JC Chasez

     Since we had to spend two weeks cooped up in a hotel, and running around for photo shoots, promotionals, and recording, Jive chartered a plane for us to fly back to Orlando.  I'm glad to get out of NYC, especially with everything that's being going on here, but it wasn't a useless trip -- we're finally almost done with the album, and I got a new love interest.
    After that night of incredible sex, Thomas and I spent whatever free time we could find together -- well, Justin tagged along with us last night, but he was actually cool.  We watched DVDs, drove around the city, and talked about ourselves; we also had several encore performances of that night.

     "Thinking about Thomas, Josh," Justin asked, as he flopped down next to me.

     "Yeah.  He's something else."

     "I'd agree.  We don't get to meet people like him often."

     "Uh huh."

     I suddenly remember something that Thomas said the last time we... .  Hmmm -- maybe Justin knows.

     "Justin -- what's a PDS?"

     "Who???"

     "A PDS.  Thomas said that I am now his PDS."

     "EWWWWW!!!"  Justin and I turn around to see Joey's face turned up.

     "What?"  Justin and I asked simultaneously.

     "Um, PDS stands for Principal Dick Sucker, you homosexual dude."

     Justin stares at me with a wide grin on his face, and Joey stares at me in anticipation of my response.

     "Well, I guess it's true."

     "EWWWWWWWW!!!!"

     Chris walks out of the bathroom.  "What's the chorus about?"

     "Josh is being gay?" Justin and Joey chime.

     "So. What else is new?"  Chris said nonchalantly, as he picked up a magazine.

     I can only shake my head.

     The guys poke fun, but they're glad that I finally found a steady boyfriend.  Well, I think all of them are cool.  Joey and Chris seemed genuinely happy.  Justin seemed happy too, but with a little reservation; I suppose it's because he and Thomas became good friends during our stay in New York.  Lance, however, has been the strangest.
     Lance congratulated me on finally finding someone to be steady with.  He said it's good because I would finally stop hooking up with groupies. But, he's been pretty distant.  Maybe it's because he's busy getting Thomas prepared for recording and so forth, but it seems that he got busy when I announced my relationship to them.  But, I'm making this out to be bigger than it really is, right?

Lance Bass

     JC really fucked up my week.

     I was on a high note. Thomas was one of the best things that happened to me, and the group, in a while.  Not only did we get three songs from him, but I also got a new client.

    A very promising client.

    A sure thing.

    A sure thing that is now involved with JC.

    We were sitting around breakfast before a scheduled appearance at a charity auction.  We're enjoying pancakes, sausages, eggs, and hash browns at this restaurant Joey knew about, when JC looks up from his plate.

    "Guys, I have something to tell you."

    We all look up.  I suspect that it's good news, because JC had been in a better mood since the free day we had the day before.  We all knew that the touring and the constant moving made for one moody Josh, but his disposition was much better.  Joey even suspected that our boy had gotten some.

    "I met someone."

    Justin starts giggling.

    "Are you laughing at me, Justin?"

    He managed a nod in his laughter.  "You hooked up with Thomas, didn't you?"

    JC turns apple red, which encourages Justin to continue his laughter.

    Joey takes a sip of OJ.  "Josh, did you really hook-up with Thomas?"

    "Yeah."

    "Damn," Chris said, "was his cooking that good?"

    "Um, not just his cooking, Chris?"

    "Ewwwww."

    Justin finally stops laughing.

    "See," Justin said, "I knew that you two were going to hook up.  I even told Thomas yesterday that you would try to hook up because he looks like Iverson."

    "You didn't," JC said.

    "Uh huh, I did.  He shrugged it off, but it ended up happening, hehehe." JC jumped up from his chair and smacked Justin in the head.

    "You didn't hook up with him because of that, did you?"  Chris said.

    "Of course not.  We have quite a bit in common.  We're both passionate about our music, we like much of the same types of music..."

    "You don't like hip-hop as much as he does, Josh."

    "Shut up, Justin."

    My ears were ringing when I heard Justin say that Josh hooked up with Thomas; That my dream lover hooked up with my star client.  What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say?  In my eyes, this is NOT good news.

    I ended up giving my congrats and whatnot, then I've used work as an excuse to put a little space between JC and myself.  But, I really did have a lot of work.  We managed to get Thomas' contracts checked out and signed, but now I have to set up a schedule with his agent (who looks like a short Rick Fox with eyes just like mine -- frightening). I have to make sure Thomas gets started on his album, and set up some deadlines with Jive.  So, I am busy, which means I don't have to focus on how crappy I feel.

Your love is a one in a million it goes on and on and on
You give me a really good feelin' all day long.
Your love is a one in a million it goes on and on and on
You give me a really good feelin' all day long.

    I look up to see JC softy singing that Aaliyah song to himself with his eyes closed.  I hate that song now.  Thomas sang that song that first day in the studio -- I almost cried right there because it was so beautiful.  The words were what I felt for one Joshua Scott Chasez.  But now, those words represent what Thomas and Josh feel for each other, and they represent a love that I may never experience.

JC Chasez

     Jive even threw in a limo ride from the airport to try to appease us from keeping us out on the road two more months after the tour ended, but I'm still a little pissed.  I hate buses and I'm starting to get sick of hotels.
     Lance and I are the last two to get dropped off.  He's hiding behind his laptop computer, I think.  He was pretty jovial until we dropped off Joey, Chris, and Justin; but once Justin got out the limo, Lance pulled out that computer and started typing away.

     "Lance?"

    "What's up?"

    "Talk to me, man."

    "I'm busy."

    "You weren't busy until we dropped the other guys off."

     I got him.  He stops his typing and closes the laptop. He places the computer into his bag and leans back into the seat.  He throws his head back, closing his eyes and clasping his hands behind his head.

     "Well, what's wrong?"

     "I just have a lot on my mind."

     "Wanna talk?"

     "Well, I don't know..."

     "We'll talk.  We'll go to my house, order a pizza, and share."

     "OK, daddy."

     "Big daddy to you, Lansten."

     We've sat through Forrest Gump, and ate a large pizza, a dozen hot wings, and a two-liter of Dr. Pepper, but Lance hasn't said anything yet.  He laughed at the funny parts of the movie, and looked over at me occasionally, but he hasn't said anything really.

     "Lance, talk."

     "Well, you're the one who invited me over to talk, so why don't you talk."

     "Well, Lance, you've been acting pretty strange lately.  And, from the way you acted in the limo, I almost think that I've done something to you."

Lance Bass

    "Well," I started.

    "What is it?"

    "Well, there's been some things going on inside that I haven't told you guys.  Why, I haven't figured out everything yet myself."

    "Lance, you know that I'm here for you.  All of us are here.  Anything I can do to help you, I surely will do."

    I can't tell him how I feel about Thomas, yet I can't think of a good way to explain my distance.  Wait!!! I think I know something that could cover my ass that wouldn't hurt JC.

    "JC, I'm gay, too."

JC Chasez

    I really didn't know what to say to that.  I wasn't mad -- that would've been hypocritical.  Perhaps it was shock.  Yeah, shock.
    I never ever suspected that Lance could be gay.  If I had to suspect any of my other bandmates of being gay, I probably would've guessed Justin.  But, I heard it out of his own mouth -- `JC, I'm gay, too.'
    Lance turns away from me.  I need to help him through this -- after all, I've been there.

    "Hey, it should be obvious that it's cool with me."

    Lance turns towards me again, with a slight smile on his face.  "I can't believe that I admitted that aloud. I feel like a ton has been lifted from my shoulders."

    "I know the feeling. When I told you guys, I felt so free, as though shackles were taken off my hands and feet."

    "Yeah, that's exactly it."

    I grabbed Lance's hand.  "Is this what you've been fretting over? You should've realized that you didn't have to worry.  The other guys will be cool with it; I haven't been ostracized."

    "Yeah, you're right.  I thought it may be too much to have two of us in the group, but I guess it'll be all right -- after all, we're like brothers."

    "You got it, baby bro," I said as I reach down and wrap Lance in my arms.

Lance Bass

    I slowly inhale the scent of my dream lover as he reaches down to hug me.  If only for a few minutes, he's mine.  I'm in his house, and he's giving me -- not Thomas -- his time and attention.  I reach up and hug him back; and for five minutes, I forget that I'll have to let him go so that he can return to the arms of Thomas.