Date: Thu, 27 Sep 2001 22:50:43 -0700 (PDT) From: Sun Child Subject: JC Dreams 30 After such a long delay, JC Dreams has returned to you. DISCLAIMER: This series is entirely fiction. It is by no means an inference into who Nsync is and any of the band members sexuality. If you are under the legal age to read this I now request you leave. If you are offended by M/M topics, I would ask that you remove yourself from reading this story as well. I am by no means affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA Records. AUTHOR'S WORDS: I want to send out my most heartfelt sympathy to those who have been devastated by the events of the terrorism in the US. My heart goes out to you and I pray that those who have died are in a better place. I offer my condolences to those who have been affected by loss of a loved one with this horror. AUTHOR'S THANKS: I want to thank so many people now but I don't know where to start. Well to start, I should thank the Nifty Archivist who has allowed me to post this series on his site and has continued to let me. Next I would like to thank my most devout reader, Jordan. My young friend, you are amazing. You have a sense of knowledge and street smarts that belies your age. Welcome to my family. Carsten, my friend, your support to this series and to me with all that has happened, words cannot say thank you enough. You are one in a million. Your way with words always manage to make me smile and make me realise when I've fucked up in the story some where. Without you, JC Dreams would be totally and utterly rooted at times. Tim, the net is a big place and it can also be a dangerous place. Keep in mind the lessons I have taught. Things can go wrong, but it is up to you to make them right. To anyone who has read and written in... thanks, your words of support are a blessing to me in disguise. You may not realise the impact but they are all amazing. To those who have read and not written in, thanks for just reading. FEEDBACK: heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com ONLY! (I am no longer using hotmail or ICQ as I am not having major problems with an ex and he has my hotmail so I have closed the account) DEDICATION: This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January - 1980 to 20 - August - 2000. From his memory and support, a story born. Eternal rest grant unto him O'Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen JC Dreams 30 by Sun Child "Yes Josh, that's right I could have cancer." Continued Tony. JC looked down to the floor, unsure of how to take the news. Tony leant back against a wall as JC looked up. The other members looked away and Justin sat down heavily where he was. Chris looked at Tony trying to discern what he had just heard. Joey walked out of the room as Lance leant back against a wall. "Why didn't you tell me Tony? I want to help you through this. I can't help if you won't talk to me though." Tony nodded and looked away. "I'm sorry Josh but I needed to think it over for myself. It was all daunting and confusing for me." "I understand that Tony, but this is me and I can't help if you won't tell me. I love you Tony and you know that I will help you until death do us part." Tony looked at JC and walked over to him. "I know you do Josh and I was stupid for not coming to you. I was scared and didn't know what I should do." Tony wrapped his arms around JC and rested his head on JC's shoulder. JC in return put his arms around Tony and held him, gently kissing his head, quiet tears rolling down over his cheek. The afternoon drifted as the group kept apart from each other. JC sat on the couch as Tony retreated to the bunks to spend time with Butterscotch. Justin sat beside JC incase he wanted to talk. Joey and Chris made themselves busy and absorbed themselves in the playstation that was in the corner. Lance sat at the table reading. Eventually Justin spoke up. "Time to talk about it." The group looked at Justin then away again, none of them wanting to broach the delicate subject. "I'm not kidding. Some one go get Tony. The longer none of us talk about this, the harder it's going to be for us to work through this and support Tony. No one moved as Justin eyed them all. Standing, he looked at them. "I'm getting Tony. By the time I get back, everyone better be sitting at the couches so we can talk." With that Justin walked off to fetch Tony. Walking into the bunking areas, Justin found Tony sitting there absent mindedly stroking Butterscotch who was curled up on his lap. Justin sat down next to Tony. Tony looked over at Justin. "Hey Juz." He said softly. "Hey Tone. Will you come out and sit with us so we can talk about all this?" "I don't want to talk about it Justin. It's hard enough to deal with it on my own without having to dredge it all up with you guys." "I know it is Tony. We want to help and support you but we can't until you come and talk to us. Please Tony, come and talk to us." Tony looked into Justin's pleading eyes and nodded slowly. Justin smiled and stood as Tony cupping Butterscotch in his arms. They walked out to the living area together. When they made it out, the group was sitting at the couches, none of them talking. Tony sat down next to JC with a slight gap between them and kept Butterscotch close. JC didn't make any attempt to move closer to Tony, barely even making acknowledgment that Tony was indeed sitting there. The group remained quiet until Lance spoke. "Well Justin, we are all here like you asked, how about you start talking since you're so keen on it." Lance's voice dripped with cruelty with the last sentence. Tony's head snapped up and glared at Lance. "Don't you dare speak to Justin that way Lance." Lance's head snapped around to look at Tony. "Like you can talk Tony, you're the one who was so bloody selfish that you couldn't talk to us about it to start off with. Inside you decided to cry 'woe is me' and run to the alcohol." "Sorry for not being so fucking perfect Lance. Guess we can't all be like you." Tony threw back. "He never said he was perfect Tony, he told the truth and didn't run and hide from it like some." Spat Chris. "Would you broadcast you're dying Chris would you? You couldn't even tell us you had a new girlfriend." Joey threw at Chris. JC sat on the couch shaking with anger and listening to the arguement rage around. "WILL YOU LOT SHUT THE FUCK UP!" JC finally exploded bringing the other two to a complete stand still. "You all seem intent on fighting and not talking about it. You want to be here for Tony and support him with his sickness but you bitch and get angry about it." JC growled at them. "At least we can get our thoughts in the open about things." Lance threw viciously at JC. Tony stood up and glared at Lance. "Don't you ever talk to him like that again James." Lance stood and looked at Tony square in the eyes. "Or what? You'll hit me? Tony you don't have the balls to hit me. You do it playfully, but not for real. You are too coward." Next thing Lance knew he was sitting on the floor, Tony standing above him, fist clenched. "No one speaks to Josh that way and no one calls me a coward. Pull your head outta ya fuckin' ass and get a grip." "Just because you're goin' to hell and I'm not." Lance threw back pulling himself to his feet. "What's that meant to mean? That I'm not good enough and do enough things right that I'll never make it to heaven?" "It means you live in sin. You're just some stupid faggot who sins by being man. Man shall not lie beside man." Lance threw at him. "Don't talk to me about the bible Lance. If I remember correctly, you're the one with a thing for Justin." Lance's expression read horror that his secret had been exposed to the group and it quickly changed to hate. "Trust me you say. Trust you I did and you couldn't keep it to yourself. Asshole." With that, Lance turned on heel and walked from the room. The remaining five sank into silence. As the bus pulled into the hotel, the six climbed off the bus, none of them speaking. As the rooms were divided up, Justin looked at them. "I'm not staying with Lance." Lance's face registered hurt and then ignorance. "Fine. I'll stay with Joey or Chris." "Sorry, we're together." "You can stay in the room on your own Lance. Justin can stay with us." JC spoke up. Lance's face was cold and expressionless. "Fine. See you all later." He then turned and stalked off to the lift. The rest of them looked at each other then headed for the stairs. As Tony, JC and Justin walked into the room, Justin looked at the other two. "Thanks for this guys. I really do appreciate it." JC put his arm around Justin. "Stin, it's no problem. You know that we don't mind. You are, afterall, basically family." Justin turned and looked at Tony. "I'm sorry I started all that Tony. You didn't need to go through that. It was insensitive on my part." Justin aid with apology sounding out in his voice. Tony shook his head. "It's fine Justin. As I said, I could have cancer. It hasn't been confirmed yet." Justin nodded and hugged Tony. The three walked away, Josh and Tony out onto the balcony as Justin sat down heavily on the bed. "I don't know what to do Tone. The group is falling apart infront of my eyes. Again." JC spoke gently to Tony, his voice carrying a somber tone that crushed Tony's heart. "Give it time to settle Josh. They've got to adjust and accept as well." "They've got to calm? Since when has it been their fiance that's dying?" Asked JC with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Might have cancer Josh. Might is different to having. It's not one hundred percent positive yet." Tony warned him. "I know, I know. It's just that it's taken me so long to find you Tony, I don't want to lose you now." "It's taken me just as long to find you too Josh. I'm not going to give up that easily. I'm having too much fun with my career and am too attatched to you that I don't want to." "You're attatched to me?... and here I was thinking you were here because you loved me." Smiled JC. Tony smiled back. "You know that's the only reason I'm here. Even if I didn't have my career, I would be here with you." JC leant over and kissed Tony lightly. "You know that's the first time you've smiled since all this happened?" Tony said quietly to JC. "I guess it is. I haven't had a lot to smile for." "How about the fact that I am here, alive and with you and that you are alive here and with me?" Asked Tony. "I guess those are good enough reasons." JC grinned. "You guess?" "Fine, I know those are all the good reasons." Tony took JC's hand in his and held it as the pair looked out over the city into the fading sunset. The next day when the others gathered in Tony, JC and Justin's room, Lance was strangely absent. "Anyone know where Lance is?" Asked Tony returning from Lance's room. The other four all shook their heads. "Just means more breakfast for us." Grinned Joey. Tony laughed and shook his head. "Maybe he went for a walk. He'll be okay." Justin commented before returning to his cereal. Tony nodded and walked towards the bedroom. JC stood up and followed. "Not again you two... you kept me awake all night, the walls aren't that thick you know." Moaned Justin happily. Tony stuck his tongue at Justin and kept going. Inside the bedroom Tony lay down on the bed as JC sat beside him. "Okay Tony, spill, what's up?" "I don't know. I guess I'm just worried about Lance. It's probably nothing, I know but I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong." Tony said sighing. JC nodded his head. "Lance is big enough to look after himself ya know." "I know, I guess I just worry too much." "You do. Now come and eat." JC told him. Tony leant over and nibbled lightly on JC's neck. "Not me, food." JC said pointing. Tony stuck out his tongue. "Spoil sport." JC leant over and whispered in Tony's ear. "We're still to shower remember." Tony looked at JC and grinned. "Kick out the others?" "They're eatting." "So?" "It'd be rude." "Our room." "They're food." Their senseless banter continued as they walked out of the bedroom smiling. Tony made his way over to the food and looked at what was on offer. JC walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist and rested his head on Tony's shoulder. "What are you having?" Asked JC quietly. "It's what I'm not getting." Whispered back Tony. "Later I told you." "Better be." Giggled Tony. The door swung open and both Tony and JC looked up and saw Lance standing there swaying slightly. His shirt was torn, his blonde hair matted. Blood was drying on his brow and a black eye well into development. JC let go of Tony who rushed over to Lance and grabbed him before he fell down. Guiding his gently to a seat he sent JC off to get a face towel to clean down Lance's face. "Lance, what happened?" Asked Tony as the others crowded around. "I went for a walk and there was a group of guys and they don't like our music and we're all faggots if you listen to them." Lance said brokenly. "Shit Lance. Why didn't you take on of us." "Because you were all angry with me about it all." "We'd all calmed down by then, you should have at least tried." Justin took the rag from JC as he returned and knelt down next to Lance. "We'd better get you cleaned up hey Scoop." Smiled Justin. Lance looked up carefully at Justin and smiled faintly." "Sounds like a plan Justin." Tony moved away while Justin went to work on cleaning Lance's face. An hour later, the room emptied save for Tony and JC. "Gonna keep the promise?" Asked Tony. "You say I've got a one tracked mind." Sighed JC with a grin. "You do though." "True I do have a one tracked mind. I just can't stop thinking about Lance though. After seeing him just then, I realised just how lucky I am to have someone in this world like you. Someone I love and loves me. It makes me feel so alive." "Makes two of us babe..." Tony started as his cell phone went off in the other room. Groaning Tony went off to answer it. "Hello?... Yes speaking... Yes I have been waiting for results... They're in? I was told a while longer yet... Oh okay then... oh... no, no that's alright... okay, yeah thanks, bye." Tony said as he hung and looked up and saw JC, standing there, fear in his eyes. "That was the hospital. They have my results for me." --- Love it or hate it here it is. What do you think? Let me know -= heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com =- ... please remember this is my only account now as hotmail is no longer being used. Later guys. ~hugs kisses and cookies~ SunChild