Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 15:23:01 -0400
From: Kathrine <storykath@operamail.com>
Subject: How Can You Love Me, chapter nine

Legal disclaimer: this is fiction, not saying anything about the NSync'ers
in real life. I made this all up. Don't read if it's in any way illegal for
you to do so.

Author's note: enjoy! Tell me if you like it. Otherwise, have a very nice day!
:-)

Chapter nine:

By the time the plane had reached it's destination it was dark again. They
were in Houston, Texas. One last show to go before it was time to go home
again.  -I need food! Justin stated, he dropped his luggage in the nearest
room.  -You always need food, Chris said from the next room. -I'm a growing
boy, what can I say? Justin answered.

There was a silent understanding of who would room together as they had
been given two double-rooms and a single-room. Joey and JC shared one and
Lance had already joined Justin in the room he had picked. That left Chris
to the single-room, which he didn't mind at all, he had been spending more
and more time on his own lately.

-We'll go feed Justin, Lance joined in the conversation, -then I for one
intend to just chill out at the hotel tonight. -Me too, Justin quickly
said. The words were out before he could think, and he bit down on his
lip. It didn't seem like any of the other's noticed the rushing way they
came out in. Relieved Justin sighed a little, he just wanted to spend time
with Lance. What they were doing wasn't so important.

-I'm with Lance, Chris said. -I'm gonna catch up on some reading. -I have
an idea, JC said. -After we eat why don't we all watch a movie or something
in Joey's and my room? There's bound to be at least one decent movie
on. OK, Lance said, Justin agreed. Chris looked thoughtful. -I don't know,
he said. -I'm kinda tired...  -You are spending this night with us, Chris,
Joey told him, adopting a stern look.  -And you'll have fun even if it
kills you. -Can't argue with that now, can I?  Chris answered with a weak
smile to Joey. He knew that they were concerned about him, but he was
fine. At least that was what he kept telling himself.

-So where do we eat? Justin asked, getting everybody's attention. -What
about the resataurant here at the hotel? Lance suggested. -We can order
something from room service later if we feel like it. -Movie means popcorn,
Justin immedeately said.  -Coke, Chris added. -I want chocolate, JC said,
-don't care what brand, as long as it's chocolate. -I want you, Joey simply
said, making JC hug him. -I love you, Teddybear, you're almost too cute!

-Teddybear? Justin asked, smiling widely. -Is that what you call him?
-Yeah, JC said, looking deeply into Joey's brown eyes. -My sweet, cuddly
and adorable Teddybear.  Justin rolled his eyes. -And I thought I had heard
it all! JC and Joey were still looking in each other's eyes, smiling
lovingly at each other. The three others waited patiently for them to
return to reality again. Time went by, JC and Joey were still lost in each
other's eyes.

Chris gave up and went to his room to get ready for dinner. Lance looked
like he wanted to time them, astounded over how long two people could stare
into each other's eyes like that. Justin just wanted them to snap out of
it, he was hungry!  -Enough already! he shouted. -I don't plan on spending
the night here watching the two of you get all dewey-eyed and goofy. Go get
ready for dinner, I'm hungry!  -OK, OK! Joey said, raising his hands in the
air. -Sheesh, you get grumpy when you're hungry, Just. -Go! Justin answered
and pointed into their room. But he couldn't keep himself from smiling.

At half past seven they were all in the restaurant, looking at the
menus. The dishes were listed after nationality and each boy found himself
in a different part of the world than the next one. JC chose Italian, that
was followed by laughs and slightly rude remarks from Chris, Lance and
Justin. Joey just smiled. He himself had chosen Chinese, knowing that JC
loved Chinese food. Chris went for Mexican, Lance decided on something
Mongolian and Justin finally decided to give the Argentinan menu a try.

The restuarant was small and intimate. The atmosphere was cozy, the room
was only lit by hidden lamps in the ceiling, issuing a soft, golden glow
over everything.  The meal went along in small talk, laughter and
commenting and tasting each's other choice of food. Chris seemed to drift
in and out of the conversation, Lance didn't like the look in his eyes at
all. Chris was planning something.

Joey was in the middle of letting JC taste some of his food, feeding it to
him with his fork. Justin was eying some vegetables on his plate, much to
Lance's amusement, trying to find out exactly what they were. It was
getting late when they broke up and headed back to their floor. Justin and
Lance followed JC to his and Joey's room. Joey got hold of Chris before he
could disappear, and dragged him along too.

They all piled together on the bed and tried to agree on what to watch. In
the end JC, Chris and Lance had outnumbered Justin and Joey when it came to
seeing «Titanic».  -You only want to see it, `cos you got a crush on
Leo Dicaprio! Justin told JC, making a face at him. -What's wrong with Leo?
Lance asked. -He sure is cute.  When all four of the others looked at him
with equally confused looks on their faces, Lance couldn't withhold his
laughter anymore. -Jerk! Justin said affictionately and reached forward to
push Lance out of the bed. Lance beat him too it, laughing so hard that he
fell out of the bed all on his own. That of course caused the other four to
crack up too.

In the end they were all calm enough to concentrate on the movie. JC was
leaning against Joey's chest, enjoying having his arms around him. Lance
wished that Justin and he could cuddle up like that too, but wasn't
prepared for all the questions that would raise. He hadn't decided what he
was feeling about that anyway, at the moment he just liked thinking about
it. On the TV the Titanic had just left the harbour, sailing unknowingly
out into it's final destiny.

JC was waken by something heavy rolling onto his legs. Sleepily he opened
his eyes to see Boris Karloff as Frankenstein's monster out to kill his
maker. And when he looked down on the bed he found Chris sleeping soundly,
stretched over everybody's legs.  -Baby? Joey's voice made him turn
around. -Would you mind telling Chris to get off my legs? -He's sleeping,
JC answered. -I think we all fell asleep. -So much for the movie, Joey
said, -I think I passed out at the beginning. -You did, JC smiled, laying
down next to him again. -Lance too, I guess Leo wasn't hot enough for him
after all.  -No, Joey said, looking over at Lance. -But it seems that
another one is...

JC raised himself on one elbow to look over Joey to where Lance was
sleeping.  He found not only Lance there, but also Justin. The two were
wrapped around each other, sleeping deeply in each other's embrace.

-You think there is something going on there? Joey asked, sounding a little
amused.  -Maybe, JC answered, -that could be why Justin keeps blushing
every time Lance gets near him lately. They look cute together
though. -Almost as cute as you, Joey said, and wanted to pull JC closer. It
didn't work as Chris was pinning their legs to the bed.  -We need to move
that one first, JC said, -then we can cuddle afterwards.  -That's a date,
Joey answered. -Now, let's move sleeping beauty over there.  Chris was a
heavy sleeper inspite of his energetic style. When he fell asleep, he was
out like a light for at least six hours.

Now he slept like a baby, unaware of his two friends efforts to roll him
off their legs.  -He sure is heavy for such a little guy, Joey commented,
trying to push Chris away from his legs. -Let me help, JC offered. With
joint forces they managed to roll Chris over, and theire legs were
free. -That's not good, JC said, looking at Chris lying face down in the
blankets. -I don't think he can breathe like that. -Let's roll him over on
his back again, Joey said. Unfortunelately they were running out of bed and
proceeded to roll Chris right on the floor. With a thud the darkhaired man
hit the floor, abruptly awaken.

Confused he looked up to see JC's and Joey's worried faces looking down on
him.  -Are you OK? JC asked. -Sure, Chris answered. -Why am I on the floor,
by the way?  -You were on our legs, so we rolled you away. Then you
couldn't breath so we had to turn you again. Then you fell on the
floor. Joey managed to get the whole explanation out in just one
breath. Another confused look followed from Chris. -What?

-You fell asleep laying over our legs, JC explained. -We were trying to
roll you away, then you fell out of the bed. -OK, Chris said. -What time is
it? JC checked his watch.  -Nearly midnight. -I'll be heading back to my
own room, Chris said, -I'll see you guys in the morning. -'Night, Chris, JC
answered. -See you tomorrow, Joey added.

The racket had woken Lance and Justin too. With shy smiles at each other
they quickly pulled out of their embrace, hoping that the others hadn't
noticed.  -I think we'll be going back to our room too, Justin said. -I'm
beat. -Yeah, Lance followed. -Sleep tight, guys. Chris disappeared into his
own roo, Lance and Justin went to their's.

Justin throtted about in the bathroom, while brushing his teeth and trying
to get into a clean T-shirt at the same time. What had happened between
Lance and him had made him think. Holding Lance, or have Lance holding him
seemed so right, like second habit. Nothing had happened between them in a
more romantic way, they just liked to be in each other's arms.

Knowing that Lance already had finished up in the bathroom and was in bed,
made Justin hurry up. He closed the door behind him and crawled into bed,
next to Lance.  Smiling a little he enclosed his arms around Lance, laying
with his chest close to Lance's back. Resting his head a few inches from
Lance's neck, he sighed.  -Good night, Scoop. Lance folded his arms over
Justin's. -Good night, Just, the answer came.  Tired after a long day, they
both drifted off to sleep in minutes.

In the next room Chris were on his phone. A smile played across his face as
he listened to what the other person had to say. Lance didn't know about
this yet, but Chris had...altered his plan a little. His friend had a good
imagination and quite a viscious streak to match, but he still had nothing
on Chris.

The person he was talking to kept telling him just what he wanted to hear.
-Good! Chris said, laughing a little. -And you made sure that he can't I.D.
you? He listened some more, before saying goodbye. Still smiling he let
himself fall beck on the bed. -First lesson, Jim, he thought. -Don't piss
me off.

JC and Joey had gone to bed too. JC turned off the lights, before
attempting to lay as close to Joey as possibly. The way Joey could snuggle
up to him, always made him smile. It was like a cat, curled up tightly to
him, seeking warmth and safety.  -'Night, Teddybear, JC mumbled, brushing
his fingers through Joey's hair.  -'Night, Tigger, Joey answered, his face
against JC's neck. -Love you. -Love you too, JC said, before closing his
eyes and letting sleep overtake his body.  Joey joined him in minutes. He
was much too tired to think of anything, just went off to sleep again. Now
all the three rooms were quiet, as every boy slept soundly.  At least for
the moment.

Slowly Joey opened his eyes, something had startled him. The room was dark
and shadow-filled around the bed. He was alone, JC was no where in sight.
Someone moved over in the corner. -JC? Joey asked, trying to see the figure
clearly.  -JC? a voice came back. Joey, Joey...the voice sighed. -I told
you about what would happen if you did this, didn't I? And yet you go
ahead... You've been a very bad boy.  -This isn't happening, Joey told
himself. -This can't be happening! He closed his eyes, clenching them
together. -It's all in your head, he said over and over to himself, -it's
all in your head.

His brown eyes flew open again as he heard footsteps coming closer to the
bed.  -No...he whispered. -Go away, just go away... -Sorry, can't do that,
a familiar voice answered him. A tall figure loomed over him. -You're not
real, Joey said, moving back, -you can't be real...I left you! -I'm back,
the voice said. -You knew I would come back for you, Joey, you can't escape
me.

Escape. The one word cut through Joey's scared and confused thoughts. He
needed to run away, to get out of this room. He had done it before, he
could do it again.  So why didn't his body move? Everything in his mind
screamed for him to move, but Joey stayed where he was, silently watching
the person next to him.

Exactly where would he run too? God, how easy it was to slip back into that
role, just to go back to that safe place in his mind and wait for it to be
over. At least for this time. He could do what he wanted to Joey's body,
but that was all. Joey had long time ago learned to shut down his emotions,
defending himself from being destroyed mentally. It was like he wasn't even
there, like it happened to somebody else.  Until it was safe to go back
again.

Feeling a small tear run down his cheek, Joey gave up. If this was the way
it was supposed to be, then who was he to argue? Hugging himself he looked
up at the person he had once thought he loved. -I'm sorry, Jim...