Date: 5 Sep 2000 21:13:03 -0700 From: Lee McDougal Subject: "If You Were To Hold Me" Chapter 4 Hey everyone I'm back again. This chapter was a lot of fun for me. I got to add 6 interesting characters to my story. As you will soon see. I'm not sure how big of a role they will play, but let me know what you think. lefteyefan- 1@tlcfanmail.com Check out my webpage at http://home.gay.com/leo1980 Disclaimer: I have no ties with the celebrities in this story.and know very little or nothing about there personal lives.This story is completely fictional.and has nothing to do with real life. If you Were to Hold Me Chapter 4 After dinner Blake and I decided to take a walk. It was already dark, so I didn't mind at all when he took me by the hand. As usual my heart raced at his touch. Now I knew he was gay, and he liked me. I could tell, after all he was holding my hand, and all those other little signals. But still he hadn't asked all the right questions.if you know what I mean. He hasn't asked me out, or told me he likes me either. I'm not that particular and I'm very perceptive. But I wanted to hear it from his mouth. We walked silently through the warm Florida night. My hand loosened from his. I knew I was being forward, but I had to ask a few things. And I felt more confident when I was overpowered with his closeness. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked him. "No, if I did, I wouldn't be holding your hand." He stated. "Well, you don't seem to talk about things like this much. Are you shy or something?" I asked. "Yeah, I guess so. I just assumed you'd figure it out." He said. "Well, it's nice to hear things verbally too." I said. "Yes, I suppose your right." He answered. "Well, I just had to get that off my chest.so to speak." I laughed. "Well, since you want to hear things.I like you Anthony." He told me. "Really? I like you too." I said taking his hand. We didn't say anything more.words would have spoiled the moment. We turned and walked back towards the house. I was very pleased with the way things were shaping up. Not too fast, not too slow.everything was just right. Nothing was going to rain on my parade now. I had 2 really good friend, and a potential soul mate. I was looking forward to this tour. This would be like the most exciting year of my life! I just had that feeling. As we arrived back at the house, I turned to look into Blake's eyes. "Well, I think I should get going. I'll pick you and the girls up at 11:00 for lunch." He told me. "OK, have a good night's sleep." I told him. "I'm sure I will." He said and leaned in for a kiss. It wasn't a very long kiss.just one of those short.OH MY GOD.kisses. And it was great. "Now." He finished. "Yes, me too." I said with my pants getting a little to tight for comfort. "Good night dear." He said and hugged me. "Night." I said. Soon, he was in his car and gone. All I could think was. "Come back!" But I knew I would see him soon enough. As I walked into the house, Ruby practically sprung onto my shoulders. "I saw you kissing him.I can't believe it!" She was smiling from ear to ear. "And you thought you would celebrate this by jumping on me?" I asked her.while holding her in my arms. "Well, I have to get in some fun before you and him run off together." She kissed my cheek. "You're so insane." I said walking over, and placing her down on the couch. "Well, that's true.but wait till Emerald finds out! She's been trying to bag that boy since they met, and now you got him." She was laughing so hard. "I suppose we can at least wait till morning to tell her?" I requested. "Sure dear, but the breakfast table will be filled with good gossip." She said. "In front of your mother?" I asked. "Sure why not, after all she knows your gay." She said. "How did she find out?" I asked, upset with her. "Well, I told Emerald as you probably guessed.and she kind of slipped it out." She said. "Sort of like she slipped it out to Blake?" I asked. "Yeah, something like that. Well, let's not fight over it. Mom was fine with it. She's pretty cool like that. She says `He's a fine lad'." She quoted her mother. "Oh OK. Well, I'm not in the closet or anything.but can you possibly keep from let's say.A) outing me to the world in one of your songs, and B) announcing it at one of the shows. After all, it is my business, not theirs." I said. "Sure that's fine." She agreed. Ruby got up off the couch, and we both walked towards the bedroom. It was time for sleep.we had a big day ahead of us! It isn't every day you get to meet celebrities. And on top of that.I get to be with `Blake'.sigh. I laid down on my pallet on the floor once more.my back is going to be sore as hell if I don't get a real bed soon. I guess I could have shared the bed with Ruby, but that girl still scares me sometimes. LOL! "Night Tony. I love you buddy.your like a brother to me now. I just feel like I could tell you anything." She told me. "Night dear. I love you too. I know exactly what you mean. I've been needing a sister for a while." I laughed and laid my head down to sleep. "Anthony? What's it like to be in love?" She asked me. "I don't know.It's hard to describe. It's sort of like you need the other person, more than anything else. You just aren't happy till you're with them. And when they hurt, you hurt. And when they are happy, you're happy. It's like you've become the same person.or at least that's how it's supposed to be." I said with a tear running down my cheek. "Sounds like you've been hurt before." She said. "A few times.but don't worry.I'm strong. And I know I'll find what I'm looking for one day." I told her. "I hope you find it with Blake. He's a nice guy." She said. "I hope so too." I confessed. "Have you ever been in love?" I asked her. "No, all the guys I dated back in high school were real jerks. I just never let them get too close to me.cause I knew they were trouble. I guess I told myself to lock them all out.till I find what I'm looking for." She told me. "That's very strong of you. I wish I would have done that." I told her. "Well, we've got each other to lean on now. And we won't let any men hurt us, and get away with it." She stated happily. "Right, sisters!" I laughed at the corny imaginings of me being one of the girls. "You're as insane as I am. Night Tony." She said. "Night dear." I answered. Soon I drifted back into the world of dreams.where everything is happy.and where ever I am.I'm safe and in control, so much nicer than the real world sometimes. I awoke to a rainy morning. The sounds of raindrops on the roof and windows were enough to keep me from getting back to sleep, but I didn't mind. I couldn't sleep very well here anyway.the place was still too new to me. I suppose I would have to get used to sleeping in new places.but I haven't acquired that skill yet. I rose from my pallet and crawled into bed with Ruby. If I couldn't sleep, neither would she! I started off with running my hands threw her long black hair. Her hair was very soft.I could have played with it for hours. With hair like that.who needed sex! Soon she stirred to life. "I see you like my hair." She said rolling over to smile at me. "Yes, it's nice. I am sorry if you mind.but I can't resist a good head of hair." I admitted. "No that's fine, I enjoyed it too. It sort of turns me on." She said. "I know what you mean, but it works both ways with me." I told her. "Yeah, me too.I like to play with cute guy's hair. I've never tried playing with a girl's hair mind you.but I bet it would have the same effect." She told me. "Yes, it would.I'm not normally sexually turned on by women.but I do love to play with their hair. Long and beautiful hair like yours.and soo soft.heaven." I finished. "Your nuts!" She said kissing me on the top of my head. "I know.it's one of my better characteristics." I joked. Ruby and I got up and walked into the kitchen. Rose and everyone hadn't gotten up yet, so we decided to cook breakfast for everyone. Between us we managed to cook biscuits, gravy, sausage, and scrambled eggs. By the time we had the table set.the smells of the food had awaken the other 3 in the house. "Good morning Anthony.you should have woke me. I didn't want you kids to cook while you were here.after all I know you will have to fend for yourselves out there on the road." Rose told us. "That's fine.I don't mind. I really enjoy cooking sometimes." I told her. "Well, OK.when are you going to be leaving anyway?" She asked. "Probably tonight. Right, Ruby?" Emerald asked. "Yeah, tonight at 9.we have to be at the airport at 8." She told us. "This is going to be fun.I've never been to California." I told them. "Well, we've been there a couple of times.we are recording part of our album out there." Ruby told me. "That's good.you can show me around then." I responded. "I think Blake can show you around!" Ruby said sticking her tongue out at me. "Yeah when are you two going to get together anyway?" Emerald asked. "Stop teasing him Girls." Rose said. "Well, I saw them kiss last night before Blake left." Ruby told the others. "I knew it! Pay up Johnny!" Emerald screamed at her brother. "What you guys had a bet about me?" I asked. "Yeah, I bet Johnny 20 bucks that you two would get together before we left Florida.and I win!" She said. "No you didn't.we aren't together.we just kissed." I corrected her. "Ha, I won't be paying yet girl." Johnny laughed at his small victory. "Well, that's close enough!" Emerald whined. "Stop bickering.just eat your breakfast." Rose tried to calm them down. Breakfast went pretty much like that. Everyone talked about me and Blake-even Rose had some things to say. I was glad when I heard the phone ring.even though it wasn't my house.I decided to run and answer it anyway. Any escape was a welcome one. "Hello." I spoke into the receiver. "Hey there, how are you?" Blake asked. "Just fine.I'm glad you called!" I stated a little to excited. "Why is that?" He asked. "Never mind.just trust me, you saved me." I laughed. "OK, I was wondering if you 3 will be ready around 11 for me to pick you up?" He asked. "Sure, we'll be ready by then. What should we be wearing?" I asked "Casual. I think we are eating at a dinner. Nothing fancy." He told me. "OK, that's good. I'll look forward to seeing you." I told him. "Same here.I'll let you get back to the girls. See you soon." "OK. Bye." I said and hung up the phone. I went and told the girls and then headed for the shower. I had to shave and make myself look nice. First impressions are important to me. I was so excited, and a bit nervous. I don't think I'm going to be one of those people that freak out around celebrities.but heck.I don't know that for sure. I mean sure I met a few.but that was different.it was just for a few minutes.this is going to be.like big! I'm going to have lunch with them.and go on tour with them and everything! Oh well, slow down Tony! You'll be fine. After I was dressed and ready, I looked down at my watch. It was only 9! What was I going to do for 2 hours? Well, there was always cards.would the girls know how to play poker? Or I could write letters to congress.after all doesn't everyone do that? Or maybe I could climb a mountain? No.not in Florida. Hmmm.Oh I know. I can watch TV. Now there's an exciting idea. Why didn't I think of that sooner? I set down to watch some mind-numbing soap with Rose. I don't remember what it was even.I guess my mind was wondering on other things. After about 30 minutes of that.I decided to go see what Johnny was doing. As I walked by Ruby's room I noticed she was reading a book. So I stopped into talk to her for a bit. "Hey Ruby." I said. "Hi Tony, I'm waiting for Emerald to get out of the shower. So I thought I'd read a little." She stated. "Cool, what's the name of the book?" I asked. " `The One' it's the craziest thing I've ever read. It has a futuristic flare about it.and it seems to be mostly about a gay couple.don't see many gay books these days." She stated. "That's interesting.where did you find it?" I asked her. "I ordered it off some website." She told me. "Why did you order a gay book?" I asked her. "Well, you'd be surprised what all us girls read." With that I decided to continue with my trip to see what Johnny was doing. As I approached his room I realized his music was on really loud. I didn't recognize the song.but I knew the type. It was rap. What was the point to carry on with this? Even if I could get through to him through the noise.I wouldn't have enjoyed the music. So I decided to head back towards Ruby's room. I saw that she had left.I assumed that she must be in the shower now. I noticed she left her book. I spent the rest of my extra time reading her book. It wasn't the best thing I ever read.but it did keep my attention. After I got through the first couple of chapters it was time to go. I knew I would have to get back to reading the adventures of Nova later on. I was betting that damn cat would die. I heard Blake knock on the door and someone let him in. I decided to go down to meet him as well. "Hey Blake." I said as I approached him. He pulled me into a warm hug. "Hey dear." He responded. "Well, aren't you two cozy." Emerald said with a large smile. "Yeah, pretty much." I said laughing at her. "I am." Blake added. "Fine.whatever." Emerald retreated defeated. But then she ran back. "Does this mean I win the bet?" She asked again. "Will you go get Ruby please?" I asked changing the subject. "OK, sure." She agreed disappointed again. When we were all gathered in the living room we piled out the door and into the car. Before long we'd be at the dinner to meet.the coolest music group (in my opinion). Blake parked the car and we got out. We walked into the diner to see five guys all wearing hats and sunglasses. Oh nice cover up.sun glasses indoors. Not suspicious at all! Oh well, with them was a friendly looking blonde woman. I didn't know who she was though. They had picked out a large enough table for all of us. "Hello boys, these two here are the Diamond Dolls.Emerald with the short hair, and Ruby. And this is my personal assistant Anthony. Myself, I'm Blake, manager of the group." Blake introduced us. "Hello, I'm Kevin, this here is my cousin Brian. Next there's AJ, Howie, and Nick and his girlfriend Susan." Kevin introduced us to the Backstreet Boys. Wow! They are so much hotter in person! "Nice to meet you." We all said with a round of shakes and occasionally hugs. Brian actually hugged me! With the introductions made we took our seats. I set across from Brian. Blake was at my side, with Kevin in front of him. Next to them was Emerald and AJ, followed by Ruby and Howie, and finally Nick and Susan. I hadn't heard about Nick having a girlfriend.but then again I guess being a boy group they didn't advertise these things. Brian I talked about the tour and other things. He told me about how hard life can be on the road.and that he'd give me some pointers on how to survive life on the bus. He really was a nice guy. I was a bit confused though.I thought him and Kevin were both married.why weren't their wives with them? "So are we all flying out together?" I asked Brian. "Yes, we are on the same flight. We have a video shoot tomorrow." He told me. "Yeah, that's the one the girls are in right?" I asked him. "Yes, it will be fun. Don't tell them, but I think Howie and AJ have a thing for them." Brian laughed. "Oh, that's interesting. I have an idea.that the feeling is probably mutual." I told him. "Well, that should make the tour more interesting." Brian said winking at me. His smile was so bright. I knew he would be a good friend to have around. I wasn't that star struck either. They seemed pretty normal so far. Which was a good thing. All and all it was a successful meeting. We all seemed to get along nicely. Nick was a bit drawn away from the group, but from what I could tell he had a good sense of humor. AJ seemed to be a flirt.he was openly hitting on both of the girls. Howie seemed a bit shy, but he had Ruby's attention all the same. Kevin was pretty business oriented. He and Blake discussed the possibility of part of the guys riding on our bus.so it wouldn't be as crowded for them. So it was agreed that Brian and Nick would ride with us. Nick's girlfriend was not going on tour at this time anyway. With all that settled we all decided to go hang out at the local mall for a while.and then head back to get ready for the flight. Brian, Blake, Kevin, and I took off together to check out a few stores. The rest of the group headed out in little groups. We all agreed to meet back at 4. As it goes with Malls.sometime later on Brian and I got separated from Blake and Kevin. I didn't want to loose track of Blake, but I wasn't too disappointed with my company all the same. Brian and I looked at a few more stores and then set down on a bench. We had been shopping for an hour or so already. Myself I was ready to call it quits. "I'm ready to call it a day, what about you Brian?" I asked him. "Yeah me too.I don't think I really need this stuff I bought anyway." He said smiling at me. "Well, I know the feeling.but there's something about these places. You just have to buy something!" I laughed. "That's true. Here I bought you this." Brian said handing me a blue silk shirt. "Thanks, but you shouldn't have bought me anything.we just met after all!" I told him. "Well, I just wanted to get you something to wear if we ever go out clubbing sometime." He told me. "That's a nice thought. But I don't do the club scene. I don't like drinking.and I don't really like dancing with girls.especially one's I don't know." I told him. "Well, you could always just dance alone, or with me." He suggested. "Brian, are you flirting with me?" I asked him. "Maybe." He said. "I thought you were straight and married?" I asked. "No, the whole wedding thing was staged by the record company. They have to keep me looking straight. It's all really stupid. But trust me.I'm not straight. I hope you don't mind me telling you. It's just I never get to tell anyone this stuff. The guys in the group know.but they don't like to talk about it. They just prefer to think I'm really married to her." Brian said more than a little depressed. "That's awful. You guys have been around a long time. Why not just come out.and see what happens?" I suggested. "Well, I would.but the other guys are convinced it will ruin our career. But someday soon I am anyway.I can't live my life like this. But for now.I'll pretend to be married.but that's the easy part. I don't have to see her that often being on tour. And in a few months I can fake a big fight and file for divorce.that'll cover me as straight to the world.and get her out of my hair." He told me. "That's very odd. I don't know if I can register this all at once. It sounds like a bad soap opera." I told him. "Being in a Boy Band is like being in a bad soap opera. Trust me!" He laughed. "OK then. Well, I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me. But I am a bit confused to as to why you trust me so quickly." I said. "I am a good judge of character. I know you will keep it between us, and I knew you were a good listener. Plus I suspected you were gay too." He admitted to me. "What is it? Do I have a gay pride sticker on my back or something?" I asked shocked that I had been figured out again. "No, it was just important to the plot of the story that I knew." Brian said. "What?" I asked. "Um, I'm not sure.I think what I meant to say was.It was just a lucky guess." He smiled at me. This day was getting more odd by the minute. We decided to head towards the meeting place. We arrived and there was everyone else. "Well, let's all get back and get ready. We'll meet you at 8 at the airport. It was nice talking with you Kevin." Blake said giving him a hug. With that the hugs and good bye's starting flowing like water. Soon we were all off, and Blake dropped us off at Rose's house. The girls pilled out first. And I stayed in the car to talk to Blake. "So what do you think of the guys so far?" He asked me. "They are really nice. Brian and I are going to be good friends I think." I told him. "Yeah, Kevin was nice too. He's concerned about Brian though. He thinks he's depressed about something." He told me. "Yes, I think so too. I believe he'll be fine though. He just needs some time and someone to talk to. I think I can help out some. I missed you today when you went away.by the way." I told him. "I missed you too." He leaned in and kissed me deeply. "So just to verify.we are a couple right?" I asked him. "Yes, of course. You're the guy for me Tony.your friendly, cute, and one heck of a kisser." He said and leaned in for more. After doing a little more tongue wrestling, I said goodbye and exited the car. I walked into the house and was greeted by the girls. "So what did you think of the boys?" Ruby asked me. "Brian was really nice." I told them. "And AJ was cute!" Emerald threw in. "I liked Howie myself." Ruby stated with a small sigh. "Oh well, I have to go finish re-packing my stuff. By the way Emerald I have some good news for you." I told her. "Oh what's that?" She asked. "Johnny owes you 20 dollars." I said and walked up the stairs. "To be Continued." I hope you all enjoyed it.and that you'll come back for more. I know this chapter was a bit odd at points.but oddity can be fun. Let me know if you liked this chapter? And let me know what you think of the Backstreet Boys being in the story? And yes I made up Nick's girlfriend. I don't know why.I just thought she might come in handy later on.*winks*