other. They were engaged in
some conversation and had their eyes locked. AJ's hand was in Brian's and
it was obvious how much love they had for each other. These past weeks had
so wonderful for their relationship. It was so strong now, they'd be able
to face anything that came their way.

Nick and Howie had begun spending a lot of time together again, that song
they had been working on so long ago, still needed to be finished. Nick and
Howie were both doing great. They both worked through all the "baggage"
they had brought with them on this trip. They were both back to their
normal selves and ready to get back to the daily grind.

Kevin was sitting back on the couch, relaxing, with a smile on his face. He
was proud of himself and his friends. Kevin could confidently say he hadn't
wanted, needed, a drink in quite a few days now. He was enjoying the peace
and quiet, spending time with his brothers and Aidan.

They all looked rested. Aidan could at least say that much. Healthy?
Physically, yes, of course. Mentally? Well they were now as adjusted as
much as 5 men who have been through all these five have been through can
be.

Aidan had to smile as he entered the room. He walked over to his usual seat
and sat down.

"So you love each other or what?" Aidan laughed as he settled himself.

The guys looked up at him and broke into smiles.

"Who us? Nah..." Nick joked.

"Yeah, these guys mean nothing to me." AJ said, trying to keep a straight
face.

"Once we leave here I am going far away from all of them." Brian added.

"Oh yeah, if I never see them again, it will be too soon." Howie threw in.

They all cracked up. Kevin looked at them as if they were nuts.

"I don't know what they are talking about, I think they are all just
great!" Kevin said in his best queen voice.

"Just the answers I wanted! I think I need to keep you here for another 2
months!" Aidan said, barely keeping the smile off his lips.

"AHHH!!! Joking!!! I love them, really I do!!!" Nick screamed.

They all laughed together again.

"On a serious note guys, I want to talk about your future plans. First off
AJ and Brian, what do you two plan once you leave here?" Aidan asked.

"Well, we are going home to tell our families." Brian answered.

"Yeah, hopefully that will go well, and if it does, we are going to try and
find a place together." AJ added.

"And on tours and stuff we'll be together of course. We just have gotten
very comfortable being together, we don't want to lose that." Brian said.

"Do you plan on letting the public know?" Aidan asked.

"No, and not because we are ashamed or anything, it's just it's our private
business. Not the worlds." AJ said.

"Understandable." Aidan gave them a smile. "It sounds like you two are
doing great, I wish you the best, and if you ever need anything, help
breaking it to the parents or anything, you know who to call."

Aidan looked to see who would be next.

"Howie? So what are your plans?" Aidan asked.

"Well, I'm going home too. I need to have a long talk with my family as
well. I need them to know, that way I'll have their support as well. I
don't plan on coming out to the public either, they don't need to know our
whole lives. I'm just gonna relax, maybe look for a boyfriend. That and
keep working on the song with Nicky." Howie said.

"Great, good luck with all of that. When you find the perfect guy, you
better bring him here for a visit!" Aidan smiled.

"Of course." Howie smiled back.

"And Nick? How about you?" Aidan asked, turning to Nick.

"Going to go hang out with my brother and sisters for the rest of the
break. A few more days of being a kid! And as Howie said, doing a little
musical work. That's about it." Nick answered.

"Good, remember to have a good time sometimes okay? And keep the video
games to a minimum, you'll go blind!" Aidan joked with him. "Really though,
anytime you want a place to hang, Becca and Ashley will love seeing you
again."

"Thanks Aidan." Nick said.

"Well, Kev, how about you?" Aidan said not really wanting to ask.

"Definitely no more drinking, at least not like I had been, possibly an
occasional social drink. I'm going to chill at home for a while, see how
Kristin is, stuff like that, unless something else comes up." Kevin looked
straight at Aidan when he said that.

"Sounds good. I am very proud of all of you. You have gone so far in such a
short time. I hope you have all you need to make sure all of your
relationships stand stable from now on. I must say this has been an amazing
case and I will miss all of you." Aidan stood up and swept his arms in a
grand gesture. "I pronounce all of you cured. You will go home tomorrow!"

Everyone cheered and hugged each other. They were all going off to pack,
and Aidan was going to go make some lunch. Kevin stopped him though.

"I guess it is time to decide what is going to happen between the two of
us, huh?" Aidan said to him.

"Yeah, I guess we do." Kevin agreed.

"You don't think this would really work do you?" Aidan said.

"Yeah! I think it would!" Kevin looked very concerned all of the sudden.

I mean, you are great Kevin, I really like you, but there is so much to
consider." Aidan explained.

"I love you Aidan, what is there to consider?" Kevin questioned.

"It can't possibly be love yet! And a dozen things, you said one yourself
just a few minutes ago, what about Kristin?" Aidan continued.

"I'll break it off with Kristin, she'll understand! It is love, I don't
feel for her like a feel for you!" Kevin was all of the sudden
terrified. He felt the tears swell.

"Kevin, this was amazing, I have never experienced anything like you in my
life! But when it all comes down to it, you were my patient! I can't date
you, especially since you are so high profile." Aidan stated.

"Then why the hell did you lead me to believe there was a chance?" Kevin
said softly.

"I don't know, maybe, if you weren't who you were..." Aidan struggled.

"If all that is keeping you from being with me is your job, quit, come with
me, work for the Backstreet Boys, that way I can have you with me always."
Kevin had a renewed sense of hope.

"I can't do that, this is my career, I have worked to hard, for to long to
get were I am, I'm not going to throw that all away." Aidan wasn't going to
lie to him. "Why don't you quit, you have enough money, stay here with me."

"As if! I'm a fucking Backstreet Boy! I'm not going to quit to shack up
with some guy!" Kevin was appalled at the idea.

"But that's exactly what you just suggested I do!" Aidan could not believe
the double standard.

"With me you wouldn't be shacking up! We'd find a job for you on tour or
something." Kevin shot back.

"Like what? Bringing you lunch? Or better yet, could I be the guy in charge
of holding your head as you puke once you fall off the wagon?" Aidan wasn't
holding anything back.

"You fucking prick! One minute you are supportive and caring, and the next
you are a raving asshole! Fuck Dr. Connor, I think you must be Dr. Jekyll!"
Kevin was giving as good as he was taking.

"I can't believe I almost considered a relationship with someone as selfish
and over bearing as you!" Aidan was glaring at Kevin as he said that.

Kevin got right in Aidan's face. "Well don't worry too much. I wasn't even
considering, you were fun to play with though."

"You're lying." Aidan paled.

"I guess you'll never know." Kevin's tone dropped and his face softened.

"I guess not." Aidan whispered.

Kevin gave Aidan one last look. It was a look of pain, of anger, and of
goodbye. He left the room and went upstairs to pack.

Aidan sat down on the couch.

"Fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit, fucking shit." Aidan mumbled to
himself. "Why did I do that?"

"Aidan?" Ashley appeared at his side.

"What sweetie?" Aidan asked weakly.

"You okay?" Ashley asked carefully, sitting next to him and throwing her
arm around his shoulder.

"No Ashley, I'm not. But it's my own fault and I have to face the
consequences." Aidan said flatly.

"Are you sure about that? There is nothing you can do?" Ashley asked, fear
in her voice.

"No Ashley, obviously you heard us. I'm his doctor, the ethics of the
situation would be horrible. I took an oath when I took this job, and I'm
not going to break it." Aidan explained.

"Not even for the man who could be your soul mate?" Becca joined the two on
the couch.

"I have no idea if he is even the man who could be my friend. We have not
known each other long enough. And I may be inexperienced, but I for sure
know you do not end up with your first love." Aidan answered.

"Yeah, you don't end up with your first love if it's the person you date in
6th grade. We are talking something different here." Ashley said.

"I know." Aidan replied.

"Then why don't you do something about it? Work this out! Don't let him
leave believing you don't love him!" Becca instructed.

"Wait, who said I love him?" Aidan stuttered.

"You did Aidan." Ashley answered.

"I never said that!" Aidan insisted.

"Yes you did." Becca said calmly. "With every look you gave him, every
touch you shared, and every word you spoke. We have known for a while how
you felt about him."

Aidan sank back into the couch. Why were they always right? He couldn't
take it anymore. He buried his head in his hands and began to cry.

Ashley wrapped her arms tightly around her brother and Becca embraced them
both.

Upstairs all of the boys were watching Kevin pack. Kevin was trying his
best to do the work despite the eight eyes following his every move. There
was tears threatening to fall and he didn't want AJ, Howie, and Brian to
see him break down.

"Kev... come on man talk to us." Brian said softly.

"What about? You probably heard all of it." Kevin said, pausing in his
motions.

"Yes, but that was fighting, we want to know what's really going on, how
you are feeling." AJ said.

"Come on Kev, you couldn't have meant those things you were saying to
Aidan." Howie said.

"It's us Kevin, your brothers, we know how you really feel for him." Nick
added.

Kevin sat down on the bed. "I don't feel anything for him."

"Bullshit." AJ stated simply.

Kevin collapsed on to the bed and began to sob into the comforter.

Immediately the other four rushed over to him. Nick scooped Kevin up in his
arms and held him close. Brian went to Kevin's other side and wrapped his
arms around both of them. AJ kneeled in front of Kevin with a box of
tissues and placed his hand softly on Kev's knee. Howie sat behind all of
them and lightly rubbed Kevin's back. It was a natural reaction, they'd
been through this all before, just never with Kevin as the center of
attention.

They stayed like that for awhile, until Kevin's sobs had calmed down a
little.

"I've never seen you like this Kev." Howie said softly.

"Yeah, can you really say Aidan means nothing to you when he causes such a
reaction from you?" AJ asked carefully.

"He means so much to me, but the situation is so messed up." Kevin
whimpered.

"You have to fix it then, look at this Kevin, we are all here for you,
we're back to ourselves, friends, brothers, a group. Nothing stops us when
we are like this, so something has to be done." Brian said, keeping his
hold on his cousin close.

"I know, but what can I do? You heard us, it won't work." Kevin barely had
the strength to say the words.

"Don't come up with a plan, just let him know how you feel. Don't leave
letting him believe that you don't love him. You don't need to think it all
up yourself, all you have to do is let him know where you stand." Nick said
to the man he held in his arms like a child.

"When we talk, we fight. How am I supposed to get anything across when all
we do is argue?" Kevin lifted his head to ask the group.

"Write him a letter?" Howie suggested.

"Tell him how important it is that he listens." Nick offered.

"Sing to him." Brian said, a smile coming to his face. "I know how cheesy
that sounds, but it does work."

A smile came to AJ's face also. "Yeah Kev, it does."

"By myself?" Kevin looked a little apprehensive.

"Yes by yourself, we ain't all courting him." Howie laughed.

Kevin offered a small smile. "Okay, what song then?"

"Do we need to do everything for you?" Nick joked, running his fingers
through Kevin's dark hair.

"How about Stabbing Westward's Shame? You know, 'I stare into this mirror
so tired of this life. If only you would speak to me or care if I'm
alive. Once I swore I would die for you but I never meant like this. I
never meant like this, no I never meant like this. I don't know if I agree
without you. What is left of me without you? I don't know what's real
without you. How can I exist without you?' How does that sound?" AJ sang a
few bars of the song.

"A little dark, don't ya think angel?" Brian asked.

"I like dark." AJ laid a kiss on Brian's nose. "But I guess you are right."

"How about 'I Drive Myself Crazy'? Psychology theme and everything." Howie
offered.

He was answered by pillows hitting him everywhere.

"Okay, so *Nsync is out." Howie said, recovering from the blows.

"Seriously now guys, what would work?" Brian asked.

"Hold Me?" Nick suggested.

"What?" Brian said, surprised. "Why?"

"No!, not hold me, Hold Me. The Savage Garden song." Nick explained. "Don't
you guys know it?"

"Refresh our memories Nicky." AJ said.

"Okay, I might need you to hold me tonight, I might need you to say it's
alright, I might need you to make the first stand. Because tonight I'm
finding it hard to be your man." Nick sang the chorus quickly.

"Oh! That would be perfect!" Brian exclaimed.

"What do ya think Kevy?" Nick asked him. "Can you sing that?"

"Yeah, I know that song, I could pull it off. Do you think it would work?"
Kevin asked them.

"Well, it definitely fits the situation." AJ answered.

"When should I do it?" Kevin asked again.

"Do it right before we all go to bed, that way you can talk to him
afterward." Nick instructed.

"You guys really think it will work?" Kevin pleaded.

"YES!" Was the unanimous answer.

The house sat through the most silent dinner it had experienced since the
boys had arrived.

Packing and such still needed to be done, so there were no walks or movies
after dinner. Everyone retired to their rooms until every thing was set for
the boys to leave in the morning.

Kevin heard Aidan turn off the TV that was in Becca's room and then get
into bed. As nervous as Kevin was, it was now or never.

Kevin walked slowly out of his room. He sat down at the door of the room
Aidan was in. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the
door. Kevin took a deep breath and allowed his deep voice to take the song
in a new direction.

"Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places

I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man

Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence
It's getting so loud
Well I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
It's getting hard to breathe
So tell me isn't happiness
Worth more than a gold diamond ring?
I'm willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart
I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe

I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man

Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the nighttime
Cherish each moment
Now we don't live we exist
We just run through our lives
So alone
That's why you've got to hold me

Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places

I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man"

Kevin finished and expected to hear Aidan say something.

There was no sound.

Kevin sat there for at least 10 minutes, hoping that Aidan would say
anything at all.

Not a sound came from the room.

Kevin felt the tears rise to his eyes once again. He stood up quickly and
ran for his room. He threw himself on the bed and let loose once again.

In the room next door, Aidan had just turned off his headphones, he had
been listening to Meatloaf, trying to figure out a way to approach Kevin
before he left. Aidan could have sworn he just heard something at his
door. He opened it, but no one was there. He chalked it up to hearing
things and got back into bed. He put the headphones back on and drifted off
to sleep.

The rest of the house had been listening to see what would happen. The
minute they heard Kevin run back to his room and throw himself on the bed,
they knew it hadn't gone well.

Nick and Howie sneaked out of their room and entered Kevin's.

"I'm so sorry Kev." Was all Nick whispered.

Kevin turned to them, with the tears flowing freely.

Nick climbed into bed with Kevin and grabbed onto him tightly. Howie got on
the other side of Kevin and the two younger men held Kevin as he cried
himself to sleep.

Morning came quickly.

Kevin woke up before the whole house and went down stairs to prepare a pot
of coffee. He knew the van from the airport would be very early. He went
upstairs after the coffee had begun and started to wake the guys up.

Kevin went to AJ and Brian's room first. He found the two of them wrapped
around each other. They looked so sweet, so cute, but Kevin felt a small
pang of jealousy.

"Wake up guys, we need to get everything out." Kevin said, and then seeing
them stir, shut the door and went to the next room.

Kevin heard Becca and Ashley moving around in their room so he didn't
bother to knock on their door.

He went back into the room he had been sleeping in the whole time and woke
up Howie and Nick. He got them moving and told them to go back to their
room.

"Thanks guys." Kevin said as they were walking out.

"Anytime, you know that." The two answered as they went to gather their
bags.

Kevin went to Aidan's door. He could hear him snoring lightly inside.

Kevin decided to just open the door and get a look at Aidan. When he opened
the door, he saw the young man asleep.

Asleep, with large headphones still on his ears.

Kevin tiptoed over to the CD player. Aidan had the thing on repeat and it
still was playing.

Kevin quickly left the room. 'That's why he didn't answer me! He didn't
hear me!' Kevin thought to himself quite excitedly.

That mood dropped quickly though. There was no time now. Kevin decided that
all he could do now was go home to Kristin and try to forget he ever met
Aidan Connor.

An hour later the van from the Airport was at the house. Everyone had
eaten, showered, and moved all their bags into the van. It was only a
matter of minutes before the Backstreet Boys left the Connor residence.

For a few seconds all they did was stand there and look at each other. The
Brian stepped forward.

"What can we say? You saved us. The band, our friendship, everything. AJ
and I wouldn't even be together without you." Brian said as he walked over
to Aidan to give him a hug.

Aidan returned the hug. "It's been my pleasure guys. I don't think I have
ever met a nicer bunch of guys. I wish you all the luck in everything in
life. That includes being in the band, and your relationships."

"Thanks Aidan." AJ was the next in line for a hug.

"Bye Aidan, thanks for everything." Howie gave Aidan a tight hug and held
on for a second. "Don't know what I woulda done without you."

"Yeah man, you have been a life savor, cherry!" Nick joked, as he gave
Aidan his own hug.

Aidan ruffled Nick's hair and then gave him a light push, jokingly.

All five of the guys took turns giving Becca and Ashley hugs and
kisses. Becca pretended to swoon, and Ashley pretended to gag. Nick hung
back for a second, getting a little misty eyed, not wanting to leave his
new friends. Becca gave him another big hug and then whispered something in
his ear. Whatever it was caused a huge smile and Nick happily skipped over
to the van.

The boys began to file into the van. Ashley and Becca stood on the porch
holding hands.

Aidan was standing a few feet from the van, watching the guys get in. The
door was in the middle of closing, when Kevin jumped out and ran over to
him.

Kevin grabbed the surprised Aidan in his arms and hugged him tightly. They
stayed there for a long time, not saying anything, not even crying, just
holding onto each other.

Finally the van driver honked the horn. The boys really had to get going or
they would miss the plane.

Kevin and Aidan let go of each other, stared in each other's eyes for a
moment, and then Kevin ran to get in the van.

Aidan went to go stand on the porch with the girls. They watched the van
drive down the path, they waved to the boys until they couldn't even see
the van anymore. As it faded into nothing, they stood on the porch for a
little while longer.

Aidan threw an arm over each of the girls and led them inside the house.

It was finally over.

The End.........


*I can't believe it is over. Six months of my life, this is what it looks
like, to me it's beautiful. I have never enjoyed doing something so much in
my life. This is my baby, no matter how many others I write, here is my
roots. I know some of you may not like the ending, but I had to be a little
realistic right? Plus this way Aidan can go work for the *Nsync boys. HaHa,
just kidding, trust me!

I have a long line of thank you's
	To everyone who reads, you didn't have to, but you did!
	To everyone who sends emails, you were my constant encouragement!
	To everyone in the chatroom, you all were a blast to talk to, either
	bumping up my ego or shooting it down!
	To all my fellow writers, all of you do an amazing job and I enjoy reading
	your stories as much as I enjoy writing mine!
	Fred, for being a great brother and even a better friend!
	Scott, for never failing to make me smile at 3:00 in the morning!
	Lucas, for talking writing and other things!
	TheLadyNsp, for an amazing picture design!
	Lisa, for getting me even more involved in the Nick/Kev fantasy.
	Irda69, for being my favorite person out of the US!
	Edna-Mae, for never failing to send a great email!
	Samantha, for always wanting to know when the hell the next chapter would
	be out!
	Becca, for being a new friend, and for having a great name!
	And everyone else I have ever talked too, I've never regretted one early
	morning if it meant I was talking to one of you!
THANK YOU ALL!!!

From June 27th until August 23rd I will be at summer camp being a
counselor. Which means for 8 weeks no Internet, except for rare
occasions. I am going to miss getting to talk to all of you a lot, so
please, send me email! I can check it every few days, I will write to all
of you also! Just give a quick hi, or an update on what's going on in our
little community. Thanks guys! You are all awesome! And I love ya all!

Hasta la ByeByeBye, KB!*