Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 11:14:20 EDT
From: FourHim821@aol.com
Subject: "It's not just me" Part Three by Mandi

Disclamer: I don't know them, am not them...yada yada yada....This doesn't
mean anything about thier sexualities...yada yada yada...get the
point..haha....

Thanks for the feedback....this one will have a happy ending.



Part Three

"I could've sworn I saw you smilin at me, standing in the pourin' rain.  At a
lose for words and runnin out of time, I said this crazy thing...."

    Justin was unsure what to do with himself for the few hours JC would be
gone.  He had passed an hour by telling himself this WAS for the best, and
then telling himself that he had just made the biggest mistake in his enitre
life.   He wasn't going to lie to himself and say, "it doesn't hurt", because
it was hurting, and he had never felt this pain before, and was sure he
wasn't going to again.  Simply because he knew that he would never love
someone as much as he loved Josh, he told himself to call JC that, because it
just seemed more personal to him.  JC had told him once that he would be the
only one allowed to call him Josh, but it seemed before him and Dallas had
walked out the door, the name Josh just fell of Dallas' lips, and JC didn't
make a move to stop it.


    Four hours had passed, and the clock was approaching midnight, and JC
hadn't made it home yet.  Justin's eyes were growing heavy and he feared he
wouldn't be able to keep himself awake until the jerk decided to walk through
the door.  Justin wondered if Josh had ever had any feelings for him, if Josh
was gay, wouldn't he have at least found him attractive?  Justin did have the
hearts of so many girls in the world, why couldn't he at least get a corner
of the one he wanted?  He thought about what they could be doing right now,
either they were at a club, or......Justin didn't want to think about that.
He just about fell into a deep sleep when he heard the front door open.  He
didn't want JC to see him, he didn't want him to think that he was some
stupid jealous "boyfriend", or worried "father" waiting for him to come home.
 So Justin got up, and went outside "via" the back door, and stripped ,
hopped in the pool, and acted like he was swimming some laps.    JC heard the
water, and walked out there to see who was up so late, and why in the world
were they in the pool?  JC stood in the doorway looking in the water,
recognizing Justin in the water, watching the muscles in  his back flex with
each stroke, the way the water slid over them, making his skin seem to shine
and glow in the moonlight.

    JC had wished it was Justin the entire time he was out, wishing it was
Justin's lips he was kissing, his hand he was holding.  JC knew that Justin
had to have been mad when he let Dallas call him Josh, but maybe he wasn't,
maybe he didn't love him like that, he didn't even know that he was gay.
Even if he wasn't, he wasn't going to let Dallas call him Josh anymore, it
just wasn't right, Dallas didn't have the right to call him Josh, only Justin
did, because Justin had Josh's heart.  The only problem was he didn't know if
he held Justin's, or if he ever will.    He just watched from afar, praying
one day those will be Justin's lips, Justin's hand he will be holding, that
Justin one day would love him like he loved him.  JC sighed and went back
into the house and walked slowly up the stairs, hoping he could find sleep
for just a few short hours.

*******

    Justin woke up the next morning, struggling to sit up, to move at all,
having worked till three inthe morning in the pool.  He had managed to pull a
muscle, and think about nothing else but Josh; nothing accomplished.  He
quietly, and slowly, walked down stairs, stopping every few steps to let the
pain wash over him and leave.  His back felt like someone was stabbing him
over and over with each step he took, he wanted to just lay down and die.  He
reached the kitchen and saw Josh drinking some coffee, and he immediatly
straightened up, or the best he could manage.  He casually walked to the
cabinet, and reached up to get a cup, and the pain was too great, and he all
but crumpled to the floor, the physical and emotional pain too much.

    JC heard him fall behind him, and was at his side in a second, "What's
wrong Curly?"
    "My back."
    JC lifted him off the floor gently and carried him up the stairs and laid
him on his bed, rolling him over so he was on his stomach.
    "Thank you." he said quietly.
    "No problem, I think you over did it in the pool last night, you didn't
stop until I went to sleep, and that was like three am."
    "How did you know I was in the pool?"
    "Let's see, we share this house, your not in your room, or anywhere else
in the house, and so I hear someone in the pool, I walk and there, and there
you are.."
    "Smartass."
    "Yeap, I'll get you some aspirin, and some icy hot." he said getting
ready to walk out the door.
    "Josh, I can't put that on my back."
    " I know that, I will."
    Justin swallowed really hard, wondering how he was going to get through
this....praying that he could.

    JC returned with a glass of water, aspirin and the icy hot.  After Justin
downed the aspirin, JC made sure Justin was comfortable, and went to get a
towel..he wasn't going to have this stuff  on him all day, it didn't smell
too nice.  JC just kept reassuring himself he can do this, nothing will
happen, you can do this, nothing will happen, just behave yourself Joshua.
He gently climbed onto Justin, and sat on his butt, and grabbed the icy hot,
and put it on both his hands.
    "This might hurt at first, but just relax."
    Anyone else hearing that conversation, may have taken it the wrong way,
including the way JC was seated on Justin.

    JC started kneading the tense muscles with his fingers, getting little
uncomfortable moans from Justin, which escalated into whimpers, JC had found
the sore muscle.  He let his mind wander as he hands did the work, he had
always wanted to do this to Justin, but never found a reason, he was so glad
that Justin had over did it in the pool, it gave him a reason to touch him in
the way he always wanted.  He hit another sore place as he felt Justin shift,
trying to get away from the hands that were causing him so much pain.
    "You have to lay still baby, relax."
    Justin smiled at the nickname JC gave him back in MMC, he used it at
first as a tease, to make the younger boy mad.  But then, when Nsync started,
he used it as a soothing name, when he missed his mom, or when he was sick.
He immediatly relaxed under Josh's hands, and fell into a light slumber.  JC
felt him relax, and felt his breathing even out, and knew he fell asleep.  JC
quietly got off of him, and gently brushed his lips against Justin's
forehead, and whispered "I love you Curly," and walked out of the room,
shutting the door behind him.  Justin wasn't asleep......