"You were traveling through space and time...I've been trapped in this world of mine. You came down from nowhere, you're blowing my mine...Cause I've been waiting patient for a love that's mile high. Floating over galaxies, we'll fly...You got me, you got me, you got me..."
He Got Me
by JT Poole
I must be out of my mind laying here getting ready to reveal parts of my life to this man. I love him and all, but I don't think he'll continue to love me when he finds out about the things in my past.
"Baby you don't have to if you don't want to," Lance says as I lay down on my pillow and started crying again. "Baby please don't cry. I don't want to see you hurt in any way."
"It's too late for that," I say, looking up at him. "I've been hurt enough in the past fifteen years to tag me as a fragile person with a fragile mind."
"Honey you're not a fragile person," he says, sitting down next to me and pulling me into his lap. "I see in my arms a strong black man that's willing to pick up a baseball bat to beat the hell out of me."
"That's not strong Lance, that's just a sign that I'm just as crazy as the doctors say I am," I tell him as he looked down at me.
"You're not crazy baby," he says, leaning down to kiss my lips.
"Lance you don't know what you're talking about," I say, pulling away from him and then getting out of the bed. "A long time ago, damn, I don't know if I'll be able to go through with this. A long time ago while I was still in college I came out as being gay. After being beaten by guys on campus, disowned by my family and even put into jail a few times by guys around town claiming that I had inadvertently made passes at them, I somehow made it through. Trying to make my family happy and accept me again I hooked up with this girl in town in hopes that I could do the so called right thing. We fooled around for awhile and with my bad luck, she got pregnant. Not wanting her to abort the baby like she wanted to, I thought that having a child could keep me on the straight and narrow so to speak. She had the child and things were going okay until a few months later."
"What happened baby?" He asks me, looking over where I stood.
"Some people in town gave us a hard time because of my past and they wouldn't let it go so she tried to kill the baby to get rid of me. In her alcoholic mind she thought that if the baby wasn't alive I'd just leave and let her go on with her life," I explain as he gasps.
"Oh my God baby. Where is the child now?" He asks as I shook my head and held up my hand.
"Let me finish things Lance," I tell him, taking a deep breath and clearing my throat. "Social services stepped in a few days later and took Ryan away from us. Since I was only eighteen at the time, social services didn't feel like I would be a good and beneficial parent on my own so they took Ryan away from us and placed him with a foster family."
"Do you know where he is?" Lance asks, looking at me closely now.
"Yes I know where he is," I say, looking down at the floor now. "I see him every chance I get."
"Go on," he says, not moving from his spot.
"So after all of that happened I started drinking heavily and well let's just say I let my past catch up to me. I started sleeping around with just about anything that would move on two legs. After a while Miss Nor...grandma found out what was going on and since no one else in the family would do anything she stepped in and got me away from that town. Thinking that I needed a new start she got me out of Georgia and moved me here. When I got here I thought I was going to be able to live my life freely, but as you know now, my grandmother lives across the street from me," I tell him as I turned back around.
"So she's your grandmother, your real grandmother?" He asks me as I nod my head at him.
"Yeah she's my dad's mother," I tell him, looking out the windows now.
"Why do you call her Miss Norris and not grandma or something?" He asks me as I turned and looked at him.
"I never thought of her as a grandmother Lance. In the last few years that she's actually known me she's finally come to terms with the real me and my lifestyle. If you'd known her when I first got here you'd say she wasn't any relations to me either by the way she treated me," I tell him, walking back to the windows again. "Not getting off track, a few months after I moved in this house, I fell in love with one of our neighbors. His name was Chad, Chad Allen."
"Chad Allen, as in the guy from that TV show `Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman'? He asks as I nod my head again. "So he's the Chad that hurt you?"
"Yes Chad was the one that caused so much hurt to me," I say, turning around and looking at him with tears in my eyes. "We started hanging out together and you could've sworn we were long lost lovers are something."
"Okay, maybe I don't want to hear anymore about that," Lance says as I look up at him.
"Well that's tough Lance, I'm going to tell you any way," I tell him as he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. "As I was saying we were like long lost lovers or something and we got real hot and heavy. After a year had gone by, things were still going strong with us and we started making plans to be married. Enter heavy drinking and multiple visits to the gay bar across town."
"Huh? You started drinking again baby?" He asks me as I shake my head at him.
"Not me, Chad started drinking and spending a whole lot of time at the bar," I tell him as he rubbed my back. "He started staying out late and drinking more and more. On his...our birthday, we share the same birthday and well I set up a small get together with all of our friends. I...we waited on him most of the night and he didn't show up. If it wasn't for Parry I'd broke down right then and there in front of our other friends."
"What's the deal with Parry anyway?" Lance asks, looking me in the eye.
"We met while I was auditioning for this modeling gig," I say as his eyes widened.
"You used to model? He asks as I nod at him.
"Yeah we both did," I tell him. "I went into writing and Parry went into acting and singing."
"That's so cool baby," he says, smiling at me now.
"So later on when Chad made himself seen he was drunk and to put emphasis on things he was half dressed when he walked into the house. You know he didn't even have the decency to go to his own house down the street to get himself cleaned up, he just came here and passed out on the sofa. I got suspicious of what was going on so I started following him only to find out that he was sleeping around with other men and doing God know what. That's about the time when he was outed in the tabloids," I tell him as I looked down to see Miss Kitty at our feet.
"Hi there Miss Kitty," he says, pulling apart from me to pick her up.
"Right around the time when she entered my life," I say as she jumped from his arms over to me. "Sometimes I wonder about how much she really understands about what I say."
"Seems like she knows when to come to you," he says as she meowed and started licking her paw.
"Seems like it," I say, smiling now. "Chad later found out that I had been following him around and he didn't take that very well. He got rude and basically started beating on me, telling me that he wouldn't have cheat on me if I looked half as good as the men he was sleeping around with."
"What!" Lance screamed, scaring Miss Kitty, causing her to hiss and jump from my arms. "He put his hands on you?"
"Yeah he put his hands on me, more than once," I say, looking down now.
"Oh God baby," he says, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the side of my head. "No man she never put his hands on you like that."
"Well he did and I let him do it," I say, not looking up to meet his eyes. "I thought he was right and that I deserved it."
"Oh God no baby," he says as I noticed a few tears falling from his eyes.
"Well that's when grandmother and Parry stepped in and tried to help me with Chad," I say as I pulled away from him again. "It was like I was under some sort of spell and I didn't want to believe what he was doing to me. Getting tired of me not dealing with reality, grandmother had me institutionalized so I could deal with all that had happened in my life from all the abuse I took in Georgia, the stuff that happened with Ryan to the stuff that was happening with Chad. I just didn't want to lose the love I thought it was I had."
"Baby that wasn't love," he says, lifting my chin up to look him in the face. "If Chad loved you he never would've cheated on you and he most definitely would've never put his hands on you."
"That's not all Lance," I say as he closed his mouth and looked at me again. "I got out of the hospital and went right back to him."
"You what!" He screamed as I stepped back away from him, almost getting scared of him too. "I'm sorry baby."
"Yeah I went back to him and when he didn't show me the love I thought I wanted I tried to kill myself," I tell him as he moved back to the edge of the bed and sat down. "Grandmother sent me back to the crazy house and I stayed there for almost a year in a strange trance-like state until Ryan touched me."
"Ryan touched you?" He asked as I nodded.
"Yeah his foster dad brought him to see me at the request of my grandmother," I tell him just as the door to the room opened and grandmother and Ryan were standing there.
"Daddy are you okay?" Ryan asks as grandmother grabbed the door handle and closed the door behind him as he walked over to where I was.
"H-hello Ryan," I say as he looked up at me and then wrapped his arms around me.
"Hi daddy," he says as Lance got up off the bed and looked at the two of us funny. "Grandmama called and said that you needed me."
"She did? Oh Ryan, I've missed you," I say, holding on to him tightly as I looked up to see that Lance was now standing at the door. "Lance this is my son Ryan Michael."
"Daddy is this your husband?" Ryan asks as Lance stood there in shock it seemed.
"No he's not my husband son," I say as Ryan looked up at me and then to Lance.
"Then what is he to you then Daddy?" Ryan asks as I looked over to Lance again.
"Why don't you ask Lance that question," I say as Ryan walked over to Lance and touched his hand.
"Mister what are you to my daddy?" Ryan asks, turning around to look at me again.
"Lance...Lance are you okay?" I ask, stepping closer to Lance as it seems he was snapping out of a trace or something.
"Huh?" He says, looking at me and then down to where I was looking.
"My son asked you a question," I say as Ryan smiled at me and then looked back up to Lance.
"Mister what are you to my daddy?" Ryan asked him again.
"I ah...ah...I'm your daddy's fiancé," Lance replies as I was shocked to actually hear him say that.
"Daddy you said he wasn't your husband," Ryan says, patting my leg.
"Well he's not my husband yet son," I say as someone knocked on the door.
"Come in," I say as my Uncle Jameson came into the room and smiled at me.
"Hello son," he says, hugging me.
"Hello Jameson," I say, looking down.
"Son I think we need to go somewhere and talk. Why don't we go to another room and let your friend here keep Ryan entertained while we talk," Uncle Jameson says as he led me out of the room.
"So what is it that you want to talk about Jameson?" JT asks, stepping into the room and closing the door.
"Son it's time that you take Ryan back," Jameson says, looking at JT now. "He's getting older and he's asking questions that I can't answer for him."
"What kind of questions is he asking?" JT asks, walking towards the windows in the room.
"He wants to know about you and his mother," Jameson says, walking up behind JT and turning him around. "He wants to know why he's not with you."
"He's with you because the system decided I couldn't raise him when he was born," JT says, stepping away from Jameson.
"Well that's no longer true and you know that son," Jameson says, looking down now. "You've been a stable man for a long time and the so-called system knows that already."
"How do they know that?" JT asks him, turning to face him now.
"They've been keeping tabs on you since I went into the hospital last year," Jameson says, turning away now. "I'm getting old John and I won't be able to keep him for much longer. He's almost thirteen years old and he deserves to be with his daddy."
"Am I the daddy he needs in his life Jameson?" JT asks, looking down at the floor as a few tears escaped the corner of his eyes.
"Yes he deserves you damnit! You're his father and there is no other person better suited to take care of him," Jameson says, taking a breath. "I must admit that I didn't agree with how you were living your life a long time ago, but you're still a man and he's your son. I'm not his father and I never will be."
"I know that Jameson but I don't think he'll be happy with me. How do you think he'll feel growing up and spending his time with a gay father?" JT asks him as Jameson shook his head.
"Boy don't even go there. That little boy knows you're gay and he still loves you. If he didn't love you, do you think he would give a damn about coming here like he has been over the last two years to see you?" Jameson asks, forcefully turning JT to him. "He doesn't care about any of that John and you shouldn't either. He's your boy and none of that should matter."
"But it does matter, it's not only my life Jameson, it's his life too," JT says as the door burst opened to the room and Ryan came running into the room and hugged him.
"It doesn't matter Daddy, it doesn't," Ryan says, crying now as he held on to JT. "I don't care if you like him or not. You're my daddy and that's all that matters."
"See that son? There's no reason for you to deny him of having his father around," Jameson says, walking out of the room now. "John do the right thing by him."
"Where are you going Jameson?" JT asks him as Jameson stops and turns back around to see JT.
"I'm going home. I'll be back at the end of the week with his things," Jameson says, turning back around and walking down the stairs.
"Daddy please let me stay with you," Ryan says as JT looks down at him and then up to see Miss Norris standing there with tears in her eyes.
"Are you sure about that Ryan? Do you really want to be here with me?" JT asked him as the little boy nodded his head really fast.
"Yes daddy I'm sure. I want to be with you," Ryan says, pulling back from JT with a saddened look. "That's if you want me."
"I...I want you Ryan," JT says, kneeling down on the floor to wrap his arms around the little boy as he cried too. "I've always wanted you."
"Well then it's settled then," Miss Norris says, stepping closer to the both of them. "Now I'm the happiest old woman in the world."
"I'm quite sure you are Ella," JT says as he looked over to the door to see Lance, Parry and Ross standing there watching what was going on.
"I'll be glad when you learn to respect your family members," Miss Norris says, hugging JT and Ryan.
"I think I've punished you long enough Grandma," JT says as Miss Norris starts crying.
"That sounds so much better," Miss Norris says, letting more of her tears fall.
Why in the hell are we still riding on this damn bus? It's Christmas Eve and we're still on the damn road against our better judgment of course, continuing Justin's tour. With all the stuff that's happened in the last few days I don't think Justin can handle too much more before he either cracks up or kills Johnny and Terrence. I know he has commitments and all but one of his best friends just died a few days ago and I along with Lynn believe Justin and the others need some mourning time, not continuing on as if nothing happened.
"Baby what time is it?" Justin asked as he rolled over in bed as the bus came to a stop.
"It's a little after one in the afternoon baby," I tell him as he set up just as someone knocked on the bedroom door.
"What!" Justin screamed out as the door opened and Rory walked into the room.
"We're here," Rory says, looking down and then stepping out of the room, closing the door behind him as he went.
"Baby that wasn't nice," I say as Justin looked up at me and then at the door.
"I know," he says, pulling away from me. "I'll go apologize to him."
"Good you can do that in a few minutes, but first I need something from you," I tell him as he looked at me funny as I pulled him back to me and kissed his lips.
"Mmmm, I liked giving that to you," he says, smiling at me now as he wrapped his arms back around me and sighed. "I don't think I can do this baby."
"I'm here with you baby," I tell him as I felt some wetness on my chest. "I know it's hard, but we have to tell her family."
"I know Nicky, but I don't know how to tell them," he says as he pulled away from me. "How do you tell someone that their child, their loved one has died? There's just no easy way to say something like that."
"I know baby, I know," I say as someone else knocked on the door. "Yes?"
"Boys are you decent?" We heard Lynn ask.
"Yeah we're decent ma," Justin says as the door opened and Lynn walked into the bedroom.
"We're here Justin. Do you need me to go with you?" Lynn asks, standing in front of the two of us with tears in her eyes.
"Every bit of support helps ma," he says as he stretches. "We're going to get washed up and then we'll head on in to talk to Julie's mom."
"Okay, I'll be upfront waiting for you two," she says, turning and walking out of the room.
This is one of the saddest days of my life right here and now. I don't know if I can handle any of this right now. Julie was my friend just like she was everyone else's and I'll do what I have to, to be strong right now. I just wished she hadn't died that day. When I saw her body flying through the windshield the way it did, I knew...I knew she wasn't coming back to us. I don't think anyone could survive something like that. The guys say it's not the bus driver's fault that she died, but I still blame him for it. He says that he had no control of the other vehicle that crashed into us, but there was something he could've done to avoid at all. I know it sound illogical but he could've done something.
We're here in Smithfield North Carolina where Julie's mom is staying with her nephew for the holidays and I don't know if I should run and hide or start flirting wildly with this hot man standing before me. I know this isn't the time to be thinking about such things, but Julie's cousin is hot. I'm an avid fan of wrestling and Julie's cousin just happens to be a wrestler for the WWE's SmackDown™ which goes by the name of The Hurricane but he's better known as Shane Helms by his family and friends. Damn, is this a dream come true or what?
"Would anyone want anything to drink?" Martha Helms-Morgan, Julie's mom asks as she walked into the room.
"I think we're all fine," Justin answers her as she motioned for us to sit down.
"So tell me Justin, how are things going for your tour?" Martha asks as she sits down across from him and crosses her legs. "Last I heard you guys were on a break back in Los Angeles. It's like I'm traveling along with you guys the way Julie relays detail after detail to me. Justin are you okay?"
"Baby," Nick says, wrapping his arms around Justin as he started crying again.
"Am I missing something here?" Martha asks, getting up to grab a Kleenex™ box and passing it to Justin and Nick.
"Hello ma'am, I'm Rory Callahan and I'm one of the dancers on Justin's tour," I say as she shook my hand.
"Why do I get the feeling that something bad has happened and no one wants to tell me? Where's Julie any way?" Martha asks, standing in front of Justin and Nick now."
"Yeah, where is Julie, aren't you one of her friends?" Shane asks, stepping closer to me now as I wanted to just fall over and faint, but didn't.
"Yeah I'm one of her friends," I say, looking down now.
"Okay now I know there's something's wrong. Where is my daughter gentlemen?" Martha asks again, turning away from Nick and Justin now and then looking at me. "What's going on here?"
"Miss Morgan..." I start to say as Justin sniffles and stands up.
"No Rory, I should be the one to say this," Justin says, wiping at his eyes.
"Say what? I wish someone would just tell me what's going on around here. Where is Julie? Why isn't she here now? Did she leave the tour? Justin did you fire her?"
"No I didn't fire her," Justin tells her as he looked at Nick and then back up to Mrs. Morgan with more tears in his eyes.
"Then what's going on here Justin?" She asks him as Nick got up and wrapped his arms around Justin as he started crying harder.
"Oh God," Martha says, stepping back a bit and then looking at Shane as she turned and sat down and covered her mouth. "Oh God, my baby...my baby is...is dead."
"What!" Shane screamed, scaring me a little bit as I moved to his aunt's side and hugged her.
"How...how did it happen Justin?" Martha asked him, looking up at him now. "How did my baby depart this world?"
She was crying, I was crying, hell we were all crying and it didn't look like it was going to get any better. After a while we all seemed to get calmed down and that's when Justin spoke up and started telling the story about what happened to Julie a few days ago and all the other information about what her family needed to do to get her body released. After all was said and done, we all boarded the bus and at the last minute Justin decided it was time for us to head back to Orlando.
TO BE CONTINUED...
storywriterjt or jtpoole9_gmail
I don't know any of the members of «N SYNC, Backstreet Boys or any other celebrities mentioned. I don't know anything about their sexual orientation or the orientation of any other celebrities in this story (even though I wish some of them were gay). This story is fiction and you shouldn't take it for anything else but that. This is for entertainment value only folks.