Date: Thu, 03 Feb 2000 13:57:16 PST From: Callista Martin Subject: Intimate Stranger installment 1 (Gay Celebrity Boy Bands) Hi, everybody! This is my first time writing on Nifty, even though I've been a reader for a while now. The beginning of the story is a bit on the dark side, but rest assured, the later chapters will more than make up for it. I'm not really that good with sex scenes, especially M/M, so even though I know that's the norm, I'll spare myself the embarrassment and just skip over it. I hope it'll still be entertaining for you all. Feedback is welcome at callista_martin@hotmail.com. And yes, I'm a girl. Disclaimer: This story is a pure work of fiction and the scenarios that take place are entirely false. Intimate Stranger By Diana The concert ended around midnight, and Justin Timberlake was making quick strides to his car. Sweat dripped from his face, and not entirely because of the adrenaline pumping through his body. Rather, fear was racing up and down his spine. "Hey, Justin!" JC Chasez called, dashing to catch up with his best friend. "Hi." the young blond replied meekly, grabbing his car keys with shaking hands. "Aren't you coming back to the hotel with us?" JC motioned over his shoulder, where Lance Bass, Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone stood by the N'Sync bus, staring at Justin in confusion. Justin bit his lip and shook his head. "No... I forgot something. Somewhere. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?" JC reached out before his friend could bolt, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Justin, are you all right? Ever since that 'FANatic' interview last month, you've been really distant." "I said I'm okay!" Justin sharply pulled away from his bandmate. "I'm on time to rehersals, I didn't screw up the dance routine and I remembered the lyrics! What more do you want from me?!" JC backed away, confusion whirling in his eyes. "Okay... now I'm really worried. Come on, let's go." "Leave me alone!" Justin screamed, pushing JC back and whirling towards the car. He opened the front door, got in and drove away. "What was THAT all about?" Lance asked, having jogged up to JC's side as the latter watched the car speed away. "I don't know." JC felt a lump grow in his throat. "I don't know..." * * * "Jack?" Justin called meekly, stepping into the darkened apartment. THEIR darkened apartment. It was Jack's, really, but Justin had grown used to calling it theirs. "You're late." a voice said from within the shadows. Jack Matthews was sitting on the recliner, staring at Justin with narrowed black eyes. Jack was 24 years old, solidly built, with short black hair and medium-tanned skin. "We had a concert tonight." Justin replied in exasperation, tossing his jacket on the table and shutting the door behind him. "I left you a message on the machine." "The machine is empty. Just like your pretty little head." Jack got up, and Justin immediately felt a flash of fear. But as he approached, the other man's hand reached out and pressed a button on the machine attached to the phone. A series of swift beeps revealed the dreaded news: there were no messages on the machine. "You lied to me, Justin." Jack said quietly, his voice betraying no emotion. "Jack, I KNOW I called. I told you I'd be home late!" "Were you with JC? Huh?" Justin refrained from rolling his eyes. "He's in the band, Jack. It's hard to avoid him." Jack lashed out, grabbing Justin's shirt and pulling him close. "I see the way you look at him, Justin. You're lying to me! STOP LYING!" "I'm not! I'm not lying!" Justin protested desperately, tears starting to well up in his eyes. Winding his arm back, Jack smacked Justin in the face, black eyes suddenly ablaze with enraged fire. The blow was sharp and painful. Justin's head snapped to the side, and a hand immediately rose to cover the reddened skin. The tears began to flow again, as they did every time Jack hit him, every time he felt betrayed by the man he loved. The flames burning in Jack's eyes suddenly went out, and his face was filled with remorse. "I'm sorry..." he whispered, pulling Justin to him and embracing him. "Oh God, Justin, I didn't mean it..." "It's okay... it's okay." Justin said, bravely trying to keep himself from breaking into a sob. "I just can't deal with the thought of you and JC together, Just." Jack sniffed, starting to cry himself. "I don't know what I'd do if he took you away from me." Justin shook his head, breaking away from Jack. "It'll never happen." There was a serene strength in Justin's voice now. "I love YOU, Jack. Josh is just a friend, that's all." "I know." Jack smiled and pressed his lips to Justin's, giving the teen a gentle kiss. "I made dinner. And then I thought we could..." He grinned wolfishly. "Talk." Justin chuckled. "Nice." Without a word, Jack swept Justin into his arms and carried him away. * * * As morning came, Justin rested his head on Jack's bronzed chest, unable to help the smile of contentment that twisted his lips. He hadn't been this happy in a long, long time. It had begun with an MTV "Fanatic" interview in Orlando only a month prior, but Justin liked to think that the story REALLY began in the old days, before N'Sync. The Mickey Mouse Club. And Joshua Chasez. He was only twelve, and JC 13, but from the moment they met, Justin knew that JC was The One. The One he'd get tongue-tied and weak-kneed over. The One he'd dream about at night, in the safety of his own bed. The One who would become his best friend, who would do anything for him except the one thing Justin needed and wanted the most. He'd known at that moment that he was attracted to guys. He hadn't wanted JC to be The One... God knew he had enough problems as it was. But no one could pick and choose who they fell in love with. Justin had been an outsider among the kids of the MMC, but JC had reached out to him, had made him part of the whole. And it hadn't been enough. As they grew up together, and became the lead members of N'Sync, Justin's feelings for JC only grew stronger. He couldn't deal with the frustration, the fear, the anger at himself for loving JC, and the anger at JC for not loving him back. He'd come close to telling JC the truth so many times... but Justin didn't just want JC to know he was gay. He wanted JC to be gay too. He wanted JC to look into his eyes and say "I want you. I need you. I love you." All fantasies. Tired of the dreams, of the silent jerk-off sessions as JC slept in the bunk above him, Justin tried the next logical step: hiding. He looked up his old friend Britney and hooked up with her. But it was a lie. He cared for her, but he couldn't love her. He'd tried so hard to make love to Britney one night that he'd started crying. And Britney understood that until it was Joshua Chasez in Justin's arms, he'd never really be happy. So they parted ways, still friends. But things had never been the same between them again. By now Justin had moved beyond denial, beyond repression. He was tired of the hurt. Tired of JC smiling at him during breakfast or an interview or whatever, and meaning nothing more than a friendly gesture. Tired of always avoiding eye contact with his best friend for fear of betraying the lust and desire. Against Britney's advice, Justin decided he'd had enough. He couldn't stop wanting JC unless someone else was the object of those feelings. Determined to fall in love, Justin waited. And waited. The opportunity just fell into his lap one afternoon, when Jack Matthews surprised his friend Molly on FANatic, taking her to interview N'Sync. When Justin met Jack's obsidian gaze, he felt something. A tingling he hadn't felt since he met JC. He'd barely noticed Molly, his mind completely on autopilot. Throughout the entire segment, Justin kept sneaking glances at the taller man. And Jack would always look back. After the interview, as the camera crew followed Molly and documented her final words, Jack had conspiratorially leaned forward and pressed a piece of paper into Justin's hand, whispering "See you around" in a way that sent a pleasurable shudder through Justin's body. Once the rest of the band headed off, Justin looked down at the note Jack had passed him. An address, only a few streets away. An invitation. For hours, Justin had wondered whether or not he should act on it. If he did it, if he got into his car and drove those few streets, and walked into Jack's life, it would mean no more "Justin and JC". It would mean Justin had truly given up on his best friend. The young singer couldn't decide what to do. If he went to Jack, he'd never know what could've been with JC. But if he outed himself to JC, he could lose his best friend. He hadn't known what to do. So instead of doing nothing, he just took a deep breath and went with his instincts. Jack had welcomed him with a kiss on the cheek and some champagne. He had a quiet air of reassurance around him, and soon Justin was telling this perfect stranger everything: his unrequited love for JC, the fallout with Britney, the constant fear that Lance, Joey, JC and Chris would turn against him if he came out, and finally, his need to feel wanted. Jack had listened silently, nodding every now and then. Then he did something unbelieveable. Leaning forward, he pecked Justin on the lips. It was Justin's first kiss with another guy. He'd always believed it would be JC's lips against his own... but when Jack's mouth made contact, JC was the last thing on Justin's mind. Suddenly everything was okay. With that one kiss, Jack was promising to be his friend, his confidant... and finally, after two weeks of seeing each other in secret, his lover. Having sex with Jack had been the best experience in Justin's life. It had surpassed everything Justin had ever thought possible... after that gentle, passionate night, he was sure it'd be Justin and Jack forever. Sure, they had their differences... Jack wasn't fond of the other members of N'Sync at all, partly because on some level he couldn't compare to the four guys Justin spent so much time with. But Jack was different. Justin trusted Jack completely, knew that he could tell Jack everything: his deepest secrets, his darkest fantasies. And Jack would love Justin anyway. And for a while, they were happy. The band had entered a "dead" period, having just completed their new album. With all the hard work they'd put into it, they'd earned a month or two off. Then, one day, things changed. It was entirely Justin's fault. He hadn't understood that at first, but it had become so perfectly clear in hindsight. During an interview for MTV, Justin had shifted his weight forward, unconsciously laying an arm across JC's shoulders. He hadn't even realized it until he came home and Jack backhanded him in the face. Really hard. He'd been utterly silent... Justin didn't like that. When Jack got quiet, it meant things were REALLY bad. Justin had been dead-set on running away. Nobody hit him. NOBODY. He'd packed his bags, the left side of his face still swollen from the blow. And suddenly Jack was on his knees, begging Justin not to go. Begging for forgiveness. The rational part of Justin Timberlake said to leave and not even look back. But at the same time, there was a little voice inside him, pointing out that no one, NO ONE could love Justin the way Jack did. Jack made him feel special, like some kind of god to be worshipped. Justin had dropped his suitcase on the ground and said he'd think about it. And he did, for two long days. Thinking about all the stuff in the newspapers about abusive relationships and the damage they could do. Thinking about how he HAD put his arm around JC, and that had upset Jack. People did strange things when they were upset. Jack had said he'd die before hurting Justin. And Justin believed him. So Justin had embraced his boyfriend (how strange it was to think of Jack as his boyfriend!) and promised to stay. Since then, it had been pure bliss. After a hard rehersal, Justin would come home to Jack's apartment and bitch about his day, while Jack would massage the teen's back and shoulders. They never went out together, but that was okay: Jack always made the nights romantic. They'd have dinner together, watch a late-night horror movie while curled up on the sofa, and every now and then, they'd make love. Each time seemed better than the last. Jack would be content to suck Justin's cock for hours, bringing the 19-year-old to a mindblowing orgasm. Justin would then lay back and let Jack fuck him, wanting nothing more than to have the 7-inch organ inside him for the rest of his life. So things weren't perfect. But they were close. Justin was happier with Jack than he ever could have been with JC. And sometimes Jack lost his temper, but that was okay. He didn't mean it. He loved Justin more than anyone: more than his family, more than his bandmates, more than his fans. The blond's watch started beeping. Justin raised his head sleepily as Jack stirred beneath him. "Wha..." the older man groggily slurred. "Shh. It's okay." Justin whispered. "I have to go. I told Lance I'd meet him and the others at the bus half an hour ago." Jack nodded, half-asleep. "Sure, Just. Love you." "I love you too." Justin kissed Jack's forehead and quickly gathered his clothes. * * * "Dammit, Justin, where the hell have you been?!" Chris Kirkpatrick shouted as Justin stepped out of his car. "We were..." His voice died in his throat. One of Justin's cheeks was red and swollen, and he walked with his hands deep in his pockets. "Holy shit..." Chris whispered, running towards his friend. "What the hell happened to you?" "Huh?" Justin blinked, as though in a daze. "Oh, it's nothing, really..." "Nothing?! JC! JC!!!" "No, Chris, don't..." Justin began, but it was too late. JC stuck his head out of the bus, and upon seeing Justin's condition, he went dead-white. He jumped out of the bus and grabbed Justin's arm, pulling him aside. "Chris, could you excuse us?" JC asked pointedly. Crhsi took the hint and turned around, waving away Joey, who was coming to investigate. JC cupped Justin's face in his hands, gently running his thumb over the bruise. "My God..." he murmured. "How did this happen?" "Josh, it was an accident. I fell asleep after the concert and woke up ten minutes ago. I was in such a hurry that I tripped over my shoe and hit my face on the table." JC winced. "Are you okay?" The thumb was slowly drifting away from the bruise, towards Justin's lips. "Yeah, I'll... I'll be fine..." Justin stammered, suddenly noticing that JC's eyes had clouded over. The memory of Jack's eyes burning with insane rage suddenly consumed Justin, and he shuddered, jerking himself away from JC and heading for the bus. The older N'Sync member seemed confused by the sudden reaction, but shook his head and followed Justin. * * * "Bad news, guys." Lance sighed as he got off the phone. "Looks like our little vacation is over." A series of groans followed this announcement, from everyone except Justin, who was staring at the ground silently. "I knew it wouldn't last." Joey chuckled. "So when do we go?" "Day after tomorrow." Lance replied. "We've got some promotional work to do for the album." "Hey Justin, you okay?" Chris asked, noticing his younger friend's pallor. "Yeah, I'm fine." Justin cleared his throat. JC narrowed his eyes. "You know, that's starting to be your theme, Just. 'I'm fine'. You really haven't been yourself lately." Justin didn't even look at his best friend. "I'd tell you if something was wrong, wouldn't I?" "I don't know. Would you?" JC shot back. "I have to go." Justin got up. Lance's eyes widened. "Wait a minute! Go where?" But Justin was already out the door. "Should somebody follow him?" Joey asked. "No." JC shook his head. "Justin's a big boy, he can take care of himself." As the rest of N'Sync dispsered, JC remained in his place, swallowing. If only he could really believe that. * * * "You're leaving?" Jack looked up at Justin with large, pleading eyes. Justin nodded. "I have to." "It's me, isn't it? It's my fault, for losing my temper..." Justin rushed over to Jack, hugging him tightly. "No, it's nothing like that. You must've known from the start that this wasn't going to last." Justin pulled back. "We're going on tour soon." His blue eyes suddenly lit up. "You can come with us..." "Not a chance." Jack shook his head. "I can't go hopping around the country after you, Just." He laid back in bed, dragging Justin on top of him. "There is another option, you know." Jack whispered as he nibbled on his lover's neck. "What would that be, Einstein?" Justin asked teasingly. The amused smile he expected didn't show. Jack was all serious as he lowered Justin onto his side and met his eyes. "Quit." he said. Justin rolled his eyes. "Quit N'Sync, you mean? Come on, Jack, you know I can't do it." "Why not?" Jack propped himself up on one elbow. "Think about it, Just. What does being in the band do for you? Does it make you happy?" "Of course it does, Jack. But it's more than that. This is my CAREER we're talking about." Jack stroked Justin's arm. "So you take a year or two off, then go into the solo business. Jordan Knight did it." "I'd never make it on my own." Justin protested, but Jack shook his head. "Just, you KNOW you're the only one with any talent in that band. You're the only one with his own fan club, remember?" Justin couldn't argue against that logic. "N'Sync won't last long with only four members, though. And what if people start asking me why I left? What'll I tell them?" Jack smiled beatifically, moving in for a slow, reassuring kiss. "Tell them the truth. Tell the whole world the truth, and start with N'Sync." The blood drained from Justin's face. "No. No way, Jack, not after I tried so hard to keep it a secret." "You're so afraid of them, Justin." Jack shook his head sadly. "Why do you let them control you? You don't have to be scared, they've already done all the damage they can. Tell them the truth and walk away. It's for the best." He looked into his boyfriend's eyes. "Once they're out of the picture, you'll never be hurt or afraid again. It'll be just the two of us, together." Justin blinked once. He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Finally, he said "I'll think about it." But in his heart, he had already made his decision.