Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2000 12:20:01 -0500 From: Kathrine Subject: How Can You Love Me, chapter seventeen Legal disclaimer: this is fiction. Don't read if you're not old enough. Author's note: another one. Hope you like. - Chapter 17 - Saying goodbye was hard as always, for all of them. When they had lived so close together for so long, they had both gotten used to having someone around at all times and always having someone to talk to. Even if they got a little tired of each other from time to time, they were never ever long apart. Now Chris was on his way to the house he had bought not long ago, Lance and Justin was on their way to Lance's appartement, and JC and Joey was going in seperate directions for the night, something which both truly hated. "I've talked to mom and dad," JC said, as they were waiting for their car. "They're coming over for dinner tonight and I am going to tell them then. "Promise me that you will call me afterwards?" Joey asked. "I'm going to tell my parents too, but they already know I am gay and they adore you. So they should be thrilled. How do you think your parents are going to react?" Making sure that their holding hands was hidden between them, JC frowned a little. "I hope that they're going to be ok about it. After I broke up with my last girlfriend, mom didn't say anything. She just told me that I had to do what was right for me. I kinda suspect that she knows somehow, I'm not so sure about dad though. I mean, he had never said anything discriminating against gays, but he has never really said much about it period. And I have no clue to about how he is going to take his own son not being straight." "I wish it didn't have to be so hard," Joey answered, "if your parents do freak out, then tell me, allright? I don't want you to be alone if something bad happens." "Thanks, babe," JC said, smiling. "How was I ever so lucky that I found you?" Quickly looking around to see that nobody was in sight, JC leaned over to kiss Joey softly. "Love you, Teddybear." "I love you too," Joey replied. "And I can't wait for tomorrow. We're actually moving in together, I still can't believe it. I have a feeling I am going to wake up tomorrow and find out that I have dreamt everything." He felt a slight pinch on his hand and sent JC a look. "Hey, what did you do that for?" "You're not dreaming," JC smiled. "Unless I'm having the same dream, and then I never want to wake up again. And I just pinched you, this is reality..." "That's good," Joey nodded, "and do remind me to get you back at you for that pinch." Smiling widely now, JC was about to answer as the three others joined them. "The car is on it's way," Lance said. "Actually two cars since Chris felt he needed to get a house on the opposite side of town from the rest of us. But the three of us are going to take one, so you two have some time together before you get home." "I'm still in the same town, Scoop," Chris said. "And come on, it's not that far..." "You better still be in the same town," Lance answered. "I swear, I oughta be sick and tired of the lot of you, but I am still going to miss having you around when I get home." "You'll still have me around," Justin said, leaning his head onto Lance's shoulder, looking adoringly up at him. Smiling at him, Lance placed his hand over Justin's for a little moment. "That is true," he told him, "and I am very very very very happy about that." He made Justin giggle. Chris had sat down next to JC and Joey. Although seing the displays of affections around him, made him miss Allie, he was so happy everything had worked out the way it had. If somebody had told him at the beginning of the tour that two of his bandmates were going to moving in together at the end of the tour and that the two other would be starting a relationship too, he would never have believed it. Now it was already something familiar. The cars showed up and the drivers waited patiently as they all had to hug each other and make promises to call and meet up as soon as possible. When they finally managed to break apart, Chris, Lance and Justin got into one car, while JC and Joey shared the other. Waving goodbye to their friends, JC hoped the nervousness he felt for the upcoming night was of the good kind. He really wasn't sure as to how his parents were going to react to the news he had for them. He would tell the rest of his family later, he was fairly sure that they would be ok about it though. But he needed his parents' support in this, they both did. The last thing they needed was to add another negative thing to their relationship. God knew they had worked through enough of them already. Since their driver wasn't on their staff, they couldn't cuddle up like both would have preferred. "I want to hold you so bad," JC said quietly, searching for Joey's hand. "Tonight is going to be hell, I don't want to be without you." "It's just one night," Joey replied, but JC could see by his unhappy look that he didn't quite believe in his own words. "And after that we won't have to be apart anymore." He took JC's hand. "You're coming over to have breakfast with my family tomorrow morning, right?" "I am," JC said, "although I would rather have you for breakfast..." He got a smile from Joey. "Well, who said that that couldn't be arranged too?" ********** As they had said goodbye to Chris and the car drove away, Justin looked at all their luggage. "Where did we get all this stuff?" he asked amazed. "I didn't bring so much at the beginning of the tour, did I?" "No," Lance said, "that's the result on you going on a shopping spree in every town we were in." "Oh, so that's why," Justin said. "And if I am not mistaken, half of this pile belongs to you." Stabling everything into the elevator, Lance had to agree that he had added quite a lot to his own baggage as well. Looking in the elevator to figure out if they would fit in there too with all the bags, Lance had to smile. Dragging Justin into the over-filled elevator with him, he pressed the button for their floor. As soon as the door closed, Justin pulled him close to him and kissed him. Almost falling over a pile of three bags, Lance wrapped his arms around Justin. Everytime they kissed he still felt like they never had done it before, his heart racing, toes curling and mind spinning. Busy with each other, they hardly felt the elevator coming to a stop. The doors opened and they were still kissing. Then the sound of somebody clearing their throat could be heard and made them jump apart. Looking up to find a neighbour of him standing in front of the open doors, Lance just knew that he was blushing deeply. "Sorry about that," he said quickly. "We'll be out in a minute." "Actually," Justin said, leaning past Lance. "I think we forgot something downstairs. The other elevator should be up any moment." Pressing the button for the first floor he hooked an arm around Lance's waist. "Now, where were we...?" Fifteen minutes later they were back up, and had gotten everything inside Lance's appartement. "Should we unpack?" Justin asked, hoping that Lance would say no. "That would be the reasonable thing to do," Lance said, running a hand through his hair. "But I really don't want to... I guess it can wait, what do you say?" "It can wait," Justin decided. Leaning against Lance in a hug, he added: "This is much more fun." Hugging Justin back while taking in the warm, lean body and the clean, sweet scent of him, Lance couldn't agree more. "I want you to stay in my room," he said, holding Justin close. "I need to hold you at night and I love waking up next to you." "I wasn't planning on staying anywhere else," Justin answered. Right then, standing in the dark livingroom with bags and suitcases scattered around their feet, Justin couldn't remember a time where he had felt more happy. "Let's get some light into this place," Lance said, taking Justin's hand. "And some air, it's stuffy in here." Opening the veranda doors the sun flooded the appartement with light and fresh air. "That's better," Lance sighed. "I hate it when this place has been empty for long, it takes a while before it feels normal again." But this time, while watching Justin lean over the railing to take in the vue, Lance had a feeling it wasn't going to be as bad. The phone rang and Lance disappeared indoors to answer it. Justin stayed on the balcony, enjoying the view over the city. It was still day light, but he could just imagine what a spectacular sight all the lights had to make at night. Up here the noise from the traffic was faint and the air crisp like on a late autumn day. Smiling softly to himself, Justin let himself daydream about how it was going to be to stay with Lance. Maybe one day they would get a house, and move in properly together. There was just something about sharing the same adress that got him all giddy. Or maybe they would stay here, and spend all of their nights together looking out over the labyrinth of lights at their feet. Suddenly a pair of strong arms encircled him and Lance rested his chin on Justin's shoulder. "Feeling ok?" he asked. "Better than ever," Justin replied, folding his arms on top of Lance's. "I love you, Lance. He felt a warm kiss on his neck and heard Lance tell him that he loved him too. Smiling out into the night, Justin was sure that things just didn't get any better than this. ********** Even if he most of all wanted to stay with JC, Joey was happy to see his family again. Being Italian he was hugged breathless almost before he was inside the door. He missed them a lot when they were on tour and coming home always felt good. Listening to his parents, sister and brother, Joey was always amazed that four people could sound like forty. But his sister usually got his attention either he wanted to give it to her or not. Taking one good look at him, she smiled and asked: "So who's the lucky guy then, little brother?" "You're scary," Joey told her, giving her a surprised look. "How did you know?" Shrugging she answered: "I always know. When it comes to Steve and you I always know. So, who is he then?" Seeing Joey's smile, her eyes lit up. "It's somebody we know, isn't it?" "It is," Joey said. "It's somebody you all know very well." Janine was practically jumping up and down. "It's one of the guys, isn't it? Who is it? Lance, Justin? It can't be Chris. JC?" Seeing Joey's smile widen, she squaled. "It's JC! I knew it, I knew he was in love with you!" Sending her an incredulous look, Joey turned to his parents. "I had planned to tell you later when things were calmer, but since *somebody* kind of helped me, I'm gonna say it now. Josh and I got together during the last part of the tour." "You and JC?" Steve said. "And I thought you and Lance were going to get together." "I don't think Justin would like that," Joey said, "they kinda also got together, just after JC and me. And Chris met this girl he used to be with in school, so they're back together too." "I can see that the five of you have been busy," his father said. "Now, let's go sit down so we can talk about this." Following his family into the livingroom, Joey was wondering what they would say to the fact that he would be moving in with JC very shortly. "Are you ok with this?" he asked as they were all seated. "Me being with JC?" "Of course we are, darling," his mother told him. "JC is a good boy, and I agree with your sister. He has always liked you." "You guys are creepy!" Joey said. "We only found out like a week ago, not even that! But after we discovered that we had feelings for each other, it feels like we have been together forever. Which brings me to something else I need to tell you. We are moving in together. Tomorrow we are going to go look for a house." "Are you sure about this, Joseph?" mr. Fatone asked. "I am aware of that JC and you have known each other for a long time, but do you think moving in together this fast is a good idea?" Taking a deep breath, Joey tried to explain. "I am sure, dad. So sure that I don't want to wait, neither does JC. I want to be with him, not only when we're on tour, but every day." "I think it is cute!" Janine said. "And if it feels right, I say go for it. JC is a cutie, I'm even a little jealous of you, little brother." The look on Joey's face at his sister's words, made mrs. Fatone laugh. "Even if I agree with your father that it is a little early, you have to follow your heart, Joey. And we will support you, and JC, no matter what, you know that." "Thanks, that means a lot to me, to both of us," Joey replied. "And even if we haven't been boyfriends for that long, I have known JC for years. We are going to be fine." Reaching out to ruffle his hair, Steve smiled. "My little brother's all grown up! he teased. Swatting his older brother's hand away, Joey smiled. Janine rolled her eyes. "You still haven't told us anything, Joey! I want to hear everything! How you found out, when you first kissed... Everything!" "What if I don't want to tell?" Joey said, "maybe I want to keep it all a secret?" "You can't do that!" His sister looked horrified at even the thought. "Don't scare your sister like that," mr. Fatone said, "and you know she'll make you tell eventually." "I am going to tell you, Jannie," Joey promised. The phone rang and Steve picked up the cordless one from the table. Turning to look at Joey, he grinned. "Joey, it's your boyfriend!" Jumping up from his seat and snatching the phone out of Steve's hand, Joey rushed out of the livingroom. "I'll take it upstairs," he told his amused family before he ran upstairs to his room. "I guess it's serious this time," mrs. Fatone commented. "My baby boy really is in love. I hope they don't move too far away." "They can't do that," Janine decided. "How am I supposed to keep an eye on them, if they do that?" *********** JC was pacing, feeling more nervous than he thought would ever be. Over the hours since they had parted he had called Joey three times, Joey had called him twice. Now his parents would soon be there and JC was trying to get ready to tell them. Joey's parents had been happy about the news and Janine in particular was thrilled. The door-bell chimed. Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, JC went to answer the door. Seeing his parents again was nice and dinner went well. Still JC couldn't quite make himself relax. Too much was at stake. In the end he was so nervous that he couldn't sit still. "Josh, I know there is something that you want to tell us," his father said. "And it would be a good idea to say it before you start to hyperventilate." JC had to smile. "You're right, dad. There is something that I have to tell you. And you might not like it." "Nothing's wrong, is it?" his mother asked concerned. "No, everything is fine," JC assured here. "To tell the truth, I'm more happy now than I ever have been. Because I've met somebody, the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with." "But that is great news!" mr. Chasez said. "When do we get to meet her?" "This is it," JC thought. Forcing himself to sit still in an armchair, he answered: "It's not a 'her', dad, it's a 'him'. I'm gay." The silence was of the kind where you could hear a pin drop. Feeling that he might as well tell them everything at once, JC continued: "I've found the man that I want to be with, and we're moving in together. Tomorrow we're going to go find a house. This is what I want, what makes me happy. I hope you can be happy for me too." "We are happy for you, hon," mrs. Chasez answered, getting up to hug her son. "You just took us by surprise, it was a lot to take in at once." "I'm sorry," JC said, "but I didn't really know how to say it... Dad, you ok with this too?" A smile taking over the surprised look on his face, mr. Chasez nodded. "Yes, of course, I am. I just need a minute to process it. But if this is what makes you happy, than I am happy too." "There is just one more thing," JC said. "You kinda know the guy I'm with..." "I should hope so," his mother said. "I want to know what kind of man that is going to be a part of my son's life. I just hope it's a decent, nice man. Like Joey for instance." "What did you say?" JC asked, feeling his jaw practically hit the floor. "Who did you say? How did you know?" "That is a lot of questions at once, son," mr. Chasez told him. "But I am seeing Joey!" JC answered, making his mother laugh. "I didn't know, honey," she said, "but you two have always been close and I am glad that he is the one for you." JC smiled broadely. "So am I." Later that night, he was telling Joey about the conversation over the phone. "Mothers are like that," Joey chuckled. "Sisters too, Janine could tell that I was seeing someone just by looking at me." "I'm just glad that they took it so well," JC smiled. "By the way, mom all but ordered us to come have dinner with them later this week." The hours went by and the night was approaching, but neither of them wanted to hang up and go to sleep. "I don't want to go to bed without you," Joey sighed. Before they parted, they had exchanged T-shirts, so Joey was sleeping in one of JC's Adidas shirts, while JC was sleeping in a Superman T-shirt that belonged to Joey. "I want you here with me too," JC replied. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep all on my own." ********** It was nearly midnight when Joey's mother saw the light still on in her youngest son's room. Looking in she found him sound asleep on his bed, still holding onto the phone. Smiling she quietly went over and took the phone. On the other end she could hear someone breathing, apparentely asleep also. Placing the phone at the nightstand by the bed, she wondered a little over the dark blue T-shirt she hadn't seen before. Pulling the bedcovers over her sleeping son, her eyes fell on his upturned wrist. In the light from the lamp above the bed, it wasn't difficult to see the faint scars. Now feeling a bit worried she gently brushed the hair away from Joey's forehead, hoping that he would tell her if something was wrong. Then she turned the lights off and left the room.