Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 14:27:36 EST
From: Faradhi269@aol.com
Subject: for-justin's-love-6

*This story is a work of fiction, blah, blah, blah.  I mainly want to offer
thanks to Matt, Allen and the others who've read all of my work and
continue to offer me love and support.  I also want to thank Zeo, Mike, and
JM who really inspired me to write, whether they knew it or not.*

	I shook my head.  It must have been my imagination.  The CD played
normally and the sun was streaming through the windows.  I glanced at the
clock: 8:07.  I got up and started rummaging through my things to find what
to wear after I showered.  At 8:10, there was a knock on my door and Aaron
walked in, wearing tight, white briefs that definitely showed his package
to all.
	"Morning, Aaron," I said, trying very hard to keep the memory of
his naked body from my voice.
	"Hey, Ryan," he replied cheerfully. " Nick and I thought about it
last night-what do you want to do today?"
	I shrugged.  "I dunno," I replied ruefully.  "Hopefully relax for a
day at least before it all gets crazy again," I added.
	"That's great!" he exclaimed.  "We can just bum around and watch
movies and video games and stuff."
	I smiled.  "Sure.  Sounds like a plan."
	"Cool!"
	I slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top.  "I'm going down to
make some breakfast.  You want to come?"
	"Sure!" he just walked out the door, waiting for me to go.  I
shrugged again.  I sure didn't mind his almost-nude body.  We went
downstairs towards the kitchen and I realized that everyone else was
asleep.  "I'm always the first one up," he told me, when I looked around in
surprise.
	"Great, then you can help me," I replied.
	"What do you need?"
	"Well, that depends.  What do you want to eat?"
	"Lots of food!"
	"What kind?" I asked, laughing at his enthusiasm.
	"All different stuff!"
	"All right," I answered him.  We got out all the plates and cooking
utensils and ingredients and got down to business.  They had some bacon, so
I began with that, as that took the longest to make.  I pulled out lots of
pans and made scrambled eggs, French toast, pancakes, fried eggs, toast,
and hashbrowns.  He looked around, surprised at how much food there was.
	"No grits," I mentioned, jokingly, indicating the table.
	"You think we'll EAT it all?"
	"I dunno.  If not, we can save it for lunch, I guess."
	He made a disgusted face and I laughed.  "Hey," I protested,
"learning to save food for multiple meals is an important skill in
college!"  "Besides," I added, "I know how much little boys can eat, I've
got lots of younger cousins."
	He winked at me impishly and went upstairs to get dressed for
breakfast.  I cleaned the dirty dishes and placed them neatly in the
dishwasher.  I had the table set and all of the mess from the cooking
cleaned up by the time Mrs.  Carter came downstairs.  She stared in
surprise at the table and at how clean the kitchen was.
	"Hope you don't mind I made breakfast," I mentioned, pouring her a
cup of coffee.
	She shook her head and took the cup gratefully.  I poured one for
myself, added some sugar and took a seat at the table.  "Aaron went back
upstairs, so I figure he'll probably be waking people up pretty soon."
	"Uh huh," she said.  "Ryan, why'd you do all this?"
	I hesitated.  "Well, a couple of reasons, I guess."
	"Like what?" she persisted.
	I blushed a little bit.  "I, uh, kind of sensed that you weren't
too thrilled to have me here," I told her, embarrassed.
	"Really?"  she seemed only partially surprised, confirming my
suspicions.
	"Yeah, I'm a little empathic and I felt a little bit of hostility
for some reason.  So I thought I'd try to get on everyone's good side and
if that just wouldn't work, I could say I tried when I went to the hotel."
	She smiled.  "That won't be necessary, Ryan."
	"What do you mean?"
	"Well, I checked your room around midnight or so, and you were fast
asleep.  You looked like my little boy."  She smiled.
	"Which one?" I asked impishly.
	"You know what I mean," she replied, laughing.  "So you feel free
to stay as long as you need."
	"Thanks a lot, Mrs. Carter."
	"My pleasure, Ryan."  Then she looked at the table again.  "I can't
believe you made all this!"
	I shrugged.  "It's a rather large family," I added, embarrassed.
It felt kind of strange.  "Please, help yourself before it starts to get
cold."
	She grabbed some food and I did the same.  I poured a glass of
orange juice and looked outside at how beautiful my surroundings were.  We
began eating, and soon, Aaron came down, followed by Angel, BJ, Ginger and
Leslie.  They all chatted in piping voices as they grabbed food and milk
and orange juice and sat down to breakfast.  Mr. Carter was apparently out
of town, but it didn't seem entirely unusual, so I didn't really think to
mention it.  Finally, Nick stumped down the stairs, wearing a pair of green
boxers with pool balls all over them.  I smiled and looked at him
admiringly.  He sure had a nice body.  Mrs.  Carter saw me and gave me a
quick glance.  "I love the boxers, Nick," I said, to save myself.  He
looked down and blushed all over.  It was so cute!  "I'll be right back,"
he said, running up the stairs.
	"Hurry, up, Carter, or your breakfast'll be cold!" I called after
him.
	The others giggled and began stuffing their faces.  The food
disappeared amazingly fast and we talked a little bit. Nick came running
downstairs and almost immediately dove into a heaping pile of pancakes.  I
laughed.  I just couldn't help myself.
	"So, what are your plans for the day," Mrs. Carter asked us.
	"Ryan and I are gonna play some video games today," Aaron
volunteered.
	"Aaron, don't waste such a beautiful day playing video games,"
Mrs. Carter objected.
	"We could go swimming for a while," Nick mentioned hesitantly.  I
shrugged.
	"Fine with me," I said.  But out of the corner of my eye, I noticed
Aaron give Nick a wink.  -What's that all about?-I wondered.

	After breakfast, I offered to help clean up, but Mrs. Carter just
said, "Ryan, you've already done enough for the day, thank you.  Go enjoy
yourself."  I smiled like a little boy and ran upstairs to go change into a
swimming suit.  As I was changing, I realized that I still hadn't seen my
old friends from home.  I really, truly missed them.  They were the
greatest, and the only three people I had come out to.  My exuberance died
when I realized that I might not see them for the entire summer.  -But this
is your chance, dummy-I told myself.  -Take it!- I moved slowly, now,
thinking of my options.  The Carters were being very nice, but...where was
I going?  What was I doing?
	I softly sang as I moved around the room, looking for my suit and
changing clothes very slowly.  "A new life...what I wouldn't give to have a
new life.  One thing I have learned as I go through life... nothing is for
free along the way.  A new start... that's the thing I need to give me new
heart.  Half a chance in life to find a new part...just a simple role that
I can play.  A new hope...something to convince me to renew hope!  A new
day... bright enough to help me find my way...a new chance... one that
maybe has a touch of romance.  Where can it be?  A chance for me?  A new
dream...I have one I know that very few dream...I would like to see that
overdue dream... even though it never may come true.  A new love... though
I know there's no such thing as true love...even so... although I never
knew love... still I feel that one dream is my due!  A new world...this one
thing I want to ask of you world.  Once, before it's time to say adieu
world...one sweet chance to prove the cynics wrong!  A new life!  More and
more I'm sure as I go through life...just to play the game and to pursue
life...just to share its treasures and belong... that's what I've been here
for all along!  Each day's a brand...new...life!"
	I took a deep breath.  "So be it.  I'll miss you guys..."

	There was a knock on my door, and Nick stepped in, wearing a red
and blue swimsuit.  "Ryan?  Was that you?"
	I blushed.  "Uh, yeah.  Sorry."
	"Don't be sorry, that was really good.  What was it from?"
	"Uh, a play called 'Jekyll and Hyde.'  It's one of my favorites."
	"Oh.  You sounded so sad."
	"I'm not," I protested.  "It's just...been a while since I saw my
friends last, and I don't know when I'll see them again, that's all."
	"Oh," Nick said, looking slightly dejected.  "OK."
	"Seriously, Nick, I'm fine.  Let's go swimming."
	He smiled.  "Great!  Let's go!"
	We went outside and Nick took a huge running jump into the pool.
His splash was huge and he drenched his siblings sitting on the side of the
pool.  They started screaming and yelling at him, but he just laughed.  I
walked up to the diving board and took a deep breath.  I sure as hell
didn't want to make a fool of myself.  I took one more calming breath and
stepped four times to the edge of the board.  I swung my arms upwards to
get height and once my feet were off the board, I tucked into a ball and
began to spin.  Once, twice and then I saw the water rushing up to me, so I
pulled out of the ball and put my hands straight out in front of me.  I cut
through the water like a knife, and Nick was still staring at the board
when I came up from behind him and quickly dunked him, spluttering,
underwater.  The younger Carters all cheered as Nick came up, looking
outraged.
	"Sorry, pal, had to do it."
	"Uh huh," he replied, not believing it.
	He looked to his siblings and put his hand up to his mouth as
though it were a microphone.  "Ladies and gentlemen, what we have here is
the worst doublecross in the history of mankind.  What should we do about
this scenario?"
	"Uh, Nick, what are you doing?"
	"Shut up, I'm talking," he replied and continued to act like a
sports announcer.
	"Uh, Nick, what're you holding?"
	"It's a hand, dumbass.  Shut up!"
	I laughed and went underwater again.  I put my right arm behind his
knees and lifted upwards, catching him as though I were cradling him.
	"Put me down," he shouted.
	"I can't hear you, Nick," I replied.  I held his legs with my right
hand and with my left hand, pushed his head underwater again.  I lifted him
back up, smiled at him, and pushed him under again.  This went on for a few
minutes before I finally dropped him.  He came up panting, and I smiled at
him impishly.
	"You...you..." he began.
	I splashed him in the face and then bolted.  He swam after me, and
he reached the edge of the pool just as I had finished getting out.  He
tried to grab at my heel, but I did a back flip over him and into the
water, where I landed right behind him and pulled down his swim trunks.
Then I put my feet against the pool wall and pushed off.  Nick quickly
pulled them up and the chase began in earnest.
	I quickly began to pant and lose my breath, and due to my lack of
stamina, he was able to catch up to me.  But try as he might, even though
he was stronger than I, he couldn't force me underwater.  About that time,
Aaron, wearing a pair of swim trunks identical to Nick's dove into the
water and tied up Nick's legs.  I pushed backwards with all my weight and
drove him under, when he let me go.  Aaron and I laughed, gave each other a
high five and then split up so Nick couldn't try to grab us both.
	We played for a couple of hours, and then got out to bask in the
warm sun for a while.  I was inexorably drawn out of my own shell of
shyness and we all began to talk in earnest.  I was really surprised at the
intelligence of both of them and I enjoyed the talk immensely.  We talked
about fame, school, having siblings, and just about life's ups and downs.
Before I realized it, I had a beautiful golden bronze tan and my hair had
turned platinum once again.  Good ole Florida sun does it every time.
	"So, what's next," I asked after stretching and taking a quick dive
into the pool to cool off.
	"You wanna go clubbing with me and the guys," Nick asked.
	I hesitated.  "I dunno, Nick. Club scenes aren't really me.
Besides, I'm only 19; I'm illegal."
	He smiled, "I'm illegal too, you know.  We can get you in."
	I thought about it.  I was getting along great with Nick, but what
would the others think?  "Uh, I'd better not, Nick.  I think I need to go
back to the studio tomorrow, so I'm going to make sure I get a good night's
sleep."
	"Oh," Nick said, looking a little miffed.
	"But you go ahead," I prompted.  "You're on a well-deserved
vacation.  Enjoy yourself!"
	"But," he protested.
	"No buts, pal," I interrupted.  "Aaron can keep me company.  We'll
play some video games.  Or maybe watch a movie."
	He still seemed a little uncertain.  "Look, Carter," I began to act
angry, "you WILL go and enjoy yourself tonight or you're gonna get drowned
again!"
	He smiled, a huge, bright smile.  "All right, but you gotta come
tomorrow."
	"No promises, but OK."
	"Cool.  I need to go shower and change.  Later!"  He ran inside to
start getting ready.  Aaron and I just walked up to his room, chatting.  We
stayed in out swimming suits, and I kept sneaking peeks at his hairless
young body.  We goofed around and made jokes while we went upstairs, and
then things got serious.  The little punk whipped my ass in Mariokart, and
I HAD to retaliate by annihilating him in Street Fighter, and Bond, and NHL
Hockey.  I was making faces at him, irritating him even more than losing
was when Nick walked into the room.  "So, what'dya think?"  He held up his
hands and turned around.
	My eyes widened.  Damn!  He had on a black pair of slacks and a
white polo shirt.  Over it, he had a black sport coat that he kept open.
He had no undershirt on and his chest was vaguely visible through the thin
white cotton.
	"Pimpin'" I told him.  "You gonna try to put the move on someone
tonight?"  I asked impishly.
	"Uh," he blushed.  "Nah, I'm just going to have fun tonight.  You
haven't even seen what my moves are!"
	I laughed and wished him luck.  He smiled and left.  Aaron was
looking at me strangely.  "Ok, what is it now?  I'm not going to go easy on
you, you know!"
	"Nothing," he replied.  I could tell he was hiding something.  His
face was too open, too sweet to hide anything.  I, somewhat foolishly,
leaned in to look him in the eyes.
	"Something's bothering you, Aaron.  I can feel it.  Can't you tell
me what it is?"
	"How do you know something's bothering me," he asked defensively.
	"I'm an empath," I answered simply.
	"What?"
	I sighed.  "Sometimes, when I'm really close to someone, I can tell
their emotions."
	"Really?" His eyes lit up.
	"Yep."
	"I don't believe you," he said, challengingly.
	"Ok, you don't have to, but it's true," I replied, not wanting to
get into an argument on my first day.
	"Can you show me," he asked.  He was sitting cross-legged on the
floor and leaning forward.  His eyes shone.  "Please?"
	I shrugged.  "What the hell?  OK.  Give me your hand and
concentrate."
	He did, and so did I.  From him, I got a quick welter of emotions,
but then they focused down.  "You're uncertain: about yourself, Nick, your
family, friends.  Life."  I opened my eyes, surprised for a second.  "Me."
He kept his eyes closed and nodded once, shortly.
	I concentrated again.  "There's something you want.  You desire it
very strongly, but...you just don't know if you can get it, and you're
bracing yourself for a big letdown."
	Tears came into his eyes briefly, and he nodded again.
	Then, I saw something.  This didn't happen often, but I saw a face.
It had blond hair and green eyes and looked familiar.  My face.
	"Aaron," I asked in surprise and arousal.
	He replied by leaning in and kissing me.  His lips were so soft, so
inviting, that I just let myself fall into them.  He put his hand on my
chest and began to rub it.  The sensory overload forced my brain to wake up
again.  "No, Aaron.  I can't.  I'm...so sorry.  It's just not right.
I'm...I just don't..." he nodded, tears filling his eyes and ran
downstairs.
	I could clearly feel his pain from downstairs and it hurt me more
than I ever thought that it would.  Then, suddenly, I couldn't feel it any
more.  My head hurt and I was filled with anguish: both mine and his.  I'd
forgotten I can't link up over long distances.  I ran to my room, sobbing
uncontrollably and soon fell asleep.