Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 14:43:43 -0400 From: Kathrine Subject: How Can You Love Me, chapter ten (gay/celebrities/boybands) Legal disclamier: this is fiction. Don't know NSync, not implying anything about what they are in real life. If you have a problem with male/male situations and relationships, or this is illegal for you to read, then stay clear. Author's note: soon out of prewritten chapters...but I'll probably write even more before I ever get to the last one I have done till now. This story is my baby, I'm not sure if I'll ever have the heart to end it. Tell me if you like it, the adress is storykath@operamail.com Chapter ten: Joey was laying absolutely still. -Don't think, he told himself, -don't feel... He was being touched, and he just couldn't take it. This wasn't right, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. The little voice in the back of Joey's head was still screaming at him to stop being a coward, to fight back. This time Joey listened. JC woke from something hitting him in the side. Sleepily he opened his eyes to see what was going on. Joey was turning restlessly next to him, obviously lost in another nightmare. And a bad one too, after the scared look on his face and the frantic mumbling. -Baby, he said softly, gently touching Joey's face. -Honey, wake up, you're having a bad dream. He had so hoped they had seen the last of the violent nightmares, what had set this one of? Escape. That was what Joey was trying to do, but the hands seemed to follow him. But this wasn't the brutal touch he had anticipated. In a way this soothing, tender touch was worse. It gave away a sense of false security. Before it all got bad. -Joey, wake up! JC was getting worried. He was careful not to induce more fear into his sleeping boyfriend. But Joey seemed to be too deep in sleep and bad dreams, and what JC was doing wasn't helping. He got hold of Joey's hands and held them stil. Instantly Joey's body tensed up. And JC knew they both were in for a rough time. Halfway between sleep and awake Joey felt someone taking hold of his hands. It had to be Jim. After all he was the only one in the room with Joey, wasn't he? JC had left him. Determined he fought against the hands, this time he wouldn't let Jim have his way. -Joey? JC tried again. Honey, wake up! Damn...this isn't working. He raised his voice some. -Wake up, Joe. Joey was still fighting him. -Please wake up, JC almost begged him. -I hate to see you like this! Tears were running down Joey's temples as he was laying on his back with JC leaning over him. -Oh baby...JC said. He pulled Joey into a tight hug, hoping that the closeness and warmth would calm him. He was being held by someone. Arms around his chest, holding him in place. Close to panicking now, Joey struggled to push away. The arms pulled him closer, he could hear soothing words being whispered in his ear. What the hell was going on? The room was still dark when Joey opened his eyes. Thankful to be out of the dream, he relaxed. But someone was still holding him. Did it really happen? Or was it just another nightmare? Only one way to find out. Tentatively Joey touched the person next to him. He brought his hand up and touched the other person's face. It felt familiar. -Josh? Joey was touching his face, like he was trying to determine who was there with him. JC heard him say his name. -I'm here, he answered, -right here. Now he could hear a small sound from Joey, sounding lost and frightened. For a moment he just snuggled up to JC and wrapped his arms around him. Suddenly Joey pushed JC away from him. -You left me! he accused him. -You left me with him! -Joey, you had a bad dream! JC tried to reason with him. -I didn't leave you, I was right here by your side. -I don't believe you! Joey answered, moving out of JC's reach. He wanted to get away, he still felt like running. Just that he had no idea where he would run to. The dream had seriously freaked him out, he still wasn't sure of what had happened and what was in his head. Realising that action would be more useful than words here, JC moved after Joey. Without saying anything he just embraced his lover, trying to envelope him in warmth, comfort and love. Joey had his back to him, his body tense. -I'm right here, Joey. I didn't leave you. I could never leave you. I love you, you're my Teddybear. Relieved he could feel Joey relaxing some, whatever he had dreamt seemed to have given him a bad fright. JC had some ideas of what the content of the nightmare had been too. Joey didn't answer him, but JC felt him reaching for his hand. While holding each other's hands, JC could hear Joey's breath quicken and start to shiver and knew there were tears on the way. JC released his hold for a second and Joey turned around and buried his face in JC's chest. Now he was clinging to JC, silently begging him to never leave him. The thought of being without JC scared him more than Jim had ever been able to. He gave in to the tears, hoping that JC would understand, that he wouldn't be mad at him. -It's OK, babe, JC whispered, stroking Joey's back. -I'll never let you go. I love you. Joey held on to JC like a drowning man would hold on to a lifeline. In fact JC was his lifeline. If not for him, Joey would still be lost in the living nightmare he had worked himself into. His Tigger had probably saved his life and made him believe that there was actually a light at the end of the tunnel, and that he didn't just go deeper and deeper into damnation. Joey looked up at JC, tears still on his cheeks. His brown eyes were shining with unshed tears. It felt like he would never run out of those. Or pain. Everything had been fine. He had JC, and JC loved him. He loved JC. Then just a damn memory, a bad dream, had managed to rip it all apart. Leaving them right back where they started. There was a soft look in JC's eyes, his fingers ran over the side of Joey's face. Then he leaned in for a sweet kiss on Joey's lips. Afraid of loosing the touch, Joey locked his hand around JC's neck, kissing him back. The kiss deepened, desire and want snuck in. JC moved to Joey's cheek and licked the tears away. The erotic caress sent shudders through Joey, lighting a fire of passion that only one man could ease. Joey's hand was on JC's back, the touch burned it's way to the very heart of him. On the tip of his tongue was the salty taste of Joey's tears. JC tenderly kissed away every remaints of tears on Joey's face, stealing small caresses in the process. Their lips brushed against each other's, Joey pulled JC closer. He wanted this, needed this. Their bodies was already closely entwined. JC pulled Joey even closer to him. He could feel the kiss change, this wasn't a comforting kiss anymore. This was more, they both wanted more. Only problem was if they were ready, if Joey were ready to do this. Too much had happened in just a few days, how could anybody be ready this quick? Well, if you knew...if you looked at each other and knew the other person held your heart and you happiness forever, you were ready. There were moments when JC was seriously wondering how they had managed without each other for so long. When all it took was a mere look to fall in love. He shifted and pulled Joey with him. Now the younger man was lying on top of him, legs in between JC's. Joey's hand slid up under his T-shirt. It was a little surprising to feel Joey make the first move. And it felt amazing. The warm hand was heading towards JC's chest. JC could feel his T-shirt being pushed up and then there was the sensations of moist lips on his naked stomach. The touch was torching hot, Joey kissed and licked his way all over, leaving JC in a state of shock and arousal. The T-shirt went further up, Joey moved after. Now his lips were on JC's chest. JC was lying still, trying to figure out what to do. Most of all he wanted to let Joey continue what he was doing. His breath was deep and shivering as Joey planted small kisses on his bare skin, teasing him with the tip of his tongue. Joey's hands were on JC's sides, just holding him. Gently JC let his hand run through Joey's hair, playing lightly over his neck. He felt warm lips on his left nipple, while Joey moved his right hand up to rub the other one. A moan escaped JC as he felt Joey bite slightly down, it was impossible to lie still anymore. Keeping his hand entangled in Joey's hair, JC let his other hand caress Joey's shoulders. Determinantly Joey pushed JC's T-shirt up. JC raised his arms and let Joey take the item of clothing off him. With his hair all messy from JC's hand Joey smiled down at JC and gave him a light kiss on the mouth. Then he bent down and placed his lips on JC's neck. This was feeling too good, and JC knew if he was to say something, he would have to say it now. But he didn't want this to end. -Joey? he said. -Hmmm? Joey answered, busy with covering JC's neck and shoulder with kisses. -Damn, that feels good! JC sighed. -But baby...are we...are you ready for this? Joey stopped what he was doing and moved so he could look JC in the eyes. Softly he ran his fingers through JC's hair, caressing his temple with his fingertips. -I'm ready, he said. -When it comes to being with you, I've been ready since forever. I know you will never hurt me, I want you to show me the way it's supposed to be. His words made JC smile. -Come here, he said, -I need to kiss you now. Joey obliged. One deep, passionate kiss later, JC tugged at Joey's T-shirt. -Let's get you out of this one, he mumbled against Joey's lips. Only breaking their contact for a second Joey pulled the T-shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. They embraced each other again, covering every exposed area of skin in kisses. JC was going mad with desire, but wanted to take this slow. And he was curious about Joey's actions, he let the other man take control. Joey was enjoying himself very much. This was kinda new to him, he never knew that there were so many things to be done that felt this good. He planned to discover every single one of JC's erogenous zones tonight and pay thorough attention to every one of them. But he had to admit his heartrate went considerably up as he let his hand slide down JC's stomach until he reached the top of his boxers. This he'd had experience doing, but this time was different. This time he wanted to do it, no one were forcing him. Joey had never thought that the feeling of his boyfriend hardening under his touch would be so sexy. Teasingly he worked his fingers all over JC's groin, causing little moans of pleasure from his lover. Just the thought that he was doing this to JC, he was making him feel good, was an incredible turn-on. Encouraged Joey let his hand slip under the waistband of JC's underwear. -Oh Joey...JC whispered, drops of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead. Joey continued his slow, sweet caresses, mesmerized by the look of pleasure and passion on JC's face. He wanted to explore this some more, he needed to see what more he could do to give JC pleasure. A little nervous he pulled down JC's boxers. A both shy and naughty smile curled his lips upwards as he undressed JC. This was a lot of fun. Boldly he let his hand lock around the very evidence of how turned on JC was, and heard JC's sharp intake of breath. The boxers was long gone. -I need another kiss, Joey decided and let his lips meet JC's again. Their tongues met eagerly, wrestling playfully with each other. Joey deepened the kiss as he could feel JC meeting the movements made by his hand. The rhytm got just a little bit quicker and JC was moaning into his mouth. JC's hands were cupped around Joey's face while they kissed. JC's body was shivering in utter delight. He couldn't believe that this was finally happening. Joey and him. Together in every meaning of the word. Joey's lips left his, JC opened his eyes. For a long moment they looked into each other's eyes, feeling the connection to their very souls. -I love you, JC said. -I love you too, Joey answered him. -And I love doing this to you... He couldn't believe that he was doing this, and that he was enjoying it as much as he did. Now he wanted all of JC, everything his senses could take. That included the taste of him to a very high degree. JC felt Joey move down and had a feeling about what was about to happen. He still wasn't sure about this, if they weren't jumping things here. But it all got lost in an intense shock of pleasure as Joey took him in his mouth. Joey was enjoying both making JC hot and having the same feelings himself. Hearing JC moan and say his name and seeing his face show how much he liked what Joey was doing to him, sent rushing tingles down Joey's spine. Thinking that JC could do the same to him, made Joey blush. He loved the taste of JC, he loved the feeling of running his tongue all over him. JC was squirming on the bed, he felt flames of passion licking all over his body. This was perfect, they were perfect together. Joey was the only thing in JC's mind, in his whole world. Right now he wanted to touch him, he wanted to hold him. He wanted to him to keep doing what he did, he wanted to do the same to him... JC's thoughts was going a mile an hour as he felt his body coming closer to the inevitable bliss caused by Joey's hands and mouth. He actually saw stars. And fireworks. It felt like he was going to pieces in heartwrenching pleasure and love. So immensly lost in the sensations, JC couldn't get a word out. He wanted to scream Joey's name, how much he adored him over anything in this world, but could only muster a strained whimper. Totally in awe over what Joey could do to him. Just a little out of breath Joey sat back. JC laid still in the bed, next to him. His eyes were closed and he was smiling this little, angelic smile. The image of him and the sound of his moans still ringing in Joey's ears was playing havoc on Joey's feelings. Even though he was extremely turned on and needed to taste more of JC, Joey was for now content with just sitting there studying his lover. JC opened his eyes and Joey felt his heart skip a beat when he met those intense, crystal blue eyes. Quickly JC sat up and pulled Joey towards him. -That was without a doubt the best experience in my life, ever! he sighed. -I'm so in love with you, Joey, I'm starting to think I'm going a little obsessive about you. His words made Joey smile. -Don't worry, he cooed back, -I'm already obsessed about you, about us, about this... Smilingly JC cuddled closer to Joey. -I don't think there exists words to describe what you just made me feel. Amazing, incredible, outstanding, ecstatic...they all seem too small, too weak. He looked up in Joey's eyes. -I love you. The three small words told Joey everything he needed to know. They remained in that position for a while. Then Joey felt a warm hand slipping down beneath them. Tenderly following his chest down on his stomach, then going even more down. Before Joey could say anything, JC captured his lips in a sweet kiss. Teasing fingertips brushed over his hips, trailing his upper thighs. Knowing what JC had in mind, Joey wrapped his arms around him, loving the taste of JC's tongue in his mouth. His underwear were gone before Joey even knew what JC was up to. JC's other hand travelled around to Joey's back, making them become even closer. He let one finger run slowly down his boyfriend's strong erection, loving the deep shivering breath the touch elicited. -I want you to make love to me, he whispered into Joey's ear. Joey pulled away, he looked at JC. -I have never...I'm kinda...well, I'm... -I get the picture! JC said with a little laugh. -And don't worry, we'll take it slow. And nice. And sexy...and hot. Joey relaxed again and leaned back into JC. JC was reaching behind him, opening a drawer in the nightstand. He collected some items and sat back up. As much as he didn't want to feel that way, Joey wasn't sure about this. In one way, if they roles were reversed, he would have been much more comfortable. Then he would know what was going to happen, only that he didn't really know. Being with JC was lightyears away from being with Jim. But doing this to JC... He still couldn't make himself use the term `making love', hurting him would kill Joey. And letting JC do that to him, letting somebody at all that close again, scared the hell out of him still. JC noticed that Joey had gone quiet. -Baby, JC asked. -You allright? -I'm not sure, Joey mumbled. He know he was being stupid. If JC wanted him to do this, it couldn't be that bad now, could it? Strong arms pulled him tightly. -It isn't always like what you went through with Jim, JC said. -I won't lie to you, there is a little pain at first, but what comes after that... I promise you, it will be fantastic. And I also know that thinking of me doing this to you, scares you, so I'm not going to. Am I making sense at all here? Joey thought a little. -Yeah, he said, -it all makes sense. It's just that I'm still scared. I'm gonna cause you pain. And I don't want that to happen. And I also want to do what you want me to... -Hush, JC said softly and kissed Joey on the lips. -You don't have to think so much about this, just feel...and let me do the work. His lips found Joey's again, in a slow, erotic kiss. JC's hand cupped Joey's groin, making him even more ready. A tiny, tearing sound made Joey shudder slightly, knowing that the moment he both wanted and dreaded came closer. JC's hands were performing magic on his lower half. JC's mouth were still on Joey's as his hands made them both ready and nearly drove Joey wild with desire at the same time. Feeling JC move closer to him, had Joey's heartbeat increasing to a pace where he felt he was going to black out. But he couldn't keep his arms from embracing JC, pulling him in even closer. JC's legs encircled his waist, keeping them locked together. >From there everything went by very slowly. JC kept his promise of him doing all the work. Joey wasn't sure if he would be able to move if he tried. He was holding his breath as JC let them be joined. Warmth. Friction. Pressure. Beating hearts, gasping breaths. Incredible closeness. Pleasure. Pain. More pleasure. JC was careful not to let the pain he knew would come show. It would be gone soon enough. Second after second went by, in the end JC felt Joey chest tightly against his own. Lovingly he entangled his hands in Joey's hair, feeling his body adjusting to Joey. Joey looked up at him, desire smoldering in the depths of his brown eyes. A passion unbelievably extreme treathened to swallow him whole, he wanted them to be a part of each other forever. Was this was Jim was feeling when he had done this to him? Somehow Joey didn't think so. That had been all about control and hurt. This was gentle and careful, yet the most powerful experience he had ever had. -What does it feel like? he whispered to JC, needing to know what he was doing to his beloved. -Perfect, JC whispered back. -I didn't know it could feel this strong, this good. What are you doing to me, Joey? How come that every time I'm near you, my senses just can't get enough, that I'm never near enough? -I don't know, Joey answered him. -But I feel the same way. He felt JC's body tremble slightly and he gave in to the urge to move. With a throaty moan of raw pleasure JC dragged Joey with him, shifting so he was on bottom now. -Please, he begged, his lips close to Joey's ear. -Take me, make love to me. JC's legs were still around his waist, willing him in deeper. Joey tried his best to be careful, to take it slow, but he knew he was fighting a lost cause. JC was moving underneath him, letting out small sounds of pleasure, pleading with his lover to bring them both into ecstacy. JC's skin felt damp and tasted salty under Joey's eager lips as he coated his neck and shoulder in tiny kisses and nibbles. JC dug his fingers into Joey's back, meeting his hips with his own for every thrust. They whispered small declarations of love between moans and gasps, not even realising that the words were out. Release came too soon, and yet not soon enough. From the moment Joey felt JC's body tightening up and felt him press into his body, there was no way back. The hot, silky feeling of JC's climax on their naked chests and stomachs sparked him off, making him bite down on JC's shoulder, calling his name. JC embraced him with both arms and legs, holding him close. While a tidal wawe of sensual pleasure swept them into an ocean of burning hot satisfaction.they found themselves kissing each other. Not wanting to let go, never ever letting go again... Their breathing was the only thing heard in the room, no words needed to be spoken. Their hearts didn't need any words to display what love they held for each other, they both already knew. Joey smiled sleepily as he thought of what had just happened. He had made love to JC. He liked the way JC's hand was gently stroking his back. Feeling safe and loved he snuggled closer, pretty sure that the nightmares were gone forever now. JC still held him, together they drifted off to sleep, closer than any of them had ever imagined they could be.