Date: Fri, 15 Sep 2000 00:54:20 GMT From: Irda Majere Subject: If Only Part II Hey everyone!! I know it's been a looooong while since I last updated, sorry about that. I know both of you must be disappointed. :) Anyway, I hope you like this part. It has a bit of a surprise in it!! I hope you all enjoy my story, and all feedback is of course much wanted! Disclaimer: It's lies, all lies! No truth in there anywhere. Don't read if you can't handle it, and uh, be good! If Only by Irda Majere Part II As Ronan climaxed inside his restrained lover, he let out a loud moan of pleasure; not only because of the jolting orgasm but also from the satisfaction he got from hurting the man who lay under him, totally helpless and at the younger man's mercy. When he had removed his member from Shane's tunnel, he lay himself on top of his boyfriend's body. "How was that, baby?" Ronan said sarcastically as he placed wet kisses all over his lover's neck and face. "I know you like it when I'm rough." "Get off me, bitch," was the cold reply. "You're acting stupid and you know it. All this 'being tough' shit doesn't suit you." At this Ronan sat up and slapped Shane across the face. "Shut up, Shane! Just shut the fuck up!" Though he fought hard to contain it, his voice broke as he spoke the harsh words. Shane didn't say anything; he just lay still and stared intently at his lover. The look in his gray eyes was very unnerving, and Ronan quickly looked away. 'You're weak and you know it,' that look said, and it only made Ronan even angrier. He stood up and put his robe on. When he was clad, he stood and looked at his lover for a moment before speaking. "This suits you, you know," he said mockingly. "Being tied up like an animal. In fact, I like you like this so much that I'm not going to release you." "What?!" Shane yelled as he started thrashing around in the bed, pulling at the handcuffs in a vain attempt to free himself. "You can't just leave me here! Come on, Ronan, you've had your fun! Now let me go so I can beat the shit out of you, you crazy son of a BITCH!" Ronan said nothing. He placed his hands on either side of the naked figure, and his knees on either side of his leg. Then he reached down and planted a forced kiss on his boyfriend's lips; but as they kissed he brought his knee up as hard as he could into Shane's bare crotch, making the dark-haired youth scream out in agony inside the blonde's mouth. When Ronan stood up, Shane was still recovering from the blow so he couldn't say anything. He had brought his knees as close to his chest as he could, and his eyes were clenched shut from the pain. "Don't you ever call my mother that again," Ronan said in a voice which was soft but lethal. And with that he left the room, paying no heed to his band mate's curses and threats which were being shouted out with renewed strength. But as Ronan entered his hotel room, he felt his hard manner begin to slip. He immediately went over to his suitcase and with his hands shaking, he rummaged around in the large pile of clothes until he found what he'd been looking for: A large bottle of Jack Daniels, unopened and incredibly inviting to the troubled youth. After a bit of effort, he managed to open the bottle and without further ado took a large swig of the strong tasting beverage. The singer paid no heed to the burning sensation in his throat, and when he had caught his breath he immediately took another sip. This continued until the bottle was almost half empty, and its consumer half-conscious. But even in his drunken state, Ronan could still hear Shane's furious voice, promising revenge that he knew would be twenty times worse than the blonde's petty misdemeanor. He scrambled up off the floor, but his legs gave way and he slumped back down; so he decided crawling would be his best option. Slowly but surely the inebriated youth made his way towards the bathroom. Once there, he grabbed a few of the white pills that lay strewn all around the floor and stuffed them into his mouth. Then he gulped down a large drink from his trusty bottle, and as he waited for the effect from the sleeping pills to kick in, he half-consciously hoped he hadn't accidentally swallowed some bits of glass along with the pills. No matter how hard he tried, Shane couldn't get himself loose. He had struggled so hard his wrists had started bleeding, but to no avail. But the dark-haired man wasn't scared; he was furious. Thoughts of revenge ran through his mind, different every time but always worse than the one before. But all the struggling had made Shane exhausted, and though he fought the drowsiness with all his strength, sleep eventually crept over him and he slumbered uneasily for some hours. He was awoken by a loud knock on the door. "Shane, you awake? You must-" "Stephen, is that you?" Shane yelled back. "Yeah," Steve replied, a bit puzzled at his friend's eager tone, "but you must-" "Get in here, now!" Shane yelled impatiently. God, Stephen could be so thick sometimes... The door opened and Steve stepped in carefully, not entirely sure what to expect. His mouth dropped open when he saw his band mate in the awkward situation, and he quickly stifled a laugh. "Shane, what happened?" he asked, trying to keep the laughter from his voice. "Never the fuck you mind, just get me out of this!" Shane said through gritted teeth. Shane's harsh tone made Stephen forget all about the funny side of the situation, and he began looking around for the key to open the handcuffs. "They're on top of the bedside table," Shane grunted. Steve quickly grabbed them and proceeded to freeing his enraged friend. As soon as he was free from the handcuffs, Shane stood up, grabbed a pair of trousers and put them on. "Shane, you're bleeding," Steve said, horrified by the blood running down his band mate's wrists. "No shit!" Shane snapped in reply as he slammed the door behind him on his way out. Steve was left alone in Shane's room, absoloutely dumbstruck, but also worried. Where was Shane going in such a hurry? 'Stupid question,' the singer thought to himself, 'he's off to look for Ronan. He must be the one who handcuffed him to the bed. But why?' The more Stephen thought about it, the more worried he got about his friends. Eventually he decided on going over there and see for himself what was going on. Stephen was standing outside Ronan's door, about to knock, when his cellphone rang. "Hello?" he said. "Hey, baby!" came the sweet voice of his lover, Eloy. Stephen turned away from the door, deciding that Ronan and Shane could take care of themselves. Besides, it wasn't as if anyone was going to get hurt.... Shane had let himself into his boyfriend's hotelroom. He had knocked, or banged was better a word, but when he got no reply he had tried the handle and found out it was open. But when he entered, Ronan was nowhere to be seen. "Ronan?" he called. No reply. 'He must be in the bathroom,' Shane thought to himself and made his way over to the bathroom. The sight of his lover sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by bits of glass and a bunch of those sleeping pills Ronan had been taking didn't have much affect on Shane. Though it did look like Ronan had tried to kill himself, Shane knew he was alive. He was too much of a coward to ever do something like that. As he looked at the pathetic, but undeniably beautiful, figure of his long-time lover; Shane's anger started to dwindle. 'I'd be quite sad if I went and beat him up when he's in this state,' he thought to himself. 'I'd be like any fucking wife beater.' He went and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for his boyfriend to wake up. Judging by the empty bottle of Jack on the floor, Ronan had consumed quite a bit of alcohol with those pills (again), so Shane knew it'd take a while for him to wake up. And man, was he going to be a mess when he finally came to! Shane reached into his pocket for a packet of cigarettes, took one out and lit it. He had finished his second cigarette and was starting on the third when the man at his feet finally began to stir. Shane finished lighting his cigarette and watched as Ronan sat up, his eyes still shut as they dreaded the sight of the bright light that filled the room. "Hey beautiful," Shane said as Ronan carefully opened his blue eyes. At the sound of his boyfriend's voice, the blonde quickly stood up, a frightened look on his worn face. "Shane, please," he said, his raspy voice already cracking, "I'm so sorry about what I did, I promise it'll never happen again! I'll do whatever you want, just please don't hurt me!" Shane stood up and, taking one last drag from his cigarette dropped it into the toilet. Then he walked over to his lover who instinctively closed his eyes and averted his face, as if preparing for a blow. But Shane just took hold of Ronan's chin and gently turned his face to meet his. Then he placed his lips on Ronan's thinner ones, a kiss without any force or passion. Ronan's eyes opened and Shane could see the relief in them as a smile spread across the smaller man's face. "Come on, let's get you to bed," Shane said as he took his boyfriend's hand. "You look exhausted." Ronan followed Shane's lead into the bedroom, and they both removed what little they were wearing. When they were in bed, Ronan snuggled up to his boyfriend and lay his head on his chest. Shane began stroking the long blond hair that flowed over his shoulder, and the comforting touch made Ronan close his eyes and enjoy the nearness of his beloved. It had been a long time since he'd been so relaxed and comfortable in the arms of his boyfriend, and he intended to enjoy it as long as he could. When Ronan woke up, Shane was resting his head on his elbow and gazing at him intently with a small smile on his lips. "Good morning," Ronan said with a smile. "Finally, I've been waiting for you to wake up," Shane replied as he placed his hand on Ronan's stomach and began running it up and down his lover's abdomen. "Why?" Ronan asked, the same blissful smile on his face. "Because you still haven't made up to me what you did last night," Shane replied as he pulled Ronan closer and planted a wet, passionate kiss on his mouth. 'Oh, well' Ronan thought to himself as he felt that feeling of bliss quickly fade away, and be replaced by that same old feeling of fear he felt when he had sex with his beloved boyfriend. 'At lest he didn't hurt me like he threatened last night.' Then he broke the kiss and straddled his lover, pulling him into a sitting position. He reached his hand down, wrapped it around Shane's shaft and started stroking it, making Shane reach full hardness in no time. Then he turned around and lowered himself on top of the erect member. As usual, Shane didn't let Ronan get used to the size of him and pushed him all the way down. The blond bit back a cry of pain but dutifully began riding his lover, fastening his pace as to pleasure his lover as much as he can. Shane ran his hands up Ronan's torso before resting them on his shoulders. As he reached climax, the older man pushed his lover down on his cock as he filled his tunnel with the warm liquid. "Thanks, baby," Shane said as Ronan removed the organ from his anus. When he started to sit down, he discovered that his ass was very sore from the ordeal it had gone through and he winced slightly. Shane noticed and ordered him to lie down on his stomach. Ronan gasped as he felt his lover go down on him from behind and before long reached an intense orgasm. Shortly after, Shane made up some excuse about having to make a phone call and left, leaving Ronan feeling used and disappointed. He really thought that he had finally got through to Shane, that his boyfriend had finally changed into what the younger man wished him to be. Today's incident obviously proved that Shane wasn't all bad, that he could be really lovely sometimes. But sadly, those times seldom lasted more than a day, sometimes only a couple of hours. There was nothing he could do but just hold on and hope for the best. A few weeks passed, and finally came the day they had all been waiting for: The day their vacation started. And it was going to be a long vacation, what with the solo stuff they were all preparing. Shane and Ronan decided to stay in England because of Shane's racing. They stayed in the big house Shane owned over there, and Ronan looked forward to a relaxing holiday. Well, working holiday, but he enjoyed being in the studio so it hardly seemed like work. Finally, everything seemed to be going okay for the young couple. ****************** Somewhere in a hotel in London...... 'God, I've waited for this,' the young man thought to himself as he let the warm water of the shower wash over him. As he lathered his body in the sweet-smelling hotel shower gel, he tried to get his mind of the day's worries and concentrated on getting squeaky clean for the night's sure-to-be horrid outing. But because he was trying so hard to keep his mind elsewhere, he didn't notice when someone stepped into the shower with him until he felt someone slip their firm but gentle arms around his waist and draw him to them. He panicked for a moment but soon guessed who it was. He sighed. "You scared me there for a moment," he said to the taller man behind him. 'Don't let him get you this time,' he thought to himself as his friend started kissing the back of his neck suggestively. 'Be strong for a change. You can't let him carry on using you like this.' "Aw, I'm sorry, baby," the taller man purred into his captive's ear, "I didn't mean to frighten you." He slid his long fingers across the older man's stomach, heading downwards before reaching his goal. The smaller man drew in a sharp breath as his bandmate took his member in both hands and quickly brought it to attention. "Please don't," he pleeded half-heartedly, though he knew it was to no avail. They both knew he would give in, he always did. His friend had him wrapped around his beautiful fingers, and that went especially for his midsection. "You know you want it," the taller man said in the same purring tone, "why fight it?" With that he positioned himself at the opening of the other man's hole. 'So much for being strong,' the dark-haired youth thought to himself as he felt his young friend push his hardened shaft into him, never removing his big hands from his own swollen cock. When the couple had finished their love making, they got dressed in silence. A pleased smile played across the younger man's stunningly beautiful face, the other's handsome features were creased with worry. Their bizarre relationship had been going on for a while now, and it was driving the dark-haired youth insane. His feelings for his carefree bandmate grew stronger by the minute, but were being promptly ignored by the younger man. 'We can't go on like this,' the smaller man thought to himself as he put the finishing touches to his short, dark hair. 'Someone's going to get hurt, and it'll most definitely be me.' Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. "Josh, Just, you ready?" Chris shouted through the door. "We have to get going!" "Hold your horses, hot stuff!" Justin replied as he finished putting the last carefully positioned curl into place. "We'll be right out!" "Well hurry up! And leave all indecent acts for AFTER the party. We'll be killed if we're late!" The pair heard Chris's footsteps as he moved down to Lance's room. Justin had never kept it a secret that him and JC were at it, he even came on to him when the others were around, much to Josh's displeasure. Justin grinned and winked at his roommate. "We already did that, didn't we Joshy boy?" He planted a quick kiss on JC's cheek as he strode past him towards the door. "And you were positively wonderful," he said over his shoulder in a patronizing tone as he slipped out the door, leaving it open for his pained bandmate. Josh sighed as he followed his love out the door, closing it behind him but wishing he could just stay behind and drown himself in the liqour from the mini bar. ****************** In a big celebrity do somewhere in London..... "Shane, you don't seriously believe there's something between me and Shane?!" Ronan exclaimed to his stubborn lover. They were currently in the bathroom of the big club, keeping their lover's quarrel away from prying eyes. "Don't give me that Ronan, I know you fancy him! I've seen the way you look at him, I'm not blind!" "Shane, please believe me: I don't want anyone but you! Honest!" Shane looked at him critically, as if wondering if his boyfriend was telling him the truth. Finally his face softened a bit and Ronan let out the breath he had unconsciously held as he awaited his love's reaction. "Alright, I'll believe you. But if I ever catch you with that guy, I swear, I'll kill him!" "Don't worry baby, you won't," Ronan said with a feeble smile. Shane seemed content, and when he'd planted a small kiss on Ronan's lips he returned to the party. 'Undoubtedly to find some big breasted bitch to go home with,' Ronan thought bitterly as he fought the tears that threatened to fall once again. Mananging to keep them back, he drew a deep breath and left the bathroom, quickly disappearing into the crowd. "Isn't this great?" Joey shouted in Justin's ear to be heard over the deafening music. Justin just nodded in agreement, his eyes never stopping as they roamed the surroundings, looking for potential 'prey' as he and Joey liked to call it. 'Which should it be tonight?' Justin thought to himself as he checked the club's stock. 'Male or female?' Him and Joey had argued long and hard over the advantages and disadvantages of being bisexual. Joey had pointed out that when you're bi, you can never know which you want to end up with, at least not when you acted like Justin, sleeping with men one week and women the next, never sure which he prefered. But then Just had pointed out that when you liked both, you had twice the amount to choose from. And Joey had to agree with that in the end, leaving Justin as the triumphant winner of the debate. Voicing Justin's musings, Chris asked: "So, which will it be tonight? Nice and wet, or nice and tight?" Justin grinned. "Dunno," he shouted back, "I'm just gonna wait and see." Chris smiled and shook his head, always amused and amazed by his young friend's stamina. He watched the curly haired nymph disappear into the crowd, and prayed that he wouldn't get himself into trouble this time. He just wasn't in the mood to get him out of it. Ronan stood looking around the club, hoping to find someone to talk to. He knew the 'Lifers were there tonight, and he'd also heard that 'Nsync were coming. He hadn't seen them for ages, but he remembered them to be decent guys, especially JC and Lancce. He'd really got along well with those two. That curly haired thing was a bit too wild, but man, was he good looking! 'Shane would cut my balls off if he knew what I was thinking,' Ronan thought to himself, a bitter smile touching his thin lips. Then he saw someone very familiar in the crowd, dancing with a blonde bimbo and obviously having a good time at it. "The bastard!" Ronan said to himself. He had said it quite loud so he quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard him. No one seemed to have noticed, but that didn't make him feel any better. Why did he do this to him? His vision was blurring by the second, but suddenly a tall frame filled it. Hurriedly blinking back the tears he looked up to see the man's face. It was Justin. "Hi there!" the younger man said cheerfully, flashing his cheesy smile at the shorter man. "Long time no see! How have you been?" he asked conversationally. Ronan gathered his composure before replying. "I've been good, and you?" he said with a smile, glad for the distraction. 'And he isn't any less gorgeous than last time. Wouldn't mind a bite of that at ALL...' "How are the others?" he asked when Justin had answered his previous question, hoping he hadn't caught him staring. But the younger man had noticed, and happily drank in the attention. "They're fine," Justin said absently as he looked the smaller man up and down, not hiding that he was checking him out. The frankness of the act made Ronan blush, and he thanked the lord for the lack of lighting in the club. "So, you here alone?" Justin asked as he moved a fracture of an inch closer to his prey. "Well I was here with Shane, but he got lucky," Ronan said with a smile he hoped wasn't too sarcastic. Justin's smile seemed to widen when he found out Ronan was alone, and he intentionally licked his lips as he gave Ronan a seductive look. Ronan swallowed hard when he realised the temptation which was rising in front of him. "What about you, you didn't bring a date?" he asked, hoping to distract himself. "Well," Justin said, "I was hoping to find one here, see." 'He's mine,' Justin thought to himself, 'never thought he'd be this easy. Must've been ages since he last got some!' He pictured the blond man naked before adding to himself, 'Can't understand why...' "So, wanna get a drink or something?" Ronan offered. He knew he'd be killed if he went home with this man, but the temptation was strong. Too strong. 'What's the harm in going with him anyway?' he thought. 'It's not like Shane has ever been true to you.' But he had to make his decision sooner than he thought when Justin leaned in and whispered in his ear. "How about we just skip the drink and go to your place for a nightcap?" He placed his hands on Ronan's waist as he spoke, and he clearly heard Ronan draw a sharp breath at his touch. "Um," Ronan swallowed. 'This is it. Make up your mind.' "Okay," he gave in. "But how about we go to your place? I'm staying with Shane, see. It'd be kinda rude to bring company when you're a guest." "But I'm sharing a room with Josh," Justin argued, his hands still on Ronan's waist. He slipped his thumbs under Ronan's T-shirt and stroked the soft skin underneath. "Don't want him sharing a bed with us, now do we?" Even through the horny haze, something caught Ronan's attention. He backed up away from the tantalizing touch and looked up at Justin. "You two share a bed?" He had had his suspicions about those two, and the last thing he wanted to do was steal another man't boyfriend. Justin reached out and pulled him back to him. "Mix up at the hotel," he said in his purr-like voice that worked so well on Josh. "So, what do you say? Your place?" Taking it even further, Justin slipped his tongue out and licked at Ronan's ear, making the older man gasp. "Okay," Ronan agreed. 'He probably won't be home for ages, anyway. And so what if he does? It's not like he can say anything.' Caught in self-deception, Ronan allowed himself to be led out of the club and into 'Nsync's limo, which took them to the lonely house Shane had bought. The house was secluded, and quite old so it had a real haunted look about it at night. But neither Ronan nor Justin were thinking about the house as they made their way inside and up to the bedroom.