Date: Sun, 07 May 2000 22:14:05 PDT
From: Purple Raven <purpleraven81@hotmail.com>
Subject: If you knew Six....

Hey well here is a new part..

sorry for the wait, My keyboard was fried.. my roomie spilt pop on it and 
din't tell me... so.. anyway. I moved too ...

Raven...

Enjoy.


IF YOU KNEW WHAT I KNEW
six


Disclaimers: They are real people, but I'm using them for my own fantasy.. 
Get over it.. If you are eighteen, don't read....
MALE/MALE relationships...


Notes.. I will fix Brian, but in a little while....... he needs to get worse 
before he can get better.. SORRY.

*****************

	The sun was coming up when Josh knocked on Howie's door, he wanted
to do this a quickly as possible and intended to tell him before Dakota got
to him, she was out of town for the day. So today was the day, the day of
the barbeque and of telling the truth.
		"Yeah." Howie opened the door, half asleep, "Josh, what are
you doing here this early?"
		"Can we talk? You're going to need coffee." Josh said
quickly, Howie nodded opening the door for his friend to come in.
		"So what is this about?"
		"It's about Dakota."
		"Is she seeing someone else? You saw here." Howie said.
		"Yes, and no." Josh replied, he was surprised that Howie
could even think that she was cheating on him that he knew scared him.
		"What do you mean, yes's she cheating on me or no she's not
cheating on me."
		"She's cheating on you."
		"With, you must know, or is that the no, you don't know?"
		"I know."
		"So, who is it?"
		"Howie you have to promise me that you won't get angry and
hit anything."
		"Okay I promise." Howie was beginning to wonder where this
was going, he had a feeling that Dakota was unfaithful to him, but hearing
it was different than thinking it.
		"Howie, I'm so sorry, I never thought that it would ever
happen."
		"Whoa, what?"
		"Howie, I love her, and.."
		"And what?"
		"I'm the one she's cheating on you with."
		"What." Howie punched him, knocking him flat against the
door.
		"You promised not to hit anything."
		"You aren't anything." Howie yelled at him, "get out." He
pointed to the door, "we are not friends, I never want to see you again."
Howie turned away from him; he knew that if he looked at him again, he
would hit him. JC left, he had no other option, the only place that he
could think to go was Curly's. Justin would help him; Justin would be there
for him. Curly always was.

	Howie sat alone in shock; he was devastated that his friend would
sleep with his girlfriend, he never even suspected. He let the tears fall,
as his heart broke into tiny little pieces, he stared at the small velvet
box on the table in front of him. He was going to work things out with her,
and then give her the emerald promise ring as a symbol of his love. He sat
there alone until the phone rang; he picked it up on automatic. "Hello"
		"Howie, man you're late, you are never late." Brian's voice
sounded through the phone.
		"What. Brian I'm not coming."
		"You too, why?"
		"Who else isn't coming?
		"Josh, now why aren't you coming?'
		"Personal problems, I need to think it all out, you know
me." Howie replied.
		"Okay D. Call us."
		"I will." Howie replied, as he hung up.  ****************

	Brian walked back onto the deck, "he's not coming."
		"Why?"
		"Personal problems." Brian replied, Justin looked up, he
didn't have a good feeling, Josh was going to talk to him, "Brian can I use
your phone."  Justin asked, he really wanted to talk to Josh.
		"Sure use the one in the den." Brian pointed down the hall,
"thanks" Justin replied. Heading down the hall.
		"What was that about?" Nick asked, leaning against Kevin in
the lounge chair.  "Haven't a clue" Chris replied, as his band mates were
sucking face, he pointed to the pool, and motioned that they should throw
them in. AJ nodded agreement; he wanted to have a little fun, Brian held up
his hands as if to say not me. The two of them, reached over and pulled the
lovers apart, picked them up, and carried them to the pool, and threw them
in. Kevin and Nick sat and laughed, at the shocked expression on their
faces. Brian stood away from the pool, his back to it staring into
space. He didn't hear Joey coming up behind him; he started to scream as he
felt a pair of arms around him. "Let go of me, let go of me, Noooo." Brian
yelled over and over, Joey stepped back, looking like he had been kicked in
the stomach. AJ raced to his lover, "Brian, Brian look at me." AJ
whispered, pleading with him, Kevin stood behind him, his hand on his
shoulder. "AJ lets get him out of here."  AJ looked up at him, "he won't
let me touch him." AJ replied, he knew it in his heart. "Kevin he's been
having nightmares." AJ cried. Kevin moved to let Nick hold him, turning to
the other people on the patio.
		"I didn't mean to." Joey said, looking really scared.
		"We know. Joey this is not your fault." Kevin tried to
cheer him up.
		"Kevin, what is going on?" Lance asked, he had his arms
around Joey.
		"That's Brian's to tell."
		"We understand." Lance replied, hugging Joey closer to him.
		"Tell him I'm sorry." Joey said rushing out the door. Kevin
looked at him, and then at Lance. "I'll tell you latter." Lance said,
running after him.
		"Kevin, I wanna go home, take me home." Brian asked,
rocking back and forth. Kevin moved to him, "Brian you are home, you with
AJ." Kevin said.
		"AJ, he loves me right?" Brian asked his voice like a
child's,
		"I love you. I'll always love you." AJ said, moving
closer. Yet not touching him, he didn't want to startle him. "Alex, hold
me, I'm scared."  Brian moved into his arms. "He's going to hurt me again."
		"Shhh. Brian he's not here." AJ soothed him. Rocking back
and forth.
		"He grabbed me." Brian argued.
		"Brian that was Joey." Kevin said quietly.
		"Joey?" Brian looked a little shocked; he looked up as he
realized what happened. "Where is he?" He looked right at Chris, who was
still sitting there in shock.
		"He ran away." Chris said. "He's probably at the beach. He
always goes there." Chris explained.
		"We have to find him, I need to apologize." Brian cried, he
tried to stand, but found that his legs wouldn't support him.
		"Brian have you been eating?" Nick asked, AJ looked up at
him "he ate last night." Nick nodded, "But how much?"
		"Not much." AJ conceded.
		"I can't eat." Brian said.
		"You are going to eat, and then rest." AJ laid down the
law.
		"What about Joey?"
		"I'll go get them, and bring them back." Chris offered,
Kevin shot him a grateful look; he motioned towards Justin as he came
walking back out to the patio.
		"Hey Justin, let's go get Joey." Chris pulled him away
before he could even ask what was going on.  ******************
	His mind was on the phone conversation the whole trip to the beach,
Josh was upset when he called, he was almost in tears.
		"Josh where are you?" Justin asked as his friend answered
the phone.
		"At home." Josh replied, sarcastically.
		"I knew that, why aren't you here?"
		"Howie's there, he doesn't want to see me."
		"Why?"
		"I told him."
		"Everything?"
		"All but, the fact she could be pregnant."
		"Josh, what happened, he's not here."
		"He hit me."
		"Oh Josh, I'm soo sorry." Justin knew how much Josh loved
being friends with Howie; he looked forward to their lunches.
		"Justin, I don't think that I can go on this tour, it'll be
too hard."  Josh said.
		"Josh we have to we signed the contract, but I'll have
Lance talk to management, and mention then have him mention it to Kevin."
Justin compromised, he wanted to do this tour it would be helpful too their
careers, and not to mention it would end all the nasty rumors that the two
groups hated each other. "Josh at least they haven't announced the tour
yet." Justin tried to cheer him up.
		"Yeah, we were supposed to do that together." Josh replied,
the pain in his voice was becoming too much for Justin to bear. "Josh give
me a few minutes and I'll be over, you need me there more than I'm needed
here." he stopped as he heard the door open and close then a vehicle
start. "I think that people are leaving anyway.' Justin said.
		"Kay, but Curly don't be rude." Josh replied.
		"I won't" Justin laughed; even when he was down he was
still the older brother.
	The next thing Justin knew he was in the car with Chris, driving to
the beach. "Chris I need to go see Josh, he's feeling really down."
		"Joey's at the beach." Chris replied.
		"I'll call Josh." Justin reached for Chris's phone, and
dialed the number, "Josh, Joey's at the beach." Justin didn't even let him
say hello.
		"I'll meet you there." Josh knew that it Joey was there,
things were bad, and his problems could wait.

	Joey sat on the beach, Lance a few feet away, he wanted to hold
him, but he knew that Joey wouldn't welcome him. Joey knew he was there,
and he knew that he was hurting him, but he needed to feel close to his
lost lover. He cried the tears that always came, he remembered the words
that echoed over the calm water that day, as his lover was in the throws of
a drug overdose, he yelled at him 'don't touch me, leave me alone, this is
your fault.' over and over again. He told him 'you can't love anyone right,
you drove me to the drugs and are driving me to this.' Joey had to stand
there as he if he moved he knew that Michael would pull the trigger.  Lance
so wanted to hold him and tell him that Michael was wrong, that he could
love. He had worked so hard to let his lover know that he was all that he
ever needed. He didn't know what had set him off this time.
		"Hey how is he?" Chris asked coming to stand beside him,
supporting him, letting him lean on him.
		"I don't know he won't let me get close enough to see."
Lance replied, looking at him, sitting there the rising tide running up to
cover half his body.
		"Lance, he let you before, he will again" Justin said
hoping he was right.
		"I know, but.."
		"He hasn't been here in along time." Josh filled in for
him.
		"Yeah, it's been almost six months, and know today."
		"What happened?" Josh asked,
		"We were over at AJ and Brian's, they threw us into the
pool, and to get AJ back Joey grabbed Brian, he freaked, and started
yelling,"
		"It was probably the yelling" Chris said.
		"No it was the fact that I hurt him." Joey broke into their
conversation; He reached for Lance's hand. "Come with me." he pulled him
down the beach, to where he was sitting.
		"Lance are you frustrated that we aren't closer?"
		"How so, and where did this come from?"
		"We've been together for a year, we've made out, and that's
all, do you ever get frustrated that there isn't more?"
		"Joey I love you, and that is all that matters, I love
holding you, and when we are ready we will know." Lance replied "Why?"
		"I love you, and I know that Michael was wrong here" he
pointed to his head, "but here it is not so clear." Joey pointed to his
heart.
		"Joey, you are more than I'll ever need, you are there for
me, and yet you go with Chris and your other friends and have fun with out
me, you let me have my time." Lance smiled at him, "we live together on the
road, and yet we still have our lives, it would bother me more if we were
together twenty four seven, this way our time together is special." Lance
smiled, he reached for his hand, and placed it over his heart, "this is
what being next to you does to me." Lance said, letting him feel the gentle
beating of his heart.
		"Lance, can we go home?"
		"After we go back to Brian's."
		"Why?"
		"We should explain, they were worried about you."
		"Kay, let's go." Joey said, if they were going to be on
tour with each other than they deserved to know the truth.
		"We're going back to Brian and AJ's" Lance said, as they
joined the guys.
		"That would be good, Brian is so worried about you." Chris
said.
		"What, why?"
		"He feels bad, he wants to explain." Chris explained.
		"Let's go." Joey pulled Lance to the car. The sooner they
did this the sooner he could be at home in his arms.

********************

End For Now...

Raven...

Comments welcome

purpleraven81@hotmail.com