Orlando, FL -- The Fatone House -- Out on the Front Stoop
We sat there outside on the stoop just kissing until
Phyllis came outside to get us for dinner. To say the least, I don't believe
she was very happy with finding out the two of us were gay. If you could have
seen the look on her face when she caught us tongue-tied the way we were, I
thought she was going to have a heart attack or something. We got up and went
into the house, but the way she stared at us, you could have sworn she was
trying to telepathically kill me if she could.
"Ma, would you let me explain...," Joey says as he sat down
next to Phyllis as she kept quiet while passing food items around the table as
my mother and father caught what was going on down on the other end of the
table. "Ma, could you please?"
"Joseph I don't want to talk about it. Just let it go. We
have guest right now and I don't think we need to talk about that right now."
Phyllis tells him as he shook his head.
"Why not talk about it right now. It concerns someone I'm
going to be with," he says, looking straight at her.
"Do you want me to get into that right here around
everyone? Around your friends and their families?" She asks him, gesturing at
the rest of us in the room.
"I don't see why not. It's not like we can hide it now
that you saw us already," he says, getting up from his chair, walking around the
table and standing behind me. "I love Josh and I've always been in love with
him. I've got him and I'm not planning on letting him go."
"What!?!" Dad screams as he stands up. "You're gay and
involved with my son?"
"Yes I am," Joey says as dad gets up and walks over to
"I never expected you to be gay," dad says as he walks past
Joey out of the kitchen.
"See what you have done? You've upset our guest Joseph,"
Phyllis says as she gets up to leave the table too.
"Come on everyone, please calm down." Lance tries telling
everyone in the dining room as his dad and mom got upset a little bit too as
Chris' mom walks out too.
Like clockwork, all the parents got up from the table to
walk out of the dining room. Leaving only me, Lance, Joey and Chris in the
room, we all look at each other and shrug. I don't know what the big fuss was
about, but the way they were acting was royally pissing me off. Getting up from
my seat, I turn to Joey, kiss him and walk in the direction that dad and mom
Across Town at the Sheraton Hotel -- Justin's Room
Why the hell did I do that to him? Why did I have to be
such a jerk to him? He was only telling me how he felt about me. At one point
in time, I had feelings for him, but now my heart only yearns for one, but that
one doesn't love me anymore like he use to. I just wish I could go back in time
and change the way I treated him on my birthday. I don't know why I was so
fucking rude to him, but I was and now he's left me. Maybe one day, he'll
forgive me and come back.
"Babe calm down. I know you miss him, but you have to look
on the bright side of things. There's a chance that you two can work things
out." Julie, my closest friend and one of the dancers from the tour says.
"How do you expect me to calm down Jules? No one likes me
anymore. As soon as I got to Phyllis' house, everyone like jumped down my
throat and shit." I tell her as she hugs me.
"Well they wouldn't have jumped on your azz if you hadn't
been talking that shit in the media," she says as I look at her funny. "Well
you know it's the truth Justin. For the last year, you've been blasting all of
them. If I was one of them, I would've jumped down your throat and kicked your ass
too because you know you couldn't have made it if it wasn't for them."
"Now you're on their side too Jules? I don't believe
this. My best friend has switched sides on me." I tell her as she hopped up off
"Justin Randall Timberlake, how dare you!" She screams as
I flinch and turn back around. "I'm only telling you what I've seen and
observed. I can't help it if you've been more of a diva than friend as of
"Jules I'm not a fucking diva!" I shout back at her as she
turns red in the face and walks towards the door. "Jules wait!"
"No Justin, I'm going back to my room. I think I've over
extended my time talking to you. All I have to say before I go is that you
better stop acting like a damn diva bitch and get over yourself. You've already
lost your husband and your friends. How many more people do you want to lose?"
She asks me as she turns the doorknob. "Through everything you've been through,
Nick Carter stuck by your side for so long and all you did was dump on him.
That man loves you, but you took him for fucking granted. You put your career
and reputation before the ones you loved and that loved you."
"Jules wait," I say, running over to her and grabbing her
hand. "That's not how it..."
"No Justin, I've said all I'm going to say to you. If you
need me, really need me like the friend I thought I was to you, then I'll be
down with Rachel, Danny and Lex." She tells me as she kisses me on the cheek
and walks out of the room.
Maybe she's right about how I was acting. I know I royally
fucked things up between Nick and I and I don't know how I will ever fix
that. I threw away a good seven year relationship for what I have now. This
doesn't mean much to me now that he's not with me. If I wasn't such a fucking
diva and so wrapped up in my career, Nick would still be here with me and I
would still have love in my life.
Back at the Fatone House -- Joey's Bedroom
"What's so wrong with me and Josh being together ma?" Joey
asks, as Phyllis walks into the room and sits down on the bed. "I know you
might have wanted me to be straight, but women just don't do it for me."
"What about Kelly? What about your daughter?" Phyllis
"What about them? I will always love my daughter, but
Kelly was just a short phase I quickly got over ma." Joey tells her as he
starts to pace around in the room.
"You don't need him in your life son, you need...you need
someone nice and simple like Lance." Phyllis says as Joey looks at her strange.
"What? I thought you were upset that I was gay ma?" Joey
asks her as she shakes her head.
"I don't care about you being gay son. I care about you
being with Josh. He's not the one for you. He sleeps around; he wouldn't love
you like someone else would." Phyllis tells him as she caresses Joey's cheek.
"What? Josh doesn't sleep around. Josh doesn't do things
like that." Joey tells her as she shakes her head.
"Son you can't trust a man like him. He's been with too
many women." Phyllis tells him as she frowns.
"I don't think that's true ma. I bet that's only rumors
that are floating around in the industry." Joey tells her as he walks over to
the door. "I think you need some time alone to think about this. I'm going for
"Son please...be careful. Always remember that I love you
and I'm here for you. I would never tell you something I didn't believe wasn't
true." Phyllis tells him as he walks out of the room and down the stairs.
Out in the backyard
This night is really turning out bad. I didn't expect
everyone to flip out like they did. This was all just a big shock to me. I `m
just glad I didn't tell mom and dad about the guy I met a few weeks ago. I'm
sure they would have gone through the roof too instead of just being ashamed of
Joey and Josh. I sometimes wonder why my parents can be so...so damn prude.
** Flashback **
I pulled the car into his driveway
and hopped out. I walked around to the other side of the car to help him out.
Taking the tall man into my arms, I asked him did he still want me to go in with
"Yes I want you to. Do you still
want to come in?"
I smiled and pulled him towards
his house. I held my hand out for the key to unlock the door and he smiled and
shook his head.
"Not that I don't appreciate the
gesture, but my little baby would attack you. She isn't the nicest kitty in the
I smiled at him. "I don't believe
He shrugged his shoulders and let
me open the door first.
"Go ahead, go in, but don't blame
me when your ankles are all scratched to hell like an old 45."
I stepped into the house and
instantly a ball of fur attacked my legs. There weren't any scratches yet, but
there was a lot of hissing.
"Okay I get it, I get it. You
don't want me in here. Would it be okay if your daddy invited me in huh?"
He stepped around me and picked up
"Miss Kitty are you attacking my
Miss Kitty just looked up at him,
jumped down from his arms to the sofa and sat down. She looked at him like `who
me?' and started purring. He smiled at the cat and looked up to me.
"Don't play innocent with me Miss
I watched the conversation between
him and the small tabby. `I think I love him. I've only known him for a few
hours. Can I possibly love him in so short of a time?' I walked up behind
him and wrapped my arms around him.
"You know what; I think that is
the most precious things I've seen in a long time."
He laughed at me and turned around
in my arms.
"What's precious? Me losing my
mind slowly and showing it by talking to a cat?"
I shook my head at him, wanting to
just kiss him and hold him forever.
"No babe, I think it's cute that
you talk to your little kitty like that. I talk to animals too. My baby puppy
Martin gets his own plates at dinner time."
From that point, he smiled at me
and pulled me towards the stairs.
"Come on handsome, let's go
I didn't complain, I followed him
willingly up the stairs.
** End Flashback **
The hell with all of this fucking madness. This is my
fucking life and I'm going to live it the way I want to. I don't have to answer
to anyone but myself and my maker when that time comes. If what I enjoy isn't
right with the Lord, then he'll just have to come down here and stop me and show
me the error of my ways, but until then, I'm going to live my life the way I
think it should be lived and I'm going to have a nice damn time doing it. I
think I'll give JT a call and see if he's available. I know he's probably mad
with me because I haven't talked to him since that night, but I do have feelings
for him and I'm sure he has feelings for me.
A Flight From Tokyo, Japan
The Backstreet Boys are back and all of this is so
exhilarating. When we started working on the new album last year, I was a
little bit upset about all of us getting back together. It's not that I don't
like the guys, singing and performing, it's just that I like one of them too
much. Since he joined the group, I've always had a thing for Nick. I never
acted on my feelings for him because I valued our friendship more than I put
emphasis on a possible sexual relationship I could've had with him. Before I
married Leighanne, the two of us use to hang out so much, you couldn't separate
us at times. When we first came out, people thought that Nick was my cousin
instead of Kevin. Those were the good ole days back then. We hung out all the
time and had loads of fun until the guys of
«N Sync showed up in the world.
At the time, the world believed that
«N Sync was our rivals, but it was
nothing like that. We had nothing against them, the only rivals in that group
was Justin Timberlake. When Nick met Justin, things between the two of us
changed. When those guys joined us for a joint tour a while back, it was like
Justin took my place in Nick's eyes and he later revealed that he was gay.
Finding that out at the time hurt me. I always thought I would have been able
to get with him, but after I married Leighanne, all that changed for the worse.
The years went by and I was still pining after him. I
watched how he and Justin would have so much fun and that pissed me off
royally. I was supposed to be the one that had that fun with him, not Justin.
Justin took him away from me and regardless of what I had to do; Justin was
going to pay for that.
After the guys of «N
Sync separated for a bit to take a break, Justin went on his way to start his
solo project. Spending more time with Nick, Justin was getting sloppy with
covering his tracks when he visited Nick wherever he was in the world. Justin
was making things so easy for me. All it took was for me to leak to the press
where he was and for them to know what he was doing that helped me out with
ruining things for him and Nick.
Justin didn't know what was going on with his reputation.
He and Nick were basically living their lives out in the open for everyone to
see and the fans kinda suspected something was going on between the two of
them. I wanted Nick so bad, I was willing to do anything to get him away from
Justin. It seems that none of my ideas didn't work, because a few weeks later
he and Justin got married. That shattered a few of my dreams that I had for me
and Nick and that almost broke my heart. The next thing I did wasn't nice, but
I was so hurt from it all that I leaked information to the press about their
marriage and I was the one that told MTV where to find them on their honeymoon.
With all the crap they went through, Nick never left
Justin's side once. With the media, the fans, his family and friend, he was
right there for everything that went down. Nick truly loves him, but in the
end, it came out that Justin didn't love him at all. Now that we're on tour
again, I know Nick is thinking about all that stuff because we went to some
places that he and Justin had been to already and I'm sure the memories he had
of those places hit him like a ton of bricks. I don't even know why Nick put up
with him for so long, but I guess you can't fight love.
TO BE CONTINUED...