"You were traveling through space and time...I've been trapped in this world of mine. You came down from nowhere, you're blowing my mine...Cause I've been waiting patient for a love that's mile high. Floating over galaxies, we'll fly...You got me, you got me, you got me..."
I miss him so much. I don't care what happens to my career right now. I just need to fix things between me and Nick. I know I did some really crappy things, but I can't go on living without him with me. I know he probably feels used and taken for granted like Jules said, but I'll do anything...anything to get him back with me. I should just pick up the phone and just call him up. I'm sure he won't mind talking to me. I need...need to know what it is that I can do to fix things between the two of us. Picking up the phone and dialing his number, I sit and wait for him to answer.
"Hello?" I hear his sleepy voice ask into the phone.
"Nicky," I say as the phone goes dead.
I can't believe he just hung up on me like that. Well at least I know he's in Tampa at his cabin. This is going to be harder than I thought. I guess I can take a ride tonight and go see him if he won't talk to me. I'm sure he didn't change the locks; I still have my keys to get in there. Getting up out of bed and walking into the bathroom, someone knocks at the door. Turning around and going over to the door, I ask who it was, but no one answered. Looking through the peephole, I didn't see anyone. Opening the door, a punch came right at me, knocking me down to the floor. Getting up in a hurry, I see AJ lunging at me again.
"What the hell is your problem AJ?" I ask him as he tackles me, knocking me back down to the floor again.
"How could you treat Nick the way you did?" He asks me, landing another punch to my face as I used my legs to get him off of me.
"Get the fuck off me!" I shout, screaming as AJ jumps on me again, kicking and punching at me as Jules, Danny and Lex ran into the room.
"What the hell is going on in here?" She asks as I punch AJ and he punches me back. "I asked a damn question!"
"He fucking jumped on me!" I shout as AJ hit me again. "Fucking bitch!"
"Stop this!" She screams as she punches AJ in the face, knocking him out as my security guys come running into the room. "How the hell did he get past ya'll?"
"He said he needed to talk to you about Nick," Lonnie tells me as he stood in the doorway.
"Like hell he did! He came in here wailing on me and trying to beat my ass!" I shout as Jules knelt down besides AJ trying to wake him up.
"Alex, Alex are you okay?" She kept saying over and over as he just laid on the floor.
"I think you killed him Jules," Danny tells her as she glares at him.
"I didn't kill him!" She screams as AJ takes in a breath and starts coughing. "See!"
"What happened?" AJ asks, getting up off to floor.
"You were acting stupid and big girl clocked you," Danny tells him as he smiles and walks out of the room.
"You don't need the rest of us, just keep Big Julie around to kick ass," Lex said as he left the room laughing too.
"Oh ha ha ha guys," I say as Lonnie smiles and walk out too. "What the hell did you come here for AJ?"
"I came to kick your ass for how you treated Nick! If you loved him, you wouldn't have treated him the way you did," AJ says as I look down.
"I do love him and you're right, I had no right to do to him what I did. I fucked up and I got carried away with things in my career," I say as AJ nods his head. "But that doesn't give you the right to come here and try to fight me!"
"You hurt one of my friends Justin! Nick hasn't been the same since he left you!" AJ screams as I just hold my head down as a few tears fell to the floor.
"I know I hurt him, but I want to fix things, I just..." I say as he shakes his head.
"You can't fix things Justin! It's too late now!" AJ shouts as I sit down on the bed, holding my head in my hands.
"Why can't I fix things? I know I can fix all of this if he would just talk to me," I say, remembering how he hung up the phone at the sound of my voice earlier.
"Justin he doesn't need you in his life bringing him down more than what he is now!" AJ shouts at me as Julie starts tapping her foot. "Sorry."
"How are you to know what Nick needs? Nick is the only one that can say that, not you," Julie tells him as he moves slowly away from her.
"You have a point miss, but Nick isn't in his right..." AJ says as I stop him.
"Don't go there AJ! Don't even bring that up because you know that ain't right," I tell him as he shakes his head.
"You know it's the truth Justin. He's not in his right mind right now. Since you two split, he let everything go and I mean everything. Aaron has to fight with him on a daily basis just to get him to take his meds," AJ explains as I look up at him, a pang of guilty hitting me in the gut.
"He's not taking his meds right?" I ask him and he shakes his head no.
"That's all your fucking fault Justin. He hasn't had the will to go on because of you!" AJ shouts at me as Jules got up and walked over to me.
"Both of you calm down," she states, rubbing my back as I continued to cry. "Right now arguing and knocking the hell out of each other isn't going to solve the issue at hand."
"You're right. I'm going to see him," I tell her as I get up.
"You can't do that, we're leaving in the morning," she tells me as I look at her and then grab what I needed.
"I'm going to Tampa to check on Nick," I tell her.
"How do you know he's in Tampa?" AJ asks me.
"I called him earlier before you came in here trying to beat on me," I tell him as he shakes his head.
"You can't go there. He's not strong enough to deal with you right now!" AJ shouts.
"Fuck you AJ, I'm going to see my husband! If you haven't forgotten, he's still my husband. Because he walked out the door and left me, doesn't mean we're not married anymore," I tell him as Jules got up and hugged me.
"You're not going without me," she tells me as I look at her.
"You're not going with me," I tell her.
"Oh yes I am," she tells me. "I'm going to make sure you stay out of trouble."
"I'm not going to get into trouble, I'm going to be with my husband," I tell her as AJ shakes his head.
"I'm going too damnit," AJ says as I finished gathering up what I was taking with me.
"Fine! I don't care what you to do, just stay out of my way," I tell the two of them as Julie walks out of the room to go get some things too.
I just pulled down his street and I'm wondering what it is he's doing. Pulling into his driveway, I notice that there is a light on upstairs, but completely dark on the first floor. I'm standing here at the car wondering should I go to the door and cross that line again. I know I have some deep feelings for him, but what if he's forgotten about me?
"Why are you here Lance?" I hear someone asks as I turn around to see him standing there with his cute little kitty in his arms.
"Ah JT? What are you doing out here?" I ask him as he shakes his head and walk past me. "I thought you were inside."
"That doesn't answer the question Lance," he tells me as he sits on the steps of his porch, playing with Miss Kitty, his cute little tabby that has a thing for scratching ankles.
"I came here to see you JT," I tell him as he puts Miss Kitty down and stands back up.
"Why Lance? It was nothing more than a birthday pity date. You fulfilled your word, there's no reason for you to be here now," he tells me as he looks down at the cat, picks her up and walks to the door and opens it.
"JT! JT wait!" I call out, running up the steps and knocking on the door. "Please JT, let me in."
"Just go away Lance. There's nothing here for you. What is it that you want with a lowly writer anyway?" He asks me as I just stood at the door.
"Please JT, I know I was a jerk, but could you please give me another chance?" I ask him as a light comes on across the street.
"You there! What are you doing?" A little old lady asks me, walking out onto her porch, pointing her cane at me. "Are you giving Mr. Poole a hard time?"
"Ah no ma'am, I'm just trying...we are talking," I tell her as she hobbles across the street, walking up his driveway.
Oh great, the old lady is coming over here. She looks like she wants to kick my ass or something. All I wanted was to come here and talk to him, explain why I hadn't returned any of his calls or came by. She's getting closing and now she's waving that stick at me. I'll just leave and come back another time. I don't need this drama tonight. There has been too much drama already and I'm not about to go through any more. I'll just come back another day and try to explain things to him. I'm not going to give up on him like I see he's given up on me.
"It's you," the little old lady says, hitting me on the leg with her cane. "You're the young man that broke young Mr. Poole's heart."
"Owwww!" I scream as the porch light comes on and the door opens.
"Hi Mrs. Norris," JT says, smiling at the woman and glaring at me. "You get in there!"
"JT can you trust him?" Mrs. Norris asks him as he nods at her.
"I don't think he's going to cause any more problems tonight," he tells her as she smiles and turns to walk back down the steps. "If he does something, I'll be sure to call you up and have you come over and break your metal cane across his back."
"Son don't tempt me, I'll be glad to do it. Don't nobody go around hurting my sugarbaby," she says as she waves at him and walks down his driveway back to her own house.
"What was that all about? Why did she hit me?" I ask him.
"Probably because she knows how you hurt me," he tells me as he puts Miss Kitty down and she jumps up on the couch and starts licking her paw.
"I didn't mean to hurt you JT. I came here to explain my actions to you. Would you please let me have a chance to explain?" I ask him as he sits down next to the cat and picks up his mug of coffee.
"Explain then," he says, taking a sip of his coffee as the cat jumps into his lap.
"Where should I start?" I ask, not really asking him, just trying to get my thoughts together.
"How about from the point where you told me you were falling in love with me, but then changed your mind the next fucking day!" He shouts as the cat jumped out of his lap and ran around the corner behind the stairs. "It's really okay Lance. I understand how things are with you celebrity types. I know I was only a quick lay for you."
"JT it's not like that," I tell him, stepping closer as he puts his hand up.
"You don't have to lie to me Lance. I understand things very well. You're this popular celebrity that can't risk being seen with someone like me. It's very okay," he tells me.
"JT please, let me explain things," I tell him as he shakes his head.
"Lance that's the only reason it could be. Your friend and ex-band mate Justin Timberlake is married to Nick Carter. So the only reason left is you couldn't risk being with someone like me. Just go ahead and admit it Lance. It will save both of us a lot of trouble," he tells me, taking another sip of his coffee. "It's getting late and some of us actually have things to do in the morning."
"That's not the reason JT and I'm not going to let you turn my fears into something evil," I tell him as he turns his head, looking at me like he was ready to grab me and throw me out of the house.
"Excuse me Lance, this is my house. I can do what I damn well please in here," he tells me, standing up as Miss Kitty ran by in a hurry, attacking my legs.
"Owwww!" I shout as he turns around, puts his foot down, blocking the cat from running towards me again.
"Go to your space Miss Kitty," he tells the cat as she looks up at him and licks her paw, not moving from the spot she was sitting in.
"Don't worry about the cat JT," I say as he looks at me and shakes his head.
"The cat is the least of your worries Lance. Don't make me call Mrs. Norris over here. She'll be glad to beat you over the head with her cane. The tap she gave you on the leg earlier doesn't even compare to what she can do," he tells me as he crosses his arms over his chest.
"You don't have to involve her," I tell him. "This is between me and you and no one else. I really love you JT. You might not believe me right now, but I do. I know in the past few of weeks I acted like a jerk, but I was scared."
"Scared of what? Ruining your career Lance? What?" He asks me.
"Scared that my parents would disown me and cast me out," I tell him as he shakes his head. "JT you have to believe me. I do love you. My parents are really conservative and religious people so to speak. To put it harshly, they don't like gay people and don't believe in homosexuality as a choice."
"Really? So they really loathe you then," he says as he turns around.
"No they don't. I haven't told them about me yet," I tell him as he sits down. "I'm sure that they would have found out if I would have followed my heart the first time."
"What do you mean by that Lance?" He asks me.
"Tonight we were at Joey Fatone's mom's house. Joey and Josh had been pining after each other for a long time. During dinner, Joey came out and my parents had a fit. They actually got up in the middle of dinner and left the house," I explain to him, getting closer to the sofa. "On the way back to the hotel, all they could do was bitch and complain about Joey and Josh and the sins of being homosexual."
"So basically you didn't answer any of my calls or show your face around here because you were scared that your parents would disown you?" He asks me as I nod at him.
"Well that's a lot to deal with Lance. If I were in your shoes, I probably would feel the same way too. But on the other hand, I would have made that explanation to you a few weeks ago if the shoes were reversed," he tells me.
"I know I should have told you JT, but I didn't know how. Since I've been here in town, my parents have been basically a second skin. They've been watching everything I do and everywhere I go. I'm surprised they aren't bugging my cell phone," I tell him as he gets back up again.
"Lance if you really loved me like you say, you would have found a way to tell me this a few weeks ago before the hurt set in," he tells me as he walks to the door. "I think it's time for you to go Lance."
"JT I don't want to leave. Can you please give me another chance? I'll do anything to prove it to you," I tell him as he opens the door.
"There's nothing to prove here Lance. Your actions told me that there was no love," he tells me as I walk over to him, wrap my arms around him and kiss him at the door, not backing down a bit.
"If that doesn't show you that I love you, then this should," I tell him, grabbing both of his hands, placing one over my chest so he could feel my heart beating and the other one at my crotch so he could feel how hard I was for him. "All of that's for you JT. Please believe me."
"I'm not something you can just lust after Lance," he tells me as he pushes me off of him.
"I more than lust after you JT," I tell him as I kiss him again. "I love you man, you're the only guy that I have ever felt this way for in my life."
"Whatever Lance, I'm not in the mood for this. Could you please just leave and now!" He shouts at me as I look down at the floor, as the cat jumps on my feet and wouldn't move. "Miss Kitty move out of the way and get off of his feet."
I reached down to pick up the cat to hand to him. Before I could pass Miss Kitty over to him, the cat latched on to my shirt and wouldn't let go. Not wanting the hurt the kitty, I turned around and faced him so he could get her. With him pulling on her, trying to get her away from me, she wouldn't let go of my shirt and was trying to dig her claws into my skin.
"Owwww!" I scream as I was sure the kitty had drown blood. "Stop it, she doesn't want to let go."
"Oh she's going to let you go even if I have to go get the clippers and clip her damn claws," he says as he tries to yank her away from me as she hisses at him. "Miss Kitty have you lost your mind?"
The cat looked at him again and started purring, but she wouldn't remove her claws from my shirt. Walking away from the door, he walked over to a table and opened one of the drawers. Pulling out what looked like some very large toe nail clippers, he came back over to me and the cat and he showed them to her. In no time flat, her claws were out of my shirt and she was out of my arms and back around the corner. Smiling, he stood back at the door again, waiting for me to leave.
"You can leave now that my cat isn't trying to hold you hostage in here," he tells me as he smiles at me and points out the door. "If I ever see you again, it'll be too soon."
"I hope you see me everyday JT. I love you and to prove to you that I love you," I grabbed his hand and kiss the palm. "JT marry me. That's the only thing I can think of to get you to see that I truly love you."
"I'm not going to marry you Lance," he tells me as something moved out on the porch and he jumped backwards.
"Oh yes you will marry him," Mrs. Norris says, standing on the porch with her cane and a dog. "You were crying over here talking about the boy doesn't love you. Well here he is back again and from everything I've seen and heard tonight, the boy has the hots for you and bad. Shoot, even Miss Kitty likes him."
"Mrs. Norris how long have you been out there?" He asks her.
"Since the both of you walked inside," she tells him. "I went to get my dog and we've been out here enjoying the view. Thanks for the show sonny, in my old age, I don't get to see action like that."
"You're welcome I guess," I say as she pats me on the ass and push me towards JT.
"I'm going back home. Stop being stubborn JT and talk with him. He's poured his heart out to you, the least you can do is say yes and tie the knot with him since that's what you wanted," she says, smiling and walking out the door as JT closed his eyes and turned around. "You heard what I said boy, get on that sofa and get to it."
"Yes ma'am," he says as she closes the door behind her and he just stands there looking at me.
Like before, Miss Kitty ran over to me again and sat squarely on my feet. Not moving an inch, he looks at me and then down at the cat. Shaking his head, he walks back over to the sofa and takes up his previous spot as I stand there watching him. Bending down to pick up Miss Kitty, I hold her in my arms as she starts licking the side of my face.
"She's kissing me, why can't you?" I ask him as he looked over the top of the coffee mug and gave me a strange look.
"I'm not as crazy as the cat," he tells me, placing the cup down on the table and watching my every move.
"Well I don't care if you are JT, I'm still in love with you," I tell him as he looks down and stares at his folded hands.
"Lance are you really serious about marrying me?" He asks me, looking up at me. "I don't believe you should be doing something only to try to prove something to someone else. Marrying me isn't going to prove your love Lance."
"But I do love you JT. I'm saying that if it takes marrying you to prove that I love you, then I'll do it. I hope eventually you will fill the same way one day," I tell him. "I don't know if you really believe in love at first sight, but I do. I've thought of nothing but you JT. I need you in my life."
"Are you sure of that?" He asks me, moving a bit as I sat down next to him, still holding Miss Kitty. "I don't want you jumping into something you're not ready for."
"Are you ready for it baby?" I ask him, leaning in and kissing him on his lips. "Earlier tonight I made a decision that I was going to start living my life for me and deal with the consequences later. I'm tired of letting other people dictate how I live my life. I'm not going to let you get away from me. I don't care what you say, I'll turn into a stalker or something."
"I hope it doesn't get to something like that," he tells me, laughing. "If it does, I'll have to shoot you."
"Would you really shoot me?" I ask him, pouting.
"Man if you were stalking me, I'll lace your ass with caps," he tells me as I start laughing at him.
"I would rather you lace my ass with this," I tell him, rubbing my hand across his crotch as he moans. "I would like that more than a bullet baby."
"Well sorry Lance, you can't have it," he says, jumping up in a hurry, adjusting his crotch as he walks over towards the door leading to the kitchen.
"Why not baby?" I ask him, putting Miss Kitty down and walking over to him as I lean into him, rubbing my body against him and letting my lips graze over his.
"Because we can't be together," he tells me as I pull back from him.
"But you said...Mrs. Norris told you..." I tell him as he shakes his head.
"Mrs. Norris isn't my mother. Did you really think I was just going to give in to you that easily?" He asks me, walking back over to the sofa and picking up the cat. "When we first got together, all I could think about was being your guy and us being together. But after a few days of the things that happened...well the things that didn't happen, it became clear to me that I didn't belong in your world."
"What!?! You don't belong in my world? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask him.
"Just what it's supposed to mean Lance. I don't belong in your world. You're a popular celebrity and I'm just a writer. I have my fan base and all, but it doesn't even come close to yours. To the world, I'm just a regular guy that writes gay romance novels, but that's all it is. I wouldn't fit in the world of stardom with you," he explains, walking around the sofa to the window.
"Do you really think I care about any of that JT?" I ask him. "I'm not one of those stuck up celebrities that you see on the television. I'm a regular person that's in love with you. Marry me JT. Let me show you my love for you."
"Lance I ask you again, are you really serious about all of this? I don't believe you could just jump up and marry me. That will not prove your love to me," he tells me. "I already told you that I don't want you doing something you're not ready for. Don't be saying you want to marry me so you could prove your love to me."
"Well in my eyes and heart, that's the ultimate level of showing love," I tell him as he puts the cat down, whom walked over to me and jumped onto my leg as I start to giggle. "She's really taking a liking to me."
"I see, but she's not the deciding factor here, I am," he tells me as I walk over to him and lay my head on his shoulder.
"Well I'm not going to push you JT. I love you and when you're ready for me, I'll be right here waiting," I tell him.
"We'll see," he tells me as he takes my hand and smiles at me. "If you ever, ever in your life not call me, return a call to me or do something to upset me, I'm going to beat your ass James Lance Bass."
"Well I deserve a beating for the way I treated you, but I would rather you beat something else," I tell him, moving his hand down to my crotch again as he smiles, unzips my pants and started massaging me through my boxer briefs.
"Mmmmm," I moan out, rubbing his arms as his other hand found my ass. "Do you want some of that this time?"
"Maybe, maybe not," he tells me as he leans in and kisses me passionately as Miss Kitty starts meowing loudly. "Hush chile, I'm doing something with your step daddy."
"Yeah what he said," I say, laughing at the cat.
I can't believe mom would say those things about Josh like that. In all the time that I've known him, I've never known him to be the type of person she was trying to tell me he was. I'm so pissed right now; I don't know what to do. I could understand if she was upset that I was gay, but she's upset with me being with Josh. I should just go get my stuff, ask him if he would like to go back to Los Angeles with me and just go. I don't need any stress right now and believe it or not, that's what's happening here.
Tonight's dinner was a bomb. After ma flipped out, Karen and Roy got upset, to the point that they went back to their hotel. Lance's parents did the same thing and I don't know where he went. He left with them, but I don't think he's staying at his house since I know something about him that would drive them batty.
"Are you okay Joe?" Josh asks me as he sits down next to me in one of the lounge chairs.
"Yeah I'm okay Josh," I answer him as I turn to look at him, the moonlight making his face glow a little bit, almost like he was a magical angel. "I just wish things would've happened differently today."
"Well all things happen for a reason Joe," he tells me, leaning closer to me as he kisses me. "Was that okay for me to do that?"
"Yeah it was. I'm glad you did it," I tell him, leaning closer to him and kissing him back.
"I talked to my parents a few minutes ago and they're not happy with me being gay. Dad went on and on about grandkids and mom was on the Bible stuff," he tells me as I shake my hand.
"I would have thought that would have been Scoop's parents' deal," I say as he starts laughing.
"Well I'm sure they'll start doing that soon," he says and then covers his mouth.
"I already know about Scoop," I tell him as he looks at me strangely.
"How so?" He asks me.
"I caught him and Justin kissing one day," I told him as he looked at me, a little bit of anger on his face. "Sorry."
"It's alright Joe," he tells me. "None of that matters to me anymore. I have you know and he has his Nick and Cameron."
"Well he doesn't have Nick. Now that his secret is out, the truth about Cameron is out too and she so called left him. To save her reputation, she said that Justin was cheating on her," I tell him.
"Serves him right," he says, smiling. "In a sense of the things, he was cheating on her with Nick."
"Well for him and Nick being together for the last seven years, I was surprised. I thought they were only friends, but come to find out; they had ran away and got married while we were in Europe. They were very sneaky to pull something off like that," I tell him as he nods.
"Yeah, but a part of me despises him for all of that and another part of me is glad that I didn't tell him earlier how I felt a long time ago," he tells me as I pull him into my lap and wrap my arms around him.
"Well I'm glad you didn't tell him, I wish you would have told me sooner. Would have saved one person a whole lot of trouble," I tell him.
"Jeff's going to be okay Joe," he tells me as I start rubbing his stomach as he giggles.
"Joe that tickles," he tells me, squirming around a little bit as my body responds to his movements. "I see that someone feels the same"
"Huh?" I ask him.
"Remember that night we slept in the same bed over in Germany and it was really cold?" He asks me. "That Night it we bundled up to stay warm?"
"Yeah I remember that night...oh God...You actually felt me then?" I ask him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..."
"It felt nice, I just wish I knew then, what I know now," he says as he turns around and kisses me. "I think we should go to my hotel room."
"Your hotel room?" I ask him
"You thought I was going to stay here at Phyllis'?" He asks me.
"Well yeah I actually did," I say as he shakes his head.
"Well under different circumstances I would," he tells me, but now that mom and dad showed me how they felt and Phyllis got upset with you, I see no reason to stay here around them. If you like, you can join me at the hotel."
"I would like that very much Josh," I tell him. "You know if we were alone in a room, I might let my imagination go wild and end up doing some very naughty things to you."
"Hmmm, really? What kind of naughty things?" He asks me.
"Something like this," I say, letting my fingers graze across his ass and his crotch. "I might strip you of all of your clothes and do things that I've only dreamt of."
"Maybe I want to live out some of the things I've only dreamt of," he tells me, kissing me as he gets up out of my lap and takes my hand. "Why don't you go get your stuff and we head on over. It's already after midnight and I'm getting a little bit sleepy if you know what I mean."
"I know what you mean," I tell him as I kiss him quickly and go inside to get my things.
TO BE CONTINUED...
I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.