Date: Wed, 20 Aug 2003 03:26:40 -0400 From: JT Poole Subject: Boybands - How Deep Is Your Love - Chapter 30 Warnings and Disclaimers: 1) If reading this is in any way illegal in your town, state or zip code because of your age, religion, or other government rules you shouldn't read this. 2) If you don't want to read about male/male gay sexual relationships, go away. You shouldn't waste your time with this story. 3) I don't know any of the members of 'N Sync, or any other celebrities that may be mentioned in this story. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about 'N Sync, and any other celebrities sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction. Questions and commentary can be sent to "jtpoole9@cybersouth.com". I want to hear from everyone out there that is reading this story, tell me what you think whether it is bad or good. ====================================== How Deep Is Your Love -- Chapter 30 by JT Poole // Edmonton, Canada -- 12 Hours Later // "Where are we Steve?" Justin asked as the plane touched down. "I'm not going to tell you that." Steve stated. "We don't need our location getting out." "This place looks beautiful." Joey stated as he looked out of a window. "This is the perfect place for a honeymoon." "It is beautiful. Where are we Steve?" Brian asked. "Everybody I hope you please understand this. Due to current circumstances in your lives, I can not reveal our location." Steve stated. "You guys are here to relax and enjoy the surroundings. So that's what you need to do. Enjoy yourselves." "Well we will as soon as we get off this plane." Brian stated. "I guess this is good as any to start our honeymoon together I guess." "Well we are married." Joey stated as he kissed Brian. "Who's going to carry who over the threshold?" "Well you can't carry me because of your arm and I can't carry you because of my heart." Brian stated. "I guess we are walking." "I guess so baby." Joey stated. "Is Baylee still sleeping?" "Yeah, he's out like a light." Brian stated. "I am glad he's a baby. I hope he doesn't remember any of this stuff. I don't want him to have bad memories of his mother." "Well if he does remember her, I don't see why he wouldn't have bad memories of her. She has treated you like dirt all the time and she didn't care who saw it." Joey stated. "I know, but I don't want him growing up hating her." Brian stated. "Well I guess we will have to make sure he doesn't hate her as much as I do." Joey stated. // The Housing Compound // "So Joey and Brian are in this room here." Steve stated as they all walked down the hall, "Justin you are in this room." "Can I get a room away from all the lovebirds?" Justin whispered into Steve 's ear. "Yeah sure. I can put you down at the end of this hall." Steve stated. "Sounds good to me." Justin stated. "Alright then, let me make a note of this." Steve stated. "Howard I will put you in this room, and put Justin in the room I was going to put you in." "Alright with me." Howard stated as he walked into the room. "Okay JC you and Nick are in here. Harry, you and AJ are in here." Steve stated. "Justin you are all the way down here. I hope you don't get lonely all the way down here by yourself." "I will be okay. I just need to be by myself for a while. I have a lot of stuff going through my mind and I am trying to sort it all out." Justin stated. "What kind of stuff?" Steve asked. "If you don't mind me asking?" "Just personal stuff that I am dealing with. That's all." Justin stated. "If you ever want to talk about it, I am around here. I will be on the other end of this hall, or you can call me from this panel, this is my room right here." Steve stated, pointing at the button for his room on the wall panel. "That looks cool." Justin stated. "So each room has one of these?" "Yes. This is my version of the room telephone." Steve stated. "From this panel, you can talk to anyone in this complex." "Cool. Okay now that we have our rooms, where's the pool?" Justin asked. "You can find the pool on the first floor." Steve stated. "Before you go there, we are having a small meeting in the main room." "A meeting? What kind of a meeting?" Justin asked. "One to tell you guys all the places you can and can't go and all the things you can and can't do." Steve stated. "Okay. Cool. So are you going to be staying here with us the whole time?" Justin asked. "I will be here in and out." Steve stated. "I will be here the rest of the week, but I will be going back home next week." "Ah well I guess we will be here relaxing while you are working your fingers to the bone." Justin stated as he started unpacking his bags. // A Few Minutes Later // "Well I guess everybody knows the dos and don'ts so what that done, I am heading to my room for a nap. I will see you guys later at dinner." Steve stated as he left the room. "Wow, this place is just to much." Nick stated. "Makes me want to have a house built just like this." "Yeah me too." Joey stated. "The wall panels are cool too. There's one in every room, including the bathroom." "Yeah, but that's kind of impersonal." Howard stated. "Impersonal?" Justin asked. "I always like face to face conversations." Howard stated. "Face to face is good, but there are just times when you are tired and you don't feel like going to someone to talk with them face to face. That wall panel will come in handy." Justin stated. "That's true too, but I still prefer face to face communication." Howard stated as he picked up his magazine and bottled-water and walked outside. "I think you got on his nerves Justin." JC stated. "You shouldn't be so forceful with your opinions." "I wasn't being forceful with my opinion, I just gave it." Justin stated. "I didn't know it was a crime to speak my mind." "It's not." JC stated as Justin got up and walked outside. "I guess I better keep my mouth closed around him." "Baby you shouldn't have to be quiet because Justin's acting like a baby." Nick stated. "If he doesn't know how to accept good advice or help when someone is trying to give it to him then maybe he needs to go back inside his shell." "Nicky that wasn't nice." JC spoke. "Justin is just a little moody is all. I think he still has issues with me and you being together." "Not that again." Nick spoke, "Well I talked to him about it when we were packing his bags. He said he wasn't going to have a problem being here with us together, but I feel that he's letting it effect him anyway." JC stated. "If he said he didn't have a problem, take his word for it." Nick stated. "We are here to have fun and we shouldn't be wasting time here talking about Justin." "You are right honey. Let's go back to our room and fool around." JC stated. "No you're talkin'." Nick stated as he and JC ran up the stairs to the second, running down the hall to their room. // Outside // "Hi Justin." Howard stated, as he pulled a chair out from the table and sat down. "I wasn't trying to be rude in there." "Hi Howard. I wasn't trying to be mean either. Sorry if it sounded that way." Justin stated. "Well it sounded like I was attacking you for liking gadgets." Howard laughed. "It's okay. Josh thought I was trying to force my opinion on you." Justin stated. "Well we were forcing our opinions on each other then." Howard stated. "I guess so." Justin stated, laughing at Howard's comment. "So are you just going to sit here and mop around Mr. Timberlake?" Howard asked. "Might as well, I have nothing else to do." Justin stated as he started looking down at the table. "All of my friends here have boyfriends and they are busy with them." "Well I guess the two of us better form a club then." Howard stated. "A club?" Justin asked. "Yeah, I am in the same boat." Howard stated. "My friends are dating each other and I am here alone without a boyfriend too." "I didn't say I was alone here without a boyfriend." Justin stated. "Oh uh oh." Howard stuttered, as he begin to blush. "It's okay Howard, I am here alone too without a boyfriend." Justin stated. "So with that statement you made, I assume you are gay too." "Yes I am happily gay." Howard stated as the redness faded from his face. "Those words mean the same thing. How can you be happily gay? Happy and gay mean the same thing." Justin stated laughing. "You know what I mean." Howard stated. "Yeah I know what you mean." Justin stated still laughing at Howard. "You can stop laughing now." Howard stated. "You sound like a hyena." "Oh whatever. You are just mad that I got you." Justin stated. "You wish you had me." Howard stated, causing Justin to shut up and start blushing. "Wow that shut him up." "Ah...ah...sorry. I shouldn't have been laughing." Justin stated. "Well it was funny." Howard stated. "Are you okay? I wasn't trying to freak you our or anything." "I am fine. Just a little screwy up here, if you know what I mean." Justin stated. "Do you want to talk about that?" Howard asked. "I am a good listener." "I don't know. I hardly know you." Justin stated. "Okay. I understand." Howard stated. "What do you want to know about me?" "Huh?" Justin asked. "What do you want to know about me." Howard asked again. "How old are you?" Justin asked. "I just turned 29." Howard stated. "How long have you been gay?" Justin asked. "Since I was 20." Howard stated. "How did you know you were gay?" Justin asked. "Well one day, while I was still attending Law School, there was a foreign exchange student named Sven. Sven was this nice Swedish guy with long blonde hair and a body to die for." Howard spoke. "From the moment that he spoke to me, I know there was something strange about him. He wasn't like all the other guys I had talked to. I had talked and hung around other gay men before, but this time it was different. When he spoke to me, it's like I could see myself with him in another world or something. Whenever he was around things would seem different with the world. Things would always be imaginary." "Imaginary?" Justin asked. "Yeah like my imagination was working over time with me, only it wasn't." Howard stated. "One night I was in the library minding my business, preparing for a term paper when he walked over to my table and sat down in front of me. He just sat there looking at me as though he was looking through me." "And..." Justin spoke. "I got annoyed and got up from the table." Howard spoke. "As I was leaving the table, he grabbed my arm, stood up and then kissed me." "What did you do then?" Justin asked. "I let him kiss me." Howard stated. "We kissed there for god knows how long, then we walked back to his room and we made love." "You and he made love that first time? You didn't know each other." Justin stated. "I know that, but we were caught up in the moment." Howard stated. "And it felt so good." "I don't think I can have sex with someone I just met." Justin stated. "I thought that too, but as I said, when Sven was around me, things seemed different." Howard stated. "So whatever happened to Sven?" Justin asked. "He went back to Sweden the next day." Howard stated. "I was so hurt. After that day I didn't know what to think. I had mixed feelings about my sexuality. I didn't know if I was gay, straight or bisexual." "So how did you determine if you were gay?" Justin asked. "I tried to sleep with a woman and well, to put it lightly, she didn't float my boat and I definitely didn't float hers." Howard stated. "I don't get it. Can you explain that?" Justin stated. "I couldn't get it up and she tried everything that I had done with Sven and nothing happened, my body just didn't work." Howard stated. "Oh. I understand now." Justin stated. "I really don't know if I am gay or bisexual." "Why don't you?" Howard asked. "Well I haven't slept with a guy before and the only guy I have had feelings for is Josh and that was just recently when I found out that he and Nick were together." Justin explained. "Hmmmm. So you are saying that you didn't know you were gay until you found out that JC and Nick were dating each other?" Howard asked. "Basically yeah." Justin stated. "I have always had feelings for him. I just didn't know how deep those feelings went until I saw him and Nick kissing." "What made you realize your feelings for him?" Howard asked. "I got jealous when I saw the two of them kissing." Justin stated. "Why?" Howard asked. "Because at the time I wished it was me he was kissing like that." Justin stated. "How were they kissing?" Howard asked. "I can't explain it." Justin stated. "Ah." Howard stated as Justin got up out of his chair, turned his back and started crying softly. "Justin are you okay?" "I am fine." Justin spoke as you can here the sadness in his voice. "You don't sound okay." Howard stated. "I am sorry if I said something wrong." "It wasn't you." Justin stated as he turned around, walked over to Howard and kissed him. ====================================== TO BE CONTINUED... Comments or Suggestions Contact Information E-Mail: jtpoole9@cybersouth.com Website: http://home.cybersouth.com/jtpoole9/hosted.html Yahoo: johntpoole AIM: SeekinWhtGuy4ltr@aol.com ICQ #: 146925768